Tyler ranks the Season 45 Rookies

Subject: My Season 45 Rookie Ratings

Not the best class, not the worst class (but close to it). Two major notable outcomes: almost every player is a hacker, and there is no one classified as excellent.

That being said, here goes. Line breaks of quality are

Great pick 1
Good pick 2-3
Speculative 4-7
Wasted pick 8-12
Fire your GM 13-16
bF - Eddie "The Milkman" Creamer - big man has all the tools. A little weak in the short zone and a little hacky, but will be a perennial starter, probably a all star on occasion if he improves.
G - Mister Methane - Has all the offensive tools, hold ball handling, to be a 20+ point scorer, but will foul out most games. I think he ends up the most exciting player here, and will sell the most jerseys this year. KC would love to have him. Good rebounder
C - Papa "Pupa" Popcorn - Solid everywhere, will be the most consistent player in the schizophrenic rookie pile. Great D, Reb, Offense, pass. Struggles in the short zone
G - AnDamian Wayne, great Reb, volume shooter, can defend a bit, his value depends what team he's on. Could be as low as 6th on a team with a strong front court.
sF - Hi-Ho Bootwhip, hacker with no D, good ball skills, great shot. This guy will score
G - Don Barzini, looks like a defensive minded, good rebounding, passer. Low shooting % should be expected, but not a shooter
G - Buddy Flakes - All american boy has some nice skills that could make him a contributor somewhere. Defense against shot is lacking and hacky but can rebound and shoot from the mid zone
C - Asiago Cheese - pretty solid all around. Struggles from the short zone where he shoots it, but will be a nice bench player to have.
G - Oil Pan Phelps. Great rebounds, good ball handler, amazing from 3, but Im not sure where this guy could play. He cant make too many shots and he plays zero def (hack on seven). Basically barzini with worse defense. Stands to be an allstar if he improves his 3pt tendency
F - Odell Taters - not gonna kill you anywhere
C - Waylan Pillsbury - No defense AT ALL, but otherwise can get the job done off the bench
G - Phillip Mamouf-Wifarts - wont kill you, a little hacky, but can make some shots and defend a little.
C - Chick "the preacher" Blades - hacker, sucks at most things
sF - Billy Bowel - all around trash with a block on 7
F - Rudy Schmegagas III - pure hacky garbage - with a block on 7
F - Dreamy "the possession ender" Ray Wilson - a shooter the like's we've never seen. Rolled the highest shooting tendency possibly for a forward, will shoot immediately no less than 60% of the time he gets the ball, and has no business in any zone doing so. Also super hacker with no rebounding or ball skills. utter garbage

Season 45 Free Agents Declarations

COLQUIT CROIX LEADS EXCITING GROUP OF FREE AGENTS INTO SEASON 45
The Philadelphia Phobia got hammered in free agency declarations leading into Season 45. The Phobia, one of the top teams in the East, lost Hall of Fame guard Colquitt Croix and two other starters, Sloppy Dollop and Akbar Zagobia.

Oklahoma City, last in the West in Season 44, lost two starters, but neither are comparable to starters lost by Philly or any other team for that matter.

Defending champion Sacramento lost no starters, and Los Angeles goes into the upcoming draft in the best position of any team, going unscathed in free agent declarations.

Eight former Chicago players will also enter the draft as free agents, four of them starters.

NEXT UP: The making of the rookie class of Season 45.

MBA S44 Semifinals Game 3...Dallas at Sacramento

Sacramento 87, Dallas 81
RIVER DOGS EXORCISE DEMONS, ADVANCE TO FINALS
SACRAMENTO --

RIVER DOGS FIGHT SONG
The R-Dogs,
The R-Dogs,
Everybody loves the R-Dogs!

The R-Dogs,
The R-Dogs,
The Greatest Team Around!

They Might, Just, Never be Good
But We Don't Care
Give That Dog A Bone

They Are the ONLY TEAM for US
The Greatest Team Ara-ounnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd
--written by Phil Davia

They broke out the old song tonight, as the home team Sacramento River Dogs uncharacteristically put on an offensive show to out-point the league's top scoring team and advance to their first Finals series since Season 15.

