Looking at the Season 47 Draft and Improvements

R=rookie

PP=prime pick

Numbers next to prime pick are when prime pick was taken and how many rolls of the dice it took to get the player eventually chosen...1 or 6 needed to get named player, so higher the number the worse choice the team is getting.

Using Tyler’s chart and my draft tracking info as well as Tyler’s projection of the winners, here’s more commentary.

1. San Jose—Snagged the prize of the draft with prime pick selection of guard Jesse Sherwood, who scored 39 points in the rookies vs. free agents game. He will pair with Mister Methane at guard to give this team a circus-like 3-point shooting gunner group. The Fighting Amigos also picked up free agent and last season’s Rookie of the Year Freddy Chepuzzo with their first pick (second overall). Both he and Methane (another Rookie of the Year) were prone to foul trouble. Together they are an imposing duo to pair with Sherwood. San Jose is now a championship contender.

Dave Grade: A+

2. Oklahoma City — Decimated by the loss of five free agents, they lured back star center Chochky Galumpkus with the first prime pick in the draft, then got point guard passing great veteran Red Repartee with their second pick. They emerged better than expected but not good enough to make the playoffs.

Dave Grade: A+

3. Los Angeles — Their three picks nabbed the three best rookie forwards in the draft, with rebounding machine Sheetrock Hudson the main prize. Had to dig in cut pile for starting center, getting Jonk Vanderdonk, who is serviceable.

Dave Grade: A-

4. Philadelphia — Replaced Hall of Fame guard Colquitt Croix with rookie guard Dick Papers, who should be good but is still a downgrade.

Dave Grade: B

5. Milwaukee — Best pick was prime pick second-year forward Wardy Joubert III who will give Greyhounds one of the biggest front lines in MBA history. Will is be enough to finally get them into the playoffs?

Dave Grade: B-

6. Charleston — Hit hard by two starting lineup retirements, they did better with their random pick (guard Hurricane Furrwizard) than they did with their prime pick guard Charles Pompeo, who took seven rolls of the dice to attain. Resorted to cut pile draft for old man Shag Bark to fill out starting lineup at forward to replace All-MBA Flip Testerton.

Dave Grade: B

7. Dallas — Defending champs picking last did OK with just two picks in that they snagged solid veteran forward Goodbar “Muddy” Masterson with their prime pick. Will he push Tiger Masterson for starting spot. At worst he’s a fine backup. Demons now have three Mastersons on their roster, the most ever by one team, Meat Pants Masterson being the third.

Dave Grade: B-

8. Sacramento — Veteran club cut both of its draft picks and will go after title with exact same roster as last season. Their big gains came in improvements. (See below).

Dave Grade: F

9. Seattle — Team started the draft with the league’s All-MBA center, Seven Castanza, then proceeded to use all three draft picks on centers, including prime pick, which netted them defensive whiz Willie Carry McCoffee. Will he dislodge Castanza? This team is a mess.

Dave Grade: C

10. Kansas City — After losing top player Freddy Chepuzzo to free agency, had horrendous draft. May not even win a game. Their second prime pick doomed them when it took seven rolls of the cube of chance to secure rookie guard Joe Momsawhore when they needed someone like Jesse Sherwood, who went on the very next pick to San Jose. They will be rolling to see if they move to another city after this season. Another mess-of-a-team.

Dave Grade: D

 

Improvement/Regression Notes

Kansas City--More regressions than improvements.

San Jose--Both young starting forwards, Greenbeard and Creamer, improved somewhat, while big draft get Freddy Chepuzzo added more 3-point shooting to his arsenal, the positive/negative aspect of which will be determined.

Los Angeles--Nothing major for starters.

Milwaukee--Starting center Papa Popcorn slight improvement. Some nice bench improvement.

Seattle--Prime draft pick Willie Carry McCoffee got somewhat worse, but not a lot. All-MBA center Seven Castanza better on the dribble. Potatoes O'Gratin became a better passer and can now play the point and shoot more treys. Ancient forward Stu Gatz still getting better with slight rebound improvement.

