Monday, November 17, 2014

34th MBA All Star Game




WEST 74, EAST 68

SACRAMENTO--The West won its 12th all star contest and sixth star-studded affair in the last eight outings with a 74-68 effort.
Smokey Talisker of the winless Seattle Stampede was the game's MVP with a 21-point effort that included 5 boards, 2 steals and an assist.
High point man in the contest was Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi, who had his best all star effort with 22 points.

Moving up on individual all star game lists were:
**Retiring Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones of Philadelphia, who passed Link Lennex on the scoring list to go into sixth place all time with 89 points. (Uncle Bob Masterson is the all time leader with 158 points.) Jones also added to his 3-point leading total by tossing in one more for a grand finishing total of 24.
**Ching-Chong Chung of Houston moved into ninth place all time, with 85 points, passing Stu Nod and Cappy Gambol. Chung's 3-pointer in this game pushed him past Tommy Zoop into third place all time with 16 treys, two behind Momadou Zongo.

Next Up: Back to regular MBA action where some important games await. First up is a battle of the top two teams in the East, where undefeated Houston (5-0) visits Milwaukee. Bakshi and the Iguanas dispatched the Greyhounds 83-67 earlier this season.

Friday, November 14, 2014

SEASON 34 HALFWAY MARK REPORT




5 POINTS OF INTEREST ON FIRST HALF

-- Scoring is down from previous year, with only two teams scoring at least 70 points per game as opposed to double that number last season.
-- Veteran guard Ching-Chong Chung of Houston is having a career year, leading the league in scoring at 22.8 points per game, and that's saying a lot. The 9-season star has led his team in scoring six times. Best year, 20.2, S-31.
-- Home teams have won 15 of the 25 games thus far.
-- East again dominant over the West, winning four of five games thus far.
-- To no one's surprise, Houston has been the dominant team, but Sacramento winning its first three and in contention thus far for a playoff spot, has surprised everyone. They've dropped last two but still have two to play against winless Seattle.

ALL STAR GAME SELECTIONS AND NOTES



ALL STAR GAME POINTS OF INTEREST

-- Although Seattle has zero wins, it has two starters on the West All Star Game team.
-- The 5-10 Ching-Chong Chung of Houston is tied for seventh place all time in All Star Game appearances with seven, and ninth place all time for most All Star Game starts with five.
-- The East has a 22-11 advantage over the West in All Star Game wins.
-- Only one rookie made the All Star Game and it is not highly touted Bop-Bop of Chicago. Art Vandelay of Milwaukee not only leads the league in rebounding, but has earned a starting spot on the East.
-- Four first-time all stars in this season's game and three are in the Eastern Division.
-- Center Achilles Heel of Oklahoma City is by far the oldest all star, currently in his 17th season. Heel made the All Star Game team as recently as three seasons ago (Season 31), but has not earned a starting spot in the game since Season 19, his second season in the league, which is a full 15 seasons ago.
-- Cheetos Jones of Philadelphia, is in seventh place all time in All Star Game scoring and first in 3-point baskets.
Ching-Chong Chung of Houston is 9th all time in All Star Game scoring.
-- The hardest position for making the All Star Game is an East Division guard. Four guards from the East who did not make the East team, would have supplanted the two substitute guards from the West who did make the team. They are: Chuckie "Swishcat" Sellegren of Charleston (21.2), Didger A'doo of Chicago (19.6), Bop-Bop of Chicago (19.4) and Funsy Van Slochum of Charleston (19.2).
-- With the game being played in Seattle, this marks the second season in a row the hosting city does not have a representative in the game. Chicago hosted last season without a player on the squad.
-- Others with 20 or more Game Value Points who did not make the All Star Game (in addition to Sellegren, mentioned above): Houston forward Looky Whos (21.4) and Charleston forward Jimsy Redfern (20.8).
-- Only one All Star Game performer will be retiring after this season (see next entry), but he's a doozy.

RETIREMENTS FOLLOWING SEASON 34



OBSERVATIONA ON RETIREMENTS
-- Philadelphia's Cheetos Jones, the lone Hall of Famer to retire and the only member of this season's All Star Game to retire, currently ranks as the 12th greatest MBA player of all time and the 6th greatest MBA guard to ever grace a tabletop.
-- 13 players will retire after this season, four being starters.
-- The West lost just three players to retirement and just one (questionable) starter, while the East lost 7 players, including 3 starters.
-- Philadelphia, with the loss of Jones and his running mate at guard, Pismo Beach, was the hardest hit by retirement of all franchises. Plus, they lost two others for a total of four players, twice the number lost by the next hardest hit team.
-- Seattle lost both of the centers on their roster...but we use the term "lost" very loosely.



Thursday, October 2, 2014

SEASON 34 PREDICTIONS SEE PHOBIA FINALLY LOSING IRON GRIP ON MBA



THE EAST

1. HOUSTON IGUANAS – With Philadelphia finally on the decline, the path is clear for Season 33’s runner-up to finally nail down their first championship since Season 12. Basically, the same aggregation that finished 7-3 in the rugged Eastern Division, returns this campaign. Wes Montgomery, the third guard scoring machine is replaced by standout rookie T. Kanes Masterson, who will back up Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi and old reliable Ching-Chang Chung, who is the veteran on this team entering his ninth campaign. Although neither starting guard is an accomplished passer, the Iguanas are blessed with two forwards who can jump start the offense in Stone Flinthorn and Looky Whos. Third-year center Sanjay Patel is the weak link in this quintet, but actually stepped up his game in the championship series vs. Philly.
Predictions: Dave 1st, Tyler 1st.