An outrageous fourth quarter, played at a fever-pitch pace, saw 52 points go up on the board, with Dallas coming from 8 points back to tie the score 69-69 with 42 tics remaining. They took a 2-point lead with 37 left, Sacramento tied it again with 34 remaining at crunch time. From that point on there were three more ties before Dallas took a 1-point lead, Sacramento regained the lead on a trey by Potus Obama; Dallas scored to grab the lead again, and Obama's gigantic trey gave Sacramento a 2-point lead once more.

Smearz finally gave his team some breathing room with another hoop with 15 left, and the R-Dogs led by 4.
When Sacramento's Obama fouled out with 13 ticks remaining, Sacramento held a 83-79 lead.

The last 13 time units went thus:

-- Dallas forward Al A. Orden, having the game of his life, scored down low to bring the Demons within 2 again, 83-81.
-- Peeshie Pooshie, just in for the fouled out Obama, drilled a big-time trey against the team that traded him, increasing Sacramento's lead to 86-81.
-- with 10 left, Dallas guard Bingo Bango misses his 3-point attempt and Gruncle Terry snares the rebound for the R-Dogs.
-- with 8 left, Sacramento center Tree Fiddy has his sure-fire down low shot blocked by Gotoo Grot of Dallas and the Demons take over with 7 left.
-- League MVP Chip Battoe's short-good is denied by Doo-rag Dripp of Sacramento, who then force misses another good shot by Battoe...Pooshie rebounds...4 left.
-- Bango fouls Terry who makes the first of 1 and 1, misses the second...87-81 R-Dogs...Battoe grabs rebound...2 left (fans already celebrating...rippiing off each other's clothes)
-- Bango tries a medium shot...Terry blocks it...(more hysteria in the stands...fornication...murders...baptisms)...ball goes out of bounds...1 tick left
-- Orden's attempt at a 3-pointer is denied by Smearz
-- Game over...River Dogs advance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Note: It must be pointed out that Dallas point guard Bootlace Barnaby was injured in the second quarter with 32 time units remaining and lost for the rest of the game.

PLAYER OF GAME
Fourth-year Dallas forward AL A. ORDEN was magnificent in defeat, scoring a game-high 28 points on a record-tying 12-for-12 shooting day that saw him pop in a pair of treys and slam dunk two. He grabbed 5 rebounds, had 2 assists and almost single-handedly kept Dallas in the game, frustrating Sacramento to no end as he had the best game of his career. He scored 12 points in the madman fourth quarter alone. The only time he missed was at the free throw line, where he was 2 for 4. He had an enormous semifinals, going 25 for 29 from the floor (86 percent). Being denied his last-ditch trey by Smearz at game's end put him in the playoff record book (he would have missed). Orden joins Hall of Fame center Mable Reed, Milwaukee vs. Oklahoma, Season 12; center Diss Reflexia of Seattle, Season 37; and Philadelphia center Q-bert McGuffin, Season 37 with perfect 12 for 12 playoff games.

Other 20-plus GVP performers
-- Sacramento guard Potus Obama moved to the point for Game 3 and responded with a team-high 26-point outburst that included 4 treys, 2 rebounds and a blocked shot before he fouled out. His 4 for 5 from deep and 5 for 7 for the series was insanity itself, since he was just 1 for 11 from that range in the regular season. "He performed like a champion," said coach Frankie Pantangeli, who cursed him up and down the sidelines all season. Obama had 7 points in the killer fourth quarter.

-- The playoffs have been a coming out party for highly touted Sacramento rookie guard Great Gruncle Terry. The No. 1 premium pick ever had a solid but unspectacular season, but was a force against Dallas in the post-season. In this game he was moved from point to two guard to shadow big-scoring Bingo Bango, and halved Bango's scoring average in Game 3. Meanwhile, Terry continued to put up huge offensive numbers, getting 20 points in this game, blocking a team-high 3 shots, grabbing 4 boards and tying for game-high in assists with 4.

