THE WEST
1st--GILLETTE HUMPS (6-4, 0-2 last season...first place) (Tyler-1st, Dave-2nd)
Big Adds: All-MBA forward and league-leading rebounder Sheetrock Hudson; forward Jimmy Potsandpans
Big Subtractions: None
Summary: Team overcame eighth in rebounding last season to win first division title and addition of Hudson will improve that weakness. Potsandpans and veteran Bouganvillea Hedge will provide more depth. They will be in a playoff position fight with Seattle and San Jose all season long. Top scoring team in the West features league's best scoring center of a season ago, Blob Dylan (15.1ppg), who was Rookie of the Year and All-MBA in addition to being a defensive genius. Not yet in Dallas' class.
2nd--SEATTLE STAMPEDE (5-5, 0-2 last season...second place (Tyler-3rd, Dave-1st)
Big Adds: Trio of talented rookies, forward Erik A. Crocidale, shut-down defensive guard Hilbee Juggleboy and center Harry "Big Stink"Merdaio.
Big Subtractions: Lost team MVP and longtime center Sky Masterson to free agency
Summary: Rare is the playoff team that replaces half its roster and gets better in the process, but that's this season's Seattle club. If "Big Stink" Merdaio beats out Laughing Boy Lasso for the center spot, Seattle will field one of the youngest starting lineups in the league. Only Dallas had more of an influx of talent during the off-season. Crocidale's gift for scoring could lift this team past Gillette in West.
3rd--SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS (5-5 last season...fourth place (Tyler-2nd, Dave-3rd)
Big Adds: Solid center Sky Masterson finally fills longtime hole at the pivot position.
Big Subtractions: First season without perennail scoring champ, Hall of Fame guard Jesse Shershot.
Summary: Is the addition of Masterson enough to overcome the loss of Shershot and get them back into the playoffs? Forward fixture Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer again starts the season out of position at small forward, but promising rookie Scobee Bryant stands ready to step in. They need an even bigger season from guard Vinny Zazeech than he had last campaign.
4th--LOS ANGELES BIG ONE (2-8 last season...last place (unanimous 4th)
Big Adds: Exciting rookie guard Pinky Toe and rock-solid veteran forward D. Fenestration
Big Subtractions: Defensive center Willie Shingles, who led team in rebounds lost to retirement.
Summary: If they finish last for a third straight season, the cube of chance could move or eliminate the franchise. Team finished last in offense and defense last season, but Toe and Fenestration should help in both categories.
Last--SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS (5-5 last season...third place (unanimous last)
Big Adds: Sharpshooting guard Thomas Thomas Thomas
Big Subtractions: Hall of Fame forward and team MVP Crentis Dentist lost to free agency, starting center and top rebounder China P and starting guard Flip Phelps also lost to free agency.
Summary: Decimated by free agency, once-promising young roster practically starting all over.
THE EAST
1st--DALLAS DEMONS (8-2, 5-2 last season...first place and repeat champions (unanimous 1st and pick to win it all again)
Big Adds: Unbelievably snagged the top player in the draft, rookie sensation Vicious Hick, a guard who replaces All-MBA guard and league scoring leader Kopi Luwak in the starting lineup.
Big Subtractions: None
Summary: After adding the most talent of any team in the draft, the two-time defending champs have the deepest roster in MBA history anyone can recall. Already the top scoring team in the league with by far the best differential (+13.5 ppg) the Whiz Kids score the "next big thing" in fantastic-looking guard Vicious Hick while welcoming back injured star forward Satan Israel. Still tied for the youngest starting lineup in the MBA, Dallas also added excellent rookie forward Venial Sinn and center China P to its embarrasment of riches.
