Season 58 All Star Rosters announced...plus history and extras

The East has won 36 All Star Games. The West has 21 wins, including last season's 84-64 victory led by All Star Game MVP Vicious Hick of Los Angeles who led the way with a game-high 21 points.

-- With his All Star Game selection, Dallas' Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn, the face of the current MBA, has now earned 22 awards on his card, which ties him for third-most in league history with Max Payne and Chip Battoe. Only Naff Naff, with 23 awards and Curly Hogbottom, at the top of the pyramid with 25, have more.

-- This is the seventh time Djinn has made the starting lineup for an All Star Game, which ties him for second place in that category with Hall of Famers Boone Doggle and Uncle Bob Masterson. He is one behind the all-time leader Momadou Zongo, with 8 starts.

-- Djinn is currently 7th in All Star Game scoring with 107 points...Uncle Bob Masterson is first all-time with 158.

-- Djinn already has the most assists in All Star Game history with 21.

-- Djinn already has the most blocks in All Star Game history with 22.

-- Just 7 of the 20 All Stars made last season's All Star rosters.

-- None of the East starters for this coming All Star Game made the All Star roster last season. In fact, only Poop-Rupiah 3000 and Phillip Mianus from the East, were on last season's All Star roster.

-- Five West players made last year's All Star Game.

-- The only two players who started last season and this season are Pinky Toe of Los Angeles and J.J. "Jake" Pickle of Seattle.

-- Two of the four current Hall of Fame players made the All Star Game...Juzan Djinn of Dallas and Vicious Hick of Los Angeles. Chochky Galumpkus of San Jose was injured early in the season and Crentis Dentist of Seattle is no longer a starter. 

-- The most players from any one rookie class to make this All Star Game come from Season 54...Leonard Pinth-Garnel, Tut Ankhamun, Pinky Toe, Brother Jasper, Vicious Hick and Hilbee Juggleboy.

-- There are eight first-time All Stars in this game, including the only rookie, Bonafazio Spegatini of Oklahoma City.

-- This will be the final All Star Game for Oklahoma City center Johnny Bananas and Los Angeles forward Phillip Mianus. Both will retire at the conclusion of this season.

20-plus GVP players who did not make the team

-- Bellybutton Inquisition of Sacramento (21.2 GVP)

-- Maboroshi No Hotcake of Gillette (21.8 GVP)

-- Duran-Duran of Oklahoma City (20.0 GVP)

-- Scobee Bryant of Milwaukee (21.6 GVP)

-- Venial Sinn of Dallas (21.2 GVP)

-- Eric A. Crocidale of Seattle (20.2 GVP)

-- Two retiring players who would have made the Hall of Fame had they been named to the All Star Game failed to gain their 10th award ... Satan Israel of Sacramento (18.6 GVP) and Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose (19.4 GVP). 

This is the sixth time that Sacramento has hosted the All Star Game, and the West has won four of the previous five held at the home of the River Dogs. They are:

-- Season 10...West 94, East 82...MVP and top scorer, Hall of Fame forward Marshall Stax of Oklahoma City (30 points).

-- Season 16...West 87, East 75...MVP Z.Z. Magoo of Dallas...top scorer Piston Honda of Chicago (22 points).

Season 25...East 82, West 80...MVPs (3-way tie) Hall of Famer Boone Doggle of Chicago, Sammy Zazooch of Milwaukee and Marcus Pettis of Oklahoma City. Pettis was the top scorer with 19 points.

Season 34...West 74, East 68...MVP Smokey Talisker of Seattle (the first of back to back ASG MVPs)...top scorer Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi of Houston (22 points).

Season 42...West 71, East 69...MVP and top scorer... Ginger Vampire of Oklahoma City 24 points.

Season 58 Featured Game No. 5...Gillette at Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES 88, GILLETTE 83

BIG ONE GETS OVER THE HUMPS

LOS ANGELES -- After starting Season 58 with a four-game road trip, the home team Los Angeles Big One (now 5-0) held off the charges of an obstinate Gillette team (now 1-4) by a score of 88-83 to secure a perfect record at the All Star break.

