Season 50 Playoffs...semifinals Game 2...Los Angeles at Milwaukee

Los Angeles 85, Milwaukee 75

L.A. THREE-MENDOUS IN CLINCHER

MILWAUKEE -- Bombing in a trio of treys in the final 9 time units, the Los Angeles Big One broke open a tight contest to win this Semifinal Series, 85-75, capturing their 10th consecutive win in the process.

They now await the winner of the San Jose vs. Philadelphia Semifinals to determine their Finals oppenent. It will be L.A.'s second Finals appearance as The Big One, the last coming in Season 45 when they won it all behind the Playoff MVP performance of Dr. Marcus Brody.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Second-year All-MBA forward CRENTIS "THE" DENTIST was spectacularly unstoppable down the home stretch in this victory, scoring 13 of his game-high 25 points in the fourth quarter. The 6-6 small forward was 11 for 14 from the floor and a perfect 3 for 3 from beyond the arc. His last 3-pointer buried the hopes of Milwaukee, putting The Big One up 7 points with just 5 ticks left. Runner-up to his teammate Quick Tink for regular season MVP, Dentist also tied for most blocked shots in the game with 2, grabbed 2 rebounds and had 1 assist. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Veteran Los Angeles point guard Great Gruncle Terry went on the offensive in this game, scoring 16 points while leading his team in assists (3) and rebounds (5). the seven-year man also blocked 1 shot.

-- MBA Rookie of the Year Flufferton Springs followed his 31-point performance of Game 1 with a 22-point effort that included 5 of  L.A.'s 10 3-pointers, including two in the final nine time units. The All-MBA shooting guard added 2 assists and 1 rebound.

-- The MBA regular season MVP  Quick Tink of The Big One dominated the center position, scoring 20 points (4 on slams), grabbing 3 boards, dishing 2 assists and blocking 1 shot. 

-- Longtime Milwaukee point guard Fatty McButterpants played well in defeat, scoring 13 points, grabbing 5 boards and assisting on a game-high 4.

-- The oldest man on Milwaukee, 12-year forward Ape Con Myth, delivered a clutch performance that included a team-high 21 points, a game-high 6 rebounds and 1 assist. The 6-10 Myth dominated his man, Turk Attaturk.

-- Milwaukee's other forward, Entha Shortzone, also played a fine game, scoring 19 points, grabbing 5 rebounds, blocking 1 shot and handing out 1 assist.

NEXT UP: The Game 3 decider with defending champion San Jose at Philadelphia to determine who butts heads with Los Angeles in the Finals. 

 

Season 50 Playoffs...Semifinals game 2...Philadelphia at San Jose

 Philadelphia 71, San Jose 63

LATE RALLY WINS IT FOR PHOBIA

SAN JOSE -- Trailing the entire game, and by 8 going into the final quarter, the visiting Phobia from Philadelphia dominated the final 70 time units to win going away, 71-63, sending this semifinal series to a deciding third game in the City of Brotherly Love.

This was the first Philadelphia playoff win in five seasons.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Fourth-year Philadelphia point guard LITTLE DICKIE PAPERS kept his team within striking distance all game long, allowing his team to take over the fourth quarter. Papers was 10 for 19 from the floor to tie for high-scorer in the game (one of those a decisive slam). The 6-footer also hit the boards hard, leading his team in rebounds with 7. He dominated Cremeofsum Younguy in this game.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Having his second consecutive rough playoff game, Philly shooting guard Ehhy Table helped lead the fourth-quarter charge that toppled the Amigos. Besides playing tough defense down the stretch on Jesse Shershot, the rookie put together the second triple-double of his career, ending up with a game-high 6 assists, 10 points and 5 rebounds. He also had a steal.

-- Second-year Philly forward D Fenestration dominated Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer for the second game in a row this post-season, scoring 18 points on a perfect 8 for 8 shooting day while grabbing 5 boards, handing out 1 assist and blocking 1 shot. Creamer fouled out for the second time in a row. Fenestration is now 16 for 17 in his first two playoff games.

