Season 53 Retirement announcements include the great Jesse Shershot

SHERSHOT HEADS RETIREES 

The Jesse Shershot era will come to an end at the conclusion of this season, as the Hall of Fame guard and the top player in team history announced his retirement plans as did 11 other MBA players. The four-time MVP and five-time scoring champion will conclude his career after this, his seventh campaign. He currently ranks among the top 11 players in most awards won.

Shershot is just one of four starters who will be retiring. The other three are all starting centers, which will keep that position as the most in-demand in the MBA.

Milwaukee, Charleston and Gillette lost no players to retirment.

San Jose suffered the most, with three lost. But then again, 9 of their 10 rostered spots could have retired.

48 players were up for retirement, with 12 actually bidding us adieu. 
 

Season 53...Featured Game No. 4...Oklahoma City at Philadelphia...plus, Hall of Fame bonus

 Oklahoma City 78, Philadelphia 70

LARIATS STAY UNBEATEN

PHILADELPHIA -- Oklahoma City has always had a tough time winning against the Phobia, coming into this game with a 46-13 disadvantage lifetime against Philly.

But the visiting Lariats (now 4-0) won an important game against the team that has dominated them through the years, triumphing 78-70.

Oklahoma City got good contributions from four of its starters plus second-year substitute center Chat Bot, while Philadelphia saw only one starter score in double digits.

Philly (now 2-2) stayed close throughout, thanks largely to bench players Dick Papers and Juji Mufu, who contributed 14 and 20 points respectively.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

32 GVP...Sixth-year shooting guard HANDSY JOE POTATOE has always had the ability to carry a team to victory, and he did just that in this win for the Lariats. The 6-5 Potatoe scored a game-high 28 points on 10 of 21 shooting from the field (2 or 3 from the foul line). He started strong, burning the smaller Flufferton Springs for 11 first-quarter points and scorched the nets for 6 3-pointers in the game in 13 attempts. He also blocked 2 shots and pulled down 2 rebounds in this, his second POG of the season.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

26 GVP...Center star-in-waiting, Chat "GPT5" Bot of Oklahoma City answered the call with authority when starting pivot Chochky Galumpkus found himself in foul trouble. Bot, who contributed heavily with 10 points off the pines in the recent win against Charleston, had the best game of his young MBA career with 17 points. The 6-9 lefty tied for team-high in rebounds with 6, blocked 2 shots and added 1 assist in the giant win.

24 GVP...Point guard supreme King Czardines of Oklahoma City delivered an 18-point game in which he pulled down 3 boards, handed out 2 assists and added 1 steal.

23 GVP...Fifth-year forward star D. Fenestration of Philadelphia had his way with Buba Lipa of Oklahoma City. Fenestration scored 18 points to 1 for Lipa, pulled down 3 rebounds and added 2 assists. 

22 GVP...The biggest difference between last year's Lariats and this season is the vastly improved defense, and rookie forward Phillip Mianus is most responsible for that turnaround. The 6-8 power forward scored 11 points, tied for team-high in rebounds with 6 and had 1 assist. But his most obvious contribution was on defense, where he dominated longtime Philly star Wawa Wewa, holding him to just 8 points. Mianus, by far the league leader with 17 blocked shots in 4 games, swatted away a game-high 4 more in this one. 

22 GVP...Oklahoma City was not the only team that got yeoman's work from its backup center. Six-year veteran Juji Mufu came off the bench to lead Philadelphia in scoring with 20 points when Taco Toosdae struggled. Mufu added 1 rebound and 1 assist.

MBA Standings … Season 53

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….4-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..4-0

PHILADELPHIA………2-2

CHARLESTON………. 1-3

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-3

 

WEST DIVISION

GILLETTE…………. 2-1

SACRAMENTO…2-1

SAN JOSE………….1-2

LOS ANGELES….. 1-2

SEATTLE…………..0-3

 

NEXT UP: Gillette puts its current first-place position on the line as they travel to San Jose. A win for the Fighting Amigos would drop the Humps to third place and move the Fighting Amigos into second. The Amigos get point guard Vinny Zazeech back from injury and are favored in this one. 

