MBA Season 31 at Halfway Mark

CHARLESTON, SAN JOSE LEAD DIVISIONS AT THE HALF
The Charleston Mountaineers and San Jose Fighting Amigos lead their respective divisions at the halfway mark in Season 31, with perennial power and two-time defending champ Philadelphia showing no signs of slowing down.
The big surprise is favorite Milwaukee, pulling into the all-star break in last place and preseason favorite in the West, Seattle, registering a 1-4 record thus far.




EAST LOADED AS ALL STAR GAME AWAITS
It's no surprise that the East is favored to win the 31st All Star clash. Any team that has the MVP of the last two seasons, Hrundi V. Bakshi, coming off the bench, has got to be considered a powerhouse.
But, keep in mind that although the East leads the west 20-10 overall in the star contest, the West has won the last four contests.
Also, consider the stars that did not make the team:
* Guard Lemon Jell-O of Charleston, who would be a starter on the West squad.
* Guard Jerry Curl of Philadelphia, who would also start on the West.
* Hall of Fame forward Sagittal Occlusal, who is the only member of the Fighting Amigos starting lineup to NOT make the team.
Other Notes:
--The only rookie in the game will be forward Bruno Patanal of Milwaukee.
--Mamadou Zongo of Charleston ties Uncle Bob Masterson for most all star game appearances with 10.
--Zongo's eigth all-star start moves him into second all time behind the nine of Curly Hogbottom.
--Boone Doggle of Philadelphia's seventh all-star game ties him for the sixth most appearances.
--Doggle's seventh start moves him into a tie for third in starts with Uncle Bob Masterson.
--Zongo is currently fifth-highest in points scored in all star competition, tied for first in steals, second in three-point baskets, fourth in assists and third in blocked shots.
--In just two all-star games, guard Cheetos Jones of Philadelphia is the all time all-star game leader with 16 three-point baskets.
--Doggle currently third all-time in all-star rebounding.




LAST TIME AROUND FOR ZONGO, DOGGLE
The MBA will be losing two of its greatest stars of all time at the conclusion of this campaign.
Hall of Famers Mamadou Zongo and Boone Doggle have both announced that they will retire following Season 31.
Zongo, who has played at the highest of levels for 17 seasons, will retire as either the second- or third best guard of all time behind Uncle Bob Masterson and (currently) Cappy Gambol. Zongo, who has played for six of the 10 league fanchises, will finish his stellar career among the top four players ever to play in the league.
Doggle, the tallest man at 6-10 to play the small forward position, will finish a seven-year run as either the third- or fourth-best forward ever behind Curly Hogbottom, the active Sagittal Occlusal and right there with the great Link Lennex of Houston. Doggle has played for four franchises in nine seasons.
Also hanging it up, longtime Charleston great Benny Gumm, now toiling for Seattle, Charleston starting forward Soh Cah Toa and longtime starter Jebediah Wachnut of Sacramento. Gumm will retire with a shot to make the Hall of Fame via the Veteran's Committee.

MBA Season 31 Preview, Predictions and current standings

Season 31 rookies have been created (with Seema Masterson again making rookies), veteran dispersals completed, the draft held, improvements and deprovements and final roster cuts made, and the new campaign is already underway. Here, then are the team by team breakdowns following the predictions of both league owners. Keep in mind, the Phobia was not even picked to make the playoffs last season and won it all.

THE WEST

1st or 2nd (Dave 1st, Tyler 2nd) Seattle Stampede:
Previous Year: Fourth place 2-8
Retirements: none
Dispersal losses: Starting point guard Bull Bunson, reserve guard Fat Bob Herzfeld
Draft wins: Exceptional two guard Cock A. Doodledoo from San Jose
Picking up the shut down defender Doodledoo is enough to shoot the Stampede to the head of the class in the very weak West. In addition to his defensive prowress, Doodledoo was third in the league in scoring with a 19.3 ppg average last season. The team’s leading scorer from last season, Smokey Talisker, also looks vastly improved . The last time Seattle finished first was in Season 10.

