Los Angeles 75, Sacramento 74 (Buzzer Beater)

McDoogle trey wins it at the horn for L.A.

LOS ANGELES -- Avenish McDoogle came off the bench with one time unit remaining and hit a 3-pointer to give Los Angeles a stunning 75-74 victory over the previously unbeaten Sacramento River Dogs. 

Just one play earlier, 7-foot L.A. forward Tomm Foolerie had blocked a sure basket by Pap Smearz that would have clinched the game. A whistle (Doot-Doot-Doot) occured that stopped play with 1 time unit left. A jump ball would have to take place. Meanwhile, it was determined that Dr. Marcus Brody, because of his injury history, had to be removed from the game for a forced rest. Enter McDoogle.

Jonk Vanderdonk out-jumped Tree Fiddy to give L.A. the last shot (thanks to home court advantage), the ball went to McDoogle, who drained the trey to set off a Big One fan celebration.

Normally, ace Sacramento defender Great Gruncle Terry would have been defending that shot, but both he and his running mate at guard, Potus Obama, had fouled out of the game within 8 time units of each other. Obama fouled out with 46 tics left and Sacramento leading by 10, 72-62. Terry fouled out last with 38 time units left in the game and the R-Dogs up 72-64. The visitors could muster just 2 points after Obama left the game with 46 left, with The Big One playing swarming defense.

It's rare that a team shoots 70.8 percent and loses, but that's what happened in this featured game.

The win moves Los Angeles past Sacramento into first place at the All Star Game break, with both teams at 4-1 and three division wins. This head to head win gives L.A. the top spot for now.

Special note: Up until I recounted the score with 6 time units left I had Sacramento with 76 points. I think I may have forgotten to mark a basket for one of the Sacramento players, but, in keeping with the procedure I have always followed, I subtracted 2 points from the R-Dogs score (maybe screwing myself). Either way, the uncharacteristic fouling did Sacramento in more than anything. 

Points Prevented by Quarters

Sacramento...6...2...2...2   Total=12

L.A................2...4...4...6   Total-16

Points Prevented Leaders

1. Tomm Foolerie, Los Angeles 6

2. Dr. Marcus Brody, Los Angeles 4

2. Tree Fiddy, Sacramento 4

Turnovers Caused

Sacramento caused 2 turnovers

Los Angeles caused 0 turnovers

Leaders in turnovers caused

Potus Obama and Tree Fiddy of Sacramento had 1 each

PLAYER OF THE GAME

After two injury-plagued seasons, fifth-season Los Angeles point guard DR. MARCUS BRODY is once more taking his place among the top players in the MBA. In this important win the 6-2 sharpshooter bagged a game-high 29 points while tying for game-high rebounding honors with 6. He also blocked 1 shot and added 1 assist. His 4 points prevented tied for second most in the game and included the blocked shot that stopped a key Sacramento bucket late in the game. He seized the game offensively from maybe the top defender at his position, Great Gruncle Terry, going 11 for 19 from the floor, including 4 of 8 from beyond the arc and fouling Terry out. Brody's previous injuries put him on the sideline for the decisive last time unit, but it was his play that put L.A. in position to win. He came into the game fourth in the league in scoring at 17.5 per game and goes into the break at 19.8, which is currently second.

Other 20-plus GVP performances

-- 11-season veteran forward Pap Smearz of Sacramento played his usual solid game in the loss, scoring 15 points while tying for game-high in rebounds with 6. He also had 2 assists.

-- The other River Dogs forward, Doo-rag Dripp led his team in points scored, racking up 24 big ones while blocking 1 shot and getting 1 rebound. 

NEXT UP: San Jose (2-2), fresh off a 1-point win against Los Angeles, travels to Oklahoma City where they take on a Lariats team (1-3) that bested Milwaukee by a single point to remain relevant for the moment. It's another big game in a season replete with close contests.

Season 47 Featured Game No. 4...Seattle at Sacramento

 Sacramento 80, Seattle 76

Fourth-quarter surge saves River Dogs

SACRAMENTO -- A fourth-quarter surge, precipitated by a switch in guard positions saw the Sacramento River Dogs rally from a 10-point deficit to overcome a stubborn Seattle Stampede team 80-76.

Seattle, shooting the eyes out, led 64-54 going into the fourth quarter, thanks in a big part to point guard Don Barzini finding the open man with his 8 assists. Sacramento coach Frankie Pantangeli switched his two guards, putting ball hawk Potus Obama on Barzini, who did not get another assist. Meanwhile, the home team was scoring 26 points to just 12 for Seattle to pull out the game.

Both teams shot over 60 percent, with the visiting Seattle crew shooting 68.8 percent and Sacramento 63.5 percent.

This is the fourth consecutive barn-burner witnessed on the MBA schedule. 

Sacramento is now 4-0 while Seattle dips to 2-2.

Seattle's defense against the shot was outrageous in this game as attested by the numbers below.

Points Prevented by Quarters

Seattle...........4...8...2...4   Total=18

Sacramento...3...0...2...4   Total=9

Top Players in Points Prevented

1. Willie Carry McCoffee, Seattle...10

2. Reed Lemur, Seattle...4

3. Potus Obama, Sacramento...3

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

Veteran Sacramento River Dogs forward PAP SMEARZ was outstanding down the stretch in this comeback win, out-dueling fellow old timer Stu Gatz and ending up with a game-high 19 points on 8 of 10 shooting that included a pair of slams. The 11-season star also led his team with 4 rebounds, was 3 for 3 from the foul line, had 1 steal and 1 assist.

AND

Fourth-year Seattle guard POTATOES O'GRATIN has found a home in the starting lineup for the Stampede. The 6-4 two guard not only led his team in scoring with 14 points, he also pulled down a game-high 7 rebounds, had 2 assists, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot. He was 5 for 8 from the floor and 2 for 5 at the foul line. He came into the game third in the league in 3-point shooting and drained both of his long balls in this game.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Mr. River Dog, Tree Fiddy, was frustrated by the stalwart defense of Willie Carry McCoffee, but got his offensive game going when McCoffee went out in the third quarter with a long forced rest. Fiddy, second in the league in scoring, ended up with 17 points, adding 3 rebounds and 1 assist.