-- Veteran Sacramento forward Pap Smearz was frustrated in his inability to stop Al A. Orden (he cold-cocked him the previous game) but contributed 13 points a team-high 5 rebounds and tied for game-high in assists with 4. He scored 7 big points in the fourth quarter.

-- 7-2 second-year center Gotoo Grot of Dallas also began living up to expectations in this post season. The big man scored 18 points for the second game in a row and yanked down a game-high 7 rebounds while blocking one shot against the league's All-MBA center, Tree Fiddy.

-- This was a nightmare game for the MBA's two-time MVP forward Chip Battoe of Dallas. The league's top scorer was held to just 9 points in this crucial contest, averaging just 11 points for the series. But despite his offensive woes, Battoe contributed 5 rebounds, had 2 assists, 1 steal and blocked 7 more shots. He'll undoubtedly be back to improve on those numbers in future playoff appearances.

NEXT UP: The Finals, where the team with the most championships in MBA history will take on the only team without a title. It's Sacramento at Philadelphia for Game 1.

S44 Semifinals Game 2 Sacramento at Dallas

Dallas 87, Sacramento 71
DEMONS RIDE KILLER Bs TO CONVINCING WIN; TIE SERIES
DALLAS -- The high-powered offense of the Dallas Demons soundly trumped the usually stingy defense of the Sacramento River Dogs as the home team tied up the best of three Semifinals with an 87-71 triumph.

Fourth-year Dallas shooting guard Bingo Bang upped the ante from his 18-point first-game performance, potting a game-high 28. League MVP Chip "the Crip" Battoe, after a sub-par performance in the Game 1 loss, ratcheted it up for his first triple-double of Season 44. And the supporting cast was more than adequate, setting up a win-or-go-home showdown game back in Sacramento.

The game was pretty much decided near the end of the first half. Coming off a putrid first quarter the River Dogs worked their way back to within 2 points of the leaders, when it all fell apart. Bango went off for two consecutive treys and Battoe was blocking shots and recording thefts. By the time halftime came around, the nine-point advantage that had started the quarter was stretched to 16, which turned out to be the final margin of victory.

It could have been worse had Sacramento not prevented 14 points with some pretty good defense, but Dallas was just on fire.

The fourth quarter saw the bad blood of frustration rear its ugly head as Sacramento's Pap Smearz lit into the man he was up against all game, Dallas' Al A. Orden, following a rebound skirmish, with Smearz getting the better of the fracas, but being booted out of the game.

Smearz later said that Orden was swearing at him in some foreign language, but Orden claims that he was only greeting Smearz in the tradition of his country.

"I just said 'At your command,' in my native tongue," said Orden. "And he clocked me."

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS
Sacramento 2 - 4 - 4 - 4 Total=14
Dallas.....4 - 0 - 4 - 2 Total=10

TOP PLAYERS IN POINTS PREVENTED
1. Chip Battoe, Dallas 8
2. Pap Smearz, Sacramento 6

PLAYER OF GAME
The last time Dallas two guard BINGO BANGO was in the playoffs two seasons ago, he walked away with the Playoff MVP award, despite being on a losing team. The two games he's put together in this Semifinals series shows that the 6-4, fourth-year man loves the post-season. In this game he pumped in 28 points on 10 of 15 shooting, continuing the 66.7 percent marksmanship he established in Game 1. Four of those 10 buckets came from long range (4 for 6) and he was a perfect 4 for 4 from the foul stripe. Always a fine rebounder, Bango pulled down 5 boards and dished out 3 assists as he rode roughshod over Potus Obama, who fouled out trying to guard him.

Other 20-plus GVP performers
-- Second-year center Gotoo Grot has been outstanding in his two games against the All-MBA center Tree Fiddy of Sacramento. The league's biggest big man scored 18 points, tied for game-high in rebounds with 6, had 1 block and 1 assist in the victory.

