Season 42 MBA Preview

If pre-season predictions are to be believed, the MBA will see the same four teams, Oklahoma City, Charleston, Dallas and San Jose back in the playoffs. But the deeper West could surprise with as many as four playoff hopefuls, while the East has Philadelphia possibly in the mix.

THE WEST

Oklahoma City Lariats
PREDICTED FINISH: D-First, T-Second
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: First, 9-1 (5-1) Champions!
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 41
ROSTER TURNOVER: 50 percent
BIGGEST LOSSES: G-Yipeekayee Masterfalcon (17.6 ppg)retired, F-Pap Smearz (14.2 ppg) traded
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: G-Ginger Vampire (17.5 ppg)in trade, C-Carga Larga (10.9 ppg, 5.4 RPG)in trade
WEAKNESS: Less depth at forward than last season.
STRENGTH: Overall Depth, Defense, Offense
THE SKINNY: Two-time defending champs lost second Hall of Fame guard in as many seasons with retirement of Masterfalcon. Owner decided to go for third straight title by acquiring veteran point guard Ginger Vampire to replace him, also strengthening center position by getting Carga Larga to back up 17-season Hall of Famer Max Payne in the pivot. Will it be enough? Bang-Bang Reiner is a better scorer who will move into the position vacated by Smearz, but Smearz provided defense and rebounding too. The Lariats should have a solid chance of defending their title again.


San Jose Fighting Amigos
PREDICTED FINISH: D-Second, T-First
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: Second, 5-5 (0-2)
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 41
ROSTER TURNOVER: 30 percent (tied for least turnover)
BIGGEST LOSSES: F-Doo-Rag Dripp (18.5 ppg in playoffs)free agency
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: F-Kyle Sherwood (10.7 ppg)free agent in draft
WEAKNESS: Defense at guard position, scoring at forward position
STRENGTH: Front court depth is best in league, top scoring guard tandem
THE SKINNY: San Jose lost a great young scorer and defender at forward when Doo-Rag Dripp declared himself a free agent in the draft. But the team recovered by getting an even better defender at forward, Kyle Sherwood. They return the best scoring guard tandem in the league in YourMajesty Lumpkins (18.3 ppg) and Dayshotta Leo (18.2 ppg), the league's top rebounder in center Pippi Pippistrelli (6.6 per game) and defensive forward stalwart Blue "Rondo" Alaturk. Back-court back ups Sven Marquardt, Eggyolk Carpaccio and Hunk R. Down are superb. Will it be enough to topple Lariats?

Los Angeles Big One
PREDICTED FINISH: D-Third, T-Fourth
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: Last, 2-8
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 36
ROSTER TURNOVER: 60 percent (tied for biggest turnover)(Oldest roster in league)
BIGGEST LOSSES: G-Bingo Bango (10.8 ppg in limited action)
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: C-Chutcher Mouthchair (rookie in draft), G-Steve Carter (13.6 ppg, 4.9 rpg) in cut draft
WEAKNESS: Passing, with Mouthchair team's best passer and defense
STRENGTH: Scoring and depth
THE SKINNY: Easily the most improved team in the league, The Big One did a roster makeover, coming up with three new pieces who make them an instant playoff contender. Mouthchair is the most heralded new center to enter the league since Tom "The Bomb" Kondla joined Seattle 14 campaigns ago. Carter and rookie Avenish McDoogle solidfy the guard spot.

Seattle Stampede
PREDICTED FINISH: D-Last, T-Third
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: Fourth, 4-6
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 40
ROSTER TURNOVER: 40 percent
BIGGEST LOSSES: G-Ginger Vampire (17.5 ppg)traded
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: C-Naceg Gecan (12.7 ppg, 6.3 rpg)free agent in draft, F-Pap Smearz (14.2 ppg)via trade
WEAKNESS: Rebounding, especially at guard where two weak rebounders will hurt
STRENGTH: League's worst defense (85.1 ppg) should get better just by adding Smearz.
THE SKINNY: If everything goes just right for Seattle, they could contend for a playoff spot. If Gecan has another good year it might be enough to offset the loss of their fearless leader, Vampire.

Sacramento River Dogs
PREDICTED FINISH: D-Fourth, T-Last
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: Third, 5-5
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 34
ROSTER TURNOVER: 60 percent (tied for biggest roster turnover in league)
BIGGEST LOSSES: F-Bill Cull (19.1 ppg, 4.9 rpg)free agent, Steve Carter (13.6 ppg, 4.9 rpg) free agent, F-Kyle Sherwood (10.7 ppg)free agent
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: F-Doo-Rag Dripp (18.5 ppg in playoffs) via trade, F-Tea Time Typhoo (14.0 ppg)free agent draft, G-Potus Obama rookie via trade
WEAKNESS: Unproven guard tandem of Obama and Con Gusto and questionable bench strength
STRENGTH: Very solid front line, but only if Tree Fiddy rebounds from his horrible season at center
THE SKINNY: Decimated by free agency exodus, league's youngest roster could still surprise with a playoff push.


The East

Charleston Mountaineers
PREDICTED FINISH: First (unanimous)
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: First 8-2 (3-3)
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 41
ROSTER TURNOVER: 40 percent
BIGGEST LOSSES: F-B. Quiet,(13.0 ppg) retired
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: None
WEAKNESS: Rebounding again. Depth took a big hit with retirement of Walt White and Hodor, loss of Eggyolk Carpaccio.
STRENGTH: There should be no drop-off in scoring for MBA's top offense (86.5 ppg). Defense should be second again.
THE SKINNY: Perennial favorites in the East are the unanimous pick to take top spot for third straight season. Tyler thinks they will go unbeaten, although we all know how difficult that is. Two-time All-MBA forward B. Quiet retires and the Mountaineers plug in second-year player Wawa Wewa who is steadier on defense and a great passer and shooter. Naf Naf is coming off five consecutive MVPs and scoring titles, Beezow Bop-Bop, J.J. Gargantuan and Pietro Destroyer are all among the best at their positions. Their passing is 8-8-7-6-5. They look unbeatable in the East.