-- Doo-rag Dripp completes the front line excellence of Sacramento in this game. The veteran small forward scored most of his 15 points in the fourth quarter, grabbed 1 board, had 2 assists and tied for team-high in blocked shots with 2. 

-- Seattle point guard Don Barzini ran the show with aplomb for the Stampede, especially in the first three quarters when he racked up a game-high 8 assists. Barzini scored 11 points and added 1 steal.

WEST DIVISION STANDINGS (unchanged since last bracket)

1st -- Sacramento River Dogs 4-0

2nd --Los Angeles Big One 3-1

3rd -- Seattle Stampede 2-2 (division wins tie-breaker)

4th -- San Jose Fighting Amigos 2-2

Last --Oklahoma City Lariats 1-3

Upcoming bracket (No. 5)

-- Dallas (4-0) at Milwaukee (1-3)...The Greyhounds need to upset the powerhouse Demons or basically kiss another season of playoff hopes good-bye. They were the only team to beat Dallas last season, and it was a Milwaukee home game.

-- The battle of the win-less squads as Philadelphia (0-4) visits Kansas City (0-4). Philly hasn't come closer than 14 points to any opponent while K.C. came within 4, then 3 of Charleston. And they have one of their two career wins against the Phobia.

-- FEATURED GAME: First place in the West is up for grabs just before the All Star Game break as Sacramento takes on Los Angeles in L.A. The Big One is playing like it belongs in the playoffs and is one bucket away from being undefeated. Sacramento had to scramble against Seattle to keep its unblemished record. This could be a good one, especially since L.A. has home court.

-- San Jose at Oklahoma City should be another interesting match. The Fighting Amigos have already matched last season's win total and have shown they can score with the best of them. But the Lariats, currently in last, could easily have the same record as San Jose, having lost in overtime on a buzzer beater to Seattle.

-- The cross-over game in this bracket pits Seattle against the East's second-place team, Charleston (3-1). It's a bigger game at this point for Seattle, because Charleston is two games up on its nearest playoff opponent, which is an underdog in its upcoming game.

POWER RANKINGS

1. Dallas Demons...the closest anyone has come to beating the defending champs is 14.

2. Sacramento River Dogs...sweated out their last win to remain unbeaten.

3. San Jose Fighting Amigos...their losses were by a point to L.A. and to unbeaten Sacramento.

4. Los Angeles Big One...the MBA's surprise team can really impress us with a win against R-Dogs.

5. Charleston Mountaineers...find themselves alone in second, but tough schedule is coming.

6. Milwaukee Greyhounds...despite just one win, still a formidable lineup; and Fatty is looking good.

7. Seattle Stampede...have inserted themselves in the playoff mix despite disjointed lineup.

8. Oklahoma City Lariats...probably not enough firepower or size at guard to return to playoffs again.

9. Kansas City Bastard Angels...a maverick pick, but we'll see how wrong or right we are next game.

10. Philadelphia Phobia...weird having the dynasty franchise out of it so early. Playing for pride.

Season 47 Featured Game No. 3...Los Angeles at Milwaukee

 Los Angeles 76, Milwaukee 54

Big One rolls over Greyhounds

MILWAUKEE -- The surprising Los Angeles Big One rode roughshod over the home team Milwaukee Greyhounds, whipping them from start to finish for a 76-54 cross-over win.

The win makes the Greyhounds 3-0 for the season, joining unbeatens Sacramento and Dallas. The loss puts the Milwaukee team, which seemingly had turned the corner in their last game, at 1-2. 

Milwaukee's guards, the fulcrum of the team, were held without a point until 22 time units into the third quarter when Lannigan Lord Hobo finally scored. Fatty McButterpants of Milwaukee did not score until the fourth quarter. 

The West is now 3-0 in cross-overs.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

JONK VANDERDONK, plucked from the cut pile to start for Milwaukee, earned his second Player of the Game honor this season, scoring 21 points, tying for team-high in rebounds with 6 and getting 1 assist while dominating his opposite Sabado Gigante. The 6-10, well-traveled sixth-year man was 9 for 12 from the floor and a perfect 3 for 3 from the foul line. He has put together games of 20, 20 and 21 points to start Season 47.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- L.A. point guard Dr. Marcus Brody had no trouble against Fatty McButterpants. While Fatty was held to 4 points, Brody was putting in a game-high 22, with 3 deep ones. He also pulled down 3 rebounds and added 1 assist.

-- Los Angeles rookie forward Sheetrock Hudson tied for team-high in rebounds with 6 while scoring 11 points, dishing a team-high 3 assists and getting 1 steal and 1 blocked shot.

-- Wardy Joubert III of Milwaukee clashed all game long with Hudson, with the pair each demonstrating somewhat matching abilities. The 6-9 Joubert led his team in scoring with 18 points while skying for a game-high 7 rebounds. He also had a blocked shot. 

EAST DIVISION STANDINGS (no changes since last bracket)

1st--Dallas Demons 3-0

2nd--Charleston Mountaineers 2-1

3rd--Milwaukee Greyhounds 1-2

4th--Kansas City Bastard Angels 0-3 (points differential tie-breaker)

Last--Philadelphia Phobia 0-3

WEST DIVISION STANDINGS

1st--Sacramento River Dogs 3-0 (points differential tie-breaker) (up from 2nd)

2nd--Los Angeles Big One 3-0 (down from 1st)

3rd--Seattle Stampede 2-1 (unchanged)

4th--San Jose Fighting Amigos 1-2 (unchanged)

Last--Oklahoma City Lariats 0-3

UPCOMING BRACKET OF GAMES (NO. 4)

-- Philadelphia at Dallas...second game in a row between these two...Phobia shook before Demons in last encounter, losing 81-56. Dallas looks to stay unbeaten while Philly will likely descend to 0-4.

-- Milwaukee at Oklahoma City features a cross-over of two teams who have already dug themselves into losing seasons, with neither being able to afford yet another loss.

