Season 59 ... Featured Game No. 9...Philadelphia at Dallas

DALLAS 89, PHILADELPHIA 67 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

DEMONS CLINCH TOP SPOT IN EAST

DALLAS -- After a one-season absence, the Dallas Demons regained their spot at the top of the East Division, clinching their 19th division title with a slaughter-rule whomping of the defending champion Philadelphia Phobia, 89-67.

Dallas has now won seven of the last eight East Division titles; the only interruption being last season when Philadelphia broke through.

It wasn't all bad news for Philly, however, as it has been determined that they will join Dallas in the playoffs, seeing as how there is no way for Milwaukee to beat them out for the second spot. In the best case scenario for Milwaukee, they would tie Philly at 6-4 and both would have 5 division wins. But the next tie-breaker is head-to-head, and the Phobia swept the two games against the Greyhounds.

So now just one playoff spot remains. And it's San Jose, Seattle and Sacramento duking it out in the West with two games left for each team.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

36 GVP...While his surrounding cast of starters are all having career seasons, the most honored player in MBA history has put together yet another outstanding campaign, topping things off with this, his third POG of Season 59. That ties Dallas Hall of Famer JUZAN DJINN with Rabbit Munchers of Sacramento for second in the POG department, trailing only leader Pinky Toe of Los Angeles. The 10-year veteran thrilled the Dallas home crowd with a game-high 29 points that included five long bombs in a row before he finally missed the sixth. He was 11 for 15 from the floor, topped everyone with 2 steals, tied most blocked shots with 2 and added 2 rebounds and 1 assist. The Demons' leader is now averaging 17 points per game this season. This represents the fourth-best scoring campaign of his stellar career.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

26 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...17 points...4 rebounds...3 assists...1 steal...1 block.

25 GVP...Philadelphia power forward Rattles Ithome just out of the cut pile...18 points...5 rebounds...2 assists.

22 GVP...Dallas point guard Mini Carfartt...17 points...4 rebounds...1 assist.

20 GVP...Philadelphia rookie shooting guard Jimmy "the Chipmunk" Hoover...19 points...1 assist.

MBA Standings … Season 59

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS…………………8-1 (clinched division and playoffs)

PHILADELPHIA………6-3 (clinched playoffs)

MILWAUKEE………..5-4 (eliminated)

CHARLESTON……….1-7 (eliminated)

OKLAHOMA CITY….1-8 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….8-0 clinched division

SACRAMENTO…4-4

SAN JOSE…………4-4

SEATTLE………….3-5

GILLETTE…………2-6 (eliminated)

NEXT UP:  San Jose, picked unanimously to finish last, travels to Charleston for a winnable cross-over game as the Amigos continue to pursue the only remaining post-season berth still available.

Season 59 Featured Game No. 8...Seattle at Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES 88, SEATTLE 66 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

BIG ONE POUNDS ON SEATTLE

LOS ANGELES -- The march toward a perfect regular season continues for the powerul Los Angeles Big One (now 7-0), who easily dispatched visiting Seattle (now 3-5) 88-66.

L.A. started the game with a 10-0 run and was never really threatened, with all five starters getting 20 or more GVP points in the win. Los Angeles also dominated defensively, preventing 22 Seattle points, while the Stampede was shut out in that department.

Seattle is now hanging onto its playoff hopes by a C-hair and faces the prospect of playing The Big One again in its next outing.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

33 GVP...Los Angeles power forward GRAND DEMUR FUYACHO has avoided injury this season and has put all of his fourth-year talent on display. The 6-10 power house came into the game third in the league in rebounding and tops in blocked shots with a career-high scoring average. He snagged his second POG of the season, dominating his opposite, Erik A. Crocidale. Fuyacho scored 19 points on 8 of 11 shooting (3 for 3 free-throwing), pulled down 5 rebounds, led everyone in steals with 3 and blocked a game-high 4 shots, adding 2 assists. Additionally he stopped two baskets by the opposition for 4 points prevented. After consecutive seasons in which he suffered three-game injuries, Fuyacho is making a case for his first All-MBA foil star. He's officially become a scoring threat at 15.3 ppg in addition to all his other talents.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

