Seattle ambushes Charleston in Game 1, 84-78

SEATTLE 84, CHARLESTON 78

CHARLESTON -- Tyler predicted a first-round win by one of his teams, and the always over-achieving Seattle Stampede delivered with an 84-78 Game 1 shocker.

After leading by as many as 20 points midway through the third quarter, Seattle's lead shrunk to a single point, 73-72, with 17 time units remaining in the game before they regained their footing down the stretch.

The home team Mountaineers still only trailed by four points when Beezow Bop-Bop blocked a Ginger Vampire shot out of bounds with 6 time units remaining. On the subsequent out-of-bounds play, Jairo Capoeira took a pass down low, scored and was fouled by B. Quiet, who became the second Charleston player to foul out. Capoeira, the Player of the Game, then hit the free throw to more or less seal the deal.

Capoeira and Bob Kittle, the two holdovers from the Seattle title team of Season 37, were joined by team newcomer Tea Time Typhoo in racking up big 20-point scoring games. Typhoo was largely responsible for the first half lead, when he scored 18 of his 22 points.

Also having a stellar first half was cut pile acquisition Shits McGriddle, who spelled Seattle center Matthew Scott Chemers when he got into foul trouble. McGriddle, who was a Charleston backup for six seasons, scored all 7 of his points in the first half and ended up tying for game-high in rebounds with 7.

Now Tyler has a decision to make with the usual Seattle starter George Gershwin coming back from injury. Who gets cut, McGriddle or Chemers...and who starts?

PLAYER OF GAME
JAIRO CAPOEIRA thoroughly out-played All-MBA forward B. Quiet, getting the first triple-double of his career and fouling out Quiet in the process. He scored 20 points on 7-of-10 shooting, including 1-for-2 from beyond the arc. Additionally, the fourth-year player slammed a few home, was a perfect 5-for-5 from the foul line, grabbed 5 boards, tied for game-high in assists and got the only steal of the game.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS
-- Shooting guard Bob Kittle of Seattle took a lot of shots (18) to get to his 20 points, but he ran Jesus Moron Joseph ragged and fouled him out in the process. Kittle hit a number of big treys among his game-high 4, grabbed 2 rebounds and had 1 assist.

-- Seattle power forward Tea Time Typhoo, who played his first two seasons with Charleston, was the game's top scorer with 22 points. He was largely responsible for the first-half Stampede surge. Typhoo added 3 rebounds and 1 assist.

-- Beezow Bop-Bop, who played point guard for Charleston in this one, kept his counterpoint Ginger Vampire from going off. But although Bop-Bop had a team-high 17 points, he did so shooting less than 50 percent. He also added 4 rebounds and had 2 big blocks on Vampire makes during the failed comeback.

-- The MBA assist leader Jesus Moron Joseph of Charleston was one rebound shy of a triple-double before fouling out with 30 time units left in the game and his team down 73-64. Joseph tied for game-high in assists with 5, had 11 points and 4 boards, also blocking 1 shot.

-- Charleston center J.J. Gargantuan scored 14 points, had 3 rebounds, 2 blocked shots and 1 assist in the loss.

NEXT UP: Oklahoma City, ahead in the best of three semis 1-0, looks to get to its first Finals since Naf Naf joined the team as they travel to Milwaukee.

Lariats hit 100 in win and Naf sets new playoff mark

OKLAHOMA CITY 100, MILWAUKEE 85

OKLAHOMA CITY -- The Oklahoma City Lariats hit the century mark in the first game of the Season 40 playoffs, besting a game Milwaukee team 100-85 behind a record-tying 38 points by Hall of Fame guard Naf Naf.

Naf tied the long-standing playoff scoring mark held by Hall of Fame guard Dan Mann of Milwaukee, who turned the trick twice...once in Season 9 and once in Season 12.

In tying the playoff scoring mark, Naf established a new record for 3-point baskets made in a playoff game by connecting on 9 treys. The prior record of 8 3-pointers was held by four players, including Naf's current teammate, Walt White. Also erased from the record book were Hall of Famer Cappy Gambol, Horn E. Goatweed and Didger A'doo.

Milwaukee hung tough with the high-flying Lariats for most of the game, getting over 7 points more than their season average of 77.7 But in the end they could not match the firepower of the home team, which has now scored in triple digits six times this season.

