Season 35 Predictions

EASTERN DIVISION
1. Chicago Gale: Made playoffs last season for first time in 17 seasons and are now knocking on destiny’s doorstep. Lost nobody to retirements and nobody to preseason dispersal draft while picking up Harold Arlen, the best player on Seattle’s team, in the draft. Arlen is a one-time All-MBA forward elected to two All Star Games. He is among the best rebounders in the game and makes Chicago a formidable club on the boards. His 15 points per game scoring is also most welcome. (Predictions—D-1st, T-1st)
2. Houston Iguanas: Last year’s champions lost power forward Stone Flinthorn to the dispersal draft and saw All-MBA and Hall of Fame guards Hrundi V. Bakshi and Ching-Chong Chung pick up fouling tendencies thanks to advancing age. Chung was, almost, unbelievably cut from the club and will play out the string in Philadelphia. Tyler managed to sneak a much-needed forward (Rogersaurus Adamson) onto the defending champs, who still have enough firepower to challenge for the title again. (D-2nd, T-2nd).
3. Philadelphia Phobia: Lost great Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones but got unexected boost when newly minted Hall of Famer Ching-Chong Chung became available. They grabbed him, despite his declining skills. They still have one of the best centers in the game in Ama Spikie and rookie point guard Jitter Bugg looks like a keeper. (D-4th, T-3rd)
3. Charleston Mountaineers: Lost shot blocking demon Jimsy Redfern at forward and top scorer Chucky “Swishcat” Sellegren seems to have lost a step, but the Charleston team will be interesting because of rookie forwards B. Quiet and Buck Naked, who both show great promise. (D-3rd, T-4th)
5. Milwaukee Greyhounds: Back with exact starting lineup as last season when they finished fourth at 5-5. If they were in the West, they would be serious playoff contenders. Might still in the East. (D-5th, T-5th)
WESTERN DIVISION
1. Oklahoma City Lariats: A finals playoff team last season, the Lariats added one of the most heralded centers in the MBA in Max Payne as well as defensive/rebounding specialist Stone Flinthorn, making them quite possibly the toughest defensive team in the league. Should have no trouble making playoffs in the West, and with players like Lemon Jell-o, Walt White and Taylor Quackstick, are eyeing the first title in franchise history. (D-1st, T-1st)
2. San Jose Fighting Amigos: The Amigos suffered a rare playoff miss last season, but should be right back in the mix this time around. They lost a good shot-blocking center in Gottum Gupta, but picked up an adequate replacement in Kevin Mickle in the cut draft. Power forward Gato Do Mato is one award away from the Hall of Fame and after an off season last campaign, should be ready to get this team back into the playoffs. (D-2nd, T-4th)
2. Seattle Stampede: The Stampede lost rebounding madman and one-time All-MBA forward Harold Arlen to the draft (and to Chicago) and added no one of significance to its lineup. Still, Tyler picks them second in the West. They did get rookie center Two-Lipps Bulbz who is a slight improvement over the pair of mopes they had last season. And who knows, in the West, making the playoffs is a possibility for anyone. (D-4th, T-2nd)
4. Dallas Demons: Added one of the two best rookies in the draft in center Naceg Gecan, a furious 6-10 rebounder. But their lack of talent has them starting another rookie Joe “Blue” Pulaski at small forward, a guy who is also a great rebounder but little else. Getting Gecan was good, but losing potential Hall of Fame center Max Payne to the dispersal draft was probably worse in the short term. (D-5th, T-3rd).
5. Sacramento River Dogs: Added nobody of any significance to team that somehow, some way, made the playoffs last season. The clock has got to strike midnight for the Dogs sometime soon. (D-3rd, T-5th)