Season 58 Playoffs...SemiFinals Game 1...Dallas at Los Angeles

DALLAS 75, LOS ANGELES 66

DEMONS DOWN HICK-LESS L.A.

LOS ANGELES -- The very first roll of the dice in the Season 58 playoffs was disastrous for Los Angeles, as the fans of the Big One watched Hall of Fame point guard Vicious Hick go down to a 3-game injury, seriously damaging the team's hopes for a championship run.

L.A., with usually reliable guard Donnie DuPons in for Hick, hung in there for most of the contest...even leading at the end of the first and third quarters, before coming apart in the fourth to lose to the six-time-defending champs from Dallas, 75-66.

The Demons, who came into post-season riding a 6-game winning streak, avenged an 80-58 shellacking by L.A. that kicked off the campaign, as they held the number one shooting percentage team (60.6 percent) to just 45 percent accuracy. Dupons came up small in that department, going just 3 for 12 from the floor.

Dallas was forced to play rookie forward Fashion Boy Vuitton for the better part of the game when Demons' forward Nick Kenpoop sucker punched Phillip Mianus of L.A., leading to a brawl and the ejection of Kenpoop.  

The home team could not capitalize on a 10-rebound advantage, and as the game slipped away late in the fourth, Los Angeles coach Naceg Gecan, with red-faced frustration, laid into the referees, leading to a technical foul with 6 time units remaining.

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

26 GVP...Hall of Fame guard JUZAN DJINN took control of the game in the fourth quarter like he has so many times in the past for Dallas. The All-MBA stud did not have a great shooting day, going just 3 for 12 (1 for 4 from deep and 6 for 6 from the foul line), but contributed, as usual, in many other ways in this win. He led everyone in assists with 6, tied for team rebounding honors with 4 and  blocked a game-high 3 shots. His man, Pinky Toe, did not score in the second half and fouled out of the game.

AND

26 GVP...Djinn's running mate at point guard MINI CARFARTT led everyone in scoring with 23 points, going 11 for 16 from the floor, including 1 for 4 from deep, 2 rebounds and a steal that ended with a slam dunk by the 5-10 thief. Los Angeles came into the series boasting the best guard combo, but Djinn and Carfartt demonstrated their potency in this game. Carfartt pretty much destroyed DuPons.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

23 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "The Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...13 points...8 rebounds...2 assists.

22 GVP...Los Angeles power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...14 points...7 rebounds...1 block.

20 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard Pinky Toe...12 points...5 assists...3 rebounds.

NEXT UP: Game 1 of the Semis with Sacramento at Philadelphia...two teams that finished last place in the previous season return to the post-season after long absences.

 

Season 58 Playoff Preview

 This post-season is the most unpredictable of the past seven campaigns; the last six of  which were won by the overwhelming favorite, the Dallas Demons.

The Demons are definitely in the mix again this campaign, with a chance to add to their unprecedented string of championships. But they are no longer the locked-in Las Vegas prime pick. 

For the first time in MBA history, the team with the worst record of the four playoff teams (meaning Sacramento) comes into the post-season with 7 victories. Philadelphia leads the way at 9-1, followed by Los Angeles and Dallas at 8-2. So picking a champion out of this quartet is educated guess-work at best.

--The Big One from L.A. has the best guard combonation...and for that matter, probably the best forward combo as well. 

-- The Phobia, the all-time winningest franchise in MBA history with 16 titles, is looking for its first championship since Season 43, 15 campaigns ago. Coincidentally, Season 43 was the last time Philly posted a 9-1 record during the regular season. This has been the longest stretch in the team's history without winning it all. In fact, this is the first playoff appearance for Philly in eight seasons.

-- Half of the post-season field from last season returns to the playoff hunt, with Dallas and Los Angeles both back. The Demons took out The Big One in last season's SemiFinals 2 games to 0. 

-- The other half of the post-season field - Philadelphia and Sacramento - both finished in last place during the previous campaign, with the River Dogs carrying the added burden of a potential change of venues since they had back-to-back last place campaigns.

-- Retiring Sacramento forward Satan Israel still has a shot, albeit a long one, to make the Hall of Fame. One award shy of the grand distinction, a ring and/or a Playoff MVP award would turn the trick. That won't be easy with Philadelphia standing in the way of the River Dogs.

-- Tyler predicts a Finals between Los Angeles and Philadelphia, with the Phobia coming away champs. He sees L.A. guard Pinky Toe as the Playoff MVP. (which would be the first MVP of his fine career).

-- None of the four playoff teams had an impactful rookie on their respective squads.

-- The four playoff teams played six games against each other during the regular season. Los Angeles was 2-1, Philadelphia was 2-1, Sacramento was 1-1 and Dallas was 1-2. The results were as follows:

L.A. beat Dallas 80-58 on the road

Philly beat Dallas 76-75 at home

Dallas beat Philly 79-68 at home

Philly beat L.A. 70-66 on the road

L.A. beat Sacramento 82-79 at home

Sacramento beat L.A. 79-76 at home

The Semifinal matchups this season are:

Dallas at Los Angeles...A rematch of last season's Semis in which the Demons dispatched The Big One 2 games to 0. L.A. pounded Dallas in a cross-over game to start the season. Expect this one to go three games.

