MBA Season 31 Playoffs

SAN JOSE EVENS SERIES
CHARLESTON - As expected, this semi-final series will go the full three-game distance; with the only surprise being that the wins by the San Jose Fighting Amigos and the Charleston Mountaineers both came on the road.
In this one, San Jose, led by first-team All-MBA small forward L.B. Damned's game-high 24 points, held off a fourth-quarter charge to secure a 78-73 triumph.

Damned's effort came against perhaps the top defensive forward in the league, Jimsy Redfern, and included scoring from all over the court, including a 2-for-2 day behind the 3-point arc. Meanwhile, Redfern had another stellar game, getting the seventh triple-double of his career with a line score of 10 points, 5 rebounds and 5 blocks. He was one assist away from becoming the first MBA player to record more than one quadruple-double. Only Redfern and J.D. Jedreat have ever recorded a quad.

Walt "Heisenburg" White ignited a near-comeback off the bench for Charleston, bringing the home team within four points halfway through the final quarter, draining 3s to score 12 of his team-high 19 points.

The series, even at one game each, returns to San Jose for the third and deciding game to determine which club goes to the finals.

MBA Playoffs Round 1

Phobia shows no fear of River Dogs
PHILADELPHIA - After pounding them 94-46 during the regular season, the two-time defending champion Philadelphia Phobia gave the Sacramento River Dogs little hope to win this best of three preliminary playoff round, destroying the visitors 90-63.

League MVP Cheetos Jones was spectacular as usual, leading all scorers with 29 points and recording a pair of steals and a pair of blocked shots while fouling out two River Dogs who tried haplessly to guard him. He was the game MVP, but not the only one to turn in an excellent game for Philly. Hall of Famer Boone Doggle, playing in his final playoffs prior to retirement, recorded the 7th triple-double of his illustrious career. He had it secured by the third quarter. Phobia center Ama Spikie was also superb with 22 points in the post.

Kuch-Kuch Hotahey led Sacramento with 22 points.

SEASON 31 PLAYOFFS

CHARLESTON WHOOPS UP ON SAN JOSE IN GAME 1

SAN JOSE - The high-flying Charleston Mountaineers, featuring a record-tying blocked shots performance by game MVP forward Jimsy Redfern and a balanced scoring attack, destroyed the MBA's best defense with an 85-65 Game 1 trouncing.
The offensive explosion came despite the lack of Charleston's top scorer, Hall of Famer Mamadou Zongo, who is lost to the Mountaineers due to injury.
They did not seem to miss him, shooting 75 percent from the floor, taking just 40 shots. San Jose sent Charleston to the line 25 times, with the Mountaineers coming within two made free throws of a playoff record. The visitors stunned the Western Division champions on the boards, too, out-rebounding them 21-9.
The Mountaineers can advance to the finals with a home win in the next game.
NOTES
-- Redfern's MVP performance included tying for game-high scoring honors with 19, 3 steals and the previously mentioned record for blocked shots (8). He joins J.D. Jedreat and Max Payne in the playoff record books for blocked shots in a game. Jedreat, playing for Charleston, blocked 8 Philadelphia shots in Season 8 and Payne of Dallas matched that number against Charleston in Season 28.
-- Redfern's consecutively made free throw streak came to a halt at 35 when he finally missed on his fourth try of this game.
-- Ed Masterson of San Jose surpassed Raisin Sport in most playoff game appearances with this, his 45th playoff game.

Season 31 Summary

SEASON SUMMARY

Cheetos Jones and the two-time defending champion Philadelphia Phobia led the league in scoring capturing the East, while San Jose led the league in defense for the sixth consecutive season to wrap up the West.



The unstoppable Jones and his 26 points per game became the first Phobia player since Stu Nod in Season 14 to win a scoring title and came within 8 points of breaking Tommy Zoop’s 26.7 scoring average record for Oklahoma City in Season 24.

Bull Bunson led the league in assists for a record-tying fourth time and Jimsy Redfern of Charleston and Kuch-Kuch Hotahey of Sacramento tied for the league title in free-throwing, each sinking a perfect 19 for 19 on the year. It was the second consecutive year Redfern did not miss a free throw; he was 13 for 13 the previous year.

Third-year center Tom “the Bomb” Kondla gave the last-place Dallas Demons fans something to watch in Season 31 as he broke his own single-season blocked shots mark with 59 swat-aways. Playing for his fourth team in as many seasons, Kondla also set a new record for most blocks in a game (10) and most triple-doubles in a career (10).

