Season 59 Retirees announced

 VERY FEW RETIRING AFTER THIS SEASON

The cut pile took the brunt of those players designated for retiring following the end of this season, with the active roster guys clinging to their MBA playing career like so many dingleberrys.

Ten of the 15 cut pile guys up for retirment decided to give up the ghost, calling it quits at an odds-defying (33 percent is normal) 66.7 percent rate.

That rate was reversed in the active roster retirements, where 38 players faced retirement but only 5 decided that this would be their final campaign. That's just a 13.2 percent rate of retiring. This was, perhaps, the lowest rate ever for one season.

As far as starters go, the retention rate was even better. Out of 22 starters up for retirement, only 2 will be leaving the game...both on Seattle.

Six teams were totally untouched by retirments. Dave teams lost just one player, Oklahoma City substitute forward L.S. Island. But Tyler teams, with the exception of Seattle, were almost as lucky, losing just 4 players.

None of the league superstars were lost. Couple that with the super low retirment rate, and we might be seeing one of the more talented versions of the MBA next season with the introduction of the 16-player rookie class.

Season 59 Featured Game 5...Philadelphia at Milwaukee

 

PHILADELPHIA 78, MILWAUKEE 72

PHOBIA OUTLASTS GRITTY GUARDS

MILWAUKEE --  Shooting a blistering 71.4 percent as a team, the Philadelphia Phobia (now 4-1) withstood a 44-point barrage by Milwaukee's guards to capture a 78-72 road win and sweep the season series. 

The Greyhounds are now 2-3.

Led by Famichiki Whiskey, the home team Greyhounds closed an 11-point gap to just 3 points at the 7 time unit mark, only to have substitute Philadelphia guard Sweet Sweety Dee bury his third trey of the game on the next time unit to seal the deal.

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

28 GVP...It's highly unusual for a losing team to get two POGs in the same contest, but its difficult to deny Milwaukee guards VICIOUS HICK and FAMICHIKI WHISKEY their just rewards. Hick, the Hall of Fame point guard, scored 21 points on 7 of 11 shooting, going 6 for 8 from deep while tying for team high in rebounds with 5 and adding a pair of assists. He was 1 for 1 from the foul line. This was his first POG this season and upped his scoring average to 18 points per game, good for fourth in the league. 

Meanwhile, Whiskey led all scorers with 23 points, also tying for team-best in boards with 5. The fouryth-year shooting guard was 8 for 21 from the floor, connecting on 3 of 7 from long range and going 4 for 5 from the foul lline. Like his running mate at guard, Whiskey is also averaging 18 points per game, giving Milwaukee two players in the top 5 in scoring. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

24 GVP...Philadelphia center Blob Dylan...13 points...6 rebounds...2 assists...2 steals...1 block.

23 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Tut Ankhamun...18 points...2 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal.

23 GVP...Philadelphia forward Leonard Pinth Garnel...12 points...5 assists...4 rebounds...1 steal...1 block.

MBA Standings … Season 59

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………4-1

DALLAS………………4-1

MILWAUKEE………..2-3

CHARLESTON……….1-4

OKLAHOMA CITY….0-4

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….4-0

SAN JOSE…………3-1

SEATTLE………….2-2

GILLETTE…………1-3

SACRAMENTO…1-3

NEXT UP:  It’s Gillette at Seattle in the next contest, as the Stampede gets ready to hunt down second-place San Jose. But then again an upset win by The Humps could move them past the Stampede in the West standings.

BONUS: Ten MBA observations (made prior to this Featured Game)

1)The league has gone defensive thus far in Season 59, with three teams (Philadelphia, Los Angeles and San Jose) currently holding opponents under 70 points per game. Last season only the champions from Philadelphia turned that trick. San Jose is the real puzzle. Last season they were dead last on D, yielding a sieve-like 85.8 points per game. The lineup is the same this season with the exception of rookie forward Waialua Blobtop who took the place of Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer.

2) As one might expect, the increased defense has left the league without even one team scoring at 80 points per game. Last season, three teams turned the trick.

3) Five teams are scoring less than 70 points per game...only Charleston did that last season.

4) Two of those five low-scoring teams, San Jose and Philadelphia, are currently holding playoff positions.

