SEASON 47 PREVIEW AND PREDICTIONS

 

SEASON 47 TEAM PREVIEWS

EAST DIVISION (All Predictions Unanimous)

1st-- DALLAS DEMONS

Last Season:  First place, 9-1 (5-1 in playoffs) Champions

Last Time Missed Playoffs : Season 43

Last Title: Last season

Biggest Additions: Veteran forward Goodbar “Muddy” Masterson a solid addition

Biggest Losses: Second-leading scorer and league’s second-best 3-point shooter at guard, Bingo Bango (14.6 ppg) 55.6% from 3 with 25 made) retired.

Summary: Loss of Bango will hurt as far as scoring and rebounding goes, but he turned the ball over a lot too. Will not be as deep at guard, but will be deeper at forward with the addition of Muddy Masterson. The most important thing is that they still have Hall of Fame forward Chip “the Crip” Battoe who has four MVPs in four seasons. He does, however, have two chinks in his formidable armour…being prone to injury and a loss of passing ability. But they’re still favorites.

 

2nd-- MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS

Last Season: Fourth place, 5-5

Last Playoff Appearance: Season 40

Last Title: Season 18

Biggest Additions: Added two pieces to starting lineup, talented backup center Sabado Gigante in trade with Charleston and promising second-year forward Wardy Joubert III (10.3 ppg, 4.4 rpg, 12 blocks) in draft via Seattle.

Biggest Losses: Third-year center Papa Popcorn (10.1 ppg, 5.1 rpg, 17 blocks) to Charleston in Gigante trade. Forward Faku Sosume (10.8 ppg, 5 steals) to Charleston in same trade.

Summary: Milwaukee trades rim-protecting defense in Popcorn for potential big-time scorer at center in Gigante. It’s been a long drought since last playoff appearance and even longer since last title, but Greyhounds fans are catching post-season fever. Guard Lord Lannigan Hobo and his two consecutive All-MBA seasons (18.5 and 18.6 ppg) leads the way. They need Fatty McButterpants to snap out of his slumping season from a year ago.

 

3rd-- PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA

Last Season: Third place, 5-5

Last Playoff Appearance: Season 44

Last Title: Season 43

Biggest Additions: Rookie guard Dick Papers, who will run the point.

Biggest Losses: Hall of Fame point guard and league-leading scorer Colquitt Croix (19.6 ppg, 66.7% from 3-Point Land with 36 made)’

Summary: Philadelphia will sport the same lineup as last season with the exception of rookie Papers for one of the all-time greats at point guard. Papers looks capable but won’t score like Croix, so one of the four returning starters (or all) will have to pick up the loss of his offense.

 

4th-- CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS

Last Season: Second place, 6-4 (1-2 in playoffs)

Last Playoff Miss: Season 44

Last Title: Season 42

Biggest Additions: Fifth-year guard Hurricane Furrwizard (16.5 ppg) in draft via Oklahoma City, forward Faku Sosume (10.8 ppg, 5 steals) and 7-2 center Papa Popcorn (10.1 ppg, 5.1 rpg, 17 blocks), last two in trade with Milwaukee.

Biggest Losses: All-MBA forward and leading scorer Flip Testerton (16.1 ppg, 5.9 rpg) to retirement. Point guard Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo (15.0 ppg, 25 3s, 3.2 apg, 3.9 rpg) to retirement.

Summary: Mountaineers, always in playoff picture, will have a long haul to get there this season with loss of two of their best scorers. Ball movement with four good passers will hopefully get good shots.

 

Last-- KANSAS CITY BASTARD ANGELS

Last Season: Last place, 1-9

Last Playoff Appearance: Never

Last Title: Never

Biggest Addition: Rookie guard Joe Momsawhore is an exciting player who can score from everywhere, but is overly aggressive on defense and highly prone to fouling.

Biggest Losses: Rookie of the Year, top scorer on team and first franchise player to make an All Star Game, Freddy Chepuzzo (14.8 ppg, 68.0% shooting) lost to free agency. Starting point guard Con Gusto (10.0 ppg) retired.

Summary: Too much lost, not enough gained. They’ll be lucky to win a game this season and will be rolling for a new city at year’s end.

 

 

WEST DIVISION (All Predictions Unanimous)

1S 1st--SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS

Last Season:  First place, 9-1 (3-4, lost in Finals)

Last Playoff Miss:  Season 45

Last Title:  Season 44

Biggest Addition: None—same exact roster

Biggest Losses: None—same exact roster

Summary:  Unprecedented fourth consecutive season in which this team will feature the exact same starting lineup and even more rare, the exact same team roster. Against all odds, the R-Dogs, with the league’s oldest roster, once more saw three of their four older players improve along with their point guard leader Great Gruncle Terry. Almost a cinch to make the playoffs, they will have competition this season for the West Division’s top spot in San Jose.  Golden Age of this franchise continues as they seek another championship.

 

     2nd--SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS

Last Season:  Last place, 2-8

Last Playoff Appearance:  Season 44

Last Title: Season 25

Biggest Additions:  Top-rated rookie Jesse Shershot, plus last season’s Rookie of the Year Freddy Chepuzzo (14.8 ppg, 68% shooter).