Both teams shot over 60 percent in the game, but the Big One had major advantages in both rebounding (23-14) and free throwing (16 made to 7). Still, Gillette had the home crowd sweating bullets as the Humps led by 7 points in the fourth quarter with 41 time units remaining. But the prospect of victory for the visitors dimmed considerably when star guard Maboroshi No Hotcake fouled out with 38 ticks left and his team ahead by just 4. 

Ten time units later Los Angeles tied the game, then took the lead for good at the 20 time unit mark. 

PLAYER OF THE GAME

32 GVP...Journeyman ball-handling wizard SEEYALATER SCRONTO comes up with these kinds of superb games every once in a while, and his efforts in this loss kept things interesting to the very end. The 5-11, seventh-season guard put on a show with a game-high 24-point performance that included a game-high 5 assists, a steal and a blocked shot as he went toe-to-toe with his opposite, Pinky Toe. The diminutive Scronto went 9 for 18 from the floor, including 2 of 5 from deep and 4 of 4 from the foul line. He had a total of 29 points in the first four games of the season before nearly matching that number in this game. Scronto is playing for his fourth different team in seven seasons and third different team in the past three campaigns (including spending half of last season in the cut pile). He's now averaging 10.6 ppg.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

30 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard Pinky Toe...23 points...3 rebounds...3 assists...1 steal.

28 GVP...Los Angeles power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...20 points...6 rebounds...1 block...1 assist. 

22 GVP...Gillette point guard Maboroshi No Hotcake...19 points...2 assists...1 rebound. 
21 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "The Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...15 points...3 rebounds...2 assists...1 blocked shot. 

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………4-0

DALLAS………………3-2

OKLAHOMA CITY…..3-2

CHARLESTON……….2-3

MILWAUKEE………..1-4

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….5-0

SACRAMENTO… 3-2

SEATTLE………….2-3

GILLETTE…………1-4

SAN JOSE…………0-4

NEXT UP: The first half of Season 58 concludes with a thud of a game as the league’s only win-less team, San Jose, travels to Philadelphia to face one of the two remaining unbeaten MBA squads. This cross-over will likely give the East a familiar 4-1 victory mark over the West at the mid-point. To further emphasize the disparity of the two teams, Philly has the best defense in the MBA, yielding just 63 points per game, while San Jose has the worst defense, giving up 88.8 ppg.

BONUS

MBA MVP LADDER

(leading candidates coming into Featured Game)

Dave picked Djinn to win the MVP and he’s rebounded from a sub-par season (for him) to take a somewhat dominant lead in the MVP race. Meanwhile, the move to small forward for Leonard Pinth Garnel has allowed his talents to shine brighter than ever. He’s having an outstanding season. Coincidentally, Philadelphia traded the man in third place at the moment to Oklahoma City, receiving Philibuck Davia in return, which allowed the Garnel move to small forward. Spegatini has been outstanding in the first half of the season for the Lariats.

1. Ninth-year Dallas 6-2 Hall of Fame guard JUZAN DJINN 31.4 GVP plus 4 points for second place team = 35.4…Second in league in scoring (22.6 ppg)…third in free throwing (82.8 % with 24 made)…Second in blocked shots (15)…top scoring game of season (36 points)…two-time regular season MVP…three-time playoff MVP.

2.  Fifth-year Philadelphia 6-10 small forward LEONARD PINTH GARNEL 28.8 GVP plus 5 points for first place team = 33.8….top rebounder in league (7.5)…second in assists (4.5)…third in 3-point shooting (80 % with 4 made)…second in steals (5).

3. Oklahoma City 6-5  rookie shooting guard BONAFAZIO SPEGATINI 28.6 GVP plus 3 points for third place team = 31.6…third in league scoring (21.6 ppg)

 

MBA ROOKIE LADDER

(leading candidates coming into Featured Game)

The Spegatini trade described in the former section gave the shooting guard a chance to start, which he would not have had with Philadelphia. He’s seized the opportunity big time. Both Dave and Tyler picked Zigler to win the Rookie honor.

1. Oklahoma City 6-5 shooting guard BONAFAZIO SPEGATINI…28.6 GVP…21.6 ppg

2. Charleston 5-9 point guard HUMUHUM APUA…21.4 GVP…15.8 ppg

3. Gillette 6-8 forward ZACH “ZING-ZING” ZIGLER…16.4 GVP…12.3 ppg

Season 58 retirements

 19 Players...including 6 starters...1 Hall of Famer and 7 poor souls from the cut pile announced their retirements Thursday evening.