Sacramento at Philadelphia...Sacramento guards are going to have to shine brightly for the R-Dogs to get past Philly. The Phobia has a huge advantage at the center position. 

NEXT UP: Game 1...Dallas at Los Angeles

Season 58...Leaders and Awards

PRESEASON PREDICTIONS HONORS GO TO DAVE…2-1, the key being Juzan Djinn pick by Dave for All-MBA…both picked 3000

 

 

Dave

G-Hall of Famer Vicious Hick of Los Angeles

G-Hall of Famer Juzan Djinn of Dallas

C-Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas

F-Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose

F-Erik A. Crocidale of Seattle

 

Tyler

G-Hall of Famer Vicious Hick of Los Angeles

G-Itstha Bishop of Philadelphia

C-Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas

F-Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose

F-Eric A. Crocidale of Seattle

 

LEAGUE MVP 

Dave picks Juzan Djinn of Dallas

Tyler picks Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas

 

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

forward Zach "Zing-Zing" Zigler of  Gillette (unanimous)

 

Only four centers over 20 GVP, but those four all made the Top Ten list for all positions. 

NEXT UP: PLAYOFF PREVIEW...ANY PREDICTIONS FROM YOU?

AS TYLER OBSERVED...GOING FROM ZERO AWARDS ON HIS CARD FOR THE FIRST FOUR SEASONS OF HIS CAREER TO LEAGUE MVP IS SOMEWHAT ASTONISHING. THE MOVE BY TYLER TO TRADE FOR PHILIBUCK DAVIA, ALLOWING GARNEL TO MOVE TO SMALL FORWARD FREED THE LATENT TALENT OF THE FORMER SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE HOST OF SHORT ATTENTION SPAN THEATER.

WITH THIS SEASON'S ADDITION OF AN ALL STAR GAME STAR AND THIS SIXTH ALL-MBA FOIL STAR, THE GREAT HALL OF FAME GUARD JUZAN DJINN HAS MOVED PAST MAX PAYNE, CHIP BATTOE AND FINALLY, NAF NAF ON THE MBA PYRAMID OF GREATNESS TO RANK JUST ONE AWARD BEHIND THE ALL TIME LEADER CURLY HOGBOTTOM. DJINN HAS 24 AWARDS (5 MVPS, 6 ALL-MBAs, 6 RINGS AND 7 ALL STAR GAME APPEARANCES. HE CAN TIE OR CLAIM THE TOP SPOT WITH A PLAYOFF MVP, ANOTHER CHAMPIONSHIP RING OR BOTH.

THE TOP 10 ALL-TIME MBA LIST

1. Curly Hogbottom...25 awards

2. Juzan Djinn...24 awards

3. Naf Naf...23 awards

4. Chip Battoe...22 awards

4. Max Payne...22 awards

6. Uncle Bob Masterson...21 awards

7. Hrundi V. Bakshi...19 awards

7. Saggital Occlusal...19 awards

7. Cappy Gambol...19 awards

10. Jesse Shershot...18 awards

10. Mamadou Zongo...18 awards

10. Boone Doggle...18 awards

NEXT UP: Position rankings and Main Standings Page with breakdowns

 

Season 58 Featured Game No. 10...Los Angeles at Sacramento

SACRAMENTO 79, LOS ANGELES 76

R-DOGS BEST BIG ONE

SACRAMENTO -- This time it was Sacramento (now 7-3) by 3 points, 79-76, with the River Dogs hanging on for payback for an earlier 82-79 loss to these same Los Angeles Big One (now 8-2).

In an excruciating fourth quarter in which they watched their 10-point lead get all the way down to 1, the R-Dogs could manage just 9 points as L.A. closed the gap with a series of blocked shots by Phillip Mianus. But, nursing a 1-point lead, Sacramento point guard Rabbit Munchers hit a welcome trey with 8 ticks left to provide some breathing room. But the lead was back to 1 in an instant as Los Angeles pivot Otzi Bolzano immediately scored, was fouled and hit his free throw. 

The winning bucket came at the 5 time unit mark when POG Satan Israel of Sacramento took control at the top of the key, drove to the cup and slammed home what turned out to be the game-winner. 

So now we have four threats to win the title this season, with a quartet of playoff teams who have all won at least 7 games.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

36 GVP...Retiring power forward SATAN ISRAEL of Sacramento was the difference in this game, scoring a game-high 32 points despite missing essentially all of the third quarter with a recurring injury. The 6-8 Israel, in his eighth and final campaign, was due for a big scoring outing. With guards Rabbit Munchers and Bellybutton Inquisition carrying a majority of the scoring load all season, Israel's offensive numbers were the lowest of his career. He picked an excellent time to rectify that situation, hitting his first 10 shots of the game as he notched 12 points in the first quarter, followed by 15 more in the second. His final total of 32 came on 13 of 16 shooting, including 3 slam dunks and 6 for 7 from the foul line. He is now averaging 14.5 points per game. He dominated his man, Grand Demur Fuyacho, who was returning to the Big One lineup from injury for the first time in four games. If The R-Dogs are going to do anything in the post season, they'll need Israel to be a productive part of their offense...and to stay healthy.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

25 GVP...Sacramento point guard Rabbit Munchers...18 points (4 treys)...4 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal.

