EAST DIVISION
1. CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS (unanimous No. 1 pick)
Season 39 Record: 6-4 second in division, (5-1 in playoffs)
Major Additions: 6-8 rookie forward Pietro Destroyer, 6-10 rookie forward Eggyolk Carpaccio, 6-8 backup center Hodor
Major Subtractons: Hall of Fame forward Art Vandelay to retirement, super-sub forward Pap Smearz
The Lowdown: Defending champions are one of two MBA powerhouse squads and a heavy favorite to win the division. They lost a pair of excellent forwards from last season's title run but picked up Pietro "The" Destroyer, rated the top rookie forward, in the draft. They also added rookie forward Eggyolk Carpaccio and the best backup center from the cut pile, Hodor, to give them more depth. The big three of Playoff MVP guard Beezow Bop-Bop, All MBA center J.J. Gargantuan and All-MBA forward B. Quiet are all back, and defensive genius Gargantuan has improved. Mel A. Noma will move to the point.
2. MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS (DM-2nd, TM-3rd)
Season 39 Record: 7-3 first in division, (1-2 in playoffs)
Major Addition: 6-2 guard Simon Barsinister
Major Subtractions: Hall of Fame guard Hrundi V. Bakshi
The Lowdown: Milwaukee will be in a dogfight for the second playoff spot in the East. Bakshi's loss hurts. Had just one draft pick this season and wasted it on awful guard Soupy Poops. Six-year vet Simon Barsinister is solid defensively and can score, but is a weak rebounder. Danke Shame is a shut-down defensive forward, Baskets Weaver has improved at guard and 7-1 pivot Ugatta Noluvfer Spikie has sharpened his game.
3. PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA (DM-4th, TM-2nd)
Season 39 Record: 3-7, fourth in division
Major Addition: 6-2 rookie point guard Colquitt "Ouuii" Croix
Major Subtractions: League-leading rebounder forward Davis Phillips
The Lowdown: Colquitt Croix was the top-rated rookie guard and will dazzle with his 3-point shooting. The other guard, Achtu Meinlieber, led the team in scoring last season at 17.5 ppg, and 6-7 Diss Reflexia will continue to amaze as one of the league's most exciting centers. But forwards Buck Naked and Vermin Supreme, acquired in a trade with Chicago, are a weak tandem.
4. CHICAGO GALE (DM-3rd, TM-4th)
Season 39 Record: 6-4, third place
Major Additions: 6-0 rookie point guard La'Quill McCool
Major Subtractions: Hall of fame center Max Payne, defensive specialist guard Poppy Poppalucco
The Lowdown: Could sneak into playoff picture after trade with Philadelphia netted McCool and forward DuDu Dadinga. But neither are great. All-MBA forward Reckless Abandon, and 6-11 center Magnus Dragonhof are best players.
5. DALLAS DEMONS Unanimous last-place pick
Season 39 Record: 6-4, second in West (3-4 in playoffs)
Major Additions: 6-2 sharp-shooting guard Wimsy Greenfoyle
Major Subtractions: All-time leading steals leader Lemon Jell-o, scoring machine T. Kanes Masterson, starting forward Taylor Quackstick.
The Lowdown: Dallas has the state of Texas all to itself, but move from West to East division will be rugged.
WEST DIVISION
1. OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS (unanimous No. 1 pick)
Season 39 Record: 5-5, fourth place
Major Additions: Hall of Fame center Max Payne,6-7 rookie forward Sloppy Dollop
Major Subtractions: None
The Lowdown: In addition to Naf Naf, who has won three MVPs and three scoring titles in as many seasons, the Lariats have two-time All-MBA scoring whiz Yipeekayee Masterfalcon at the other guard, returning Rookie of the Year Bang-Bang Reiner at one forward and talented jumping-jack rookie Sloppy Dollop at the other. Add improved (that's right, improved) Hall of Fame 15-season center Max Payne and Oklahoma City looks unbeatable in the West. The last time Payne stopped here for a season in Season 35, the Lariats won their only title. Tyler predicts a 10-0 season.