BONUS......................................

Rookie seasons of players who eventually made the Hall of Fame 

Since it takes a minimum of three seasons to acquire 10 awards, we are looking at just 17 seasons in which the rookie classes of those years did not yield at least one Hall of Fame player.

 

Aside from Season 1…where naturally the most “rookies” were made and thus, produced, there has only been two seasons in which three rookies from that season eventually made the Hall of Fame.

The first was in Season 5, when centers Alex Pal and Rip Slamjam, as well as guard Dan Mann all entered the league simultaneously.

The second and most recent was in Season 18, when the MBA gained future Famers Joey Two-Tones and Tommy Zoop, both guards, as well as center Jonny Cockaroo.

There hasn’t been a comparable rookie class since.

 

Fourteen seasons yielded a single Hall of Fame rookie.

 

Fourteen seasons yielded two Hall of Fame rookies.

 

The most recent year to yield a rookie Famer is Season 47 with the still-active Jesse Shershot.

 

Seasons 48, 49 and 50 have yet to introduce a Hall of Fame player.

 

The longest stretch of seasons between rookies who became Hall of Fame players is three, which has happened just twice. The first was Seasons 20, 21 and 22…the second was 48, 49 and 50.

 SEASON ONE

Rowdy Ron Clutch

Oscar Mudcat

Silo Chamberlain

Bub Wright

Doug Fresh

Bill Rustler

Raisin Sport

Cappy Gambol

 

SEASON THREE

Soul Duran

 

SEASON FOUR

Uncle Bob Masterson

 

 

 

 

SEASON FIVE

Alex Pal

Rip Slamjam

Dan Mann

 

SEASON SIX

Mable Reed

Stu Nod

 

SEASON SEVEN

Link Lennex

Marshall Stax

 

SEASON NINE

Tarjetas Indice

Doc Watson

 

SEASON ELEVEN

Guru Gannon

 

 

SEASON TWELVE

Dallas Diamond Paige

 

 

SEASON FIFTEEN

Momadou Zongo

Cam Bodia

 

SEASON SIXTEEN

Curly Hogbottom

 

SEASON SEVENTEEN

Bart Pitbull

Shucks Oyster

 

SEASON EIGHTEEN

Jonny Cockaroo

Joey Two-Tones

Tommy Zoop

 

SEASON NINETEEN

Benny Gumm

Shooter Flatch

 

 

SEASON TWENTY-THREE

Boone Doggle

 

SEASON TWENTY-FIVE

Saggital Occlusal

Tug Hershorts

 

SEASON TWENTY-SIX

Max Payne

Ching-Chong Chung

 

SEASON TWENTY-SEVEN

Gulemon Mon-Mon

 

 

SEASON TWENTY-EIGHT

Tom “the Bomb” Kondla

Cheetos Jones

 

SEASON TWENTY-NINE

Hrundi V. Bakshi

Ama Spikie

 

SEASON THIRTY

Lemon Jell-o

Gato Domato

 

SEASON THIRTY-FOUR

Beezow Bop-Bop

Art Vandalay

 

SEASON THIRTY-FIVE

Yipeekayee Masterfalcon

 

SEASON THIRTY-SIX

Diss Reflex

 

SEASON THIRTY-SEVEN

Naf Naf

 

 

SEASON THIRTY-EIGHT

J.J. Gargantuan (active)

Baba Brinkman

 

SEASON THIRTY-NINE

Tree Fiddy

 

SEASON FORTY

Colquitt Croix

 

 

SEASON FORTY-THREE

Chip Battoe

Dr. Marcus Brody

 

SEASON FORTY-FOUR

Great Gruncle Terry

 

SEASON FORTY-SEVEN

Jesse Shershot (active)

 

Season 53 Featured Game No. 3...Seattle at Sacramento

Sacramento 79, Seattle 78 (BUZZER BEATER)

DURAN-DURAN DURAINS GAME-WINNER

SACRAMENTO --- With three time units remaining and his team down a point, second-year Sacramento forward Kevin Duran-Duran took the ball at the top of the key, drove to the medium zone, hesitated, drove to the short zone and canned the winning bucket over Frog Morton of Seattle just before the final buzzer.