32 GVP...Los Angeles point guard Pinky Toe...26 points (3 treys)...4 rebounds...2 assists.

25 GVP...Seattle small forward J.J. "Jake" Pickle...20 points...3 rebounds...1 steal...1 assist.

24 GVP...Retiring Seattle point guard Ehhy Table...15 points (3 treys)...5 assists...3 rebounds...1 steal.

23 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzie "the Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...12 points...6 rebounds...4 assists...1 blocked shot.

21 GVP...Los Angeles rookie two guard Braddah Wayne...12 points...4 rebounds...2 blocks...2 assists...1 steal...5 points prevented.

20 GVP...Los Angeles small forward Big "Blue" Bottle...13 points...4 rebounds...2 assists...1 block

POINTS PREVENTED

Los Angeles 22

Seattle 0

TOPS IN POINTS PREVENTED

1. Joestradamus Walsh, Los Angeles 6

2. Braddah Wayne, Los Angeles 5

3. Grand Demur Fuyacho, Los Angeles 4

MBA Standings … Season 59

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS…………………6-1

PHILADELPHIA………6-1

MILWAUKEE………..4-3

CHARLESTON……….1-6 (eliminated)

OKLAHOMA CITY….0-7 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….8-0 clinched division

SAN JOSE…………3-4

SACRAMENTO…3-4

SEATTLE………….3-5

GILLETTE…………2-5

NEXT UP:  Gillette at Sacramento, with the home team River Dogs looking to supplant San Jose in second place in the West. But hey, the way the West is playing out, Gillette can still be considered a playoff contender, especially with a win. First of two consecutive meetings between these two.

 

 

Season 59 Featured Game No. 7....Los Angeles at San Jose

 

LOS ANGELES 77, SAN JOSE 59

BIG ONE CLINCHES WEST AGAIN

SAN JOSE -- The Los Angeles Big One (now 7-0) became the first Season 59 team to clinch a playoff spot, winning the West Division for the second straight season with their relatively easy 77-59 road victory over San Jose (now 3-4). It's the third straight season L.A. has made the post-season.

This is the 10th time this franchise (formerly Houston) has won its division, and the fourth time they have finished atop the West since moving to Los Angeles. It's also the first time in franchise history that the team has finished first in back-to-back seasons.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

31 GVP...AL A. ORDEN, the man with the most championship rings to his name in MBA history (7), who happens to be the oldest current player in the game, still has an index card that is straight and true as indicated by this, his second POG of the season. San Jose coach Louie Subgum nearly did not start Orden in this game, since the 19-season veteran has been slumping as of late. But then he said "Fuck it. Al deserves a spot on the Featured Game stage." The 6-8 Orden responded with a team-high 19 points, a game-high 8 rebounds and 4 assists in a losing cause. Big Al was 8 for 13 from the floor with a pair of slam dunks and 3 for 3 from the foul line as he thoroughly out-played his opposite, Big Blue Bottle. By the way, Orden will be returning for his 20th campaign next season, still donning the old-time uniform that has almost vanished on today's tabletops.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

28 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "the Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...21 points...5 rebounds...1 block...1 assist.

28 GVP...Los Angeles power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...15 points (3 slams)...6 rebounds...4 blocks...2 assists...1 steal.

26 GVP...Los Angeles point guard Pinky Toe...20 points...3 rebounds...3 assists.

MBA Standings … Season 59

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………6-1

DALLAS…………………5-1

MILWAUKEE………..4-3

CHARLESTON……….1-6 (eliminated)

OKLAHOMA CITY….0-7 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….7-0 clinched playoffs and division

SAN JOSE…………3-4

SEATTLE………….3-4

SACRAMENTO…3-4

GILLETTE…………2-4

NEXT UP:  Gillette at Dallas in a cross-over. The Demons need (and should get) a win against The Humps to remain in first in a tight race in the East.