Biggest Losses:  None

Summary: MBA’s youngest roster emerges from two-year coma of last-place finishes with enough talent to contend for first in the West and possibly, a championship. Getting Shershot was the big prize, but nabbing Chepuzzo means that the Amigos will combine the last two Rookie of the Year winners (Mister Methane the other) at the shooting guard spot and negate both of their foul-prone ways.  The front line is not spectacular but solid. Will be a 3-point shower.  Faces toughest cross-over opponents.

 

3rd-- LOS ANGELES BIG ONE

Last Season:  Fourth place, 3-7

Last Playoff Appearance:  Season 45

Last Title:  Season 45

Biggest Addition:  Big-time rebounding rookie Sheetrock Hudson.

Biggest Losses: No starters, top sub guard Peeshie Pooshie

Summary:  If Dr. Marcus Brody (13.4 ppg) stays healthy and Hudson lives up to rookie hype, they could squeeze pass San Jose for playoff spot.  Had to resort to cut pile for starting center (Jonk Vanderdonk) for second consecutive season.  May have trouble holding off Oklahoma City.

 

4.  4th-- OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS

Last Season: Second place, 5-5

Last Playoff Miss: Season 44

Last Title: Season 41

Biggest Additions:  Veteran point guard passing wizard Red Reparee, shooting guard Peeshie Pooshie and rookie forward Entha Shortzone will all start.

Biggest Losses:  Guard Hurricane Furrwizard (16.5 ppg) to free agency, forward Peter Pizza (12.8 ppg) to old age and cutpile, back-up center supreme Willie Carry McCoffee to free agency

Summary: Like L.A., turned over half their roster, mostly with trades, to get an outside shot at playoff contention.  Miraculously lured second-year center star Chochky Galumpkus (12.8 ppg) back to squad from free agency pool. Counted out last two seasons, made playoffs both times.

 

LAST-- SEATTLE STAMPEDE

Last Season: Third place, 5-5

Last Playoff Appearance:  Season 42

Last Title: Season 37

Biggest Additions:  Defensive genius center Willie Carry McCoffee and rookie guard Franswa Perfecto will add depth, but likely neither will start.

Biggest Losses:  Both starting forwards, Pietro Destroyer (10.9 ppg) and Wardy Joubert III (10.3 ppg).

Summary:  Unsettled lineup will take time to find right combo. Hurting at forward, strong at center.

 

ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS

Guard – Lord Lannigan Hobo, Milwaukee (unanimous)

Guard—Jesse Shershot, San Jose (unanimous)

Center—Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City (Tyler), Tree Fiddy, Sacramento (Dave)

Forward—Chip Battoe, Dallas (unanimous)

Forward—Sheetrock Hudson, Los Angeles  (Tyler), Doo-rag Dripp, Sacramento (Dave)

 

LEAGUE MVP

Jesse Shershot, San Jose (Dave)

Chip Battoe, Dallas (Tyler)

 

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

Jesse Shershot, San Jose (unanimous)

 

MBA Veterans (10 or more seasons)

14^th—Shag Bark, Milwaukee (oldest rostered player)

14^th—Buzz Kill (cut pile)

12^th—Louie Subgum, Dallas (oldest starter)

11^th—Stu Gatz, Seattle

11^th—Pap Smearz, Sacramento

11^th—Cremeofsum Younguy, Sacramento

10^th—J.J. Gargantuan, Charleston (Hall of Famer)

10^th—Baskets Weaver, Philadelphia

 

 

ACTIVE HALL OF FAME PLAYERS

Chip Battoe, Dallas (15 awards)

J.J. Gargantuan, Charleston (11 awards)

 

HALL OF FAME WATCH (5 or more awards)

9 awards—Pap Smearz, Sacramento

8 awards—Tree Fiddy, Sacramento

6 awards—Dr. Marcus Brody, Los Angeles

5 awards—Lannigan Lord Hobo, Milwaukee

5 awards—Potus Obama, Sacramento

 

LONGEST CONSECUTIVE GAME STREAKS

90 games—Tree Fiddy, Sacramento

60 games—Brownie McShytles, Philadelphia

60 games—Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia

50 games—Potus Obama, Sacramento

50 games—Doo-rag Dripp, Sacramento

50 games—Chutcher Mouthchair, Philadelphia

 

 

NEXT UP: The Season begins with West favorite Sacramento at Oklahoma City

Followed by:

Los Angeles at Seattle

Kansas City at East favorite Dallas in a squash game

Milwaukee at Charleston

 Featured Game: Philadelphia at San Jose in big cross-over

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Season 47 Trades

 

Looking at the Season 47 Draft and Improvements

R=rookie

PP=prime pick

Numbers next to prime pick are when prime pick was taken and how many rolls of the dice it took to get the player eventually chosen...1 or 6 needed to get named player, so higher the number the worse choice the team is getting.

Using Tyler’s chart and my draft tracking info as well as Tyler’s projection of the winners, here’s more commentary.