Jones and Milwaukee’s Hrundi V. Bakshi accounted for six of the seven top scoring games of the year, but the biggest single-game scoring barrage came from 5-10 Houston point guard Ching-Chong Chung, who exploded for 41 against Milwaukee.



The MVP campaign by Jones was the first for the dominant Phobia since all-time great Curly Hogbottom garnered the award in Season 22. It marked the eighth time a Philadelphia player captured the honor.

Milwaukee small forward Bruno Pantanal became the fourth Greyhound player to win Rookie of the Year honors, the last being Bakshi in Season 29.

Guards Jones and Bakshi and center Kondla sewed up first-team All-MBA honors for the third consecutive season, while the forward spots went to first-timers Gato Do Mato of Milwaukee and L.B. Damned of San Jose. This was one of the youngest All-MBA teams ever. Not one of the quintet is older than four seasons.


PLAYOFF PREVIEW

PHILADELPHIA (8-2) VS SACRAMENTO (6-4)

The Phobia, gunning for its third-consecutive title, should make short work of the River Dogs, who are making surprised in the West to capture their first playoff berth since Season 24.
The key for Sacramento was their defense at the forward position, where Kuch-Kuch Hotahey and Bisquiero Cutoff made life tough for the opposition. Cutoff, however, was hurt in the final game of the regular season and will only return if the River Dogs miraculously make it past the first round. Starting guard Zingo Mamaluke, who has played on the last three championship teams, will also be lost to Sacramento in the playoffs.
Meanwhile, the Phobia, in the final season of Hall of Famer Boone Doggle, will attempt to become just the second team in league history to win three title in a row.

SAN JOSE (8-2) VS CHARLESTON (7-3)

No team has been in the finals more often lately than San Jose, with the Fighting Amigos making the championship round four out of the last six seasons, but the league’s best defensive team will have its hands full with the Charleston Mountaineers in round one of Season 31.
San Jose is led by forwards L.B. Damned and Hall of Famer Sagittal Occlusal. Charleston, which beat out the favored Milwaukee Greyhounds for a playoff spot, will be without Hall of Famer Mamadou Zongo, who will likely miss all of the playoffs for the second year, thanks to injury.


OTHER MBA NOTES

To answer the query of MBA fan P. Davia, the record for the longest MBA win streak belongs to (who else) the Philadelphia Phobia, which won 13 consecutive. The Phobia won three straight to capture the Season 5 title, then rattled off a 10-0 season in Season 6 before finally coming up short in the first game of the Season 6 playoffs. The Season 5 and 6 Philadelphia team is generally considered the best in league history, and is the only team to start an all-Hall of Fame lineup. They were: Uncle Bob Masterson, Oscar Mudcat, Alex Pal, Raisin Sport and Rowdy Ron Clutch. Milwaukee would eventually beat them for the Season 6 title.
The Houston Iguanas of Season 26 won 12 games in a row before finally bowing in the championship round to the eventual champs from Charleston.

AND FINALLY

Season 31 marks only the third time in league history that three of Dave’s teams have advanced to the playoffs in the same campaign. The other two times were Seasons 17 and 27.
In comparison, Tyler teams have dominated post-season play in 20 of the previous 30 playoffs. Three of Tyler’s teams made it to The Final Four in 17 seasons. And in Season 19, Season 20 and Season 23 (we refer to those as “the dark years”) all four playoff teams were provided by the Ty guy.

Madman game!!!!!!

Houston 107, Milwaukee 101
Iguanas now 3-6, Greyhounds now 5-4
Game MVP Ching-Chong Chung of Houston, 41 points, 3 assists, 1 rebound, 1 steal
Hrundi V. Bakshi of Milwaukee gets 30 in losing effort.
Chung's running mate at guard Wes Montgomery gets 26.
Rookie forward Bruno Pantanal of Milwaukee scores 20.
Next game: Charleston (5-3) at Seattle (4-4)

Chung's 41 points is the highest total (by 6) for any MBA player in Season 31.
Chung's total of 41 ties him for sixth all time with Uncle Bob Masterson for the most points scored in one game. He is the first player to make the single-game scoring list since Funsy VanSlochum of San Jose went crazy and scored 42 in Season 26.

