Featured Game No. 5...Sacramento at Dallas...Plus power rankings...first half team stats

DALLAS 102, SACRAMENTO 62 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

DEMONS DESTROY DOGS

DALLAS -- The indomitable Demons from Dallas laid waste to what had been the first-place Sacramento River Dogs, crushing their canine opponents 102-62 in this cross-over contest to go into the All Star Game break with a 5-0 record.

The opening-quarter surge of 31-11 left no doubt as to the outcome, as the two-time defending champion Whiz Kids ran roughshod over the visiting R-Dogs, much to the delight of the home team fans.

Six Dallas players, scored in double figures, rainging from 12 to 17 points in a balanced attack that just kept coming. The win marked the second time this season that Dallas, now averaging 95.4 points per game, had hit the century mark in scoring. 

The loss dropped Sacramento from first place in the West all the way to third.

For the game, Dallas prevented 15 Sacramento points with relentless defense, while Sacramento prevented 1 point. 

The Demons now lead the MBA in both offense and defense and are crushing their opponents by an average of 26 points per game. 

The East now leads the West 3-2 in cross-over games this season.

Tops in Points prevented

1. Juzan Djinn, Dallas...7

2. Biggus Dickus, Dallas...4

PLAYER OF THE GAME

25 GVP...Last season's regular season MVP PETE "THE STEAKMAN" MARZANO registered his first POG of the campaign, scoring 16 points, grabbing 3 boards and blocking 1 shot. His 3 assists tied for team-high and his two steals were tied for most in the game. The third-year, 6-8 small forward was 7 for 11 from the floor and 2 for 2 from the charity stripe.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

22 GVP...Dallas rookie point guard Vicious Hick...17 points...3 assists...2 rebounds

22 GVP...Dallas shooting guard Juzan Djinn...13 points...5 rebounds...3 blocked shots...1 assist 

22 GVP...Sacramento shooting guard Karma Chameleon...18 points...4 rebounds

21 GVP...Dallas center Biggus Dickus...12 points...5 rebounds...3 blocked shots...1 assist

21 GVP...Dallas power forward Satan Israel...13 points...5 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal 

21 GVP...Sacramento power forward Kevin Duran-Duran...14 points...3 rebounds...3 assists...1 block

No changes from 4th to 5th bracket in the East standings.

Every team in the West, however, changed where they are in the standings, with the exception of last-place Gillette.

-- San Jose moved from second to first

-- Los Angeles jumped two spots from fourth into second with its 6-point win against Gillette

-- Sacramento dropped two places from first to third with its massacre at the hands of Dallas

-- Seattle went from third to fourth

HALFWAY POWER RANKINGS

1. Dallas

2. Oklahoma City

3. Charleston

4. San Jose

5. Los Angeles

6. Sacramento

7. Seattle

8. Philadelphia

9. Gillette

10. Milwaukee

NEXT: Season statistical leaders...the announcement of All Star teams.

 

Featured Game No. 4...Dallas at Oklahoma City...plus Retirements announced

DALLAS 90, OKLAHOMA CITY 86

DEMONS REMAIN ON TOP 

OKLAHOMA CITY -- The Whiz Kids from Dallas, trailing by as many as 10 points in the first half, took control of this showdown game to go up by 10 in the third quarter before coasting home to a 90-86 road victory against their main rivals from Oklahoma City (now 2-2).

The final score is not indicative of the Lariats' chance to come up a winner, since the Demons led by 10 points with 24 ticks remaining; an uphill battle that the losing team had little chance of overcoming, despite their final surge.

The game was entertaining throughout and marks the second straight contest that the 4-0 Dallas club has been put to the test, with Philadelphia having previously taken the Demons to overtime before bowing.

