Thursday, May 14, 2026

Season 58 Playoffs...SemiFinals Game 1...Sacramento at Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA 72,  SACRAMENTO 66

PHOBIA'S 'D' TOO MUCH FOR R-DOGS

PHILADELPHIA -- The Philadelphia defense, best by far in the MBA this season, prevented 19 River Dogs points in this 72-66 Game 1 win, six more than Sacramento's could muster, and six was the margin of victory.

Down by as much as 10 in the third quarter, Sacramento closed to within 3 points twice in the fourth and by 4 with 18 left, but they could not get any closer.

The 6-11, 6-10, 6-10 front line of the victors, who captured their fifth consecutive win, pounded out a 28-19 rebounding advantage to grab their first playoff win in eight seasons. And while the Phobia shot 60.7 percent from the floor, they held the visitors to just 47.4 percent. 

Sacramento's biggest advantage came from beyond the arc, where they out-did Philly 6 treys to zip.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Sacramento...0...11...0...2   Total=13

Philadelphia..4...10...4...1   Total=19


Individual leaders points prevented

1. Blob Dylan, Philadelphia 7

1. Leonard Pinth Garnel, Philadelphia 7

3. Satan Israel, Sacramento 6


TURNOVERS CAUSED

Philadelphia caused 2 turnovers, both in the first quarter

Sacramento caused 0 turnovers

The individual who led in turnovers caused was Tut Ankhamun of Philadelphia with 2.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

28 GVP...We said in the preview for this series that Philadelphia had a major advantage at center, and the Phobia's BLOB DYLAN immediately asserted that upper hand in the pivot in Game 1. The 6-11 sixth-year defensive genius dominated his man Ab3rd, tying for most points prevented while also tying for game-high scoring honors with 18 points and game-high in rebounds with 7 and blocked shots with 2,  adding 1 assist. He was 8 of 12 from the floor and 2 for 2 from the foul line in a continuation of what has been his best offensive season. 


Other 20-plus GVP performers
27 GVP...Philadelphia power forward Philibuck Davia...18 points...7 rebounds...2 assists.
22 GVP...Philadelphia small forward Leonard Pinth Garnel...12 points...6 rebounds...3 assists...1 blocked shot...tied for most points prevented.
21 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Tut "the Pharoa" Ankhamun...10 points...8 assists...2 rebounds...1 steal...game-high 2 turnovers caused
21 GVP...Sacramento point guard Rabbit Munchers...18 points (5 treys)...2 rebounds...1 assist.
20 GVP...Sacramento's retiring power forward Satan Israel...17 points (3 slams)...3 rebounds...third in points prevented.


NEXT UP: The Champs from Dallas look to close out Los Angeles in Big D.




Tuesday, May 12, 2026

Season 58 Playoffs...SemiFinals Game 1...Dallas at Los Angeles

DALLAS 75, LOS ANGELES 66

DEMONS DOWN HICK-LESS L.A.

LOS ANGELES -- The very first roll of the dice in the Season 58 playoffs was disastrous for Los Angeles, as the fans of the Big One watched Hall of Fame point guard Vicious Hick go down to a 3-game injury, seriously damaging the team's hopes for a championship run.

L.A., with usually reliable guard Donnie DuPons in for Hick, hung in there for most of the contest...even leading at the end of the first and third quarters, before coming apart in the fourth to lose to the six-time-defending champs from Dallas, 75-66.

The Demons, who came into post-season riding a 6-game winning streak, avenged an 80-58 shellacking by L.A. that kicked off the campaign, as they held the number one shooting percentage team (60.6 percent) to just 45 percent accuracy. Dupons came up small in that department, going just 3 for 12 from the floor.

Dallas was forced to play rookie forward Fashion Boy Vuitton for the better part of the game when Demons' forward Nick Kenpoop sucker punched Phillip Mianus of L.A., leading to a brawl and the ejection of Kenpoop.  

The home team could not capitalize on a 10-rebound advantage, and as the game slipped away late in the fourth, Los Angeles coach Naceg Gecan, with red-faced frustration, laid into the referees, leading to a technical foul with 6 time units remaining.