The 79-78 Sacramento win (now 2-1) saw the River Dogs in the lead throughout the contest, only to see a determined Seattle squad battle back to take a 1-point lead with just 17 time units left in the game. From that point the lead changed five times, with Duran-Duran finally ending it on Sacramento's last posession. 

Sacramento seemed in control throughout, but truth be told, Seattle (now 0-3) hung around all game, trailing at most by 9 points and getting within 3 points numerous times before finally taking the lead three different times down the stretch.

The Stampede shot an amazing 73.3 percent as a team, but got off only 45 shots thanks to a pressing R-Dogs defense that caused 11 turnovers...5 in the final quarter. 

PLAYER OF THE GAME

35 GVP...BELLYBUTTON INQUISITION, the scrappy 5-11 Seattle point guard, became the first rookie in Season 53 to cop a Player of the Game honor. Inquisition out-played his man, Jeez-O Mann, scoring a game-high 25 points and handing out a game-high 5 assists. He was 9 of 12 from the floor and 7 of 10 from the foul line while pulling down 4 rebounds and notching a steal. The exciting little man with superb leaping ability is currently averaging 18 points per game. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

25 GVP...The River Dogs were led in scoring by their own rookie guard, 6-4 shooting guard Karma Chameleon, who netted 21 points, assisted 2 times, stole 1 and rebounded 1. He caused 2 turnovers defensively.

24 GVP...The league's smallest starter at 5-9, Seattle's Fuck Mountain contributed 15 points, 4 assists, 2 blocked shots, 2 rebounds and a steal. His 4 points prevented tied for highest in the game. 

21 GVP...In addition to hitting the clutch game-winning bucket, Sacramento's Kevin Duran-Duran ended up with 16 points, tied for team-high in rebounds with 4, had 1 assist and tied for game-high in points prevented with 4. He dominated Frog Morton.

21 GVP...Steady, reliable Seattle center Sky Masterson tallied 15 points and a game-high 6 rebounds while tying for most points prevented with 4.

20 GVP...Ball-hawking Sacramento forward Crentis Dentist, a two-time steals leader in the MBA, added 2 steals to his league-leading total of 5 thus far, while causing complete havoc on defense. His 6 caused turnovers were more than double the next closest player. Additionally, the fifth-year forward scored 12 points and tied for team-high in rebounds with 4. 

20 GVP...Although bothered all game by Dentist, fourth-year Seattle forward Doodly Squat still managed to score19 points in the loss while blocking 1 shot. 

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTER

Seattle...........2...2...4...4  Total=12

Sacramento...2...3...2...0  Total=7

TOP PLAYERS POINTS PREVENTED

4...Kevin Duran-Duran, Sacramento

4...Fuck Mountain, Seattle

4...Sky Masterson, Seattle

4...Frog Morton, Seattle

TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTER

Seattle...........1...2...2...1  Total=6

Sacramento...3...1...2...5  Total=11

TOP PLAYERS CAUSING TURNOVERS

6...Crentis Dentist, Sacramento

3...Jeez-O Mann, Sacramento

2...Karma Chameleon, Sacramento 

MBA Standings … Season 53

EAST DIVISION

OKLAHOMA CITY…..2-0

DALLAS………………2-0

PHILADELPHIA………2-1

CHARLESTON………. 1-1

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-2

 

WEST DIVISION

GILLETTE……… 2-1

SACRAMENTO…2-1

LOS ANGELES….. 1-1

SAN JOSE………….0-2

SEATTLE…………..0-3

 

NEXT UP:  Los Angeles at San Jose…after two road games, the Fighting Amigos finally get a home date, and it’s against the conceived worst team in the MBA. San Jose superstar Hall of Famer Jesse Shershot has been mired in a shooting slump, going 0 for 16 from beyond the arc entering this game. He’s overdue for a break-out game.

