Wednesday, April 20, 2016

RETIREMENTS FOLLOWING SEASON 37

CHICAGO HIT HARDEST BY RETIREMENTS; CUT PILE LEGEND SAYS "ADIOS"

The Chicago Gale had better make its move this season toward a championship, because after this campaign, starting superstar guards Didger A'doo and Ching-Chong Chung will be hanging up the sneakers.
A'doo is already one of the two best guards in Chicago history (along with Hall of Famer Doc Watson) and has made the Gale relevant again. Chung, who has played superbly for five different teams, is already a Hall of Famer and one of the greatest (if not the greatest) all-time point getters in league history.
Besides these two, three other starters were among the retirees, but none were so celebrated in song and longevity than center Pug Mahone, who came into the league in Season 9 and has hung on for 29 seasons, a vast majority in the cut pile, before finally hanging it up. In human years, this wiry index card would 50 years old, still toiling in the minors, hoping for another shot at the big time.
Not to be.


Saturday, April 16, 2016

37th MBA All Star Game Freakin' Excellent

WEST 100, EAST 98 IN OVERTIME
West wins best All Star Game ever played in any sport anywhere on this planet or any other

A slam dunk at the buzzer by rookie forward Walter Sobchack of Oklahoma City delighted the fans in that city and sent the All Star Game into the first overtime period in the history of the MBA.

A medium jumper by Sobchack's fellow rookie teammate from the Lariats, Naf Naf, put the West into the century mark in overtime and turned out to the be game-winner when Donkey Shame of Dallas denied Harold Arlen of Houston twice in the final two time units of the extra period to seal the deal.

There was a bevy of brilliant performances in this game, with Didger A'doo of Chicago coming off the bench to win MVP honors for the second consecutive season.

The West led most of the contest until the East, paced by A'doo and T. Kanes Masterson of Philadelphia, finally grabbed their first lead of the game 77-75 on a Masterson medium jumper with 36 time units left in regulation.

The teams exchanged leads down to the wire, when Wimsy Greenfoyle of Seattle tied the game 90-90 with 6 ticks remaining.

Seven-foot center Q-Bert McGuffin of Philadelphia regained the lead for the East with a jam, 92-90, with 3 left.

Donkey Shame was then denied a game-tying down low shot by Harold Arlen, but he had time to pass to Sobchack who slammed home the game-tying bucket at the buzzer.

20 PLUS GVP PERFORMANCES
-- Didger A'doo of Chicago was Game MVP for the second year with 34 points on 11 of 16 shooting, which included 8 of 10 from beyond the arc. He also had 2 rebounds and a steal.
-- T.Kanes Masterson of Philadelphia had 23 points, 3 rebounds and an assist, going 3 for 3 from 3.
-- Rookie Naf Naf of Oklahoma City hit the game-winner in overtime, two of his 21 points. He also had 4 assists and 2 rebounds.
-- Wimsy Greenfoyle of Seattle showed off his offensive abilities, leading the winning West team with 29 points, ripping down 5 boards and dishing out 2 assists.
-- The big 6-10 center from Dallas, Naceg Gecan, led everyone with 7 rebounds while piling up 22 points and getting 4 assists.
-- Rookie forward Walter Sobchack of Oklahoma City was also magnificent, blocking a game-high 6 shots, scoring 15 points (including the game-tying dunk in regulation), grabbing 3 rebounds and assisting 2 times.



NEXT UP: Retirement announcements, followed by this bracket of upcoming games:

First place Philadelphia (4-1) at Chicago (2-3) in an important East Division game for the Gale
First place Oklahoma City (4-1) at Dallas (2-3) in a contest of equal importance for the Demons in the West
Seattle (3-2) travels to San Jose (2-3) where the Fighting Amigos hope to overtake them for second in the West.
Sacramento (1-4) at Milwaukee (3-2) in a crossover that will likely keep the Greyhounds in playoff contention.
Charleston (3-2) should have little trouble when they travel to Houston (1-4)