Naf hit his first six 3s of the game, scoring 11 points in the first quarter and his 25-point halftime total included 5-for-5 from beyond the arc.

Still, Milwaukee was within 10 at the break, despite the scorching pace.

The game was somewhat comparable to the regular season contest between the two won by Oklahoma City 105-84.

PLAYER OF GAME
NAF NAF, came within a point of his personal best scoring game, going a very efficient 12-for-17 from the floor and 9-for-12 beyond the arc. He also grabbed 1 board, registered 2 assists and had 1 steal. He tied the playoff scoring mark with a 3-point play with 47 time units remaining in the game...plenty of time to establish a new scoring mark. However, he did not attempt another shot for the remainder of the game.

other 20-plus gvp performers
-- Oklahmoa City's Hall of Fame center Max Payne owns Ugattanoluvfer Spikie, his counterpart on Milwaukee. After shutting him out during the regular season, Payne limited him to just 4 points in this game while scoring 17 himself. The oldest player on either team (15 seasons) led everyone in rebounds with 9 and in blocked shots with 4. He added 1 assist.

-- The second-leading Lariats scorer during the season, Bang-Bang Reiner, repeated that role with 22-points in the win. He also pulled down 5 boards, had 1 block and 1 assist.

-- Shooting guard Simon Barsinister of Milwaukee led his team in scoring with 21 points, many of those coming on strong drives to the hole and two of those drives ending with slam dunks. Barsinister also led Milwaukee in assists with 4 and pulled down 1 rebound.

-- Danke "Donkey" Shame, the 6-5 small forward for Milwaukee scored in a variety of ways to get his 20 points, including 4 slam dunks and one trey. He also had 5 rebounds to lead the Greyhounds in that department.

NEXT UP; Seattle traverses the continent to take on Charleston in Game 1 of their semifinal best of three.

Season 40 Regular Season Wrap-up and Playoffs Preview

PLAYOFFS PREVIEW

Semifinals match-ups
Oklahoma City Lariats (8-2) vs. Milwaukee Greyhounds (5-5)
Charleston Mountaineers (7-3) vs. Seattle Stampede (5-5)

Oklahoma City vs. Milwaukee
Overall favorites, the Oklahoma City Lariats had the most explosive offensive season in the 40-season history of the MBA, averaging a record 90 points per game and scoring over 100 points in half of their contests. But not only are the Lariats the league's top scoring team, they also boast the best defense and the best rebounding. In the previous three seasons Hall of Fame guard Naf Naf has been with the team, they have been beaten twice in the semifinals and failed to make the playoffs last season. But with the additions of Hall of Fame center Max Payne and outstanding rookie forward Sloppy Dollop to this year's roster, Lariats fans are looking forward to getting back to the finals for the first time since they won it all in Season 35. (That, by the way, was the only franchise championship season and the only other year Max Payne played for this team.)

The Milwaukee Greyhounds have won seven MBA championships but none since Season 18. This is their second consecutive trip to the playoffs and their second in three seasons since changing coaches and putting Fly Davia in charge. Milwaukee ranks fourth overall in scoring, but they are No. 1 in the league in shooting percentage, making 63.3 percent of their shots. The Greyhounds finished seventh defensively in the 10-team league and dead last in free-throwing, shooting an abysmal 55.7 percent as a team.


The teams played once during the regular season, with Oklahoma City in control throughout in a 105-84 victory. Naf Naf of Oklahoma City was the game MVP with 35 points and Milwaukee's Baskets Weaver fouled out trying to guard him.
All-MBA forward and league MVP runner-up Baba Brinkman led the Greyhounds in scoring with 28 points.
Prediction: Oklahoma City advances to finals 2-0.

Charleston vs. Seattle
The defending champion Charleston Mountaineers have only missed the playoffs once in the past five seasons and have racked up two championships during that span. They are the MBA's second-highest scoring team and third-best defensive team. Their two guards, Jesus Moron Joseph and Beezow Bop-Bop finished first and third, respectively in league assists leaders. Subsequently, the Mountaineers were far and away the best assists team in the MBA, getting 14.9 per game, with no other team getting more than 11. Additionally, Charleston led the league in shot blocking and were runners-up to Milwaukee in shooting percentage.

