EAST DIVISION
1. Dallas Demons (1st...8-2, 5-2)...Defending champs are one year older and one year better by improvements. Still the league's youngest starting lineup, the Whiz Kids added two solid rookies (guard Dominus Vobiscum and forward Philibuck Davia) for bench strength and center Izzy Mandelbaum. Overwhelming favorite also further secured the future by obtaining a prime pick from Charleston next season for center Johnny Bananas. Stars at every position with deep bench. Another title is expected.
2. Philadelphia Phobia (3rd...5-5) ...Missed the playoffs in the rugged East last season and will be in a scramble with Oklahoma City for the second spot this season. Just two roster changes, the most important being shooting guard Flufferton Springs who allows Ehhy Table to move to the point where he is more effective. Front court kind of aging, with both forwards and center suffering regressions.
3. Oklahoma City Lariats (4th...5-5)...Probably Dave's best overall team, but being in the East makes playoffs a real challenge. Should improve on last season's worst team defense with additon of rookie forward Phillip Mianus. Tied for top offense last season, and that's with an off year by Handsy Joe Potatoe.
4. Charleston Mountaineers (Last...5-5) Finishing last with a .500 record is brutal. Lost top scorer Vinny Zazeech so probably won't top league (tied) in scoring again. Two newcomers, guard Freddy Gooch and rookie forward Piping Plover, in starting lineup.
5. Milwaukee Greyhounds (2nd...5-5, 4-3) Picked last in Season 52 also, but ended up one victory away from a championship. Don't count them out. Added Hall of Famer J.J. Gargantuan and sharpshooting guard Itstha Bishop.
WEST DIVISION
1. San Jose Fighting Amigos (2nd...5-5, 0-2)...Finally got some guard help in Vinny Zazeech (17.1 ppg) to help perennial All-MBA Hall of Fame guard and defending MVP Jesse Shershot, Team looking for fifth consecutive playoff berth. Window closing on Shershot era and shot at another title. Oldest overall roster in the league. Need best overall record in order to get home court advantage throughout the playoffs and keep Shershot away from Juzan Djinn in majority of Finals match-ups. A West powerhouse.
2. Sacramento River Dogs (1st...6-4, 0-2)...Lost both starting guards (including top scorer Stankpig Pigglesworth at 15.5 ppg), but should actually be improved in backcourt with acquisitions of Flip Phelps and rookie Karma Chameleon. Seven of 10 players on roster are new to the team, including rookie 7-foot center China P. Strength is forwards with Kevin Duran-Duran and Crentis Dentist.
3. Seattle Stampede (3rd...5-5) Half the roster is new, including two new starters, rookie guard Bellybutton Inquisition and veteran forward Frog Morton. Deep bench makes them a playoff threat. They start the smallest guard combo we've seen in a long time, 5-9 Fuck Mountain and 5-11 Inquisition.
4. Gillette Humps (4th...4-6) Added big piece to build on in rookie center Blob Dylan. A lot will depend on how second year guard Joey Joe Joe Shamadu Jr. performs at the point guard spot. On verge of playoffs.
5. Los Angeles Big One (Last...2-8) Two seasons removed from back-to-back titles, their roster now resembles an expansion franchise.
ALL MBA PREDICTIONS
FROM TYLER
Guard...Jesse Shershot, San Jose
Guard...Itstha Bishop, Milwaukee
Center...Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City
Forward...Satan Israel, Dallas
Forward...D. Fenestration, Philadelphia
FROM DAVE
Guard...Jesse Shershop, San Jose
Guard...King Czardines, Oklahoma City
Center...Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City
Forward...Satan Israel, Dallas
Forward...Sheetrock Hudson, Charleston
MVP PREDICTIONS
Tyler....Jesse Shershot, San Jose
Dave...Jesse Shershot, San Jose
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR PREDICTIONS
Tyler...Itstha Bishop, Milwaukee
Dave...Phillip Mianus, Oklahoma City
HALL OF FAME WATCH (10 awards needed for enshrinement)
17 awards...Jesse Shershot, San Jose (active Hall of Famer)
13 awards...J.J. Gargantuan, Milwaukee (active Hall of Famer)
9 awards...Crentis Dentist, Sacramento
7 awards...Chochky Galumpus, Oklahoma City
6 awards...Frog Morton, Seattle
5 awards...Juzan Djinn, Dallas
5 awards...Flufferton Springs, Philadelphia
5 awards...Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer, San Jose
5 awards...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia
5 awards...Sheetrock Hudson, Charleston
CONSECUTIVE GAMES
120...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia .... will break the record of 120 he currently holds with Hall of Fame forward Raisin Sport when he plays first game of Season 53.
90...Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee
MOST SEASONS PLAYED AMONG ACTIVE PLAYERS
16...J.J. Gargantuan, Hall of Famer now on Milwaukee
16...Peter Pizza, now in cut pile
15...Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee
13...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia
13...Al A. Orden, Dallas (all with Dallas)
13...Bougainvillea Hedge, Seattle
NEXT UP: Season 53 opener with defending champion Dallas at Seattle in a cross-over.
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