Season 54 improvements with draft including cut draft

NOTEWORTHY INDIVIDUAL IMPROVEMENTS FOR SEASON 54 

-- Los Angeles 3rd year guard Barfly Gigglewaters...improved twice against the pass, now a ball-hawking  5...dribbling improved to a 5 and he improved from medium to fast in the speed department

-- Philadelphia 6th year forward Turk Attaturk...dribbling improved to a 6 to go along with his 7 passing ability...improved to a 5 against the pass, making him another ball-hawking small forward...improved his tendency to shoot more in the short zone where he is very good.

-- Gillette 4th year guard Lefty Scavenger...already a top defender prior to improvements, improved to a 5 against the pass and upped his defense against the shot by going to a forced miss on 7 and a blocked shot on 4

-- Oklahoma City 2nd year forward Phillip Mianus, the league's top shot blocker last season, will likely block even more since he filled in the 6-7-8 box with a deny shot on 8 to go with blocks on 6 and 7.

-- Dallas 4th year oft-injured forward Satan Israel improved to a 5 dribbler, upped his offensive rebounding ability to a 12, tacked on a denied shot on 7, then, strangely, put a bit of a damper on all those plusses by increasing the number of 3-point shots he will be taking, even though he's not very good at them.

-- Dallas 2nd year center China P, obtained in draft as free agent, got better against both the pass and dribble where he is now a 3 in each. He also upped his passing from a 4 to a 5. He'll likely see little action, however, since Biggus Dickus rarely comes out of the game for the champs

NOTEWORTHY INDIVIDUAL REGRESSIONS FOR SEASON 54 

-- Philadelphia iron man forward Wawa Wewa, going into his 14th season without missing a game, will now be coming off the bench. He got worse twice in dribbling ability and is now an all-time MBA worst 1 on the dribble. He lost his deny shot on 5 and got all the way to a zero against the dribble, severely compromising his defensive ability. He has 130 consecutive games, but that is now in jeopardy.

-- Gillette point guard Joey "Joe Joe" Shamadu Jr., who led his team in steals last season, is now a zero against the dribble. He also got worse against the pass, where he is now a 1. Pressure at the point for the Humps will be down.

complete Season 54 draft...including cut draft

 

Season 54 Draft...aka...The Rich Get Richer

 Almost unbelievably, the rich got richer in the Season 54 draft, as the two-time defending champion Dallas Demons snagged the prize of the draft, rookie guard Vicious Hicks.

Hicks was plucked by Dallas with the 23rd pick, a prime pick, which they slyly acquired from Charleston the previous season in a trade for center Johnny Bananas. Still, for the future superstar to last as long as he did in the draft and for the Demons to get him on their first prime pick roll is some pretty amazing shit.

The other amazing occurence was the 29 rolls it took for Philadelphia to gain its eventual prime pick, rookie forward Leonard Pinth Garnel, the player they origiinally wanted to get with their first roll. It took the Phobia two complete trips through the available players to land Garnel as the 26th pick. He was the one they wanted in the first place.

According to the rankings given by Dave to each player prior to the draft (39 points for the best player, 1 point for the worst) and where they eventually ended up, the sheer talent influx per team would be thus:

1. Dallas Demons...108 points

2. Seattle Stampede...106 points

3. Los Angeles Big One...102 points

4. Philadelphia Phobia...89 points

5. Gillette Humps...80 points

6. San Jose Fighting Amigos...75 points

7. Sacramento River Dogs...74 points

8. Milwaukee Greyhounds...58 points

9. Charleston Mountaineers...48 points

10. Oklahoma City Lariats...40 points

FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER...BOB KOSTAS REVIEWS THE MBA DRAFT (per Tyler and the link)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Os-hwFjlck8

QUICK ANALYSIS BY TEAM

DALLAS DEMONS

Got the best player in the draft. How good? Good enough that the league's leading scorer from last season and one of two All-MBA guards, Kopi Luwak, will be replaced by him...him being guard Vicious Hick. They also added a fine backup center in second-year man China P and very promising rookie forward Venial Sinn to one of the finest rosters ever seen in the MBA. They actually got better.

SEATTLE STAMPEDE

They seem poised to repeat as a playoff team, having picked up the best rookie forward in the draft in Erik A. Crocidale and maybe the best defensive guard in the league in shut-down rookie Hilbee "the Skinny German" Juggleboy. The other rookie they picked up, Harry "Big Stink" Merdaio, will challenge for the starting center spot to replace longtime stalwart Sky Masterson. They got better too.

LOS ANGELES BIG ONE

It wouldn't take much for them to get better than consecutive last-place finishes, but L.A. took a big leap by getting the second best guard in the draft, rookie Pinky Toe and veteran star forward D. Fenestration.

PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA

The Phobia used all four of its picks on forwards, the best of which is 6-10 rookie defensive specialist Leonard Pinth Garnel, who will replace longtime forward favorite D. Fenestration. Right now, however, they are worse off at center and guard then they were last season, which will make it tough to compete for a playoff spot.

GILLETTE HUMPS

The Humps have an excellent chance of defending their West Division crown, nabbing two forwards in the draft who are both better than last year's starter, LaJon Brames. All-MBA power forward Sheetrock Hudson, the league rebounding leader, was procured with the next-to-last pick in the draft. And Jimmy Potsandpans was also added as a capable back-up. The other four starters return.

SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS

The Amigos lost superstar Jesse Shershot to retirement, but finally shored up their center position by getting the best pivot in the draft, veteran Sky Masterson. Rookie forward Scobee adds much-needed youth to an old roster and could actually beat out longtimer Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer for a starting job. These additions might be enough to contend for the playoffs.

SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS

The R-Dogs started the draft with just four players on their roster, but added three veterans to make them at least respectable. Getting forward Kevin Duran-Duran to return to the team on the 35th pick was a huge difference-maker. Freddy Gooch can defend at the guard position and Thomas Thomas Thomas is a proven shot-maker. They still have zero centers, however.

MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS

Started the draft with a fine first pick in guard Ehhy Table, but petered out thereafter. If Table, heading into his fifth season, can fulfill his long-noted talent, and old-timers J.J. Gargantuan and Ape Con Myth don't fall too far off their game, Milwaukee could get as high as third in the East.

CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS

Horrendous draft netted them no starting help. Got a good backup center in rookie jumping jack Brother Jasper but are currently without a MBA-quality starters at guard and forward having lost starters Freddy Gooch and All-MBA forward Sheetrock Hudson. Looks bleak.

OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS

Overall influx of talent was putrid due to three horrendous picks. But the 29th pick was Hall of Fame forward Crentis Dentist, who plugs a hole in the starting lineup in a big way. Tyler believes the Dentist addition improves the Lariats more than Hicks does for the Demons. That sounds unlikely on the surface, but may prove to be correct in the long haul. The Lariats seem like the second best team again.

NEXT UP: Player improvements and regressions, followed by the cut draft.

 

 

Season 54 Rookie Game vs. Milwaukee

 

As expected, one of the most talented class of rookies put a slaughter-rule score on the last-place Milwaukee Greyhounds, crushing them 97-74.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

48 GVP...Highly touted rookie guard VICIOUS HICK did not disappoint in his first MBA appearance, shaking off less-than-clinging defenders to register a game-high 36 points. Perhaps even more impressive than his explosive scoring output was the 6-2 player's game-high 12 rebounds, which matched the entire total of the opposing Greyhounds. Half of Hick's points came from beyond the arc, as The Next Big Thing connected on a ridiculous 6 of 7 shots while going 13 for 16 overall from the field as he scored from every zone. If you're looking for a weak spot, he was just 4 of 8 from the foul line. Whatever franchise gets this guy is going to be doing cartwheels. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

29 GVP...6-8 rookie forward Erik A. Crocidale...24 points, 2 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal, 1 block

27 GVP...6-2 rookie guard Pinky Toe...19 points, game-high 5 assists, 3 rebounds. 

22 GVP...6-8 fourth-year Milwaukee forward Zippy Wunderslug...team-high 18 points, team-high (tied) assists with 3, 1 rebound.

NEXT UP : The MBA Draft

SEASON 54 ROOKIES ARE OUTSTANDING GROUP

  Ten of the 16 rookies coming into the MBA this draft are projected to be solid-to-outstanding contributors, with about half that number being big-time players and one, guard Vicious Hicks, already tabbed as a future Hall of Famer.

This rookie class is especially rich in forwards, with 4 of the 6 newcomers looking excellent and the other two good enough to make teams for sure.

Three of the 7 rookie guards will be impact players.

Two of the three centers are worthy as starters depending on where they land.

In summary...an above average rookie class. When combined with the 23 free agents, (at least 10 of whom have starred in the league at various points in their career) this promises to be the most intriguing draft in ages.

GUARDS

Top Tier...6-2 Vicious Hick, 6-2 Pinky Toe, 6-2 Hilbee "The Skinny German" Juggleboy

Third Tier...6-3 Old Man Mahoffer, 6-2 Bobby Blumpkin, 6-3 Johnny Cumlately

Hacker Cut-Pile material...6-0 Tut "the Pharoah" Akhamun

FORWARDS

Top Tier...6-8 Eric A. Crocidale, 6-10 Leonard Pinth Garnel, 6-8 Venial Sinn

Second Tier...6-7 L.S. Island, 6-8 Scobee Bryant, 6-8 Mordle Sinn

 CENTERS

Top Tier...6-8 Brother Jasper

Second Tier...Harry "Big Stink" Merdaio

Cut Pile Material...6-8 Shit Throwup

Dave shuts out Tyler on Season 53 MBA predictions

Every single prediction for the way teams finished in the final standings was the same for Dave and Tyler, so no advantage for either one there.

