SEASON 44 PREDICTIONS/PREVIEW

THE WEST

1.(unanimous) San Jose Fighting Amigos 8-2, First place in Season 43...lost in Finals to Philadelphia
Biggest losses: forward Blue "Rondo" Alaturk retired after missing most of previous season to injury.
Major additions: rookie forward Cam Caldwell will start at small forward
The skinny:Addressed need at starting forward and added depth with rookie guard Cha-Cha Bamba. Big three of YourMajesty Lumpkins, Dayshotta Leo and All-MBA center Hunk R. Down are back. Biggest question is whether forward Egg Yolk Carpaccio can continue his improved play from last season's playoffs. Should be able to fend off Sacramento and Los Angeles for first in the West.

2.(unanimous) Sacramento River Dogs 4-6, Fourth place in Season 43
Biggest losses:Point guard Con Gusto to free agency
Major additions: 6-5 point guard "Great" Gruncle Terry, top rookie point guard in draft; return of veteran forward Pap Smearz lost to injury last season.
The skinny:Could this finally be a playoff year for the R-Dogs? Nabbing Terry in the draft to lead the offense and the return of Smearz makes Sacramento starting lineup a solid one. Back-up guard Peeshie Pooshie, acquired in trade, should help off the bench. And if center Tree Fiddy can have his second straight injury-free year, coach Frankie Pantangeli's boys could finally be invited into the post-season after years of "waiting in the lobby." If they don't make the playoffs, it will mark a 10th straight year of futility and require a dice roll for possibly changing the franchise city.

3.(unanimous) Los Angeles Big One 4-6, Third place in Season 43
Biggest losses:None
Major additions: Guard Norman Conquest, defensive stalwart and top free-agent guard in draft.
The skinny:Conquest replaces league-leading rebounder Steve Carter in the starting lineup, just as the latter is starting to show his 16 seasons. Seven-foot forward Tomm Foolerie will replace seven-season starter Walter Sobchack at forward, which should at least add more rebounding. The Big One is a deep, deep team that has the potential to make the playoffs and even finish atop the West. There is almost no chance they will finish lower than third.

4.(unanimous) Seattle Stampede 2-8, Last place in Season 43
Biggest losses:None
Major additions:Rookie center Seven Castanza and rookie two guard Potatoes O'Gratin, both upgrades to starting lineup.
The skinny:Improved its roster somewhat since last season, replacing half the squad. Scoring will still be a problem for the Stampede, which finished last in the league with just 67.5 points per game. Also last in defense (82.1 ppg yielded), improved only slightly there.

5.(unanimous) Oklahoma City Lariats 5-5, Second place in Season 43...lost in Semi-finals to Philadelphia
Biggest losses:All-MBA forward and team MVP Bang-Bang Reiner(19.0 ppg) to free agency; league-leader in assists, guard Mel A. Noma retired.
Major additions:Back-up center, 7-foot rookie Dupa Yashu
The skinny:Another re-vamped roster with 5 new players, there will be no big surprising season like last year's for the Lariats, who will see league-best four straight playoff appearances come to an end.

THE EAST

1.(Dave-1, Tyler-2) Chicago Gale 7-3, Second place in Season 43...lost in Semi-finals to San Jose
Biggest losses:Three-year starter and defensive mainstay, guard Norman Conquest to free agency.
Major additions:All-MBA forward Bang-Bang Reiner (19.0 ppg) and excellent-looking rookie two guard, 6-6 Lannigan Lord Hobo.
The skinny:Gale has not had back-to-back playoff appearances in eight seasons, but along with Philadelphia, look like the cream of the crop in the East. Forward Bang-Bang Reiner was runner-up to league MVP Chip Battoe last season while leading surprising Lariats. He sends 19.5 points per game scorer Bill Cull to the Chicago bench, losing no scoring punch and adding defense. Rookie two guard Hobo is a big, strong rebounder and point guard Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo has added accuracy to his already-potent 3-point shot of last season. Chicago surprised everyone by jumping into the playoffs last season, but this year they are aiming for the whole enchilada.

1.(Tyler-1, Dave-2) Philadelphia Phobia 9-1, First place in Season 43...Won it all!
Biggest losses:Longtime stalwart center Diss Reflexia (14.7 ppg), MVP of Playoffs.
Major additions:Top defender and league-leading assist man (tied) forward Wawa Wewa in trade with Charleston. Rookie forward Cheetah Vajajay further adds to depth.
The skinny:They return all but center Diss Reflexia, but added strong team player Wawa Wewa to a team that lost just two games all season and won the 16th championship for this proud franchise. 6-11 center Carga Larga is a more-than-capable replacement in the middle, and the team defense, a league-best 67.0 per game yield, should be just as good. With the retirement of Naf Naf, fifth-year point guard Colquitt Croix will battle Los Angeles second-year guard Dr. Marcus Brody for the distinction of the league's top man at that position. Croix could finally win his first scoring title.

3.(Dave-3, Tyler-4) Charleston Mountaineers 5-5, Fourth place in Season 43
Biggest losses:Three starters...Hall of Fame guards Naf Naf and Beezow Bop-Bop retired, forward Wawa Wewa traded to Philadelphia.
Major additions:Four of five starters replaced...included is top-rated rookie forward, 6-9 Frog Morton.
The skinny:The league's youngest roster looks nothing like the 10-0 powerhouse of two seasons ago, but they will enter the campaign in better shape than expected after a 50 percent revamp. Center J.J. Gargantuan is one award away from being the league's only active Hall of Famer, but he did not have a good go of it last season and has regressed some more in the off season. Almost no prayer of out-distancing Philly and Chicago for a playoff spot, but could be interesting team.

3.(Tyler-3, Dave-4) Dallas Demons 6-4, Third place in Season 43
Biggest losses:11-season veteran forward, "Mr. Dallas," Matthew Vanden Boogart (16.2 ppg) to retirement.
Major additions:rebounding behemoth and league's biggest player, 7-2 GoToo Grot, acquired in trade with Sacramento, will replace General Horseplay at center.
The skinny:Just missed playoffs last season with fine 6-4 record. Had a piss-poor draft and failed to fill in forward hole left by Boogart. But they still have sensational league MVP forward Chip "the Crip" Battoe, who will move from big to small forward this season. Could surprise, but doubtful.

5.(unanimous) Milwaukee Greyhounds 0-10, Last place in Season 43
Biggest losses:forward Flip Testerton, team's top rebounder, to free agency.
Major additions:6-7 rookie point guard Fatty McButterpants who will immediately become focus of team's rebuild; free agent point guard Con Gusto from Sacramento who adds depth.
The skinny:Revamped 0-10 roster of a season ago by 50 percent. Should win a game or two, but getting out of the cellar will be a chore.