-- San Jose Hall of Famer Jesse Shershot tied for top scoring honors with 20 points while pulling down 4 rebounds in a losing cause. 

-- San Jose forward Muscle Shoals flexed for a game-high 9 rebounds while scoring 15 points in the loss. He dominated Wawa Wewa.

NEXT UP: Los Angeles looks for its 10th win in a row as it travels to Milwaukee in an attempt to end the Greyhounds' season.

Season 50 Playoffs Semifinals game 1...Milwaukee at Los Angeles

 Los Angeles 75, Milwaukee 67

BIG ONE KEEPS ON ROLLING

LOS ANGELES -- The juggernaut that is the Los Angeles Big One nailed down playoff win No. 1, extending its winning streak to nine in a row with a 75-67 home triumph over the Milwaukee Greyhounds. 

Now 10-1 on the season, L.A. breezed its way to a 45-29 halftime lead, thanks in part to the 20 point effort of Rookie of the Year and All-MBA guard Flufferton Springs at that point. But Milwaukee, which had been decimated by the Big One by 32 points in the regular season, did not roll over. 

Taking advantage of a long rest to Springs and a foul-plagued third quarter by L.A., Milwaukee came roaring back to close the third quarter within two points of the lead, trailing just 55-53.

But Los Angeles methodically pulled away in the final stanza to go up 1-0 in this best of three semifinal.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Rookie of the Year FLUFFERTON SPRINGS did not shy away from the spotlight in this, his first post-season contest, as the lefty guard sniper torched Milwaukee for a game-high 31 points, leading The Big One to victory. Springs had 12 in the first, 20 by halftime, 24 after three and 7 more in the fourth. He was 12 for 15 from the floor and a perfect 3 for 3 from downtown, while going 4 for 6 from the foul line. The 6-foot shooting guard also passed out 3 assists. He dominated fellow rookie Thomas Thomas Thomas.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- The league's all-time leading assist man, Great Gruncle Terry of Los Angeles dished out a game-high 5 assists, scored 13 points, pulled down 4 boards and tied for most blocks on his team with 2.

-- All-MBA forward Crentis Dentist tied for game-high in rebounds with 8 while scoring 15 points and adding 1 assist. The league-leader in steals topped everyone in that department with 2 and tied for most blocked shots on his team with 2. 

-- Veteran Milwaukee point guard Fatty McButterpants tied for team-high with 4 assists, pulled down 5 rebounds and scored 12 points in the losing effort.

-- Milwaukee center Lothario Fartlek, who led the league in blocks for the second straight season, swatted away a game-high 3 shots, tied for most rebounds with 8 and scored 11 points.

-- Milwaukee forward Entha Shortzone scored 14 points, had 4 boards, 1 assist, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot. 

Next Up: Having captured Game 1, the defending champion San Jose Fighting Amigos look to close out the Philadelphia Phobia for the second season in a row in the semifinals. The Amigos have home court in this game, but the Phobia are not expected to go quietly.

Season 50 Playoffs...semis Game 1...San Jose at Philadelphia

 San Jose 97, Philadelphia 91

DEFENDING CHAMPS STEAL OPENER

PHILADELPHIA -- The defending champion San Jose Fighting Amigos out-scored the home team Philadelphia Phobia 97-91 in an uninhibited playoff encounter that saw both teams shoot over 60 percent from the field. 

Among the winning buckets for the visitors were 9 treys (Philly had 5) and 20 made foul shots out of 24.

Despite the fact that two Phobia starters and one reserve fouled out, the home team hung in and was down just 3 points with 14 ticks remaining in the contest. It was then that Fighting Amigos substitute forward Cheetah Vajajay (formerly of Philly) went to work. First, he force-missed a good short shot by Wawa Wewa, then drove to the hole and slammed one home on his team's next posession, putting the Amigos up 5 with 7 left. Vajayjay then blocked a good down low shot by Wewa and followed up with a swish from short that fouled out Wewa. He sank the free throw, putting San Jose up 8 with 3 ticks left. 