1st or 2nd (Tyler 1st, Dave 2nd) San Jose Fighting Amigos:
Previous year: Second place 8-2, lost in finals to Philadelphia 3 games to 1
Retirements: Reserve guard Dutch Pettis (no big loss)
Dispersal losses: Cock A. Doodledoo (huge loss) team’s top scorer past two seasons.
Draft wins: Nobody of exception to speak of.
The Fighting Amigos have been a force in the West for the past six seasons and should continue to be in Season 31, despite the costly loss of Doodledoo, mainly because the West is very weak. Word is that superstar forward Sagittal Occlusal has lost a step, but second-year forward L.B. Damned is on the upswing. The Amigos, always the best defensive team, will not be as dominant in that department.

3rd (consensus) Oklahoma City Lariats:
Previous year: Last place 1-9
Retirements: Reserve guard Boss Driver
Dispersal losses: Team MVP of previous year, guard Jerry Curl
Draft wins: Rookie center Dr. Gottum Gupta, guard Bull Bunson from Seattle
Despite losing their best player from a year ago, Jerry Curl, the Lariats should produce a better record than the putrid one they posted last season, and should challenge for a playoff spot. Bunson, who tied the record for assists, and Gupta, a favorite for rookie of the year, should add offense and defense.

4th (consensus) Sacramento River Dogs:
Previous year: 3rd Place 4-6
Retirements: None
Dispersal Losses: Top scorer guard Wes Montgomery, reserve guard Schweaty Ballz
Draft wins: Defensive specialist forward Bisquiro Cutoff from Dallas and guard Zingo Mamaluke from Philadelphia
Losing Montgomery hurt, but adding Cutoff to go with forward Kuch-Kuch Hotahey will make it difficult for opposing forwards to get off a shot. The big question is: who will put points on the board for Dogs?

5th (consensus) Dallas Demons:
Previous year: 1st Place 9-1, lost in first round of playoffs to Philadelphia 2 games to 1
Retirements: Starting guard Tipsy O’Sullivan, guard Hacksaw Rooney
Dispersal losses: Hall of Fame guard and leading scorer Mamadou Zongo and 4-time all-star forward Bisquiro Cutoff
Draft wins: All-MBA center Tom Kondla
Decimated by retirements and dispersal losses, and getting Kondla forces league’s other great center Max Payne to the bench. In Season 30, Dallas did not change one single player on its roster from the previous campaign. In Season 31, all five of their starters have changed.


THE EAST

1ST (consensus): Milwaukee Greyhounds
Previous year: 1st Place 8-2, lost in first round of playoffs to San Jose 2 games to 1
Retirements: None
Dispersal losses: None
Draft wins: Rookie forward Bruno Patanal
The Greyhounds have slowly put together a killer team, adding a pair of top-flight rookie forwards in the past two drafts and transforming themselves from a weak rebounding to a strong rebounding club. The 6-7 Bruno Patanel joins last season’s outstanding addition Gato Do Mato to start at forward. Two seasons ago they added two-time league MVP and scoring champ Hrundi V. Bakshi. The best news, however, may be that Bakshi’s playoff nemesis, Cock A. Doodledoo of San Jose, who has blocked the team’s playoff advancement the past two seasons, is no longer on that squad.

2nd (consensus) Philadelphia Phobia
Previous year: MBA Champions—7-3, second place, then 5-2 in post-season, beating Dallas, then San Jose in title series.
Retirements: Top reserve forward Rickety Rack
Dispersal losses: Two guard Zingo Mamaluke and backup center Bascomb Ducksnort
Draft wins: Excellent second-year two guard Jerry Curl and veteran two-guard sharpshooter Pismo Beach.
The Phobia, like Milwaukee, seems able to fill in the holes in its starting lineup at will. They lost starter Mamaluke but replaced him with Curl, who is bigger, younger and better in every way. Hall of Fame forward Boone Doggle appears to have lost a step, but playing in the league’s tallest front line with Ama Spikie at center and Tug Hershorts at the other forward, Doggle’s advancing years may not be noticed. And of course, there’s two-time All-MBA point guard Cheetos Jones. The Phobia are again strong contenders to get a third straight title, a feat only they have achieved in MBA history. We somehow picked them third in their division last year and they won it all.

