Season 59 All Star Game....and one coach fired

EAST 102, WEST 60 (SLAUGHTER RULE ENFORCED)

BIGGEST SLAUGHTER EVER

GILLETTE -- The East Division All Stars began the game with a 15-2 run and romped their way home to an All Star Game record 42-point victory, 102-60. The previous record was a 34-point triumph by the East in Season 24, 35 campaigns ago.

It was the fifth time that the winning team hit the century mark in the Star contest, the last coming by the East in Season 45. The East also has the record for most points in the game, set in Season 38 with 106.

Rookie point guard Shelly Bogturtle of Oklahoma City became only the fifth first-year player to win scoring honors in the game and the first since Season 36 when Vic Hitler of Houston scored 19 points.

Juzan Djinn added to his record total of assists and blocks in All Star competition and surpassed Naf Naf and Curley Hogbottom to move into second place in All Star scoring. He is now just 18 points away from all-time All Star point-getter Uncle Bob Masterson.

MVP OF THE GAME

30 GVP...Five-time All Star BLOB DYLAN of Philadelphia became just the third center in 59 MBA seasons to win MVP honors in the Star Game. The 6-11 defensive bulwark, now in his seventh campaign, was a force to be reckoned with on both ends of the court in this game. Not only did he limit the outstanding Poop-Rupiah 3000 to two measley points, Dylan scored 17 of his own on 8 of 12 shooting (2 dunks, 1 for 1 free throwing), pulled down a game-high 6 boards, stole a game-high 2 passes, dropped 4 assists and blocked 1 shot. That performance earned him the first MVP for a center in  29 seasons. The winner in Season 30 was the most awarded center of all time, Max Payne. The only other center to ever win an All Star Game MVP was Hall of Famer Mable Reed, way, way back in Season 8.

Other 20-plus GVP performers (none from the West)

26 GVP...Hall of fame shooting guard Juzan Djinn of Dallas...19 points...3 blocks...2 rebounds...2 assists.

25 GVP...Rookie point guard Shelly Bogturtle of Oklahoma City...20 points (4 treys)...4 assists...1 rebound.

23 GVP...Forward Leonard Pinth Garnel of Philadelphia...TRIPLE DOUBLE...12 points...5 rebounds...5 assists...1 block.

20 GVP...Forward Nick Kenpoop of Dallas...13 points...4 rebounds...1 assist...1 steal...1 block

LARIATS FIRE HEAD COACH

The disappointing Oklahoma City Lariats (0-5), pegged by experts as playoff contenders prior to the start of the season, have fired head coach Grady Booch after 9 and a half seasons and replaced him with Hall of Famer Naf Naf.

Booch leaves the team with an overall regular season record of 45-50 and three playoff appearances in which the team made it to the Finals all three times, recording an overall 10-9 playoff mark.

Those playoff seasons were Season 53, Season 54 and Season 57. His teams came within one victory of winning it all in both Season 53 and 57.

Season 59 All Star rosters announced...plus, the new man atop the MBA Pyramid of Greatness

 

ALL STAR GAME FACTS AND TIDBITS

-- The East leads the West in the series 36-22, but the West has won the last two contests

--  CHOCHKY GALUMPKUS will be appearing in his 9th All Star Game, That ties him for 5th place on the all-time list. JUZAN DJINN will be in his 8th ASG and has started all 8 times. The list for most All Star Game appearances follows:

12...J.J. Gargantuan

11...Max Payne

10...Mamadou Zongo

9.....Curly Hogbottom

9.....Chochky Galumpkus

8...Juzan Djinn

8...Doug Fresh

8...Jonny Cockaroo

8...Ching-Chong Chung

8...Tree Fiddy

-- JUZAN DJINN enters his 8th All Star Game in 5th place for most ASG points scored. The list is as follows:

158 points...Uncle Bob Masterson

130 points...Naf Naf

126 points...Curly Hogbottom

123 points...Tommy Zoop

121 points...Juzan Djinn

114 points...Diamond Dallas Paige

109 points...Ching-Chong Chung

106 points...Chochky Galumpkus

102 points...Mamadou Zongo

-- This will be the 8th Start earned by JUZAN DJINN, which ties him for second-most starts ever in an All Star Game. The all-time starts list is as follows:

9...Curly Hogbottom

8...Juzan Djinn

8...Mamadou Zongo

7...Boone Doggle

7...Uncle Bob Masterson

-- JUZAN DJINN already holds the all-time marks for most career ASG assists (21) and blocked shots (23).

-- Three players will appear in the game who have previously won MVP of the All Star Game...Juzan Djinn (Season 54), Vicious Hick (Season 57) and Pinky Toe (last season...Season 58).

-- Every team in the MBA will be represented in this game with at least one player. The two teams with the most are Los Angeles and Dallas with 3 each.

-- All three active Hall of Famers ...Juzan Djinn, Chochky Galumpkus and Vicious Hick made this season's All Star Game.

-- 11 of the 20 All Stars from last season's ASG are back. Five of the 11 had starting berths in both seasons. They are:

Juzan Djinn

Leonard Pinth Garnel

Pinky Toe

Grand Demur Fuyacho

J.J. "Jake" Pickles

-- This will be just the seond time that Gillette has hosted the All Star Game. The first was in Season 50, which was won by the West, 73-65...The MVP of the Game was Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer, who was also the game's top scorer with 24 points.

-- There are five first-time All Stars in this season's game.

-- Despite what was considered an excellent rookie class, only one rookie, Shelly Bogturtle of Oklahoma City, earned All Star Game honors. And he will be starting for the East.

