Wednesday, June 25, 2014

33rd All Star Game

EAST 78, WEST 63

CHICAGO -- The East, behind six-time all star point guard Ching-Chong Chung of Houston, took control of this one in the second quarter and never let go, winning 78-63 for the dominant division's 22nd victory in this long series. It is exactly twice the wins accumulated by the West.
Chung, the 5-10 sparkplug, won the MVP of the Game award in this star contest for the first time, popping in a game-high 28 points that included 6 for 9 from beyond the arc. He added 2 rebounds, 2 blocks and an assist. His running mate at guard, Steve Carter of Milwaukee, gave the East a lethal combo at the position, getting 21 points and snaring a game-high 7 rebounds in his first all star contest. Another first-timer, Charleston center Muito Bom, also had a good game with 13 points, 5 rebounds, 2 assists and a pair of steals.
Gato Do Mato was the lone outstanding player for the West. The deft 6-11 forward led his team with 23 points while nabbing 6 boards and blocking two shots.

All Star Milestones
* Tom Kondla of Dallas finished his all star career adding three blocks to a career all star game total of 16. That puts him second on the all-time list with 15 blocks, just one short of leader Curly Hogbottom's 16.
* Jimsy Redfern of Charleston blocked three more shots, giving him a career all star total of 14 to move past Boone Doggle and into third place on the blocks list right behind Kondla.
* Ching-Chong Chung also moved up on two lists. He's now third all-time in career 3s (15) behind Cheetos Jones (23) and Mamadou Zongo (18). Chung is tied with such MBA luminaries as Tommy Zoop, Uncle Bob Masterson and Doug Fresh. He passed up Cappy Gambol and Stu Nod, both of who had 14 career 3s in all star competition. All of those mentioned are Hall of Famers.
* Chung also moves up the career all star scoring list, now resting in 9th place with 85 points. He passed Nod and Gambol on that list as well and rests one point behind Marcus Pettis and Cheetos Jones. The all-time leader is Uncle Bob Masterson with 158.

NEXT UP: A huge game to open the second half of the season, with Philadelphia (3-2) at red-hot Milwaukee (4-1). The Greyhounds have not lost since suffering an opening game setback to these very same Phobia 68-54. A defeat would put the four-time defending champs from Philly in a tough position to make the playoffs in the East. A win puts them right back into the thick of things.

Monday, June 23, 2014

SEASON 33 AT THE HALF (more than any fan needs to know)



Mba leaders at the half

SCORING
1. Chung, Houston 18.9
2. Carter, Milwaukee 18.2
3. Jones, Philadelphia 16.8
3. White, Oklahoma City 16.8
5. Kondla, Dallas 16.6

REBOUNDING
1. Flinthorn, Houston 6.4
1. Arlen, Seattle 6.4
1. Kondla, Dallas 6.4

ASSISTS
1. McGoats, San Jose 4.0
2. L. Jell-o, Charleston 3.0
2. Van Slochum, Charleston 3.0
2. Lava, Milwaukee 3.0
2. Hershorts, Philadelphia 3.0

STEALS
1. Lemieux, Sacramento 8
2. L. Jell-o, Charleston 6
2. Do Mato, San Jose 6


BLOCKED SHOTS
1. Redfern, Charleston 40
2. Whos, Houston 22
3. CityMaine, Milwaukee 15

3-POINT SHOOTING
1. Herzfeld, Dallas 88.9 percent 8 made
2. White, Oklahoma City 72.7 percent 8 made
3. Bakshi, Houston 66.7 percent 10 made

FREE THROW SHOOTING
1. Arlen, Seattle 100 percent 14 made
2. Redfern, Charleston 100 percent 10 made
3. Chung, Houston, 93.3 percent, 14 made

TOP SCORING GAMES
34 points—Ching-Chong Chung, Houston vs. Chicago
32 points—Schweaty Ballz, San Jose vs. Seattle
30 points—Cheetos Jones, Philadelphia vs. Seattle

MVPS OF THE GAME
1. Redfern, Charleston 4
2. Do Mato, San Jose 3
3. Hershorts, Philadelphia 2
3. Jones, Philadelphia 2





All star notes:
* Although the game will be played in Chicago, no Gale players made the team
* Ching-Chong Chung makes his 6th all star game, one of just 23 players in MBA history to do so and the first to reach the milestone since Season 23 when Linus Mandrake made it for Milwaukee the sixth time. Of the 23 who made six all star games, only Marcus Pettis (7), Flash Cola, Dolf Whizbang, Mandrake and now Chung have not made the Hall of Fame. Chung, in his 8th season, would tie Silo Chamberlin as the shortest Hall of Famer at 5-10 if he makes the Hall.