5) The Rookie of the Year race right now looks like this:

Guard Shelly Bogturtle of Oklahoma City ... 24.6 GVP

Guard Braddah Wayne of Los Angeles...21.7 GVP

Forward Waialua Blobtop of San Jose...18.4 GVP

6) The MVP race right now looks like this:

Forward Leonard Pinth Garnel of Philadelphia...33.1 MVP pts for defending MVP

Guard Pinky Toe of Los Angeles...31.6 MVP pts

Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn of Dallas...29.2 MVP pts

7) Dallas, always in the hunt, is tied for the best record in the East despite it putrid 14 rebounds per game, which is last in the league. The next worst team is Sacramento at 18.5.

8) In this defensive season, five players have already scored 30 or more points in one game, and we haven't quite hit the halfway mark yet. In all of last season, only 6 players reached the 30 or more mark in a game.

9) There were 9 barn-burners all of last season (games won by 3 points or less or overtime games). This season we have already had 8. 

10) The West is ahead of the East in cross-over wins for the first time in memory...3 to 1. Let's see if that holds up.

Season 59 Featured Game No. 4...Sacramento at Seattle...plus Bonus

SEATTLE 94, SACRAMENTO 60 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

STAMPEDE TRAMPLES DOGS 

SEATTLE -- This was a massacre in every sense of the word as Seattle, minus two starters (Juggleboy still injured, Crocidale misses second half with injury), shows off its depth and humiliates visitng Sacramento 94-60.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

38 GVP...Seattle center POOP-RUPIAH 3000 became the third MBA player to register multiple POGs this season as he ran rampant against both River Dogs pivots on the way to his second of the season. The 6-9, fifth-year man, who has either finished first or second in All-MBA teams at his position, powered his way to a game-high 24 points while snagging a game-high 7 rebounds and swiping a game-high 2 steals. He tied for game-high in blocked shots with 3 and handed out a pair of assists. He was 10 for 14 from the field with a couple of slams and a perfect 4 for 4 from the foul line. On his third team now in as many seasons, the former Rookie of the Year has been in three straight Finals but has yet to get a championship ring. He's now scoring at a 17.5 per game clip, his top career average, which puts him fourth in the scoring ranks this season.

Other 20-plus GVP performers (none from Sacramento)

25 GVP...Seattle small forward J.J. "Jake" Pickle...19 points...3 assists...2 rebounds...1 block.

21 GVP...Seattle point guard Ehhy Table...11 points...6 rebounds...4 assists.

21 GVP...Seattle substitute forward Dark Urine...13 points...3 rebounds...3 blocks...2 assists.

MBA Standings … Season 59

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS…………………3-1

PHILADELPHIA………3-1

MILWAUKEE………..2-2

CHARLESTON……….1-3

OKLAHOMA CITY….0-4

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….3-0

SAN JOSE…………3-0

SEATTLE………….2-2

GILLETTE…………1-3

SACRAMENTO…1-3

NEXT UP:  Bracket 4 concludes with a game between the MBA’s only two unbeaten teams, as the shocking seniors from San Jose visit the powerful Los Angeles Big One.  Vegas has L.A. by 12 points.

BONUS

THE WINNERS OF EVERY REBOUNDING TITLE IN MBA HISTORY

Season 59 Featured Game 3...Oklahoma at Dallas...plus bonus

DALLAS 77, OKLAHOMA CITY 71 (OVERTIME)

DEMONS 'D' WINS THE DAY

DALLAS -- The difference in this hard-fought overtime win for Dallas (now 2-1) was its superior defense, which most notably showed up in the short overtime period where the Demons completely shut out the visiting Lariats (now 0-3), leading to a 77-71 triumph.

These two teams came into the game as the two top scoring teams in the MBA, but it was Dallas preventing 11 points overall to just 2 for Oklahoma City, that made all the difference. Ten blocked shots by the Demons to just 2 for the Lariats told part of the story, as did 9 turnovers caused by the victors to just 3 by the visitors. Meanwhile, Oklahoma City held a gigantic rebounding advantage in the game (29-10) to keep them in contention. But the only points prevented by the Lariats (2) came in the first quarter.

The biggest defensive play came at the horn in regulation, when Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop blocked what would have been a game-winning basket by Kevin Duran-Duran. It was Kenpoop's game-leading 6th blocked shot of the day.