But the fact remains that two-time defending champions Dallas and its outstanding balanced attack, combined with timely defense, is still very much the class of the MBA. In this win they shot 62.9 percent as a team while going 7 for 12 from deep and getting valuable bench contributions from forward Al A. Orden and center China P. The two combined to go 7 for 7 from the floor in a game in which two Dallas starters fouled out.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

29 GVP...Rookie point guard sensation VICIOUS HICK of Dallas picked the right game to deliver the first POG of his MBA career. The 6-2 Hick tied for game-high in scoring with 20 points, going 8 for 13 from the floor and tickling the twine on 3 of 5 deep balls while going 1 for 2 from the foul line. He flat-out dominated King Czardines, pulling down 4 rebounds, handing out a team-high 4 assists and registering one steal for good measure. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

26 GVP...Dallas power forward Satan Israel...16 pts...7 RBs...2 steals...1 assist

26 GVP...Oklahoma City power forward Phillip Mianus...18 pts...5 RBs...2 blocks...1 assist

26 GVP...Oklahoma City shooting guard Handsy Joe Potatoe...20 pts...5 RBs...1 assist

24 GVP...Dallas shooting guard Juzan Djinn...17 pts...3 blocks...3 assists...1 RB

23 GVP...Oklahoma City center Chochky Galumpkus...17 pts...3 assists...2 RBs...1 steal

MBA Standings … Season 54

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….4-0

CHARLESTON………. 2-1

OKLAHOMA CITY…..2-2

PHILADELPHIA………1-2

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-3

 

WEST DIVISION

SACRAMENTO… 2-1

SAN JOSE………….2-2

SEATTLE…………..2-2

LOS ANGELES….. 2-2

GILLETTE…………. 1-3

 

NEXT UP:  Philadelphia at Charleston. This is a bigger game than what one might have thought prior to the start of this season. Philadelphia crushed San Jose and took Dallas to overtime while Charleston hung within four points of Oklahoma City in a loss, then beat the Lariats by three. So what looked like a two-team playoff shoo-in in the East has three clubs vying for the second post-season spot. This game will be a key.

RETIREMENTS FOLLOWING SEASON 54

-- 19 players, including 3 from the cut pile, will hang it up at the conclusion of Season 54

-- 6 of the 16 rostered players who will retire are currently starters

-- The hardest hit team by far was also the league's oldest...San Jose...which will lose three players and two key front line starters in center Sky Masterson and power forward Charles Broccoli.

-- Gillette and Los Angeles will each lose key starting forwards in Sheetrock Hudson and D. Fenestration, respectively. 

-- Philadelphia will be losing both of its centers.

-- Two of the youngest teams, Dallas and Seattle...escaped unscathed

-- Dave lost 10 players overall...with 3 being starters

-- Tyler lost 6 players overall...with 3 being starters

 

Bonus...A Look at the Trades Made in Season 52

 

1)      Oklahoma City trades second pick in Season 52 draft plus second pick in Season 53 draft to Dallas for center Chocky Galumpkus

 

Clear winner here is Oklahoma City, because Dallas got eventual cut pile guy forward Al DiMeola with 52 pick and guard Dominus Vobiscum with Season 53 pick…Vobiscum is fourth guard on team for last two seasons.

Galumpkus was 2^nd team All-MBA with OKC, scoring at 15.9 per clip and is still a starter for them two seasons later

 

 

 

2)      Charleston trades its second pick for Season 53 to Seattle for center Johnny Bananas and guard Whitey “White Boy” White

 

In Season 52, Bananas is the All-MBA center…so…great trade for Charleston, right? Read on

 

In Season 53 Seattle gets guard Freddy Gooch with the Charleston pick, then trades him and forward Rattles Ithome to Charleston for forward Frog Morton and guard Itsaka Numdrum

 

No advantage for either team to this point…………….BUT

 

Bananas goes free agent after Season 52, winding up with Dallas, leaving Charleston without a center. In order to get Bananas back, Charleston trades its second pick of Season 54 to Dallas, and that second pick turns out to be the big prize of the Season 54 draft, guard Vicious Hick.

 

So you could actually say that the clear winner in the Charleston and Seattle trade was, in effect, the Dallas Demons.

 

 

3)      Sacramento trades rookie forward Pete Marzano to Dallas for Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan

Gargantuan has a solid season and Sacramento finishes first in the West, but Gargantuan immediately becomes a free agent.