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Philadelphia center TACO TOOSDAE had a magnificent game for the losing Phobia, scoring a game-high 27 points and pulling down a game-high 6 rebounds. He added 1 assist. The 6-11 Toosdae was a smoking 13 for 16 from the floor with 3 slam dunks and was 1 for 4 from the foul line.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Hall of Fame guard Jesse Shershot of San Jose did rookie guard Ehhy Table of Philly dirty, pouring in a team-high 26 points and fouling out the defensive-minded newcomer in the process. The league-leading scorer pumped in four treys in the process and was a perfect 10 for 10 from the foul line. The four-time All-MBA guard also pulled down 3 boards, had 1 assist and 1 steal.

-- Veteran San Jose center Twinkles Spatula used his specialty, the slam dunk, to help him accumulate 18 points in the win. He added 3 boards and 1 assist.

-- Seventh year San Jose forward Cheetah Vajayjay came up huge off the bench to score 23 points, bombing away a trio of treys, grabbing 4 rebounds, handing out 1 assist and getting the big block on Wewa late. He scored the first 7 points of the game for the victors and got the team off to a great start with 10 first-quarter points.

-- Playing in his first playoff game, Philadelphia's classy second-year forward D Fenestration dominated Eddie Creamer of San Jose with a 17-point game that included 5 rebounds.

NEXT UP: The favorites to win it all, the Los Angeles Big One, take on the Milwaukee Greyhounds in Game 1 of their Semifinal match. The Big One destroyed Milwaukee in their cross-over meeting during the regular season by a score of 92-60, with Great Gruncle Terry of L.A. earning the POG. The slaughter rule was enforced in what turned out to be the biggest massacre of the season. 

Regular Season Stats for Season 50...part II...including team stats for playoff teams

NEXT UP: GAME ONE OF SEMIFINALS ... SAN JOSE AT PHILADELPHIA

 

Season 50 Regular Season stats, leaders, All-MBA, MVP, Rookie of the Year etc.

Next....position leaders...top 10 GVP...playoff team stats

 

Season 50 Featured Game No. 10...San Jose at Los Angeles...with two Golden Bonuses

Los Angeles 116, San Jose 80 (slaughter rule enforced)

BIG ONE DESTROYS AMIGOS 

LOS ANGELES -- The Los Angeles Big One captured their first West Division crown since their title year in Season 45 with a 116-80 mauling of the defending champion San Jose Fighting Amigos.

In winning their eighth consecutive game before a Hollywood crowd that roared its approval, L.A. demonstrated why they were picked as the top team in the most recent power rankings.

Shooting at a stratospheric 81.7 percent, the Big One came within two points of the single-game scoring record set by Seattle in Season 21 and set an MBA record for team assists in one game with 25 helpers. The previous record of 24 was shared by three teams, the last being Charleston over Seattle in Season 40. The others were Season 23 Sacramento and Season 28 Oklahoma City. 

Christ Almighty (bench players were in early) had a chance to get L.A. the single-game scoring record, but missed a 3-pointer at the horn. 

The 116 points was, however, enough to wrest the team scoring title away from San Jose for Season 50, with L.A. finishing with an 82.1 points per game average to the Amigos' 81.5. 

The Big One wasted little time to begin their onslaught, laying 31 points on the defending champs in the first quarter. In trying to keep up, San Jose registered a more-than-respectable 46 at the half, but Los Angeles had bombarded its way to 63 at the break and never let up, scoring 32 points in the fourth quarter.

San Jose finished the season 8-2 in second place in the West. 