The Seattle Stampede, picked in pre-season to finish last in the West Division, not only made the playoffs, but did so despite playing 30 percent of the campaign without their best player, Ginger Vampire, and despite the fact that they had the worst defense in the entire league, yielding 80 points per game. This is Seattle's first playoff appearance since the franchise won its lone championship in Season 37 with the Three Amigo lineup that included second-year stars Wimsy Greenfoyle, Diss Reflexia and Sven Marquardt, all since departed for other teams. The other two less-heralded youngsters in that title lineup, Jairo Capoiera and Bob Kittle, are both still starting for Seattle. The Stampede can point to its stunning 75-62 victory over then-unbeaten Oklahoma City near the end of the season as the game that put them into the post-season.

Charleston and Seattle met once during the regular season, with the Mountaineers soundly thrashing the Stampede 95-65 as All-MBA forward B. Quiet of Charleston went off for 37 points. This was the game in which Charleston tied the team assists record, getting 24 on the day. To be fair, Seattle was without Vampire in that contest. The Stampede will be playing Game 1 of this series without the services of 7-foot center George Gershwin, who was second in the league in rebounding. This will negate the only category where Seattle has an edge.

Prediction: Charleston advances to finals 2-0.

Naf Naf moving up list

ALL STAR REPORT

After all the All Star Game tallying, the only new movement we have to report on all-time All Stars leaders list is for Naf Naf of Oklahoma City.

After four seasons (all on the All Star team) Naf Naf's 3 3-point baskets made in the Season 40 Star game moves him up on the list past Ching-Chong Chung and Mamadou Zongo and into second place all time in All Star Game competition. He trails only Cheetos Jones.

The 3-point baskets leaders list for All Star Games is as follows:

1. Cheetos Jones 24

2. Naf Naf 19 (active)

3. Mamadou Zongo 18

4. Ching-Chong Chung 17

5. Tommy Zoop 15

5. Uncle Bob Masterson 15

5. Didger A'Doo 15

5. Doug Fresh 15

9. Cappy Gambol 14

9. Stu Nod 14

40th MBA All Star Game

EAST COMES ROARING BACK TO TAKE 40TH ALL STAR CONTEST;
FAMILIAR STAR GOES DOWN AGAIN TO INJURY
PHILADELPHIA -- The East Division All Stars, trailing for three quarters, finally caught, then bested their West counterparts 77-75 in this thrilling All Star contest in The City of Brotherly Love.

Chicago center Magnus Dragonhof drilled the only 3-point shot he took in the game to give the East their first lead, 68-67, with 38 time units remaining in the affair. From there, the two star teams traded leads until Milwaukee forward Baba Brinkman put the East up for good with a 3-point play with just 6 time units left, giving the East a 75-73 lead.

Oklahoma City wunderkind guard Naf Naf had a chance to tie it up one time unit later, but he missed two free throws. Sven Marquardt of Dallas then hit a short jumper with 4 left to increase the East lead to 4 with 4 TUs left, all but sealing the deal.

A Pippi Pippistrelli put-back following an offensive rebound for the West accounted for the final score.

Finally, a blocked shot by Blue "Rondo" Alaturk of San Jose on the final time unit gave the West a glimmer of hope, but time ran out without another shot being fired.

The East now holds a 25-15 edge in this event.

The injury
Last season he was hurt prior to the All Star Game. This season, veteran guard Ginger Vampire of Seattle re-injured that same right knee during the Star Contest.

In both cases, Seattle came into the All Star Game contending for a playoff berth. They were a surprising 4-1 and in first place last season, but finished short of the post-season without Vampire, who missed the remainder of the campaign. This season they are again befuddling the experts, who picked them for last, as they chugged into the break in second place at 3-2. Vampire, who had 10 points when he was felled in the second quarter, will be out the next three games, and will return for the final two if his mates can hold the fort in his absence. That will be a tall order in the West, where Seattle currently has the same record as San Jose and Los Angeles.

The Stampede picked up guard Verbal Kent from the league rejects to take Vampire's spot on the roster. Kent, a well-known hacker, last played for Charleston two seasons ago and shot a fine 61.5 percent while scoring 3.6 points off the pines. He can rebound, too. Although slow and slovenly, he has quick hands.

