SEASON 36 PREVIEW

A killer draft that included a deep and talented rookie class and a number of proven veterans changed the landscape of the MBA coming into Season 36, making for a dispersal of talent that leaves the league without any patsies and a possible power shift from the East to the West.



THE EASTERN DIVISION

1. CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS: Went into the draft needing to replace four of five starters and ended up getting three of the top four rated players. Team was 3-7 last season and in last place in very competitive East. Not only did they get back last season’s Rookie of the Year forward B. Quiet (who they lost in dispersal draft), but they added All-MBA center and latest Hall of Famer Max Payne from Oklahoma City as well as excellent third-year guard from Chicago, Beezow Doo-Doo Zopitty Bop Bop-Bop. Second year forward Buck Naked improved tremendously and will play next to Quiet.

2. CHICAGO GALE: One win away from winning a championship last season, the Gale lost their glue guy, guard Beezow Bop-Bop in the draft, along with solid starting center Wayan Garuda. But they replaced Garuda with 6-11 rookie Magnus Dragonhof, who is somewhat of a mirror image of his predecessor. Veteran power forward Nobby Nabob improved greatly in the off-season, and if League MVP (both regular season and playoffs) and scoring leader Didger A’doo can come close to repeating his superb season, Chicago could make the playoffs for the third straight season and challenge for the title again.

3. HOUSTON IGUANAS: Houston has been in the playoffs three consecutive seasons, with one title, since Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi joined the team. In a shocking move by coach Tyler Masterson, the fifth-ranked (tie) player of all time will be replaced at the two guard by third-year forward T. Kanes Masterson. But Bakshi or Masterson, the Iguanas will be hard-pressed to continue their playoff streak, thanks to the loss of both starting forwards to retirement following last season. An influx of three solid rookies in the draft (center Hodor, forwards Vic Hitler and Blue “Rondo” Alaturk) as well as second-year forward Harry Verducci softens that loss somewhat. Center Sanjay Patel , who followed his All-MBA season of two years ago with a runner-up spot last season, will have to continue scoring and rebounding at a high rate. Houston has talent and depth, but do they have enough?

4. PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA: The Phobia fell one win short (5-5) of a playoff spot last season, but lost starting guard and Hall of Famer Ching-Chong Chung to San Jose in the draft. Patchy Fogg or Ted Hose will have to replace Chung in the starting lineup and neither has a track record that indicates they can match even a declining Chung’s effectiveness. Ama Spikie is coming off his finest scoring season, having led the Phobia and all centers with a 15.1 average last season. He is one award away from the Hall of Fame. Sunny Osiris and Gabba Penton are solid forwards and Jitter Bugg scored 13 per game at the point as a rookie but lacks defending skills.


5. MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS: The Greyhounds were right there again last season with a 5-5 record in the tough East, but they lost two key pieces in their starting lineup. Benny Lava, a fixture at point guard for nine consecutive seasons finally hung up his Nikes and last season’s leading scorer Art Vandelay (15.9 ppg) was lost to Chicago in the draft. Fourth-year man Ruby Rickio has Lava’s ball handling skills at offense, but can new starting forward Timm Brrrr replace Vandelay’s points? Longtime starters Steve Carter, Heat R. Vanmeter and Bruno Pantanal are back, but getting long in the tooth.


THE WESTERN DIVISION

1. SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS: Since Season 25 the Amigos have been a playoff fixture, finishing first seven times and second twice in the West. They lost a good scorer Schweaty Ballz and starting center Kevin Mickle from last season’s 7-3 team, but picked up two veteran guards in the draft and actually look better overall. Jerry Curl and Hall of Famer Ching-Chong Chung are both getting older, but might have enough left to make San Jose serious title contenders. Hall of Famer Gato DoMato was All-MBA for the fourth time last season and his running mate at forward L.B. Damned was second in the league in scoring with a 17.5 average. Seven-footer George Gershwin will have to play as big as his size in the middle . The rebounding specialist is the youngest starter on this squad, starting his fifth season. In other words, San Jose is old and needs to get it done now.