2nd--OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS (7-3, 4-3 last season...second place (unanimous 2nd)
Big Adds: Hall of Fame forward Crentis Dentist
Big Subtractions: None
Summary: An overtime loss away from the championship, the Lariats addressed their forward weakness with the addition of Dentist. Oklahoma City's roster has talent and depth surpassed only by Dallas. If Dentist returns to the scorer he was early in his career, this team could keep the Demons from being the runaway favorite that they currently are. With league assist leader, King Czardines passing him the ball, Dentist and his new team stand a good chance of returning to the Finals to challenge Dallas again.
3rd--PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA (5-5 last season...third place (Tyler-3rd, Dave-4th)
Big Adds: Rookie forward Leonard Pinth Garnel
Big Subtractions: Starters guard Ehhy Table and D. Fenestration to free agency and starting center Taco Toosdae to retirement.
Summary: The championship window seems to have closed for Philly, who will replace four long-time starters thanks to free agency, retirement and age, the latter being 14-season iron man Wawa Wewa who will step out of his starting role for the first time in his career. The drop from the two teams above them is precipitous.
4th--MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS (2-8 last season...last place (Tyler-Last, Dave-3rd)
Big Adds: Guard Ehhy Table
Big Subtractions: Guard Thomas Thomas Thomas
Summary: Greyhounds will really lean on Philly free agent Ehhy Table to boost them out of the cellar and possibly into third. This is by far the oldest starting lineup and overall roster in the MBA, but the East depth is not what it usually is in terms of overall talent.
Last--CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS (5-5 last season...fourth place (Tyler-4th, Dave-Last)
Big Adds: None
Big Subtractions: All-MBA forward and league-leading rebounder Sheetrock Hudson and starting guard Freddy Gooch, both to free agency.
Summary: After four consecutive 5-5 seasons of treading water, the Mountaineers appear to be going under.
ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS FROM TYLER
Guard-Vicious Hick, Dallas (also MVP and Rookie of the Year)
Guard-Pinky Toe, Los Angeles (rookie)
Center-Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City
Forward-Erik A. Crocidale, Seattle (rookie)
Forward-Crentis Dentist, Oklahoma City (Hall of Famer)
ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS FROM DAVE
Guard-Juzan Djinn, Dallas (also MVP)
Guard-Vicious Hick, Dallas (also Rookie of the Year)
Center-Blob Dylan, Gillette
Forward-Phillip Mianus, Oklahoma City
Forward-Pete"the Steakman"Marzano, Dallas
10-plus seasons going into Season 54
17—Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan of Milwaukee
16—forward Ape Con Myth of Milwaukee
14—forward Bouganvillea Hedge of Gillette
14—forward Wawa Wewa of Philadelphia (130 consecutive games &
counting)
14 – forward Al A. Orden of Dallas
12—guard Hurricane Furrwizard of Los Angeles
11—guard Chai Walla, cut pile (entire career)
11—forward Frog Morton, Seattle
10 – forward Eddie Creamer, San Jose
10 – guard Flip Phelps, Los Angeles
Hall of Fame watch going into Season 54
Already in with 13 awards -- center J.J. Gargantuan, Milwaukee
Already in with 10 awards -- forward Crentis Dentist, Oklahoma City
9 awards-- guard Juzan Djinn, Dallas
7 awards-- center Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City
7 awards-- forward Sheetrock Hudson, Gillette
6 awards-- guard Kopi Luwak, Dallas
6 awards-- forward Frog Morton, Seattle
6 awards-- forward Pete Marzano, Dallas
5 awards-- forward Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia
5 awards-- forward Eddie Creamer, San Jose
5 awards-- forward Charles Broccoli, San Jose
5 awards-- guard Flufferton Springs, Philadelphia
5 awards-- forward Al A. Orden, Dallas
Most consecutive games
130 and counting...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia
100 and counting...Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee
In the Danger Zone with two consecutive last place finishes
Los Angeles Big One...would roll for another city with another last place this season
NEXT UP: Opening Day Season 54 of the MBA ... crossover with Los Angeles Big One at Philadelphia Phobia
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