PLAYER OF GAME
Charleston guard BEEZOW BOP-BOP became the first player from that franchise to be named MVP of the All Star Game, and he did so coming off the bench. Bop-Bop led his team with 16 points, tied for game-high assist honors with 4, pulled down 3 rebounds and blocked 2 shots in the victory. Equally important was the defense he played on Naf Naf of the West.

Other 20-plus GVP performances
-- Magnus Dragonhof of Chicago helped the East cause with 15 points, while tying for team-high in rebounds with 6. He also blocked 2 shots and dished out 1 assist.
-- Five-year vet forward Sven Marquardt of Dallas, playing in his first All Star Game, gave the East 14 points, tied for team-high in rebounding with 6 and had 1 assist.
-- Last season's All Star Game MVP Naf Naf of Oklahoma City had 17 points at the half, but, hounded by Bop-Bop, finished with 19. That was still high in the game. He added 1 rebound.
-- High-flying rookie forward Sloppy Dollop of Oklahoma City showed off his multiple abilities, scoring 10 points, grabbing 5 rebounds, dishing 2 assists and blocking 3 shots.

NEXT UP; Tallying the All Star stats and updating the all-time records. Then the second half of Season 40 gets off to a bang with a pair of 1-4 teams clashing as Chicago travels to Philadelphia.

MBA MID SEASON REPORT SEASON 40

ALL STAR TEAM NOTES
* All three active Hall of Famers make the East All Star team.
* Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi, age 12, makes his first All Star Game since Season 35. He was 7 at that time.
* Bakshi becomes 1 of 16 players in history to make 7 or more All Star Game appearances.
* Hall of Fame center Max Payne becomes one of just four in history to make 9 or more All Star Game appearances. He ties Curley Hogbottom with 9 appearances and trails only Uncle Bob Masterson and Mamadou Zongo, who lead everyone with 10 appearances. And Payne will be back next season with a chance to tie that pair for No. 1.
* In an excellent season for rookies, three made the All Star team, with two being starters.
* Seven players are making the All Star Game for the first time, with former cut pile guy Jesus Moron Joseph getting there in his sixth season in the league.
* Nine of the 20 All Stars are back from last season's All Star Game squads. The East returns zero starters, while the West returns three starters (Naf Naf, Vampire and Pippistrelli).
* All five of the East starters will be doing so for the first time.
* The two All-MBA forwards from last season, B. Quiet of Charleston and Reckless Abandon of Chicago, failed to make their All Star Game teams.
* Players with 20-plus GVPs who were edged out and did not make the team include: guard Pelton Crane of Chicago (20.6), forward Danke Shame of Milwaukee (20.8), forward Reckless Abandon of Chicago (21.2), guard Bob Kittle of Seattle (20.4), guard Steve Carter of Sacramento (20.8) and forward Bang-Bang Reiner of Oklahoma City (21.8).
* For the first time in a number of seasons, only four centers made the All Star teams. Six have made it in the past three seasns.
* The hardest positions to gain All Star Game spots are West guards and East forwards.



* No Hall of Famers retired.
* Only 11 players on MBA rosters and 8 cut pile players will be retiring. A very light retirement season.
* Just four starters in the entire league will be retiring.
* The Philadelphia Phobia were hit the hardest by retirment. They lost the most players with 4 and the most starters with 2.
* Four of the 10 teams did not lose a single player to retirment: Charleston, San Jose, Oklahoma City and Los Angeles.
* The three teams most hurt by retirements are all Tyler's: Philadelphia, Milwaukee and Seattle.
* The five Dave teams lost just three players. The only one who sees any action at all is Troells Rasmussen of Sacramento.
* Guest retirement roller was Jesse Sherwood, who determined the fate of the eligible cut pile players.