2. CHICAGO GALE – The Gale got the best player in the draft, 6-1 guard Beezow Doo-Doo Zoppity Bop Bop-Bop, who can play at either guard position, and along with third-year man Didger A’doo, gives Chicago an explosive back court. Bop-Bop appears to have no weakness, other then maybe being a little too unselfish. Questions remain in the front line. Chicago, the youngest team in the league, might finally make the playoffs for the first time since Season 17.
Predictions: Dave 2nd, Tyler 3rd.

3. PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA – After five consecutive years of championships and reigning of terror on the MBA, the Phobia finally appear ready to yield the crown to another. Tug Hershorts and Cock A. Doodledoo, two superb performers, are being replaced by lesser talents in Feranmi Okanlami and Pismo Beach. Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones and Ama Spikie will carry the load.
Predictions: Dave 4th, Tyler 2nd.

4. CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS –They finished 7-3 last season but out of the playoffs by one single point. The Mountaineers essentially replaced their best player, guard Lemon Jell-o (gone to Oklahoma City) with defensive specialist Azher Merchant from the cut pile. They still have a talented crew, but will it be enough to break through in the East? It’s dubious.
Predictions: Dave 3rd, Tyler Last

5. MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS – Just ubstitue rookie small forward Art Vandelay for retired Chi City Maine and the Greyhounds return basically the same club as last season’s surprising 6-4 bunch. This is a solid team that could overachieve again. They would be a playoff team in the West.
Predictions: Dave Last, Tyler 4th.

THE WEST

1. SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS – No major changes for the Amigos, who have finished first in the West 7 of the last 9 seasons, including last campaign. San Jose has had a dominant strong forward during that entire run; first Hall of Famer Sagittal Occlusal and now Gato Do Mato, the 6-11 multi-skilled big man who will surely be the league’s next to join the HOF ranks. In just four seasons, The Big Cat has racked up an MVP award, made three All-MBA teams and four All Star Games. His forward running mate L.B. Damned can fill it up, and center Gottum Gupta is an above average defender. But can guards Totes McGoats and Schweaty Ballz step up their game?
Predictions: Dave 1st, Tyler 2nd

2. (Tied) DALLAS DEMONS – Not many teams can lose one of the greatest centers to ever play the position, last season’s MVP and Hall of Famer Tom “the Bomb” Kondla, but the Demons replace him with 7-footer Max Payne, who has two All-MBA stars on his card as well as four All-Star Game appearances and a championship ring from Season 28. Payne, the second best center in the league when Kondla was around, has spent the last three seasons on the Demons bench behind the spectacular big man. Now it’s Payne’s turn to be dominant, and as a ninth-season veteran he looks as good as ever. He will be joined on the Dallas front line by last season’s Rookie of the Year, Puddles Pondhopper, who left Oklahoma City. If the Demons can get anything at all from 6-8 guard Julio Ganatra, they could be a playoff team once again.
Predictions: Dave 4th, Tyler 1st.

2. (Tied) OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS – The Lariats finished 4-1 in the second half last season and picked up superb guard Lemon Jell-o from Charleston, the second-most desired player in the draft. Jell-o, who is a defensive terror and led the league in steals with 18 last season, is above average in just about every category and joins old teammate Walt White at the guard position. White led the league in scoring with 18.5 per game last season and was All-MBA. The Lariats lost Rookie of the Year Puddles Pondhopper in the draft, but were four-deep at the forward position anyway. Starters are the solid Abe Binder at big forward and flashy Taylor Quackstick at small. Seventeen-season vet Achilles Heel may just have enough left for a playoff run.
Predictions: Dave 2nd, Tyler 3rd.

4. SEATTLE STAMPEDE – The only one of Tyler’s teams without a title will remain that way through Season 34. They got solid guard Jerry Curl from Philadelphia in the draft, but who would believe that they will miss the much-maligned Heer Kitty-Kitty at center. They will.
Predictions: Dave 3rd, Tyler 4th.

5. SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS – A really horrible team. A unanimous pick for last in the worst division in the MBA. The saluting dog will be thankful if they can match last season’s 3-7 mark. But they lost defensive specialist Bisquiero Cutoff to retirement and got no help in the draft.
Predictions: Dave Last, Tyler Last.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Post-Season Summary Season 33

Cock A. Doodledoo, the retiring defensive genius guard from the now five-time champion Philadelphia Phobia came out on top of the Playoff MVP voting, edging out teammates Cheetos Jones and Tug Hershorts (who is also retiring). This was the second Playoff MVP award won by Doodledoo, the other coming with the San Jose Fighting Amigos in Season 29. Not only did Doodledoo defensively handcuff last season's Playoff MVP, Hrundi V. Bakshi, but after being injured for most of the regular season, he rebounded to lead all players in playoff scoring with a 19.8 average.

Doodledoo now joins the exclusive pantheon of players who have captured more than one MVP of the Playoffs award. They are:
3 MVPs --- Cappy Gambol, Seasons 3, 4 and 6 (all with Milwaukee)
3 MVPs --- Stu Nod, Seasons 14, 15 and 17 (all with Philadelphia)
2 MVPs --- Dan Mann, Seasons 9 and 11 (both with Milwaukee)
2 MVPs --- Curly Hogbottom, Seasons 19 and 22 (both with Philadelphia)
2 MVPs --- Sagittal Occlusal, Seasons 25 and 27 (both with San Jose)
2 MVPs --- Boone Doggle, Seasons 30 and 31 (both with Philadelphia)
2 MVPs --- Cock A. Doodledoo, Seasons 29 and 33 (first with San Jose, second with Philadelphia)

As you can plainly see, Doodledoo is the only multiple MVP of the Playoffs winner to earn the award for more than one franchise.


Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Phobia completes sweep of Iguanas for fifth straight MBA championship



Philadelphia 71, Houston 63

PHILADELPHIA--What if I told you that the Hall of Fame, top-scoring player in the Season 33 playoffs was completely shut down for the Philadelphia Phobia? THEN would you think that Houston might be able to salvage at least THAT game in this championship series?

If you answered yes to that question, you'd be wrong. Damned wrong. For even with the peerless Cheetos Jones having a horrendous offensive day, going 0 for 7 from the field and scoring zippo points, the Philadelphia Phobia had things well in hand in this title-clinching game to beat Houston soundly 71-63. That gave the defending champions their fifth consecutive championship in a sweep of the title series; a three-game set in which they were never truly challenged.

The hero for the Phobia in this contest, his last as an MBA player, was retiring power forward Tug Hershorts, who led all players with 24 points and 7 rebounds while dishing out 3 assists. When Houston crept within 5 points after three quarters, it was Hershorts who launched and connected on a three-pointer to quash Iguana hopes. It was again Hershorts who delivered a short jumper that put his team up by 10 with 21 time units remaining. He was 11 of 12 against one of the best MBA defenders at the forward position, Stone Flinthorn. Among the variety of hoops were three resounding slam dunks.

This was the third MVP of the Game award in the playoffs for the 6-11 Hershorts, and the championship by the Phobia now gives him six championship rings. That six-ring total ties him for the top spot all time with former Philadelphia Phobia Hall of Fame forward Cam Bodia. And should Hershorts win the MVP of the Playoffs award which is yet to be tallied, he will reach the magic number of 10 individual honors and be enshrined into the MBA Hall of Fame.

This final contest was another picture of frustration for Hall of Fame guard Hrundi V. Bakshi of Houston. Cock A. Doodledoo, playing in HIS final MBA contest, frustrated Bakshi at every offensive turn, holding him to just 10 points on 3 of 11 shooting. His running mate, Ching-Chong Chung, the top Houston scorer in the playoffs, was held to an even lower total, 6 points, by Cheetos Jones.

MOST Championship Rings
6--Cam Bodia, Tug Hershorts
5--Raisin Sport, Slats Southpaw and Ama Spikie

Hershorts and Spikie are the only Phobia players to play on all five of the consecutive championship Phobia temas.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Phobia methodically mows down Iguanas



Philadelphia 78, Houston 63

HOUSTON--Led once again by its amazing backcourt duo of Cheetos Jones and Cock A. Doodledoo, the Philadelphia Phobia seized control early, then held Houston at bay comfortably to go ahead in this championship series two games to none.
Philadelphia now returns home just one victory shy of winning its fifth consecutive MBA championship.

Jones, the MVP of the Game with a game-high 27 points, looks like he could be nabbing the one great award, Playoff MVP, that has thus far eluded his Hall of Fame career.

If he doesn't get it, it will surely go to his running mate, Doodledoo, who racked up 21 points in this latest win.

Both Jones and Doodledoo put the defensive screws to the usually high-scoring tandem of Ching-Chong Chung and Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi, who combined for just 21 points on just 36 percent shooting.

Second-year center Sanjay Patel broke free to lead all Houston scorers with 20 points, but his strong outing was just a doggie bone for the home team crowd looking frantically for any morsel of hope on which to gnaw.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Philadelphia flexes its might in finals opener



Philadelphia 78, Houston 65

PHILADELPHIA--Having just returned from "The City of Brotherly Love" with Phobia team owner Tyler Masterson, it's amazing to this reporter that fans of the four-time defending champions are so certain of their team being MBA kings for the fifth consecutive time that there is nary a word exchanged from the citizenry about it; nor is there a banner in sight urging them to victory.
The ease displayed by the champs in the Game 1 dominance over a fine Houston team is indication as to why Philadelphia fans are so smug and self-assured.
With brilliant ball movement (19 assists, two shy of the playoff record) and a shut-down defense that kept the explosive Iguanas 15 points under their first-round scoring average, the home team Phobia was in complete control of this one, winning 78-65.
One can hardly recall the last time the once-boisterous Philadelphia faithful displayed their penchant for booing their own team. And why should they? This may be the best version of this franchise ever.
Two players in their final go-round led the way to this victory. Cock A. Doodledoo, whose leaving cannot come soon enough for Hall of Fame guard Hrundi V. Bakshi, again frustrated his nemesis defensively while scoring a game-high 23 points. It is the second game in a row that Doodledoo has led the offensive charge for the Phobia.
But even his effort was outdone by ninth season forward Tug Hershorts, who registered his second consecutive triple-double of the Season 33 playoffs. The 6-11 match-up nightmare came into this post-season with just three triple-doubles in an excellent nine-season career, and the big lefty showed that he still has it by cranking out two triples in a row. Plus, his 20-point, 7 assist, 6 rebound performance came against one of the best defending forwards in the league in Stone Flinthorn. At one point, when Hershorts registered three consecutive hoops on a slam dunk, a short swish and a medium string-music maker, Flinthorn held arms out in frustration as he ran downcourt, for he had been in Tug's grill on all three occasions.
Ching-Chong Chung, who came into this series averaging 27.5 points per game, continued to sparkle for Houston, getting 22, despite being guarded by defensive genius and Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones.
It's now on to Houston.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Champs look unbeatable heading to finals



