Although many changes have been made to the 10 MBA squads, it appears that the same four teams that made the playoffs last season are favorites to get back to the post-season in Season 56. Dallas, shooting for a historic fifth consecutive championship, is the overall favorite once again. But, of course, anything can happen in the topsy-turvy world of the MBA.
THE EAST
Dallas and Charleston look like playoff repeaters. But can Milwaukee stay out of the cellar and away from a 50 percent roll for changing cities? Third through fifth place are toss-ups.
1. DALLAS DEMONS...4-time defending champs...9-1 last season, 5-0 in playoffs
Winners of 30 of their last 31 games and their last 13 in a row indicates the pure dominance of this team. Lost longtime power forward Satan Israel to free agency but replaced him with promising second-year man Nick Kenpoop in trade with Charleston. Dallas runs the mini-gauntlet right out of the gate, opening the season with road games at Seattle and Charleston, both considered to be their top opponents. The guard tandem of Hall of Famer Juzan Djinn and Vicious Hick is one of the best of all time.
2. CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS...6-4 last season, 2-3 in playoffs, losing in Finals to Dallas
Youngest roster and starting lineup in league has been revamped to include concensus choice of top rookie, shooting guard Famichiki Whiskey and 6-10 power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho, a top three rookie who will give Charleston much-needed rebounding. Moving Kopi Luwak to the point should increase his scoring, and small forward Piping Plover is coming off back to back All-MBA seasons. Toppling Dallas, however, is a tall order, despite the obvious improvements to the Mountaineers.
3. PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA...5-5 last season, fourth place
Lost both starting guards from last season (Dick Papers to Los Angeles and Splash Gordon to retirement). Johnny Jazzhands as a starting guard sets off warning bells. But the front line of center Brother Jasper and forwards Leonard Pinth Garnel and Phillip Mianus (the latter a newcomer) is solid.
4. MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS...2-8 last season, last place
Can they stop the unhealthy trend of three consecutive last-place finishes, all with 2-8 records? Front line totally revamped and should score more, but lost defense with J.J. Gargantuan leaving, and only Los Angeles yielded more points last season.
5. OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS...5-5 last season, third place
Window of contending seems over. Worse at two spots in starting lineup. Could maybe rise to third.
Tyler picks
1. Dallas
2. Charleston
3. Milwaukee
4. Oklahoma City
5. Philadelphia
THE WEST
Seattle and San Jose look like the class of the West, with the last three spots up for grabs. But this division always comes up with at least one surprise team every season.
1. SEATTLE STAMPEDE...7-3 last season, first place, 0-2 in playoffs
Had the best regular season defense last season and improved it with addition of top defending power forward Kevin Duran-Duran via trade with Sacramento. Ranked sixth on offense, and adding only Duran-Duran (9.6 ppg last season, 53.4 %) doesn't seem to help there. But that is a strong front line with Duran-Duran, center Chochky Galumpkus and third-year star Erik A. Crocidale. They get tested immediately with a season opening cross-over at home against mighty Dallas.
2. SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS...7-3 last season, second place, 0-2 in playoffs.
By far the oldest roster in the MBA. They need to win now. Toward that end, added much-needed rim protector in ancient Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan via free agency and talented but untested forward L.S. Island in trade with Philadelphia. Can guard Vinny Zazeech and forward Eddie Creamer repeat their All-MBA seasons of last campaign? Point guard Donny Dupons is also a key.
3. LOS ANGELES BIG ONE...1-9 last season, last place
Added two solid veterans to starting lineup in guard Dick Papers and forward Turk Attaturk. They join the explosive guard Pinky Toe and defensive center Chat Bot as starters. Power forward, 6-10 Philibuck Davia is a question mark.This team should be able to avoid last place, and could even get second.
4. GILLETTE HUMPS...6-4 last season, third place
Only one newcomer added to the roster, but he's very promising. Rookie guard Maboroshi No Hotcake replaces veteran Joey Shamadu, Jr. to run the point. But weakness at forwards will be hard to overcome.
5. SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS...2-8 last season, fourth place
League's worst offense replaced power forward Kevin Duran-Duran with Dallas stalwart Satan Israel, but they will struggle to get out of the cellar.
Tyler picks
1. Seattle
2. San Jose
3. Los Angeles
4. Gillette
5. Sacramento
ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS(from Dave)
Guard...Hall of Famer Juzan Djinn of Dallas
Guard...Rookie Famichiki Whiskey of Charleston
Center...Chochky Galumpkus of Seattle
Forward...Satan Israel of Sacramento
Forward...Hall of Famer Crentis Dentist of Oklahoma City
ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS (from Tyler)
Guard...Juzan Djinn, Dallas
Guard...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles
Center...Biggus Dickus, Dallas
Forward...Satan Israel, Sacramento
Forward...Erik A. Crocidale, Seattle
MVP
Center Chochky Galumpkus of Oklahoma City (Dave)
Guard Pinky Toe of Los Angeles (Tyler)
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
Guard Famichiki Whiskey of Charleston (both Dave and Tyler)
ACTIVE HALL OF FAMERS ENTERING SEASON 56
17 awards…Juzan Djinn, Dallas guard
14 awards…J.J. Gargantuan, San Jose
center
13 awards…Crentis Dentist, Oklahoma
City forward
ACTIVE PLAYERS CLOSEST TO THE HALL
9 awards…Chochky Galumpkus, Seattle
center
8 awards…Kopi Luwak, Charleston guard
8 awards…Pete “the Steakman” Marzano,
Dallas forward
7 awards…Satan Israel, Sacramento
River Dogs forward
7 awards…Biggus Dickus, Dallas center
7 awards…Al A. Orden, Dallas forward
6 awards…Eddie “the Milkman” Creamer,
San Jose forward
5 awards…Flufferton Springs,
Philadelphia guard
5 awards…Vinny Zazeech, San Jose guard
5 awards…Vicious Hick, Dallas guard
5 awards…Johnny Bananas, Milwaukee
center
TEN OR MORE SEASONS ENTERING SEASON 56
19 seasons…J.J. Gargantuan, San Jose
center
16 seasons…Al A. Orden, Dallas forward
14 seasons…Hurricane Furrwizard, Los
Angeles guard
13 seasons…Chai Walla, cut pile guard
12 seasons…Eddie “the Milkman”
Creamer, San Jose forward
12 seasons…Phillip Mamouf-Wifarts, cut
pile guard
11 seasons…Nicholas Pickles, cut pile
forward
11 seasons…Charles “F.P.” Pompeo, cut
pile guard
11 seasons…Ray “Big Ticket” Natuzzi,
cut pile guard
10 seasons…Joe Momsawhore, San Jose
guard
10 seasons…Dick Papers, Los Angeles
guard
10 seasons…Jospah Gecan, San Jose forward
10 seasons…Tootie Heathcliffe, cut
pile forward
10 seasons…Itsaka Numdrum, cut pile
guard
10 seasons…Vito Andolini, Oklahoma
City forward
NEXT UP: The Season opener, with Oklahoma City at Philadelphia
The first bracket's FEATURED GAME follows, with Dallas taking on Seattle in a battle of preseason favorites to win their respective divisions.
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