3rdor 4th (Tyler 4th, Dave 3rd) Charleston Mountaineers
Previous year: Fourth place, 4-6
Retirements: Starting center Trey Bon
Dispersal losses: No one to speak of
Draft wins: Hall of Fame point guard Mamadou Zongo and superb rookie shooting guard Chucky “Swishcat” Sellegren.
Zongo enters his 17th season in the league and will be bringing his formidable skills to his sixth MBA stop. The best 3-point shooter in history is slightly deproved, but rookie Sellegren will fill in for the veteran if needed. The Mountaineers also return heady, do-everything guard Lemon Jell-O, last season’s Rookie of the Year and one of the best shut-down defending forwards in Jimsy Redfern. Second-year center Muito Bom and veteran Soh Cah Toa are 6-11 and 6-10, respectively, and both can hit the boards.If they were in the West, Charleston would be the best team in the division. But they will be in a dogfight to beat out Milwaukee and Philadelphia for a playoff spot.


3rd or 4th (Tyler 3rd, Dave 4th) Houston Iguanas
Previous year: Last place, 2-8
Retirements: None
Dispersal Losses: Starting two guard Pismo Beach
Draft wins: Two-time MBA scoring champion guard Wes Montgomery from Sacramento, center Bascomb Ducksnort from Philadelphia, and rookie guard Julio Ganatra.
The Iguanas have a potent scoring pair at guard with Ching-Chong Chung and newly acquired Montgomery, although neither is much in the rebounding department. Philadelphia backup Ducksnort will get a chance to prove he is worthy of a starting position. The Iguanas still have four good forwards, two of whom will have to step up to seize starting roles for good. Rogersaurus Adamson, Stone Flinthorn, Looky Whos and Deafman Glance are all potentially good forwards who could start on more than a few teams, but none of them played solid ball last season. Backup rookie guard Ganatra enters the league as the tallest player ever at his position, 6-foot, 8-inches. The Iguanas could be in the hunt.

5th (consensus) Chicago Gale
Previous Year: 3rd place, 5-5
Retirements: Starting forward and three-time all-star Bunson Burner
Dispersal Losses: All-MBA center Tom Kondla and backup center Montezuma Rico
Draft wins: Rookies Nobby Nabob, a forward and guard Poppy Poppalucco, who both show some promise and center Gene Wrangler from the cut pile.
The one guy the Gale could not afford to lose, all-everything center Tom Kondla, they lost. As a result, the 13 consecutive seasons without a playoff appearance will undoubtedly stretch to 14, especially since Chicago is in the powerful East Division. They have about eight decent players, interchangeable in their roles, but no real star to bank on. Gale fans, therefore, must hunker down to watch yet another scrappy team fall short on their eternal wait until next year.

At this writing, the Season 31 league standings are as follows:

East
1st Houston 2-1
2nd Charleston 2-1
3rd Philadelphia 2-1
4th Milwaukee 1-2
5th Chicago 1-2

West
1st Sacramento 3-0
2nd San Jose 2-1
3rd Oklahoma City 2-1
4th Dallas 0-3
5th Seatttle 0-3

CHARLESTON CHANGING NAME, LOGO

Beginning Season 31, the Charleston Rebels will be changing their name to The Charleston Mountaineers. A new logo on a new team envelope will accompany the change.
This is being done for the following reasons.
1. The team, as originally formed, makes its home in Charleston, West Virginia.
2. The team was mistakenly nicknamed The Rebels under the assumption that West Virginia supported the Confederate States of America during the War Between The States.
3. The fact of the matter is that once the war broke out, the western portion of Virginia, because they did NOT support the Confederacy, formed its own state, which is, of course, West Virginia.
4. The logo for the Charleston team was selected as a Confederate flag, and has, in fact, been wrong for 30 seasons.
5. Now seems to be a great time to correct the mistake, since the back of the envelope where year-by-year records are recorded, is full.
6. With the old nickname and logo, Charleston, West Virginia could easily be mistaken as being Charleston, South Carolina, the latter being definitely a Confederate States state.
7. The Rebel flag is in this day and age, politically incorrect and continues to gain in political incorrectness as the years go on. As owner of the Charleston franchise, I am increasingly uncomfortable with one of my teams being associated with the Rebel flag.
8. The new name, The Mountaineers, is taken from the saying on the West Virginia state flag "A Mountaineer is always free."
9. All old records will carry over from the old name to the new for this franchise.

Here is the old and new team logos.

