Season 52 preview and predictions, draft, improvements and first bracket of games

 

THE WEST (all unanimous picks)

First –SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS

A fourth straight playoff appearance is predicted for the finalists from last season. Hall of Fame guard Jesse Shershot is back, going after his fifth straight scoring title. With the retirement of Cremeofsum Yunguy, Shershot will move to the point, where he will dominate the show even more. Four-time All Star Charles Broccoli adds scoring and muscle, replacing retired Lupalin Greenbeard at forward.

 

Second –SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS

Thanks to a fruitful draft, the R-Dogs appear to be back as serious playoff contenders after a three-season post-season absence. They replaced retired Hall of Fame center Tree Fiddy with another Hall of Fame center, trading for J.J. Gargantuan who will play beside two-time All-MBA forward Crentis Dentist and much-heralded rookie Kevin Duran-Duran.

 

Third – LOS ANGELES BIG ONE

Playoff MVP star forward Crentis Dentist exited via free agency and star center Quick Tink retired, so a historic three-peat seems out of the question for the two-time defending champions. Still, they have the maestro point guard Great Gruncle Terry and a new defensive bent to push for the post-season.

 

Fourth – GILLETTE HUMPS

After a franchise-best third-place finish, the still-youthful Humps added just one new player to the roster and will start the same five as last season, almost, to a man, improved.

 

Last – SEATTLE STAMPEDE

Half the roster changed, but none of the five newcomers are starters. Lost best player, forward Charles Broccoli, to free agency and San Jose.

 

 

THE EAST (all unanimous with the exception of third and fourth place)

First – DALLAS DEMONS

With its third consecutive stunningly outstanding draft, the Demons have amassed by far the youngest and most talented starting lineup in many a moon. Add the best rookie guard (Kopi Luwak) and dominant-looking rookie center (Biggus Dickus) to All-MBA guard Juzan Djinn and last season’s Rookie of the Year Satan Israel and you have a prospective undefeated squad and possible dynasty. Rookie forward Pete Marzano, an elite defender completes the ridiculously talented starting lineup, where the oldest player is third-year man Djinn.

 

Second – PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA

Likely the second best team in the MBA, the Phobia have had three consecutive 7-3 seasons and are again serious title contenders this season. That’s despite the loss of shooting guard Vinny Zazeech to free agency (Charleston). Fan favorite and longtime starter Dick Papers replaces Zazeech as Philly takes aim at a 17^th title.

 

Third and Fourth – CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS (Tyler picked them fourth)

After finishing 5-5 the last two seasons, Charleston will need to add one more win to get to the post-season in the tough East. To that end they filled holes at point guard (getting Vinny Zazeech in the draft) and center (trading for Johnny Bananas). They should be competitive, but may fall short yet again.

 

Third and fourth – OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS (Dave picked them fourth)

Fourth on offense last season but league worst defense at 82.5 ppg. Added two star centers, Chochky Galumpkus via trade and rookie Chat Bot in draft. Last time Galumpkus and Handsy Joe Potatoe played together, Lariats made the Finals.

 

Last – MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS

After making playoffs four of last five seasons, the good times appear to be over. The Greyhounds are not awful, but the East is unforgiving.

All MBA from Dave

Guard – Jesse Shershot, San Jose

Guard – Handsy Joe Potatoe, Oklahoma City

Center—Biggus Dickus, Dallas

Forward – Satan Israel, Dallas

Forward – Crentis Dentist, Sacramento

 

All MBA from Tyler

Guard – Jesse Shershot, San Jose

Guard – Ehhy Table, Philadelphia

Center – Biggus Dickus, Dallas

Forward – Satan Israel, Dallas

Forward – D. Fenestration, Philadelphia

 

MVP unanimous

Jesse Shershot, San Jose

 

Rookie of the Year unanimous

Biggus Dickus, Dallas

TEN OR MORE SEASONS

15^th – J.J. Gargantuan (HOF), Sacramento center

15^th—Peter Pizza (cut pile) forward

 

14^th – Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee forward

 

12^th – Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia forward

12^th – Cat Timol, Los Angeles guard

12^th – Bouganvillea Hedge, Sacramento forward

12^th – Al A. Orden, Dallas forward

 

11^th – Spicey Chicken Choop-Choop, (cut pile) guard

 

10^th – Hurricane Furrwizard, Oklahoma City guard

10^th – James “Cherry Challenge” Payne, Milwaukee forward

10^th – Mortimer Masterson, (cut pile) forward

 

 

HALL OF FAME WATCH (5 or more awards)

14 – Jesse Shershot, San Jose (HALL OF FAME)

 

12 – J.J. Gargantuan, Sacramento (HALL OF FAME)

 

9 – Great Gruncle Terry, Los Angeles

 

8 – Crentis Dentist, Sacramento

 

6 – Frog Morton, Charleston

6 – Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

 

5 – Eddie “The Milkman” Creamer, San Jose

5 – Flufferton Springs, Los Angeles

5 – Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia

5 – Cat Timol, Los Angeles

 

 

 

CONSECUTIVE GAMES PLAYED

120 – Raisin Sport, retired Hall of Fame

114 – J.J. Gargantuan, Sacramento and Hall of Fame…string ended

 

110 – Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia…can tie record this coming season

 

80 – Great Gruncle Terry, Los Angeles

80 – Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee

 

60 – Frog Morton, Charleston

60 – Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

 

 

next up: Season opener with Gillette visiting Philadelphia in a cross-over contest.

First bracket

Gillette at Philadelphia

Milwaukee at Dallas

Charleston at Oklahoma City

San Jose at Sacramento (Featured Game)

Seattle at Los Angeles