2. SEATTLE STAMPEDE: The polar opposite of San Jose in playoff success, Seattle has gone without a post-season appearance in the last seven seasons. They went 4-6 last season thanks to a 4-1 second half of the campaign and appear ready to build on that momentum. The Stampede had an excellent draft, concentrating on rookies and nabbing a trio of good ones. Center Diss Reflexia is a 6-7 dynamo and will be a key starter immediately along with 6-9 forward Sven Marquardt. Rookie guard Wimsy Greenfoyle can shoot with the best of them but plays no defense, so Seattle went and got under-achieving guard Julio Ganatra to be a starter next to veteran Ginger Vampire. And of course, late-blooming star Smokey Talisker, a first-team All-MBA forward and the team’s leading scorer (16.1) returns, but at a new position, small forward.

3. DALLAS DEMONS: The Demons are ready to make a giant leap from last season’s 2-8 cellar finish and should be one of three teams contending for the second playoff spot in the West. Talented second-year center Naceg Gecan will be joined on the front line by a pair of newcomers to the team, veteran 6-11 power forward Gulemon Mon-Mon and dynamic rookie small forward Danke “Donkey” Shame, who is amazing offensively around the basket despite his 6-5 size and plays really good defense to boot. Veteran point guard Fat Bob Herzfeld moves back into the starting point guard post with the departure of Jerry Curl. He will be joined by the team’s top scorer, Troells Rasmussen (16 points per game) at the two guard.

4. OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS: The defending champions lost two giants from their title team of a season ago, having lost the league’s leading rebounder and solid defender Stone Flinthorn at forward and Hall of Fame All-MBA center Max Payne to Charleston in the draft. They will still be in the thick of it in the suddenly competitive West, thanks to a talented rookie class that allowed them to snatch 6-8 forward Reckless Abandon, rated the No. 2 newcomer. He should fill in nicely for Flinthorn, but the Lariats were forced to replace the runner-up MVP Payne with cut pile center Phuc Mailife. Mr. Everything, guard Lemon Jell-o returns as the team’s top scorer with 16.2 per game, having won the steals title in the MBA three years running. Taylor Quackstick (15.9 ppg) returns his exciting forward play. If point guard Walt White (13.0 per game) can return to his big scoring ways, Oklahoma City could be right in the hunt again.

5. SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS: After over-achieving with three playoff seasons in four campaigns, the bubble finally burst for the talent-bereft River Dogs last season, as the team went 3-7 to finish fourth. But although we have them dropping to last in the division this coming season, the Sacramento team will be much improved, adding four new starters to go with their best returning player, Alejandro Lemieux. Funsy Van Slochum, in his 13th season, comes over from Charleston to start for his fourth different team. Solid 6-3 guard Achtu Meinlieber, a fourth-season reserve for Houston, will man the other backcourt spot. Center Wayan Garuda comes over from Chicago and is another good addition, as is 6-8 forward Bruce Hammer, who scored 14.9 for Seattle last season. Sacramento might contend yet again in the West, only this time, it won’t be as much of a surprise.


THE ROOKIES

No. 1 MBA fan Phil Davia likes to know the rookies joining the league each season, so here we go. This is one of the most talented influx of new guys we’ve ever had. For example, last season only three rookies started for their respective teams. This season seven of the 16 new guys will be starters, with more right on the verge. The top three will battle for rookie of the year and are projected as immediate stars. In roughly ranking order, the Season 36 rookies are:
1. Diss Reflexia, 6-7 center, Seattle, will start and be in running for rookie of the year … powerful rebounder for small pivot; plays good defense, has scorer’s mentality and is superb shooter with down-low moves.

2. Reckless Abandon, 6-8 forward, Oklahoma City, will start for defending champs and be in ROY running … not a great rebounder for his size, but plays excellent defense and is best rookie in the draft on driving to hoop; great passer, excellent shooter with range.