1. San Jose—Snagged the prize of the draft with prime pick selection of guard Jesse Sherwood, who scored 39 points in the rookies vs. free agents game. He will pair with Mister Methane at guard to give this team a circus-like 3-point shooting gunner group. The Fighting Amigos also picked up free agent and last season’s Rookie of the Year Freddy Chepuzzo with their first pick (second overall). Both he and Methane (another Rookie of the Year) were prone to foul trouble. Together they are an imposing duo to pair with Sherwood. San Jose is now a championship contender.

Dave Grade: A+

2. Oklahoma City — Decimated by the loss of five free agents, they lured back star center Chochky Galumpkus with the first prime pick in the draft, then got point guard passing great veteran Red Repartee with their second pick. They emerged better than expected but not good enough to make the playoffs.

Dave Grade: A+

3. Los Angeles — Their three picks nabbed the three best rookie forwards in the draft, with rebounding machine Sheetrock Hudson the main prize. Had to dig in cut pile for starting center, getting Jonk Vanderdonk, who is serviceable.

Dave Grade: A-

4. Philadelphia — Replaced Hall of Fame guard Colquitt Croix with rookie guard Dick Papers, who should be good but is still a downgrade.

Dave Grade: B

5. Milwaukee — Best pick was prime pick second-year forward Wardy Joubert III who will give Greyhounds one of the biggest front lines in MBA history. Will is be enough to finally get them into the playoffs?

Dave Grade: B-

6. Charleston — Hit hard by two starting lineup retirements, they did better with their random pick (guard Hurricane Furrwizard) than they did with their prime pick guard Charles Pompeo, who took seven rolls of the dice to attain. Resorted to cut pile draft for old man Shag Bark to fill out starting lineup at forward to replace All-MBA Flip Testerton.

Dave Grade: B

7. Dallas — Defending champs picking last did OK with just two picks in that they snagged solid veteran forward Goodbar “Muddy” Masterson with their prime pick. Will he push Tiger Masterson for starting spot. At worst he’s a fine backup. Demons now have three Mastersons on their roster, the most ever by one team, Meat Pants Masterson being the third.

Dave Grade: B-

8. Sacramento — Veteran club cut both of its draft picks and will go after title with exact same roster as last season. Their big gains came in improvements. (See below).

Dave Grade: F

9. Seattle — Team started the draft with the league’s All-MBA center, Seven Castanza, then proceeded to use all three draft picks on centers, including prime pick, which netted them defensive whiz Willie Carry McCoffee. Will he dislodge Castanza? This team is a mess.

Dave Grade: C

10. Kansas City — After losing top player Freddy Chepuzzo to free agency, had horrendous draft. May not even win a game. Their second prime pick doomed them when it took seven rolls of the cube of chance to secure rookie guard Joe Momsawhore when they needed someone like Jesse Sherwood, who went on the very next pick to San Jose. They will be rolling to see if they move to another city after this season. Another mess-of-a-team.

Dave Grade: D

 

Improvement/Regression Notes

Kansas City--More regressions than improvements.

San Jose--Both young starting forwards, Greenbeard and Creamer, improved somewhat, while big draft get Freddy Chepuzzo added more 3-point shooting to his arsenal, the positive/negative aspect of which will be determined.

Los Angeles--Nothing major for starters.

Milwaukee--Starting center Papa Popcorn slight improvement. Some nice bench improvement.

Seattle--Prime draft pick Willie Carry McCoffee got somewhat worse, but not a lot. All-MBA center Seven Castanza better on the dribble. Potatoes O'Gratin became a better passer and can now play the point and shoot more treys. Ancient forward Stu Gatz still getting better with slight rebound improvement.

Philadelphia--Have to look really close to see any improvements.

Oklahoma City--Draft picks Chochky Galumpkus (a returning player from free agency) will pass better and excellent point guard passer Red Reparee got significantly worse on the dribble.

Charleston--Starting forward Frog Morton improved twice against the dribble and once against the pass, making him a significantly better ball hawk. Backup center Sabado Gigante continues to get better while languishing on the bench behind Hall of Famer J.J. Gargantuan, who ages gracefully.

Sacramento--Standing pat with strong veteran lineup, they bucked the odds by improving overall instead of declining. Four of the five starters got plusses, the biggest coming at guards where Great Gruncle Terry and Potus Obama both improved significantly. Best defensive team last season just got better. Will it be enough to claim the big prize?

Dallas--Biggest story is the passing decline of Hall of Fame forward Chip Battoe, giving him a chink in the armour as he enters his fifth season. He's still easily the best forward in the draft and a favorite to garner his fifth straight regular season MVP. But above average defenders will be able to take advantage of his passing liability to the point where he may have to move to power forward. Having said that, anyone would still grab him up if they could. Other Dallas improvements came largely in bench players. Ancient point guard Louie Subgum got worse, but not significantly. Bottom line, Dallas is still the team to beat.

Introducing the Class of '47 Rookies ... with rankings, including free agents

 Rating the Season 47

 Rookies and Free Agents

   The last of the 16 rookies made for Season 47 turned out to be a Hall of Fame-caliber guard by the name of Jesse Shershot.

    The 6-2 guard will be a prize for any team that snares him, as he is not only the tallest guard in the draft, but the best shot who can score from every zone, including 3-Point Land, and also plays better than average defense.