-- Charleston gets to play hapless Kansas City again, this time on the road, and should hang onto its second-place standing for now. But K.C. only lost to the Mountaineers by 4 points the last game.

-- Los Angeles puts its perfect record on the line with a visit to San Jose, where the Fighting Amigos are licking their wounds after getting soundly smacked by Sacramento. The two games between these two clubs should determine the second playoff spot in the West.

-- FEATURED GAME: Seattle at Sacramento will determine if the Stampede are contenders or pretenders for the post season.

Season 47 Featured Game No. 2...Charleston at Dallas

 Dallas 80, Charleston 59 (slaughter rule enacted)

DEMONS DISMANTLE MOUNTAINEERS 

DALLAS -- After a first-quarter in which visiting Charleston used every last drop of their defensive energy, the defending champion Dallas Demons took control of the game and waltzed it home to an 80-59 victory.

Dallas is now 2-0 on the season while Charleston drops to 1-1.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Although he did not have his best shooting day, Hall of Fame Dallas forward CHIP "THE CRIP" BATTOE still led all scorers with a 20-point game on the way to snaring the 9th triple-double of his storied career. Battoe, as usual, dominated Frog Morton of Charleston, sending him to the bench for his ineffectiveness at halftime. The 6-8 Battoe was 9 for 17 from the floor and 2 for 3 from the foul line, pulled down 5 rebounds, had 1 assist and blocked a game-high 5 shots. He finished second in the game in points prevented with 4. This is is second POG this season, tying him with Hunk R. Down of San Jose for tops in that department so far.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- This is the kind of game Louie Subgum can produce when he doesn't foul out. The Dallas point guard scored 17 points, registered a game-high 7 assists, grabbed 2 rebounds and finished second in causing turnovers. He does not play like he's in his 12th season. He dominated Hurricane Furrwizard.

-- Taking over at the shooting guard for retired Bingo Bango seems natural for Dallas' Meat Pants Masterson, who fired up 17 shots on the way to a 16-point game. The 7th-year man also had 2 rebounds, 2 blocked shots and 1 assist.

-- Fifth-year behemoth GoToo Grot of Dallas scored 12 points, pulled down 7 boards and had 2 assists in a steady game against Hall of Famer J.J. Gargantuan at center.

-- Dallas forward Tiger Masterson grabbed a game-high 8 rebounds, scored 11 points, had the game's only steal and led everyone in causing turnovers.

-- Charleston shooting guard Cat Timol led the way for Charleston with 19 points, adding 3 steals and 2 blocked shots to his resume in this loss.

-- Charleston's Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan managed 14 points, 4 rebounds, 1 assist and 1 blocked shot.

-- Faku Sosume played an all-around fine game at forward for the Mountaineers, scoring 14 points and pulling down 5 rebounds while blocking a team-high 3 shots and dishing out 2 assists. Additionally, he accounted for a game-high 6 points prevented with those 3 blocks.

Points prevented by quarter

Charleston...13...0...2...0  Total=15

Dallas............4...0...5...0   Total=9

Turnovers caused by quarter

Charleston...0...0...0...0  Total=0

Dallas..........2...1...0...4   Total=7

Points prevented leaders

1. Faku Sosume, Charleston 6

2. Chip Battoe, Dallas 4

2. Frog Morton, Charleston 4

Turnovers caused leaders

1. Tiger Masterson, Dallas 3

2. Louie Subgum, Dallas 3

NEXT UP: Philadelphia (0-1) at Milwaukee (0-1). This is a big meeting of two teams with playoff hopes, with neither looking to go 0-2 to start the season in the always-tough East. 

Featured Game No. 1...Philadelphia at San Jose

 San Jose 92, Philadelphia 78

Amigos unveil fun 'n gun offense

SAN JOSE-- The San Jose Fighting Amigos, turned up the juice with a 3-point barrage and three 20-point scorers as they opened Season 47 with an entertaining 92-78 cross-over win over the visiting Philadelphia Phobia.

  The home team's star rookie guard Jesse Shershot wasted no time ingratiating himself to the expectant San Jose backers, taking exactly one time unit to bury his first 3-point bucket and sending the throng into  an early frenzy.

The Amigos scored 26 in that first quarter on the way to unleashing 17 treys in the game (of which they made 7). Philadelphia hung tough for a while, tying the score at one point in the third quarter with an offensive burst of their own, but San Jose pulled away for good in the fourth with another 25-point period.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

It wasn't either of the high-scoring guards who captured POG in this opener, but 8-season veteran center HUNK R. DOWN of San Jose. The 7-footer missed 60 percent of  Season 46 with an injury, but looked rarin' to go for this campaign as he scored 20 points while registering game-highs in both rebounds with 10 and blocked shots with 3, adding 2 assists. Down looked like a youngster in this one, going 10 for 13 from the floor, with half of his 10 field goals ending in slam dunks.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- 6-5 rookie point guard Jesse Shershot of San Jose did not disappoint in his home and MBA debut, scoring a game-high 26 points that included a trio of long bombs while pulling down 3 rebounds.

-- Third-year shooting guard Mister Methane of San Jose, the top scorer for this club the last two seasons, exceeded his new running mate with four 3-pointers on the way to a 20-point game that included 2 rebounds and 2 assists.

-- Philadelphia has a rookie point guard of its own that bears watching in Dick Papers, who scored 17 in his MBA opener, including a trio of drives that ended with the 6-footer skying for dunks. He showed excellent ball skills with a game-high 6 assists and pulled down 2 rebounds and scored 8 consecutive points in the third quarter to temporarily tie the game. Not a bad curtain-raiser for someone replacing Hall of Famer Colquitt Croix.

-- Philly shooting guard Brownie McShytles showed off his excellent mid-range game, tying for team-high in points with 19, while contributing 1 rebound and 1 assist.

-- Phobia center Chutcher Mouthchair opened his sixth season with 10 points, a team-high 6 rebounds, 3 assists and 1 blocked shot.

