Season 50 Featured Game No. 10...San Jose at Los Angeles...with two Golden Bonuses

Los Angeles 116, San Jose 80 (slaughter rule enforced)

BIG ONE DESTROYS AMIGOS 

LOS ANGELES -- The Los Angeles Big One captured their first West Division crown since their title year in Season 45 with a 116-80 mauling of the defending champion San Jose Fighting Amigos.

In winning their eighth consecutive game before a Hollywood crowd that roared its approval, L.A. demonstrated why they were picked as the top team in the most recent power rankings.

Shooting at a stratospheric 81.7 percent, the Big One came within two points of the single-game scoring record set by Seattle in Season 21 and set an MBA record for team assists in one game with 25 helpers. The previous record of 24 was shared by three teams, the last being Charleston over Seattle in Season 40. The others were Season 23 Sacramento and Season 28 Oklahoma City. 

Christ Almighty (bench players were in early) had a chance to get L.A. the single-game scoring record, but missed a 3-pointer at the horn. 

The 116 points was, however, enough to wrest the team scoring title away from San Jose for Season 50, with L.A. finishing with an 82.1 points per game average to the Amigos' 81.5. 

The Big One wasted little time to begin their onslaught, laying 31 points on the defending champs in the first quarter. In trying to keep up, San Jose registered a more-than-respectable 46 at the half, but Los Angeles had bombarded its way to 63 at the break and never let up, scoring 32 points in the fourth quarter.

San Jose finished the season 8-2 in second place in the West. 

This sets up the Season 50 playoff semifinals matches which will have 

-- San Jose vs. Philadelphia

-- Milwaukee vs. Los Angeles

PLAYERS OF THE GAME 

The 31-point show put on by Los Angeles center QUICK TINK nails down the first All-MBA center star for the fifth-year man and undoubtedly gives the 6-8 sharpshooter the regular season MVP award. Taking advantage of feeds into the post from point guard Great Gruncle Terry (who sewed up a record 5th assist title), Tink went 13 for 14 from the field, his lone miss coming from beyond the arc, where he was 1 for 2 for the game. He was 4 for 4 from the foul line. Tink also pulled down a game-high 5 rebounds. This stellar performance gives him a career best 18.8 points per game average, second in the league to Jesse Shershot of San Jose.

And 

The 29-point performance of Los Angeles forward CRENTIS DENTIST nailed down the first All-MBA season for the second year star. The 6-6 Dentist was 13 for 14 from the floor, his only miss coming from downtown (where he was 2 for 3). Dentist was also 1 for 2 from the foul line, pulled down 3 boards, had 3 assists and his team's only steal. He finished the season with a scoring average of 16.6 points per game, besting his rookie year average of 16.0.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Ten-year veteran guard Cat Timol of Los Angeles came off the bench for rookie star Flufferton Springs when the latter was plagued by foul trouble. All the 5-10 mighty mite did was score 16 points, block a game-high 3 shots and dish out 3 assists.

-- San Jose's Hall of Fame shooting guard Jesse Shershot nailed down his third consecutive scoring title and fourth straight All-MBA foil star in as many seasons with a sterling performance in a losing effort. Shershot rippled the twine for a team-high 26 points, including 5 long-distance bombs. He added 2 rebounds and 1 assist. He finished his fourth campaign with a 19.6 points per game average. Only four MBA players in the 50-season history of the league had begun their careers with four straight All-MBA seasons. Shershot is now the fifth.

MBA Standings … Season 50

EAST DIVISION (FINAL STANDINGS )

PHILADELPHIA…..7-3 (clinched playoff berth and division title)

MILWAUKEE……. 5-5 (clinched playoff berth)

CHARLESTON…… 5-5

OKLAHOMA CITY 5-5

DALLAS………………4-6 (clinched last)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES…..9-1 (clinched playoff berth and division title)

SAN JOSE………….8-2 (clinched playoff berth)

SACRAMENTO….3-6

GILLETTE…………..2-7

SEATTLE……………1-9 (clinched last)

 

Next Game: The Golden Anniversary regular season concludes with Gillette at Sacramento and a chance for the Humps to finish in the dizzying heights of the middle of the pack in the West. Gillette got one of its two wins this season against this same Sacramento team, 80-64, courtesy of a POG by Freddy Gooch. But this will be Doo-rag Dripp Day in Sacramento, so don’t expect the R-Dogs to come up with any negative canine tricks, such as rolling over.

Season 50 Golden Anniversary Bonus

MOUNT RUSHMORE 

OF EACH FRANCHISE

TENTH IN A SERIES...BASED ON NUMBER OF AWARDS GARNERED BY A PLAYER WHILE PLAYING FOR THIS TEAM.

Seattle Stampede

NIPPLE RINGS RAGUSKI, guard

GINGER VAMPIRE, guard

JAKE SPOON, center

M.E. “LOU” HARRIS, guard

                                                                                         

2nd Golden Bonus: 👎

The 10 Lowest-ranked players in MBA History

No. 10 (Worst career ever) 

Some index card will have to really be regrettably inadequate with unprecedented optimism and staying power to take the place of the number one worst career ever in the MBA, which belongs to the champion of the deficient….Jalapa Valley.

Raised in the rich tobacco growing area of Nicaragua, Jalapa managed somehow to find himself in the running for a spot on an MBA team, despite the fact that he could neither dribble nor pass, nor shoot nor defend, nor even make a free throw with any consistency.

His optimistic attitude saved/doomed him to a record 16 seasons in the cut pile where he was never, at any time, even considered as a possible pick-up by even the most desperate MBA team.

His career is a beacon of farcical ineptitude and a dire warning for those who overestimate their MBA capabilities.