2 (tie). LOS ANGELES BIG ONE (DM-3rd, TM-2nd)
Season 39 Record: 1-9, Last-place finish as Houston Iguanas in the East
Major Additions: Hall of Fame 6-7 guard Hrundi V. Bakshi, 6-4 rookie guard Akbar Zagobia, 6-8 forward Pap Smearz
Major Subtrations: None
The Lowdown: The Big One comes rolling into Los Angeles and the West as one of the MBA's most improved teams. Bakshi and Zagobia will be a dynamic guard combination. Both rebound and score, and Zagobia plays defense like an assassin. Pap Smearz is about to emerge as one of the league's top forwards. Top scorer Guy Clark and one-time league MVP Hitler provide depth off the bench. Center. with Steve "Drunk Uncle" Bromberger, could be their Achilles heel.
2. (tie). SACRAMENTO RIVERDOGS (DM-2nd, TM-3rd)
Season 39 Record: 4-6, Last Place
Major Additions: 6-5 rookie forward Flip Testerton, 6-2 rookie point guard Red Reparee
Major Subtractions: Forward Harold Arlen (retired)
The Lowdown: All of Sacramento breathed a sigh of relief when last year's top rookie center Tree Fiddy returned to the team after testing the free-agency waters. Along with reliable scorer Bill Cull and rookie sensation Flip Testerton at forwards, the R-Dogs have a stalwart front line. 6-2 rookie Red Reparee and 6-6 veteran Steve Carter will man the back court. Rookie 6-6 forward Kyle "Parsons Chicken" Sherwood plays defense like he was born to it. Playoffs?
4. SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS (picked fourth unanimously)
Season 39 Record: 7-3, first place (0-2 in playoffs)
Major Additions: None
Major Subtractions: None
The Lowdown: The Amigos are the only MBA team that will start the exact same team as last season. It was enough to win the West in Season 39, but an improved division will make a playoff return a hard road. Three-point specialist YourMajesty Lumpkins and the top rookie center Hunk R. Down will contribute off the bench for now.
5. SEATTLE STAMPEDE (unanimous last-place pick)
Season 39 Record: 5-5 Third place
Major Addition: 6-8 forward Tea Time Typhoo
Major Subtractions: Top-scorer, guard Wimsy Greenfoyle
The Lowdown: Worse at guard, better at forward, a playoff run not anticipated.
A LOOK AT SEASON 40 ROOKIES (IT’S A BUMPER CROP, ESPECIALLY AT FORWARD)
THE ELITE
6-2 guard Colquitt “Ouuii” Croix…starting at point guard for Philadelphia…rookie of year favorite
6-8 forward Pietro “The” Destroyer…starting at forward for Charleston
6-7 forward Sloppy Dollop…starting forward for Oklahoma City
6-4 guard Akbar Zagobia…starting point guard for Los Angeles
6-5 forward Flip Testerton…starting small forward for Sacramanto
7-0 center Hunk R. Down…back-up center to Pippi Pippistrelli on San Jose
6-6 forward Kyle “Parsons Chicken” Sherwood…back-up forward for Sacramento
SOLID PLAYERS
6-6 guard Theon Greyjoy…back-up guard behind All-MBA pair in Oklahoma City
6-10 forward Eggyolk Carpaccio…back-up forward for loaded Charleston team
6-9 center Pat “Bubkis” Moore…back-up center to Tree Fiddy in Sacramento
6-2 guard Red Reparee…starting point guard for Sacramento
6-0 guard La’Quill “McQuill” McCool…starting point guard for Chicago
LACKING
6-10 center Falaftimus Prime…good rebounder, good offense, no defense…cut pile
6-7 forward Wild Bill Connelly…great ball-handler…not great enough…cut pile
6-3 guard Soupy Poops…worth a hearty laugh when Milwaukee got him with lone pick…on bench
6-6 forward Nomo Momo…can score a bit in the paint, but that’s it…cut pile
Only four rookies started on MBA teams last season. Seven are starters this season, and four more have starting potential.