MOST ALL STAR GAME APPEARANCES
10-Uncle Bob Masterson
10-Momadou Zongo
9-Curly Hogbottom
8-Doug Fresh
8-Jonny Cockaroo
7-Boone Doggle
7-Rip Slamjam
7-Tommy Zoop
7-Cam Bodia
7-Marcus Pettis
7-Diamond Dallas Paige
7-Bill Rustler
7-Sagittal Occlusal
6-Soul Duran
6-Raisin Sport
6-Mable Reed
6-Link Lennex
6-Flash Cola
6-Doc Watson
6-Guru Gannon
6-Dolf Whizbang
6-Linus Mandrake
6-Ching-Chong Chung


* The East has won 21 games, the West has won 11, but the West has won 5 of the last 6

* The only former MVP of the All Star Game on either roster is Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones, who won the honor twice.

* There are 11 first-time All Stars, over half the field. Only one rookie made the team. Two oldest players are both in their 9th season.

* Conspicuous by his absence is Houston's Hrundi V. Bakshi, the league's other active Hall of Famer.

* Worthy players squeezed off the team: guard Bakshi of Houston (20.4)and forwards Nobby Nabob of Chicago (20.8) and Bruno Pantanal of Milwaukee (20.2)


MBA LOSING SOME SUPERB TALENT TO RETIREMENT

Retirement announcements hit the MBA with a force rarely seen in the past, including the biggest name of all, the enigmatic but unworldly talent, center Tom "The Bomb" Kondla of Dallas bowing out of the league after just six short seasons, five of which he totally dominated the position. Kondla, a shot-blocker and rebounder extraordinaire (to say nothing of his superb scoring ability) will undoubtedly retire and go straight to the Hall of Fame, despite his truncated career. Still, Dallas will not be without a nearly equal replacement in Max Payne, the 7-footer generally acknowledged to be the second best center in the league who has had to play the last three campaigns behind Kondla.
Twenty-two retirements means that the league will be losing 6 players next season in total volume (since 16 rookies enter every season).
But quality trumps volume in Season 33. Among the greats leaving the game will be:
* Defensive genius Cock A. Doodledoo, injured for the third time in his career this season
* Longtime quality power forward 6-11 Tug Hershorts, who was a part of so many championships.
* Sharpshooting guard Wes Montgomery, who exploded on the scene with consecutive scoring titles.
* A pair of shot-blocking wonders in Bisquero Cutoff and Kuch Kuch Hotahey
* And of course, Kondla
* The man who will go immediately to the very end of the retirement envelope, Jalapa Valley, who spent 16 years sweating to make the MBA, but instead took up the longest residence in history in the cut pile.

Only Philadelphia loses more than one starter.


























Wednesday, June 11, 2014

THE MBA HALL OF FAME


MOST RECENT HALL OF FAMER


Six seasons and out for one of the greatest centers to ever grace a tabletop. Was All-MBA five consecutive years and closed out career with only MVP award of the regular season. Led league three times in blocked shots, including a record 59 in Season 31. Fits in Hall of Fame right behind center Rip Slamjam and guard Shucks Oyster. Ranks as 22nd best player all-time and fifth best center ever behind Diamond Dallas Paige, Jonny Cockaroo, Bill Rustler and Rip Slamjam.



ACTIVE HALL OF FAMERS



Bakshi currently ranks right behind Rip Slamjam and right in front of Shucks Oyster.
Jones currently ranks right behind Doug Fresh and right in front of Marshall Stax.