3. Danke “Donkey” Shame, 6-5 forward, Dallas, will start and be in running for rookie of year … will bring Dallas fans out of their seats with down-low moves and dunking ability for a small forward; also plays superb defense.

4. Blue “Rondo” Alaturk, 6-9 forward, Houston, will start … tough defender, good passer

5. Sven Marquardt, 6-9 forward, Seattle, will start … excellent rebounder, can score down low

6. Hodor, 6-8 center, Houston…will back up fixture Sanjay Patel but is immediately top-flight sub

7. Magnus Dragonhof, 6-11 center, Chicago, will start … great size, great rebounder, can score some

8. Vic Hitler, 6-7 forward, Houston, won starting job, steady player, does everything fairly well

9. Wimsy Greenfoyle, 6-2 guard, Seattle, sharpshooter will be first guard off bench, plays no defense


THEY MADE THE LEAGUE, BUT BARELY

Pricklebush Tickletush, 5-11 guard, Chicago, will be fourth guard on team … excels at on-ball defense
Chas Witkowski, 6-0 guard, Dallas, fourth guard on team, decent ball handler, shoots a little, hacker
Louie Subgum, 6-4 guard, Milwaukee, fourth guard on team, good passer, good shot, hacker
Ceasar Seizure, 6-7 forward, San Jose, fourth forward, can’t rebound, good defensively

STRAIGHT TO THE CUT PILE
Verbal Kent, 6-2 guard, aggressive rebounder, too-aggressive defender, hacks like hell
Moshi Moshi, 6-0 guard, best ball-handling guard among rookies but plays little D with no shot
Pelton Crane, 6-0 guard , can’t dribble or pass or shoot…plays decent defense and rebounds OK

OPENING GAMES

Dallas at Oklahoma City....Season starts out with a bang as improved Dallas meets defending champs in what could be a telling game in the West

Philadelphia at Chicago...home team begins long playoff run against once-dominant franchise fallen on hard times

Milwaukee at San Jose...Projected best in West against projected worst in East

Seattle at Houston...Let's see if excitement about the Stampede is warranted as they go on road against tough Houston. (boldface equals biggest upcoming game)

Sacramento at Charleston ... Pre-season favorite Mountaineers host rebuilt Sacramento team in crossover.

Their Place in the MBA Pantheon

Every season, as MBA commissioner, I place retired players into envelopes based on the (1) the number of awards they have won and (2) their overall scoring average.

The best of these, of course, go into the MBA Hall of Fame. The rest are distributed within the envelopes and between the players where they are ranked.

Currently, besides the Hall of Fame, there are five envelopes, with the top players not in the Hall of Fame in the envelope marked "Tier 1." The worst envelope, is, of course, the dreaded Tier 5.

So for the first time, I make these retirement placements public. Maybe you will enjoy the final placements and smile at the names of the past where these new retirees are surrounded.





As an added sidenote: Boo Radley, who turned the tide in the MBA Finals, coming from the cut pile to shut down Chicago's Didger A'doo for eventual champion Oklahoma City, was originally cut at the beginning of the season by, who else, Chicago.

SEASON 35 POST-SEASON SUMMARY

LARIATS WIN FIRST TITLE

With the Oklahoma City Lariats winning their first title, only Seattle and Sacramento are without championships.

DIDGER A'DOO WINS MVP OF PLAYOFFS IN CLOSE VOTE OVER MAX PAYNE AND LEMON JELL-O

Didger A'doo becomes the third Chicago player to win MVP of the Playoffs honor and the first from the Gale to do so since Hall of Fame guard Doc Watson did it in Chicago's Season 16 championship season. A'doo is the third player from Chicago to win the award. The first Gale winner was Cole Dreadlock in Chicago's other title year, Season 2.