PLAYERS OF THE GAME

26 GVP...Hall of Fame guard JUZAN DJINN took control of the game in the fourth quarter like he has so many times in the past for Dallas. The All-MBA stud did not have a great shooting day, going just 3 for 12 (1 for 4 from deep and 6 for 6 from the foul line), but contributed, as usual, in many other ways in this win. He led everyone in assists with 6, tied for team rebounding honors with 4 and  blocked a game-high 3 shots. His man, Pinky Toe, did not score in the second half and fouled out of the game.
AND
26 GVP...Djinn's running mate at point guard MINI CARFARTT led everyone in scoring with 23 points, going 11 for 16 from the floor, including 1 for 4 from deep, 2 rebounds and a steal that ended with a slam dunk by the 5-10 thief. Los Angeles came into the series boasting the best guard combo, but Djinn and Carfartt demonstrated their potency in this game. Carfartt pretty much destroyed DuPons.

Other 20-plus GVP performers
23 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "The Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...13 points...8 rebounds...2 assists.
22 GVP...Los Angeles power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...14 points...7 rebounds...1 block.
20 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard Pinky Toe...12 points...5 assists...3 rebounds.

NEXT UP: Game 1 of the Semis with Sacramento at Philadelphia...two teams that finished last place in the previous season return to the post-season after long absences.
 



Sunday, May 10, 2026

Season 58 Playoff Preview

 This post-season is the most unpredictable of the past seven campaigns; the last six of  which were won by the overwhelming favorite, the Dallas Demons.

The Demons are definitely in the mix again this campaign, with a chance to add to their unprecedented string of championships. But they are no longer the locked-in Las Vegas prime pick. 

For the first time in MBA history, the team with the worst record of the four playoff teams (meaning Sacramento) comes into the post-season with 7 victories. Philadelphia leads the way at 9-1, followed by Los Angeles and Dallas at 8-2. So picking a champion out of this quartet is educated guess-work at best.

--The Big One from L.A. has the best guard combonation...and for that matter, probably the best forward combo as well. 

-- The Phobia, the all-time winningest franchise in MBA history with 16 titles, is looking for its first championship since Season 43, 15 campaigns ago. Coincidentally, Season 43 was the last time Philly posted a 9-1 record during the regular season. This has been the longest stretch in the team's history without winning it all. In fact, this is the first playoff appearance for Philly in eight seasons.

-- Half of the post-season field from last season returns to the playoff hunt, with Dallas and Los Angeles both back. The Demons took out The Big One in last season's SemiFinals 2 games to 0. 

-- The other half of the post-season field - Philadelphia and Sacramento - both finished in last place during the previous campaign, with the River Dogs carrying the added burden of a potential change of venues since they had back-to-back last place campaigns.

-- Retiring Sacramento forward Satan Israel still has a shot, albeit a long one, to make the Hall of Fame. One award shy of the grand distinction, a ring and/or a Playoff MVP award would turn the trick. That won't be easy with Philadelphia standing in the way of the River Dogs.

-- Tyler predicts a Finals between Los Angeles and Philadelphia, with the Phobia coming away champs. He sees L.A. guard Pinky Toe as the Playoff MVP. (which would be the first MVP of his fine career).

-- None of the four playoff teams had an impactful rookie on their respective squads.

-- The four playoff teams played six games against each other during the regular season. Los Angeles was 2-1, Philadelphia was 2-1, Sacramento was 1-1 and Dallas was 1-2. The results were as follows:

L.A. beat Dallas 80-58 on the road

Philly beat Dallas 76-75 at home

Dallas beat Philly 79-68 at home

Philly beat L.A. 70-66 on the road

L.A. beat Sacramento 82-79 at home

Sacramento beat L.A. 79-76 at home

The Semifinal matchups this season are:

Dallas at Los Angeles...A rematch of last season's Semis in which the Demons dispatched The Big One 2 games to 0. L.A. pounded Dallas in a cross-over game to start the season. Expect this one to go three games.

Sacramento at Philadelphia...Sacramento guards are going to have to shine brightly for the R-Dogs to get past Philly. The Phobia has a huge advantage at the center position. 