   He was the creation of Tyler Masterson's significant other, Jesse Sherwood, who was handed the keys to Frankenstein's laboratory by Dave Masterson for the player named after her. 

   She responded with flying colors and turned the draft from drab to a compelling upcoming event.

So, without further adieu, here's the rookies and free agents, grouped by league owners Dave and Tyler.

Dave Rookie Rankings

Excellent Rookie Guards

Jesse Shershot

Dick Papers

Excellent Rookie Forwards

Sheetrock Hudson

Good Rookie Guards

Buddy "Stankpig" Pigglesworth

Franswa Perfecto

Joe Momsawhore

Good Rookie Forwards

Jospah Gecan

Entha Shortzone

Vito Andolini

Nombre Oculto

Good Rookie Centers

K-ream Skyhook

Taco Toosdae

Cut-pile bound rookies

Guard-- Boney Skelletrino

Guard-- Itsaka Numdrum

Forward-- Tootie Heathcliffe

Center-- Doli Doli Firenze

Tyler Rookies Rankings (based on 1-5 stars system)

5-Star Rookie Guards

Jesse Shershot

4-Star Rookie Guards

Dick Papers

3-Star Rookie Guards

Joe Momsawhore

2 1/2-Star Rookie Guards

Franswa Perfecto

2-Star Rookie Guards

Buddy "Stankpig" Pigglesworth

1 1/2-Star Rookie Guards

Boney Skelletrino

Itsaka Numdrum

4-Star Rookie Forwards

Sheetrock Hudson

3-Star Rookie Forwards

Entha Shortzone

2 1/2-Star Rookie Forwards

Vito Andolini

2-Star Rookie Forwards

Jospah Gecan

1 1/2-Star Rookie Forwards

Tootie Heathcliffe

Nombre Oculto

2 1/2-Star Rookie Centers

K-ream Skyhook

2-Star Rookie Centers

Taco Toosdae

Doli Doli Firenze

Dave Free Agent Rankings 

Excellent Free-Agent Guards

Freddy Chepuzzo

Very Good Free-Agent Guards

Hurricane Furrwizard

Good Free-Agent Guards

Red Reparee

Borderline Good Free-Agent Guards

Tweedle D. Dee

Questionable Free-Agent Guards

Charlest "FP" Popmeo

Very Good Free-Agent Forwards

Goodbar "Muddy" Masterson

Wardy "Big Wood" Joubert III

Excellent Free-Agent Centers

Chochky Galumpkus

Willie Carry McCoffee

Leaning Toward Cut-Pile Free-Agent Centers

Asiago Cheez

SEASON 47 DRAFT TO BE HELD ON THANKSGIVING DAY

Season 47 Free Agents

10 PLAYERS DECLARE FOR 

FREE AGENCY 

OKLAHOMA CITY WIPED OUT

While defending champion Dallas and MBA finals club Sacramento retained all of the available players on their rosters, Oklahoma City, one of the other two playoff teams from last season, was decimated with free agent declarations.

Five of the 10 Lariats, including star centers Chochky Galumpkus and Willie Carry McCoffee, along with All Star Game guard Hurricane Furrwizard will all be added to the upcoming draft from Oklahoma City.

Kansas City suffered a big blow as well. It's only loss was last season's Rookie of the Year, guard Freddy Chepuzzo.

Milwaukee lost back-up guard Red Reparee, which negated the only trade consumated by the league's two owners, whereby Reparee would have gone to San Jose in exchange for a number of draft picks by both teams.

Fully half the teams made it through the free agency period unscathed with 10 players being added to the 16 rookies. This means that there will be 26 players in the draft. As of now, each team will get at least two picks, and all but the four playoff teams from last season getting a third pick.

Wrapping up Season 46

Other Notes

--- only one coach fired following Season 46...L.A. cans Dorf Dingman, hires Naceg Gecan

-- in team vs. team all-time records...

1. only team Seattle has a winning record against is Kansas City

2. Milwaukee's only losing record is against Philly 54-56

3. LA/Houston has winning record against all but Milwaukee and Philly

4. Philadelphia is only team to have a winning record against everyone

5. Dallas adds Charleston and Oklahoma City to the teams they have winning records against all time.

NEXT UP: Free agent declarations for Season 47

 

Season 46 Playoff Summary

 

MVP OF THE PLAYOFFS...SEASON 46

Fourth year Hall of Fame forward Chip Battoe snagged his first Playoff MVP award in his first MBA Finals, tying two blocked shots records and leading everyone in scoring. In leading his Dallas Demons to the Season 46 Championship, Battoe also earned his first championship ring, giving him 15 total awards on his card (and counting). 

Battoe is the first forward to win Playoff MVP since Season 38 when Hall of Famer Art Vandalay won it for Chicago's last championship team. 