HALL OF FAME WATCH (Players entering Season 40 with 5 or more awards on their card)
Ten needed for Hall of Fame (Six awards possible for a rookie in any one year…five for all others)
ACTIVE HALL OF FAMERS
Hrundi V. Bakshi, 12th season guard, Los Angeles (18 awards)
Max Payne, 15th season center, Oklahoma City (15 awards)
Naf Naf, 4th season guard, Oklahoma City (10 awards)
Seven
Gulemon Mon-Mon, 14th season forward Dallas
Six
Naceg Gecan, 6th season center, Dallas
Diss Reflexia, 5th season center, Philadelphia
B. Quiet, 6th season forward, Charleston
Five
Ginger Vampire, 9th season guard, Seattle
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopitty Bop Bop-Bob, 7th season guard, Charleston
Yipeekayee Masterfalcon, 6th season guard, Oklahoma City
Walt White, 11th season guard, Oklahoma City
Vic Hitler, 5th season forward, Los Angeles
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Sunday, September 24, 2017
Free Agent announcements and other big news
IGUANAS LEAVE HOUSTON FOR LA LA LAND
The Houston Iguanas, one of the original franchises in the MBA, and one of it's storied members, are moving to Los Angeles.
Tyler has yet to come up with a new nickname for the team, but following three consecutive last-place finishes, the Iguana owner rolled a "1" on one die, necessitating the abandonment of the Houston fans. He avoided rolling a "1" or "6" on the next roll, which would have meant the end of the franchise altogether.
Thus, the new Los Angeles location means that this team will move to the West Division, while the Dallas Demons, the franchise furthest to the East, now joins the East Division.
In its 39 seasons in Houston, the Iguanas had a number of distinguished seasons, including four league championships.
They captured the inaugural championship in MBA history, then won again in Season 10 and 12, before ending a long championship drought with their last title in Season 34.
Along the way, the Iguanas established a league record for most points per game in one season, 86.3 in Season 20, and the best record in one season, when they went 9-1 in Season 34, then went 5-0 in the playoffs.
The last three campaigns were a downward spiral of 3-7, 2-8 and 1-9, although that one victory was against the eventual MBA champion Charleston Mountaineers.
The franchise takes up Los Angeles residency as the third California team in the MBA, and chances are they will get out of the cellar in the West. They enter the Season 40 draft without losing one player to retirement or free agency.
The team takes all of its previous records with it, while the league awaits its new name and logo.
HOUSTON THROUGH THE YEARS
These are the free agents, by team, who will be included in the Season 40 draft scheduled for Monday.
As you can see, two teams, the new Los Angeles team and the West Division winners from San Jose, lost nobody to free agency.
Sacramento was hit hard, especially in the loss of promising center Tree Fiddy.
Hall of Fame great Hrundi V. Bakshi will be leaving Milwaukee and another Hall of Famer Max Payne is saying good-bye to Chicago.
Defending champion Charleston loses four players, including forward Pap Smearz, who was a big part of Season 40's plans. They enter the draft with just five players in tow. Dallas is even worse, with just four players.
Seattle loses the last of its Big 3 from their Season 37 championship, as Wimsy Greenfoyle says bye-bye.
THIS IS THE WAY I RANK THE FREE AGENTS IN MONDAY'S DRAFT
CUT PILE IMPROVEMENTS
There is one very significant cut pile improvement. Third-year guard YourMajesty Lumpkins will now take twice as many 3s, having improved his 3-point tendency. Plus, he added a 'GOOD' on 4 in the 3-point shooting zone. With that kind of major improvement, he will definitely make someone's team and might even start. His made 3s are on 4, 5, 6, 8, 10 and 12 and the 6 is circled. And, he can play the point.
The Houston Iguanas, one of the original franchises in the MBA, and one of it's storied members, are moving to Los Angeles.
