Season 50, Featured Game No. 1...plus Golden Bonus Extras

 DALLAS 78, SACRAMENTO 52 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

DEMONS K.O. SACRAMENTO K-9s

DALLAS -- The Dallas Demons opened Season 50 by sticking the collective noses of the Sacramento River Dogs into their own doo-doo, running them off the court with a 78-52 home-opening win. 

The first half of this cross-over contest was especially laughable, as Dallas held the visitors to 29.2 percent shooting on the way to a ridiculous 41-14 lead; a two-quarter dominance in which they could seemingly do no wrong, especially defensively.

The home team's 13-0 run to start the second quarter pretty much buried the R-Dogs, who were the victims of an eventual total of 11 Dallas blocked shots.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Fifth-year star center CHOCHKY GALUMPKUS of the Dallas Demons totally destroyed his Hall of Fame counterpart, Tree Fiddy, on the way to a game-high 25-point performance. The 7-1, two-time All-MBA pivot was 12 for 16 from the floor, 1 for 1 from the foul line, pulled down 4 boards, dished 1 assist and blocked 1 shot. He's set a nice base for competing for foil star number 3.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- The last of the incredibly talented rookie guards, Juzan Djinn, gave an excellent account of himself in his initial MBA contest, scoring 14 points, grabbing 2 boards, handing out 2 assists and blocking 3 shots. He lorded it over Junior Dabas and Boney Skelletrino of Sacramento.

-- Dallas shooting guard Itsaka Numdrum continued to impress after his break-out season last campaign. The 6-4 Numdrum scored 13 points, tied for game-high in rebounds with 6, blocked 3 shots, gave out 2 assists and popped in all three of his 3-point shots. 

-- The longest tenured Demon, forward Al A. Orden, celebrated his 10th season with the team by showing off his improved passing skills. Orden impressed everyone with his game-high 8 assists, while tying for game-high in rebounds with 6. He was second on his team in scoring with 15 points.

-- 6-9 fifth-year power forward Wardy Joubert III was the lone bright spot in this sea of vomit, scoring a team-high 21 points while pulling down a team-high 4 rebounds. He also blocked 1 shot. 

MBA Standings … Season 50

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA…..1-0

MILWAUKEE……. 1-0

DALLAS…………..1-0

CHARLESTON…... 0-1

OKLAHOMA CITY 0-1

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES…..1-0

SAN JOSE

GILLETTE

SACRAMENTO….....0-1

SEATTLE……………0-1

 

Next Game:  Dave teams are winless thus far into this young season, but he’s guaranteed a victory in the next contest, with the defending champion San Jose Fighting Amigos traveling to the wilds of Wyoming to face the Gillette Humps.

Season 50 Golden Anniversary Bonus

MOUNT RUSHMORE 

OF EACH FRANCHISE

FIRST OF 11 TEAMS, BASED ON NUMBER OF AWARDS GARNERED BY A PLAYER WHILE PLAYING FOR THIS FRANCHISE.

DALLAS DEMONS

CHIP BATTOE, Hall of Fame forward

SHOOTER FLATCH, Hall of Fame forward

JOEY TWO-TONES, Hall of Fame guard

MAX PAYNE, Hall of Fame center

2nd Golden Bonus: 👎

The 10 Lowest-ranked players in MBA History

No. 10

This guard came into the league in Season 31 and spent 7 consecutive seasons in the cut pile, never even getting a sniff of an MBA roster, let alone getting on an MBA tabletop. I believe this was a Phil Davia name. Awful player. Truly horrible.