This marks just the second time in MBA history that both teams reached the century mark in the same contest. The last (and only other) time it happened was 10 seasons ago in Season 21 when Seattle set the record for most points in a game, outscoring Oklahoma City on May 19, 2006, 118-103. Center Gram Parsons was the only player to have played in both historic games. He played sparingly for Milwaukee in their loss tonight, but was a giant contributor, scoring 27 points off the bench for Seattle in their Season 21 triumph. By the way, no player on either side scored more than 27 points that game, with Nipple Rings Raguski also scoring 27 for Seattle.

The Houston-Milwaukee barn burner was reminiscent of the last game of the Season 29 campaign which determined which of these same two teams made it into the playoffs. Milwaukee won that game at home 93-88, despite a game-high 30 points from the 5-10 Ching-Chong Chung of Houston.

Although this has been a down year for Houston, they have the distinction of being the only team to beat Philadelphia thus far in Season 31. When both Chong and Montgomery are hot simultaneously, the Iguanas have shown they can play with anyone.

This latest Milwaukee loss gives Charleston two chances to clinch a playoff berth in either their next game against Seattle or their final game against Dallas. Meanwhile, Milwaukee can only cling to fading hopes by winning its final season game against powerhouse Philadelphia.

It must also be reported that the Sacramento River Dogs also clinched a playoff berth in the West with their latest win over Oklahoma City. A check of the records indicates that they cannot be headed by Seattle even if the Stampede wins out, since the first tie-breaker (division wins) belongs to Sacramento. The River Dogs thus advance to the playoffs for the first time since Season 24. The dog on the envelope salutes you for breaking this six-season dry spell.

SEASON 31 HEADING FOR HOME

It is officially crunch time in the MBA as the last fifth of the regular campaign of Season 31 gets under way. All but three of the 10 teams have a shot at the playoffs.

As of now, only San Jose has clinched a playoff spot.

Philadelphia, the two-time defending champion, looks to be in the driver's seat in the East, with Charleston (without injured superstar Mamadou Zongo) trying to hold off Milwaukee for the second spot. The Mountaineers have an easier road, with remaining games against the West's Seattle and Dallas teams, while Milwaukee needs to win out against Houston and Philly to keep their hopes alive. Charleston holds the cards in the event of a tie-breaker, having bested Milwaukee twice during the season.

In the West, San Jose has clinched its sixth playoff spot in the past seven seasons, with Sacramento, Seattle and Oklahoma City, in descending order of likelihood, jostling for the final perch. Oklahoma needs to win out to keep its hopes alive and faces a do-or-die game against Sacramento right away. A win by Oklahoma City opens up numerous possibilities in the three-way race, with Sacramento facing San Jose in the finale while Seattle plays Oklahoma City.

No matter how things shake out, Philadelphia has to be considered the favorite for the championship, yet again.

In the individual achievement department, Philadelphia's point guard Cheetos Jones is running away with the scoring title, averaging 26.9 points per game. He is currently ahead of the all-time mark of 26.7 registered by Hall of Famer Tommy Zoop, set in Season 24 for Oklahoma City.

Jones also seems to be way ahead in the MVP race. Rookie of the year seems to be between Dr. Gottum Gupta, Oklahoma City's center, and forward Bruno Pantanal of Milwaukee.

Jones, guard Hrundi V. Bakshi of Milwaukee and center Tom "the Bomb" Kondla of Dallas look like shoo-ins for their third consecutive All-League team. L.B. Damned of San Jose leads all forwards for one of the two available all-league forward spots, and any one of five others could get the coveted star.

Kondla looks like he will destroy his blocked shots record for one season, which he set two campaigns ago with 52 swats while playing for Houston. He has 50 now with two games remaining.

Answering Fly Davia

CUT PILE HEROES AND OTHER FUN FACTS

To answer the queries of Phil Davia, Dog Dirt Davis is a relatively young 7-seasons old; Jebediah "the Reverend" Wacknut is 9 and the Davia favorite Buck-Buck Bagaak is currently in his 11th season (the last five of which has been spent in the cut pile.)

To further respond to cut-pile inquisitor extraordinaire Davia, the player with the most cut pile time at present
is the center Pug Mahone, who has spent 14 full seasons in the cut pile and parts of others in his 20-season “career.”
He did spend parts of six other seasons in the league on someone's squad, but only one entire season on anyone's roster since joining the league way, way, way back in season 9. That was Season 16, which he spent with Houston, getting in 9 games and producing a 1.8 points per game average on 50 percent shooting.