Philadelphia--Have to look really close to see any improvements.

Oklahoma City--Draft picks Chochky Galumpkus (a returning player from free agency) will pass better and excellent point guard passer Red Reparee got significantly worse on the dribble.

Charleston--Starting forward Frog Morton improved twice against the dribble and once against the pass, making him a significantly better ball hawk. Backup center Sabado Gigante continues to get better while languishing on the bench behind Hall of Famer J.J. Gargantuan, who ages gracefully.

Sacramento--Standing pat with strong veteran lineup, they bucked the odds by improving overall instead of declining. Four of the five starters got plusses, the biggest coming at guards where Great Gruncle Terry and Potus Obama both improved significantly. Best defensive team last season just got better. Will it be enough to claim the big prize?

Dallas--Biggest story is the passing decline of Hall of Fame forward Chip Battoe, giving him a chink in the armour as he enters his fifth season. He's still easily the best forward in the draft and a favorite to garner his fifth straight regular season MVP. But above average defenders will be able to take advantage of his passing liability to the point where he may have to move to power forward. Having said that, anyone would still grab him up if they could. Other Dallas improvements came largely in bench players. Ancient point guard Louie Subgum got worse, but not significantly. Bottom line, Dallas is still the team to beat.

Introducing the Class of '47 Rookies ... with rankings, including free agents

 Rating the Season 47

 Rookies and Free Agents

   The last of the 16 rookies made for Season 47 turned out to be a Hall of Fame-caliber guard by the name of Jesse Shershot.

    The 6-2 guard will be a prize for any team that snares him, as he is not only the tallest guard in the draft, but the best shot who can score from every zone, including 3-Point Land, and also plays better than average defense.

   He was the creation of Tyler Masterson's significant other, Jesse Sherwood, who was handed the keys to Frankenstein's laboratory by Dave Masterson for the player named after her. 

   She responded with flying colors and turned the draft from drab to a compelling upcoming event.

So, without further adieu, here's the rookies and free agents, grouped by league owners Dave and Tyler.

Dave Rookie Rankings

Excellent Rookie Guards

Jesse Shershot

Dick Papers

Excellent Rookie Forwards

Sheetrock Hudson

Good Rookie Guards

Buddy "Stankpig" Pigglesworth

Franswa Perfecto

Joe Momsawhore

Good Rookie Forwards

Jospah Gecan

Entha Shortzone

Vito Andolini

Nombre Oculto

Good Rookie Centers

K-ream Skyhook

Taco Toosdae

Cut-pile bound rookies

Guard-- Boney Skelletrino

Guard-- Itsaka Numdrum

Forward-- Tootie Heathcliffe

Center-- Doli Doli Firenze

Tyler Rookies Rankings (based on 1-5 stars system)