Battoe joins five other Dallas Demon players who have won the Playoff MVP award. They are:

Bingo Bango...Season 42

Mamadou Zongo...Season 28

Joey Two-Tones...Season 23

Tersio Tataruga...Season 21

Shooter Flatch...Season 20

The 15 awards on Battoe's card moves him into a tie for 14th place all time with Doc Watson and Cam Bodia in the Hall of Fame rankings, moving him past:

14 awards

Colquitt Croix

Cheetos Jones

Dan Mann

13 awards

Raisin Sport

Guru Gannon

Tommy Zoop

12 awards

Bill Rustler

Rip Slamjam

11 awards

Ching-Chong Chung

Tom "The Bomb" Kondla

J.J. Gargantuan (still active)

Shucks Oyster

Gato Do Mato

Beezow Bop-Bop

Battoe started the season with 10 awards in three seasons and captured all 5 of the awards that he could possibly obtain in Season 46. The two that had eluded him prior to this season were the Playoff MVP award and the championship ring. In winning those two this season, he now joins an elite list of just 5 players who have every award possible on their cards. They are:

PLAYERS WHO HAVE WON EVERY AWARD POSSIBLE

CURLY HOGBOTTOM

SAGITTAL OCCLUSAL

HRUNDI V. BAKSHI

NAF NAF

CHIP BATTOE

(Of that elite group, only two players...Naf Naf and Sagittal Occlusal also added the MVP of the All Star Game to their career laurels, with Naf Naf winning it twice).

The Newest Hall of Fame member (51st)

He had to sit one season, but forward Baba Brinkman has earned Veterans Committee status in the MBA Hall of Fame, where he will fit into the picture just ahead of Mable Reed and just behind Marshall Stax. 

The 51st member of the Hall, Brinkman began his career in Dallas as a backup, but found his first true home in Milwaukee, where he became an immediate hit as a top-flight scorer who would lead his clubs in points per game 5 times. He made 7 All Star Games and earned a spot on the All-MBA team in his third campaign when he had career highs in points (19.6) and rebounds (5.1). Versatility was a strength for Brinkman, who also excelled in steals, blocked shots and free throwing. Despite a penchant for unleashing innacurate 3-pointers, he finished his career with a shooting percentage of 64.4 percent. He spent his final three seasons in Los Angeles, culminating in a Season 45 championship in his last go-round, the first title for The Big One. 

TEAM PLAYOFF STATS FOR CHAMPS FROM DALLAS

 

Season 46 Finals Game 4...Sacramento at Dallas

Dallas 71, Sacramento 53

DALLAS DEMONS ROMP TO MBA TITLE 

DALLAS -- The Dallas Demons, led by Hall of Fame star forward Chip "the Crip" Battoe and unsung veteran guard Meat Pants Masterson, ran roughshod over the visiting Sacramento River Dogs 71-53 to capture the Season 46 MBA championship.

The title is the fourth in the franchise's history and the first since Season 28, coming in the team's fifth playoff appearance in the last six seasons.

At no time in this game did the Demons look particularly threatened by Sacramento, who they handled 3  to 1 in the Finals. Starting with a 22-12 lead after the first quarter, Dallas hounded every pass and dribble by the River Dogs, limiting them to just 53 points in the entire contest after allowing 80-plus points to their opponent in the previous two games. They also held the R-Dogs to just 44 percent shooting.

Dallas coach Country Slaughter, the longest tenured leader in the MBA at 30 seasons, made a key move at the urging of franchise director Tyler Masterson with the removal of longtime star Bingo Bango from the starting lineup in favor of Meat Pants Masterson. The thought of nepotism was removed when the sixth-season shooting guard scored a game-high 20 points.

The only hiccup in the dominance of Dallas in this game came in the fourth quarter when, like a nearly burned out light bulb, the visitors played their brightest basketball, cutting the 15-point lead to 10. But they came no closer as the Demons, to the delight of their Guiness-guzzling fans (who spilled their quaff all over each other) regained control and coasted home by an 18-point margin. The victory kept Dallas unbeaten with an 8-0 home record for Season 46.

Previous Dallas championships came in Seasons 20, 21 and 28. This must be considered the second golden age of the Demons, but they will still have to go some to surpass the first, which consisted of two straight titles followed by two more Finals appearances. But with Battoe on the team and the emergence of Meat Pants Masterson, they would have to be the Vegas odds-on favorite at this time going into Season 47.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Who else but CHIP "THE CRIP" BATTOE, Hall of Fame forward for the champion Dallas Demons, would you expect to lead the way in the title game? Battoe tied his own playoff record for blocked shots in one game by slapping away 9 in this game, something he has now done twice in this series and three times overall. (He fell just one blocked shot short of the playoff record 37 set by Dallas Hall of Fame center Max Payne the last time the Demons won it all in Season 28). Battoe had 16 points in this game on 8 for 14 shooting to go with his 9 blocks, grabbing 3 rebounds and dishing out 2 assists. It remains to be seen whether he has earned the MVP of the Playoffs award, the last available honor that has thus far escaped him in his four MBA seasons. He scored the other such honor in this game, securing a championship ring. Going into the season, he was one of just 7 Hall of Fame players who did not have a ring.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Starting his first game in a six-season career, Dallas shooting guard Meat Pants Masterson responded with a game-high 20 point performance, which included three long bombs as he totally out-played his opposite, Potus Obama. Masterson also added 1 rebound, 2 assists and 2 blocked shots, assuring Dallas fans that the loss of Bango will not be so keenly felt in the seasons to come.