Tyler has yet to come up with a new nickname for the team, but following three consecutive last-place finishes, the Iguana owner rolled a "1" on one die, necessitating the abandonment of the Houston fans. He avoided rolling a "1" or "6" on the next roll, which would have meant the end of the franchise altogether.
Thus, the new Los Angeles location means that this team will move to the West Division, while the Dallas Demons, the franchise furthest to the East, now joins the East Division.
In its 39 seasons in Houston, the Iguanas had a number of distinguished seasons, including four league championships.
They captured the inaugural championship in MBA history, then won again in Season 10 and 12, before ending a long championship drought with their last title in Season 34.
Along the way, the Iguanas established a league record for most points per game in one season, 86.3 in Season 20, and the best record in one season, when they went 9-1 in Season 34, then went 5-0 in the playoffs.
The last three campaigns were a downward spiral of 3-7, 2-8 and 1-9, although that one victory was against the eventual MBA champion Charleston Mountaineers.
The franchise takes up Los Angeles residency as the third California team in the MBA, and chances are they will get out of the cellar in the West. They enter the Season 40 draft without losing one player to retirement or free agency.
The team takes all of its previous records with it, while the league awaits its new name and logo.
HOUSTON THROUGH THE YEARS
These are the free agents, by team, who will be included in the Season 40 draft scheduled for Monday.
As you can see, two teams, the new Los Angeles team and the West Division winners from San Jose, lost nobody to free agency.
Sacramento was hit hard, especially in the loss of promising center Tree Fiddy.
Hall of Fame great Hrundi V. Bakshi will be leaving Milwaukee and another Hall of Famer Max Payne is saying good-bye to Chicago.
Defending champion Charleston loses four players, including forward Pap Smearz, who was a big part of Season 40's plans. They enter the draft with just five players in tow. Dallas is even worse, with just four players.
Seattle loses the last of its Big 3 from their Season 37 championship, as Wimsy Greenfoyle says bye-bye.
THIS IS THE WAY I RANK THE FREE AGENTS IN MONDAY'S DRAFT
CUT PILE IMPROVEMENTS
There is one very significant cut pile improvement. Third-year guard YourMajesty Lumpkins will now take twice as many 3s, having improved his 3-point tendency. Plus, he added a 'GOOD' on 4 in the 3-point shooting zone. With that kind of major improvement, he will definitely make someone's team and might even start. His made 3s are on 4, 5, 6, 8, 10 and 12 and the 6 is circled. And, he can play the point.
Thursday, September 7, 2017
TOP ALL-TIME PLAYOFF POINT-GETTERS AND GAMES PLAYED
PLAYOFF GAMES AND SCORING
MOST PLAYOFF POINTS
1. Dan Mann 768
2. Uncle Bob Masterson 650
3. Mamadou Zongo 599
3. Sagittal Occlusal 599
5. Boone Doggle 579
6. Doc Watson 511
7. Cam Bodia 509
8. Joey Two-Tones 505
9. T. Kanes Masterson 501 NEW TO LIST
10. Cappy Gambol 489