THE HONOR ROLL

Tuesday, March 18, 2014




PHILADELPHIA 67, MILWAUKEE 62

The big, bad title machine that is the Philadelphia Phobia added championship number 14 and a record fourth consecutive to its ridiculous total, besting the Milwaukee Greyhounds 67-62 to win the finals series 3 games to 1.
Philadelphia, led by the 16-point effort of Sunny Osiris, the only newcomer to the starting lineup from a season ago, broke open a tight contest in the third quarter, then held the challengers at bay in the final stanza.
But perhaps the biggest turn of events in this game came late in the first quarter, when regular season MVP Gato DoMato, the power forward for Milwaukee, was injured and unable to continue in the contest.
Hrundi V. Bakshi, the two guard for the Greyhounds, led everyone in scoring with a 24-point performance. Bakshi would later be named the MVP of the Playoffs for the first time in his Hall of Fame career. Aside from the 15-point effort from DoMato's replacement, the veteran Chi CityMaine, Bakshi would get little offensive help from his teammates in this losing effort, the one finals game in which defense trumped powerful offensive squads.
The Season 32 championship won by the Phobia put a ring on the proverbial finger of point guard Cheetos Jones and earned him Hall of Fame honors, making him the 34th player to join that illustrious notebook.



As stated previously, Hrundi V. Bakshi was an easy choice for Playoff MVP for Season 32. His 22 points-per-game average was the fourth highest total ever in the playoffs, and he was the third-best rebounder in the playoffs from his guard position.
Philadelphia center Ama Spikie was runner-up in the voting, followed by newly christened Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones.
Ed Masterson of San Jose, who retires to join brother Bat as a deputy marshall in Tombstone (where he will be gunned down in the street) added to his most games played number in the post-season, bowing out with a whopping 49 playoff game appearances.
Masterson's teammate, Hall of Famer Sagittal Occlusal, also retiring, finished an illustrious career with 39 games in the playoffs (7th all time) and 599 points (tied with Momadou Zongo for third all time -- the top two are Dan Mann 768 and Uncle Bob Masterson 650).
Tug Hershorts, Philadelphia's power forward, has now played in 43 playoff contests, tied with Cam Bodia for third all time.
Another season in the books, folks. Another Philadelphia championship.

Friday, March 7, 2014

MBA FINALS SEASON 32



PHILADELPHIA 83, MILWAUKEE 73 (GAME 3)

MILWAUKEE--Thanks largely to second-string guard Pismo Beach, the Philadelphia Phobia are now just one win away from capturing an unprecedented fourth consecutive MBA championship.
Beach, subbing for the fouled out Jerry Curl, scored 11 fourth-quarter points as Philadelphia broke open a tight contest to go ahead in the Finals 2 games to 1.
The game was typical of each of these championship contests, which have all been up and down affairs in which neither team cowed to the defensive prowess of the other. In this one, both teams cranked up 60 shots, about 10 shots more each than a team puts up in a typical contest.
Cheetos Jones, who stands to gain Hall of Fame status with another Phobia title, was the Game MVP with a game-high 22 points, 5 rebounds an assist and a steal. The 5-11 point guard also did his usual defensive number on the opposing guard, holding Benny Lava to 10 points below his playoff average.
Jones was not particularly successful from 3-point range, but yakked up 9 treys in a determined attempt to take over the game.
Meanwhile, Milwaukee's Hall of Fame guard Hrundi V. Bakshi, although leading his team with 18 points, did not attempt a single trey.
The Phobia now have a chance to clinch the title on their home court, with two chances to get the one win needed to make every index card on the team immortal.

SPECIAL OBSERVATION: Just to indicate how remarkable Philadelphia has been in this four-season stretch, whether they win it all or not, consider this:
Only two members of the current Philadelphia roster, forward Tug Hershorts and center Ama Spikie were on the roster when the Phobia won the first of its current string of titles in Season 29. So even as they were practically turning the roster over, Philadelphia has retained remarkably consistent excellence.





PHILADELPHIA 82, MILWAUKEE 78 (Game 2)