30-YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL

PHOBIA CAPTURES 12TH TITLE
PHILADELPHIA--The defending champion Philadelphia Phobia, sparked by its two least heralded players, ran off to a 12-2 start and spent the rest of the game successfully holding off the San Jose Fighting Amigos on the way to a 12th championship. For the second game in a row, second-year center Ama Spikie (23 points, 5 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 blocks) won game MVP honors to lead the way. He was accompanied by teammate Zingo Mamaluke, who registered 18 points in the win.
Cock A. Doodledoo returned from injury to pace San Jose with 23 points, but the Fighting Amigos could not compete on the boards with the big Phobia front line, nor match the shooting efficiency (63 percent) of the champions.
Hall of Famer Boone Doggle of Philadelphia was named Playoff MVP, the first time he has captured the post season honor and the second MVP of his career.

ROWDY RON CLUTCH GAINS HALL OF FAME ENTRY
It has been announced from on high that former Philadelphia Phobia forward Rowdy Ron Clutch, via the veterans committee, has gained entry into the MBA Hall of Fame.
Clutch, an MBA original who retired after Season 9, was named three times to the All-MBA first team and elected to four all star games. He was a member of the first Phobia championship team way back in Season 5. Clutch's election means that the entire starting lineup of the early Philadelphia quintet have now earned the MBA's highest honor. He joins teammates Uncle Bob Masterson, Oscar Mudcat, Raisin Sport and Alex Pal in the hallowed hall, representing perhaps the greatest team in league history.
Rowdy Ron, at 6-7, was a versatile performer who began his career in Milwaukee and ended with a three-year stint heading the expansion Dallas team. At one time or another he led his team in every single category (points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks, free throws and shooting percentage).

COMING SOON
Watch your mailbox for news of the compilation of the 30th Anniversary ALL MBA Teams for each of the 10 franchises.

PHOBIA BRINGS THE HAMMER DOWN
SAN JOSE--Led by the 25 points of second-year center Ama Spikie and the triple-double performance of Hall of Famer Boone Doggle, the Philadelphia Phobia destroyed the short-handed San Jose Fighting Amigos 90-58 in the important third game of the MBA finals.
The victory gives the defending champions a 2-1 lead in the series and moves them to within one triumph of clinching their 12th title.
Operating without their top scorer, guard Cock A. Doodledoo, the home team Amigos managed to stay close for a half in a high-scoring game before Philadelphia blew their doors off with a 25-point third quarter.
While Spikie and 6-11 forward Tug Hershorts (18 points) were dominant inside, Doggle was busy dishing off a game-high 6 assists, pulling down five rebounds and tying a playoff record with 6 steals in one game.
Rookie forward L.B. Damned sparkled in the scoring column for the losers with 20, but the effort was not enough to keep pace with the frantic scoring attack of the Phobia.
Doodledoo returns for Game 4, which the Amigos will have to win on Philadelphia's home court in order to stay alive.

PHOBIA TIES SERIES; AMIGOS LOSE TOP SCORER
PHILADELPHIA--Injuries and fouls hampered the San Jose Fighting Amigos down the stretch and the defending champion Philadelphia Phobia prevailed in Game 2 action to even the series with a 64-59 win. The victory sets the Phobia up nicely for Game 3, since San Jose leading scorer Cock A. Doodledoo will be out with an injury that is expected to last just that one more game.
Doodledoo, who led all scorers with 14 points at the time, went down with a badly swollen left ankle early in the third quarter and his team trailing 33-31. Despite the loss of their brilliant two guard, San Jose hung tough thanks to the clutch shooting of replacement Yip Silcati (10 points) until team leader the second-leading scorer Saggital Occlusal (team-best 15 points) fouled out halfway into the fourth with Philly ahead 54-53. From there, the Phobia ground down their diminished opponents for the five-point triumph.
The Phobia was again led by Hall of Famer Boone Doggle, whose versatility shined throughout. The 6-10 small forward scored 15, pulled down 5 rebounds, dished out four assists, blocked two shots and registered one steal. Meanwhile, his teammates provided balanced scoring, with three other Philadelphia players scoring in double digits. Doggle was designated Game MVP, the third time he has been so-named in five playoff contests.
Following the game, San Jose signed rookie cut pile guard Cookieland Jenkins to a one-game contract.