Season 59 Featured Game No. 6...Los Angeles at Gillette...plus Bonus

 

LOS ANGELES 89, GILLETTE 77

L.A. REMAINS UNBOWED

GILLETTE -- The L.A. express sped past another MBA city without taking on any baggage in the way of losses, racing past the home team Humps 89-77 and remaining unbeaten at 6-0.

The 12-point final margin was not reflective of the potent first half The Big One put together, when they scored 34 first-quarter points and accumulated 62 by halftime. 

The head-to-head showdown between the league's top two scorers, Pinky Toe of L.A. and Maboroshi No Hotcake of Gillette was anti-climatic, although neither disappoiinted. 

Gillette (now 2-4) managed to avoid the Slaughter Rule and actually out-scored Los Angeles by 10 in the second half; but that was cold comfort as they continue to drop further from playoff contention.

Points prevented by quarters

Los Angeles...5...0...3...4  Total=12

Gillette...........2...0...2...0  Total=4

Leaders in points prevented

1. Grand Demur Fuyacho, Los Angeles...4

2. Pinky Toe, Los Angeles...3

2. Blue Bottle, Los Angeles...3

PLAYER OF THE GAME

42 GVP...Los Angeles point guard supreme PINKY TOE captured his third consecutive POG of the season and fourth overall, doubling up his next closest competitors in this category. The sixth-year star, who seems destined to win his first Most Valuable Player award and gain a berth in the Hall of Fame, scored a game-high 35 points in his duel with Maboroshi No Hotcake, tying for game honors in assists with 5 and adding a pair of rebounds. He scored 12 in the first quarter and hit his first 9 shots of the game before finally missing on a 3-point bomb. By halftime he had accumulated 28 points before slowing the scoring pace once the competitive portion of the game was over. He was 13 for 19 overall, with 4 3-pointers in 7 attempts, going 5 for 8 from the foul line. The move from two guard to point seems to have agreed with him, as he is scoring at his best rate ever...24.3 per contest.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

36 GVP...Los Angeles power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...2nd career TRIPLE DOUBLE...22 points...7 rebounds...5 blocks...2 assists...most points prevented in the game.

30 GVP...Los Angeles rookie shooting guard Braddah Wayne...19 points...5 blocked shots...3 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal.

27 GVP...Gillette point guard Maboroshi No Hotcake...21 points (4 treys)...3 rebounds...3 assists.

26 GVP...Gillette power forward Gene Pope...20 points...5 rebounds...1 steal.

MBA Standings … Season 59

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS…………………4-1

PHILADELPHIA………4-1

MILWAUKEE………..3-3

CHARLESTON……….1-4

OKLAHOMA CITY….0-5

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….6-0

SAN JOSE…………3-2

SEATTLE………….2-3

GILLETTE…………2-4

SACRAMENTO…2-4

NEXT UP:  Big game next with Seattle traveling to San Jose. The Stampede is looking to match The Fighting Amigos’ record and avenge a 65-64 ambush from early this season. 

BONUS

CLOSE GAMES ABOUND 

With Season 59 barely halfway over, there have already been nine barn-burner games this season, tying the total number for all of last season and all-but-assuring an unusually number of close contests for this campaign.

(Barn-burners are defined as games that end with 3-point victories or less or overtime games.)

As might be expected, the league’s two division-leading teams are having the most success in these squeakers.

Los Angeles (6-0 overall) has been in two barn-burners and won them both.

Dallas (4-1) has a 2-1 record in its three barn-burners.

San Jose (3-2) has won its lone barn-burner.

Milwaukee (3-3) is also 1-0 in close games.

Gillette (2-4) is also 1-0 in close ones.