PHILADELPHIA--After the stellar performance of Philadelphia center Ama Spikie in this one, coach Curly Hogbottom might be ordering all of his players to stare blankly at the wall in front of them for some five minutes at a time.
Spikie, whose unusual Zen method was noted in the previous post, went off in a "must win" Game 2 for a leading 25 points to spur the three-time defending champions to an 82-78 win that evened this championship series at one game each. Spikie was 11 for 13 from the floor, including a pair of 3-pointers, nabbed 4 rebounds, dished out 3 assists and blocked 2 shots while holding his counterpoint Heater VanMeter to 6 points.
The MVP of the Game's efficiency was indicative of the offensive excellence on display by both teams, with Milwaukee shooting 64.2 percent and Philadelphia 60.7 percent, despite their opponents' strong defensive abilities.
Hrundi V. Bakshi followed his 34-point Game 1 explosion with a 20-point outing in this contest, but Milwaukee could never close the gap entirely, although they stayed within reach of Philly throughout the game.
The Greyhounds trailed by 12 with a time unit to go in the third quarter, when Bakshi drained an acrobatic trey, was fouled and converted his free throw to keep his team within 8 points going into the final frame.
The visitors got within three, but after Sunny Osiris muscled his way to the hoop for a bucket that increased Philly's lead to 68-63, Milwaukee coach Raisin Sport went ape-shit on the sidelines, throwing his coat on the court and drawing a technical foul.
Spikie made the subsequent free throw for the Phobia, then passed to Osiris for another Philadelphia basket to give his team a comfortable 71-63 lead that they held to the end, despite another late Milwaukee charge.
Did Sport's histrionics cause his team the game?
"Well," noted Milwaukee guard Benny Lava, "if we would have made our fucking free throws this could have been our game."







MILWAUKEE 101, PHILADELPHIA 73 (GAME 1)

MILWAUKEE--The Milwaukee Greyhounds, led by the 34-point effort of Hall of Fame guard Hrundi V. Bakshi, registered the MBA's first 100-point game of Season 32 to win the opener of the best of five finals series against the three-time defending champion Philadelphia Phobia.
The 101-73 victory was the third in three meetings this season against the Phobia, as the home team played a practically perfect offensive game, coming within five points of the playoff scoring record set by the same Milwaukee franchise in Season 6 against Dallas.
All five Greyhound starters were in double figures and had excellent games, but none more so than the MVP of the Game, Bakshi. The 6-7 guard was red-hot from the start, hitting his first 11 shots in a game in which he was 15 for 17 from the floor. His 34 points was four short of the MBA playoff scoring record set by Dan Mann of Milwaukee on two occasions (Season 9 and Season 12).
Milwaukee, which has now bested Philadelphia in all three of their meetings this season, out-rebounded the Phobia 26-12, shot 66.2 percent from the field and put up an astonishing 71 shots in the game.
"We may have to put Cheetos Jones on Bakshi," said Philadelphia's head coach, Curly Hogbottom. "That's hard for us to do because it takes Jones away from the point, where he is so effective offensively. Plus, Lava has been playing very well for them and could really go off if we move Jones off of him."
An exhausted Ama Spikie would not answer any questions after the game, staring at the wall, just inches away, as if in a motionless trance for a prolonged period of time in the locker room.
"He does that sometimes after a loss," said Hogbottom. "He'll be ready for Game 2."

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Season 32 Playoffs...Semifinals

Milwaukee 69, Sacramento 51 (Game 1)

MILWAUKEE--Veteran point guard Benny Lava (game-high 22 points, game-high 6 rebounds)led the way for the home team Greyhounds who took over after a close first half and coasted to a 69-51 decision in the first of the best of three playoff games.
Lava and All-MBA Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi (18 points)proved to be a potent one-two punch for Milwaukee. The league's top scoring team shot 51.9 percent compared to the league's worst point-producing bunch, which was held to just 46.2 percent accuracy. The stats held true in the rebounding department as well, as the best team in basketball mauled the worst in that department 23-12.
Zingo Mamaluke played well for the losing River Dogs, scoring 18 points and recording three steals.
The game saw a plethora of thefts, with the River Dogs recording six while the Greyhounds accounted for eight. Blocked shots were flying all over as well. Sacramento recorded 11 blocks, and Milwaukee nearly matched that number with 10.


Milwaukee 83, Sacramento 56 (Game 2)

SACRAMENTO--The beating was more thorough this time, with the Greyhounds of Milwaukee shamelessly picking on the underdog River Dogs 83-56 in front of the losers' home crowd.
It was the Milwaukee guards again leading the way and this time Benny Lava was joined by running mate Hrundi V. Bakshi as co-MVP of the Game. Lava led both teams in scoring again with 21 points, despite fouling out, and Bakshi rang up 19, while leading his team with 5 rebounds.
Stretch Cunningham led Sacramento with 14 points and both teams with 6 boards.
The Greyhounds now await the winner of the Philadelphia-San Jose series to play for the MBA title for the first time in 12 seasons.
Milwaukee's franchise has not advanced this far since Hall of Famer Tommy Zoop left the franchise after the team fell one game short of a championship in Season 20. Zoop was a fresh-faced rookie the last time the Greyhounds tasted champagne from the MBA loving cup, way back in Season 18. Milwaukee has been eliminated in the first round five times since the Zoop era ended.
Still, they trail only Philadelphia in overall titles, winning seven times in the first 18 seasons.