Philadelphia 90, Dallas 67
PHILADELPHIA—The four-time defending champion Philadelphia Phobia advanced in powerful style to their 19th finals by rolling over the Dallas Demons in the best of three decider, 90-67.
The super guard tandem of Cock A. Doodledoo and Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones not only kept their counterparts to less than 10 points each, but scored a game-high 28 and 25 points, respectively. Veteran power forward Tug Hershorts registered the fourth triple-double of his career with 11 points and game highs in both rebounds (7) and assists (5). Center Ama Spikie contributed 15 points against Hall of Fame defender Tom Kondla.
Doodledoo was the Game MVP with his 28 points, 3 steals, 2 rebounds and one assist. Additionally, he was 1-for-1 from 3-point range, 12-for-16 from the field , 3 for 4 from the charity stripe and slam-dunked it home three times.
Kondla, said by some to be the best center ever to play in the MBA, scored 18 points, grabbed 4 boards, blocked 3 shots, snared 2 steals and had one assist in the last game of his career.
Philadelphia will now battle Houston in the best of five finals. Each team beat the other once during the regular season. But in the last meeting, the Phobia laid the wood on Houston, with Jones and Doodledoo completely stopping the offensive power of Houston guards Ching-Chong Chung and Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Iguanas head for championship series



Houston 74, San Jose 65

HOUSTON--Having shrugged off the San Jose Fighting Amigos two games to none, the Houston Iguanas will be appearing in their first championship series since Season 26.

After trailing by two at the end of the first quarter, the Iguanas sent The Terrarium crowd into a hot, sweaty frenzy early in the second as guards Ching-Chong Chung and Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi dropped four consecutive trey-bombs on the visitors which eventually resulted in a 14-point first-half advantage for the home team.

Chung was the MVP of the Game with a game-high 29 points, matching his five 3-pointers from Game 1. San Jose had no defensive answer for the long-ball attack of the eventual victors, as Houston registered 23 treys in the two games compared to just 2 for the West Division champs.

Schweaty Ballz and Gato Do Mato were the only consistent scorers for San Jose in this first-round action.

Houston, which last won an MBA title in Season 12, now awaits the winner of the third game between Dallas and Philadelphia. It will likely be the four-time defending champion Phobia, which has a 1-1 record against Houston this season.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Champs even playoff series with Dallas



Philadelphia 77, Dallas 69

DALLAS--The four-time defending champion Philadelphia Phobia re-asserted themselves with a Game 2, 77-69 road win to even this best of three series. The finale will be in Philly.

It's nearly impossible to beat the champs when Hall of Fame point guard Cheetos Jones has a 50 percent shooting game like he did in this one. Jones, a co-MVP of the Game, led all scorers with 22. His teammate, veteran forward Tug Hershorts, was the other honored player with an 18-point, 6 rebounds, 4 assists performance.

The Demons from Dallas were, however, not embarrassed in this one getting strong games from their front line and a 9-assist effort from point guard Fat Bob Herzfeld.

The Demons stayed within a decent run away from Philadelphia, but it was a run that never came.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Houston guards shatter 3-point playoff record



Houston 94, San Jose 82

SAN JOSE -- Houston Iguanas' trio of sharpshooting guards divided a playoff record 15 3-point buckets equally on the way to a 94-82 road win against the San Jose Fighting Amigos. Ching-Chong Chung and Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi each poured in a game-high 26 points for Houston, and Wes Montgomery, playing his final season, subbed for both guards at one point or another and struck for 22 points of his own. All three knocked in 5 treys, shattering the longstanding Season 3 playoff record of 12 3s set by Cappy Gambol and Milwaukee against Charleston.

That they did so against the top defensive team in the league (statistically) was a huge surprise, as was the ease in which they accomplished the rout. In this case, the top 3-point-shooting team in the MBA thoroughly trumped the defensive leader, as Montgomery's trey halfway through the third quarter tied the record at 12.

Only an amazing fourth quarter by San Jose kept Houston from the century mark in scoring, as the home team closed the gap from 24 points all the way down to 8 by game's end.

Bakshi and Gato Do Mato, two former teammates from Milwaukee, now playing on opposite sides of this best of three opening playoff series, shared MVP of the Game honors.

Monday, August 11, 2014



Dallas 74, Philadelphia 73 (Round 1, Game 1)

Demons steal Game 1 at the horn

PHILADELPHIA—With his team looking like it would fall just short of a win, Dallas Demons forward Rogersauras Anderson corralled a full-court pass under his team’s basket with one time unit remaining in the game, turned and scored the game-winner over Tug Hershorts for a 74-73 upset triumph to open the Season 33 playoffs.

It was an incredible finish and an unlikely outcome, especially in view of the first-quarter dominance by the four-time defending champions, who led 22-11 after one. At that point it looked like the Phobia guard combination of Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones and Cock A. Doodledoo would be way too much for the visitors from the West.

But beginning in the second quarter, Dallas began to look like they belonged in this contest as they continually fed the 6-10 Adamson to attack the weakest Philadelphia defender, Tug Hershorts. And with Jones launching 14 treys and hitting just 4, Dallas worked their way all the way back and into 60-57 lead on a 3-point play from Adamson.

The Demons stretched the advantage to seven before Philadelphia recovered and regained the lead 71-70 on a 3-point shot by Jones with 14 time units left.

Nice try, Dallas, was the general feeling at this point, but Philly doesn’t rattle.