This sets up the Season 50 playoff semifinals matches which will have 

-- San Jose vs. Philadelphia

-- Milwaukee vs. Los Angeles

PLAYERS OF THE GAME 

The 31-point show put on by Los Angeles center QUICK TINK nails down the first All-MBA center star for the fifth-year man and undoubtedly gives the 6-8 sharpshooter the regular season MVP award. Taking advantage of feeds into the post from point guard Great Gruncle Terry (who sewed up a record 5th assist title), Tink went 13 for 14 from the field, his lone miss coming from beyond the arc, where he was 1 for 2 for the game. He was 4 for 4 from the foul line. Tink also pulled down a game-high 5 rebounds. This stellar performance gives him a career best 18.8 points per game average, second in the league to Jesse Shershot of San Jose.

And 

The 29-point performance of Los Angeles forward CRENTIS DENTIST nailed down the first All-MBA season for the second year star. The 6-6 Dentist was 13 for 14 from the floor, his only miss coming from downtown (where he was 2 for 3). Dentist was also 1 for 2 from the foul line, pulled down 3 boards, had 3 assists and his team's only steal. He finished the season with a scoring average of 16.6 points per game, besting his rookie year average of 16.0.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Ten-year veteran guard Cat Timol of Los Angeles came off the bench for rookie star Flufferton Springs when the latter was plagued by foul trouble. All the 5-10 mighty mite did was score 16 points, block a game-high 3 shots and dish out 3 assists.

-- San Jose's Hall of Fame shooting guard Jesse Shershot nailed down his third consecutive scoring title and fourth straight All-MBA foil star in as many seasons with a sterling performance in a losing effort. Shershot rippled the twine for a team-high 26 points, including 5 long-distance bombs. He added 2 rebounds and 1 assist. He finished his fourth campaign with a 19.6 points per game average. Only four MBA players in the 50-season history of the league had begun their careers with four straight All-MBA seasons. Shershot is now the fifth.

MBA Standings … Season 50

EAST DIVISION (FINAL STANDINGS )

PHILADELPHIA…..7-3 (clinched playoff berth and division title)

MILWAUKEE……. 5-5 (clinched playoff berth)

CHARLESTON…… 5-5

OKLAHOMA CITY 5-5

DALLAS………………4-6 (clinched last)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES…..9-1 (clinched playoff berth and division title)

SAN JOSE………….8-2 (clinched playoff berth)

SACRAMENTO….3-6

GILLETTE…………..2-7

SEATTLE……………1-9 (clinched last)

 

Next Game: The Golden Anniversary regular season concludes with Gillette at Sacramento and a chance for the Humps to finish in the dizzying heights of the middle of the pack in the West. Gillette got one of its two wins this season against this same Sacramento team, 80-64, courtesy of a POG by Freddy Gooch. But this will be Doo-rag Dripp Day in Sacramento, so don’t expect the R-Dogs to come up with any negative canine tricks, such as rolling over.

Season 50 Golden Anniversary Bonus

MOUNT RUSHMORE 

OF EACH FRANCHISE

TENTH IN A SERIES...BASED ON NUMBER OF AWARDS GARNERED BY A PLAYER WHILE PLAYING FOR THIS TEAM.

Seattle Stampede

NIPPLE RINGS RAGUSKI, guard

GINGER VAMPIRE, guard

JAKE SPOON, center

M.E. “LOU” HARRIS, guard

                                                                                         

2nd Golden Bonus: 👎

The 10 Lowest-ranked players in MBA History

No. 10 (Worst career ever) 

Some index card will have to really be regrettably inadequate with unprecedented optimism and staying power to take the place of the number one worst career ever in the MBA, which belongs to the champion of the deficient….Jalapa Valley.

Raised in the rich tobacco growing area of Nicaragua, Jalapa managed somehow to find himself in the running for a spot on an MBA team, despite the fact that he could neither dribble nor pass, nor shoot nor defend, nor even make a free throw with any consistency.

His optimistic attitude saved/doomed him to a record 16 seasons in the cut pile where he was never, at any time, even considered as a possible pick-up by even the most desperate MBA team.

His career is a beacon of farcical ineptitude and a dire warning for those who overestimate their MBA capabilities.