-- The game's high scorer in the previous two contests, Sacramento center Tree Fiddy chose to be a distributor in this one, passing out a game-high (tied) 4 dimes while scoring just 8 points. He also led everyone in the game in rebounds with 6, while registering 1 steal and 1 blocked shot.

-- Despite being guarded by the best defensive forward in league history, Sacramento's Doo-rag Dripp turned in his second consecutive 16-point game, leading his team in scoring. The relentless sixth-year player also led the R-Dogs in blocked shots with 3 while pulling down 5 rebounds and doling out 2 assists.

NEXT UP: The announcement of the Playoff MVP and the tallying of the playoff leaders.

MBA Finals...Game 3...Dallas at Sacramento

 Sacramento 80, Dallas 70

RIVER DOGS BARK BIG TO STAY ALIVE

SACRAMENTO--Sacramento gave its Dog Pound faithful something to howl about tonight, besting powerful Dallas 80-70 to stay alive in this Finals series 2 games to 1.

The R-Dogs used a high-tempo third-quarter to break open a close game, out-scoring the visiting Demons 27-20, with Player of the Game Tree Fiddy potting two long treys in the period, sending the home team fans into a mongrel frenzy.

The teams now return to Dallas, where the Demons, unbeaten at home all season, will attempt to wrap up the championship.

Shooting guard Potus Obama of Sacramento shot for shit in the victory, going just 3 for 17, but made up for his goose-like eye by tying the playoff record for steals in one game, pilfering 6.

Meanwhile, league MVP and Hall of Famer Chip Battoe of Dallas had an off night with just 11 points, but still managed a game-high 7 blocked shots.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Sacramento's favorite son, center TREE FIDDY led the game in scoring for the second contest in a row, pouring in 26 points to exceed his total of 24 from the previous game. The 6-8 Fiddy out-quicked the lumbering 7-2 behemoth GoToo Grot of Dallas to go 12 for 15 from the floor, popping in the aforementioned pair of huge treys. He tied Grot for game-high rebounding honors with 7 while leading his team in blocked shots with 3.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Bucking for Playoff MVP, third-year Sacramento point guard Great Gruncle Terry dominated his man Louie Subgum, scoring 18 points, tying Subgum for most assists in the game with 5 and pulling down 4 rebounds.

-- Almost removed from the starting lineup prior to this game, Sacramento forward Doo-rag Dripp responded by out-playing Chip Battoe, despite getting his shot blocked at least 6 more times. Dripp was able to play a good chunk of the game with Battoe on the bench and came away with 16 points, 5 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal and 2 blocked shots.

-- The center position was a point of focus for both teams, with the man in the middle leading both clubs in scoring. GoToo Grot of Dallas led the way for his team with 20 points while tying for game-high in rebounds with 7, blocking 2 shots and adding 1 assist. 

-- Dallas power forward Tiger Masterson has increased his scoring output every game in the finals, peaking with the 19 points he scored in this loss. Masterson also contributed 5 rebounds and 1 assist.

The Steals Record-holders for a single playoff game (the all-time record is 7)

Season 46...Potus Obama, Sacramento vs. Dallas...6 steals

Season 30...Boone Doggle, Philadelphia vs. San Jose...6 steals

Season 27...Moxie Mamalucco, Charleston vs. Oklahoma City...6 steals

Season 23...Joey Two-Tones, Dallas vs. Philadelphia...6 steals

(The all-time record for steals in a game is shared by Moxie Mamalucco of Sacramento in Season 33 and Hall of Famer Dan Mann of Milwaukee in Season 12...both with 7)

MBA Finals Game 2...Sacramento at Dallas

DALLAS 83, SACRAMENTO 82

DEMONS WIN WITH NO TIME LEFT 

DALLAS--Dallas Demons' substitute rookie guard Otto Palindrome sank two free throws with no time left on the clock to give his team an 83-82 victory in this extraordinary Game 2 Finals. Palindrome, playing for the injured Bingo Bango, took a final-time-unit medium jumper which would have won the game had it gone in. The shot missed, but Sacramento guard Great Gruncle Terry fouled the shooter to set up the heroics by the rookie, who was mobbed by teammates and Demonic fans alike when the second shot swished through, giving the home team a 2-0 Finals lead.

It was the second consecutive barn-burning Finals contest between these two powerhouse teams, with Dallas winning the first-game squeaker by 2 points. There was a lot more scoring this time, but the contest resembled Game 1 in that the Demons led for a vast majority of the game. Sacramento entered the final quarter down 6, finally getting the 82-81 lead with three time units remaining before Potus Obama rushed a shot to give Dallas a final opportunity for the win.

The win by Dallas puts them one victory away from claiming their first championship since Season 28. The Demons got 27 points off their bench, 15 coming from veteran back-up guard Meat Pants Masterson, who, along with Palindrome, manned the guard position down the stretch for the home team.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Getting his second POG in as many Finals games, Hall of Fame forward CHIP "THE CRIP" BATTOE was the difference-maker, as expected, coming through with a team-high 21 points and a playoff-record-tying 9 blocked shots. The fourth-season wonder is going for his first Finals MVP award, the only MBA honor that has thus far eluded him, along with his first championship ring. Doo-rag Dripp of Sacramento will be seeing his balls being swatted in his Chipster nightmares. In this game, Battoe was 9 for 12 from the floor (1 for 2 from deep), going 2 for 2 from the foul line and adding 2 rebounds.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Before fouling out late in the fourth quarter, Dallas point guard Louie Subgum contributed 12 points, a team-high 4 assists, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot to his team's humongous win. 