But (who else?) Adamson, playing the game of his index-card life, responded with a short jumper to put his team back in front 72-71 with 3 time units left.

Then with 2 time units remaining, Jones was fouled on a shot and went to the line for a pair of free throws. To that point, he was just 1 for 4 from the charity stripe, but the Hall of Famer showed his moxie by nailing both throws to give his team a 73-72 lead.

Then came the long pass, the shot by Adamson and the shocking win for the Demons, who now need to win just one of the next two games to eliminate Philadelphia in what would be an incredible turn of events.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

33rd All Star Game

EAST 78, WEST 63

CHICAGO -- The East, behind six-time all star point guard Ching-Chong Chung of Houston, took control of this one in the second quarter and never let go, winning 78-63 for the dominant division's 22nd victory in this long series. It is exactly twice the wins accumulated by the West.
Chung, the 5-10 sparkplug, won the MVP of the Game award in this star contest for the first time, popping in a game-high 28 points that included 6 for 9 from beyond the arc. He added 2 rebounds, 2 blocks and an assist. His running mate at guard, Steve Carter of Milwaukee, gave the East a lethal combo at the position, getting 21 points and snaring a game-high 7 rebounds in his first all star contest. Another first-timer, Charleston center Muito Bom, also had a good game with 13 points, 5 rebounds, 2 assists and a pair of steals.
Gato Do Mato was the lone outstanding player for the West. The deft 6-11 forward led his team with 23 points while nabbing 6 boards and blocking two shots.

All Star Milestones
* Tom Kondla of Dallas finished his all star career adding three blocks to a career all star game total of 16. That puts him second on the all-time list with 15 blocks, just one short of leader Curly Hogbottom's 16.
* Jimsy Redfern of Charleston blocked three more shots, giving him a career all star total of 14 to move past Boone Doggle and into third place on the blocks list right behind Kondla.
* Ching-Chong Chung also moved up on two lists. He's now third all-time in career 3s (15) behind Cheetos Jones (23) and Mamadou Zongo (18). Chung is tied with such MBA luminaries as Tommy Zoop, Uncle Bob Masterson and Doug Fresh. He passed up Cappy Gambol and Stu Nod, both of who had 14 career 3s in all star competition. All of those mentioned are Hall of Famers.
* Chung also moves up the career all star scoring list, now resting in 9th place with 85 points. He passed Nod and Gambol on that list as well and rests one point behind Marcus Pettis and Cheetos Jones. The all-time leader is Uncle Bob Masterson with 158.

NEXT UP: A huge game to open the second half of the season, with Philadelphia (3-2) at red-hot Milwaukee (4-1). The Greyhounds have not lost since suffering an opening game setback to these very same Phobia 68-54. A defeat would put the four-time defending champs from Philly in a tough position to make the playoffs in the East. A win puts them right back into the thick of things.

Monday, June 23, 2014

SEASON 33 AT THE HALF (more than any fan needs to know)



Mba leaders at the half

SCORING
1. Chung, Houston 18.9
2. Carter, Milwaukee 18.2
3. Jones, Philadelphia 16.8
3. White, Oklahoma City 16.8
5. Kondla, Dallas 16.6

REBOUNDING
1. Flinthorn, Houston 6.4
1. Arlen, Seattle 6.4
1. Kondla, Dallas 6.4

ASSISTS
1. McGoats, San Jose 4.0
2. L. Jell-o, Charleston 3.0
2. Van Slochum, Charleston 3.0
2. Lava, Milwaukee 3.0
2. Hershorts, Philadelphia 3.0

STEALS
1. Lemieux, Sacramento 8
2. L. Jell-o, Charleston 6
2. Do Mato, San Jose 6


BLOCKED SHOTS
1. Redfern, Charleston 40
2. Whos, Houston 22
3. CityMaine, Milwaukee 15

3-POINT SHOOTING
1. Herzfeld, Dallas 88.9 percent 8 made
2. White, Oklahoma City 72.7 percent 8 made
3. Bakshi, Houston 66.7 percent 10 made

FREE THROW SHOOTING
1. Arlen, Seattle 100 percent 14 made
2. Redfern, Charleston 100 percent 10 made
3. Chung, Houston, 93.3 percent, 14 made

TOP SCORING GAMES
34 points—Ching-Chong Chung, Houston vs. Chicago
32 points—Schweaty Ballz, San Jose vs. Seattle
30 points—Cheetos Jones, Philadelphia vs. Seattle

MVPS OF THE GAME
1. Redfern, Charleston 4
2. Do Mato, San Jose 3
3. Hershorts, Philadelphia 2
3. Jones, Philadelphia 2





All star notes:
* Although the game will be played in Chicago, no Gale players made the team
* Ching-Chong Chung makes his 6th all star game, one of just 23 players in MBA history to do so and the first to reach the milestone since Season 23 when Linus Mandrake made it for Milwaukee the sixth time. Of the 23 who made six all star games, only Marcus Pettis (7), Flash Cola, Dolf Whizbang, Mandrake and now Chung have not made the Hall of Fame. Chung, in his 8th season, would tie Silo Chamberlin as the shortest Hall of Famer at 5-10 if he makes the Hall.