NEXT UP: Game 1...Dallas at Los Angeles



Monday, May 4, 2026

Season 58...Leaders and Awards


PRESEASON PREDICTIONS HONORS GO TO DAVE…2-1, the key being Juzan Djinn pick by Dave for All-MBA…both picked 3000

 

 

Dave

G-Hall of Famer Vicious Hick of Los Angeles

G-Hall of Famer Juzan Djinn of Dallas

C-Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas

F-Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose

F-Erik A. Crocidale of Seattle

 

Tyler

G-Hall of Famer Vicious Hick of Los Angeles

G-Itstha Bishop of Philadelphia

C-Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas

F-Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose

F-Eric A. Crocidale of Seattle

 

LEAGUE MVP 

Dave picks Juzan Djinn of Dallas

Tyler picks Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas

 

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

forward Zach "Zing-Zing" Zigler of  Gillette (unanimous)

 

Only four centers over 20 GVP, but those four all made the Top Ten list for all positions. 
NEXT UP: PLAYOFF PREVIEW...ANY PREDICTIONS FROM YOU?


AS TYLER OBSERVED...GOING FROM ZERO AWARDS ON HIS CARD FOR THE FIRST FOUR SEASONS OF HIS CAREER TO LEAGUE MVP IS SOMEWHAT ASTONISHING. THE MOVE BY TYLER TO TRADE FOR PHILIBUCK DAVIA, ALLOWING GARNEL TO MOVE TO SMALL FORWARD FREED THE LATENT TALENT OF THE FORMER SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE HOST OF SHORT ATTENTION SPAN THEATER.

WITH THIS SEASON'S ADDITION OF AN ALL STAR GAME STAR AND THIS SIXTH ALL-MBA FOIL STAR, THE GREAT HALL OF FAME GUARD JUZAN DJINN HAS MOVED PAST MAX PAYNE, CHIP BATTOE AND FINALLY, NAF NAF ON THE MBA PYRAMID OF GREATNESS TO RANK JUST ONE AWARD BEHIND THE ALL TIME LEADER CURLY HOGBOTTOM. DJINN HAS 24 AWARDS (5 MVPS, 6 ALL-MBAs, 6 RINGS AND 7 ALL STAR GAME APPEARANCES. HE CAN TIE OR CLAIM THE TOP SPOT WITH A PLAYOFF MVP, ANOTHER CHAMPIONSHIP RING OR BOTH.

THE TOP 10 ALL-TIME MBA LIST
1. Curly Hogbottom...25 awards
2. Juzan Djinn...24 awards
3. Naf Naf...23 awards
4. Chip Battoe...22 awards
4. Max Payne...22 awards
6. Uncle Bob Masterson...21 awards
7. Hrundi V. Bakshi...19 awards
7. Saggital Occlusal...19 awards
7. Cappy Gambol...19 awards
10. Jesse Shershot...18 awards
10. Mamadou Zongo...18 awards
10. Boone Doggle...18 awards





NEXT UP: Position rankings and Main Standings Page with breakdowns


 

Monday, April 27, 2026

Season 58 Featured Game No. 10...Los Angeles at Sacramento

SACRAMENTO 79, LOS ANGELES 76

R-DOGS BEST BIG ONE

SACRAMENTO -- This time it was Sacramento (now 7-3) by 3 points, 79-76, with the River Dogs hanging on for payback for an earlier 82-79 loss to these same Los Angeles Big One (now 8-2).

In an excruciating fourth quarter in which they watched their 10-point lead get all the way down to 1, the R-Dogs could manage just 9 points as L.A. closed the gap with a series of blocked shots by Phillip Mianus. But, nursing a 1-point lead, Sacramento point guard Rabbit Munchers hit a welcome trey with 8 ticks left to provide some breathing room. But the lead was back to 1 in an instant as Los Angeles pivot Otzi Bolzano immediately scored, was fouled and hit his free throw. 

The winning bucket came at the 5 time unit mark when POG Satan Israel of Sacramento took control at the top of the key, drove to the cup and slammed home what turned out to be the game-winner. 

So now we have four threats to win the title this season, with a quartet of playoff teams who have all won at least 7 games.