-- Also entering his sixth season, defensive Philadelphia wizard Wawa Wewa put together a big offensive game, tying for team-high in points with 19, dishing 4 assists, blocking 1 shot, pulling down 4 boards and snatching away a game-high 2 steals. He dominated Lupalin Greenbeard,

East Division Standings

1st--Dallas 1-0 (points differential tie-breaker)

2nd--Charleston 1-0

3rd--Philadelphia 0-1 (scoring tie-breaker)

4th--Milwaukee 0-1 (points differential tie-breaker)

Last--Kansas City 0-1

West Division Standings

1st--Los Angeles 1-0 (points differential tie-breaker)

2nd--Sacramento 1-0 (division wins tie-breaker)

3rd--San Jose 1-0

4th--Oklahoma City 0-1 (points differential tie-breaker)

Last--Seattle 0-1

NEXT BRACKET OF GAMES (NO. 2)

--Sacramento at Kansas City with the home team Bastard Angels taking their second straight beating

--Seattle at Oklahoma City...the Lariats showed some firepower offensively in first game

--San Jose at Los Angeles...The Big One gets an early upset chance, but without top defender Conquest

--FEATURED GAME: Charleston at Dallas for first place in the East between traditional top of the standings foes

--Philadelphia at Milwaukee...neither of these playoff hopefuls wants to start in an 0-2 hole

Early Power Rankings

1. Dallas

2. Sacramento

3. San Jose

4. Charleston

5. Philadelphia

6. Milwaukee

7. Los Angeles

8. Oklahoma City

9. Seattle

10. Kansas City. 

  

SEASON 47 PREVIEW AND PREDICTIONS

 

SEASON 47 TEAM PREVIEWS

EAST DIVISION (All Predictions Unanimous)

1st-- DALLAS DEMONS

Last Season:  First place, 9-1 (5-1 in playoffs) Champions

Last Time Missed Playoffs : Season 43

Last Title: Last season

Biggest Additions: Veteran forward Goodbar “Muddy” Masterson a solid addition

Biggest Losses: Second-leading scorer and league’s second-best 3-point shooter at guard, Bingo Bango (14.6 ppg) 55.6% from 3 with 25 made) retired.

Summary: Loss of Bango will hurt as far as scoring and rebounding goes, but he turned the ball over a lot too. Will not be as deep at guard, but will be deeper at forward with the addition of Muddy Masterson. The most important thing is that they still have Hall of Fame forward Chip “the Crip” Battoe who has four MVPs in four seasons. He does, however, have two chinks in his formidable armour…being prone to injury and a loss of passing ability. But they’re still favorites.

 

2nd-- MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS

Last Season: Fourth place, 5-5

Last Playoff Appearance: Season 40

Last Title: Season 18

Biggest Additions: Added two pieces to starting lineup, talented backup center Sabado Gigante in trade with Charleston and promising second-year forward Wardy Joubert III (10.3 ppg, 4.4 rpg, 12 blocks) in draft via Seattle.

Biggest Losses: Third-year center Papa Popcorn (10.1 ppg, 5.1 rpg, 17 blocks) to Charleston in Gigante trade. Forward Faku Sosume (10.8 ppg, 5 steals) to Charleston in same trade.

Summary: Milwaukee trades rim-protecting defense in Popcorn for potential big-time scorer at center in Gigante. It’s been a long drought since last playoff appearance and even longer since last title, but Greyhounds fans are catching post-season fever. Guard Lord Lannigan Hobo and his two consecutive All-MBA seasons (18.5 and 18.6 ppg) leads the way. They need Fatty McButterpants to snap out of his slumping season from a year ago.

 

3rd-- PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA

Last Season: Third place, 5-5

Last Playoff Appearance: Season 44

Last Title: Season 43

Biggest Additions: Rookie guard Dick Papers, who will run the point.

Biggest Losses: Hall of Fame point guard and league-leading scorer Colquitt Croix (19.6 ppg, 66.7% from 3-Point Land with 36 made)’

Summary: Philadelphia will sport the same lineup as last season with the exception of rookie Papers for one of the all-time greats at point guard. Papers looks capable but won’t score like Croix, so one of the four returning starters (or all) will have to pick up the loss of his offense.

 

4th-- CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS

Last Season: Second place, 6-4 (1-2 in playoffs)

Last Playoff Miss: Season 44

Last Title: Season 42

Biggest Additions: Fifth-year guard Hurricane Furrwizard (16.5 ppg) in draft via Oklahoma City, forward Faku Sosume (10.8 ppg, 5 steals) and 7-2 center Papa Popcorn (10.1 ppg, 5.1 rpg, 17 blocks), last two in trade with Milwaukee.

Biggest Losses: All-MBA forward and leading scorer Flip Testerton (16.1 ppg, 5.9 rpg) to retirement. Point guard Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo (15.0 ppg, 25 3s, 3.2 apg, 3.9 rpg) to retirement.

Summary: Mountaineers, always in playoff picture, will have a long haul to get there this season with loss of two of their best scorers. Ball movement with four good passers will hopefully get good shots.

 

Last-- KANSAS CITY BASTARD ANGELS

Last Season: Last place, 1-9

Last Playoff Appearance: Never

Last Title: Never

Biggest Addition: Rookie guard Joe Momsawhore is an exciting player who can score from everywhere, but is overly aggressive on defense and highly prone to fouling.

Biggest Losses: Rookie of the Year, top scorer on team and first franchise player to make an All Star Game, Freddy Chepuzzo (14.8 ppg, 68.0% shooting) lost to free agency. Starting point guard Con Gusto (10.0 ppg) retired.

Summary: Too much lost, not enough gained. They’ll be lucky to win a game this season and will be rolling for a new city at year’s end.

 

 

WEST DIVISION (All Predictions Unanimous)

1S 1st--SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS

Last Season:  First place, 9-1 (3-4, lost in Finals)

Last Playoff Miss:  Season 45

Last Title:  Season 44

Biggest Addition: None—same exact roster

Biggest Losses: None—same exact roster

Summary:  Unprecedented fourth consecutive season in which this team will feature the exact same starting lineup and even more rare, the exact same team roster. Against all odds, the R-Dogs, with the league’s oldest roster, once more saw three of their four older players improve along with their point guard leader Great Gruncle Terry. Almost a cinch to make the playoffs, they will have competition this season for the West Division’s top spot in San Jose.  Golden Age of this franchise continues as they seek another championship.