Meanwhile, Marzano becomes the starting forward for the Demons on two straight championship teams and is the regular season league MVP in Season 53.

 

Huge advantage to Dallas

 

4)      Gillette trades center Swordfish Willie Shingles to Los Angeles for forward Billie “Be-bop” Bauer who left Gillette to become a free agent.

Shingles plays two seasons for two last-place L.A. teams, then retires, while Bauer has an All-MBA season for Gillette in Season 52, starts for the Hump’s first playoff team in Season 53 and is still their starter as of Season 54.

 

Clear advantage to Gillette

Season 54 Featured Game 3...Dallas at Philadelphia...with Bonus

DALLAS 79, PHILADELPHIA 76 (OVERTIME)

DEMONS OUTLAST PHOBIA 

PHILADELPHIA -- In the best Featured Game this season, the home team Philadelphia Phobia gave the invincible Dallas Demons a serious run for their money before finally bowing in overtime 79-76.

Philly (now 1-2) led Dallas (now 3-0) 35-32 at halftime, thanks mainly to the heroics of forward Turk Attaturk, who had 17 points, 4 boards, 2 steals, 2 blocked shots and 1 assist at the break.

The visitors asserted themselves in the third quarter, holding the Phobia to just 8 points and taking a 53-47 lead into the final stanza. 

They looked like they were pulling away with ease, up by 10 with 50 time units left, until Philadelphia inserted Oblio Assbag into the lineup, essentially to see if he could slow down the red-hot Juzan Djinn. Assbag then proceeded to score 10 points the rest of the way to help Philly put the game into overtime.

The overtime was almost all Dallas rookie point guard Vicious Hick, who scored 10 points on a trio of treys, one a 4-point play, leading the Demons to the win.

Game note: The record 132 consecutive game streak by Philly forward Wawa Wewa came to an end in this one.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

38 GVP...Sixth-year Philadelphia forward TURK ATTATURK, having the best season of his career, earned POG honors with a magnificent stat-stuffing game. He scored a team-best 23 points on 11 of 20 shooting, including 2 slams and 1 for 3 from deep, tied for team-high in blocked shots with 3, pulled down 5 rebounds, assisted 3 times and stole the ball from last season's MVP Pete Marzano, who he dominated, on 4 different occasions. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

33 GVP...Dallas shooting guard Juzan Djinn...25 pts (including 3 treys)...5 RBs...2 blocks...1 steal

29 GVP...Dallas rookie point guard Vicious Hick...24 pts (including 5 treys)...3 RBs...2 assists

29 GVP...Philadelphia rookie power forward Leonard Pinth Garnel...his first triple-double...14 pts...6 rebounds...5 assists...3 blocks...1 steal

24 GVP...Dallas center Biggus Dickus...15 pts...5 RBs...3 blocks...1 assist

23 GVP...Philadelphia point guard Dick Papers...15 pts...4 assists...3 RBs...1 steal

MBA Standings … Season 54

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….3-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-1

CHARLESTON………. 1-1

PHILADELPHIA………1-2

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-2

 

WEST DIVISION

SACRAMENTO… 2-0

GILLETTE…………. 1-1

SAN JOSE………….1-1

LOS ANGELES….. 1-1

SEATTLE…………..0-2

 

NEXT UP: Last-place Milwaukee travels to Oklahoma City. After getting pummeled twice by Dallas to start their season, the Greyhounds, still minus Ehhy Table, now must face the second place team in the East.

MBA BONUS 

We've had some wild assist numbers already this season, specifically from point guards King Czardines of Oklahoma City (6.5 per game) and Seeyalater Scronto of Charleston (7.0 per game). 

So here's a list of the best performances by league leaders in assists in MBA history.