MOST ALL STAR GAME APPEARANCES
10-Uncle Bob Masterson
10-Momadou Zongo
9-Curly Hogbottom
8-Doug Fresh
8-Jonny Cockaroo
7-Boone Doggle
7-Rip Slamjam
7-Tommy Zoop
7-Cam Bodia
7-Marcus Pettis
7-Diamond Dallas Paige
7-Bill Rustler
7-Sagittal Occlusal
6-Soul Duran
6-Raisin Sport
6-Mable Reed
6-Link Lennex
6-Flash Cola
6-Doc Watson
6-Guru Gannon
6-Dolf Whizbang
6-Linus Mandrake
6-Ching-Chong Chung


* The East has won 21 games, the West has won 11, but the West has won 5 of the last 6

* The only former MVP of the All Star Game on either roster is Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones, who won the honor twice.

* There are 11 first-time All Stars, over half the field. Only one rookie made the team. Two oldest players are both in their 9th season.

* Conspicuous by his absence is Houston's Hrundi V. Bakshi, the league's other active Hall of Famer.

* Worthy players squeezed off the team: guard Bakshi of Houston (20.4)and forwards Nobby Nabob of Chicago (20.8) and Bruno Pantanal of Milwaukee (20.2)


MBA LOSING SOME SUPERB TALENT TO RETIREMENT

Retirement announcements hit the MBA with a force rarely seen in the past, including the biggest name of all, the enigmatic but unworldly talent, center Tom "The Bomb" Kondla of Dallas bowing out of the league after just six short seasons, five of which he totally dominated the position. Kondla, a shot-blocker and rebounder extraordinaire (to say nothing of his superb scoring ability) will undoubtedly retire and go straight to the Hall of Fame, despite his truncated career. Still, Dallas will not be without a nearly equal replacement in Max Payne, the 7-footer generally acknowledged to be the second best center in the league who has had to play the last three campaigns behind Kondla.
Twenty-two retirements means that the league will be losing 6 players next season in total volume (since 16 rookies enter every season).
But quality trumps volume in Season 33. Among the greats leaving the game will be:
* Defensive genius Cock A. Doodledoo, injured for the third time in his career this season
* Longtime quality power forward 6-11 Tug Hershorts, who was a part of so many championships.
* Sharpshooting guard Wes Montgomery, who exploded on the scene with consecutive scoring titles.
* A pair of shot-blocking wonders in Bisquero Cutoff and Kuch Kuch Hotahey
* And of course, Kondla
* The man who will go immediately to the very end of the retirement envelope, Jalapa Valley, who spent 16 years sweating to make the MBA, but instead took up the longest residence in history in the cut pile.

Only Philadelphia loses more than one starter.


























Wednesday, June 11, 2014

THE MBA HALL OF FAME


MOST RECENT HALL OF FAMER


Six seasons and out for one of the greatest centers to ever grace a tabletop. Was All-MBA five consecutive years and closed out career with only MVP award of the regular season. Led league three times in blocked shots, including a record 59 in Season 31. Fits in Hall of Fame right behind center Rip Slamjam and guard Shucks Oyster. Ranks as 22nd best player all-time and fifth best center ever behind Diamond Dallas Paige, Jonny Cockaroo, Bill Rustler and Rip Slamjam.



ACTIVE HALL OF FAMERS



Bakshi currently ranks right behind Rip Slamjam and right in front of Shucks Oyster.
Jones currently ranks right behind Doug Fresh and right in front of Marshall Stax.

THE HONOR ROLL

Tuesday, March 18, 2014




PHILADELPHIA 67, MILWAUKEE 62

The big, bad title machine that is the Philadelphia Phobia added championship number 14 and a record fourth consecutive to its ridiculous total, besting the Milwaukee Greyhounds 67-62 to win the finals series 3 games to 1.
Philadelphia, led by the 16-point effort of Sunny Osiris, the only newcomer to the starting lineup from a season ago, broke open a tight contest in the third quarter, then held the challengers at bay in the final stanza.
But perhaps the biggest turn of events in this game came late in the first quarter, when regular season MVP Gato DoMato, the power forward for Milwaukee, was injured and unable to continue in the contest.
Hrundi V. Bakshi, the two guard for the Greyhounds, led everyone in scoring with a 24-point performance. Bakshi would later be named the MVP of the Playoffs for the first time in his Hall of Fame career. Aside from the 15-point effort from DoMato's replacement, the veteran Chi CityMaine, Bakshi would get little offensive help from his teammates in this losing effort, the one finals game in which defense trumped powerful offensive squads.
The Season 32 championship won by the Phobia put a ring on the proverbial finger of point guard Cheetos Jones and earned him Hall of Fame honors, making him the 34th player to join that illustrious notebook.



As stated previously, Hrundi V. Bakshi was an easy choice for Playoff MVP for Season 32. His 22 points-per-game average was the fourth highest total ever in the playoffs, and he was the third-best rebounder in the playoffs from his guard position.
Philadelphia center Ama Spikie was runner-up in the voting, followed by newly christened Hall of Famer Cheetos Jones.
Ed Masterson of San Jose, who retires to join brother Bat as a deputy marshall in Tombstone (where he will be gunned down in the street) added to his most games played number in the post-season, bowing out with a whopping 49 playoff game appearances.
Masterson's teammate, Hall of Famer Sagittal Occlusal, also retiring, finished an illustrious career with 39 games in the playoffs (7th all time) and 599 points (tied with Momadou Zongo for third all time -- the top two are Dan Mann 768 and Uncle Bob Masterson 650).
Tug Hershorts, Philadelphia's power forward, has now played in 43 playoff contests, tied with Cam Bodia for third all time.
Another season in the books, folks. Another Philadelphia championship.