 

     2nd--SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS

Last Season:  Last place, 2-8

Last Playoff Appearance:  Season 44

Last Title: Season 25

Biggest Additions:  Top-rated rookie Jesse Shershot, plus last season’s Rookie of the Year Freddy Chepuzzo (14.8 ppg, 68% shooter).

Biggest Losses:  None

Summary: MBA’s youngest roster emerges from two-year coma of last-place finishes with enough talent to contend for first in the West and possibly, a championship. Getting Shershot was the big prize, but nabbing Chepuzzo means that the Amigos will combine the last two Rookie of the Year winners (Mister Methane the other) at the shooting guard spot and negate both of their foul-prone ways.  The front line is not spectacular but solid. Will be a 3-point shower.  Faces toughest cross-over opponents.

 

3rd-- LOS ANGELES BIG ONE

Last Season:  Fourth place, 3-7

Last Playoff Appearance:  Season 45

Last Title:  Season 45

Biggest Addition:  Big-time rebounding rookie Sheetrock Hudson.

Biggest Losses: No starters, top sub guard Peeshie Pooshie

Summary:  If Dr. Marcus Brody (13.4 ppg) stays healthy and Hudson lives up to rookie hype, they could squeeze pass San Jose for playoff spot.  Had to resort to cut pile for starting center (Jonk Vanderdonk) for second consecutive season.  May have trouble holding off Oklahoma City.

 

4.  4th-- OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS

Last Season: Second place, 5-5

Last Playoff Miss: Season 44

Last Title: Season 41

Biggest Additions:  Veteran point guard passing wizard Red Reparee, shooting guard Peeshie Pooshie and rookie forward Entha Shortzone will all start.

Biggest Losses:  Guard Hurricane Furrwizard (16.5 ppg) to free agency, forward Peter Pizza (12.8 ppg) to old age and cutpile, back-up center supreme Willie Carry McCoffee to free agency

Summary: Like L.A., turned over half their roster, mostly with trades, to get an outside shot at playoff contention.  Miraculously lured second-year center star Chochky Galumpkus (12.8 ppg) back to squad from free agency pool. Counted out last two seasons, made playoffs both times.

 

LAST-- SEATTLE STAMPEDE

Last Season: Third place, 5-5

Last Playoff Appearance:  Season 42

Last Title: Season 37

Biggest Additions:  Defensive genius center Willie Carry McCoffee and rookie guard Franswa Perfecto will add depth, but likely neither will start.

Biggest Losses:  Both starting forwards, Pietro Destroyer (10.9 ppg) and Wardy Joubert III (10.3 ppg).

Summary:  Unsettled lineup will take time to find right combo. Hurting at forward, strong at center.

 

ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS

Guard – Lord Lannigan Hobo, Milwaukee (unanimous)

Guard—Jesse Shershot, San Jose (unanimous)

Center—Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City (Tyler), Tree Fiddy, Sacramento (Dave)

Forward—Chip Battoe, Dallas (unanimous)

Forward—Sheetrock Hudson, Los Angeles  (Tyler), Doo-rag Dripp, Sacramento (Dave)

 

LEAGUE MVP

Jesse Shershot, San Jose (Dave)

Chip Battoe, Dallas (Tyler)

 

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

Jesse Shershot, San Jose (unanimous)

 

MBA Veterans (10 or more seasons)

14^th—Shag Bark, Milwaukee (oldest rostered player)

14^th—Buzz Kill (cut pile)

12^th—Louie Subgum, Dallas (oldest starter)

11^th—Stu Gatz, Seattle

11^th—Pap Smearz, Sacramento

11^th—Cremeofsum Younguy, Sacramento

10^th—J.J. Gargantuan, Charleston (Hall of Famer)

10^th—Baskets Weaver, Philadelphia

 

 

ACTIVE HALL OF FAME PLAYERS

Chip Battoe, Dallas (15 awards)

J.J. Gargantuan, Charleston (11 awards)

 

HALL OF FAME WATCH (5 or more awards)

9 awards—Pap Smearz, Sacramento

8 awards—Tree Fiddy, Sacramento

6 awards—Dr. Marcus Brody, Los Angeles

5 awards—Lannigan Lord Hobo, Milwaukee

5 awards—Potus Obama, Sacramento

 

LONGEST CONSECUTIVE GAME STREAKS

90 games—Tree Fiddy, Sacramento

60 games—Brownie McShytles, Philadelphia

60 games—Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia

50 games—Potus Obama, Sacramento

50 games—Doo-rag Dripp, Sacramento

50 games—Chutcher Mouthchair, Philadelphia

 

 

NEXT UP: The Season begins with West favorite Sacramento at Oklahoma City

Followed by:

Los Angeles at Seattle

Kansas City at East favorite Dallas in a squash game

Milwaukee at Charleston

 Featured Game: Philadelphia at San Jose in big cross-over

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Season 47 Trades

 

Looking at the Season 47 Draft and Improvements

R=rookie

PP=prime pick

Numbers next to prime pick are when prime pick was taken and how many rolls of the dice it took to get the player eventually chosen...1 or 6 needed to get named player, so higher the number the worse choice the team is getting.

Using Tyler’s chart and my draft tracking info as well as Tyler’s projection of the winners, here’s more commentary.

1. San Jose—Snagged the prize of the draft with prime pick selection of guard Jesse Sherwood, who scored 39 points in the rookies vs. free agents game. He will pair with Mister Methane at guard to give this team a circus-like 3-point shooting gunner group. The Fighting Amigos also picked up free agent and last season’s Rookie of the Year Freddy Chepuzzo with their first pick (second overall). Both he and Methane (another Rookie of the Year) were prone to foul trouble. Together they are an imposing duo to pair with Sherwood. San Jose is now a championship contender.

Dave Grade: A+

2. Oklahoma City — Decimated by the loss of five free agents, they lured back star center Chochky Galumpkus with the first prime pick in the draft, then got point guard passing great veteran Red Repartee with their second pick. They emerged better than expected but not good enough to make the playoffs.

