Season 59 Preview

 THE WEST...Seattle looks like the class of the league and L.A. a solid bet for second.

1st (unanimous)--SEATTLE STAMPEDE (4th last season at 4-6)...Talented, deep roster is the favorite to win it all under rookie head coach Briscoe Darling. The key was adding two-time All-MBA center Poop-Rupiah 3000, a major upgrade over Hooza Goodboi in the pivot. Add forwards Erik A. Crocidale and J.J. "Jake" Pickle and you have an extrordinary front line. Ehhy Table and Sleepy Mel A. Tonin are solid guards. Adding veteran forward Dark Urine gives capable back-up at all three positions. First title since the only one in Season 37?

2nd(unanimous)--LOS ANGELES BIG ONE (1st last season at 8-2)...Lost Hall of Fame guard Vicious Hick but got the prize rookie Braddah Wayne to replace him. Pinky Toe moves to the point for a still-potent back court duo. It's imperative for oft-injured power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho to stay healthy and for defensive-minded Big Blue Bottle to play a solid small forward. Except for guard Donny DuPons, bench is weak.

3rd Dave, 4th Tyler--SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS (2nd last season at 7-3)...Jack "Guzzler" Masterson must replace retired star Satan Israel in otherwise unchanged lineup. R-Dogs will be tested right out of the gate in the opener against the team they have to beat out for playoffs, Los Angeles. Rabbit Munchers needs to be All-MBA.

4th Dave, 3rd Tyler--GILLETTE HUMPS (3rd last season at 4-6)...Star guard Maboroshi No Hotcake and center Brother Jasper will both score. But 5-7 rookie guard Officer Poundcake plays no D, and who starts at forward with Zach Zigler?

Last (unanimous)--SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS (Last last season at 2-8)...Added promising forward Waialua Blobtop to ancient lineup.

THE EAST...Playoff picks are surprisingly unanimous, with defending champs dropping down. Last-minute trade could be key for Oklahoma City.

1st Dave, 2nd Tyler--DALLAS DEMONS (2nd last season8-2)...Surprisingly the top pick in the East despite losing All-MBA center Poop-Rupiah 3000. The roster appears less talented than last season, but they still have Hall of Famer Juzan Djinn and Mini Carfartt at guards to lead the way. Djinn, in 10th season, and coming off best scoring campaign, will have to shine brighter than ever. Forwards Nick Kenpoop and Venial Sinn are solid, if not stars. Veteran St. Ides takes over in the pivot.

1st Tyler, 2nd Dave-- OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS (3rd last season at 4-6) ...Replaced half the roster since last season, adding promising rookie guard Shelly Bogturtle and Harry "Big Stink" Merdaio at center to the starting lineup. The rental trade of Merdaio is huge for the Lariats, especially if last season's Rookie of the Year Bonafazio Spegatini matches or exceeds last season's production. Can Oklahoma City beat out Philly and Milwaukee for playoffs?

3rd Dave, 4th Tyler PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA (MBA champs last season at 9-1)...Retirement of leading scorer Itstha Bishop at two guard leaves gaping hole for champs who still have two of the league's best players in last season's MVP Leonard Pinth Garnel at forward and Blob Dylan at center.

4th (D picked them last, T picked them 3rd) MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS (last at 1-9 last season)... Guard combo of Hall of Famer Vicious Hick and Famichiki Whiskey will be exciging.

Last Tyler, 4th Dave CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS (4th last season at 3-7)...Not much hope.

The only TRADE this season....Oklahoma City traded its first pick (protected) in next season's draft to Philly for a one-season rental of their backup center Harry Merdaio, who returns to Philly after this season assuming he does not retire. Protected pick means that if the Oklahoma City first pick is a prime pick, Philly then gets Oklahoma City's second pick.

ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS

Dave

Guard...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles

Guard...Braddah Wayne, Los Angeles

Center...Poop-Rupiah 3000, Seattle

Forward...Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia

Forward...J.J. "Jake" Pickle, Seattle

Tyler

Guard...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles

Guard...Maboroshi No Hotcake, Gillette

Center...Poop-Rupiah 3000, Seattle

Forward...Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia

Forward...Erik A. Crocidale, Seattle

LEAGUE MVP...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles (unanimous)

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

Dave--Braddah Wayne, Los Angeles guard

Tyler--Shelly Bogturtle, Oklahoma City guard

NEXT UP: The opening game of Season 59...Sacramento at Los Angeles...some might say a must win right out of the gate for the River Dogs.

Season 59 Improvements/Regressions

 IMPACTFUL IMPROVEMENTS IN THE CUT PILE

-- Third-year 6-5 forward COUNT SACKULA is the only real player worth reporting on in the cut pile. Already a defensive specialist against the shot, Sackula got better against the pass (+2) and the run(+2) while adding a good on 9 down low. His only miss down low is now on 5.

IMPACTFUL IMPROVEMENTS

-- Fourth-year 6-10 Charleston forward BIG BEN PETTIS...improved on both offensive rebounding (15) and defensive rebounding (10) which will likely earn him a starting spot on the Mountaineers.

-- Third-year 6-2 Seattle shooting guard "SLEEPY" MEL A. TONIN...went from a 6 passer to a 7 passer.

--Third-year 6-6 Seattle forward J.J. "JAKE" PICKLE...improved his dribbling to a 6 and defense against the dribble twice to a 3.

-- Second-year 6-5 Oklahoma City shooting guard BONAFAZIO SPEGATINI, last season's Rookie of the Year and top Lariats' scorer at 18 ppg, will take more medium jump shots as he improved his tendency to shoot in that area to a 4-6. That's huge for one of the top medium shots in the game.

-- Fourth-year 6-2 Gillette point guard MABOROSHI NO HOTCAKE, one of the MBA's top 3-point shooters became a 7 dribbler and filled in "the box" in his 3-point column, getting a good on 7. He now has goods on 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 11 (a swish).

--Sixth-year 6-8 Dallas forward VENIAL SINN...improved by one on both defensive boards (14) and offensive board (9) while upping his speed from slow to medium.