-- The MBA's MVP two years running, Chip Battoe of Dallas settled into magnificence after his initial playoff funk in Game 1. Battoe delivered what he failed to do during the regular season, a triple-double, the fifth of his two-season career. The 14 points he scored were the least impressive of his statistics. The 6-8 Battoe tied for game-high in rebounds with 6, registered the only three thefts in the contest, negated a game-high 8 points all by himself and came within one of tying a playoff record for blocked shots with 7 swat-aways. The record is 8, established by Jethro Jedreat of Charleston against Philadelphia in Season 8 and matched in Season 28 by Hall of Fame center Max Payne, playing for Dallas against Charleston.

-- Sacramento's rookie point guard "Great" Gruncle Terry, the POG of Game 1, was damned good again in Game 2. He scored 17 points, grabbed 3 rebounds and distributed a game-high 5 assists for the second game in a row, pretty much overshadowing veteran Bootlace Barnaby, who took on the assignment of reigning in the River Dog rookie.

-- Going up against the league's top defender and scoring 19 points in consecutive games is a pretty good trick, and one accomplished by Sacramento's fine small forward Doo-rag Dripp. Dripp led his team in scoring, snagged 4 rebounds and had 1 assist despite the intimidating presence of Chip Battoe, who hounded his every move.

NEXT UP: The deciding Game 3, with Dallas traveling back to Sacramento to see which of these teams will tangle with the overall favorite and defending champion Philadelphia Phobia in the Finals.

Score sheet note: I tried something different here...using a red pen to mark everything in the fourth quarter.

MBA Season 44 Playoff Semifinals Game 2...Philadelphia at San Jose

Philadelphia 79, San Jose 77
Phobia wiggles off Amigos' hook, advances to finals
SAN JOSE -- The better team won, that much is apparent.

After ceding control to the home team Fighting Amigos for the first three quarters of the game, the defending champions showed their pedigree with a 30-point fourth, overcoming an 11-point deficit to win 79-77.

Philadelphia now awaits the winner of Sacramento vs. Dallas to see who their Finals opponent will be, with the Phobia holding home team advantage.

San Jose played brilliantly for three quarters, and, truth be told, shot an excellent 61.5 percent for the game. But the Phobia's relentless defensive pressure finally paid dividends in the fourth quarter, when the Fighting Amigos began yielding to the duress and started turning the ball over. Early in the fourth, multiple steals, throw-aways and charges saw an 11-point lead shrink to a 1-point advantage within 20 time units. The Phobia took their first lead of the game with 38 time units remaining on a trey by Sloppy Dollop.

San Jose wrested back the advantage with 33 left, then there were multiple ties until 18 ticks remained, when Philly took a 2-point lead.

The Phobia led 77-75 with 10 ticks left when Philly center, Carga Larga, operating down low, zipped one to teammate Colquitt Croix who popped in a clutch medium jumper that turned out to be the game winner.

Hunk R. Down's good short jumper was force-missed by Larga in a key defensive play, with the Phobia's Akbar Zagobia swooping in for the rebound.

A last time-unit dunk by Down was too little, too late.

The game marked the end of the YourMajesty Lumpkins-Dayshotta Leo era of success for San Jose, to say nothing of the third San Jose retiree, Pippi Pippistrelli.

PLAYER OF THE GAME
HUNK R. DOWN, the superb 7-foot center for San Jose, did everything humanly possible to get a victory for the Fighting Amigos in this game. He led everyone in scoring with 25 points (on the heels of an 18-point first game) and cleared the backboards for a game-high 7 rebounds, blocking 2 shots and dishing out 2 assists. He was 12 for 14 from the floor, with 4 slams, and 1 for 2 from the foul line. The fifth-year center got his team off on the right foot, getting 10 points and 5 rebounds in the first quarter alone. He kept them going with 3 consecutive medium jump shots in the third quarter. None of it, however, was enough.

Other 20-plus GVP performers
-- Colquitt Croix of Philadelphia led the fourth-quarter charge on the way to a 21-point game that led his victorious team in scoring. The Hall of Fame guard again led everyone in assists with 5, came up with a big steal during the furious comeback and canned what turned out to be the winning bucket.