Dave Grade: A+

3. Los Angeles — Their three picks nabbed the three best rookie forwards in the draft, with rebounding machine Sheetrock Hudson the main prize. Had to dig in cut pile for starting center, getting Jonk Vanderdonk, who is serviceable.

Dave Grade: A-

4. Philadelphia — Replaced Hall of Fame guard Colquitt Croix with rookie guard Dick Papers, who should be good but is still a downgrade.

Dave Grade: B

5. Milwaukee — Best pick was prime pick second-year forward Wardy Joubert III who will give Greyhounds one of the biggest front lines in MBA history. Will is be enough to finally get them into the playoffs?

Dave Grade: B-

6. Charleston — Hit hard by two starting lineup retirements, they did better with their random pick (guard Hurricane Furrwizard) than they did with their prime pick guard Charles Pompeo, who took seven rolls of the dice to attain. Resorted to cut pile draft for old man Shag Bark to fill out starting lineup at forward to replace All-MBA Flip Testerton.

Dave Grade: B

7. Dallas — Defending champs picking last did OK with just two picks in that they snagged solid veteran forward Goodbar “Muddy” Masterson with their prime pick. Will he push Tiger Masterson for starting spot. At worst he’s a fine backup. Demons now have three Mastersons on their roster, the most ever by one team, Meat Pants Masterson being the third.

Dave Grade: B-

8. Sacramento — Veteran club cut both of its draft picks and will go after title with exact same roster as last season. Their big gains came in improvements. (See below).

Dave Grade: F

9. Seattle — Team started the draft with the league’s All-MBA center, Seven Castanza, then proceeded to use all three draft picks on centers, including prime pick, which netted them defensive whiz Willie Carry McCoffee. Will he dislodge Castanza? This team is a mess.

Dave Grade: C

10. Kansas City — After losing top player Freddy Chepuzzo to free agency, had horrendous draft. May not even win a game. Their second prime pick doomed them when it took seven rolls of the cube of chance to secure rookie guard Joe Momsawhore when they needed someone like Jesse Sherwood, who went on the very next pick to San Jose. They will be rolling to see if they move to another city after this season. Another mess-of-a-team.

Dave Grade: D

 

Improvement/Regression Notes

Kansas City--More regressions than improvements.

San Jose--Both young starting forwards, Greenbeard and Creamer, improved somewhat, while big draft get Freddy Chepuzzo added more 3-point shooting to his arsenal, the positive/negative aspect of which will be determined.

Los Angeles--Nothing major for starters.

Milwaukee--Starting center Papa Popcorn slight improvement. Some nice bench improvement.

Seattle--Prime draft pick Willie Carry McCoffee got somewhat worse, but not a lot. All-MBA center Seven Castanza better on the dribble. Potatoes O'Gratin became a better passer and can now play the point and shoot more treys. Ancient forward Stu Gatz still getting better with slight rebound improvement.

Philadelphia--Have to look really close to see any improvements.

Oklahoma City--Draft picks Chochky Galumpkus (a returning player from free agency) will pass better and excellent point guard passer Red Reparee got significantly worse on the dribble.

Charleston--Starting forward Frog Morton improved twice against the dribble and once against the pass, making him a significantly better ball hawk. Backup center Sabado Gigante continues to get better while languishing on the bench behind Hall of Famer J.J. Gargantuan, who ages gracefully.

Sacramento--Standing pat with strong veteran lineup, they bucked the odds by improving overall instead of declining. Four of the five starters got plusses, the biggest coming at guards where Great Gruncle Terry and Potus Obama both improved significantly. Best defensive team last season just got better. Will it be enough to claim the big prize?

Dallas--Biggest story is the passing decline of Hall of Fame forward Chip Battoe, giving him a chink in the armour as he enters his fifth season. He's still easily the best forward in the draft and a favorite to garner his fifth straight regular season MVP. But above average defenders will be able to take advantage of his passing liability to the point where he may have to move to power forward. Having said that, anyone would still grab him up if they could. Other Dallas improvements came largely in bench players. Ancient point guard Louie Subgum got worse, but not significantly. Bottom line, Dallas is still the team to beat.

Introducing the Class of '47 Rookies ... with rankings, including free agents

 Rating the Season 47

 Rookies and Free Agents

   The last of the 16 rookies made for Season 47 turned out to be a Hall of Fame-caliber guard by the name of Jesse Shershot.

    The 6-2 guard will be a prize for any team that snares him, as he is not only the tallest guard in the draft, but the best shot who can score from every zone, including 3-Point Land, and also plays better than average defense.

   He was the creation of Tyler Masterson's significant other, Jesse Sherwood, who was handed the keys to Frankenstein's laboratory by Dave Masterson for the player named after her. 

   She responded with flying colors and turned the draft from drab to a compelling upcoming event.

So, without further adieu, here's the rookies and free agents, grouped by league owners Dave and Tyler.

Dave Rookie Rankings

Excellent Rookie Guards

Jesse Shershot

Dick Papers

Excellent Rookie Forwards

Sheetrock Hudson

Good Rookie Guards

Buddy "Stankpig" Pigglesworth

Franswa Perfecto

Joe Momsawhore

Good Rookie Forwards

Jospah Gecan

Entha Shortzone

Vito Andolini

Nombre Oculto

Good Rookie Centers

K-ream Skyhook

Taco Toosdae

Cut-pile bound rookies

Guard-- Boney Skelletrino

Guard-- Itsaka Numdrum

Forward-- Tootie Heathcliffe

Center-- Doli Doli Firenze

Tyler Rookies Rankings (based on 1-5 stars system)