Tyler did not predict any All-MBA predictions correctly.

Dave correctly predicted Sheetrock Hudson making the All-MBA team.

Neither owner predicted correctly on Rookie of the Year or league MVP.

Therefore, once again, Dave Masterson wins the prediction battle between the two Mastersons. 

Note to Tyler: If you can do it, can you get the Season 54 uniforms ready by Sunday, Feb. 11? 

ALL MBA PREDICTIONS

FROM TYLER

Guard...Jesse Shershot, San Jose

Guard...Itstha Bishop, Milwaukee

Center...Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

Forward...Satan Israel, Dallas

Forward...D. Fenestration, Philadelphia

FROM DAVE

Guard...Jesse Shershop, San Jose

Guard...King Czardines, Oklahoma City

Center...Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

Forward...Satan Israel, Dallas

Forward...Sheetrock Hudson, Charleston

MVP PREDICTIONS

Tyler....Jesse Shershot, San Jose

Dave...Jesse Shershot, San Jose

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR PREDICTIONS

Tyler...Itstha Bishop, Milwaukee

Dave...Phillip Mianus, Oklahoma City

Season 54 Free Agents are a huge-ass group

 

In a preseason that is seeing an unofficial record number of free agents jumping ship from their current teams, the two-time defending champion Dallas Demons are the only team to totally escape the exodus.

Twenty-three players will enter the Season 54 draft along with the usual number of 16 rookies, meaning that all but one team will get four picks each in what promises to be the biggest rearrangement of talent this league has ever seen. 

Except, of course, for Dallas, which, in the face of all this scrambling, stayed ridiculously pat.

Here are some Free Agent facts:

• 5 of the 10 teams in the league were hit hard...Sacramento, Philadelphia, Charleston and Seattle.
• Sacramento was decimated, losing six players, four of which were starters and one being the only Hall of Fame player who declared for free agency, Crentis Dentist. Tyler figured that the chance of the River Dogs losing 6 players to free agency was two-tenths of one percent. Bad juju to say the least. Only four players, one a starter, is on the current River Dogs roster, which is like starting over with an expansion franchise.
• Philadelphia's championship window with its current group took a major hit with the loss of starters Ehhy Table and team MVP D. Fenestration.
• Charleston also lost two starters, including All-MBA forward Sheetrock Hudson, the league's rebounding champ for a second time last season.
• Seattle lost its longtime stalwart at center and team MVP Sky Masterson.
• Three of the four playoff teams, Gillette, Oklahoma City and Dallas will be building off their current strong rosters with nary a loss of talent to free agency.
• The once-lowly Humps of Gillette go into the draft as the strongest team in the West, having lost one player, it's least effective starter.
• The nine biggest names in this free agent field include: forward D. Fenestration from Philly; forward Crentis Dentist from Sacramento; forward Sheetrock Hudson from Charleston; guard Thomas Thomas Thomas from Milwaukee; center Sky Masterson from Seattle; guard Ehhy Table from Philadelphia; forward Kevin Duran-Duran from Sacramento; guard Freddy Gooch from Charleston; and center China P from Sacramento. 
• Four free agents...Masterson, Dentist, Hudson and Fenestration were the MVPs of their respective teams last season.
• Hudson and Fenestration graded out second and third best at forward last season. Four of the free agent forwards were among the top 10 players at their position last season.
• 12 of the 23 free agents were starters...only San Jose, Oklahoma City, and of course, Dallas, did not lose a starter. But San Jose lost Hall of Fame guard Jesse Shershot to retirement.

Triple double leaders going into Season 54

 

Triple double leaders going into Season 54

ALL TIME LEADERS

17… Great Gruncle Terry, Hall of Fame guard (1 quadruple-double)

16…Jimsy Redfern, forward

11…Chip Battoe, Hall of Fame forward

11…Tom “the Bomb” Kondla, Hall of Fame center

9…Beezow Bop-Bop, Hall of Fame guard

9…Marcus Pettis, guard

8…Max Payne, Hall of Fame center

7…Wawa Wewa (active), forward

7…Tug Hershorts, Hall of Fame forward

7…J.D. Jedreat, forward (1 quadruple-double)

7…Diss Reflexia, Hall of Fame center

 

ACTIVE TRIPLE-DOUBLE LEADERS

7…Wawa Wewa, forward

4…Ehhy Table, guard

4…Flip Phelps, guard

3…Dick Papers, guard