Ranking the Rookies--Season 42

Despite the fact that just three of the 16 rookies entering the MBA will be immediate starters, this is not a bad crop of newcomers. The top rated rookie has definite Hall of Fame potential with the ability to lift a franchise. Just four rookies start off in the cut pile, with one who will definitely made the grade at some point.

1. Chutcher Mouthchair, 6-11 center, Los Angeles--Big boy has brilliant moves around the basket. Not only will he start, he'll be the best player on The Big One and should challenge a talented center group for All-MBA honors. Top rook.

2. Avenish "The Drooler" McDoogle, 6-5 guard, Los Angeles--Good sized guard who should get a lot of playing time for Los Angeles. Can play either guard position, is excellent passer, good rebounder and defender. Will push to start soon.

3. Shwayze, 6-11 forward, Philadelphia--Giant power forward will be a rebounding force for Philly and goes right into the Phobia starting lineup. Will solidify that position. Good shooter who rarely shoots. Decent, not great defender.

4. Potus Obama, 6-5 guard, Sacramento--Good-sized guard who will start at the two for the R-Dogs. Will fill it up from medium zone. Can play either guard position, good ball-handler, good defender. Sacramento mortgaged future to get.

5. Peeshie Pooshie, 6-1 guard, Dallas--Undersized guard can score from anywhere and plays OK defense. Not a good enough passer to play the point.

6. Goodbar "Muddy" Masterson, 6-7 forward, Oklahoma City--First forward off pines for two-time defending champs. Good shot from short and low but rarely takes it. Shot blocker but otherwise not much on D. OK rebounder.

7. Juan Kibble, 6-1 guard, Sacramento--Drafted and cut by Seattle. Will be first River Dogs guard off bench. Undersized. Good ball-handler can play either guard position. Effective shot everywhere but beyond the arc.

8. Anurag Dickshit, 6-7 forward, Los Angeles--Will be first forward off the bench for The Big One. Good hops, decent defense. Not a great shot.

9. Jonk Vanderdonk, 6-10 center in cut pile--A victim of circumstances landed him in cut pile. Drafted by Los Angeles, which also drafted top rookie Mouthchair. Can score short and low and should make the MBA soon.

10. Oy Yoy-Yoy, 6-8 forward, Seattle--May push veteran Harry Verducci for first forward off bench. Can shoot from all zones, (tremendously from beyond arc), plays decent defense (bit of a hacker) and a good rebounder.

11. Sheik Yerbouti, 6-9 forward, Charleston--Good size, good rebounder will be first forward off bench for East favorites. Can score down low but has penchant to take treys, which he doesn't hit. Decent on defense.

12. Jefferson "Budweiser" McNuggets, 7-1 center, Dallas--Biggest newcomer is nothing less than a fantastic rebounder. Will back up Steve "Drunk Uncle" Bromberger for now due to defensive limitations. Average offensively at best.

13. Benji Ballou, 6-7 center,Philadelphia--Like the 6-7 center (Diss Reflexia) he'll back up, better than his size would suggest, especially on defense. Awful rebounder is a good shot but has no moves.

14. Tom Gould, 6-1 guard, in cut pile--drafted and cut by Los Angeles. Terrible outside shot who plays some defense.

15. Atticus Finch, 6-8 forward in cut pile--drafted and cut by Seattle. Some good down-low moves, but otherwise...

16. Spicey "Chicken" Choop-Choop, 6-4 guard in cut pile--drafted and cut by Milwaukee. Good size, nothing else.