6.3 per game...Bull Bunson, Seattle, Season 30

6.3 per game...Percy Faith, Sacramento, Season 15

6.2 per game...Great Gruncle Terry, Sacramento, Season 47

6.1 per game...Dun Gonewrong, Oklahoma City, Season 28

6.1 per game...Great Gruncle Terry, Sacramento, Season 49

5.8 per game...Percy Faith, Oklahoma City, Season 14

5.5 per game...Great Gruncle Terry, Sacramento, Season 48

5.3 per game...Bullet Bob Sixgun, Chicago, Season 3

5.2 per game...Flash Cola, Seattle, Season 2

5.0 per game...Great Gruncle Terry, Los Angeles, Season 50

5.0 per game...Great Gruncle Terry, Los Angeles, Season 51

5.0 per game...Red Reparee, Charleston, Season 44

5.0 per game...Percy Faith, Dallas, Season 12

Season 54 Featured Game No. 2... Philadelphia at San Jose

PHILADELPHIA 89, SAN JOSE 66 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

PHOBIA CRUSH AMIGOS

SAN JOSE -- The Philadelphia Phobia (now 1-1) concluded its two-game cross-over obligation with the West by stunning the home team San Jose Fighting Amigos (now 1-1) 89-66 in a game they controlled from start to finish.

Philly shot a smoking 71.2 percent from the floor while playing above-average defense that resulted in below 50 percent shooting for San Jose. 

The win for Philadelphia puts them in third place in the East and the loss does the same for San Jose in the West. 

The Phobia will have to play at least this good when they host mighty Dallas in the next bracket.

Mimba Note: Five of the nine MBA games played this season have resulted in slaughter rule enforcement. 

PLAYER OF THE GAME

29 GVP...Fifth-year sharpshooter FLUFFERTON SPRINGS scored from every zone on the way to a game-high 25 points dominating Joe Momsawhore of San Jose. The 6-foot lefty shooting guard poured in 10 of 14 attempts with 3 of his 4 shots from deep snapping the nets. He was also 2 for 2 from the foul line. The Season 50 Rookie of the Year also tied for game-high in steals with 2 and grabbed 2 rebounds in this convincing win.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

22 GVP...Philadelphia forward Turk Attaturk...10 pts...4 blocks...2 steals...4 assists...2 RBs

22 GVP...San Jose center Sky Masterson...15 pts...4 RBs...3 assists

21 GVP...Philadelphia center Juji Mufu...16 pts...3 RBs...2 assists

MBA Standings … Season 54

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….2-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-0

PHILADELPHIA………1-1

CHARLESTON………. 0-1

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-2

 

WEST DIVISION

SACRAMENTO… 2-0

GILLETTE…………. 1-1

SAN JOSE………….1-1

LOS ANGELES….. 1-1

SEATTLE…………..0-2

 

NEXT UP: Bracket No. 2 concludes with a rematch from bracket No. 1 with Oklahoma City visiting Charleston. The Mountaineers put up surprising resistance to the favored Lariats, losing by just 4 points. The POG was Oklahoma City point guard King Czardines, who ran the show with elan.

Season 54 Featured Game No. 1...San Jose at Seattle (A. I. enhanced kinda) with roster and coach bonuses

SAN JOSE 91, SEATTLE 64 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

VETERAN AMIGOS CRUSH YOUNG STAMPEDE 

SEATTLE -- The oldest team in the West gave an MBA lesson to the youngest team in the division, as the visiting San Jose Fighting Amigos obliterated the home team Seattle Stampede, 91-64. 

The Amigos were playing for the first time in seven seasons without Hall of Fame guard Jesse Shershot, but if they missed him, they certainly did not show it. 

After a close first quarter, San Jose seized control in the second and never looked back. It was still a game going into the fourth, with Seattle trailing by 12, but the elders from California bum-rushed the youngsters 28-13 in the final stanza that saw both teams clear their benches. 