--Up until his last time-unit foul, Sacramento point guard Great Gruncle Terry had yet another outstanding playoff game for the River Dogs. Terry directed the offense with a game-high 7 assists, scoring 12 points, adding 1 blocked shot.

-- Sacramento shooting guard Potus Obama put in 16 points, grabbed 4 rebounds, had 4 assists, blocked 2 shots and got 1 steal in the loss.

-- 6-8 River Dogs center Tree Fiddy dominated the 7-2 GoToo Grot in this game, scoring a game-high 24 points with quick-release shots down low. Fiddy added 3 rebounds.

-- Pap Smearz of Sacramento was his usual efficient self at the power forward position, scoring 13 poiints, grabbing 3 boards, dishing 4 assists, blocking 1 shot and swiping 1 steal.

NEXT UP: The teams return to Sacramento, where the River Dogs will try to find some kind of way to cope with Battoe and put a game in the win column before this Finals is over. Tyler noted that this Finals resembles the Season 44 Finals, won by upstart Sacramento in three games over Philadelphia. In that series, the first two games went to overtime and the clincher was a 2-point victory.

Season 46 Finals Game 1...Dallas at Sacramento

DALLAS 64, SACRAMENTO 62

DEMONS STEAL GAME 1 CLIFFHANGER

SACRAMENTO -- It wasn't until the final shot in the game's final time unit that Game 1 of this highly anticipated Finals match was decided. 

   Hall of Fame Dallas forward Chip Battoe had just driven to the basket for the bucket that gave his team a 2-point lead, giving the home team River Dogs one time unit left to tie or win the game. Third-year Sacramento point guard Great Gruncle Terry took the deciding trey at the horn and was denied by Bingo Bango (the shot was no good anyway), giving the Demons a 64-62 road win.

It was the first home loss of the season for Sacramento and kept the Dallas bunch unbeaten in the post-season, ahead 1-0 in the best of 5 title series.

High-powered defenses kept the dynamic offenses of these two powerhouse clubs in check throughout the game, and only time will tell if either team will be able to approach their 80-plus points average per game in these Finals.

Dallas can point to its 9 of 12 3-point shooting as a deciding factor in this win, while Sacramento stayed close in part due to its made free throw margin of 10 to 1. 

At one point in the second half, Dallas led by as many as 10 points, but Sacramento came slowly back to tie the score down the stretch. From there it was a white-knuckle affair, with the teams trading hard-won baskets, until the Demons turned to (who else?) Battoe for his game-winning drive to the hole.

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

CHIP "THE CRIP" BATTOE,  Dallas' fourth-year forward, showed why he is a Hall of Famer and considered the top player in today's MBA. The MVP for the fourth time this season scored a game-high 20 points, including the clutch contest-winning hoop in the highly-charged atmosphere of this Game 1 Finals event. He was 9 for 14 from the field, including 2 for 2 from 3-Point Land, pulled down 5 rebounds, led his team with 3 blocked shots and frustrated the top scorer on the River Dogs, Doo-rag Dripp, holding him to just 4 points.

Standout point guard GREAT GRUNCLE TERRY  of Sacramento missed the final trey that could have given his team the Game 1 win, but without his efforts throughout the game, the River Dogs would have not had that longshot opportunity. Terry racked up his third POG of the post-season, narrowly missing another triple-double (and the rarest of all...a quadruple double) as he dominated point guard play over Louie Subgum. The third-year man filled up the various stat columns with 15 points, tying for game-high in assists with 4 and in blocked shots with 4 while pulling down a team-high 5 rebounds. He was 5 for 11 from the floor (1 for 3 from deep) and a perfect 4 for 4 from the foul line. 

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Sacramento shooting guard Potus Obama led his team in scoring with 17 points, grabbed 3 rebounds, had 2 assists and 1 steal in the loss. 

-- Veteran 10-year forward Pap Smearz had a shaky start but straightened up to have a fine game with 14 points, 3 rebounds and 3 assists.

NEXT UP: The teams head to Big D as the Demons, unbeaten at home all season, look to take command in what is already looking like a must-win for Sacramento.

 

Semifinals Game 3...Charleston at Sacramento

SACRAMENTO 80, CHARLESTON 67

RIVER DOGS ADVANCE TO SHOWDOWN 

SACRAMENTO -- Unbeaten in front of their home crowd this season, the Sacramento River Dogs shot out of the gate with an 11-2 run and were never seriously headed, advancing to the MBA Finals for the second time in the last three seasons.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Charleston...4...4...2...2   Total=12

Sacramento.5...7...2...0   Total=14

TOPS IN POINTS PREVENTED

1. Pap Smearz, Sacramento...6

1. J.J. Gargantuan, Charleston...6

3. Flip Testerton, Charleston...4

TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTERS

Charleston...0...1...3...0   Total=4

Sacramento.2...4...2...0   Total=8

TOPS IN TURNOVERS CAUSED

1. Tree Fiddy, Sacramento...4

2. Potus Obama, Sacramento 2

2. J.J. Gargantuan, Charleston 2

GAME TIDBITS

-- Coach Frankie Pantangeli of Sacramento made no substitutions during the game. All five starters went the distance.