25 GVP...Los Angeles Hall of Fame point guard Vicious Hick...16 points (3 treys)...6 assists...3 rebounds.

24 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "the Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...17 points...7 rebounds.

23 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard Pinky Toe...18 points...3 rebounds...2 assists.

A LOOK AT THE TIGHT MVP RACE

This is one of the closest MVP races in recent memory, with three, maybe four players squarely in the hunt.

Prior to this Featured Game, the race looks as follows:

1. guard Pinky Toe of Los Angeles…32.3 GVP points

1. forward Leonard Pinth Garnel of Philadelphia… 32.3 GVP points

3. Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn of Dallas… 31.4 GVP points

4. center Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas…30.4 GVP points

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………8-1 (clinched playoffs)

DALLAS………………7-2

OKLAHOMA CITY…..4-5

CHARLESTON……….3-6 (eliminated)

MILWAUKEE………..1-8 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….8-2 (clinched playoffs and first place in division)

SACRAMENTO… 7-3 (clinched playoffs)

GILLETTE…………4-6 (eliminated)

SEATTLE………….3-6 (eliminated)

SAN JOSE…………2-8 (eliminated)

NEXT UP:  Philadelphia at Oklahoma City. The Phobia could clinch both first place in the East and home court advantage for the entire playoffs with a road win against the Lariats. Philly, on a 3-game winning streak, handled Oklahoma City fairly easily 76-63 in their first meeting, with Phobia center Blob Dylan domineering during the proceedings.

 

Season 58, Featured Game No. 9...Oklahoma City at Dallas

DALLAS 90, OKLAHOMA CITY 65 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

DEMONS DESTROY LARIATS

DALLAS -- With this 90-65 manhandling by Dallas of Oklahoma City, the playoff teams are set for Season 58. All that remains is determining first place in the East in a race between current leader Philadelphia and the six-time-defending-champion Demons and who gets home court advantage throughout the post-season.

This Featured Game was competitive up until halftime. In the third quarter, Dallas outscored the visitors 20-7 and it was all over. 

The Demons, who possess the longest current winning streak at 5, crushed Oklahoma City defensively, preventing 19 would-be points.

The victors shot 71.2 percent from the floor to just 50.9 percent for the Lariats.

Points prevented...Dallas 19, Oklahoma City 3

Turnovers caused: Oklahoma City 4, Dallas 3

Tops in points prevented: Juzan Djinn of Dallas with 13, Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas with 4

Tops in turnovers caused: Oblio Assbag of Oklahoma City with 2

PLAYER OF THE GAME

27 GVP...Role-playing power forward NICK KENPOOP of Dallas stepped up and claimed POG honors for the first time this season with a game-high 20-point performance. The 6-10, fourth-year man dominated Oklahoma City's L.S. Island, scoring on 8 of 9 shots, slamming home 3 dunks and going 4 of 6 from the foul line. The sharp passing big man tied for game-high in assists with 4 while pulling down 3 boards. A steady, if not spectacular piece in the last two Dallas championships, Kenpoop is now scoring at a modest-but-steady 12 points per game, which is tied for his best scoring season.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

23 GVP...Dallas small forward Venial Sinn...19 points...3 assists...1 rebound.

23 GVP...Oklahoma City small forward Rumpy Pumpy Lewis...17 points...3 rebounds...3 assists.

20 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...11 points...4 rebounds...3 blocked shots...2 assists...game-high 13 points prevented.

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………7-1 (clinched playoffs)

DALLAS………………7-2 (clinched playoffs)

OKLAHOMA CITY…..4-5

CHARLESTON……….3-6 (eliminated)

MILWAUKEE………..1-7 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….7-1 (clinched playoffs and first place in division)

SACRAMENTO… 6-3 (clinched playoffs)

GILLETTE…………4-5 (eliminated)

SEATTLE………….3-6 (eliminated)

SAN JOSE…………1-8 (eliminated)

NEXT UP:  Bracket 9 concludes with first-place Philly at last-place Milwaukee. The Phobia is still jostling for first in the East with Dallas as well as home court throughout the playoffs. They held Milwaukee to 53 measly points in their first meeting, winning by 15 behind Itstha Bishop and Leonard Pinth Garnel’s duo POG performances.

 

Season 58 Featured Game No. 8...Sacramento at Los Angeles

 

LOS ANGELES 82, SACRAMENTO 79

L.A. comes back in barn-burner

LOS ANGELES -- The Los Angeles Big One (now 7-1), trailing by 9 points with 54 time units left in the game, rallied to come all the way back for an electrifying 82-79 victory over second-place Sacramento (now 5-3). 

The victory clinches a playoff spot for L.A.; its second in a row. They join Philadelphia as guaranteed post-season teams.

The Big One used a trio of 3-pointers by Vicious Hick in the fourth quarter and took the lead for good on a short jumper by center Otzi Bolzano with 3 time units remaining. 