Hall of Fame Rankings (updated with latest All Star Game awards)
1. Curly Hogbottom 6-10 Forward Seasons 16-24 (9) 25 awards
2. Uncle Bob Masterson 6-2 Guard Seasons 4-13 (10) 21 awards
3. Sagittal Occlusal 6-8 Forward Seasons 25-32 (8) 19 awards
3. Cappy Gambol 6-6 Guard Seasons 1-7 (7) 19 awards
3. Hrundi V. Bakshi 6-7 Guard Seasons 29-? (12+) 19 awards (up from 5 during Season 40)
6. Boone Doggle 6-10 Forward Seasons 23-31 (9) 18 awards
6. Mamadou Zongo 6-4 Guard Seasons 15-31 (17) 18 awards
8. Link Lennex 6-7 Forward Seasons 7-12 (6) 17 awards
8. Stu Nod 6-3 Guard Seasons 6-17 (12) 17 awards
10. Diamond Dallas Paige 6-11 Center Seasons 12-18 (7) 16 awards
10. Jonny Cockaroo 6-9 Center Seasons 18-29 (12) 16 awards
10. Max Payne 7-0 Center Seasons26-? (15+) 16 awards (up from 12 during Season 40)
13. Doc Watson 6-2 Guard Seasons 9-17 (9) 15 awards
13. Cam Bodia 6-6 Forward Seasons 15-25 (11) 15 awards
15. Cheetos Jones 5-11 Guard Seasons 28-34 (7) 14 awards
15. Dan Mann 6-1 Guard Seasons 5-13 (9) 14 awards
17. Tommy Zoop 6-6 Guard Seasons 18-24 (7) 13 awards
17. Guru Gannon 6-7 Forward Seasons 11-17 (7) 13 awards
17. Raisin Sport 6-9 Forward Seasons 1-13 (13) 13 awards
20. Bill Rustler 6-9 Center Seasons 1-10 (10) 12 awards
20. Rip Slamjam 6-11 Center Seasons 5-19 (15) 12 awards
22. Ching-Chong Chung 5-10 Guard Seasons 26-37 (11) 11 awards
22. Tom Kondla 6-8 Center Seasons 28-33 (6) 11 awards
22. Shucks Oyster 6-4 Guard Seasons 17-22 (6) 11 awards
22. Gato Do Mato 6-11 Forward Seasons 30-36 (7) 11 awards
22. Naf Naf 6-0 Guard Seasons 37-? (4+) 11 awards STILL ACTIVE (Most recent) (up from 22 during Season 40)
27. Joey Two-Tones 6-3 Guard Seasons 18-23 (6) 10 awards
27. Soul Duran 6-3 Guard Seasons 3-8 (6) 10 awards
27. Bart Pitbull 7-2 Center Seasons 17-23 (7) 10 awards
27. Shooter Flatch 6-7 Forward Seasons 19-25 (7) 10 awards
27. Alex Pal 6-11 Center Seasons 5-10 (6) 10 awards
27. Doug Fresh 5-11 Guard Seasons 1-15 (15) 10 awards
27. Art Vandelay 6-7 Forward Seasons 34-39 (3) 10 awards (Most recent)

VETERANS COMMITTEE SELECTIONS
34. Marshall Stax 6-7 Forward Seasons 7-13 (7) 9 awards
34. Mable Reed 7-1 Center Seasons 6-16 (10) 9 awards
34. Tarjetas Indice 6-7 Forward Seasons 9-17 (9) 9 awards
34. Ama Spikie 6-8 Center Seasons 29-37 (9) 9 awards
34. Bub Wright 6-5 Forward Seasons 1-7 (7) 9 awards
34. Tug Hershorts 6-11 Forward Seasons 25-33 (9) 9 awards
40. Silo Chamberlin 5-10 Guard Seasons 1-6 (6) 8 awards
40. Benny Gumm 6-0 Guard Seasons 19-31 (13) 8 awards
40. Oscar Mudcat 6-6 Guard Seasons 1-8 (8) 8 awards
40. Rowdy Ron Clutch 6-7 Forward Seasons 1-9 (9) 8 awards

Pre-Season Assessments Season 40

EAST DIVISION

1. CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS (unanimous No. 1 pick)
Season 39 Record: 6-4 second in division, (5-1 in playoffs)
Major Additions: 6-8 rookie forward Pietro Destroyer, 6-10 rookie forward Eggyolk Carpaccio, 6-8 backup center Hodor
Major Subtractons: Hall of Fame forward Art Vandelay to retirement, super-sub forward Pap Smearz

The Lowdown: Defending champions are one of two MBA powerhouse squads and a heavy favorite to win the division. They lost a pair of excellent forwards from last season's title run but picked up Pietro "The" Destroyer, rated the top rookie forward, in the draft. They also added rookie forward Eggyolk Carpaccio and the best backup center from the cut pile, Hodor, to give them more depth. The big three of Playoff MVP guard Beezow Bop-Bop, All MBA center J.J. Gargantuan and All-MBA forward B. Quiet are all back, and defensive genius Gargantuan has improved. Mel A. Noma will move to the point.


2. MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS (DM-2nd, TM-3rd)
Season 39 Record: 7-3 first in division, (1-2 in playoffs)
Major Addition: 6-2 guard Simon Barsinister
Major Subtractions: Hall of Fame guard Hrundi V. Bakshi

The Lowdown: Milwaukee will be in a dogfight for the second playoff spot in the East. Bakshi's loss hurts. Had just one draft pick this season and wasted it on awful guard Soupy Poops. Six-year vet Simon Barsinister is solid defensively and can score, but is a weak rebounder. Danke Shame is a shut-down defensive forward, Baskets Weaver has improved at guard and 7-1 pivot Ugatta Noluvfer Spikie has sharpened his game.

3. PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA (DM-4th, TM-2nd)
Season 39 Record: 3-7, fourth in division
Major Addition: 6-2 rookie point guard Colquitt "Ouuii" Croix
Major Subtractions: League-leading rebounder forward Davis Phillips

The Lowdown: Colquitt Croix was the top-rated rookie guard and will dazzle with his 3-point shooting. The other guard, Achtu Meinlieber, led the team in scoring last season at 17.5 ppg, and 6-7 Diss Reflexia will continue to amaze as one of the league's most exciting centers. But forwards Buck Naked and Vermin Supreme, acquired in a trade with Chicago, are a weak tandem.

4. CHICAGO GALE (DM-3rd, TM-4th)
Season 39 Record: 6-4, third place
Major Additions: 6-0 rookie point guard La'Quill McCool
Major Subtractions: Hall of fame center Max Payne, defensive specialist guard Poppy Poppalucco

The Lowdown: Could sneak into playoff picture after trade with Philadelphia netted McCool and forward DuDu Dadinga. But neither are great. All-MBA forward Reckless Abandon, and 6-11 center Magnus Dragonhof are best players.

5. DALLAS DEMONS Unanimous last-place pick
Season 39 Record: 6-4, second in West (3-4 in playoffs)
Major Additions: 6-2 sharp-shooting guard Wimsy Greenfoyle
Major Subtractions: All-time leading steals leader Lemon Jell-o, scoring machine T. Kanes Masterson, starting forward Taylor Quackstick.

The Lowdown: Dallas has the state of Texas all to itself, but move from West to East division will be rugged.


WEST DIVISION

1. OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS (unanimous No. 1 pick)
Season 39 Record: 5-5, fourth place
Major Additions: Hall of Fame center Max Payne,6-7 rookie forward Sloppy Dollop
Major Subtractions: None

The Lowdown: In addition to Naf Naf, who has won three MVPs and three scoring titles in as many seasons, the Lariats have two-time All-MBA scoring whiz Yipeekayee Masterfalcon at the other guard, returning Rookie of the Year Bang-Bang Reiner at one forward and talented jumping-jack rookie Sloppy Dollop at the other. Add improved (that's right, improved) Hall of Fame 15-season center Max Payne and Oklahoma City looks unbeatable in the West. The last time Payne stopped here for a season in Season 35, the Lariats won their only title. Tyler predicts a 10-0 season.

2 (tie). LOS ANGELES BIG ONE (DM-3rd, TM-2nd)
Season 39 Record: 1-9, Last-place finish as Houston Iguanas in the East
Major Additions: Hall of Fame 6-7 guard Hrundi V. Bakshi, 6-4 rookie guard Akbar Zagobia, 6-8 forward Pap Smearz
Major Subtrations: None

The Lowdown: The Big One comes rolling into Los Angeles and the West as one of the MBA's most improved teams. Bakshi and Zagobia will be a dynamic guard combination. Both rebound and score, and Zagobia plays defense like an assassin. Pap Smearz is about to emerge as one of the league's top forwards. Top scorer Guy Clark and one-time league MVP Hitler provide depth off the bench. Center. with Steve "Drunk Uncle" Bromberger, could be their Achilles heel.