Dallas Demons
PREDICTED FINISH: Second (unanimous)
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: Second, 5-5 (0-2)
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 41
ROSTER TURNOVER: 30 percent (tied for least turnover in league)
BIGGEST LOSSES: C-Naceg Gecan (12.7 ppg, 6.3 rpg) free agent draft, G-Wimsy Greenfoyle (15.4 ppg) retired
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: G-Bingo Bango (10.8 ppg in limited action)
WEAKNESS: Can they score enough? Eighth last season. Lost two good scorers, gained back one.
STRENGTH: League's oldest starting lineup is solid at all positions.
THE SKINNY: The Demons will be without their leader, center Naceg Gecan, for the first time in seven seasons. Losing him will probably mean they won't lead the league in rebounds again, but his replacement, Steve "Drunk Uncle" Bromberger, is solid, if unspectacular. Bango will replace Greenfoyle with ease and may be an All-MBA candidate. Mon-Mon and Boogart have been at forward, seemingly forever, but they are both still more than capable.

Philadelphia Phobia
PREDICTED FINISH: Third (unanimous)
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: Third 4-6
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 38
ROSTER TURNOVER: 30 percent (tied for least turnover in league)
BIGGEST LOSSES: None
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: F-Shwayze rookie draft pick.
WEAKNESS: A second top-notch scorer to go with Colquitt Croix.
STRENGTH: Guard Colquitt Croix, averaging over 20 per game his first two seasons in the league.
THE SKINNY: Getting 6-11 rookie forward Shwayze should help Phobia out of their league-worst rebounding position, but team goes from Croix's 20.5 ppg to second-best 13.2 by forward Poodle "Stix" Jackson...a big drop-off. Still, if the unselfish Croix (twice All-MBA in two seasons) ups his scoring just a tad, they could surpass Dallas.

Chicago Gale
PREDICTED FINISH: Fourth (unanimous)
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: Last, 4-6
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 38
ROSTER TURNOVER: 40 percent
BIGGEST LOSSES: None
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: F-Bill Cull (19.1 ppg, 4.9 rpg) free agent in draft, C-Yo Noid (league-leading 35 blocks) in trade.
WEAKNESS: Despite addition of Cull, still scoring for league's worst scoring team of year ago (67.0 per game).
STRENGTH: Yet to be determined. Had MBA's third-best defense, but Cull adds scoring, subtracts defense.
THE SKINNY: With two straight last-place finishes, main goal is avoiding cellar again and having to roll to possibly leave Chicago. Gale's 4-6 record not indicative of last-place team and they should beat out Milwaukee.

Milwaukee Greyhounds
PREDICTED FINISH: Last (unanimous)
SEASON 41 RECORD AND FINISH: Third, 4-6
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 40
ROSTER TURNOVER: 40 percent
BIGGEST LOSSES: G-Yu Raing (16.6 ppg) retired, F-Danke Shame (11.5 ppg) retired
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: F-Flip Testerton, excellent defender and rebounder in trade from Sacramento.
WEAKNESS: Scoring. Forward Baba Brinkman is only starter to have ever scored more than 13 per game.
STRENGTH: None.
THE SKINNY: The new worst team in the league has first two Sacramento picks next season.

INDIVIDUAL AWARD PREDICTIONS

All-MBA First Team
G - Naf Naf, Charleston
G - Colquitt Croix, Philadelphia
C - Max Payne, Oklahoma City (Tyler's pick) or Chutcher Mouthchair, Los Angeles (Dave's pick)
F - Bill Cull, Chicago
F - Doo-Rag Dripp, Sacramento (Tyler's pick) or Baba Brinkman, Milwaukee (Dave's pick)

League MVP
G - Naf Naf, Charleston

Rookie of Year
C - Chutcher Mouthchair, Los Angeles

Rookie Team
G - Potus Obama, Sacramento
G - Avenish "The Drooler" McDoogle, Los Angeles
C - Chutcher Mouthchair, Los Angeles
F - Schwayze, Philadelphia
F - Goodbar "Muddy" Masterson, Oklahoma City

MOST INDIVDUAL AWARDS ENTERING SEASON 42
20-Hall of Famer Max Payne, Oklahoma City (going into 17th season)

17-Hall of Famer Naf Naf, Charleston (going into 6th season)

7-Pippi Pippistrelli, San Jose (going into 5th season)
7-Vic Hitler, Los Angeles (going into 7th season)
7-Ginger Vampire, Oklahoma City (going into 7th season)
7-Naceg Gecan, Seattle (going into 8th season)
7-Beezow Bop-Bop, Charleston (going into 9th season)
7-Gulemon Mon-Mon, Dallas (going into 16th season)

6-J.J. Gargantuan, Charleston (going into 5th season)
6-Diss Reflexia, Philadelphia (going into 7th season)

PLAYERS 10 SEASONS OR OLDER ENTERING SEASON 42
17-Max Payne, Oklahoma City (starter)
16-Gulemon Mon-Mon, Dallas (starter)
14-Steve Carter, Los Angeles (starter)
12-Wayan Garuda, Los Angeles
11-Ginger Vampire, Oklahoma City (starter)
10-Matthew Vanden Boogart, Dallas (starter)
10-Giacoma Ferrari, San Jose
10-Vermin Supreme, Philadelphia

New this season. We will be pre-selecting one game from each bracket (based on top teams competing) to be highlighted in game report with scoresheet.

Next Up: Opening Day--Milwaukee at Oklahoma City.