MBA Season 43 East Division Preview

1. CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS
PREDICTED FINISH: D-First, T-First
SEASON 42 RECORD AND FINISH: First, 10-0 (5-1) Champions!
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 42
ROSTER TURNOVER: 40 percent (1 new starter)
BIGGEST LOSSES: F-Pietro Destroyer (14.6 ppg)free agency, G-Jesus Moron Joseph (1.4 ppg) free agency
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: None
WEAKNESS: Question mark at starting forward. Will Sheik Yerbouti be able to replace Destroyer? Bench strength.
STRENGTH: Three of the best starters in the league in G-Naf Naf, G-Beezow Bop-Bop and C-J.J. Gargantuan.
LONGEST TENURE ON TEAM: Beezow Bop-Bop ... 8th consecutive season with Mountaineers
THE SKINNY: After completing the best single season in the history of the MBA, the Charleston Mountaineers are still favored to win it all, but they are feeling the hot breath of the Philadelphia Phobia and Dallas Demons from within their own division. The Mountaineers boast a Hall of Fame guard combo in Naf Naf and Beezow Bop-Bop (the only two active Hall of Famers in the league) plus the best center around. Third-year forward Wawa Wewa is one of the up and comers in the game. But losing Pietro Destroyer makes Charleston somewhat vulnerable, which they were not last season.

2.PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA
PREDICTED FINISH: D-Second, T-Second
SEASON 42 RECORD AND FINISH: Third, 5-5
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 38
ROSTER TURNOVER: 30 percent (2 new starters)
BIGGEST LOSSES: G-Brownie McShytles (11.3 ppg)free agent
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: F-Sloppy Dollop (14.2 ppg) in draft, G-Akbar Zagobia (8.3 ppg, 4.6 RPG) in trade
WEAKNESS: Nothing worth mentioning.
STRENGTH: Solid starters at every position, plus superstar at guard in Colquitt Croix. Excellent depth.
LONGEST TENURE ON TEAM: C-Diss Reflexia mans the pivot for the sixth consecutive season.
THE SKINNY: After just missing the playoffs at 5-5, the sleeping giant will presumably awaken this season and may just challenge for the top spot in the East. Seriously improved two starting positions and two back-up positions (F-Shwayze and C-Carga Larga). Only question is whether third-year forward Poodle "Stix" Jackson can repeat his All-MBA season of Season 42 or return to what he was his rookie year -- a solid starter. Either way, Philly is again dangerous.

3. DALLAS DEMONS
PREDICTED FINISH: D-Third, T-Third
SEASON 42 RECORD AND FINISH: Second, 5-5 (3-3)
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 42
ROSTER TURNOVER: 20 percent (2 new starters)
BIGGEST LOSSES: All-MBA power forward Gulemon Mon-Mon (17.5 ppg, 5.2 rpg) retired
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: Top-ranked player in draft, 6-8 rookie forward Chip "the Crip" Battoe and 6-8 rookie center General Horseplay.
WEAKNESS: Still not much depth at back-up forward, but that's nit-picking. Point guard Bootlace Barnaby always a question mark.
STRENGTH: The two rookie additions and guard Bingo Bango (17.9 ppg) can all score. Battoe is a monster defender.
LONGEST TENURE ON TEAM: F-Matthew Vanden Boogart has been in the league 11 seasons, all with Dallas.
THE SKINNY: Dallas replaced longtime favorite and All-MBA forward Gulemon Mon-Mon with the league's most spectacular newcomer since Philadelphia's Colquitt Croix. Battoe is the best shot blocker in the MBA since Jimsy Redfern was knocking away 50-plus per season for Charleston. And Battoe can rebound and shoot as well. Horseplay is an excellent scorer and passer in the pivot. This is a better team than the one that made the Finals last season, but they could be blocked by Charleston and Philadelphia.

4. CHICAGO GALE
PREDICTED FINISH: D-Fourth, T-Fourth
SEASON 42 RECORD AND FINISH: Last, 2-8
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 38
ROSTER TURNOVER: 40 percent (2 new starters)
BIGGEST LOSSES: Forward Reckless Abandon (15.9 ppg) to retirement
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: F-Pietro Destroyer (14.6 ppg) in draft from Charleston and G-Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo in trade.
WEAKNESS: Defense yielded league-worst 82.7 per game is maybe a tad better.
STRENGTH: Proven scoring at forwards (Bill Cull scored 15.9 per game last season) and guard Norman Conquest (over 16 per game his first two seasons).
LONGEST TENURE ON TEAM: G-Norman Conquest, G-Santo Thomas and backup center King Schmeckpepr, 3 seasons each.
THE SKINNY: Getting Destroyer in the draft likely saved Chicago from notching a fourth consecutive campaign in the East Division cellar. They seem much better than Milwaukee, but they are a far cry from the three powerhouse teams ahead of them.

5. MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS
PREDICTED FINISH: D-Last, T-Last
SEASON 42 RECORD AND FINISH: Fourth, 3-7
MOST RECENT PLAYOFF APPEARANCE: Season 40
ROSTER TURNOVER: 30 percent (2 new starters)
BIGGEST LOSSES: Team MVP for the past four seasons, F-Baba Brinkman (18.2 ppg) to free agency.
BIGGEST ADDITIONS: Yet-to-be-determined how big, but lower-ranked rookies G-Hurricane Furrwizard and F-James Payne qualify as additions.
WEAKNESS: Scoring, rebounding, defense. Mostly scoring. Nobody in starting lineup has scored more than 12.8 ppg in any one season.
STRENGTH: None
LONGEST TENURE ON TEAM: 7-1 center Ugatta Noluvfer Spikie has been starter all 7 seasons in Milwaukee.
THE SKINNY: They will vie with Seattle in the West for the worst MBA record and No. 1 pick in the Season 44 draft. Through no fault of his own, Coach Fly Davia will be on the hot seat by the All Star Game break.

NEXT: Previewing the West Division for Season 43.