 

  

 

Season 53 Featured Game No. 2....Philadelphia at Dallas

 DALLAS 88, PHILADELPHIA 71

DEMONS DUMP PHILLY FAST

LOSE SATAN ISRAEL FOR REST OF SEASON TO INJURY

DALLAS -- It was a bittersweet win for The Whiz Kids from Dallas (now 2-0) as they easily disposed of the visiting foes from Philadelphia 88-71, but lost the services of excellent power forward Satan Israel for the remainder of the season.

The injury occurred with 32 ticks left in the first quarter and comes on the heels of Israel's injury last season that kept him from participating in the team's championship playoff run.

A positive note for Dallas is that they won the entire thing without Israel last season and can likely do so again. 

He was a unanimous preseason pick to make his second All-MBA team in Season 53.

(Note to Tyler...you need to pick up a forward to the cut pile.)

PLAYER OF THE GAME

29 GVP ... Outstanding Dallas two guard JUZAN DJINN has started Season 53 like he expects to be league MVP, to say nothing of All-MBA (which he was not predicted to do by either MBA owner). The fourth-year star followed his opening game 22-point effort with a game-high 24 points against Philadelphia, dwarfing his opposite Flufferton Springs in the process. The 6-2 Djinn was 11 for 13 from the floor (showing what he could accomplish percentage-wise by ignoring the 3-point shot) and 2 for 2 from the foul line. He added 4 rebounds and a blocked shot to his GVP total.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

28 GVP...Second-year Dallas point guard and last season's Rookie of the Year Kopi Luwak drilled his first five 3-point attempts (eventually settling for 6 deep buckets) on the way to his second 20-point game in as many outings. Luwak distributed the rock at a high rate as well, tying for game-high in assists with 6 while also adding 2 rebounds.

28 GVP...Super-sub Al A. Orden, one of the league's oldest players in his 13th season, answered the call brilliantly once more with the injury to Israel. The veteran forward dominated his man, Wawa Wewa, causing him to foul out while Orden scored 15 points and hauled down a game-high 7 rebounds. He also led everyone in steals with 2 and came within one assist, with 4, of a triple-double. The 6-8 Orden, who has played his entire career with Dallas, tied for causing the most turnovers in the game as well.

22 GVP...Philly point guard Ehhy Table bounced back from a disappointing performance in the team's opener, scoring a team-high 17 poiints, adding 2 rebounds, 2 assists and 1 steal. 

20 GVP...Dallas' second-year forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano was a force near the hoop, slamming home three buckets on the way to an 11-point game that also saw him tie for causing the most defensive turnovers. He grabbed 5 rebounds, tied for game-high with 2 blocked shots, assisted 1 time and stole 1. 

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Philadelphia...4...6...2...2   Total=14

Dallas.............2...4...2...0   Total=8

TOP PLAYERS POINTS PREVENTED

6...Biggus Dickus, Dallas

6...Taco Toosdae, Philadelphia

6...D. Fenestration, Dallas

TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTERS

Philadelphia...0...0...3...2  Total=5

Dallas.............2...4...0...1  Total=7

TOP PLAYERS IN TURNOVERS CAUSED

3...Pete Marzano, Dallas

3...Al A. Orden, Dallas

2...Eh Table, Philadelphia

MBA Standings … Season 53

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….2-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-0

PHILADELPHIA………1-1

CHARLESTON………. 0-1

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-1

 

WEST DIVISION

GILLETTE…………. 2-0

SACRAMENTO…1-1

LOS ANGELES….. 1-1

SAN JOSE………….0-1

 SEATTLE…………..0-2

NEXT UP:  Cross-over with two of Dave’s teams as San Jose visits Oklahoma City. The Fighting Amigos don’t want to start another season 0-2 and the Lariats need a victory to keep pace with Dallas and ahead of Philadelphia. Should be an interesting contest.