As Tyler observed, "A lot of talent is leaving the league," including near Hall of Fame players Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose and Satan Israel of Sacramento. 

Two-time All-MBA center Johnny Bananas of Oklahoma City will be hanging it up and two All-MBA players from last season, two-time league-leading scorer, guard Itstha Bishop of Philadelphia and forward Phillip Mianus of Los Angeles.

Although two Dave teams (young Charleston and Gillette) escaped retirements completely, the number of retirees and starters were equal for both owners.

Dave--6 retirees, 3 starters

Tyler--6 retires, 3 starters

Six teams lost one starter each and no team lost multiple starters.

Season 58 Featured Game 4...Dallas at Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA 76, DALLAS 75

BAD KARMA TOSS WINS IT FOR PHOBIA

PHILADELPHIA -- Dallas guard Karma Chameleon missed what would have been a game-tying free throw with no time on the clock and the home team Philadelphia Phobia remained unbeaten and atop the East Division standings at 4-0.

The loss keeps the six-time defending champion Demons in third place at 2-2.

The nip and tuck game was the third straight barn-burner on the MBA schedule decided by 1 or 2 points.

Chameleon, aquired in an off-season trade with Sacramento, came off the bench for the fouled out Mini Carfartt, who was in foul trouble the entire contest. Chameleon hit a medium jump shot and was fouled at the horn to put the Demons within a point of Philadelphia...but he missed the free throw. 

The game was worthy of FEATURED GAME status, as neither team was ever able to gain more than an 8 point advantage throughout. That desperation full court shot at the half by Blob Dylan of Philly sure came in handy for the Phobia.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Dallas...9...5...3...6   Total=23

Philly...2...0...0...8    Total=10

POINTS PREVENTED LEADERS

1. Poop-Rupiah 3000, Dallas 10 

2. Blob Dylan, Philadelphia 6

3. Juzan Djinn, Dallas 5

PLAYER OF THE GAME

39 GVP...He once spent an entire season in the cut pile, but "THE PHAROAH" TUT ANKHAMUN slowly worked his way into sticking with a team and giving good time units off the bench before finally being given a chance this season (his fifth) to start in the MBA. And as the point guard for the still undefeated Philadelphia Phobia, the 6-footer has proven his value as a team leader, capturing his second POG in four games. Ankhamun and his 19 first-half points pretty much kept Philadelphia in the game before his teammates began contributing in the third quarter and beyond. In this important showdown he scored a game-high 29 points, going 11 for 21, potting 4 of 7 3-point shots and sinking 3 of 4 from the foul line. Additionally, he led his team with 6 rebounds and posted a game-high 3 assists, adding 1 steal before fouling out with 16 ticks left. He's now averaging 18.3 points per game and stands a solid chance of making his first All Star Game appearance. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

31 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...24 points (3 treys)...4 rebounds...2 assists...1 blocked shot...5 points prevented

25 GVP...Dallas forward Venial Sinn...11 points (3 slams)...10 rebounds...2 blocks...2 assists.

20 GVP...Philadelphia center Blob Dylan...13 points...3 rebounds...2 blocks...2 assists...6 points prevented.

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………4-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..2-1

DALLAS…………………2-2

MILWAUKEE………..1-3

CHARLESTON……….1-3

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….3-0

SACRAMENTO… 2-1

SEATTLE………….1-2

GILLETTE…………1-2

SAN JOSE…………0-3

NEXT UP: Win-less San Jose missing their Hall of Fame center, at Sacramento. Should be a win for the R-Dogs, but you never know in the MBA.

Season 58 Featured Game...Sacramento at Seattle...plus bonus

SACRAMENTO 80, SEATTLE 66

MUNCHERS EATS UP STAMPEDE

SEATTLE -- The Sacramento River Dogs (now 2-1) scored a major early-season road win behind the 31-point

performance of point guard Rabbit Munchers, taking down the Seattle Stampede (now 1-2) 80-66.

It was the best game of the fourth-year guard's career, giving Sacramento fans hope that the long-distance gunner could lead them to a playoff spot after two consecutive last-place finishes. 

Meanwhile, Seattle, one of the preseason favorites to win the West, has now lost two in a rowd. And things don't get any easier for the Stampede as they host unbeaten Los Angeles in their next contest.