If you’re looking for someone who has never seen the MBA light of day, we present guard Jalapa Valley, who is currently in his 14th consecutive cut pile season and will return to add to that string next campaign. It is the longest anyone has ever spent in the cut pile without ever seeing actual action. It will be interesting to see if Pug Mahone or Jalapa Valley will eventually claim the all-time title, since both are still “active.”

Thirteen other players who have retired from MBA non-action did so without stepping on an MBA table. They are:

Frank “Free Drinks” Meridien (6 seasons)
Tico Ticotac (6)
Silvio Banian (6)
Orville Gibson (6)
Skip Dingles (6)
Rudy Shmegangas (7)
Buddy Sorrell (7)
Epi Phone (7)
David Skywalker (8)
Kent Powers (8)
Wa-Wa Chuckles (9)
Stumpy Stewart (11)
Grumbles Williamson (11)

31st MBA All Star Game

EAST BREAKS WEST WINNING STREAK

The East Division all stars, behind the MVP performance of Philadelphia's Cheetos Jones (7 for 14 on 3s) crushed the West in the 31st MBA All Star Game, 82-60. It was Jones' second All Star Game MVP in three appearances and the performance added to his leadership in the career event for treys. He has been the game's top scorer in the last three All Star contests.
Momadou Zongo of Charleston and Boone Doggle of Philadelphia were playing in their last all star contest and both added to their Hall of Fame careers with their performances.
Zongo became the all-time steals leader in all star games with two more for a total of eight. He also ended up fifth on all time scoring in all star games Doggle's 3 blocks put him second all time in all star games to the great Curly Hogbottom. Doggle ended with 13 to 16 for Hogbottom. Doggle added five rebounds to move him into third all time in that all star game department.

The MBA will resume action with Charleston (4-1) at Philadelphia (4-1) in the next contest.

MBA Season 31 at Halfway Mark

CHARLESTON, SAN JOSE LEAD DIVISIONS AT THE HALF
The Charleston Mountaineers and San Jose Fighting Amigos lead their respective divisions at the halfway mark in Season 31, with perennial power and two-time defending champ Philadelphia showing no signs of slowing down.
The big surprise is favorite Milwaukee, pulling into the all-star break in last place and preseason favorite in the West, Seattle, registering a 1-4 record thus far.




EAST LOADED AS ALL STAR GAME AWAITS
It's no surprise that the East is favored to win the 31st All Star clash. Any team that has the MVP of the last two seasons, Hrundi V. Bakshi, coming off the bench, has got to be considered a powerhouse.
But, keep in mind that although the East leads the west 20-10 overall in the star contest, the West has won the last four contests.
Also, consider the stars that did not make the team:
* Guard Lemon Jell-O of Charleston, who would be a starter on the West squad.
* Guard Jerry Curl of Philadelphia, who would also start on the West.
* Hall of Fame forward Sagittal Occlusal, who is the only member of the Fighting Amigos starting lineup to NOT make the team.
Other Notes:
--The only rookie in the game will be forward Bruno Patanal of Milwaukee.
--Mamadou Zongo of Charleston ties Uncle Bob Masterson for most all star game appearances with 10.
--Zongo's eigth all-star start moves him into second all time behind the nine of Curly Hogbottom.
--Boone Doggle of Philadelphia's seventh all-star game ties him for the sixth most appearances.
--Doggle's seventh start moves him into a tie for third in starts with Uncle Bob Masterson.
--Zongo is currently fifth-highest in points scored in all star competition, tied for first in steals, second in three-point baskets, fourth in assists and third in blocked shots.
--In just two all-star games, guard Cheetos Jones of Philadelphia is the all time all-star game leader with 16 three-point baskets.
--Doggle currently third all-time in all-star rebounding.




