Monday, June 22, 2026

Season 59 Free Agents

 Huge Talent in Free Agents

  The free agent class of Season 59, boasting such stellar stars as Juzan Djinn, Vicious Hick, Pinky Toe and Poop-Rupiah 3000, has already established this coming draft as potentially game-changing for any or all franchises...and that's without even considering the rookie additions to the league.
  The aforementioned four players include Hall of Famers Djinn and Hick, with the former tied for the number 1 overall spot in MBA history. Meanwhile Toe and 3000 are both well on their way to Hall of Fame status.
  Three of those Big Four (Hick being the exception) were first team All-MBA last season.
 Both Dallas and Los Angeles were hit hardest by free agency, with each team losing their top two players.
 Hick and Toe were the main men on Los Angeles these past two seasons, but their potent abilities fell short of the championship, netting The Big One two playoff berths but zero post-season wins.
  Dallas, with free agents Djinn and 3000, could potentially be losing their best two players. We say potentially because Djinn was a free agent a few seasons back, only to return to the Demons. Both Djinn and 3000 are coming off  All-MBA seasons.
  Ten players total will be joining the draft as free agents. with 7 of the 10 being starters.
  Four teams...San Jose, Seattle, Sacramento and the champs from Philadelphia escaped free agency unscathed. All but San Jose are sitting in excellent position as the draft approaches.
 Milwaukee and Gillette both lost two players to free agency, with the Greyhounds losing starting guard Joey "Joe-Joe" Shamadu, Jr. and center Krackey Krakatoa and Gillette losing starting forward Dark Urine and veteran backup guard Hurricane Furrwizard.
  Charleston and Oklahoma City both lost one bench player each, so both are primed to improve their fourtunes.
  The addition of 16 rookies makes for a 26-player draft, meaning each team will get two players in the draft, with all franchises except for the four playoff teams getting a third pick. Dallas, however, will be getting just one pick, since their trade with Sacramento gives the River Dogs the Demons' lone prime pick. (Meaning the R-Dogs are the only team in the draft with 4 picks). 
  Tyler teams took the biggest hit in free agency, losing 6 players, all starters, and the four best free agents.
   Dave teams lost four players, with just one starter.

JUST ONE COACHING CHANGE
  The last-place Milwaukee Greyhounds are the only team making a coaching change as we head into Season 59. They will replace coach Pietro Destroyer with first-time head coach Bisquero Cutoff.
  In his three seasons at the helm, Destroyer compied an 11-19 overall record (13-22 including the playoffs). He guided the Greyhounds to a 6-4, second-place finish in his initial campaign, which was on the heels of three consecutive last-place finishes. In that Season 56 playoff run, Milwaukee went all the way to Game Five in the Finals before finally bowing to the champs from Dallas.
  Cutoff, primarily known as a defensive-minded, shot-blocking forward, played 10 seasons in the MBA, making four All Star Games and starting for the Season 28 championship Dallas team. He played for Charleston, Milwaukee, Dallas and Sacramento before retiring.
  Next up...the making of the rookies. 

 


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