Monday, June 23, 2014

SEASON 33 AT THE HALF (more than any fan needs to know)



Mba leaders at the half

SCORING
1. Chung, Houston 18.9
2. Carter, Milwaukee 18.2
3. Jones, Philadelphia 16.8
3. White, Oklahoma City 16.8
5. Kondla, Dallas 16.6

REBOUNDING
1. Flinthorn, Houston 6.4
1. Arlen, Seattle 6.4
1. Kondla, Dallas 6.4

ASSISTS
1. McGoats, San Jose 4.0
2. L. Jell-o, Charleston 3.0
2. Van Slochum, Charleston 3.0
2. Lava, Milwaukee 3.0
2. Hershorts, Philadelphia 3.0

STEALS
1. Lemieux, Sacramento 8
2. L. Jell-o, Charleston 6
2. Do Mato, San Jose 6


BLOCKED SHOTS
1. Redfern, Charleston 40
2. Whos, Houston 22
3. CityMaine, Milwaukee 15

3-POINT SHOOTING
1. Herzfeld, Dallas 88.9 percent 8 made
2. White, Oklahoma City 72.7 percent 8 made
3. Bakshi, Houston 66.7 percent 10 made

FREE THROW SHOOTING
1. Arlen, Seattle 100 percent 14 made
2. Redfern, Charleston 100 percent 10 made
3. Chung, Houston, 93.3 percent, 14 made

TOP SCORING GAMES
34 points—Ching-Chong Chung, Houston vs. Chicago
32 points—Schweaty Ballz, San Jose vs. Seattle
30 points—Cheetos Jones, Philadelphia vs. Seattle

MVPS OF THE GAME
1. Redfern, Charleston 4
2. Do Mato, San Jose 3
3. Hershorts, Philadelphia 2
3. Jones, Philadelphia 2





All star notes:
* Although the game will be played in Chicago, no Gale players made the team
* Ching-Chong Chung makes his 6th all star game, one of just 23 players in MBA history to do so and the first to reach the milestone since Season 23 when Linus Mandrake made it for Milwaukee the sixth time. Of the 23 who made six all star games, only Marcus Pettis (7), Flash Cola, Dolf Whizbang, Mandrake and now Chung have not made the Hall of Fame. Chung, in his 8th season, would tie Silo Chamberlin as the shortest Hall of Famer at 5-10 if he makes the Hall.

MOST ALL STAR GAME APPEARANCES
10-Uncle Bob Masterson
10-Momadou Zongo
9-Curly Hogbottom
8-Doug Fresh
8-Jonny Cockaroo
7-Boone Doggle
7-Rip Slamjam
7-Tommy Zoop
7-Cam Bodia
7-Marcus Pettis
7-Diamond Dallas Paige
7-Bill Rustler
7-Sagittal Occlusal
6-Soul Duran
6-Raisin Sport
6-Mable Reed
6-Link Lennex
6-Flash Cola
6-Doc Watson
6-Guru Gannon
6-Dolf Whizbang
6-Linus Mandrake
6-Ching-Chong Chung


* The East has won 21 games, the West has won 11, but the West has won 5 of the last 6

* The only former MVP of the All Star Game on either roster is Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones, who won the honor twice.

* There are 11 first-time All Stars, over half the field. Only one rookie made the team. Two oldest players are both in their 9th season.

* Conspicuous by his absence is Houston's Hrundi V. Bakshi, the league's other active Hall of Famer.

* Worthy players squeezed off the team: guard Bakshi of Houston (20.4)and forwards Nobby Nabob of Chicago (20.8) and Bruno Pantanal of Milwaukee (20.2)


MBA LOSING SOME SUPERB TALENT TO RETIREMENT

Retirement announcements hit the MBA with a force rarely seen in the past, including the biggest name of all, the enigmatic but unworldly talent, center Tom "The Bomb" Kondla of Dallas bowing out of the league after just six short seasons, five of which he totally dominated the position. Kondla, a shot-blocker and rebounder extraordinaire (to say nothing of his superb scoring ability) will undoubtedly retire and go straight to the Hall of Fame, despite his truncated career. Still, Dallas will not be without a nearly equal replacement in Max Payne, the 7-footer generally acknowledged to be the second best center in the league who has had to play the last three campaigns behind Kondla.
Twenty-two retirements means that the league will be losing 6 players next season in total volume (since 16 rookies enter every season).
But quality trumps volume in Season 33. Among the greats leaving the game will be:
* Defensive genius Cock A. Doodledoo, injured for the third time in his career this season
* Longtime quality power forward 6-11 Tug Hershorts, who was a part of so many championships.
* Sharpshooting guard Wes Montgomery, who exploded on the scene with consecutive scoring titles.
* A pair of shot-blocking wonders in Bisquero Cutoff and Kuch Kuch Hotahey
* And of course, Kondla
* The man who will go immediately to the very end of the retirement envelope, Jalapa Valley, who spent 16 years sweating to make the MBA, but instead took up the longest residence in history in the cut pile.

Only Philadelphia loses more than one starter.


























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