Sacramento (2-3) is 1-1 in its two squeakers.

Seattle (2-3) is also 1-1 in barn-burners

Charleston (1-4) has come out on the wrong end of all three of its close games. In fact, in its last three games, the Mountaineers have lost by 1 point to Milwaukee, lost by one point to Gillette and lost by two points in overtime to mighty Dallas.

Oklahoma City (0-5) has also been to the wire in three games, losing them all. Two of them were to two of the league’s best teams…an overtime loss to Dallas and their most recent loss, at the buzzer to iunbeaten Los Angeles.

Only Philadelphia has not experienced a barn-burner game this season.

 

 

Season 59 All Star Game....and one coach fired

EAST 102, WEST 60 (SLAUGHTER RULE ENFORCED)

BIGGEST SLAUGHTER EVER

GILLETTE -- The East Division All Stars began the game with a 15-2 run and romped their way home to an All Star Game record 42-point victory, 102-60. The previous record was a 34-point triumph by the East in Season 24, 35 campaigns ago.

It was the fifth time that the winning team hit the century mark in the Star contest, the last coming by the East in Season 45. The East also has the record for most points in the game, set in Season 38 with 106.

Rookie point guard Shelly Bogturtle of Oklahoma City became only the fifth first-year player to win scoring honors in the game and the first since Season 36 when Vic Hitler of Houston scored 19 points.

Juzan Djinn added to his record total of assists and blocks in All Star competition and surpassed Naf Naf and Curley Hogbottom to move into second place in All Star scoring. He is now just 18 points away from all-time All Star point-getter Uncle Bob Masterson.

MVP OF THE GAME

30 GVP...Five-time All Star BLOB DYLAN of Philadelphia became just the third center in 59 MBA seasons to win MVP honors in the Star Game. The 6-11 defensive bulwark, now in his seventh campaign, was a force to be reckoned with on both ends of the court in this game. Not only did he limit the outstanding Poop-Rupiah 3000 to two measley points, Dylan scored 17 of his own on 8 of 12 shooting (2 dunks, 1 for 1 free throwing), pulled down a game-high 6 boards, stole a game-high 2 passes, dropped 4 assists and blocked 1 shot. That performance earned him the first MVP for a center in  29 seasons. The winner in Season 30 was the most awarded center of all time, Max Payne. The only other center to ever win an All Star Game MVP was Hall of Famer Mable Reed, way, way back in Season 8.

Other 20-plus GVP performers (none from the West)

26 GVP...Hall of fame shooting guard Juzan Djinn of Dallas...19 points...3 blocks...2 rebounds...2 assists.

25 GVP...Rookie point guard Shelly Bogturtle of Oklahoma City...20 points (4 treys)...4 assists...1 rebound.

23 GVP...Forward Leonard Pinth Garnel of Philadelphia...TRIPLE DOUBLE...12 points...5 rebounds...5 assists...1 block.

20 GVP...Forward Nick Kenpoop of Dallas...13 points...4 rebounds...1 assist...1 steal...1 block

LARIATS FIRE HEAD COACH

The disappointing Oklahoma City Lariats (0-5), pegged by experts as playoff contenders prior to the start of the season, have fired head coach Grady Booch after 9 and a half seasons and replaced him with Hall of Famer Naf Naf.

Booch leaves the team with an overall regular season record of 45-50 and three playoff appearances in which the team made it to the Finals all three times, recording an overall 10-9 playoff mark.

Those playoff seasons were Season 53, Season 54 and Season 57. His teams came within one victory of winning it all in both Season 53 and 57.