-- Philadelphia center Carga Larga went at it hammer and tong with POG Hunk R. Down, almost matching him basket for basket with a 20-point performance that included a number of unstoppable moves around the basket. The 6-11, fourth-year man also grabbed 3 rebounds, dished 3 assists, had an important steal and an even more-important force-miss on Down near game's end.

-- Forward Egg Yolk Carpaccio scored just 9 points, but imposed his 6-10 frame mightily for San Jose, getting 6 rebounds, 3 blocked shots and 2 assists.

NEXT UP: Sacramento at Dallas for Game 2 in the other Semifinal series. The River Dogs, winners of Game 1, look to wrap up the other Finals position with a road victory, but the Demons and MVP Chip Battoe will have something to say about that.

Season 44 MBA Playoffs ... Semifinals Game 1...Dallas at Sacramento

Sacramento 87, Dallas 78
RIVER DOGS OUTLAST DEMONS IN PLAYOFF OPENER
SACRAMENTO -- The Sacramento River Dogs unleashed their league-leading defense early, then hung on to win the Semifinals playoff opener 87-78 against a formidable Dallas team.

It was the first playoff victory for Sacramento since Season 21.

The best-of-three series now moves to Dallas, where the Demons hope that their second-half play in the opener can be sustained for the entire elimination game.

Difference-making rookie point guard Great Gruncle Terry of Sacramento led the way in this win from the very beginning, both offensively and defensively. The 6-5 rookie had 20 points by halftime and was leading a defensive charge that held Dallas, the top scoring team in the MBA, to a total of 30 points at break. Part of that story was the inactive offense by the MBA's MVP Chip "the Crip" Battoe, who was held to just three shots and zero points in the first two quarters.

But Dallas came back strong in the second half, ringing up 26 points in the third and closing the gap, which had been 13 most of the game, to 5 points with 32 time units in the contest at crunch time.

Pap Smearz of Sacramento immediately hit a trey to get the margin back up to 8, but on the next time unit, Louie Subgum of Dallas also delivered a big-time trey to keep Dallas in the running.

A steal by Potus Obama followed by his medium jump shot dagger finally put things out of reach late, and Sacramento pocketed the "w".


PLAYER OF GAME
Although his regular season numbers did not match those of a few of his rookie contemporaries, Sacramento point guard GREAT GRUNCLE TERRY was the perfect fit for the River Dogs coming into this season. He ran the offense like a champ all season long and played superior defense as well. In this game, his first in the playoffs, the 6-5 Terry exploded for a game-high 29 points while still delivering a game-high 5 assists. Terry, who led his team in blocks this season, did so again in this game with 2 while pulling down 1 rebound. He destroyed Louie Subgum. As a scorer, Terry was 9 for 14 from the floor, including 4 for 6 from beyond the arc. (He had 3 treys all regular season). At the foul stripe he sank 7 of 9. Not a bad playoff debut.

Other 20-plus GVP performers
-- Sacramento shooting guard Potus Obama played an excellent, under-control game, scoring 16 points, tying for game-high in rebounds with 5, assisting 3 times and getting his team's only steal. He played Dallas' high-scoring guard Bingo Bango to a virtual standstill.

-- Sacramento small forward Doo-rag Dripp had his shot blocked 5 times by Chip Battoe, but still managed to score 19 points with a relentless attack while holding Battoe to 10 in the win. He added 2 rebounds.

-- Dallas shooting guard Bingo Bango led the Demons in scoring with 18 points while tying for game-high in rebounds with 5 and adding 2 assists.

-- In his first trip back to Sacramento since being traded, the second-year behemoth center of Dallas, 7-2 Gotoo Grot seriously out-played the league's All-MBA center Tree Fiddy. Grot scored 14 points, tied for top rebounding honors in the game with 5, had 2 assists, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot.