-- Charleston went without a free throw the entire game. In fact, only one free throw was made by either team.

-- This was the last game in the careers of Charleston players Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo and Flip Testerton, who both bowed out with very good games.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

The heart of the River Dogs, third-year point guard GREAT GRUNCLE TERRY was not about to let his club down in this decisive third game of the Semis. The 6-5 Terry was magnificent, capturing his second POG of the playoffs with the fourth triple-double of his career, which he secured by the third quarter. He scored 15 points on 7 of 8 shooting (1 for 2 from deep), tied for game-high in rebounds with 7, racked up a game-high 9 assists (one short of the playoff record), blocked a team-high 2 shots and had 1 steal. Going into the Finals, Terry is averaging a triple-double

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Shooters shoot, and Sacramento two-guard Potus Obama has never been shy about letting it fly. After a horrendous shooting night in Game 2, Obama remained unbowed and cranked up 19 shots, good for a game-high 21 points in this series-clinching win. He also pulled down 4 boards, had 2 assists and exated revenge on his opposite, Cat Timol with a dominant performance. He also finished second in the game in defensive turnovers.

-- Wily old veteran Sacramento forward Pap Smearz came through with a 19-point game that included 1 rebound, 2 assists, 1 blocked shot and 6 points prevented, which tied his teammate Gargantuan for game-high.

-- Sacramento's small forward Doo-rag Dripp had a solid 16-point game that included 4 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot.

-- Charleston point guard Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo ended his 10-season run with a flourish, scoring a team-high (tied) 14 points, dishing out a team-high 6 rebounds and pulling down 2 rebounds. He will be tough for the Mountaineers to replace.

-- Hall of Fame Charleston center J.J. Gargantuan was on the wrong side of victory but had a fine post-season. He dominated Sacramento center Tree Fiddy all series long.  In this game he tied for top-scorer on his team with 14 points, blocked a game-high 3 shots, tied for most points prevented in the game and was second in turnovers caused, pulled down 6 rebounds, had 2 assists and registered 1 steal. 

-- Saying good-bye to the MBA, freak 6-5 rebounding genius Flip Testerton fittingly went out with a game-high (tied) 7 rebounds, scoring 12 points, finishing third in points prevented, blocking 1 shot and getting 1 assist. He earned his second All-MBA foil star this season, and like Boligrafo, will be a bitch to replace in the lineup.

NEXT UP: THE FINALS

Dallas vs. Sacramento (first game in Sacramento) may be the most highly anticipated Finals series in the 46-season history of the MBA. It was apparent early on that these two squads were on a collision course for the championship.

-- both teams ended the regular season on top of their divisions with 9-1 records

-- Dallas is the No. 1 scoring team in the league, while Sacramento is the top defensive team. Dallas is fourth in the league defensively while Sacramento is second in the MBA offensively. 

-- Neither team played the other during the regular season, making the Finals all-the-more intriguing.

-- Dallas ran through its first-round opponent like crap through a goose. Sacramento stumbled to its second loss against a tougher Semifinals foe, then steadied itself to advance with a flourish.

-- The most recent confrontation of powerhouses like this was in Season 41 when the defending champions from Oklahoma City came into the playoffs with a 9-1 record and met Charleston and former teammate Naf Naf in the Finals. The Mountaineers were 8-2 entering the post-season. Both teams went unbeaten in the Semifinals. Hall of Fame guard Yipeekayee Masterfalcon of Oklahoma City had his brightest moments to capture the Playoff MVP, leading his club to its second straight title 3 games to 1. But those were both Dave teams.

-- Sacramento's Season 15 team, just its sixth season in existence, went a remarkable 9-1 largely through the efforts of league MVP Frankie Pantangeli, the coach of the current River Dogs team. (I will give you a Cheroot if you can name even one other player from that team). They were matched against the league's dominant team at the time, 9-1 Philadelphia, which, behind Hall of Famer Stu Nod,  dispatched them three straight in the finals as expected. That was a Dave team against a Tyler team.

-- To find the most recent example of two outstanding teams, one by each league owner, you have to go back to Season 13 when Oklahoma City and Milwaukee, both 9-1 during the regular season, met up in the Finals. The Lariats returned to the championship series from the previous year when they lost in five games to Houston. They upended a strong Philadelphia team in round 1 of the playoffs, but lost Hall of Fame center Diamond Dallas Paige for the remainder of the run. Meanwhile, Milwaukee presented Hall of Famers Dan Mann, Marshall Stax (who had played for OKC the previous season), Raisin Sport and Rip Slamjam. Still, Oklahoma City, behind Playoff MVP Streetcar Johnny Masterson, took the series to the five game limit before getting blown away 92-56 in the last game.

This Season 46 Finals is tough to predict, with two teams of definite championship caliber. I give a slight edge, based on their Semifinals performance, to Dallas, which is looking for its fourth title and first since Season 28.