PLAYER OF THE GAME

35 GVP...Four-season Seattle favorite CHARLES BROCCOLI, now in his third season for San Jose, came back to haunt his old club in this Season 54 opener. The 6-10 Broccoli destroyed his opposite, veteran Frog Morton, on the way to a game-high 24-point performance in which he missed just one shot, going 10 for 11 from the field and 4 for 5 from the foul line. The seventh-year star also led everyone in rebounds, hauling down 9, assisted once and registered 1 steal.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

25 GVP...San Jose forward Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer...20 points...4 rebounds...1 assist

22 GVP...San Jose guard Vinny Zazeech...12 points...5 rebounds...5 assists...for the second triple-double of his career.

22 GVP...San Jose guard Joe Momsawhore...19 points...2 assists...1 rebound

21 GVP...Seattle rookie forward Erik A. Crocidale...14 points...4 rebounds...2 assists...1 block 

Note: Points prevented were kept in this featured game, but not many happened. Seattle prevented 6 points while San Jose's total of 4 points prevented all belonged to former Stampede center Sky Masterson. 

The following is an account of the game written by Alvin Ignorant, based on the information already presented here.

In the Season 54 opener, the San Jose Fighting Amigos, the oldest team in the West, taught a masterclass in basketball to the youngest team in the division, the Seattle Stampede. The Amigos, playing their first game in seven seasons without Hall of Fame guard Jesse Shershot, showed no signs of missing him as they crushed the Stampede 91-64.

The game started off close, but the Amigos took control in the second quarter and never relinquished it. Going into the fourth quarter, the Stampede were trailing by 12 points. However, the experienced Amigos outscored the young Stampede 28-13 in the final quarter, leading to both teams clearing their benches.

The player of the game was Charles Broccoli, a four-season Seattle favorite now playing his third season for San Jose. The 6-10 Broccoli dominated his opposite, veteran Frog Morton, scoring a game-high 24 points on 10 for 11 shooting from the field and 4 for 5 from the foul line. The seventh-year star also led all players with 9 rebounds, and added an assist and a steal.

Other standout performers included:

• San Jose forward Eddie “the Milkman” Creamer, who scored 20 points, grabbed 4 rebounds, and dished out an assist.
• San Jose guard Vinny Zazeech, who posted the second triple-double of his career with 12 points, 5 rebounds, and 5 assists.
• San Jose guard Joe Momsawhore, who contributed 19 points, 2 assists, and a rebound.
• Seattle rookie forward Erik A. Crocidale, who put up 14 points, 4 rebounds, 2 assists, and a block.

In this featured game, points prevented were recorded, but there were not many. Seattle prevented 6 points, while all 4 points prevented by San Jose were credited to former Stampede center Sky Masterson. Despite the loss, the young Stampede team will surely learn from this experience and come back stronger in their next game.

MBA Standings … Season 54

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….0-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..0-0

CHARLESTON………. 0-0

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-0

PHILADELPHIA………0-1

 

WEST DIVISION

SAN JOSE………….1-0

LOS ANGELES….. 1-0

GILLETTE…………. 0-0

SACRAMENTO…0-0

SEATTLE…………..0-1

 

NEXT UP: Gillette at Sacramento to complete the bracket for the West. 

FEATURED GAME EXTRAS

Youngest starting lineups

Seattle...16 seasons for 5 starters combined

Los Angeles...16 

Charleston...16 

Dallas...16 

Oldest starting lineups

Milwaukee...46 

San Jose...35 

Oklahoma City...29

Youngest overall roster

Charleston...32 seasons for all players combined

Seattle...34 seasons

Dallas...38 seasons

Oldest overall roster

San Jose...63 seasons

Gillette...59

Philadelphia...58

Biggest roster turnover

Seattle...5 of 10 roster spots are new to team

Sacramento...5 of 10

Least roster turnover

Oklahoma City...2 newcomers to roster

Dallas...3 newcomers

Gillette...3 newcomers

Milwaukee...3 newcomers

List of MBA head coaches by order of tenure

Charleston...Bill Rustler...37th season

Philadelphia...Stu Nod...18th season

San Jose...Augustus McCrae...18th season

Los Angeles...Naceg Gecan...8th season

Oklahoma City...Grady Booch...5th season

Milwaukee...Frank Pettis...5th season

Seattle...Ray Blaze...3rd season

Sacramento...Theta Ty...3rd season

Dallas...Buzzy Bazinski...3rd season (2 for 2 championships)