A'doo is one of 12 players to win the MVP of the Playoffs Award to come from the runner-up team. They are:

Season 35--Didger A'doo, guard from Chicago
Season 32--Hrundi V. Bakshi, guard from Milwaukee (HOF)
Season 29--Cock A. Doodledoo, guard from San Jose
Season 27--Saggital Occlusal, forward from San Jose (HOF)
Season 24--Dingo Dog Taylor, forward from Houston
Season 23--Joey Two-Tones, guard from Dallas (HOF)
Season 18--Jonny Cockaroo, center from Philadelphia (HOF)
Season 13--Streetcar Johnny Masterson, guard from Oklahoma City
Season 12--Diamond Dallas Paige, center from Oklahoma City (HOF)
Season 10--Bill Rustler, center from Seattle (HOF)
Season 8--J.D. Jedreat, forward from Charleston
Season 5--Doc Watson, guard from Houston (HOF)


A'doo is also the 11th player to win both the regular season and post-season MVP awards in the same campaign.

Season 35--Didger A'doo, guard from Chicago
Season 34--Hrundi V. Bakshi, guard from Philadelphia (HOF)
Season 27--Saggital Occlusal, forward from San Jose (HOF)
Season 25--Saggital Occlusal, forward from San Jose (HOF)
Season 23--Joey Two-Tones, guard from Dallas (HOF)
Season 22--Curly Hogbottom, forward from Philadelphia (HOF)
Season 21--Tersio Tataruga, forward from Dallas
Season 19--Curly Hogbottom, forward from Philadelphia (HOF)
Season 14--Stu Nod, guard from Philadelphia (HOF)
Season 6--Cappy Gambol, guard from Milwaukee (HOF)
Season 3--Cappy Gambol, guard from Milwaukee (HOF)

PAYNE EARNS MBA HALL OF FAME INDUCTION

Oklahoma City center Max Payne becomes the 38th member of the MBA Hall of Fame and the 9th center to make it to the Hall. He did so in his 10th season, his first with Oklahoma City, who he helped capture their first MBA championship.

Payne played 11 seasons for Dallas and becomes the first player in league history to earn the Hall of Fame after sitting on the bench for three consecutive seasons. During those years, the 7-footer backed up another Hall of Famer, center Tom "the Bomb" Kondla, and MBA fans wondered if Payne would retire prior to getting another chance at starting and earning Hall honors. With Kondla's retirement, Payne again started for Dallas last season, but was strangely ineffective. But he came back like gangbusters this season, earning All Star Game and All-MBA honors as well as a championship ring to put him over the top.

Thus far (he will return for his 10th season) Payne has amassed 3 All-MBA stars, 5 All Star game honors and 2 championship rings.











THE CHAMPS

MBA SEASON 35 FINALS...CHAMPIONSHIP GAME (game 5)

Oklahoma City 68, Chicago 51

LARIATS LEAVE NO DOUBT IN WINNING FIRST TITLE

OKLAHOMA CITY -- The haunting playoff injuries that kept dominant Oklahoma City teams of the past from hoisting a championship banner were exorcised here tonight, as the home team Lariats, this time aided by an injury, won it all with elan.

When point guard Walt White, once an all MBA guard and league's leading scorer, went down to injury in Game 3 and was forced to the bench for the next contest, Coach Benny Gumm looked at the meager cut pile offerings, literally rolled the dice, and plucked the much-maligned Boo Radley as White's replacement. Nobody had any idea at the time what a genius move that it was.

From that point on, a once-close Finals series became all Oklahoma City.

Radley, always an excellent defender, put the clamps on MBA MVP and leading scorer Didger A'doo, and the man who had scored 25, 27 and 18 points in the first three games to give his team a 2-1 series lead, was held to 11 and 13 in the final two games. Radley turned out to be just what the doctor prescribed for the league's best defense. After Chicago kicked off the finals with 82 points, the Lariats tightened the noose on their opponents offense game by game, yielding 65, then 63, then 54 and finally just 51 points on their way to the championship.

The Lariats were led in the championship contest by their two stars, Max Payne and Lemon Jell-o. Payne was the MVP of the Game with a game-high 22 points, 4 rebounds, 3 blocked shots, 1 steal and 1 assist. Lemon Jell-o had 20 points, 4 rebounds, 2 steals and an assist.