PLAYER OF THE GAME
36 GVP...Retiring power forward SATAN ISRAEL of Sacramento was the difference in this game, scoring a game-high 32 points despite missing essentially all of the third quarter with a recurring injury. The 6-8 Israel, in his eighth and final campaign, was due for a big scoring outing. With guards Rabbit Munchers and Bellybutton Inquisition carrying a majority of the scoring load all season, Israel's offensive numbers were the lowest of his career. He picked an excellent time to rectify that situation, hitting his first 10 shots of the game as he notched 12 points in the first quarter, followed by 15 more in the second. His final total of 32 came on 13 of 16 shooting, including 3 slam dunks and 6 for 7 from the foul line. He is now averaging 14.5 points per game. He dominated his man, Grand Demur Fuyacho, who was returning to the Big One lineup from injury for the first time in four games. If The R-Dogs are going to do anything in the post season, they'll need Israel to be a productive part of their offense...and to stay healthy.
Other 20-plus GVP performers
25 GVP...Sacramento point guard Rabbit Munchers...18 points (4 treys)...4 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal.
25 GVP...Los Angeles Hall of Fame point guard Vicious Hick...16 points (3 treys)...6 assists...3 rebounds.
24 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "the Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...17 points...7 rebounds.
23 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard Pinky Toe...18 points...3 rebounds...2 assists.

A LOOK AT THE TIGHT MVP RACE

This is one of the closest MVP races in recent memory, with three, maybe four players squarely in the hunt.

Prior to this Featured Game, the race looks as follows:

1. guard Pinky Toe of Los Angeles…32.3 GVP points

1. forward Leonard Pinth Garnel of Philadelphia… 32.3 GVP points

3. Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn of Dallas… 31.4 GVP points

4. center Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas…30.4 GVP points


MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………8-1 (clinched playoffs)

DALLAS………………7-2

OKLAHOMA CITY…..4-5

CHARLESTON……….3-6 (eliminated)

MILWAUKEE………..1-8 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….8-2 (clinched playoffs and first place in division)

SACRAMENTO… 7-3 (clinched playoffs)

GILLETTE…………4-6 (eliminated)

SEATTLE………….3-6 (eliminated)

SAN JOSE…………2-8 (eliminated)

NEXT UP:  Philadelphia at Oklahoma City. The Phobia could clinch both first place in the East and home court advantage for the entire playoffs with a road win against the Lariats. Philly, on a 3-game winning streak, handled Oklahoma City fairly easily 76-63 in their first meeting, with Phobia center Blob Dylan domineering during the proceedings.

 








Wednesday, April 22, 2026

Season 58, Featured Game No. 9...Oklahoma City at Dallas

DALLAS 90, OKLAHOMA CITY 65 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

DEMONS DESTROY LARIATS

DALLAS -- With this 90-65 manhandling by Dallas of Oklahoma City, the playoff teams are set for Season 58. All that remains is determining first place in the East in a race between current leader Philadelphia and the six-time-defending-champion Demons and who gets home court advantage throughout the post-season.

This Featured Game was competitive up until halftime. In the third quarter, Dallas outscored the visitors 20-7 and it was all over. 

The Demons, who possess the longest current winning streak at 5, crushed Oklahoma City defensively, preventing 19 would-be points.

The victors shot 71.2 percent from the floor to just 50.9 percent for the Lariats.

Points prevented...Dallas 19, Oklahoma City 3

Turnovers caused: Oklahoma City 4, Dallas 3

Tops in points prevented: Juzan Djinn of Dallas with 13, Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Dallas with 4

Tops in turnovers caused: Oblio Assbag of Oklahoma City with 2

PLAYER OF THE GAME

27 GVP...Role-playing power forward NICK KENPOOP of Dallas stepped up and claimed POG honors for the first time this season with a game-high 20-point performance. The 6-10, fourth-year man dominated Oklahoma City's L.S. Island, scoring on 8 of 9 shots, slamming home 3 dunks and going 4 of 6 from the foul line. The sharp passing big man tied for game-high in assists with 4 while pulling down 3 boards. A steady, if not spectacular piece in the last two Dallas championships, Kenpoop is now scoring at a modest-but-steady 12 points per game, which is tied for his best scoring season.