The victory gives L.A. its first 7-win season in eight campaigns; the most since Season 50 when they went 9-1 in a championship year.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

35 GVP..."MIGHTY MITE" BELLYBUTTON INQUISITION was the star of the show for the Sacramento River Dogs in this tough loss. The 5-11, 6th-year veteran scored a game-high 27 points in a head-to-head shootout with league scoring leader Pinky Toe of L.A. Inquisition got off to a great start, scoring 11 points in the first quarter on the way to a 12 for 20 shooting day, with 1 slam dunk. He was also 3 for 3 from the foul line and tied for game-high in assists with 4 and team-high in rebounds with 4. A three-time all star, this hard-driving back court player has become sharper with the passage of time. He's scoring at a career-best 17.6 points per game and has sparked the revitalized Sacramento franchise after coming to them in the free agent draft. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

26 GVP...Retiring Los Angeles forward Phillip Mianus...15 points...5 rebounds...4 blocked shots...1 assist...1 steal.

25 GVP...Hall of Fame Los Angeles point guard Vicious Hick...17 points (4 treys)...6 rebounds...2 assists.

20 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "the Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...13 points...5 rebounds...1 blocked shot...1 assist

25 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard Pinky Toe...21 points...3 assists...1 rebound.

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………7-1 (clinched playoffs)

DALLAS…………………6-2

OKLAHOMA CITY…..4-4

CHARLESTON……….3-5 (eliminated)

MILWAUKEE………..1-7 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….7-1 (clinched playoffs)

SACRAMENTO… 5-3

SEATTLE………….3-4

GILLETTE…………2-5

SAN JOSE…………1-7 (eliminated)

NEXT UP: Bracket 8 concludes with Seattle hosting Gillette. A win would put the home team Stampede just one game behind Sacramento for the second playoff berth. But there is no guarantee. The Humps bested Seattle in Bracket 6 with a 75-68 setback behind the hot shooting of Maboroshi No Hotcake. 

 

Season 58 Featured Game No. 7...Philadelphia at Los Angeles

PHILADELPHIA 70, LOS ANGELES 66

DEFENSE PREVAILS 

IN SHOWDOWN

LOS ANGELES -- Led by the efforts of Tut Ankhamun, Blob Dylan and Leonard Pinth Garnel, the league-leading defense of the Philadelphia Phobia (now 6-1) held the MBA's top offense 19 points below their average as they triumphed 70-66 in this cross-over showdown of first place teams.

The loss was the first blemish on The Big One's record (now 6-1) and improved the East vs. West record to 5-2 this campaign.

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

25 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard PINKY TOE led all scorers in this losing effort, with a 20-point performance in which the fifth-year man was 9 for 16 (2 of 5 from deep, 0 of 1 from foul line). He added 3 rebounds, 1 assist and 1 steal. Toe, who is shooting for his second All-MBA foil star, is second in the league in scoring with a 22-points per game average. He's leading the L.A. squad in scoring for the fifth straight season. This was his fourth POG, tying him for the lead league.

25 GVP...The league's best defensive center, BLOB DYLAN of Los Angeles, scored a team-high 19 points in this huge win, giving him a career-best 15.3 ppg scoring average this season. The 6-11 sixth-year man was 9 for 11 from the floor (1 for 1 from the foul line) with a team-high 5 rebounds and the team's only blocked shot. It was the first POG of the season for Dylan.

25 GVP...6-10 small forward LEONARD PINTH GARNEL is having a banner year in this, his fifth campaign. He's leading the league in rebounding, is third in assists and is averaging a career-best 13.4 ppg. In this win he was 7 for 10 from the floor (1 for 3 from deep), handing out a game-high 7 assists and pulling down 3 rebounds. He's on track for his first All-MBA star and is currently tied with Toe for most POGs in the league with 4. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

23 GVP...Retiring Los Angeles forward Phillip Mianus...9 points...8 rebounds...3 blocks...2 assists...1 steal.

22 GVP...Retiring Philadelphia shooting guard Itstha Bishop...16 points...3 assists...2 rebounds...1 steal

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………6-1

DALLAS………………4-2

OKLAHOMA CITY…..3-3

CHARLESTON……….3-3

MILWAUKEE………..1-5

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….6-1

SACRAMENTO… 5-2

SEATTLE………….3-4

GILLETTE…………2-5

SAN JOSE…………0-7 (eliminated)

NEXT UP: Last-place Milwaukee at Dallas. A loss by the Greyhounds would eliminate them from playoff contention, joining San Jose in that category. The defending champion Demons bested a surprisingly game Milwaukee club in their first meeting 83-77 behind the POG heroics of center Poop-Rupiah 3000. 

Season 58 Featured Game 6...Philadelphia at Dallas...plus a look at scoring and rebounding leaders

DALLAS 79, PHILADELPHIA 69

DEMONS WIN WITH SURGE IN FOURTH

DALLAS -- The Dallas Demons (now 4-2) dealt the visiting, first-place Philadelphia Phobia (now 5-1) their first defeat of Season 58, using a strong fourth quarter to turn a closely fought contest into a 79-69 victory. The win split the season series between the two East Division front runners and brought the six-time defending champion Demons to within a game of the Phobia.

The loss by Philly makes Los Angeles the only unbeaten team in the MBA right now. 