MOST PLAYOFF GAMES
1. Ed Masterson 49
1. Tug Hershorts 49
3. Raisin Sport 44
4. Cam Bodia 43
5. Mamadou Zongo 42
6. Boone Doggle 41
6. Funsy Van Slochum 41 UP FROM 9th place
8. Slats Southpaw 40
9. Shucks Oyster 39
9. Sagittal Occlusal 39
11. Lemon Jell-o 38 NEW TO LIST
11. Stu Nod 38
11. Oscar Mudcat 38
11. Max Payne 38 NEW TO LIST AND STILL ACTIVE
15. Dan Mann
15. Uncle Bob Masterson
MOST PLAYOFF POINTS
1. Dan Mann 768
2. Uncle Bob Masterson 650
3. Mamadou Zongo 599
3. Sagittal Occlusal 599
5. Boone Doggle 579
6. Doc Watson 511
7. Cam Bodia 509
8. Joey Two-Tones 505
9. T. Kanes Masterson 501 NEW TO LIST
10. Cappy Gambol 489
MOST PLAYOFF GAMES
1. Ed Masterson 49
1. Tug Hershorts 49
3. Raisin Sport 44
4. Cam Bodia 43
5. Mamadou Zongo 42
6. Boone Doggle 41
6. Funsy Van Slochum 41 UP FROM 9th place
8. Slats Southpaw 40
9. Shucks Oyster 39
9. Sagittal Occlusal 39
11. Lemon Jell-o 38 NEW TO LIST
11. Stu Nod 38
11. Oscar Mudcat 38
11. Max Payne 38 NEW TO LIST AND STILL ACTIVE
15. Dan Mann
15. Uncle Bob Masterson
Monday, September 4, 2017
All Time Scorers
ALL TIME SCORERS THROUGH SEASON 39
1. Mamadou Zongo 2,606 points 15.7 ppg 17 Seasons
2. Ching-Chong Chung 2,016 points 16.8 ppg 12 Seasons
3. Doug Fresh 1,904 points 13.3 ppg 15 Seasons
4. Uncle Bob Masterson 1,872 points 19.1 ppg 10 Seasons
5. Hrundi V. Bakshi 1.756 points 16.9 ppg 11 Seasons STILL ACTIVE
6. Motts Biondi 1,548 points 10.6 ppg 15 Seasons
7. Funsy Van Slochum 1,542 points 9.9 ppg 16 Seasons (up from 8th place after Season 39)
8. Dan Mann 1,539 points 17.1 ppg 9 Seasons
9. Doc Watson 1,521 points 16.9 ppg 9 Seasons
10. Achilles Heel 1,499 points 10.2 ppg 18 Seasons
11. Curly Hogbottom 1,494 points 16.6 ppg 9 Seasons
12. Kip Robinson 1,483 points 10.3 ppg 15 Seasons
13. Rip Slamjam 1,483 points 10.9 ppg 15 Seasons
14. Tommy Zoop 1,456 points 20.8 ppg 7 Seasons
15. Mable Reed 1,455 points 14.7 ppg 11 Seasons
16. Benny Gumm 1,452 points 11.9 ppg 13 Seasons
17. Max Payne 1,452 points 11.8 ppg 14 Seasons...new to list...STILL ACTIVE
18. Boone Doggle 1,413 points 15.7 ppg 9 Seasons
1. Mamadou Zongo 2,606 points 15.7 ppg 17 Seasons
2. Ching-Chong Chung 2,016 points 16.8 ppg 12 Seasons
3. Doug Fresh 1,904 points 13.3 ppg 15 Seasons
4. Uncle Bob Masterson 1,872 points 19.1 ppg 10 Seasons
5. Hrundi V. Bakshi 1.756 points 16.9 ppg 11 Seasons STILL ACTIVE
6. Motts Biondi 1,548 points 10.6 ppg 15 Seasons
7. Funsy Van Slochum 1,542 points 9.9 ppg 16 Seasons (up from 8th place after Season 39)
8. Dan Mann 1,539 points 17.1 ppg 9 Seasons
9. Doc Watson 1,521 points 16.9 ppg 9 Seasons
10. Achilles Heel 1,499 points 10.2 ppg 18 Seasons
11. Curly Hogbottom 1,494 points 16.6 ppg 9 Seasons
12. Kip Robinson 1,483 points 10.3 ppg 15 Seasons
13. Rip Slamjam 1,483 points 10.9 ppg 15 Seasons
14. Tommy Zoop 1,456 points 20.8 ppg 7 Seasons
15. Mable Reed 1,455 points 14.7 ppg 11 Seasons
16. Benny Gumm 1,452 points 11.9 ppg 13 Seasons
17. Max Payne 1,452 points 11.8 ppg 14 Seasons...new to list...STILL ACTIVE
18. Boone Doggle 1,413 points 15.7 ppg 9 Seasons
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