LAST TIME AROUND FOR ZONGO, DOGGLE
The MBA will be losing two of its greatest stars of all time at the conclusion of this campaign.
Hall of Famers Mamadou Zongo and Boone Doggle have both announced that they will retire following Season 31.
Zongo, who has played at the highest of levels for 17 seasons, will retire as either the second- or third best guard of all time behind Uncle Bob Masterson and (currently) Cappy Gambol. Zongo, who has played for six of the 10 league fanchises, will finish his stellar career among the top four players ever to play in the league.
Doggle, the tallest man at 6-10 to play the small forward position, will finish a seven-year run as either the third- or fourth-best forward ever behind Curly Hogbottom, the active Sagittal Occlusal and right there with the great Link Lennex of Houston. Doggle has played for four franchises in nine seasons.
Also hanging it up, longtime Charleston great Benny Gumm, now toiling for Seattle, Charleston starting forward Soh Cah Toa and longtime starter Jebediah Wachnut of Sacramento. Gumm will retire with a shot to make the Hall of Fame via the Veteran's Committee.

MBA Season 31 Preview, Predictions and current standings

Season 31 rookies have been created (with Seema Masterson again making rookies), veteran dispersals completed, the draft held, improvements and deprovements and final roster cuts made, and the new campaign is already underway. Here, then are the team by team breakdowns following the predictions of both league owners. Keep in mind, the Phobia was not even picked to make the playoffs last season and won it all.

THE WEST

1st or 2nd (Dave 1st, Tyler 2nd) Seattle Stampede:
Previous Year: Fourth place 2-8
Retirements: none
Dispersal losses: Starting point guard Bull Bunson, reserve guard Fat Bob Herzfeld
Draft wins: Exceptional two guard Cock A. Doodledoo from San Jose
Picking up the shut down defender Doodledoo is enough to shoot the Stampede to the head of the class in the very weak West. In addition to his defensive prowress, Doodledoo was third in the league in scoring with a 19.3 ppg average last season. The team’s leading scorer from last season, Smokey Talisker, also looks vastly improved . The last time Seattle finished first was in Season 10.

1st or 2nd (Tyler 1st, Dave 2nd) San Jose Fighting Amigos:
Previous year: Second place 8-2, lost in finals to Philadelphia 3 games to 1
Retirements: Reserve guard Dutch Pettis (no big loss)
Dispersal losses: Cock A. Doodledoo (huge loss) team’s top scorer past two seasons.
Draft wins: Nobody of exception to speak of.
The Fighting Amigos have been a force in the West for the past six seasons and should continue to be in Season 31, despite the costly loss of Doodledoo, mainly because the West is very weak. Word is that superstar forward Sagittal Occlusal has lost a step, but second-year forward L.B. Damned is on the upswing. The Amigos, always the best defensive team, will not be as dominant in that department.

3rd (consensus) Oklahoma City Lariats:
Previous year: Last place 1-9
Retirements: Reserve guard Boss Driver
Dispersal losses: Team MVP of previous year, guard Jerry Curl
Draft wins: Rookie center Dr. Gottum Gupta, guard Bull Bunson from Seattle
Despite losing their best player from a year ago, Jerry Curl, the Lariats should produce a better record than the putrid one they posted last season, and should challenge for a playoff spot. Bunson, who tied the record for assists, and Gupta, a favorite for rookie of the year, should add offense and defense.

4th (consensus) Sacramento River Dogs:
Previous year: 3rd Place 4-6
Retirements: None
Dispersal Losses: Top scorer guard Wes Montgomery, reserve guard Schweaty Ballz
Draft wins: Defensive specialist forward Bisquiro Cutoff from Dallas and guard Zingo Mamaluke from Philadelphia
Losing Montgomery hurt, but adding Cutoff to go with forward Kuch-Kuch Hotahey will make it difficult for opposing forwards to get off a shot. The big question is: who will put points on the board for Dogs?

5th (consensus) Dallas Demons:
Previous year: 1st Place 9-1, lost in first round of playoffs to Philadelphia 2 games to 1
Retirements: Starting guard Tipsy O’Sullivan, guard Hacksaw Rooney
Dispersal losses: Hall of Fame guard and leading scorer Mamadou Zongo and 4-time all-star forward Bisquiro Cutoff
Draft wins: All-MBA center Tom Kondla
Decimated by retirements and dispersal losses, and getting Kondla forces league’s other great center Max Payne to the bench. In Season 30, Dallas did not change one single player on its roster from the previous campaign. In Season 31, all five of their starters have changed.