While Philadelphia, the top defensive team in the MBA, played hard-nosed defense, preventing 19 points by Dallas, free throws proved to be the main difference in the game. Dallas shot 13 more charity tosses than did the Phobia, going 14 of 15 at the line.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Philadelphia...9...4...0...6  Total=19

Dallas.............2...2...0...2...Total=6

Top Players points prevented

1. Blob Dylan, Philadelphia 8

2. Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia 6

3. Venial Sinn, Dallas 4

TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTERS

Philadelphia...2...1...2...0  Total=5

Dallas.............3...0...0...3  Total=6

Top Players turnovers caused

1. Mini Carfartt, Dallas 3

2. Nick Kenpoop, Dallas 2

PLAYER OF THE GAME

39 GVP...The smallest starter in the league at 5-10, Dallas point guard MINI CARFARTT, grabbed his first POG of the season, scoring from all four zones on the court to produce a game-high 33 points. The effort was in direct contrast to the first meeting with Philly, when Carfartt scored just 4 points and fouled out in a 1-point loss. The little guy was 12 for 17 from the floor, a perfect 2 for 2 from deep and 7 for 7 from the free throw line. He also tied for the team lead with 3 assists while pulling down 2 rebounds and registering 1 steal. Defensively, he was the top player in the game at causing turnovers, with 3. The fourth-year player is now averaging 14.3 points per game.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

27 GVP...Retiring Philadelphia shooting guard Itstha Bishop...23 points (4 treys)...4 rebounds.

25 GVP...Dallas center Poop-Rupiah 3000...15 poionts (5 slams)...8 rebounds...1 block...1 assist.

21 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...16 points...2 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal.

21 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Tut Ankhamun...13 points...6 assists...1 steal...1 rebound.

20 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...7 points...8 rebounds...2 assists...2 steals...1 block.

20 GVP...Philadelphia power forward Philibuck Davia...18 points (7 slams)...2 rebounds.

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………5-1

DALLAS………………4-2

OKLAHOMA CITY…..3-3

CHARLESTON……….2-3

MILWAUKEE………..1-4

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….6-0

SACRAMENTO… 4-2

GILLETTE………2-4

SEATTLE………2-4

SAN JOSE………0-6

NEXT UP: The final game of bracket 6 has Charleston looking for revenge against Milwaukee on the Greyhounds’ home court. Milwaukee edged the Mountaineers in their first meeting 76-74 for their only win thus far. Charleston can get back to .500 with a victory, but a loss would drop them behind Milwaukee in the standings.

SEASON 58 MBA SCORING LEADERS

23.8 ppg...Famichiki Whiskey, Milwaukee

22.3 ppg...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles

21.5 ppg...Juzan Djinn, Dallas (Hall of Fame)

19.5 ppg...Bonifazio Spegatini, Oklahoma City (rookie)

19.3 ppg...Rabbit Munchers, Sacramento

SEASON 58 MBA REBOUNDING LEADERS

6.7 per game...Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia

5.4 per game...Scobee Bryant, Milwaukee

5.3 per game...Brother Jasper, Gillette

5.3 per game...Blob Dylan, Philadelphia

5.3 per game...Satan Israel, Sacramento (retiring)

Season 58 All Star Game in Sacramento

WEST 82, EAST 81 (Buzzer Beater)

WEST TAKES A THRILLER

SACRAMENTO -- Power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho's free throw after the final buzzer gave the West a one-point, 82-81 victory in one of the more riveting All Star Games in MBA history.

With the West trailing by two points and one time unit left, Fuyacho got the ball down low, scored, tying the game, and was fouled by Leonard Pinth Garnel. The 6-10 third-year man from Los Angeles then calmly sank the accompanying free throw for the victory, which was the second in a row for the West.

The East still leads the series 36 to 22, but in games played in Sacramento, the West is now 5-1.

Trailing 62-54 entering the fourth quarter, the West slowly worked its way back to within 4 points when guard Pinky Toe of Los Angeles drove to the hole, scored and was fouled with 4 ticks left. His subsequent free throw was no good, but it was Toe who came flying in from the free throw line and tipped in his own miss to tie the score with 3 left.

Then in the waning moments, Garnel's lob to Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas resulted in a slam and a two-point lead for the East with just one time unit remaining, leading to the Fuyacho heroics.

It was the closest All Star Game finish since Season 30 when Oklahoma City rookie guard Jerry Curl hit a medium jumper at the horn to give the West a 75-74 triumph.

Yes...Oklahoma City was in the West at that point.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

33 GVP...Fifth-year veteran Los Angeles guard PINKY TOE can now add All Star Game MVP to his Rookie of the Year, All-MBA and 5 All Star appearances in as many seasons. The 6-2 Toe led the fourth-quarter charge for the winning West, including the dramatic 4-point play that tied it up near game's end. He scored a game-high 28 points on 13 of 21 shooting that included 2 for 6 from deep and 0 for 1 from the foul line. (The reluctant Toe would not reveal if he missed that free throw on purpose as part of his game-tying play). He added 4 rebounds and 1 assist.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

31 GVP...Dallas center Poop-Rupiah 3000...25 points (6 slams)...3 rebounds...2 blocks...1 steal.

25 GVP...Gillette center Brother Jasper...21 points (4 slams)...4 rebounds.

24 GVP...Oklahoma City rookie guard Bonafazio Spegatini...19 points...3 rebounds...2 assists.

Season 58 All Star Rosters announced...plus history and extras

The East has won 36 All Star Games. The West has 21 wins, including last season's 84-64 victory led by All Star Game MVP Vicious Hick of Los Angeles who led the way with a game-high 21 points.