San Jose 80, Philadelphia 60 (Game 1)

SAN JOSE -- The Fighting Amigos shocked the basketball world in this semifinal opener, clobbering the three-time defending champion Phobia 80-60 in a game they dominated from start to finish.
Fat Bob Herzfeld (18 points, 4 steals) delivered a 4-point play on the first time unit of the ball game, hitting a trey, getting fouled and making his free throw. And the Amigos were off to the races, despite the fact that Tyler Masterson was tossing the dice for the Philadelphia team.
L.B. Damned (21 points, 4 rebounds, 2 blocks) was the Game MVP for San Jose. Herzfeld's back court mate Funsy Van Slochum added 15 more for the winners.
Meanwhile, the toughest defense in the league was holding Philly to 43.6 percent shooting, making the next contest between these two a do-or-die for the Phobia.

Philadelphia 91, San Jose 66 (Game 2)

PHILADELPHIA--Apparently the Philadelphia Phobia is comfortable on its home floor. With every starter in double figures and none scoring fewer than 14 points, the three-time defending champs not only stayed alive in their hunt for a fourth title, they made a bold statement with this game, exceeding the 20-point margin of victory of San Jose in Game 1 and scoring 91 points against the best defense in the MBA.
After a close first half in which they led 42-39, Philadelphia totally dominated the third and fourth quarters. Center Ama Spikie was the game's high scorer with 24 and the MVP of the Game. Tug Hershorts, the Phobia's 6-11 power forward, registered the second triple-double of his career, scoring 15 points, grabbing a game-high 6 boards and dishing out 5 assists.
The Fighting Amigos blocked nine Philadelphia shots, but it mattered little, as the home team shot a smoking 61.3 percent while getting off 62 shots in the process. Jerry Curl chipped in with 17, Cheetos Jones had 15 and Sunny Osiris added 14 in the romp.
The only notable scorer for San Jose was Game 1 MVP L.B. Damned, who had 18.
The win sets up a winner-takes-the-series showdown in Game 3 at San Jose.
Batten the hatches.


Philadelphia 81, San Jose 76 (Game 3)

SAN JOSE--A 31-point fourth quarter by the home team Fighting Amigos was not enough to make up a 16-point deficit, so the Philadelphia Phobia will have a chance to go after their fourth consecutive title.
San Jose cooked its own goose with 10 fouls in the opening quarter that gave Philly 9 points at the charity stripe and a more-than-solid 26-14 lead. The advantage increased at the end of the next two quarters, thanks to some smoking 3-point shooting by the visitors (10 for 14 from long range).
But with no hope in sight and Cheetos Jones fouled out for Philly, the Amigos began a comeback that saw them cut the 16-point deficit to 8, then 6, then 4 points at 76-72 before Philadelphia's power forward Tug Hershorts (12 points) delivered the dagger in the form of a 3-point basket, putting an end to the late charge.
Hall of Famer Sagittal Occlusal, playing in his final contest for the San Jose franchise, was at the forefront of the comeback attempt and named the Game MVP for his game-high 21 point performance, which included 5 rebounds and 2 blocked shots.
They will never see his like again.
Cheetos Jones led Philadelphia in scoring with 20 (including 5 for 8 from 3-point range), and again, all five starters were in double figures for Philly.
When it came down to it, the calling card of San Jose, the league's best defense, was trumped by the offense of Philadelphia.
The Phobia, the franchise with the most titles in MBA history (13), will now face the franchise with the next-most titles, Milwaukee (7).
The two Eastern Division powers met twice in the regular season, with Milwaukee winning both encounters; the first a home win (69-54) and the second an 84-76 overtime win on Philadelphia's home court.
The two franchises have met in the MBA finals five times prior to this, in Seasons 4,6,11,18 and 19. The first four times they met in the finals, Milwaukee was victorious. But Philadelphia prevailed in Season 19, which happens to be the last time the Greyhounds made it to the final series.
Until now.

Thursday, February 27, 2014