5-Star Rookie Guards

Jesse Shershot

4-Star Rookie Guards

Dick Papers

3-Star Rookie Guards

Joe Momsawhore

2 1/2-Star Rookie Guards

Franswa Perfecto

2-Star Rookie Guards

Buddy "Stankpig" Pigglesworth

1 1/2-Star Rookie Guards

Boney Skelletrino

Itsaka Numdrum

4-Star Rookie Forwards

Sheetrock Hudson

3-Star Rookie Forwards

Entha Shortzone

2 1/2-Star Rookie Forwards

Vito Andolini

2-Star Rookie Forwards

Jospah Gecan

1 1/2-Star Rookie Forwards

Tootie Heathcliffe

Nombre Oculto

2 1/2-Star Rookie Centers

K-ream Skyhook

2-Star Rookie Centers

Taco Toosdae

Doli Doli Firenze

Dave Free Agent Rankings 

Excellent Free-Agent Guards

Freddy Chepuzzo

Very Good Free-Agent Guards

Hurricane Furrwizard

Good Free-Agent Guards

Red Reparee

Borderline Good Free-Agent Guards

Tweedle D. Dee

Questionable Free-Agent Guards

Charlest "FP" Popmeo

Very Good Free-Agent Forwards

Goodbar "Muddy" Masterson

Wardy "Big Wood" Joubert III

Excellent Free-Agent Centers

Chochky Galumpkus

Willie Carry McCoffee

Leaning Toward Cut-Pile Free-Agent Centers

Asiago Cheez

SEASON 47 DRAFT TO BE HELD ON THANKSGIVING DAY

Season 47 Free Agents

10 PLAYERS DECLARE FOR 

FREE AGENCY 

OKLAHOMA CITY WIPED OUT

While defending champion Dallas and MBA finals club Sacramento retained all of the available players on their rosters, Oklahoma City, one of the other two playoff teams from last season, was decimated with free agent declarations.

Five of the 10 Lariats, including star centers Chochky Galumpkus and Willie Carry McCoffee, along with All Star Game guard Hurricane Furrwizard will all be added to the upcoming draft from Oklahoma City.

Kansas City suffered a big blow as well. It's only loss was last season's Rookie of the Year, guard Freddy Chepuzzo.

Milwaukee lost back-up guard Red Reparee, which negated the only trade consumated by the league's two owners, whereby Reparee would have gone to San Jose in exchange for a number of draft picks by both teams.

Fully half the teams made it through the free agency period unscathed with 10 players being added to the 16 rookies. This means that there will be 26 players in the draft. As of now, each team will get at least two picks, and all but the four playoff teams from last season getting a third pick.

Wrapping up Season 46

Other Notes

--- only one coach fired following Season 46...L.A. cans Dorf Dingman, hires Naceg Gecan

-- in team vs. team all-time records...

1. only team Seattle has a winning record against is Kansas City

2. Milwaukee's only losing record is against Philly 54-56

3. LA/Houston has winning record against all but Milwaukee and Philly

4. Philadelphia is only team to have a winning record against everyone

5. Dallas adds Charleston and Oklahoma City to the teams they have winning records against all time.

NEXT UP: Free agent declarations for Season 47

 

Season 46 Playoff Summary

 

MVP OF THE PLAYOFFS...SEASON 46

Fourth year Hall of Fame forward Chip Battoe snagged his first Playoff MVP award in his first MBA Finals, tying two blocked shots records and leading everyone in scoring. In leading his Dallas Demons to the Season 46 Championship, Battoe also earned his first championship ring, giving him 15 total awards on his card (and counting). 

Battoe is the first forward to win Playoff MVP since Season 38 when Hall of Famer Art Vandalay won it for Chicago's last championship team. 

Battoe joins five other Dallas Demon players who have won the Playoff MVP award. They are:

Bingo Bango...Season 42

Mamadou Zongo...Season 28

Joey Two-Tones...Season 23

Tersio Tataruga...Season 21

Shooter Flatch...Season 20

The 15 awards on Battoe's card moves him into a tie for 14th place all time with Doc Watson and Cam Bodia in the Hall of Fame rankings, moving him past:

14 awards

Colquitt Croix

Cheetos Jones

Dan Mann

13 awards

Raisin Sport

Guru Gannon

Tommy Zoop

12 awards

Bill Rustler

Rip Slamjam

11 awards

Ching-Chong Chung

Tom "The Bomb" Kondla

J.J. Gargantuan (still active)

Shucks Oyster

Gato Do Mato

Beezow Bop-Bop

Battoe started the season with 10 awards in three seasons and captured all 5 of the awards that he could possibly obtain in Season 46. The two that had eluded him prior to this season were the Playoff MVP award and the championship ring. In winning those two this season, he now joins an elite list of just 5 players who have every award possible on their cards. They are:

PLAYERS WHO HAVE WON EVERY AWARD POSSIBLE

CURLY HOGBOTTOM

SAGITTAL OCCLUSAL

HRUNDI V. BAKSHI

NAF NAF

CHIP BATTOE

(Of that elite group, only two players...Naf Naf and Sagittal Occlusal also added the MVP of the All Star Game to their career laurels, with Naf Naf winning it twice).