-- Sixth-year 6-8 Sacramento forward MORDLE SINN, twin brother of the above-mentioned Venial Sinn...also improved in both of his rebounding areas...he's a 13 on defensive boards and 5 on offensive boards. But his big improvement was filling in "the box" on his 3-point shot, which he has a 5-6 tendency to take and has made at over a 50 percent clip the past three seasons.

-- Third-year 6-9 Sacramento power forward JACK "GUZZLER" MASTERSON improved his tendency to take short jump shots (his best zone) while adding to his offensive rebounding (now a 9) and improving his free throwing.

-- Fourth-year 7-1 Los Angeles center OTZI "THE FROZEN HUNTER" BOLZANO...is sure to get more steals after improving his ability against the dribble from a 2 to a 4. Also upped his speed from medium to fast.

-- Seventh-year 6-11 Philadelphia center BLOB DYLAN, already a defensive maestro, improved against the pass to a 3 while upping his passing rating from a 5 to a 6 after completing his best assist season last campaign.

REGRESSIONS WORTH NOTING

-- 13th-year 5-11 San Jose point guard JOE MOMSAWHORE loses his only positive move against the shot (a deny on 11) and goes from a 1 to a 0 against the pass. Plus, he's now slow.

-- 19th-year 6-8 San Jose forward AL A. ORDEN gets worse in passing (now a 5), offensive rebounding (now a 6) and against the dribble (now a 1).

-- 10th-year6-2 Dallas Hall of Fame guard JUZAN DJINN decreased his tendency to shoot in the medium zone (where he is excellent), lost a dribbling point (now a 6) sand is now a 0 against the dribble. Having said that, this decline in ability still leaves him with one of the best cards in the game.

Season 59 MBA Draft

 TYLER TEAMS DOMINATE

At the risk of sounding like a sour grapes assessment, Tyler's teams once again defied the odds and crushed Dave teams in this very talented MBA draft. 

There were five franchise-changing players in the draft, and Dave teams were unable to claim even one of them. 

-- Juzan Djinn, arguably the greatest player the league has ever produced, went back to the Dallas franchise. This is the second time Djinn has been a free agent draft pick and has returned to the Demons. It is all the more unbelievable because it was the only pick Dallas had...a number 9 random pick.

-- All-MBA guard Pinky Toe, last season's league scoring leader, returned to his Los Angeles team. Toe was out there for the taking until the 18th pick, a random pick, when The Big One finally re-claimed him.

-- Hall of Fame guard Vicious Hick was claimed by Milwaukee with the 11th overall pick (the third prime pick). 

-- The top rookie prospect, multi-talented guard Braddah Wayne, went to Los Angeles with the 8th overall pick (the second prime pick), giving L.A. a potent one-two punch at guard again after two seasons of Pinky Toe and Vicious Hick.

-- All-MBA center Poop-Rupiah 3000 went unclaimed until the 24th pick (there were 26 picks total), when he went randomly to Seattle, seemingly setting the Stampede up for a serious championship run.

He was one of three players left in the draft, with Seattle getting the first random pick and Dave teams lined up for the next two in a row. That meant that if 3000 did not go randomly to Seattle, he would have to go to either Oklahoma City or Gillette. So the odds were seemingly with the Dave teams. Well...bang...Seatle landed him

Dave teams, shut out totally as far as the top draftees are concerned, managed to add some talent to their squads, but paled in comparison to the selections described above. For example, Dave teams got what might be considered the next five best players after the top five, and in a very talented draft, that was some consolation.

Bad luck plagued Dave teams throughout. One of the worst examples was Sacramento, which was the only team in the draft to hold two prime picks, coming away with two bottom-of-the-barrel rookies, guard Penile Blood and forward Gokie Throat. 

Random selections for Dave teams failed to land any of the top five players, and the prime picks (determined by rolling a 1 or 6 once a player is named by the team doing the drafting) averaged 4.7 rolls of the dice for Dave teams compared to 3.5 rolls for Tyler teams.

RATING THE DRAFT BY TEAMS

Milwaukee...B+

Added superstar Hick, who will team with Famichiki Whiskey for a superb scoring guard duo. Also added Joey "Joe Joe" Shamadu, Jr. as an excellent backup guard.

San Jose...C+

Nabbed top rookie forward Waialua Blobtop to its crumbling, ancient roster.

Charleston ... C-

No apparent starters added, but rookie center Jizz Drizzler gives Mountaineers some flexibility as a defensive stopper who could surprise as a scorer. Their first pick, rookie center Curtis E. Flush is solid, but redundant in this instance.

Seattle...A

Big upgrade at the center position with All-MBA Poop-Rupiah 3000 unseating Hooza Goodboi. Veteran forward Dark Urine and rookie forward Ryan Burner will see action due to starters Erik A. Crocidale and J.J. Pickle's tendency to foul.

Oklahoma City...B

Rookie guards Shelly Bogturtle and Super Daddy Pancakes will likely push league steals leader Oblio Assbag to the back of the rotation. 7-1 rookie center Bobby "the Squirrel" Diggenbury is the projected starter by default, but lacks any virtues besides being an animal on the boards.

Gillette...C

The draft got them the smallest player in league history, 5-7 guard Officer Poundcake, who will likely replace Seeyalater Scronto in the starting lineup. Poundcake can pass and shoot but plays no defense and will get very few boards.

Sacramento...C+

None of their three picks are projected starters, but rookie guard Bygones B. Bygones looks like a very capable backup when Rabbit Munchers and Bellybutton Inquisition have to sit. They needed some help in the front court and got none.

Los Angeles ...A+

You can't get much better in a draft when your only two picks both have Hall of Fame potential. Guard Pinky Toe led the league in scoring and returned to the team while rookie guard Braddah Wayne, a 6-7 gem, was the prize of the rookies. 

Dallas...A

Amazingly, the Demons were again able to lure the great Juzan Djinn back into the fold for the second time. And they did so with their only pick; a random one.

Philadelphia...C

Neither of the forwards they picked with their two picks will crack the starting lineup for the champs. The Phobia needed to replace top scorer Itstha Bishop at guard, but didn't.

NEXT UP: Player improvements and regressions.