As has been its unfortunate wont...Oklahoma City played another tough team close...coming back from a 10-point deficit...only to watch victory elude them again.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

34 GVP...Five-year Dallas veteran MINI CARFARTT and Oklahoma City rookie Shelly Bogturtle had a point guard battle royale, with the 5-10 Carfartt and company edging his opponent for POG honors. Carfartt was too much to handle offensively, becoming the third player this season to top the 30-point mark as he did so on the dot. His 30 points came on 13 for 19 shooting (2 for 3 from deep and 2 for 2 at the foul line). He added 2 assists, 1 rebound and 1 steal and was tied for second in causing turnovers. Plus, he scored 4 of the 6 Dallas overtime points. He's now averaging 16 points a game for the campaign.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

33 GVP...Oklahoma City rookie point guard Shelly Bogturtle...first triple-double...21 points...5 rebounds...6 assists...1 blocked shot.

31 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...first triple-double...16 points...6 blocks...5 assists...3 rebounds...1 steal...tops in points prevented and tops in turnovers caused.

26 GVP...Oklahoma City rookie center Bobby "the Squirrel" Diggenbury off the bench...16 points...8 rebounds...2 assists.

22 GVP...Oklahoma City small forward Rumpy Pumpy Lewis...12 points...8 rebounds...1 steal...1 assist...second in turnovers caused.

20 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...14 points...4 blocked shots...1 rebound...1 assist

Points prevented by quarters and overtime

Oklahoma City...2...0...0...0...0  Total=2

Dallas.................3...0...4...4...0  Total=11

Top players in points prevented

1. Nick Kenpoop, Dallas...8

2. Juzan Djinn, Dallas...2

2. Kevin Duran-Duran, Oklahoma City 2

Turnovers caused by quarters and overtime

Oklahoma City...0...0...2...1...0  Total=3

Dallas.................4...1...1...3...0  Total=9

Top players in turnovers caused

1. Nick Kenpoop, Dallas...4

2. Mini Carfartt, Dallas...2

2. Rumpy Pumpy Lewis, Oklahoma City...2

BONUS

ONE OBSERVATION ABOUT EACH TEAM SO FAR

LOS ANGELES…leads the league in points differential at plus 11.5 in 2 games

SAN JOSE…has yielded just 63 points per game compared to league-worst 85.3 last season.

SEATTLE…after being a preseason playoff favorite two seasons in a row, has again started 1-2

SACRAMENTO…pitiful free throwing at 53.3 percent (58.2 last season) hasn’t hurt….yet.

GILLETTE…worst point differential in the league at minus 13.5.

PHILADELPHIA…Best defense last season (65.3 per game) is even better at 58.2 per game.

OKLAHOMA CITY…offense is second in league but they can’t stop anyone…defense is worst in MBA.

MILWAUKEE…front court lacks even one player shooting at 60 percent clip.

CHARLESTON…MBA’s smallest lineup leads the league in rebounding.

DALLAS…Lost top scoring center in league to free agency, but leads the league in scoring.

 

Season 59 Featured Game 2...Oklahoma City at Sacramento

 SACRAMENTO 81, OKLAHOMA CITY 79

R-DOGS HANG ON IN THRILLER

SACRAMENTO -- The home team River Dogs (now 1-1) withstood a furious comeback rally by the visiting Lariats from Oklahoma City (now 0-2) to win a classic 81-79 cross-over contest.

Sacramento led by 13 early in the fourth quarter when Oklahoma City, led by veteran power forward Kevin Duran-Duran went on a tear to close within a point with 16 ticks remaining. A rare bucket by defensive ace Harrison Buttcracker at the 10 mark got the lead back to 3 for the home team, but Duran-Duran brought the Lariats to within 1 again with 4 time units remaining. 

That's when the chief R-Dog, Rabbit Munchers buried his 7th trey of the game, giving Sacramento a 4-point advantage. A game-ending basket by Oklahoma City merely brought the Lariats to within 2 for the final score.

The win by Sacramento gives the West a 2-0 early advantage in cross-overs. 