On Top of it all, Max Payne, in gaining his championship ring, became the 38th member of the MBA Hall of Fame and the fourth active member of the Hallowed Hall in the league.

NEXT UP: Naming the Playoff MVP and Playoff Statistics.

MBA Season 35 Finals Game 4 at Chicago

OKLAHOMA CITY 68, CHICAGO 54

LARIATS GUARDS DOMINATE IN MUST-WIN GAME; ONE-GAME SHOWDOWN AWAITS

CHICAGO -- The Oklahoma City Lariats, spurred by the finest game in cut pile acquisition Boo Radley's checkered career, extended the Season 35 Championship Finals to a fifth and final game with a decisive 68-54 road win over the Chicago Gale.

It was the fourth consecutive road triumph in as many Finals contests to go to the visiting team, prompting Lariats head coach Benny Gumm to reference a "home court disadvantage." If that is, indeed, the case, Oklahoma City is in trouble, because the final game of this memorable series will take place in their stadium.

Radley, playing for the injured Walt White, had the game of his life. The defensive genius was hard on Chicago's top offensive weapon, holding the regular season and playoffs leading scorer Didger A'doo to just 11 points, about half his playoff average. But in addition to his great defense (which included a game-high 5 blocked shots and a steal) Radley pumped in 17 points, grabbed 4 rebounds and dished out 3 assists. He did, however, do his scoring with mass volume in the shots department, throwing up a game-high 20 and sinking 7, including 1 for 7 from 3-point range.

Yet it was Radley's 5-point burst in the fourth quarter that opened the lead for the Lariats to 16 points and more or less buried Chicago. And shot volume played a big part in the Lariats win as they yakked up 15 more shots than did the Gale. Neither team shot 50 percent.

Radley's running mate at guard, Lemon Jell-o, was even better, getting MVP of the Game honors with a game-high 21 points, 4 rebounds, 4 assists, 3 steals and a blocked shot. It was his first MVP of the Game award of the post-season and his timing kept his team alive and in the running for their first title ever.

Game 5 will mark the first time the title series has gone the distance since Season 29 when Philadelphia bested San Jose to begin the first of five consecutive championships.

Playoff Notes: Doot Doot-Doot was immediately relegated to the cut pile by Oklahoma City, with Radley earning his roster spot for the final game and White making a return as well. The question to ponder now for Benny Gumm is who to start at point guard for his team. Walt White's 20-point performance in Game 2 was hugely responsible for the Lariats' first Finals win, but he plays no defense. But with Radley at the point, Oklahoma City shut down A'doo and held Chicago to a season-low 54 points.

Any feedback, MBA fans? Who should start, White or Radley?

NEXT UP: The Championship game in Oklahoma City...winner takes all.

Season 35 Finals Game 3 Chicago at Oklahoma City

Chicago 63, Oklahoma City 61

GALE ESCAPES LARIAT'S NOOSE WITH MIRACLE WIN

OKLAHOMA CITY -- The Oklahoma City Lariats had Game 3 of the Finals all but banked, but the Chicago Gale pulled a last gasp Jesse James and robbed the home team of what appeared to be a sure victory.

The 63-61 win puts Chicago in the driver's seat, going home for the next contest and needing just one win to get the third championship in franchise history.

The Lariats led by 10 going into the final quarter, and Chicago showed absolutely no sign of an offensive pulse as they headed into the final 70 time units. The Oklahoma five held that 10-point lead until halfway into the fourth quarter when Chicago finally came to life. Down by 7 with 27 time units left in the game, Didger A'doo brought Chicago within 4 points with his first 3-pointer of the game. (A'doo had been somnambulant in the first half, scoring just one point and taking just two shots).