This game was nip and tuck until the fourth quarter, with Sacramento leading 57-54 arfter three. The River Dogs then left the Stampede in the dust, out-scoring them 23-12 for the victory. 

In its two back-to-back losses, Seattle has failed to reach 70 points.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

34 GVP...This might, indeed be the breakout season for Sacramento's fourth-year guard RABBIT MUNCHERS, who improved his 3-point shot in the off-season and saw it pay dividends in this big victory against Seattle. The 6-3 Munchers drilled 7 of 9 from beyond the arc, going 11 for 19 from the floor in a career-best 31-point performance. He added 2 for 2 from the charity stripe, 1 rebound, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot. He did all that despite being guarded by a fine defender in Ehhy Table of Seattle. Munchers started the season slowly but in the last two games has picked up the pace for 18 and 31 point efforts. He's got R-Dog fans dreaming again.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

25 GVP...Seattle power forward Eric A. Crocidale...16 points (6 slams)...5 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal...1 block

23 GVP...Seattle small forward J.J. "Jake" Pickle...15 points...5 rebounds...2 assists...1 block.

22 GVP...Sacramento two guard Bellybutton Inquisition...16 points...5 assists...1 rebound.

22 GVP...Seattle point guard Ehhy Table...16 points...4 rebounds...2 assists.

20 GVP...Seattle two guard Hilbee "the Skinny German" Juggleboy...13 points...4 blocked shots...2 assists...1 rebound.

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………1-0

DALLAS…………………1-1

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-1

CHARLESTON……….1-1

MILWAUKEE………..0-1

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….2-0

SACRAMENTO… 2-1

GILLETTE…………1-1

SEATTLE………….1-2

SAN JOSE…………0-2

NEXT UP:  First-place, unbeaten Los Angeles at last-place, win-less San Jose, with the Amigos missing Hall of Fame center Chochky Galumpkus. Slaughter rule game expected.

BONUS

ALL TIME TRIPLE-DOUBLE LEADERS

1. Great Gruncle Terry…17 (including one quadruple double)

2. Jimsy Redfern…16 (including one quadruple double)

3. Tom “the Bomb” Kondla…11 (including the only triple-double season ever)

3. Chip “the Crip” Battoe…11

5. Marcus Pettis…9

5. Beezow Bop-Bop…9

7. Max Payne…8

7. Juzan Djinn…8 (active)

9.  Shucks Oyster…7

9. J.D. Jedreat…7 (including one quadruple double)

9. Tug Hershorts…7

9. Diss Reflexia…7

9. Wawa Wewa…7

 

ACTIVE TRIPLE DOUBLE LEADERS

1. Juzan Djinn…8

2, Ehhy Table…5

2. Vicious Hick…5

4. Leonard Pinth-Garnel…4

5. Hilbee Juggleboy…3

5. Poop-Rupiah 3000…3

 

Season 58 Featured Game No. 2...Dallas at Oklahoma City with bonus

DALLAS 101, OKLAHOMA CITY 94

SCOREBOARD MELTDOWN GAME TO DEMONS

OKLAHOMA CITY -- In one of the wildest, highest-scoring games in MBA history, the six-time defending champion Dallas Demons (now 1-1) out-pointed their stubborn opponents from last season's Finals, the Oklahoma City Lariats (now 1-1) 101-94.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

49 GVP...One of the all-time MBA greats, Dallas Hall of Fame guard JUZAN DJINN, put on a show for the Oklahoma City fandom, racking up his eigth triple-double before fouling out to an appreciative standing ovation. Djinn, now in his ninth season, scored a game-high 36 points, handed out a game-high 6 assists, tied for a game-high 5 rebounds and tied for a game-high 2 blocked shots as he flirted with a 50 GVP performance. The 6-2 two guard was 15 for 22 from the floor, potting 4 of 10 from beyond the arc and going 2 for 3 from the foul line. It was the highest scoring game of his illustrious career, coming after his lowest-scoring campaign during which he failed to garner any individual awards. This was, it would seem, a clarion call that Juzan Djinn is far from through. After two games, he's averaging 25 points per game. His 8 triple-doubls lead all active players.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

31 GVP...Oklahoma City center Johnny Bananas...26 points (7 slams)...2 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal.