The Newest Hall of Fame member (51st)

He had to sit one season, but forward Baba Brinkman has earned Veterans Committee status in the MBA Hall of Fame, where he will fit into the picture just ahead of Mable Reed and just behind Marshall Stax. 

The 51st member of the Hall, Brinkman began his career in Dallas as a backup, but found his first true home in Milwaukee, where he became an immediate hit as a top-flight scorer who would lead his clubs in points per game 5 times. He made 7 All Star Games and earned a spot on the All-MBA team in his third campaign when he had career highs in points (19.6) and rebounds (5.1). Versatility was a strength for Brinkman, who also excelled in steals, blocked shots and free throwing. Despite a penchant for unleashing innacurate 3-pointers, he finished his career with a shooting percentage of 64.4 percent. He spent his final three seasons in Los Angeles, culminating in a Season 45 championship in his last go-round, the first title for The Big One. 

TEAM PLAYOFF STATS FOR CHAMPS FROM DALLAS

 

Season 46 Finals Game 4...Sacramento at Dallas

Dallas 71, Sacramento 53

DALLAS DEMONS ROMP TO MBA TITLE 

DALLAS -- The Dallas Demons, led by Hall of Fame star forward Chip "the Crip" Battoe and unsung veteran guard Meat Pants Masterson, ran roughshod over the visiting Sacramento River Dogs 71-53 to capture the Season 46 MBA championship.

The title is the fourth in the franchise's history and the first since Season 28, coming in the team's fifth playoff appearance in the last six seasons.

At no time in this game did the Demons look particularly threatened by Sacramento, who they handled 3  to 1 in the Finals. Starting with a 22-12 lead after the first quarter, Dallas hounded every pass and dribble by the River Dogs, limiting them to just 53 points in the entire contest after allowing 80-plus points to their opponent in the previous two games. They also held the R-Dogs to just 44 percent shooting.

Dallas coach Country Slaughter, the longest tenured leader in the MBA at 30 seasons, made a key move at the urging of franchise director Tyler Masterson with the removal of longtime star Bingo Bango from the starting lineup in favor of Meat Pants Masterson. The thought of nepotism was removed when the sixth-season shooting guard scored a game-high 20 points.

The only hiccup in the dominance of Dallas in this game came in the fourth quarter when, like a nearly burned out light bulb, the visitors played their brightest basketball, cutting the 15-point lead to 10. But they came no closer as the Demons, to the delight of their Guiness-guzzling fans (who spilled their quaff all over each other) regained control and coasted home by an 18-point margin. The victory kept Dallas unbeaten with an 8-0 home record for Season 46.

Previous Dallas championships came in Seasons 20, 21 and 28. This must be considered the second golden age of the Demons, but they will still have to go some to surpass the first, which consisted of two straight titles followed by two more Finals appearances. But with Battoe on the team and the emergence of Meat Pants Masterson, they would have to be the Vegas odds-on favorite at this time going into Season 47.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Who else but CHIP "THE CRIP" BATTOE, Hall of Fame forward for the champion Dallas Demons, would you expect to lead the way in the title game? Battoe tied his own playoff record for blocked shots in one game by slapping away 9 in this game, something he has now done twice in this series and three times overall. (He fell just one blocked shot short of the playoff record 37 set by Dallas Hall of Fame center Max Payne the last time the Demons won it all in Season 28). Battoe had 16 points in this game on 8 for 14 shooting to go with his 9 blocks, grabbing 3 rebounds and dishing out 2 assists. It remains to be seen whether he has earned the MVP of the Playoffs award, the last available honor that has thus far escaped him in his four MBA seasons. He scored the other such honor in this game, securing a championship ring. Going into the season, he was one of just 7 Hall of Fame players who did not have a ring.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Starting his first game in a six-season career, Dallas shooting guard Meat Pants Masterson responded with a game-high 20 point performance, which included three long bombs as he totally out-played his opposite, Potus Obama. Masterson also added 1 rebound, 2 assists and 2 blocked shots, assuring Dallas fans that the loss of Bango will not be so keenly felt in the seasons to come.