Friday, March 7, 2014

MBA FINALS SEASON 32



PHILADELPHIA 83, MILWAUKEE 73 (GAME 3)

MILWAUKEE--Thanks largely to second-string guard Pismo Beach, the Philadelphia Phobia are now just one win away from capturing an unprecedented fourth consecutive MBA championship.
Beach, subbing for the fouled out Jerry Curl, scored 11 fourth-quarter points as Philadelphia broke open a tight contest to go ahead in the Finals 2 games to 1.
The game was typical of each of these championship contests, which have all been up and down affairs in which neither team cowed to the defensive prowess of the other. In this one, both teams cranked up 60 shots, about 10 shots more each than a team puts up in a typical contest.
Cheetos Jones, who stands to gain Hall of Fame status with another Phobia title, was the Game MVP with a game-high 22 points, 5 rebounds an assist and a steal. The 5-11 point guard also did his usual defensive number on the opposing guard, holding Benny Lava to 10 points below his playoff average.
Jones was not particularly successful from 3-point range, but yakked up 9 treys in a determined attempt to take over the game.
Meanwhile, Milwaukee's Hall of Fame guard Hrundi V. Bakshi, although leading his team with 18 points, did not attempt a single trey.
The Phobia now have a chance to clinch the title on their home court, with two chances to get the one win needed to make every index card on the team immortal.

SPECIAL OBSERVATION: Just to indicate how remarkable Philadelphia has been in this four-season stretch, whether they win it all or not, consider this:
Only two members of the current Philadelphia roster, forward Tug Hershorts and center Ama Spikie were on the roster when the Phobia won the first of its current string of titles in Season 29. So even as they were practically turning the roster over, Philadelphia has retained remarkably consistent excellence.





PHILADELPHIA 82, MILWAUKEE 78 (Game 2)

PHILADELPHIA--After the stellar performance of Philadelphia center Ama Spikie in this one, coach Curly Hogbottom might be ordering all of his players to stare blankly at the wall in front of them for some five minutes at a time.
Spikie, whose unusual Zen method was noted in the previous post, went off in a "must win" Game 2 for a leading 25 points to spur the three-time defending champions to an 82-78 win that evened this championship series at one game each. Spikie was 11 for 13 from the floor, including a pair of 3-pointers, nabbed 4 rebounds, dished out 3 assists and blocked 2 shots while holding his counterpoint Heater VanMeter to 6 points.
The MVP of the Game's efficiency was indicative of the offensive excellence on display by both teams, with Milwaukee shooting 64.2 percent and Philadelphia 60.7 percent, despite their opponents' strong defensive abilities.
Hrundi V. Bakshi followed his 34-point Game 1 explosion with a 20-point outing in this contest, but Milwaukee could never close the gap entirely, although they stayed within reach of Philly throughout the game.
The Greyhounds trailed by 12 with a time unit to go in the third quarter, when Bakshi drained an acrobatic trey, was fouled and converted his free throw to keep his team within 8 points going into the final frame.
The visitors got within three, but after Sunny Osiris muscled his way to the hoop for a bucket that increased Philly's lead to 68-63, Milwaukee coach Raisin Sport went ape-shit on the sidelines, throwing his coat on the court and drawing a technical foul.
Spikie made the subsequent free throw for the Phobia, then passed to Osiris for another Philadelphia basket to give his team a comfortable 71-63 lead that they held to the end, despite another late Milwaukee charge.
Did Sport's histrionics cause his team the game?
"Well," noted Milwaukee guard Benny Lava, "if we would have made our fucking free throws this could have been our game."







MILWAUKEE 101, PHILADELPHIA 73 (GAME 1)

MILWAUKEE--The Milwaukee Greyhounds, led by the 34-point effort of Hall of Fame guard Hrundi V. Bakshi, registered the MBA's first 100-point game of Season 32 to win the opener of the best of five finals series against the three-time defending champion Philadelphia Phobia.
The 101-73 victory was the third in three meetings this season against the Phobia, as the home team played a practically perfect offensive game, coming within five points of the playoff scoring record set by the same Milwaukee franchise in Season 6 against Dallas.
All five Greyhound starters were in double figures and had excellent games, but none more so than the MVP of the Game, Bakshi. The 6-7 guard was red-hot from the start, hitting his first 11 shots in a game in which he was 15 for 17 from the floor. His 34 points was four short of the MBA playoff scoring record set by Dan Mann of Milwaukee on two occasions (Season 9 and Season 12).
Milwaukee, which has now bested Philadelphia in all three of their meetings this season, out-rebounded the Phobia 26-12, shot 66.2 percent from the field and put up an astonishing 71 shots in the game.
"We may have to put Cheetos Jones on Bakshi," said Philadelphia's head coach, Curly Hogbottom. "That's hard for us to do because it takes Jones away from the point, where he is so effective offensively. Plus, Lava has been playing very well for them and could really go off if we move Jones off of him."
An exhausted Ama Spikie would not answer any questions after the game, staring at the wall, just inches away, as if in a motionless trance for a prolonged period of time in the locker room.
"He does that sometimes after a loss," said Hogbottom. "He'll be ready for Game 2."

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Season 32 Playoffs...Semifinals

Milwaukee 69, Sacramento 51 (Game 1)

MILWAUKEE--Veteran point guard Benny Lava (game-high 22 points, game-high 6 rebounds)led the way for the home team Greyhounds who took over after a close first half and coasted to a 69-51 decision in the first of the best of three playoff games.
Lava and All-MBA Hall of Famer Hrundi V. Bakshi (18 points)proved to be a potent one-two punch for Milwaukee. The league's top scoring team shot 51.9 percent compared to the league's worst point-producing bunch, which was held to just 46.2 percent accuracy. The stats held true in the rebounding department as well, as the best team in basketball mauled the worst in that department 23-12.
Zingo Mamaluke played well for the losing River Dogs, scoring 18 points and recording three steals.
The game saw a plethora of thefts, with the River Dogs recording six while the Greyhounds accounted for eight. Blocked shots were flying all over as well. Sacramento recorded 11 blocks, and Milwaukee nearly matched that number with 10.