Gillette...Otto Palindrome...2nd season (got the Humps over the playoff hump)

Season 54 Preview and Predictions

THE WEST

1st--GILLETTE HUMPS (6-4, 0-2 last season...first place) (Tyler-1st, Dave-2nd)

Big Adds: All-MBA forward and league-leading rebounder Sheetrock Hudson; forward Jimmy Potsandpans

Big Subtractions: None

Summary: Team overcame eighth in rebounding last season to win first division title and addition of Hudson will improve that weakness. Potsandpans and veteran Bouganvillea Hedge will provide more depth. They will be in a playoff position fight with Seattle and San Jose all season long. Top scoring team in the West features league's best scoring center of a season ago, Blob Dylan (15.1ppg), who was Rookie of the Year and All-MBA in addition to being a defensive genius. Not yet in Dallas' class.

2nd--SEATTLE STAMPEDE (5-5, 0-2 last season...second place (Tyler-3rd, Dave-1st)

Big Adds: Trio of  talented rookies, forward Erik A. Crocidale, shut-down defensive guard Hilbee Juggleboy and  center Harry "Big Stink"Merdaio.

Big Subtractions: Lost team MVP and longtime center Sky Masterson to free agency

Summary: Rare is the playoff team that replaces half its roster and gets better in the process, but that's this season's Seattle club. If "Big Stink" Merdaio beats out Laughing Boy Lasso for the center spot, Seattle will field one of the youngest starting lineups in the league. Only Dallas had more of an influx of talent during the off-season. Crocidale's gift for scoring could lift this team past Gillette in West.

3rd--SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS (5-5 last season...fourth place (Tyler-2nd, Dave-3rd)

Big Adds: Solid center Sky Masterson finally fills longtime hole at the pivot position.

Big Subtractions: First season without perennail scoring champ, Hall of Fame guard Jesse Shershot.

Summary: Is the addition of Masterson enough to overcome the loss of Shershot and get them back into the playoffs? Forward fixture Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer again starts the season out of position at small forward, but promising rookie Scobee Bryant stands ready to step in. They need an even bigger season from guard Vinny Zazeech than he had last campaign.

4th--LOS ANGELES BIG ONE (2-8 last season...last place (unanimous 4th)

Big Adds: Exciting rookie guard Pinky Toe and rock-solid veteran forward D. Fenestration

Big Subtractions: Defensive center Willie Shingles, who led team in rebounds lost to retirement.

Summary: If they finish last for a third straight season, the cube of chance could move or eliminate the franchise. Team finished last in offense and defense last season, but Toe and Fenestration should help in both categories. 

Last--SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS (5-5 last season...third place (unanimous last)

Big Adds: Sharpshooting guard Thomas Thomas Thomas

Big Subtractions: Hall of Fame forward and team MVP Crentis Dentist lost to free agency, starting center and top rebounder China P and starting guard Flip Phelps also lost to free agency.

Summary: Decimated by free agency, once-promising young roster practically starting all over.

THE EAST

1st--DALLAS DEMONS (8-2, 5-2 last season...first place and repeat champions (unanimous 1st and pick to win it all again)

Big Adds: Unbelievably snagged the top player in the draft, rookie sensation Vicious Hick, a guard who replaces All-MBA guard and league scoring leader Kopi Luwak in the starting lineup. 

Big Subtractions: None

Summary: After adding the most talent of any team in the draft, the two-time defending champs have the deepest roster in MBA history anyone can recall. Already the top scoring team in the league with by far the best differential (+13.5 ppg) the Whiz Kids score the "next big thing" in fantastic-looking guard Vicious Hick while welcoming back injured star forward Satan Israel. Still tied for the youngest starting lineup in the MBA, Dallas also added excellent rookie forward Venial Sinn and center China P to its embarrasment of riches.   