-- With his All Star Game selection, Dallas' Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn, the face of the current MBA, has now earned 22 awards on his card, which ties him for third-most in league history with Max Payne and Chip Battoe. Only Naff Naff, with 23 awards and Curly Hogbottom, at the top of the pyramid with 25, have more.

-- This is the seventh time Djinn has made the starting lineup for an All Star Game, which ties him for second place in that category with Hall of Famers Boone Doggle and Uncle Bob Masterson. He is one behind the all-time leader Momadou Zongo, with 8 starts.

-- Djinn is currently 7th in All Star Game scoring with 107 points...Uncle Bob Masterson is first all-time with 158.

-- Djinn already has the most assists in All Star Game history with 21.

-- Djinn already has the most blocks in All Star Game history with 22.

-- Just 7 of the 20 All Stars made last season's All Star rosters.

-- None of the East starters for this coming All Star Game made the All Star roster last season. In fact, only Poop-Rupiah 3000 and Phillip Mianus from the East, were on last season's All Star roster.

-- Five West players made last year's All Star Game.

-- The only two players who started last season and this season are Pinky Toe of Los Angeles and J.J. "Jake" Pickle of Seattle.

-- Two of the four current Hall of Fame players made the All Star Game...Juzan Djinn of Dallas and Vicious Hick of Los Angeles. Chochky Galumpkus of San Jose was injured early in the season and Crentis Dentist of Seattle is no longer a starter. 

-- The most players from any one rookie class to make this All Star Game come from Season 54...Leonard Pinth-Garnel, Tut Ankhamun, Pinky Toe, Brother Jasper, Vicious Hick and Hilbee Juggleboy.

-- There are eight first-time All Stars in this game, including the only rookie, Bonafazio Spegatini of Oklahoma City.

-- This will be the final All Star Game for Oklahoma City center Johnny Bananas and Los Angeles forward Phillip Mianus. Both will retire at the conclusion of this season.

20-plus GVP players who did not make the team

-- Bellybutton Inquisition of Sacramento (21.2 GVP)

-- Maboroshi No Hotcake of Gillette (21.8 GVP)

-- Duran-Duran of Oklahoma City (20.0 GVP)

-- Scobee Bryant of Milwaukee (21.6 GVP)

-- Venial Sinn of Dallas (21.2 GVP)

-- Eric A. Crocidale of Seattle (20.2 GVP)

-- Two retiring players who would have made the Hall of Fame had they been named to the All Star Game failed to gain their 10th award ... Satan Israel of Sacramento (18.6 GVP) and Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose (19.4 GVP). 

This is the sixth time that Sacramento has hosted the All Star Game, and the West has won four of the previous five held at the home of the River Dogs. They are:

-- Season 10...West 94, East 82...MVP and top scorer, Hall of Fame forward Marshall Stax of Oklahoma City (30 points).

-- Season 16...West 87, East 75...MVP Z.Z. Magoo of Dallas...top scorer Piston Honda of Chicago (22 points).

Season 25...East 82, West 80...MVPs (3-way tie) Hall of Famer Boone Doggle of Chicago, Sammy Zazooch of Milwaukee and Marcus Pettis of Oklahoma City. Pettis was the top scorer with 19 points.

Season 34...West 74, East 68...MVP Smokey Talisker of Seattle (the first of back to back ASG MVPs)...top scorer Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi of Houston (22 points).

Season 42...West 71, East 69...MVP and top scorer... Ginger Vampire of Oklahoma City 24 points.

Season 58 Featured Game No. 5...Gillette at Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES 88, GILLETTE 83

BIG ONE GETS OVER THE HUMPS

LOS ANGELES -- After starting Season 58 with a four-game road trip, the home team Los Angeles Big One (now 5-0) held off the charges of an obstinate Gillette team (now 1-4) by a score of 88-83 to secure a perfect record at the All Star break.

Both teams shot over 60 percent in the game, but the Big One had major advantages in both rebounding (23-14) and free throwing (16 made to 7). Still, Gillette had the home crowd sweating bullets as the Humps led by 7 points in the fourth quarter with 41 time units remaining. But the prospect of victory for the visitors dimmed considerably when star guard Maboroshi No Hotcake fouled out with 38 ticks left and his team ahead by just 4. 

Ten time units later Los Angeles tied the game, then took the lead for good at the 20 time unit mark. 

PLAYER OF THE GAME

32 GVP...Journeyman ball-handling wizard SEEYALATER SCRONTO comes up with these kinds of superb games every once in a while, and his efforts in this loss kept things interesting to the very end. The 5-11, seventh-season guard put on a show with a game-high 24-point performance that included a game-high 5 assists, a steal and a blocked shot as he went toe-to-toe with his opposite, Pinky Toe. The diminutive Scronto went 9 for 18 from the floor, including 2 of 5 from deep and 4 of 4 from the foul line. He had a total of 29 points in the first four games of the season before nearly matching that number in this game. Scronto is playing for his fourth different team in seven seasons and third different team in the past three campaigns (including spending half of last season in the cut pile). He's now averaging 10.6 ppg.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

30 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard Pinky Toe...23 points...3 rebounds...3 assists...1 steal.