Season 59 Rookie Report

 This is going to be a memorable rookie class in the MBA, with all kinds of talent and size at every position. 

You want height? There are three guards 6-6 or better, a 6-10 forward and a 7-1 Squirrel. 

You want a dwarf? Officer Poundcake is the smallest player ever made.And he's the best passer in the draft.

Half of the rookie class is projected to make a positive impact on whatever team drafts them. And in 6-7 guard Braddah Wayne, you have a player who teams will be tempted to go after first with their prime picks. 

Why is that so outrageous? Because among the free agents in the draft are three of the five First Team All-MBA players, including two Hall of Fame players (Juzan Djinn and Vicious Hick) and two more on the verge of the Hall (Pinky Toe and Poop-Rupiah 3000). And Djinn is already tied for the most honored player ever with Curly Hogbottom.)

There are less players (26) in the draft than usual this coming season, but in rookies and free agents, the talent is among the best ever.

The ratings are as follows with 10 being the maximum score:

GUARDS

6-7 Braddah Wayne..10 

5-11 Shelly Bogturtle 8

6-7 Bygones B. Bygones 7 1/2

6-2 Super Daddy Pancakes 7 1/2 

5-7 Officer Poundcake 6 (this is the smallest player ever in MBA history)

6-1 Jimmy "the Chipmunk" Hoover 5 1/2

6-6 Penile Blood 4

FORWARDS

6-10 Waialua Blobtop 10

6-9 Ryan "Dungeon Master" Burner 7

6-7 Gokie Throat 6

6-9 Ben Benjanto 4

6-7 Bigbad Wolf 3 1/2

6-8 Whitey Coathair 3

CENTERS

6-8 Jizz Drizzler 9 1/2

6-9 Curtis E. Flush 7 1/2

7-1 Bobby "the Squirrel" Diggenbury 5 1/2

ROOKIES ROUT REJECTS

As expected, the talented rookies of Season 59 laid waste to the lowly rejects of the cut pile, thrashing them 81-56 in a game that was barely contested.

Total points prevented 

Rookies...7

Cut Pile Guys...8

Individual points prevented leaders

1. Count Sackula, Cut Pile...8 

2. Jizz Drizzler, Rookies...4

3. Shelly Bogturtle...3

PLAYER OF THE GAME

39 GVP...The most highly rated rookie did not disappoint in his MBA tabletop debut. 6-7 guard BRADDAH WAYNE started the game with a 7 for 7, 15-point first quarter that included a trey, then went on to lead everyone in scoring with a 28-point performance. The smooth and lanky Wayne was 12 for 17 from the floor (2 for 4 from deep) while handing out 3 assists and snagging 5 rebounds. He also showed off his defensive prowess that has MBA scouts drooling, swatting away 3 in the blocked shots department. His only downside was the 2 for 6 free throwing, but we'll chalk that up to a fluke. The guy guarding him, Swifty Twitch, went back to the shadow realm of the Cut Pile doubting his own existence.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

32 GVP...Rookie guard Shelly Bogturtle...25 points (4 treys)...4 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal.

21 GVP...Cut Pile center Juan Fellswoop...15 points...4 rebounds...1 assist...1 steal.

20 GVP...Rookie forward Ryan "Dungeon Master" Burner...12 points...7 rebounds...1 assist.

NEXT UP: The Season 59 MBA Draft

Season 59 Free Agents

 Huge Talent in Free Agents

  The free agent class of Season 59, boasting such stellar stars as Juzan Djinn, Vicious Hick, Pinky Toe and Poop-Rupiah 3000, has already established this coming draft as potentially game-changing for any or all franchises...and that's without even considering the rookie additions to the league.

  The aforementioned four players include Hall of Famers Djinn and Hick, with the former tied for the number 1 overall spot in MBA history. Meanwhile Toe and 3000 are both well on their way to Hall of Fame status.

  Three of those Big Four (Hick being the exception) were first team All-MBA last season.

 Both Dallas and Los Angeles were hit hardest by free agency, with each team losing their top two players.

 Hick and Toe were the main men on Los Angeles these past two seasons, but their potent abilities fell short of the championship, netting The Big One two playoff berths but zero post-season wins.

  Dallas, with free agents Djinn and 3000, could potentially be losing their best two players. We say potentially because Djinn was a free agent a few seasons back, only to return to the Demons. Both Djinn and 3000 are coming off  All-MBA seasons.

  Ten players total will be joining the draft as free agents. with 7 of the 10 being starters.

  Four teams...San Jose, Seattle, Sacramento and the champs from Philadelphia escaped free agency unscathed. All but San Jose are sitting in excellent position as the draft approaches.

 Milwaukee and Gillette both lost two players to free agency, with the Greyhounds losing starting guard Joey "Joe-Joe" Shamadu, Jr. and center Krackey Krakatoa and Gillette losing starting forward Dark Urine and veteran backup guard Hurricane Furrwizard.

  Charleston and Oklahoma City both lost one bench player each, so both are primed to improve their fourtunes.

  The addition of 16 rookies makes for a 26-player draft, meaning each team will get two players in the draft, with all franchises except for the four playoff teams getting a third pick. Dallas, however, will be getting just one pick, since their trade with Sacramento gives the River Dogs the Demons' lone prime pick. (Meaning the R-Dogs are the only team in the draft with 4 picks). 

  Tyler teams took the biggest hit in free agency, losing 6 players, all starters, and the four best free agents.

   Dave teams lost four players, with just one starter.

JUST ONE COACHING CHANGE

  The last-place Milwaukee Greyhounds are the only team making a coaching change as we head into Season 59. They will replace coach Pietro Destroyer with first-time head coach Bisquero Cutoff.

  In his three seasons at the helm, Destroyer compied an 11-19 overall record (13-22 including the playoffs). He guided the Greyhounds to a 6-4, second-place finish in his initial campaign, which was on the heels of three consecutive last-place finishes. In that Season 56 playoff run, Milwaukee went all the way to Game Five in the Finals before finally bowing to the champs from Dallas.

  Cutoff, primarily known as a defensive-minded, shot-blocking forward, played 10 seasons in the MBA, making four All Star Games and starting for the Season 28 championship Dallas team. He played for Charleston, Milwaukee, Dallas and Sacramento before retiring.