Season 59 All Star rosters announced...plus, the new man atop the MBA Pyramid of Greatness

 

ALL STAR GAME FACTS AND TIDBITS

-- The East leads the West in the series 36-22, but the West has won the last two contests

--  CHOCHKY GALUMPKUS will be appearing in his 9th All Star Game, That ties him for 5th place on the all-time list. JUZAN DJINN will be in his 8th ASG and has started all 8 times. The list for most All Star Game appearances follows:

12...J.J. Gargantuan

11...Max Payne

10...Mamadou Zongo

9.....Curly Hogbottom

9.....Chochky Galumpkus

8...Juzan Djinn

8...Doug Fresh

8...Jonny Cockaroo

8...Ching-Chong Chung

8...Tree Fiddy

-- JUZAN DJINN enters his 8th All Star Game in 5th place for most ASG points scored. The list is as follows:

158 points...Uncle Bob Masterson

130 points...Naf Naf

126 points...Curly Hogbottom

123 points...Tommy Zoop

121 points...Juzan Djinn

114 points...Diamond Dallas Paige

109 points...Ching-Chong Chung

106 points...Chochky Galumpkus

102 points...Mamadou Zongo

-- This will be the 8th Start earned by JUZAN DJINN, which ties him for second-most starts ever in an All Star Game. The all-time starts list is as follows:

9...Curly Hogbottom

8...Juzan Djinn

8...Mamadou Zongo

7...Boone Doggle

7...Uncle Bob Masterson

-- JUZAN DJINN already holds the all-time marks for most career ASG assists (21) and blocked shots (23).

-- Three players will appear in the game who have previously won MVP of the All Star Game...Juzan Djinn (Season 54), Vicious Hick (Season 57) and Pinky Toe (last season...Season 58).

-- Every team in the MBA will be represented in this game with at least one player. The two teams with the most are Los Angeles and Dallas with 3 each.

-- All three active Hall of Famers ...Juzan Djinn, Chochky Galumpkus and Vicious Hick made this season's All Star Game.

-- 11 of the 20 All Stars from last season's ASG are back. Five of the 11 had starting berths in both seasons. They are:

Juzan Djinn

Leonard Pinth Garnel

Pinky Toe

Grand Demur Fuyacho

J.J. "Jake" Pickles

-- This will be just the seond time that Gillette has hosted the All Star Game. The first was in Season 50, which was won by the West, 73-65...The MVP of the Game was Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer, who was also the game's top scorer with 24 points.

-- There are five first-time All Stars in this season's game.

-- Despite what was considered an excellent rookie class, only one rookie, Shelly Bogturtle of Oklahoma City, earned All Star Game honors. And he will be starting for the East.

-- Players who just missed making the team: guard Famichiki Whiskey of Milwaukee (21.2 GVP), rookie guard Braddah Wayne of Los Angeles (21.0 GVP) and forward Kevin Duran-Duran of Oklahoma City (20.6 GVP)

DJINN DETHRONES HOGBOTTOM

It seems that Curly Hogbottom has been on top of the MBA pyramid forever, but with his latest award for making the MBA All Star Game, Dallas Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn is now at the top with 26 awards. 

Season 59 Retirees announced

 VERY FEW RETIRING AFTER THIS SEASON

The cut pile took the brunt of those players designated for retiring following the end of this season, with the active roster guys clinging to their MBA playing career like so many dingleberrys.

Ten of the 15 cut pile guys up for retirment decided to give up the ghost, calling it quits at an odds-defying (33 percent is normal) 66.7 percent rate.

That rate was reversed in the active roster retirements, where 38 players faced retirement but only 5 decided that this would be their final campaign. That's just a 13.2 percent rate of retiring. This was, perhaps, the lowest rate ever for one season.

As far as starters go, the retention rate was even better. Out of 22 starters up for retirement, only 2 will be leaving the game...both on Seattle.

Six teams were totally untouched by retirments. Dave teams lost just one player, Oklahoma City substitute forward L.S. Island. But Tyler teams, with the exception of Seattle, were almost as lucky, losing just 4 players.

None of the league superstars were lost. Couple that with the super low retirment rate, and we might be seeing one of the more talented versions of the MBA next season with the introduction of the 16-player rookie class.