THE EAST

1ST (consensus): Milwaukee Greyhounds
Previous year: 1st Place 8-2, lost in first round of playoffs to San Jose 2 games to 1
Retirements: None
Dispersal losses: None
Draft wins: Rookie forward Bruno Patanal
The Greyhounds have slowly put together a killer team, adding a pair of top-flight rookie forwards in the past two drafts and transforming themselves from a weak rebounding to a strong rebounding club. The 6-7 Bruno Patanel joins last season’s outstanding addition Gato Do Mato to start at forward. Two seasons ago they added two-time league MVP and scoring champ Hrundi V. Bakshi. The best news, however, may be that Bakshi’s playoff nemesis, Cock A. Doodledoo of San Jose, who has blocked the team’s playoff advancement the past two seasons, is no longer on that squad.

2nd (consensus) Philadelphia Phobia
Previous year: MBA Champions—7-3, second place, then 5-2 in post-season, beating Dallas, then San Jose in title series.
Retirements: Top reserve forward Rickety Rack
Dispersal losses: Two guard Zingo Mamaluke and backup center Bascomb Ducksnort
Draft wins: Excellent second-year two guard Jerry Curl and veteran two-guard sharpshooter Pismo Beach.
The Phobia, like Milwaukee, seems able to fill in the holes in its starting lineup at will. They lost starter Mamaluke but replaced him with Curl, who is bigger, younger and better in every way. Hall of Fame forward Boone Doggle appears to have lost a step, but playing in the league’s tallest front line with Ama Spikie at center and Tug Hershorts at the other forward, Doggle’s advancing years may not be noticed. And of course, there’s two-time All-MBA point guard Cheetos Jones. The Phobia are again strong contenders to get a third straight title, a feat only they have achieved in MBA history. We somehow picked them third in their division last year and they won it all.

3rdor 4th (Tyler 4th, Dave 3rd) Charleston Mountaineers
Previous year: Fourth place, 4-6
Retirements: Starting center Trey Bon
Dispersal losses: No one to speak of
Draft wins: Hall of Fame point guard Mamadou Zongo and superb rookie shooting guard Chucky “Swishcat” Sellegren.
Zongo enters his 17th season in the league and will be bringing his formidable skills to his sixth MBA stop. The best 3-point shooter in history is slightly deproved, but rookie Sellegren will fill in for the veteran if needed. The Mountaineers also return heady, do-everything guard Lemon Jell-O, last season’s Rookie of the Year and one of the best shut-down defending forwards in Jimsy Redfern. Second-year center Muito Bom and veteran Soh Cah Toa are 6-11 and 6-10, respectively, and both can hit the boards.If they were in the West, Charleston would be the best team in the division. But they will be in a dogfight to beat out Milwaukee and Philadelphia for a playoff spot.


3rd or 4th (Tyler 3rd, Dave 4th) Houston Iguanas
Previous year: Last place, 2-8
Retirements: None
Dispersal Losses: Starting two guard Pismo Beach
Draft wins: Two-time MBA scoring champion guard Wes Montgomery from Sacramento, center Bascomb Ducksnort from Philadelphia, and rookie guard Julio Ganatra.
The Iguanas have a potent scoring pair at guard with Ching-Chong Chung and newly acquired Montgomery, although neither is much in the rebounding department. Philadelphia backup Ducksnort will get a chance to prove he is worthy of a starting position. The Iguanas still have four good forwards, two of whom will have to step up to seize starting roles for good. Rogersaurus Adamson, Stone Flinthorn, Looky Whos and Deafman Glance are all potentially good forwards who could start on more than a few teams, but none of them played solid ball last season. Backup rookie guard Ganatra enters the league as the tallest player ever at his position, 6-foot, 8-inches. The Iguanas could be in the hunt.

5th (consensus) Chicago Gale
Previous Year: 3rd place, 5-5
Retirements: Starting forward and three-time all-star Bunson Burner
Dispersal Losses: All-MBA center Tom Kondla and backup center Montezuma Rico
Draft wins: Rookies Nobby Nabob, a forward and guard Poppy Poppalucco, who both show some promise and center Gene Wrangler from the cut pile.
The one guy the Gale could not afford to lose, all-everything center Tom Kondla, they lost. As a result, the 13 consecutive seasons without a playoff appearance will undoubtedly stretch to 14, especially since Chicago is in the powerful East Division. They have about eight decent players, interchangeable in their roles, but no real star to bank on. Gale fans, therefore, must hunker down to watch yet another scrappy team fall short on their eternal wait until next year.