5-Star Rookie Guards

Jesse Shershot

4-Star Rookie Guards

Dick Papers

3-Star Rookie Guards

Joe Momsawhore

2 1/2-Star Rookie Guards

Franswa Perfecto

2-Star Rookie Guards

Buddy "Stankpig" Pigglesworth

1 1/2-Star Rookie Guards

Boney Skelletrino

Itsaka Numdrum

4-Star Rookie Forwards

Sheetrock Hudson

3-Star Rookie Forwards

Entha Shortzone

2 1/2-Star Rookie Forwards

Vito Andolini

2-Star Rookie Forwards

Jospah Gecan

1 1/2-Star Rookie Forwards

Tootie Heathcliffe

Nombre Oculto

2 1/2-Star Rookie Centers

K-ream Skyhook

2-Star Rookie Centers

Taco Toosdae

Doli Doli Firenze

Dave Free Agent Rankings 

Excellent Free-Agent Guards

Freddy Chepuzzo

Very Good Free-Agent Guards

Hurricane Furrwizard

Good Free-Agent Guards

Red Reparee

Borderline Good Free-Agent Guards

Tweedle D. Dee

Questionable Free-Agent Guards

Charlest "FP" Popmeo

Very Good Free-Agent Forwards

Goodbar "Muddy" Masterson

Wardy "Big Wood" Joubert III

Excellent Free-Agent Centers

Chochky Galumpkus

Willie Carry McCoffee

Leaning Toward Cut-Pile Free-Agent Centers

Asiago Cheez

SEASON 47 DRAFT TO BE HELD ON THANKSGIVING DAY

Season 47 Free Agents

10 PLAYERS DECLARE FOR 

FREE AGENCY 

OKLAHOMA CITY WIPED OUT

While defending champion Dallas and MBA finals club Sacramento retained all of the available players on their rosters, Oklahoma City, one of the other two playoff teams from last season, was decimated with free agent declarations.

Five of the 10 Lariats, including star centers Chochky Galumpkus and Willie Carry McCoffee, along with All Star Game guard Hurricane Furrwizard will all be added to the upcoming draft from Oklahoma City.

Kansas City suffered a big blow as well. It's only loss was last season's Rookie of the Year, guard Freddy Chepuzzo.

Milwaukee lost back-up guard Red Reparee, which negated the only trade consumated by the league's two owners, whereby Reparee would have gone to San Jose in exchange for a number of draft picks by both teams.

Fully half the teams made it through the free agency period unscathed with 10 players being added to the 16 rookies. This means that there will be 26 players in the draft. As of now, each team will get at least two picks, and all but the four playoff teams from last season getting a third pick.

Wrapping up Season 46

Other Notes

--- only one coach fired following Season 46...L.A. cans Dorf Dingman, hires Naceg Gecan

-- in team vs. team all-time records...

1. only team Seattle has a winning record against is Kansas City

2. Milwaukee's only losing record is against Philly 54-56

3. LA/Houston has winning record against all but Milwaukee and Philly

4. Philadelphia is only team to have a winning record against everyone

5. Dallas adds Charleston and Oklahoma City to the teams they have winning records against all time.

NEXT UP: Free agent declarations for Season 47

 

Season 46 Playoff Summary

 

MVP OF THE PLAYOFFS...SEASON 46

Fourth year Hall of Fame forward Chip Battoe snagged his first Playoff MVP award in his first MBA Finals, tying two blocked shots records and leading everyone in scoring. In leading his Dallas Demons to the Season 46 Championship, Battoe also earned his first championship ring, giving him 15 total awards on his card (and counting). 

Battoe is the first forward to win Playoff MVP since Season 38 when Hall of Famer Art Vandalay won it for Chicago's last championship team. 

Battoe joins five other Dallas Demon players who have won the Playoff MVP award. They are:

Bingo Bango...Season 42

Mamadou Zongo...Season 28

Joey Two-Tones...Season 23

Tersio Tataruga...Season 21

Shooter Flatch...Season 20

The 15 awards on Battoe's card moves him into a tie for 14th place all time with Doc Watson and Cam Bodia in the Hall of Fame rankings, moving him past:

14 awards

Colquitt Croix

Cheetos Jones

Dan Mann

13 awards

Raisin Sport

Guru Gannon

Tommy Zoop

12 awards

Bill Rustler

Rip Slamjam

11 awards

Ching-Chong Chung

Tom "The Bomb" Kondla

J.J. Gargantuan (still active)

Shucks Oyster

Gato Do Mato

Beezow Bop-Bop

Battoe started the season with 10 awards in three seasons and captured all 5 of the awards that he could possibly obtain in Season 46. The two that had eluded him prior to this season were the Playoff MVP award and the championship ring. In winning those two this season, he now joins an elite list of just 5 players who have every award possible on their cards. They are:

PLAYERS WHO HAVE WON EVERY AWARD POSSIBLE

CURLY HOGBOTTOM

SAGITTAL OCCLUSAL

HRUNDI V. BAKSHI

NAF NAF

CHIP BATTOE

(Of that elite group, only two players...Naf Naf and Sagittal Occlusal also added the MVP of the All Star Game to their career laurels, with Naf Naf winning it twice).

The Newest Hall of Fame member (51st)

He had to sit one season, but forward Baba Brinkman has earned Veterans Committee status in the MBA Hall of Fame, where he will fit into the picture just ahead of Mable Reed and just behind Marshall Stax. 

The 51st member of the Hall, Brinkman began his career in Dallas as a backup, but found his first true home in Milwaukee, where he became an immediate hit as a top-flight scorer who would lead his clubs in points per game 5 times. He made 7 All Star Games and earned a spot on the All-MBA team in his third campaign when he had career highs in points (19.6) and rebounds (5.1). Versatility was a strength for Brinkman, who also excelled in steals, blocked shots and free throwing. Despite a penchant for unleashing innacurate 3-pointers, he finished his career with a shooting percentage of 64.4 percent. He spent his final three seasons in Los Angeles, culminating in a Season 45 championship in his last go-round, the first title for The Big One. 

TEAM PLAYOFF STATS FOR CHAMPS FROM DALLAS

 

Season 46 Finals Game 4...Sacramento at Dallas

Dallas 71, Sacramento 53

DALLAS DEMONS ROMP TO MBA TITLE 

DALLAS -- The Dallas Demons, led by Hall of Fame star forward Chip "the Crip" Battoe and unsung veteran guard Meat Pants Masterson, ran roughshod over the visiting Sacramento River Dogs 71-53 to capture the Season 46 MBA championship.

The title is the fourth in the franchise's history and the first since Season 28, coming in the team's fifth playoff appearance in the last six seasons.