2. (tie). SACRAMENTO RIVERDOGS (DM-2nd, TM-3rd)
Season 39 Record: 4-6, Last Place
Major Additions: 6-5 rookie forward Flip Testerton, 6-2 rookie point guard Red Reparee
Major Subtractions: Forward Harold Arlen (retired)

The Lowdown: All of Sacramento breathed a sigh of relief when last year's top rookie center Tree Fiddy returned to the team after testing the free-agency waters. Along with reliable scorer Bill Cull and rookie sensation Flip Testerton at forwards, the R-Dogs have a stalwart front line. 6-2 rookie Red Reparee and 6-6 veteran Steve Carter will man the back court. Rookie 6-6 forward Kyle "Parsons Chicken" Sherwood plays defense like he was born to it. Playoffs?

4. SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS (picked fourth unanimously)
Season 39 Record: 7-3, first place (0-2 in playoffs)
Major Additions: None
Major Subtractions: None

The Lowdown: The Amigos are the only MBA team that will start the exact same team as last season. It was enough to win the West in Season 39, but an improved division will make a playoff return a hard road. Three-point specialist YourMajesty Lumpkins and the top rookie center Hunk R. Down will contribute off the bench for now.

5. SEATTLE STAMPEDE (unanimous last-place pick)
Season 39 Record: 5-5 Third place
Major Addition: 6-8 forward Tea Time Typhoo
Major Subtractions: Top-scorer, guard Wimsy Greenfoyle
The Lowdown: Worse at guard, better at forward, a playoff run not anticipated.

A LOOK AT SEASON 40 ROOKIES (IT’S A BUMPER CROP, ESPECIALLY AT FORWARD)

THE ELITE
6-2 guard Colquitt “Ouuii” Croix…starting at point guard for Philadelphia…rookie of year favorite
6-8 forward Pietro “The” Destroyer…starting at forward for Charleston
6-7 forward Sloppy Dollop…starting forward for Oklahoma City
6-4 guard Akbar Zagobia…starting point guard for Los Angeles
6-5 forward Flip Testerton…starting small forward for Sacramanto
7-0 center Hunk R. Down…back-up center to Pippi Pippistrelli on San Jose
6-6 forward Kyle “Parsons Chicken” Sherwood…back-up forward for Sacramento

SOLID PLAYERS
6-6 guard Theon Greyjoy…back-up guard behind All-MBA pair in Oklahoma City
6-10 forward Eggyolk Carpaccio…back-up forward for loaded Charleston team
6-9 center Pat “Bubkis” Moore…back-up center to Tree Fiddy in Sacramento
6-2 guard Red Reparee…starting point guard for Sacramento
6-0 guard La’Quill “McQuill” McCool…starting point guard for Chicago

LACKING
6-10 center Falaftimus Prime…good rebounder, good offense, no defense…cut pile
6-7 forward Wild Bill Connelly…great ball-handler…not great enough…cut pile
6-3 guard Soupy Poops…worth a hearty laugh when Milwaukee got him with lone pick…on bench
6-6 forward Nomo Momo…can score a bit in the paint, but that’s it…cut pile

Only four rookies started on MBA teams last season. Seven are starters this season, and four more have starting potential.



HALL OF FAME WATCH (Players entering Season 40 with 5 or more awards on their card)
Ten needed for Hall of Fame (Six awards possible for a rookie in any one year…five for all others)

ACTIVE HALL OF FAMERS
Hrundi V. Bakshi, 12th season guard, Los Angeles (18 awards)
Max Payne, 15th season center, Oklahoma City (15 awards)
Naf Naf, 4th season guard, Oklahoma City (10 awards)

Seven
Gulemon Mon-Mon, 14th season forward Dallas

Six
Naceg Gecan, 6th season center, Dallas
Diss Reflexia, 5th season center, Philadelphia
B. Quiet, 6th season forward, Charleston

Five
Ginger Vampire, 9th season guard, Seattle
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopitty Bop Bop-Bob, 7th season guard, Charleston
Yipeekayee Masterfalcon, 6th season guard, Oklahoma City
Walt White, 11th season guard, Oklahoma City
Vic Hitler, 5th season forward, Los Angeles