Here's how the rest of the game unfolded:

* Chicago's Beezow Bop-Bop fouled out immediately after the A'doo 3-pointer.
* Chicago fought its way back to within 2 with 11 TUs left, but center Max Payne of Oklahoma City scored down low to put his team up 4
* This was followed by a 3-pointer from A'doo with 7 TUs left, bringing Chicago within 1 at 59-58
* Payne answered with a slam dunk over Wayan Garuda's forced miss on the next time unit, extending the Lariat lead to 3
* On the very next time unit A'doo drilled a game-tying 3-point swish from the Netherlands despite a forced miss defensively from Lemon Jell-o.
* A missed 3-pointer from Tubes Mullard of Oklahoma City was rebounded by Orange Jell-o of Chicago, who wrestled it from the grasp of Oklahoma City's Payne.
* It was then Orange Jell-o who scored the game-winner on a slam dunk with 4 time units left in the game.
* Taylor Quackstick had a chance to tie it at the buzzer, but his medium jump shot was off the mark, and the entire Oklahoma City crowd vomited simultaneously.

Co-MVPs of this magnificent game were the two All-MBA players in this Finals competition: Didger A'doo of Chicago (his third of the playoffs) and the 7-foot beast of a center Max Payne of Oklahoma City (his second).
A'doo had a game-high 18 points that included 3 rebounds, 4 steals and an assist.
Payne led his team with 17 points and had 5 blocked shots, 2 rebounds and 2 assists.

Two major injuries took place in the game.
--Point guard Walt White of Oklahoma City was hurt halfway through the second quarter and missed the remainder of the contest. He will not play in the next game either and will only return if there is a fifth and final contest. He was ably replaced by super sub Tubes Mullard who had 11 off the bench. White will be replaced in the next game by Boo Radley, called up from the cut pile, who will be inserted into the starting lineup at point guard for the important Game 4.
--Chicago power forward Nobby Nabob was injured halfway through the third quarter and missed the remainder of the game. His injury is more serious than White's because he will not return for the remainder of the playoffs, putting Orange Jell-o into the starting lineup for Game 4 in this, his final year of MBA competition. O. Jell-o was key down the stretch in the Game 3 win. Chicago replaced Nabob on the playoff roster with 6-8 rookie forward Davis Phillips from the cut pile. Phillips began the season in Dallas, played four games then went to the cut pile. Now he has a chance for a championship ring. Oh fate, ye are a strange bedfellow.

Playoff Note: Should Oklahoma City come back and win the championship, Max Payne's championship ring would put him over the 10-award hump for the MBA Hall of Fame.

Next Up: Back to Chicago for Game 4 and the possible clincher for the Gale. However, it must be noted that the home team has yet to be victorious in these Finals.

MBA Season 35 Finals...Game 2

Oklahoma City 75, Chicago 65

LARIATS COME OUT SMOKIN' TO EVEN SERIES

CHICAGO -- This was not worth the 29-season wait for patient Chicago fans.

The first Finals game played in The Windy City since Season 16 blew. Right out of the gate the visitors from Oklahoma City took command and rushed to a 29-13 first-quarter advantage. By halftime the winners of the Western Division held a 20-point lead that they increased to 22 points going into the fourth.

Only then did Chicago come to life, outscoring Oklahoma City 24-12 and closing to within 10 at game's end. Point guard Didger A'doo poured in 16 points in the last quarter, getting a game-high 27 that included 7 more 3s and another MVP of the Game award.

His effort was offset by Oklahoma City's point guard Walt White, who finally came to life offensively, getting 20 points of his own to lead his team to victory and a 1-1 Finals tie in this best of five.

Beezow Bop-Bop of Chicago never could get going, hitting on just 2 of 11 shots from the field.

Next Up: With the Finals knotted up, the teams travel back to Oklahoma City for Game 3.

PLAYOFF NOTES: A'doo's 7 made 3s in this game come on the heels of the first-round clincher against San Jose when he tied a playoff record with 8 long bombs.

Fraternal twins Lemon Jell-o of Oklahoma City and Orange Jell-o of Chicago are in their first Finals against each other and it will be their last, since Orange will retire following the series.