28 GVP...Los Angeles power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...20 points...6 rebounds...1 block...1 assist. 

22 GVP...Gillette point guard Maboroshi No Hotcake...19 points...2 assists...1 rebound. 
21 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "The Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...15 points...3 rebounds...2 assists...1 blocked shot. 

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………4-0

DALLAS………………3-2

OKLAHOMA CITY…..3-2

CHARLESTON……….2-3

MILWAUKEE………..1-4

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….5-0

SACRAMENTO… 3-2

SEATTLE………….2-3

GILLETTE…………1-4

SAN JOSE…………0-4

NEXT UP: The first half of Season 58 concludes with a thud of a game as the league’s only win-less team, San Jose, travels to Philadelphia to face one of the two remaining unbeaten MBA squads. This cross-over will likely give the East a familiar 4-1 victory mark over the West at the mid-point. To further emphasize the disparity of the two teams, Philly has the best defense in the MBA, yielding just 63 points per game, while San Jose has the worst defense, giving up 88.8 ppg.

BONUS

MBA MVP LADDER

(leading candidates coming into Featured Game)

Dave picked Djinn to win the MVP and he’s rebounded from a sub-par season (for him) to take a somewhat dominant lead in the MVP race. Meanwhile, the move to small forward for Leonard Pinth Garnel has allowed his talents to shine brighter than ever. He’s having an outstanding season. Coincidentally, Philadelphia traded the man in third place at the moment to Oklahoma City, receiving Philibuck Davia in return, which allowed the Garnel move to small forward. Spegatini has been outstanding in the first half of the season for the Lariats.

1. Ninth-year Dallas 6-2 Hall of Fame guard JUZAN DJINN 31.4 GVP plus 4 points for second place team = 35.4…Second in league in scoring (22.6 ppg)…third in free throwing (82.8 % with 24 made)…Second in blocked shots (15)…top scoring game of season (36 points)…two-time regular season MVP…three-time playoff MVP.

2.  Fifth-year Philadelphia 6-10 small forward LEONARD PINTH GARNEL 28.8 GVP plus 5 points for first place team = 33.8….top rebounder in league (7.5)…second in assists (4.5)…third in 3-point shooting (80 % with 4 made)…second in steals (5).

3. Oklahoma City 6-5  rookie shooting guard BONAFAZIO SPEGATINI 28.6 GVP plus 3 points for third place team = 31.6…third in league scoring (21.6 ppg)

 

MBA ROOKIE LADDER

(leading candidates coming into Featured Game)

The Spegatini trade described in the former section gave the shooting guard a chance to start, which he would not have had with Philadelphia. He’s seized the opportunity big time. Both Dave and Tyler picked Zigler to win the Rookie honor.

1. Oklahoma City 6-5 shooting guard BONAFAZIO SPEGATINI…28.6 GVP…21.6 ppg

2. Charleston 5-9 point guard HUMUHUM APUA…21.4 GVP…15.8 ppg

3. Gillette 6-8 forward ZACH “ZING-ZING” ZIGLER…16.4 GVP…12.3 ppg

Season 58 retirements

 19 Players...including 6 starters...1 Hall of Famer and 7 poor souls from the cut pile announced their retirements Thursday evening.

As Tyler observed, "A lot of talent is leaving the league," including near Hall of Fame players Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose and Satan Israel of Sacramento. 

Two-time All-MBA center Johnny Bananas of Oklahoma City will be hanging it up and two All-MBA players from last season, two-time league-leading scorer, guard Itstha Bishop of Philadelphia and forward Phillip Mianus of Los Angeles.

Although two Dave teams (young Charleston and Gillette) escaped retirements completely, the number of retirees and starters were equal for both owners.

Dave--6 retirees, 3 starters

Tyler--6 retires, 3 starters

Six teams lost one starter each and no team lost multiple starters.

Season 58 Featured Game 4...Dallas at Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA 76, DALLAS 75

BAD KARMA TOSS WINS IT FOR PHOBIA

PHILADELPHIA -- Dallas guard Karma Chameleon missed what would have been a game-tying free throw with no time on the clock and the home team Philadelphia Phobia remained unbeaten and atop the East Division standings at 4-0.

The loss keeps the six-time defending champion Demons in third place at 2-2.

The nip and tuck game was the third straight barn-burner on the MBA schedule decided by 1 or 2 points.

Chameleon, aquired in an off-season trade with Sacramento, came off the bench for the fouled out Mini Carfartt, who was in foul trouble the entire contest. Chameleon hit a medium jump shot and was fouled at the horn to put the Demons within a point of Philadelphia...but he missed the free throw. 