  Next up...the making of the rookies. 

 

Some Franchise vs. Franchise updates

 

FRANCHISE VS FRANCHISE

Seattle does not have a winning record against any team…in fact, they are the only team to have a losing record against Kansas City/Gillette.

Dallas has a winning record against every team with the exception of Philadelphia

Philadelphia has a winning record against every team with the exception of Milwaukee, where the franchises are tied

Milwaukee has a winning record against everyone except Oklahoma City and Dallas; plus, they are even with Philadelphia

MBA All-Time Playoff Leaders

 Career Playoff

Dallas Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn is now in second place all time for playoff points scored and fourth all time in playoff games played...as follows:

ALL TIME PLAYOFF POINTS LEADERS

1. Dan Mann...768

2. Juzan Djinn...731 (still active)

3. Uncle Bob Masterson...650

4. Mamadou Zongo...599

4. Sagittal Occlusal...599

6. Max Payne...597

7. Boone Doggle...579

8. Naf Naf...571

9. Beezow Bop-Bop... 530

10. Doc Watson...511

ALL TIME MOST PLAYOFF GAMES PLAYED

1. Max Payne...51

2. Ed Masterson...49

2. Tug Hershorts...49

4. Raisin Sport...44

5. Juzan Djinn...43 (still active)

5. Cam Bodia...43

7. Mamadou Zongo...42

8. Boone Doggle...41

8. Funsy VanSlochum...41

10. Slats Southpaw...40

10. Al A. Orden...40 (still active)

TOP POINTS PER GAME IN PLAYOFFS (does not include active players with the exception of Djinn)

1. Naf Naf...24.8

2. Dan Mann...20.8

3. Marshall Stax...18.9

4. Jesse Shershot...18.7

5. Ching-Chung Chong...18.7

6. Cappy Gambol...18.1

7. Uncle Bob Masterson...17.6

8. Colquitt Croix...17.4

9. Juzan Djinn...17.0 (active)

9. Doc Watson...17.0

Dentist...16.9

Two-Tones...16.8

Hogbottom...16.8

Jones...16.6

Battoe...16.5 

Lennex...16.3

Paige...16.1

Reed...16.1

Occlusal...15.4

Zoop...15.4

Cockaroo...15.1

Pitbull...15.0

Duran...15.0

Dripp...14.9

T. K. Masterson...14.7

Fiddy...14.5

Gannon...14.4

Pal...14.4

Zongo ...14.3

Reflexia...14.3

Nod...14.2

Rustler...14.2

Doggle...14.1

Luwak...14.0

Vandalay...13.9

Masterfalcon...13.9

Bop-Bop...13.7

Marzano...13.6

Flatch ...13.5

Fresh...13.5

Gargantuan...13.4

Terry...13.3

Chamberlain...13.1

Dickus...13.0

Oyster...13.0

Gumm...13.0

Bakshi...12.8

Jell-o...12.8

Brinkman...12.2

Indice...12.2

Spikie...12.0

Bodia...11.8

DoMato...11.8

Payne...11.7

Kondla ...11.7

Smearz...11.1

Mudcat...10.9

Sport...10.8

Clutch...10.6

Hershorts...8.7

Slamjam...8.1

Mon-Mon...5.7

Wright...7.3

Season 58...Their place in the MBA Universe...retirees take their places of rest

 

Season 58 Post-Season Summary

BACK ON TOP

--Philadelphia becomes the 18th team to win the MBA title after leading the league in defense and the first since Dallas in Season 52. Nineteen teams have won the title after leading the league in offense.

PLAYOFF MVP 

-- Juzan Djinn captures his unprecedented fourth Playoff MVP award, despite playing for the losing team in the Finals. He is the 17th player in history to do so. He moves past Cappy Gambol and Stu Nod, with 3 each.

-- This honor ties him with Curly Hogbottom for the top spot on the MBA pyramid...and his career continues next season.

-- His 6 overall MVP honors ranks third all time, tied with Cappy Gambol and trailing only Naf Naf and Chip Battoe, who finished with 7 each.

--He moves past Chip Battoe as the greatest player in the history of the Dallas franchise.

NEWEST HALL OF FAMER

-- Luwak becomes the 65th member of the MBA Hall of Fame -- elected by the Veterans Committee

-- He was a member of the most spectacular rookie class ever assembled in Season 52, when he and fellow teammates Biggus Dickus and Pete "the Steakman" Marzano, all future Hall of Famers, all ended up on the Dallas Demons via the draft and in Marzano's case, a trade that sent Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan to Sacramento. Luwak emerged as Rookie of the Year that season, which saw "the Whiz Kids" begin their string of a record six consecutive championships. He led his team in scoring his rookie year, followed by his All-MBA season in Season 53 in which he led the league in scoring. 

-- He lost his starting job to Hall of Fame guard Vicious Hick in his third season, was traded in an unprecedented deal to Charleston where he was a main man on a team that challenged Dallas for championships but came up short each time. 

-- His short career still places him 52nd of the 875 players ever to suit up for the MBA. That's roughly the upper 6 percent of all players ever made.

NEXT UP: Their place in the MBA Universe ... retirees put to rest

 

Season 58 MBA Finals Game 5 Title Contest...Dallas at Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA 63, DALLAS 52

PHOBIA RECLAIMS THE THRONE

PHILADELPHIA -- Using its league-leading defense to all of its smothering capability, the Philadelphia Phobia snuffed out the six-time-defending champion Dallas Demons 63-52 to capture the Season 58 title, 63-52.

The franchise-leading 17th championship in MBA history put an end to Philadelphia's longest championship drought...14 seasons. 

This title-winning Game 5 effort was the best defensive showing in the playoffs by the Phobia, as they held the league's No. 1 offense to a playoff-low 52 points and just 41.7 percent shooting. That included an 0 for 10 stat line for Dallas from beyond the 3-point line. 

Additionally, the new champions tied a team rebounding record for a single playoff game set by three other teams: Houston in Season 9 and Season 36, and Dallas in Season 52.

The front line of Philadelphia...Blob Dylan, Philibuck Davia and Leonard Pinth Garnel all dominated their respective opponents.