And Oklahoma City, a preseason playoff favorite is 0-2, having suffered  4- and 2-point losses.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

40 GVP...After getting booted from the game early in the first quarter for fighting in the season opener, Sacramento's star point guard RABBIT MUNCHERS let it all hang out in this one, potting 7 bombs on the way to a game-high 31 points, including the deciding trey to finish off the Lariats. Munchers destroyed Oklahoma City's promising rookie Shelly Bogturtle, playing outstanding defense that negated multiple baskets. The 6-3 Munchers was 12 for 22 from the floor, going 7 for 14 from beyond the arc (0 for 3 from the foul line), while tying for the team lead in rebounds (5), blocked shots (2) and assists (2). So despite getting just 4 points in the few time units he played in his first game, Munchers is averaging 17.5 ppg in this young season.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

36 GVP...Oklahoma City power forward Kevin Duran-Duran...29 points...5 rebounds...1 steal...1 assist.

25 GVP...Oklahoma City small forward Rumpy Pumpy Lewis...19 points...4 rebounds...1 steal...1 assist.

MBA Standings … Season 59

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………2-0

CHARLESTON……….1-1

DALLAS…………………1-1

OKLAHOMA CITY….0-2

MILWAUKEE………..0-2

 

WEST DIVISION

SAN JOSE…………2-0

LOS ANGELES….1-0

SEATTLE………….1-1

SACRAMENTO…1-1

GILLETTE…………0-1

NEXT UP:  The second bracket concludes with Gillette visiting Los Angeles. The Big One pulled out a 3-point win against Sacramento in their initial outing and Gillette was the first ambush victim of the Ancient Ones from San Jose. This game features the point guard battle of Pinky Toe for L.A. and Maboroshi No Hotcake from Gillette.

Season 59 Featured Game No. 1...Dallas at Seattle

SEATTLE 81, DALLAS 79

STAMPEDE HANGS ON AGAINST DEMONS

SEATTLE -- The preseason favorite Seattle Stampede, leading by 11 down the home stretch, withstood a furious comeback attempt by visiting Dallas and escaped with a season-opening 81-79 cross-over triumph.

Points Prevented by Quarters

Dallas...2...0...3...2...Total=7

Seattle..5...2...2...0...Total=9

Points Prevented Leaders

1. Juzan Djinn, Dallas 4

2. Ehhy Table, Seattle 3

2. Johnny Cumlately, Dallas 3

Turnovers Caused by Quarters

Dallas...2...2...0...2...Total=6

Seattle...0...1...5...1...Total=7

Turnovers Caused Leaders

1. Hooza Goodboi, Seattle 4

2. St. Ides, Dallas 3

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

25 GVP...It's very unusual for the losing team to have two players represented as Players of the Game, but we're not going to argue with the GVP system in this tight contest. 6-10 Dallas power forward NICK KENPOOP led all scorers with 18 points while pulling down 4 boards and handing out 3 assists. The fifth-year veteran was 8 for 10 from the floor with 3 slams and 2 of 4 from the foul stripe.

25 GVP...Picked up by Dallas in the cut draft, veteran center ST. IDES actually dominated last season's All-MBA pivot Poop-Rupiah 3000 in his debut for the Demons. Ides scored 14 points on 4 of 8 shooting with 2 slams while going a perfect 6 for 6 from the foul line. He led the Demons with 5 rebounds and also led everyone in both assists with 4 and steals with 2. The 6-9 Ides caused 3 turnovers, good for second-most in the game. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

22 GVP...Seattle small forward J.J. "Jake" Pickle...15 points...3 rebounds...3 assists...1 block

22 GVP...Dallas small forward Venial Sinn...16 points...3 rebounds...2 assists...1 block.

20 GVP...Seattle point guard Ehhy Table...16 points...3 rebounds...1 assist...3 points prevented.

Check out those East standings...you are not likely to see San Jose in first place again this season, but the old boys are reveling in it for now.

NEXT UP: Bracket 2 starts with Dallas trying to even up its record against Milwaukee, with the FEATURED GAME being the fourth one in the bracket...Oklahoma City at Sacramento.

Season 59 Preview

 THE WEST...Seattle looks like the class of the league and L.A. a solid bet for second.