30 GVP...Oklahoma City rookie two guard Bonafazio Spegatini...26 points (4 treys)...2 rebounds...1 assist...1 steal.

27 GVP...Dallas forward Venial Sinn...21 points...3 rebounds...1 blocked shot...1 assist...1 steal...4 points prevented.

25 GVP...Dallas free-agent center Poop-Rupiah 3000...19 points...3 rebounds...2 assists...1 blocked shot...8 for 8 shooting.

21 GVP...Oklahoma City free-agent forward Rumpy Pumpy Lewis...18 points...3 rebounds.

20 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...10 points...5 rebounds...4 assists...1 blocked shot.

POINTS PREVENTED

Dallas...4

Oklahoma City 9

Tops in Points prevented

1. Oblio Assbag, Oklahoma City 7

2. Venial Sinn, Dallas 4

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………1-0

DALLAS…………………1-1

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-1

CHARLESTON……….0-1

MILWAUKEE………..0-1

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….2-0

SEATTLE………….1-0

GILLETTE…………1-1

SACRAMENTO… 1-1

SAN JOSE…………0-2

NEXT UP:  A cross-over between Charleston and Seattle, in the Pacific Northwest. Seattle looked like a juggernaut in its 111-point opening day win over San Jose. They should handle the young Mountaineers (see bonus), no problem.

BONUS

YOUNGEST TO OLDEST

STARTING LINEUPS

1.       Charleston 16 seasons total … 3.2 per starter

2.       Los Angeles 22 seasons total… 4.4 per starter

3.       Seattle 24 seasons total…………4.8 per starter

3.    Gillette 24 seasons total………..4.8 per starter

5.    Milwaukee 25 seasons total…..5.0 per starter

6.    Sacramento 26 seasons total….5.2 per starter

6.    Dallas 26 seasons total……………5.2 per starter

8.    Philadelphia 28 seasons total….5.6 per starter

9.    Oklahoma City 29 seasons total.5.8 per starter

10.  San Jose 67 seasons total………..13.4 per starter

 

 

YOUNGEST TO OLDEST 

ROSTERS

1. Charleston…29 seasons total…2.9 per player

2. Sacramento.39 seasons total…3.9 per player

3. Milwaukee…41 seasons total…4.1 per player

4. Los Angeles..42 seasons total…4.2 per player

5. Dallas………….46 seasons total…4.6 per player

6. Seattle………..51 seasons total…5.1 per player

6. Gillette………..51 seasons total…5.1 per player

8. Philadelphia..53 seasons total…5.3 per player

9. Okl. City………55 seasons total…5.5 per player

10. San Jose……93 seasons total….9.3 per player

 

Season 58 Featured Game 1...Los Angeles at Dallas

 Defending champs slaughtered

DALLAS -- The new-look Dallas Demons got their head handed to them to open Season 58 as the visiting Los Angeles Big One slaughter-ruled the six-time defending champions 80-58.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

33 GVP...Fifth-year Los Angeles star PINKY TOE went off for 15 first-quarter points on the way to a game-high 26-point output, leading the visiting Big One to an opening night victory. Toe was 11 for 20 from the floor, despite being guarded by the defensive octopus that is Juzan Djinn (who blocked a game-high 6 shots). Toe was 1 for 5 from deep but a perfect 3 for 3 from the foul line. He also pulled down 5 rebounds and handed out 2 assists in a fine start to the season.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

24 GVP...Los Angeles Hall of Fame point guard Vicious Hick...16 points (4 treys)...4 rebounds...3 assists...1 steal.

23 GVP...Los Angeles free agent power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...11 points...8 rebounds...2 assists...2 steals.

21 GVP...Los Angeles free agent small forward Phillip Mianus...14 points...5 rebounds...1 block...1 assist. 

21 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...14 points...6 blocks...1 steal.

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

OKLAHOMA CITY…..

CHARLESTON……….

MILWAUKEE………..

DALLAS…………………0-1

PHILADELPHIA………

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….1-0

SEATTLE………….

GILLETTE…………

SAN JOSE…………

SACRAMENTO…

NEXT UP:  Division play begins in the West as Seattle hosts San Jose. The home team Stampede will be the third championship contending team to debut this season and should make short work of San Jose, which is projected for last place.