2nd--OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS (7-3, 4-3 last season...second place (unanimous 2nd)

Big Adds: Hall of Fame forward Crentis Dentist

Big Subtractions: None

Summary: An overtime loss away from the championship, the Lariats addressed their forward weakness with the addition of Dentist. Oklahoma City's roster has talent and depth surpassed only by Dallas. If Dentist returns to the scorer he was early in his career, this team could keep the Demons from being the runaway favorite that they currently are. With league assist leader, King Czardines passing him the ball, Dentist and his new team stand a good chance of returning to the Finals to challenge Dallas again.

3rd--PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA (5-5 last season...third place (Tyler-3rd, Dave-4th)

Big Adds: Rookie forward Leonard Pinth Garnel

Big Subtractions: Starters guard Ehhy Table and D. Fenestration to free agency and starting center Taco Toosdae to retirement.

Summary: The championship window seems to have closed for Philly, who will replace four long-time starters thanks to free agency, retirement and age, the latter being 14-season iron man Wawa Wewa who will step out of his starting role for the first time in his career. The drop from the two teams above them is precipitous. 

4th--MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS (2-8 last season...last place (Tyler-Last, Dave-3rd)

Big Adds: Guard Ehhy Table

Big Subtractions: Guard Thomas Thomas Thomas

Summary: Greyhounds will really lean on Philly free agent Ehhy Table to boost them out of the cellar and possibly into third. This is by far the oldest starting lineup and overall roster in the MBA, but the East depth is not what it usually is in terms of overall talent.

Last--CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS (5-5 last season...fourth place (Tyler-4th, Dave-Last)

Big Adds: None

Big Subtractions: All-MBA forward and league-leading rebounder Sheetrock Hudson and starting guard Freddy Gooch, both to free agency.

Summary: After four consecutive 5-5 seasons of treading water, the Mountaineers appear to be going under.

ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS FROM TYLER

Guard-Vicious Hick, Dallas (also MVP and Rookie of the Year)

Guard-Pinky Toe, Los Angeles (rookie)

Center-Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

Forward-Erik A. Crocidale, Seattle (rookie)

Forward-Crentis Dentist, Oklahoma City (Hall of Famer)

ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS FROM DAVE

Guard-Juzan Djinn, Dallas (also MVP)

Guard-Vicious Hick, Dallas (also Rookie of the Year)

Center-Blob Dylan, Gillette

Forward-Phillip Mianus, Oklahoma City

Forward-Pete"the Steakman"Marzano, Dallas

10-plus seasons going into Season 54

17—Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan of Milwaukee

16—forward Ape Con Myth of Milwaukee

14—forward Bouganvillea Hedge of Gillette

14—forward Wawa Wewa of Philadelphia (130 consecutive games & counting)

14 – forward Al A. Orden of Dallas

12—guard Hurricane Furrwizard of Los Angeles

11—guard Chai Walla, cut pile (entire career)

11—forward Frog Morton, Seattle

10 – forward Eddie Creamer, San Jose

10 – guard Flip Phelps, Los Angeles

 

Hall of Fame watch going into Season 54

Already in with 13 awards -- center J.J. Gargantuan, Milwaukee

Already in with 10 awards -- forward Crentis Dentist, Oklahoma City

9 awards-- guard Juzan Djinn, Dallas

7 awards-- center Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

7 awards-- forward Sheetrock Hudson, Gillette

6 awards-- guard Kopi Luwak, Dallas

6 awards-- forward Frog Morton, Seattle

6 awards-- forward Pete Marzano, Dallas

5 awards-- forward Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia

5 awards-- forward Eddie Creamer, San Jose

5 awards-- forward Charles Broccoli, San Jose

5 awards-- guard Flufferton Springs, Philadelphia

5 awards-- forward Al A. Orden, Dallas

 

Most consecutive games

130 and counting...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia

100 and counting...Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee

In the Danger Zone with two consecutive last place finishes

Los Angeles Big One...would roll for another city with another last place this season

NEXT UP: Opening Day Season 54 of the MBA ... crossover with Los Angeles Big One at Philadelphia Phobia