Thursday, April 14, 2016

SEASON 37 ALL STAR GAME SELECTIONS



ALL STAR GAME NOTES

-- The West is way younger than the East...with the exception of third-year player Naceg Gecan, every other member of the West All Star team has been named to the team for the first time. Eleven players, more than half the players named to the two teams, are experiencing their first All Star game.
-- Three rookies, all in the West, made the All Star game.
-- Every team is represented by at least one player.
-- Only 5 of the 20 players from last season's game returned to the All Star contest this season. Of that number, only T. Kanes Masterson and Naceg Gecan have repeated as starters.
-- Hall of Fame center Max Payne is now just the 15th MBA player to make at least seven All Star Games.
-- Hall of Fame center Max Payne now has 13 awards on his card, tying him for 16th place all time. In gaining this All Star Game award, Payne outdistanced fellow Hall of Fame centers Bill Rustler and Rip Slamjam (each had 12 awards) and he is now tied with Tommy Zoop, Guru Gannon and Raisin Sport with 13 awards. Only two centers, Diamond Dallas Paige and Jonny Cockaroo (both with 16) are ahead of him on the all-time Hall of Fame list.
-- The East has won 23 games and the West 13 in the series. The game will take place in Oklahoma City, whose team, the Lariats, is in first place and has two rookies in the starting lineup for the West.
-- Not making the All Star Game this season are MBA luminaries such as:
* Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi of Houston, who has made the game 6 times, out for the season due to injury.
* Hall of Famer Ching-Chong Chung of Chicago, who has made the game 8 times.
* Vic Hitler of Houston, last season's regular season MVP (who just missed with a 20.0 GVP)
* Lemon Jell-o of Oklahoma City, who has made the game 5 times (missed despite a 21.8 GVP)
* Funsy Van Slochum of San Jose, who has made the game 4 times and has played at a 21.2 GVP clip in his 14the season.
-- Others with at least a 20 GVP who did not make the team:
* Forward Buck Naked of Charleston, 20.0
* Forward Sven Marquardt of Seattle, 21.0
* Forward Grube Gatchies of San Jose, 20.8
* Center Linwood Boomer of Sacramento, 20.0