-- The game's high scorer in the previous two contests, Sacramento center Tree Fiddy chose to be a distributor in this one, passing out a game-high (tied) 4 dimes while scoring just 8 points. He also led everyone in the game in rebounds with 6, while registering 1 steal and 1 blocked shot.

-- Despite being guarded by the best defensive forward in league history, Sacramento's Doo-rag Dripp turned in his second consecutive 16-point game, leading his team in scoring. The relentless sixth-year player also led the R-Dogs in blocked shots with 3 while pulling down 5 rebounds and doling out 2 assists.

NEXT UP: The announcement of the Playoff MVP and the tallying of the playoff leaders.

MBA Finals...Game 3...Dallas at Sacramento

 Sacramento 80, Dallas 70

RIVER DOGS BARK BIG TO STAY ALIVE

SACRAMENTO--Sacramento gave its Dog Pound faithful something to howl about tonight, besting powerful Dallas 80-70 to stay alive in this Finals series 2 games to 1.

The R-Dogs used a high-tempo third-quarter to break open a close game, out-scoring the visiting Demons 27-20, with Player of the Game Tree Fiddy potting two long treys in the period, sending the home team fans into a mongrel frenzy.

The teams now return to Dallas, where the Demons, unbeaten at home all season, will attempt to wrap up the championship.

Shooting guard Potus Obama of Sacramento shot for shit in the victory, going just 3 for 17, but made up for his goose-like eye by tying the playoff record for steals in one game, pilfering 6.

Meanwhile, league MVP and Hall of Famer Chip Battoe of Dallas had an off night with just 11 points, but still managed a game-high 7 blocked shots.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Sacramento's favorite son, center TREE FIDDY led the game in scoring for the second contest in a row, pouring in 26 points to exceed his total of 24 from the previous game. The 6-8 Fiddy out-quicked the lumbering 7-2 behemoth GoToo Grot of Dallas to go 12 for 15 from the floor, popping in the aforementioned pair of huge treys. He tied Grot for game-high rebounding honors with 7 while leading his team in blocked shots with 3.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Bucking for Playoff MVP, third-year Sacramento point guard Great Gruncle Terry dominated his man Louie Subgum, scoring 18 points, tying Subgum for most assists in the game with 5 and pulling down 4 rebounds.

-- Almost removed from the starting lineup prior to this game, Sacramento forward Doo-rag Dripp responded by out-playing Chip Battoe, despite getting his shot blocked at least 6 more times. Dripp was able to play a good chunk of the game with Battoe on the bench and came away with 16 points, 5 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal and 2 blocked shots.

-- The center position was a point of focus for both teams, with the man in the middle leading both clubs in scoring. GoToo Grot of Dallas led the way for his team with 20 points while tying for game-high in rebounds with 7, blocking 2 shots and adding 1 assist. 

-- Dallas power forward Tiger Masterson has increased his scoring output every game in the finals, peaking with the 19 points he scored in this loss. Masterson also contributed 5 rebounds and 1 assist.

The Steals Record-holders for a single playoff game (the all-time record is 7)

Season 46...Potus Obama, Sacramento vs. Dallas...6 steals

Season 30...Boone Doggle, Philadelphia vs. San Jose...6 steals

Season 27...Moxie Mamalucco, Charleston vs. Oklahoma City...6 steals

Season 23...Joey Two-Tones, Dallas vs. Philadelphia...6 steals

(The all-time record for steals in a game is shared by Moxie Mamalucco of Sacramento in Season 33 and Hall of Famer Dan Mann of Milwaukee in Season 12...both with 7)