Season 53 Featured Game No. 1...San Jose at Sacramento

 SACRAMENTO 82, SAN JOSE 71

R-DOGS JUMP AMIGOS EARLY IN BIG WIN

SACRAMENTO -- So much for San Jose going unbeaten in the regular season as the home team River Dogs of Sacramento hung a 31-point first quarter on the visitors and coasted to an opening day 82-71 win.

The only downside for the victors was the first quarter loss of guard Flip Phelps who was 2 for 2 from deep in the first quarter and then felled for three games to injury (Hurricane Furrwizard was picked up in his place).

PLAYER OF THE GAME

24 GVP...Couldn't blame this loss on the new acquisition to the San Jose lineup, 6-8 guard VINNY ZAZEECH. Playing the point, the third-year man led all scorers with 22 points, hitting his first five 3-pointers before finally missing one. He was 7 for 11 from the floor (slamming one home), 3 for 6 from the foul one and pulled down 2 rebounds in an excellent Amigos debut.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

21 GVP...Sacramento's rookie shooting guard Karma Chameleon held up very well in his first MBA contest, tying for team-high in scoring with 15 points, tying for team-high in rebounds with 5 and adding 1 assist.

21 GVP...Fifth-year forward Crentis Dentist of Sacramento tied for team high in scoring with 15 points, grabbed 2 boards, assisted 1 time and blocked 1 shot. He also got out of the blocks very well toward defending his steals title from last season, swiping a game-high 2 steals.

21 GVP...San Jose mainstay Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer scored 15 points, pulled down 4 rebounds, assisted 1 and stole 1 in the loss.

20 GVP...Sturdy San Jose power forward Charles Broccoli hauled down a game-high 6 caroms, scored 13 points and registered 1 assist in the loss.

NEXT UP: Plenty of tickets remain for the Los Angeles Big One's home opener. They take on the Gillette Humps to start the Season 53 campaign.

Season 53 predictions...schedule...improvements...trades

EAST DIVISION 

1. Dallas Demons (1st...8-2, 5-2)...Defending champs are one year older and one year better by improvements. Still the league's youngest starting lineup, the Whiz Kids added two solid rookies (guard Dominus Vobiscum and forward Philibuck Davia) for bench strength and center Izzy Mandelbaum. Overwhelming favorite also further secured the future by obtaining a prime pick from Charleston next season for center Johnny Bananas. Stars at every position with deep bench. Another title is expected.

2. Philadelphia Phobia (3rd...5-5) ...Missed the playoffs in the rugged East last season and will be in a scramble with Oklahoma City for the second spot this season. Just two roster changes, the most important being shooting guard Flufferton Springs who allows Ehhy Table to move to the point where he is more effective. Front court kind of aging, with both forwards and center suffering regressions.

3. Oklahoma City Lariats (4th...5-5)...Probably Dave's best overall team, but being in the East makes playoffs a real challenge. Should improve on last season's worst team defense with additon of rookie forward Phillip Mianus. Tied for top offense last season, and that's with an off year by Handsy Joe Potatoe.

4. Charleston Mountaineers (Last...5-5) Finishing last with a .500 record is brutal. Lost top scorer Vinny Zazeech so probably won't top league (tied) in scoring again. Two newcomers, guard Freddy Gooch and rookie forward Piping Plover, in starting lineup.

5. Milwaukee Greyhounds (2nd...5-5, 4-3) Picked last in Season 52 also, but ended up one victory away from a championship. Don't count them out. Added Hall of Famer J.J. Gargantuan and sharpshooting guard Itstha Bishop.