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Hall of Fame Rankings

1. Curly Hogbottom 6-10 Forward Seasons 16-24 (9) 25 awards

2. Uncle Bob Masterson 6-2 Guard Seasons 4-13 (10) 21 awards

3. Sagittal Occlusal 6-8 Forward Seasons 25-32 (8) 19 awards

3. Cappy Gambol 6-6 Guard Seasons 1-7 (7) 19 awards

5. Boone Doggle 6-10 Forward Seasons 23-31 (9) 18 awards

5. Hrundi V. Bakshi 6-7 Guard Seasons 29-? (7) 18 awards STILL ACTIVE

8. Link Lennex 6-7 Forward Seasons 7-12 (6) 17 awards

8. Stu Nod 6-3 Guard Seasons 6-17 (12) 17 awards

10. Diamond Dallas Paige 6-11 Center Seasons 12-18 (7) 16 awards

10. Jonny Cockaroo 6-9 Center Seasons 18-29 (12) 16 awards

12. Doc Watson 6-2 Guard Seasons 9-17 (9) 15 awards

12. Cam Bodia 6-6 Forward Seasons 15-25 (11) 15 awards

14. Cheetos Jones 5-11 Guard Seasons 28-34 (7) 14 awards

14. Dan Mann 6-1 Guard Seasons 5-13 (9) 14 awards

16. Tommy Zoop 6-6 Guard Seasons 18-24 (7) 13 awards

16. Guru Gannon 6-7 Forward Seasons 11-17 (7) 13 awards

16. Raisin Sport 6-9 Forward Seasons 1-13 (13) 13 awards

19. Bill Rustler 6-9 Center Seasons 1-10 (10) 12 awards

19. Rip Slamjam 6-11 Center Seasons 5-19 (15) 12 awards

19. Max Payne 7-0 Center Seasons 26-? 11 awards STILL ACTIVE

22. Tom Kondla 6-8 Center Seasons 28-33 (6) 11 awards

22. Shucks Oyster 6-4 Guard Seasons 17-22 (6) 11 awards

22. Gato Do Mato 6-11 Forward Seasons 30-36 (7) 11 awards

22. Ching-Chong Chung 5-10 Guard Seasons 26-? 11 awards STILL ACTIVE

26. Joey Two-Tones 6-3 Guard Seasons 18-23 (6) 10 awards

26. Soul Duran 6-3 Guard Seasons 3-8 (6) 10 awards

26. Bart Pitbull 7-2 Center Seasons 17-23 (7) 10 awards

26. Shooter Flatch 6-7 Forward Seasons 19-25 (7) 10 awards

26. Alex Pal 6-11 Center Seasons 5-10 (6) 10 awards

26. Doug Fresh 5-11 Guard Seasons 1-15 (15) 10 awards


VETERANS COMMITTEE SELECTIONS
32. Marshall Stax 6-7 Forward Seasons 7-13 (7) 9 awards

32. Mable Reed 7-1 Center Seasons 6-16 (10) 9 awards

32. Tarjetas Indice 6-7 Forward Seasons 9-17 (9) 9 awards

32. Bub Wright 6-5 Forward Seasons 1-7 (7) 9 awards

32. Tug Hershorts 6-11 Forward Seasons 25-33 (9) 9 awards MOST RECENT INDUCTEE

37. Silo Chamberlin 5-10 Guard Seasons 1-6 (6) 8 awards

37. Oscar Mudcat 6-6 Guard Seasons 1-8 (8) 8 awards

37. Rowdy Ron Clutch 6-7 Forward Seasons 1-9 (9) 8 awards




Sunday, February 28, 2016

MBA SEASON 37 PREVIEW


Standings Predictions

The four playoff teams from last season, plus Chicago, will vie for post-season spots. Houston may have slightly more talent than Chicago, but the Iguanas draw the league's toughest schedule, with crossover games against Oklahoma City and Seattle, the two toughest teams in the West.

Tyler believes that expected rookie sensation Naf Naf, who he has dubbed "unstoppable," tips the scales in favor of Oklahoma City in a big way, going so far as predicting no losses for the Lariats. That remains to be seen.

East Division
1ST—Charleston Mountaineers
2nd – Chicago Gale
3rd – Houston Iguanas
4th – Milwaukee Greyhounds
5th—Philadelphia Phobia

West Division
1ST – Oklahoma City Lariats
2nd – Seattle Stampede
3rd – Dallas Demons
4th – Sacramento River Dogs
5th – San Jose Fighting Amigos

Major Moves
Chicago adds Hall of Fame guard Ching-Chong Chung to starting lineup from San Jose and longtime Seattle starting guard Ginger Vampire, who will come off the bench. Didger A’doo and Chung will be potent scoring punch for Gale. Glut of forwards by Houston allows Gale to pick up rookies Stu Gatz and Pap Smears, both candidates to start for Chicago. The bad news is they lost Harold Arlen.

Houston gets rebounding great Harold Arlen, who immediately bolsters starting lineup and teams with regular season MVP and Rookie of Year Vic Hitler at forward, pushing Blue “Rondo” Alaturk to bench. Iguanas lose league’s top scorer and All-MBA guard T. Kanes Masterson. But they have Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi ready to move back into starting lineup in his place. We’ll see what he has left.

Philadelphia snatches league’s leading scorer from Houston as T. Kanes Masterson adds much needed scoring punch to once-proud franchise.