At no time in this game did the Demons look particularly threatened by Sacramento, who they handled 3  to 1 in the Finals. Starting with a 22-12 lead after the first quarter, Dallas hounded every pass and dribble by the River Dogs, limiting them to just 53 points in the entire contest after allowing 80-plus points to their opponent in the previous two games. They also held the R-Dogs to just 44 percent shooting.

Dallas coach Country Slaughter, the longest tenured leader in the MBA at 30 seasons, made a key move at the urging of franchise director Tyler Masterson with the removal of longtime star Bingo Bango from the starting lineup in favor of Meat Pants Masterson. The thought of nepotism was removed when the sixth-season shooting guard scored a game-high 20 points.

The only hiccup in the dominance of Dallas in this game came in the fourth quarter when, like a nearly burned out light bulb, the visitors played their brightest basketball, cutting the 15-point lead to 10. But they came no closer as the Demons, to the delight of their Guiness-guzzling fans (who spilled their quaff all over each other) regained control and coasted home by an 18-point margin. The victory kept Dallas unbeaten with an 8-0 home record for Season 46.

Previous Dallas championships came in Seasons 20, 21 and 28. This must be considered the second golden age of the Demons, but they will still have to go some to surpass the first, which consisted of two straight titles followed by two more Finals appearances. But with Battoe on the team and the emergence of Meat Pants Masterson, they would have to be the Vegas odds-on favorite at this time going into Season 47.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Who else but CHIP "THE CRIP" BATTOE, Hall of Fame forward for the champion Dallas Demons, would you expect to lead the way in the title game? Battoe tied his own playoff record for blocked shots in one game by slapping away 9 in this game, something he has now done twice in this series and three times overall. (He fell just one blocked shot short of the playoff record 37 set by Dallas Hall of Fame center Max Payne the last time the Demons won it all in Season 28). Battoe had 16 points in this game on 8 for 14 shooting to go with his 9 blocks, grabbing 3 rebounds and dishing out 2 assists. It remains to be seen whether he has earned the MVP of the Playoffs award, the last available honor that has thus far escaped him in his four MBA seasons. He scored the other such honor in this game, securing a championship ring. Going into the season, he was one of just 7 Hall of Fame players who did not have a ring.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Starting his first game in a six-season career, Dallas shooting guard Meat Pants Masterson responded with a game-high 20 point performance, which included three long bombs as he totally out-played his opposite, Potus Obama. Masterson also added 1 rebound, 2 assists and 2 blocked shots, assuring Dallas fans that the loss of Bango will not be so keenly felt in the seasons to come.

-- The game's high scorer in the previous two contests, Sacramento center Tree Fiddy chose to be a distributor in this one, passing out a game-high (tied) 4 dimes while scoring just 8 points. He also led everyone in the game in rebounds with 6, while registering 1 steal and 1 blocked shot.

-- Despite being guarded by the best defensive forward in league history, Sacramento's Doo-rag Dripp turned in his second consecutive 16-point game, leading his team in scoring. The relentless sixth-year player also led the R-Dogs in blocked shots with 3 while pulling down 5 rebounds and doling out 2 assists.

NEXT UP: The announcement of the Playoff MVP and the tallying of the playoff leaders.

MBA Finals...Game 3...Dallas at Sacramento

 Sacramento 80, Dallas 70

RIVER DOGS BARK BIG TO STAY ALIVE

SACRAMENTO--Sacramento gave its Dog Pound faithful something to howl about tonight, besting powerful Dallas 80-70 to stay alive in this Finals series 2 games to 1.

The R-Dogs used a high-tempo third-quarter to break open a close game, out-scoring the visiting Demons 27-20, with Player of the Game Tree Fiddy potting two long treys in the period, sending the home team fans into a mongrel frenzy.

The teams now return to Dallas, where the Demons, unbeaten at home all season, will attempt to wrap up the championship.

Shooting guard Potus Obama of Sacramento shot for shit in the victory, going just 3 for 17, but made up for his goose-like eye by tying the playoff record for steals in one game, pilfering 6.

Meanwhile, league MVP and Hall of Famer Chip Battoe of Dallas had an off night with just 11 points, but still managed a game-high 7 blocked shots.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Sacramento's favorite son, center TREE FIDDY led the game in scoring for the second contest in a row, pouring in 26 points to exceed his total of 24 from the previous game. The 6-8 Fiddy out-quicked the lumbering 7-2 behemoth GoToo Grot of Dallas to go 12 for 15 from the floor, popping in the aforementioned pair of huge treys. He tied Grot for game-high rebounding honors with 7 while leading his team in blocked shots with 3.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Bucking for Playoff MVP, third-year Sacramento point guard Great Gruncle Terry dominated his man Louie Subgum, scoring 18 points, tying Subgum for most assists in the game with 5 and pulling down 4 rebounds.

-- Almost removed from the starting lineup prior to this game, Sacramento forward Doo-rag Dripp responded by out-playing Chip Battoe, despite getting his shot blocked at least 6 more times. Dripp was able to play a good chunk of the game with Battoe on the bench and came away with 16 points, 5 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal and 2 blocked shots.

-- The center position was a point of focus for both teams, with the man in the middle leading both clubs in scoring. GoToo Grot of Dallas led the way for his team with 20 points while tying for game-high in rebounds with 7, blocking 2 shots and adding 1 assist. 

-- Dallas power forward Tiger Masterson has increased his scoring output every game in the finals, peaking with the 19 points he scored in this loss. Masterson also contributed 5 rebounds and 1 assist.

The Steals Record-holders for a single playoff game (the all-time record is 7)

Season 46...Potus Obama, Sacramento vs. Dallas...6 steals

Season 30...Boone Doggle, Philadelphia vs. San Jose...6 steals

Season 27...Moxie Mamalucco, Charleston vs. Oklahoma City...6 steals

Season 23...Joey Two-Tones, Dallas vs. Philadelphia...6 steals

(The all-time record for steals in a game is shared by Moxie Mamalucco of Sacramento in Season 33 and Hall of Famer Dan Mann of Milwaukee in Season 12...both with 7)