NEXT UP: It's win at home or stay home for the San Jose Fighting Amigos, who gave no indication in the opener that they could compete with the defending champion Philadelphia Phobia.

Semifinals Game 1 San Jose at Philadelphia

Philadelphia 95, San Jose 69
PHOBIA OBLITERATES SAN JOSE IN OPENER
PHILADELPHIA -- The defending champion Philadelphia Phobia left little doubt that it planned to live up to its "favored" status, annihilating the challenging San Jose Fighting Amigos 95-69 in the post-season opener before a packed house of delirious fans.

The game was close for one quarter, after which the home team ran rampant, both offensively and defensively, establishing a 9-point halftime lead that increased steadily thereafter.

Philly got big games from the usually moderate hand of forward Wawa Wewa (28 points) and three bench players, center Jefferson "Budweiser" McNuggets, guard Guy "the Eye" Clark and guard Chai Walla, who contributed 24 points to the romp connecting on all 10 of their combined shots.

A plethora of fouls for both teams led to four starters fouling out, two for each team, including both starting guards for the Phobia, but it seemed to matter little.

Philadelphia was, as expected, dominating defensively and shot 66.1 percent for the game. Among other stopgaps, the Phobia held San Jose to 0 for 10 shooting behind the arc, preventing two made treys in the third quarter, where the game turned in their favor.

The Semifinals now return to San Jose where the Fighting Amigos hope to regroup and perhaps scratch out a win. But this game was a shot to their collective ego.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTER
San Jose.....2...2...0...0 Total=4
Philadelphia 0...6...2...0 Total=8

TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTER
San Jose.....0...1...2...0 Total=3
Philadelphia 1...2...4...1 Total=8

TOPS IN POINTS PREVENTED
1. Mike Hunt, San Jose 4
2. Akbar Zagobia, Philadelphia 3
2. Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia 3

TOPS IN TURNOVERS CAUSED
1. Carga Larga, Philadelphia 3
3 with 2 each

PLAYER OF GAME
Fourth-year Philly forward WAWA WEWA pantsed his rookie counterpart Cam Caldwell, scoring a game-high 28 points, holding the playoff newcomer to 2 points and making him foul out on the first time unit of the fourth quarter. Wewa was spectacular, going 10 for 14 from the floor and plopping in a perfect 8 for 8 from the foul line. In his first post-season game for the Phobia, Wewa also pulled down 2 rebounds, dished 2 assists and blocked 1 shot.

Other 20-plus GVP performers
-- All-MBA point guard Colquitt Croix of Philadelphia scored just 13 points in a game where he eventually fouled out. But the MBA's newest Hall of Fame inductee still contributed big time with a game-high 5 assists, 2 rebounds and a steal.

-- Philly's veteran forward Sloppy Dollop has three championship rings and showed once more that he knows how to play his part in the big games. Dollop had 12 points, 5 rebounds and 3 assists in this Game 1 victory.

-- San Jose's retiring point guard YourMajesty Lumpkins had a solid game against a Hall of Fame guard, getting 16 points, 3 rebounds and tying for team-high with 4 assists before fouling out.

-- Hunk R. Down, the Fighting Amigos' 7-foot center did not disappoint in the playoff opener, getting a team-high 18 points amid a bevy of down-low moves that resulted in 7 slam dunks. He also added 3 rebounds and blocked a game-high 2 shots.

NEXT UP: The Dallas Demons (7-3) and their MVP forward Chip Battoe travel to Sacramento (7-3) where the nine-season playoff drought has finally come to an end. The River Dogs have not won a playoff game in their last four post-season trips and have been defeated 10 times in a row in the post-season. The last time they won a post-season game was Season 21. (The actual calendar date was October 7, 2002). They have been in seven previous playoffs, advancing just once, in Season 15. This series pits the league's best offense (Dallas) against the league's stingiest defense (Sacramento). They met once in the regular season, with defense dominating and Sacramento coming from an 8-point deficit in the fourth quarter to win 69-65. Battoe was the game's POG with 22 points, but Sacramento held the Demons to jut 50 percent shooting.