Dallas was somewhat within striking distance, down 7 going into the final quarter, but the Phobia strangled any hope for the Demons by starting the stanza with a 10-0 run. Halfway through the last frame the new champs held a 17-point lead and coasted home with number 17 secure in hand.

All five Finals games were won by the home team.

Meanwhile, let's acknowledge the amazing six-season run at the top of the heap by Dallas, who died defending their crown in the Finals.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

32 GVP...The MBA's regular season MVP, LEONARD PINTH GARNEL, waited until the final game of the playoffs to unleash his first post-season POG performance. The 6-10 Garnel put all of his assets on display in this winning effort, leading everyone in six categories: rebounding (13), steals (3), assists (4), blocked shots (4), points prevented (6) and turnovers caused (5). So, despite scoring just 8 points on 4 of 7 shooting, Garnel was easily the single-most dominant force in the game. The league's top rebounder came right out of the gate with 7 first-quarter rebounds, falling just one rebound short of Hall of Famer Raisin Sport's Season 9 playoff record of 14 for the game. He was magnifico at the exact right time.

Other 20-plus GVP performers (none from Dallas)

25 GVP...Philadelphia power forward Philibuck Davia...16 points (3 slams)....7 rebounds...2 assists

23 GVP...Philadelphia's retiring shooting guard ITSTHA BISHOP in his final game...18 points...4 rebounds...1 assist.

23 GVP...Philadelphia center Blob Dylan...15 points...5 rebounds...3 blocked shots.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Dallas...2...2...6...3  Total=13

Philly....6...0...4...4  Total=14

POINTS PREVENTED LEADERS

1. Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia 6

1. Poop-Rupiah 3000, Dallas 6

TEAM TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTER

Dallas...2...2...2...0  Total=6

Philly....0...0...3...3  Total-6

TURNOVERS CAUSED LEADERS

1. Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia 5

2. Nick Kenpoop, Dallas 2

2. Venial Sinn, Dallas 2

NEXT UP: Playoff stats leaders and the announcement of the Playoff MVP.

The MBA Pyramid of Greatness as it currently stands

NEXT UP: THE GAME 5 CHAMPIONSHIP CONTEST...PROBABLY MONDAY OR TUESDAY

 

Season 58 Finals...Game 4...Philadelphia at Dallas

DALLAS 83, PHILADELPHIA 67 (Slaughter Rule Enforced) Series tied 2-2

DEMONS FIGHT BACK

DALLAS -- Showing the resilience of a champion, the Dallas Demons sent this Finals to a showdown Game 5 with a Slaughter Rule 83-67 thumping of the visiting Philadelphia Phobia.

On the verge of giving up the MBA title they have held for six straight seasons, the Demons defended their home court with a fury, leading from start to finish. 

Philadelphia mounted a push in the fourth quarter, cutting a 15-point lead to 6, but Dallas point guard Mini Carfartt ended the Phobia's hopes by delivering three consecutive 3-point bombs.

The game was not without incident, as Philly coach Stu Nod was hit with a technical foul in the first quarter as Dallas got off to a big lead. Then in the second quarter Venial Sinn of Dallas and Itstha Bishop of Philadelphia got into a fight in which both drew technicals, but Sinn was ejected from the game. That meant Dallas rookie Fashion Boy Vuitton was pressed into action for more than half of the game. He ended up scoring 9 points and tying for game-high in assists with 4.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

36 GVP...It became apparent early that the greatest Demon of all time, JUZAN DJINN, was not going to let his team yield its title on its home court. The Hall of Fame two guard rose to the occasion with his first POG of the Finals and second of the playoffs, following his 20-point Game 3 performance with a 21-point effort in Game 4. He delivered the 9th triple-double of his career and his first since the Season 56 playoffs, blocking a game-high 8 shots and pulling down 5 boards while adding a pair of assists. Djinn was 7 for 14 from the floor, connecting on 3 of 7 from deep and going 4 for 4 from the foul line. He is very much in the running to snag a record fourth Playoff MVP honor. He's currently averaging 15.7 points per game in the playoffs with 19 blocked shots.

Other 20-plus GVP performerws

33 GVP...Dallas point guard Mini Carfartt...29 points (3 killer treys)...2 rebounds...2 assists.

26 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Tut Ankhamun...22 points (3 treys)...4 assists.

24 GVP...Philadelphia's retiring shooting guard Itstha Bishop...17 points...6 rebounds...1 assist.

22 GVP...Dallas center Poop-Rupiah 3000...10 points (3slams)...8 rebounds...3 blocked shots...1 assist.

NEXT UP: The Game 5 decider. The second season in a row the Finals have gone the distance. In this one, the home team has won every game. Philadelphia is the home team.

ALL OF THE PAST PLAYOFF MVPS

 

Season 58 Finals Game 3...Dallas at Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA 76, DALLAS 55 (Slaughter Rule Enforced) Philly leads series 2-1

CHAMPS ON RUBBER LEGS

PHILADELPHIA -- The Philadelphia Phobia are one game away from their 17th MBA championship and first in 15 seasons after using their smothering defense to defeat the six-time defending titlists from Dallas, 76-55.

After winning Game 2 with a 77-point output and starting this game with a 22-point first-quarter, the Demons looked like they may have solved the league's top defense. But in the three quarters that followed, the Phobia allowed Dallas just 12, 11 and 10 points as they ratcheted the defensive pressure. When the smoke cleared, Philly had flustered their worthy opponent into 38.2 percent shooting and technically, a Slaughter Rule victory, achieved with 1 time unit remaining in the contest.

The two Dallas forwards who had combined for 42 points in the previous outing, were held to 14, while Philadelphia used a balanced offensive attack to slowly lower the boom.

The home team carried a 10-point lead going into the final quarter, then pulled away with a 9-0 run to start the fourth, set off by a 3-point bomb by guard Tut Ankhamum on the first time unit. 

The lone bright spot for Dallas was the play of Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn, who led all scorers with 20 points.