Other 20-plus GVP performers
23 GVP...Dallas small forward Venial Sinn...19 points...3 assists...1 rebound.
23 GVP...Oklahoma City small forward Rumpy Pumpy Lewis...17 points...3 rebounds...3 assists.
20 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...11 points...4 rebounds...3 blocked shots...2 assists...game-high 13 points prevented.



MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………7-1 (clinched playoffs)

DALLAS………………7-2 (clinched playoffs)

OKLAHOMA CITY…..4-5

CHARLESTON……….3-6 (eliminated)

MILWAUKEE………..1-7 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….7-1 (clinched playoffs and first place in division)

SACRAMENTO… 6-3 (clinched playoffs)

GILLETTE…………4-5 (eliminated)

SEATTLE………….3-6 (eliminated)

SAN JOSE…………1-8 (eliminated)

NEXT UP:  Bracket 9 concludes with first-place Philly at last-place Milwaukee. The Phobia is still jostling for first in the East with Dallas as well as home court throughout the playoffs. They held Milwaukee to 53 measly points in their first meeting, winning by 15 behind Itstha Bishop and Leonard Pinth Garnel’s duo POG performances.




 

Wednesday, April 15, 2026

Season 58 Featured Game No. 8...Sacramento at Los Angeles

 


LOS ANGELES 82, SACRAMENTO 79

L.A. comes back in barn-burner

LOS ANGELES -- The Los Angeles Big One (now 7-1), trailing by 9 points with 54 time units left in the game, rallied to come all the way back for an electrifying 82-79 victory over second-place Sacramento (now 5-3). 

The victory clinches a playoff spot for L.A.; its second in a row. They join Philadelphia as guaranteed post-season teams.

The Big One used a trio of 3-pointers by Vicious Hick in the fourth quarter and took the lead for good on a short jumper by center Otzi Bolzano with 3 time units remaining. 

The victory gives L.A. its first 7-win season in eight campaigns; the most since Season 50 when they went 9-1 in a championship year.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

35 GVP..."MIGHTY MITE" BELLYBUTTON INQUISITION was the star of the show for the Sacramento River Dogs in this tough loss. The 5-11, 6th-year veteran scored a game-high 27 points in a head-to-head shootout with league scoring leader Pinky Toe of L.A. Inquisition got off to a great start, scoring 11 points in the first quarter on the way to a 12 for 20 shooting day, with 1 slam dunk. He was also 3 for 3 from the foul line and tied for game-high in assists with 4 and team-high in rebounds with 4. A three-time all star, this hard-driving back court player has become sharper with the passage of time. He's scoring at a career-best 17.6 points per game and has sparked the revitalized Sacramento franchise after coming to them in the free agent draft. 


Other 20-plus GVP performers
26 GVP...Retiring Los Angeles forward Phillip Mianus...15 points...5 rebounds...4 blocked shots...1 assist...1 steal.
25 GVP...Hall of Fame Los Angeles point guard Vicious Hick...17 points (4 treys)...6 rebounds...2 assists.
20 GVP...Los Angeles center Otzi "the Frozen Hunter" Bolzano...13 points...5 rebounds...1 blocked shot...1 assist
25 GVP...Los Angeles shooting guard Pinky Toe...21 points...3 assists...1 rebound.

MBA Standings … Season 58

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA………7-1 (clinched playoffs)

DALLAS…………………6-2

OKLAHOMA CITY…..4-4

CHARLESTON……….3-5 (eliminated)

MILWAUKEE………..1-7 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….7-1 (clinched playoffs)

SACRAMENTO… 5-3

SEATTLE………….3-4

GILLETTE…………2-5

SAN JOSE…………1-7 (eliminated)

NEXT UP: Bracket 8 concludes with Seattle hosting Gillette. A win would put the home team Stampede just one game behind Sacramento for the second playoff berth. But there is no guarantee. The Humps bested Seattle in Bracket 6 with a 75-68 setback behind the hot shooting of Maboroshi No Hotcake.