WEST DIVISION 

1. San Jose Fighting Amigos (2nd...5-5, 0-2)...Finally got some guard help in Vinny Zazeech (17.1 ppg) to help perennial All-MBA Hall of Fame guard and defending MVP Jesse Shershot, Team looking for fifth consecutive playoff berth. Window closing on Shershot era and shot at another title. Oldest overall roster in the league. Need best overall record in order to get home court advantage throughout the playoffs and keep Shershot away from Juzan Djinn in majority of Finals match-ups. A West powerhouse.

2. Sacramento River Dogs (1st...6-4, 0-2)...Lost both starting guards (including top scorer Stankpig Pigglesworth at 15.5 ppg), but should actually be improved in backcourt with acquisitions of Flip Phelps and rookie Karma Chameleon. Seven of 10 players on roster are new to the team, including rookie 7-foot center China P. Strength is forwards with Kevin Duran-Duran and Crentis Dentist.

3. Seattle Stampede (3rd...5-5) Half the roster is new, including two new starters, rookie guard Bellybutton Inquisition and veteran forward Frog Morton. Deep bench makes them a playoff threat. They start the smallest guard combo we've seen in a long time, 5-9 Fuck Mountain and 5-11 Inquisition.

4. Gillette Humps (4th...4-6) Added big piece to build on in rookie center Blob Dylan. A lot will depend on how second year guard Joey Joe Joe Shamadu Jr. performs at the point guard spot. On verge of playoffs.

5. Los Angeles Big One (Last...2-8) Two seasons removed from back-to-back titles, their roster now resembles an expansion franchise.

ALL MBA PREDICTIONS

FROM TYLER

Guard...Jesse Shershot, San Jose

Guard...Itstha Bishop, Milwaukee

Center...Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

Forward...Satan Israel, Dallas

Forward...D. Fenestration, Philadelphia

FROM DAVE

Guard...Jesse Shershop, San Jose

Guard...King Czardines, Oklahoma City

Center...Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

Forward...Satan Israel, Dallas

Forward...Sheetrock Hudson, Charleston

MVP PREDICTIONS

Tyler....Jesse Shershot, San Jose

Dave...Jesse Shershot, San Jose

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR PREDICTIONS

Tyler...Itstha Bishop, Milwaukee

Dave...Phillip Mianus, Oklahoma City

HALL OF FAME WATCH (10 awards needed for enshrinement)

17 awards...Jesse Shershot, San Jose (active Hall of Famer)

13 awards...J.J. Gargantuan, Milwaukee (active Hall of Famer)

9 awards...Crentis Dentist, Sacramento

7 awards...Chochky Galumpus, Oklahoma City

6 awards...Frog Morton, Seattle

5 awards...Juzan Djinn, Dallas

5 awards...Flufferton Springs, Philadelphia

5 awards...Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer, San Jose

5 awards...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia

5 awards...Sheetrock Hudson, Charleston

CONSECUTIVE GAMES

120...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia .... will break the record of 120 he currently holds with Hall of Fame forward Raisin Sport when he plays first game of Season 53.

90...Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee

MOST SEASONS PLAYED AMONG ACTIVE PLAYERS

16...J.J. Gargantuan, Hall of Famer now on Milwaukee

16...Peter Pizza, now in cut pile

15...Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee

13...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia

13...Al A. Orden, Dallas (all with Dallas)

13...Bougainvillea Hedge, Seattle

NEXT UP: Season 53 opener with defending champion Dallas at Seattle in a cross-over. 

 

Hall of Fame Players Who Never Won an MBA Title

 -- Center ... Diamond Dallas Paige

-- Center...Bill Rustler

-- Center...Tom "the Bomb" Kondla

--Forward...Gato DoMato

-- Guard...Soul Duran

-- Guard...Silo Chamberlin

There are 57 members of the Hall of Fame and only these 6 stars never achieved championship status. That's just 10.5 percent of the members of the Hall.