The one hope Dallas can cling to is that the home team has won every game in the Finals thus far, with the next contest in The Big D.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

29 GVP...For the second game in a row, a Philadelphia veteran rose up to record the first triple-double of their career. This time it was sixth-year center BLOB DYLAN turning the trickwith a 16-point, 8-rebound, 5-block performance that saw him dominate this season's All-MBA pivot, Poop-Rupiah 3000.  

With this performance, his second POG of the playoffs, Dylan's hat is in the ring for Playoff MVP. The 6-11 center was shut out on the boards in the previous game, but rallied to grab a game-high (tied) 8 boards in this victory. He was 8 for 12 from the floor with a slam, but it was his defense that set the tone as he blocked a game-high 5 shots, holding 3000 to 4 of 12 shooting and just 8 points.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

25 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn...20 points (4 treys)...2 rebounds...2 assists...1 block

24 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Tut "the Pharoah" Ankhamun...19 points (3 treys)...5 assists.

24 GVP...Philadelphia's MVP forward Leonard Pinth Garnel...9 points...8 rebounds...4 assists...2 blocks...1 steal.

23 GVP...Philadelphia power forward Philibuck Davia...16 points...6 rebounds...1 assist. 

NEXT UP: The Finals return to Dallas, where the Demons look to force a Game 5.

A LOOK BACK

OTHER TWO TIMES THESE TEAMS MET IN FINALS…SEASONS 22 AND 23 (CALENDAR YEAR WAS 2007 AND 2008)

Season 22

Philadelphia won 3 games to 1

Playoff MVP was the great Curly Hogbottom of Philadelphia (20.5 ppg, 4.5 rpg, 8 blocks, 70.7 shooting pctg, 2 POGs

Philadelphia forward Cam Bodia earned Hall of Fame status

 

Season 23

Philadelphia wins 3 games to 1

Playoff MVP was Dallas Hall of Fame guard Joey Two Tones (19.2 ppg, 9 steals, 10 blocked shots, 78.6 percent from 3 with 11 made

Two-Tones made the Hall of Fame thanks to his MVP honor in his sixth and final season. He scored 25 points in his final game, an overtime loss.

Season 58 Finals...Game 2...Philadelphia at Dallas

DALLAS 77, PHILADELPHIA 72 (Series tied 1-1)

DALLAS PUTS BEST FOOT FORWARD(S)

DALLAS -- Led by forwards Nick Kenpoop and Venial Sinn, the six-time defending champion Demons gave Philadelphia notice that it would not be an easy task to wrest the MBA title from Dallas.In a game which was not as close as the final score might indicate, Dallas evened the series 1 to 1 with a 77-72 home court victory that broke Philadelphia's 7-game winning streak.

Discussing the Demons chances after Game 1, Tyler was of the opinion that Dallas forwards were not strong enough. Kenpoop and Sinn must have overheard the conversation.

Led by the two forwards under discussion, Dallas got off to a hot start and led 23-11 after the first quarter and increased that advantage to 41-27 at the half. At one point in the second quarter, the Demons led by 17, and the game appeared to be a rout. It didn't help Philly that their MBA MVP forward Leonard Pinth Garnel sat out much of the contest in foul trouble.

Philly, still suffering from Garnel's inability to contribute, managed to make things interesting in the second half, whittling the lead to five with plenty of time left in the contest (40 time units). But just as they did so, Garnel left the game with fouls with 38 ticks remaining.

Rebounding was a key in this game, with the victors out-doing the visitors 28-19. Center Blob Dylan of Philly was held rebound-less.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

37 GVP...Fifth-year Dallas forward VENIAL SINN surprised the hell out of everyone in Dallas by totally out-playing league MVP Leonard Pinth Garnel and earning his first POG of the campaign, regular or post-season. The 6-8 Sinn was a beast on the boards, pulling down a game-high 12 caroms while scoring a game-high 22 points, with 6 of his 10 field goals coming on rim-rattling slam dunks. He was 10 for 16 from the floor and 2 of 5 from the foul line, with 2 assists and a steal. After a fine regular season (his first as a starter), the twin brother of Sacramento forward Mordle Sinn came into this game struggling in the post-season, shooting just 37.5 percent with a 5 point per game average. He upped that scoring average to 9.5 with 5.5 rebounds per game. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

31 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...20 points (3 slams)...4 rebounds...3 steals...2 blocked shots...2 assists. 

26 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Tut "The Pharoah" Ankhamun...17 points (3 treys)...6 assists...3 rebounds.

26 GVP...Philadelphia's retiring shooting guard Itstha Bishop...first triple-double of career...15 points...6 assists...5 rebounds.

22 GVP...Philadelphia power forward Philibuck Davia...15 points (4 slams)...5 rebounds...1 assist...1 steal.

NEXT UP: The home team has defended its tabletop in both games and Philadelphia hopes this holds true as the team returns to The Slab of Brotherly Love for a ctucial Game 3.

Season 58 MBA Finals Game 1...Dallas at Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA 72, DALLAS 62

PHILLY SLAMS DOOR ON DALLAS COMEBACK

PHILADELPHIA -- The MBA's best defense stopped the league's top scoring team cold in the fourth quarter, holding the six-time-defending champion Dallas Demons to just 9 points in a huge 72-62 Game 1 Philadelphia victory to start the Season 58 Finals.

The visiting Demons, trailing and struggling to score for the entire first half, seemed to find their offense in the third quarter, scoring 20 points to take a 53-51 lead going into the last stanza before the Phobia turned their water all the way off.

That kind of defensive display has been present all season for Philly, who held opponents to just 65.3 points per game during the regular season and squashed Sacramento's output in the SemiFinals to 65 per contest. Dallas entered the Finals with an 8-game winning streak and the 11th best team scoring numbers of all time, but were treated just as rudely by Philadelphia, which extended its own win streak to 7 with this victory. 

Dallas' Hall of Fame guard, Juzan Djinn, had perhaps the roughest go of it offensively, scoring just 6 points on 2 of 9 shooting. 

MBA fans were treated to a battle royale at the center post, where two of the league's top pivots locked horns, both having brilliant games.