The Rookies
6-0 Guard, Naf Naf, Oklahoma City Lariats…Comes into league with rep as maybe best scorer ever
6-7 Forward, Walter Sobchack, Oklahoma City Lariats…Best rookie forward, another starting scorer
7-1 Center, Ugatta Noluvfer Spikie, Milwaukee Greyhounds…Ama’s younger, taller brother a good one
6-8 Forward, Tea Time Typhoo, Charleston Mountaineers…pressing for starting spot for champs
6-9 Forward, Stu Gatz, Chicago Gale…will step into starting role, good player
6-11 Center, King Schmeckpepr. Sacramento River Dogs…shot-blocking newcomer will take over pivot
6-8 Forward, Pap Smearz, Chicago Gale…battling fellow rookie Gatz for starting position
6-7 Forward, Jairo Capoeira, Seattle Stampede…adds even more youth to starting lineup
6-0 Guard, Lapiz Lapiz Bligrafo, Dallas Demons…will start at point guard
5-11 Guard, Bob “Fats” Kittle, Seattle Stampede…good passer will see lots of action
6-1 Guard, Mel A. Noma, Philadelphia Phobia…gets starting nod at point for Philly
6-8 Center, Diz McMasters, Dallas Demons…backup center
6-0 Guard, Rosebud Petrie…joins brother Rob “Pitter Patter” Petrie in cut pile
6-8 Center, Steve “Drunk Uncle” Bromberger…the best among the league’s worst cut pile centers
6-8 Forward. Philo Catmando … cut pile, maybe for life
5-11 Guard, Cremeofsum Yun Guy…not horrible on offense…horrible on defense…cut pile

Best Improvements
6-6 Forward Joe “Blue” Pulaski, lost a number on free throw misses, got a Deny on 7 against shot, up to a +2 against the pass…still not out of cut pile
6-2 Guard, Simon Barsinister of Philadelphia improved four times, hits on 8 medium shot, Denies Shot on 10, slam dunks on 6 low and goes to a 4 on defensive rebounding…the team’s high scorer last year will still not start in front of newly acquired All-MBA guard T. Kanes Masterson, who led the league in scoring last season.
6-11 Forward, Gulemon Mon-Mon of Dallas improves big time going into 12th season with a Deny Shot on 8
6-0 Guard, Totes McGoats of San Jose loses a foul and gets a Deny on 8
5-11 Guard, Funsy VanSlochum of San Jose…the ageless one, going into his 14th season, is still starting and returns to his old team after a five-season absence, improving to a 6 dribbler and +3 defender against the dribble
6-4 Guard, Ginger Vampire of Chicago, longtime starter for Seattle will come off the bench for the Gale an even stronger player who now hits on 8 from medium, advances to a 6 passer and a +3 against the dribble
6-7 Forward, Art Vandelay of Chicago adds two “goods” down low and becomes the league’s best passer, now an 8
6-9 Forward, Sven Marquardt of Seattle improves to a 5 passer and fills in the 7 spot on his down low shot where he now only misses on a 12
6-7 Center, Dis Reflexia of Seattle…last season’s All-MBA center as a rookie, improves 3 times significantly…now a +2 against the dribble, improves to a 7 passer and gets a Deny Shot on 10, giving him 7-8-9-10 defenses against the shot.
6-1 Guard, Lemon Jell-0, Oklahoma City Lariats…All-MBA guard who has led the league in steals the past four seasons in a row, got better at stealing the ball…he is now a +6 against the pass.
6-3 Guard, Snarkey Comment of Houston will be better on defense with a Deny on 6 to go with his FM on 8
6-8 Center, Hodor of Houston pushes past Sanjay Patel into the starting lineup, going to an 11 offensive rebounder and adding a deny shot on 4.
6-1 Guard,Beezow Bop-Bop of Charleston came into his own as the Playoff MVP for the champion Mountaineers last year and will be even more assertive this season, increasing his tendency to shoot the ball in the short zone, where he is deadly.
6-1 Guard, Jesus Moron Joseph of Charleston was promoted to a starting spot and immediately improved, adding a good down low on 9 and increasing his passing ability to a 6 to match his dribbling capability.
6-6 Forward, Cy A. Nara of Charleston improved on both his ability against the pass and against the dribble where he is now a +4 both ways. Not bad for a fourth forward on the team.

FIRST GAMES

Dallas at Philadelphia
Seattle at Chicago
Charleston at Oklahoma City
Houston at Milwaukee
San Jose at Sacramento

As you can see, Seattle at Chicago will be a good test for both teams and last season's champs from Charleston travel to take on this season's predicted champs at Oklahoma City. San Jose at Sacramento pits the two worst teams in the league.