Milwaukee 83, Sacramento 56 (Game 2)

SACRAMENTO--The beating was more thorough this time, with the Greyhounds of Milwaukee shamelessly picking on the underdog River Dogs 83-56 in front of the losers' home crowd.
It was the Milwaukee guards again leading the way and this time Benny Lava was joined by running mate Hrundi V. Bakshi as co-MVP of the Game. Lava led both teams in scoring again with 21 points, despite fouling out, and Bakshi rang up 19, while leading his team with 5 rebounds.
Stretch Cunningham led Sacramento with 14 points and both teams with 6 boards.
The Greyhounds now await the winner of the Philadelphia-San Jose series to play for the MBA title for the first time in 12 seasons.
Milwaukee's franchise has not advanced this far since Hall of Famer Tommy Zoop left the franchise after the team fell one game short of a championship in Season 20. Zoop was a fresh-faced rookie the last time the Greyhounds tasted champagne from the MBA loving cup, way back in Season 18. Milwaukee has been eliminated in the first round five times since the Zoop era ended.
Still, they trail only Philadelphia in overall titles, winning seven times in the first 18 seasons.

San Jose 80, Philadelphia 60 (Game 1)

SAN JOSE -- The Fighting Amigos shocked the basketball world in this semifinal opener, clobbering the three-time defending champion Phobia 80-60 in a game they dominated from start to finish.
Fat Bob Herzfeld (18 points, 4 steals) delivered a 4-point play on the first time unit of the ball game, hitting a trey, getting fouled and making his free throw. And the Amigos were off to the races, despite the fact that Tyler Masterson was tossing the dice for the Philadelphia team.
L.B. Damned (21 points, 4 rebounds, 2 blocks) was the Game MVP for San Jose. Herzfeld's back court mate Funsy Van Slochum added 15 more for the winners.
Meanwhile, the toughest defense in the league was holding Philly to 43.6 percent shooting, making the next contest between these two a do-or-die for the Phobia.

Philadelphia 91, San Jose 66 (Game 2)

PHILADELPHIA--Apparently the Philadelphia Phobia is comfortable on its home floor. With every starter in double figures and none scoring fewer than 14 points, the three-time defending champs not only stayed alive in their hunt for a fourth title, they made a bold statement with this game, exceeding the 20-point margin of victory of San Jose in Game 1 and scoring 91 points against the best defense in the MBA.
After a close first half in which they led 42-39, Philadelphia totally dominated the third and fourth quarters. Center Ama Spikie was the game's high scorer with 24 and the MVP of the Game. Tug Hershorts, the Phobia's 6-11 power forward, registered the second triple-double of his career, scoring 15 points, grabbing a game-high 6 boards and dishing out 5 assists.
The Fighting Amigos blocked nine Philadelphia shots, but it mattered little, as the home team shot a smoking 61.3 percent while getting off 62 shots in the process. Jerry Curl chipped in with 17, Cheetos Jones had 15 and Sunny Osiris added 14 in the romp.
The only notable scorer for San Jose was Game 1 MVP L.B. Damned, who had 18.
The win sets up a winner-takes-the-series showdown in Game 3 at San Jose.
Batten the hatches.


Philadelphia 81, San Jose 76 (Game 3)

SAN JOSE--A 31-point fourth quarter by the home team Fighting Amigos was not enough to make up a 16-point deficit, so the Philadelphia Phobia will have a chance to go after their fourth consecutive title.
San Jose cooked its own goose with 10 fouls in the opening quarter that gave Philly 9 points at the charity stripe and a more-than-solid 26-14 lead. The advantage increased at the end of the next two quarters, thanks to some smoking 3-point shooting by the visitors (10 for 14 from long range).
But with no hope in sight and Cheetos Jones fouled out for Philly, the Amigos began a comeback that saw them cut the 16-point deficit to 8, then 6, then 4 points at 76-72 before Philadelphia's power forward Tug Hershorts (12 points) delivered the dagger in the form of a 3-point basket, putting an end to the late charge.
Hall of Famer Sagittal Occlusal, playing in his final contest for the San Jose franchise, was at the forefront of the comeback attempt and named the Game MVP for his game-high 21 point performance, which included 5 rebounds and 2 blocked shots.
They will never see his like again.
Cheetos Jones led Philadelphia in scoring with 20 (including 5 for 8 from 3-point range), and again, all five starters were in double figures for Philly.
When it came down to it, the calling card of San Jose, the league's best defense, was trumped by the offense of Philadelphia.
The Phobia, the franchise with the most titles in MBA history (13), will now face the franchise with the next-most titles, Milwaukee (7).
The two Eastern Division powers met twice in the regular season, with Milwaukee winning both encounters; the first a home win (69-54) and the second an 84-76 overtime win on Philadelphia's home court.
The two franchises have met in the MBA finals five times prior to this, in Seasons 4,6,11,18 and 19. The first four times they met in the finals, Milwaukee was victorious. But Philadelphia prevailed in Season 19, which happens to be the last time the Greyhounds made it to the final series.
Until now.

Thursday, February 27, 2014