This was just the third time in history that these two franchises have met in the Finals. The other two times were way back in Seasons 22, with a repeat in Season 23...both won by Philadelphia.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

30 GVP...Dallas center POOP-RUPIAH 3000 was the prize of the Season 58 MBA draft, and is largely responsible for the Demons returning to the Finals despite the champs losing two Hall of Fame starters to retirement. Last season's Playoff MVP for Oklahoma City was fairly pedestian in the SemiFinals win against Los Angeles, but the All-MBA center rose to the occasion against the best defender in the MBA, Blob Dylan. The 6-9, fourth-year 3000 used 5 slam dunks on the way to a 16-point effort against Dylan, sparking the third-quarter rally that gave his club the lead. 3000 was 7 for 10 from the floor, 2 for 2 from the foul line, grabbed a game-high 9 boards, registered a game-high 2 thefts, assisted twice and blocked 1 shot.

Other 20-plus GVP perfomers

26 GVP...Philadelphia center Blob Dylan...19 points...4 rebounds...3 blocked shots.

25 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Tut Ankhamun...19 points...3 rebounds...3 assists.

23 GVP...Philadelphia's retiring shooting guard Itstha Bishop...14 points...5 rebounds...4 assists.

21 GVP...Dallas point guard Mini Carfartt...18 points...2 rebounds...1 assist.

21 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...14 points...5 rebounds...1 assist...1 steal.

NEXT UP: The teams travel to Dallas, where the champion Demons need a win on their home court to even up this best of 5 Finals.

Season 58 ... SemiFinals Game 2...Philadelphia at Sacramento

PHILADELPHIA 65, SACRAMENTO 64

PHOBIA 'D' SNUFFS OUT R-DOGS

SACRAMENTO -- Philadelphia's Itstha Bishop force-missed what would have been a game-winning 3-pointer by Sacramento's Bellybutton Inquisition on the final time unit, giving the visiting Phobia a 65-64 win and a ticket to the team's first Finals in eight seasons.

That play was fiitting, as the league's best defensive team all season held the River Dogs to a paltry 37.7 percent shooting. The suffocating D was at its best in the final 24 time units.Trailing by 5, Philadelphia proceeded to shut out the River Dogs the rest of the way when any kind of a River Dogs score could have wrapped up the game for the home team.

The winning bucket, delivered at the 2 time unit mark, came from an unlikely source, with Phobia substitute guard Whitey "White Boy" White hitting a clutch medium jumper. Sacramento had held the lead for the previous 42 time units up to that point, but never by more than the aforementioned 5.

The Philadelphia win sets up the Season 58 Finals between the two winningest MBA teams in history (Philly with 16 championships) and Dallas (with 11 titles, including the last 6 in a row...a record).

PLAYER OF THE GAME

29 GVP...Sacramento point guard RABBIT MUNCHERS came into the playoffs after earning the MBA's Most Improved Player honor and a berth on the Second Team All-MBA, finishing third in the league in scoring at 19.1 ppg. He did not disappoint in the playoffs, tying for the leading scorer in Game 1 and posting a game-high 23 points in this soul-wrenching defeat. He was 7 for 14 from the floor, potting 2 out of 4 from deep and going 7 for 11 from the foul line. He dominated his man Tut Ankhamun, causing him to foul out early in the fourth quarter. While playing tough defense all game long, the 6-3 Munchers hit the boards for 6 rebounds as well. He finished with a post-season average of 20.5 per game...high for the two-game series. With Spring about to burst on the scene, he now has time to be a menace to Phil and other gardeners across the Midwest.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

26 GVP...Retiring Sacramento power forward Satan Israel...18 points (3 slams)...8 rebounds.

25 GVP...Philadelphia small forward Leonard Pinth Garnel, the MBA's regular season MVP...8th triple-double of his career and fourth this season...13 points...6 rebounds...5 assists...1 steal.

20 GVP...Philadelphia's retiring shooting guard Itstha Bishop...17 points (3 treys)...2 rebounds...1 assist.

NEXT UP: Dallas at Philadelphia Game 1 of Finals

Season 58 Playoffs...SemiFinals Game 2...Los Angeles at Dallas

 

DALLAS 90, LOS ANGELES 77

DEMONS ELIMINATE L.A. AGAIN

DALLAS -- For the second season in a row, the 6-time defending champion Dallas Demons swept the Los Angeles Big One in the playoff SemiFinals 2 games to 0; pounding them decisively in Game 2 90-77.

Led by Player of the Game point guard Mini Carfartt and running mate Juzan Djinn, Dallas took a 9-point lead at the half and then proceeded to blow out the visitors with a 34-point third quarter, while Carfart spent much of the time on the bench. 

There is no doubt that L.A. missed its Hall of Fame point guard Vicious Hick, injured on the first time unit of Game 1. Carfartt roasted his replacement, Donnie Dupons.

The Demons, heading for their seventh consecutive Finals, await the winner of Philadelphia vs. Sacramento to go after yet another championship with a starting lineup that changed 40 percent since last season.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

34 GVP...Fourth-year Dallas point guard MINI CARFARTT posted one POG during the regular season, having his best campaign with a 15.8 ppg average. He's doubled that POG number in two post-season games, grabbing his second in as many outings and scoring at a 27 per game rate. In this game he started with a 10 point first quarter, followed by 14 more in the second before finally calming down in the second half for a grand total of 31 points. He was 14 for 19 from the floor (2 for 4 from deep) and 1 for 1 from the foul line. He added 2 rebounds and 1 steal. And for the second game in a row, the 5-10 Carfartt concluded the theft with a slam dunk.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

33 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...21 points (3 treys)...7 assists...3 blocks...1 rebound...1 steal.

30 GVP...Los Angeles two guard Pinky Toe...26 points...2 rebounds...2 assists.

24 GVP...Los Angeles power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...18 points...3 rebounds...3 assists.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Los Angeles...2...0...0...6  Total=8

Dallas.............0...0...7...4  Total=11

TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTERS

Los Angeles...0...0...1...1  Total=2

Dallas.............1...2...0...2  Total=5

TOP PLAYERS POINTS PREVENTED

1. Phillip Mianus, Los Angeles 4

1. Nick Kenpoop, Dallas 4

3. Juzan Djinn, Dallas 3

TOP PLAYER IN TURNOVERS CAUSED

1. Poop-Rupiah 3000, Dallas 3

NEXT UP: The Playoffs return to Sacramento for the first time since Season 54 as the River Dogs look to stave off elimination by Philadelphia and win a post-season contest for the first time since Season 48...their last championship.