-- Players who just missed making the team: guard Famichiki Whiskey of Milwaukee (21.2 GVP), rookie guard Braddah Wayne of Los Angeles (21.0 GVP) and forward Kevin Duran-Duran of Oklahoma City (20.6 GVP)

DJINN DETHRONES HOGBOTTOM

It seems that Curly Hogbottom has been on top of the MBA pyramid forever, but with his latest award for making the MBA All Star Game, Dallas Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn is now at the top with 26 awards. 

Season 59 Retirees announced

 VERY FEW RETIRING AFTER THIS SEASON

The cut pile took the brunt of those players designated for retiring following the end of this season, with the active roster guys clinging to their MBA playing career like so many dingleberrys.

Ten of the 15 cut pile guys up for retirment decided to give up the ghost, calling it quits at an odds-defying (33 percent is normal) 66.7 percent rate.

That rate was reversed in the active roster retirements, where 38 players faced retirement but only 5 decided that this would be their final campaign. That's just a 13.2 percent rate of retiring. This was, perhaps, the lowest rate ever for one season.

As far as starters go, the retention rate was even better. Out of 22 starters up for retirement, only 2 will be leaving the game...both on Seattle.

Six teams were totally untouched by retirments. Dave teams lost just one player, Oklahoma City substitute forward L.S. Island. But Tyler teams, with the exception of Seattle, were almost as lucky, losing just 4 players.

None of the league superstars were lost. Couple that with the super low retirment rate, and we might be seeing one of the more talented versions of the MBA next season with the introduction of the 16-player rookie class.

Season 59 Featured Game 5...Philadelphia at Milwaukee

 

PHILADELPHIA 78, MILWAUKEE 72

PHOBIA OUTLASTS GRITTY GUARDS

MILWAUKEE --  Shooting a blistering 71.4 percent as a team, the Philadelphia Phobia (now 4-1) withstood a 44-point barrage by Milwaukee's guards to capture a 78-72 road win and sweep the season series. 

The Greyhounds are now 2-3.

Led by Famichiki Whiskey, the home team Greyhounds closed an 11-point gap to just 3 points at the 7 time unit mark, only to have substitute Philadelphia guard Sweet Sweety Dee bury his third trey of the game on the next time unit to seal the deal.

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

28 GVP...It's highly unusual for a losing team to get two POGs in the same contest, but its difficult to deny Milwaukee guards VICIOUS HICK and FAMICHIKI WHISKEY their just rewards. Hick, the Hall of Fame point guard, scored 21 points on 7 of 11 shooting, going 6 for 8 from deep while tying for team high in rebounds with 5 and adding a pair of assists. He was 1 for 1 from the foul line. This was his first POG this season and upped his scoring average to 18 points per game, good for fourth in the league. 

Meanwhile, Whiskey led all scorers with 23 points, also tying for team-best in boards with 5. The fouryth-year shooting guard was 8 for 21 from the floor, connecting on 3 of 7 from long range and going 4 for 5 from the foul lline. Like his running mate at guard, Whiskey is also averaging 18 points per game, giving Milwaukee two players in the top 5 in scoring. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

24 GVP...Philadelphia center Blob Dylan...13 points...6 rebounds...2 assists...2 steals...1 block.

23 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Tut Ankhamun...18 points...2 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal.

23 GVP...Philadelphia forward Leonard Pinth Garnel...12 points...5 assists...4 rebounds...1 steal...1 block.

MBA Standings … Season 59

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………4-1

DALLAS………………4-1

MILWAUKEE………..2-3

CHARLESTON……….1-4

OKLAHOMA CITY….0-4

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….4-0

SAN JOSE…………3-1

SEATTLE………….2-2

GILLETTE…………1-3

SACRAMENTO…1-3

NEXT UP:  It’s Gillette at Seattle in the next contest, as the Stampede gets ready to hunt down second-place San Jose. But then again an upset win by The Humps could move them past the Stampede in the West standings.

BONUS: Ten MBA observations (made prior to this Featured Game)

1)The league has gone defensive thus far in Season 59, with three teams (Philadelphia, Los Angeles and San Jose) currently holding opponents under 70 points per game. Last season only the champions from Philadelphia turned that trick. San Jose is the real puzzle. Last season they were dead last on D, yielding a sieve-like 85.8 points per game. The lineup is the same this season with the exception of rookie forward Waialua Blobtop who took the place of Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer.

2) As one might expect, the increased defense has left the league without even one team scoring at 80 points per game. Last season, three teams turned the trick.

3) Five teams are scoring less than 70 points per game...only Charleston did that last season.

4) Two of those five low-scoring teams, San Jose and Philadelphia, are currently holding playoff positions.

5) The Rookie of the Year race right now looks like this:

Guard Shelly Bogturtle of Oklahoma City ... 24.6 GVP

Guard Braddah Wayne of Los Angeles...21.7 GVP

Forward Waialua Blobtop of San Jose...18.4 GVP

6) The MVP race right now looks like this:

Forward Leonard Pinth Garnel of Philadelphia...33.1 MVP pts for defending MVP

Guard Pinky Toe of Los Angeles...31.6 MVP pts

Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn of Dallas...29.2 MVP pts

7) Dallas, always in the hunt, is tied for the best record in the East despite it putrid 14 rebounds per game, which is last in the league. The next worst team is Sacramento at 18.5.

8) In this defensive season, five players have already scored 30 or more points in one game, and we haven't quite hit the halfway mark yet. In all of last season, only 6 players reached the 30 or more mark in a game.

9) There were 9 barn-burners all of last season (games won by 3 points or less or overtime games). This season we have already had 8. 

10) The West is ahead of the East in cross-over wins for the first time in memory...3 to 1. Let's see if that holds up.