The game was worthy of FEATURED GAME status, as neither team was ever able to gain more than an 8 point advantage throughout. That desperation full court shot at the half by Blob Dylan of Philly sure came in handy for the Phobia.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Dallas...9...5...3...6   Total=23

Philly...2...0...0...8    Total=10

POINTS PREVENTED LEADERS

1. Poop-Rupiah 3000, Dallas 10 

2. Blob Dylan, Philadelphia 6

3. Juzan Djinn, Dallas 5

PLAYER OF THE GAME

39 GVP...He once spent an entire season in the cut pile, but "THE PHAROAH" TUT ANKHAMUN slowly worked his way into sticking with a team and giving good time units off the bench before finally being given a chance this season (his fifth) to start in the MBA. And as the point guard for the still undefeated Philadelphia Phobia, the 6-footer has proven his value as a team leader, capturing his second POG in four games. Ankhamun and his 19 first-half points pretty much kept Philadelphia in the game before his teammates began contributing in the third quarter and beyond. In this important showdown he scored a game-high 29 points, going 11 for 21, potting 4 of 7 3-point shots and sinking 3 of 4 from the foul line. Additionally, he led his team with 6 rebounds and posted a game-high 3 assists, adding 1 steal before fouling out with 16 ticks left. He's now averaging 18.3 points per game and stands a solid chance of making his first All Star Game appearance. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

31 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...24 points (3 treys)...4 rebounds...2 assists...1 blocked shot...5 points prevented

25 GVP...Dallas forward Venial Sinn...11 points (3 slams)...10 rebounds...2 blocks...2 assists.

20 GVP...Philadelphia center Blob Dylan...13 points...3 rebounds...2 blocks...2 assists...6 points prevented.

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………4-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..2-1

DALLAS…………………2-2

MILWAUKEE………..1-3

CHARLESTON……….1-3

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….3-0

SACRAMENTO… 2-1

SEATTLE………….1-2

GILLETTE…………1-2

SAN JOSE…………0-3

NEXT UP: Win-less San Jose missing their Hall of Fame center, at Sacramento. Should be a win for the R-Dogs, but you never know in the MBA.

Season 58 Featured Game...Sacramento at Seattle...plus bonus

SACRAMENTO 80, SEATTLE 66

MUNCHERS EATS UP STAMPEDE

SEATTLE -- The Sacramento River Dogs (now 2-1) scored a major early-season road win behind the 31-point

performance of point guard Rabbit Munchers, taking down the Seattle Stampede (now 1-2) 80-66.

It was the best game of the fourth-year guard's career, giving Sacramento fans hope that the long-distance gunner could lead them to a playoff spot after two consecutive last-place finishes. 

Meanwhile, Seattle, one of the preseason favorites to win the West, has now lost two in a rowd. And things don't get any easier for the Stampede as they host unbeaten Los Angeles in their next contest.

This game was nip and tuck until the fourth quarter, with Sacramento leading 57-54 arfter three. The River Dogs then left the Stampede in the dust, out-scoring them 23-12 for the victory. 

In its two back-to-back losses, Seattle has failed to reach 70 points.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

34 GVP...This might, indeed be the breakout season for Sacramento's fourth-year guard RABBIT MUNCHERS, who improved his 3-point shot in the off-season and saw it pay dividends in this big victory against Seattle. The 6-3 Munchers drilled 7 of 9 from beyond the arc, going 11 for 19 from the floor in a career-best 31-point performance. He added 2 for 2 from the charity stripe, 1 rebound, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot. He did all that despite being guarded by a fine defender in Ehhy Table of Seattle. Munchers started the season slowly but in the last two games has picked up the pace for 18 and 31 point efforts. He's got R-Dog fans dreaming again.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

25 GVP...Seattle power forward Eric A. Crocidale...16 points (6 slams)...5 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal...1 block

23 GVP...Seattle small forward J.J. "Jake" Pickle...15 points...5 rebounds...2 assists...1 block.

22 GVP...Sacramento two guard Bellybutton Inquisition...16 points...5 assists...1 rebound.

22 GVP...Seattle point guard Ehhy Table...16 points...4 rebounds...2 assists.

20 GVP...Seattle two guard Hilbee "the Skinny German" Juggleboy...13 points...4 blocked shots...2 assists...1 rebound.

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………1-0

DALLAS…………………1-1

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-1

CHARLESTON……….1-1

MILWAUKEE………..0-1

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….2-0

SACRAMENTO… 2-1

GILLETTE…………1-1

SEATTLE………….1-2

SAN JOSE…………0-2

NEXT UP:  First-place, unbeaten Los Angeles at last-place, win-less San Jose, with the Amigos missing Hall of Fame center Chochky Galumpkus. Slaughter rule game expected.

BONUS

ALL TIME TRIPLE-DOUBLE LEADERS

1. Great Gruncle Terry…17 (including one quadruple double)

2. Jimsy Redfern…16 (including one quadruple double)

3. Tom “the Bomb” Kondla…11 (including the only triple-double season ever)

3. Chip “the Crip” Battoe…11

5. Marcus Pettis…9

5. Beezow Bop-Bop…9

7. Max Payne…8

7. Juzan Djinn…8 (active)

9.  Shucks Oyster…7

9. J.D. Jedreat…7 (including one quadruple double)

9. Tug Hershorts…7

9. Diss Reflexia…7

9. Wawa Wewa…7

 

ACTIVE TRIPLE DOUBLE LEADERS

1. Juzan Djinn…8

2, Ehhy Table…5

2. Vicious Hick…5

4. Leonard Pinth-Garnel…4

5. Hilbee Juggleboy…3

5. Poop-Rupiah 3000…3