MOST PLAYOFF MVPS

3-Cappy Gambol

3-Juzan Djinn (Active)

3-Stu Nod

2-Chip Battoe

2-Dan Mann

2-Curly Hogbottom

2-Jonny Cockaroo

2-Boone Doggle

2-Hrundi V. Bakshi

2-Cock A. Doodledoo

2-Beezow Bop-Bop

2-Vicious Hick (Active)

2-Diss Reflexia

(all are Hall of Fame players with the exception of Doodledoo)

Did you know...the last time any player captured both the regular season and playoff MVP honors in the same campaign was nine seasons ago when Hall of Fame guard Jesse Shershot of San Jose turned the trick in Season 49.

 

Season 58 Playoffs...SemiFinals Game 1...Sacramento at Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA 72,  SACRAMENTO 66

PHOBIA'S 'D' TOO MUCH FOR R-DOGS

PHILADELPHIA -- The Philadelphia defense, best by far in the MBA this season, prevented 19 River Dogs points in this 72-66 Game 1 win, six more than Sacramento's could muster, and six was the margin of victory.

Down by as much as 10 in the third quarter, Sacramento closed to within 3 points twice in the fourth and by 4 with 18 left, but they could not get any closer.

The 6-11, 6-10, 6-10 front line of the victors, who captured their fifth consecutive win, pounded out a 28-19 rebounding advantage to grab their first playoff win in eight seasons. And while the Phobia shot 60.7 percent from the floor, they held the visitors to just 47.4 percent. 

Sacramento's biggest advantage came from beyond the arc, where they out-did Philly 6 treys to zip.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Sacramento...0...11...0...2   Total=13

Philadelphia..4...10...4...1   Total=19

Individual leaders points prevented

1. Blob Dylan, Philadelphia 7

1. Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia 7

3. Satan Israel, Sacramento 6

TURNOVERS CAUSED

Philadelphia caused 2 turnovers, both in the first quarter

Sacramento caused 0 turnovers

The individual who led in turnovers caused was Tut Ankhamun of Philadelphia with 2.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

28 GVP...We said in the preview for this series that Philadelphia had a major advantage at center, and the Phobia's BLOB DYLAN immediately asserted that upper hand in the pivot in Game 1. The 6-11 sixth-year defensive genius dominated his man Ab3rd, tying for most points prevented while also tying for game-high scoring honors with 18 points and game-high in rebounds with 7 and blocked shots with 2,  adding 1 assist. He was 8 of 12 from the floor and 2 for 2 from the foul line in a continuation of what has been his best offensive season. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

27 GVP...Philadelphia power forward Philibuck Davia...18 points...7 rebounds...2 assists.

22 GVP...Philadelphia small forward Leonard Pinth Garnel...12 points...6 rebounds...3 assists...1 blocked shot...tied for most points prevented.

21 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Tut "the Pharoa" Ankhamun...10 points...8 assists...2 rebounds...1 steal...game-high 2 turnovers caused

21 GVP...Sacramento point guard Rabbit Munchers...18 points (5 treys)...2 rebounds...1 assist.

20 GVP...Sacramento's retiring power forward Satan Israel...17 points (3 slams)...3 rebounds...third in points prevented.

NEXT UP: The Champs from Dallas look to close out Los Angeles in Big D.

Season 58 Playoffs...SemiFinals Game 1...Dallas at Los Angeles

DALLAS 75, LOS ANGELES 66

DEMONS DOWN HICK-LESS L.A.

LOS ANGELES -- The very first roll of the dice in the Season 58 playoffs was disastrous for Los Angeles, as the fans of the Big One watched Hall of Fame point guard Vicious Hick go down to a 3-game injury, seriously damaging the team's hopes for a championship run.

L.A., with usually reliable guard Donnie DuPons in for Hick, hung in there for most of the contest...even leading at the end of the first and third quarters, before coming apart in the fourth to lose to the six-time-defending champs from Dallas, 75-66.

The Demons, who came into post-season riding a 6-game winning streak, avenged an 80-58 shellacking by L.A. that kicked off the campaign, as they held the number one shooting percentage team (60.6 percent) to just 45 percent accuracy. Dupons came up small in that department, going just 3 for 12 from the floor.

Dallas was forced to play rookie forward Fashion Boy Vuitton for the better part of the game when Demons' forward Nick Kenpoop sucker punched Phillip Mianus of L.A., leading to a brawl and the ejection of Kenpoop.  

The home team could not capitalize on a 10-rebound advantage, and as the game slipped away late in the fourth, Los Angeles coach Naceg Gecan, with red-faced frustration, laid into the referees, leading to a technical foul with 6 time units remaining.

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

26 GVP...Hall of Fame guard JUZAN DJINN took control of the game in the fourth quarter like he has so many times in the past for Dallas. The All-MBA stud did not have a great shooting day, going just 3 for 12 (1 for 4 from deep and 6 for 6 from the foul line), but contributed, as usual, in many other ways in this win. He led everyone in assists with 6, tied for team rebounding honors with 4 and  blocked a game-high 3 shots. His man, Pinky Toe, did not score in the second half and fouled out of the game.

AND

26 GVP...Djinn's running mate at point guard MINI CARFARTT led everyone in scoring with 23 points, going 11 for 16 from the floor, including 1 for 4 from deep, 2 rebounds and a steal that ended with a slam dunk by the 5-10 thief. Los Angeles came into the series boasting the best guard combo, but Djinn and Carfartt demonstrated their potency in this game. Carfartt pretty much destroyed DuPons.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

23 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "The Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...13 points...8 rebounds...2 assists.

22 GVP...Los Angeles power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...14 points...7 rebounds...1 block.

20 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard Pinky Toe...12 points...5 assists...3 rebounds.

NEXT UP: Game 1 of the Semis with Sacramento at Philadelphia...two teams that finished last place in the previous season return to the post-season after long absences.