1st (unanimous)--SEATTLE STAMPEDE (4th last season at 4-6)...Talented, deep roster is the favorite to win it all under rookie head coach Briscoe Darling. The key was adding two-time All-MBA center Poop-Rupiah 3000, a major upgrade over Hooza Goodboi in the pivot. Add forwards Erik A. Crocidale and J.J. "Jake" Pickle and you have an extrordinary front line. Ehhy Table and Sleepy Mel A. Tonin are solid guards. Adding veteran forward Dark Urine gives capable back-up at all three positions. First title since the only one in Season 37?

2nd(unanimous)--LOS ANGELES BIG ONE (1st last season at 8-2)...Lost Hall of Fame guard Vicious Hick but got the prize rookie Braddah Wayne to replace him. Pinky Toe moves to the point for a still-potent back court duo. It's imperative for oft-injured power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho to stay healthy and for defensive-minded Big Blue Bottle to play a solid small forward. Except for guard Donny DuPons, bench is weak.

3rd Dave, 4th Tyler--SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS (2nd last season at 7-3)...Jack "Guzzler" Masterson must replace retired star Satan Israel in otherwise unchanged lineup. R-Dogs will be tested right out of the gate in the opener against the team they have to beat out for playoffs, Los Angeles. Rabbit Munchers needs to be All-MBA.

4th Dave, 3rd Tyler--GILLETTE HUMPS (3rd last season at 4-6)...Star guard Maboroshi No Hotcake and center Brother Jasper will both score. But 5-7 rookie guard Officer Poundcake plays no D, and who starts at forward with Zach Zigler?

Last (unanimous)--SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS (Last last season at 2-8)...Added promising forward Waialua Blobtop to ancient lineup.

THE EAST...Playoff picks are surprisingly unanimous, with defending champs dropping down. Last-minute trade could be key for Oklahoma City.

1st Dave, 2nd Tyler--DALLAS DEMONS (2nd last season8-2)...Surprisingly the top pick in the East despite losing All-MBA center Poop-Rupiah 3000. The roster appears less talented than last season, but they still have Hall of Famer Juzan Djinn and Mini Carfartt at guards to lead the way. Djinn, in 10th season, and coming off best scoring campaign, will have to shine brighter than ever. Forwards Nick Kenpoop and Venial Sinn are solid, if not stars. Veteran St. Ides takes over in the pivot.

1st Tyler, 2nd Dave-- OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS (3rd last season at 4-6) ...Replaced half the roster since last season, adding promising rookie guard Shelly Bogturtle and Harry "Big Stink" Merdaio at center to the starting lineup. The rental trade of Merdaio is huge for the Lariats, especially if last season's Rookie of the Year Bonafazio Spegatini matches or exceeds last season's production. Can Oklahoma City beat out Philly and Milwaukee for playoffs?

3rd Dave, 4th Tyler PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA (MBA champs last season at 9-1)...Retirement of leading scorer Itstha Bishop at two guard leaves gaping hole for champs who still have two of the league's best players in last season's MVP Leonard Pinth Garnel at forward and Blob Dylan at center.

4th (D picked them last, T picked them 3rd) MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS (last at 1-9 last season)... Guard combo of Hall of Famer Vicious Hick and Famichiki Whiskey will be exciging.

Last Tyler, 4th Dave CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS (4th last season at 3-7)...Not much hope.

The only TRADE this season....Oklahoma City traded its first pick (protected) in next season's draft to Philly for a one-season rental of their backup center Harry Merdaio, who returns to Philly after this season assuming he does not retire. Protected pick means that if the Oklahoma City first pick is a prime pick, Philly then gets Oklahoma City's second pick.

ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS

Dave

Guard...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles

Guard...Braddah Wayne, Los Angeles

Center...Poop-Rupiah 3000, Seattle

Forward...Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia

Forward...J.J. "Jake" Pickle, Seattle

Tyler

Guard...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles

Guard...Maboroshi No Hotcake, Gillette

Center...Poop-Rupiah 3000, Seattle

Forward...Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia

Forward...Erik A. Crocidale, Seattle

LEAGUE MVP...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles (unanimous)

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

Dave--Braddah Wayne, Los Angeles guard

Tyler--Shelly Bogturtle, Oklahoma City guard

NEXT UP: The opening game of Season 59...Sacramento at Los Angeles...some might say a must win right out of the gate for the River Dogs.