At this writing, the Season 31 league standings are as follows:

East
1st Houston 2-1
2nd Charleston 2-1
3rd Philadelphia 2-1
4th Milwaukee 1-2
5th Chicago 1-2

West
1st Sacramento 3-0
2nd San Jose 2-1
3rd Oklahoma City 2-1
4th Dallas 0-3
5th Seatttle 0-3

CHARLESTON CHANGING NAME, LOGO

Beginning Season 31, the Charleston Rebels will be changing their name to The Charleston Mountaineers. A new logo on a new team envelope will accompany the change.
This is being done for the following reasons.
1. The team, as originally formed, makes its home in Charleston, West Virginia.
2. The team was mistakenly nicknamed The Rebels under the assumption that West Virginia supported the Confederate States of America during the War Between The States.
3. The fact of the matter is that once the war broke out, the western portion of Virginia, because they did NOT support the Confederacy, formed its own state, which is, of course, West Virginia.
4. The logo for the Charleston team was selected as a Confederate flag, and has, in fact, been wrong for 30 seasons.
5. Now seems to be a great time to correct the mistake, since the back of the envelope where year-by-year records are recorded, is full.
6. With the old nickname and logo, Charleston, West Virginia could easily be mistaken as being Charleston, South Carolina, the latter being definitely a Confederate States state.
7. The Rebel flag is in this day and age, politically incorrect and continues to gain in political incorrectness as the years go on. As owner of the Charleston franchise, I am increasingly uncomfortable with one of my teams being associated with the Rebel flag.
8. The new name, The Mountaineers, is taken from the saying on the West Virginia state flag "A Mountaineer is always free."
9. All old records will carry over from the old name to the new for this franchise.

Here is the old and new team logos.

30-YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL

PHOBIA CAPTURES 12TH TITLE
PHILADELPHIA--The defending champion Philadelphia Phobia, sparked by its two least heralded players, ran off to a 12-2 start and spent the rest of the game successfully holding off the San Jose Fighting Amigos on the way to a 12th championship. For the second game in a row, second-year center Ama Spikie (23 points, 5 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 blocks) won game MVP honors to lead the way. He was accompanied by teammate Zingo Mamaluke, who registered 18 points in the win.
Cock A. Doodledoo returned from injury to pace San Jose with 23 points, but the Fighting Amigos could not compete on the boards with the big Phobia front line, nor match the shooting efficiency (63 percent) of the champions.
Hall of Famer Boone Doggle of Philadelphia was named Playoff MVP, the first time he has captured the post season honor and the second MVP of his career.

ROWDY RON CLUTCH GAINS HALL OF FAME ENTRY
It has been announced from on high that former Philadelphia Phobia forward Rowdy Ron Clutch, via the veterans committee, has gained entry into the MBA Hall of Fame.
Clutch, an MBA original who retired after Season 9, was named three times to the All-MBA first team and elected to four all star games. He was a member of the first Phobia championship team way back in Season 5. Clutch's election means that the entire starting lineup of the early Philadelphia quintet have now earned the MBA's highest honor. He joins teammates Uncle Bob Masterson, Oscar Mudcat, Raisin Sport and Alex Pal in the hallowed hall, representing perhaps the greatest team in league history.
Rowdy Ron, at 6-7, was a versatile performer who began his career in Milwaukee and ended with a three-year stint heading the expansion Dallas team. At one time or another he led his team in every single category (points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks, free throws and shooting percentage).

COMING SOON
Watch your mailbox for news of the compilation of the 30th Anniversary ALL MBA Teams for each of the 10 franchises.

PHOBIA BRINGS THE HAMMER DOWN
SAN JOSE--Led by the 25 points of second-year center Ama Spikie and the triple-double performance of Hall of Famer Boone Doggle, the Philadelphia Phobia destroyed the short-handed San Jose Fighting Amigos 90-58 in the important third game of the MBA finals.
The victory gives the defending champions a 2-1 lead in the series and moves them to within one triumph of clinching their 12th title.
Operating without their top scorer, guard Cock A. Doodledoo, the home team Amigos managed to stay close for a half in a high-scoring game before Philadelphia blew their doors off with a 25-point third quarter.
While Spikie and 6-11 forward Tug Hershorts (18 points) were dominant inside, Doggle was busy dishing off a game-high 6 assists, pulling down five rebounds and tying a playoff record with 6 steals in one game.
Rookie forward L.B. Damned sparkled in the scoring column for the losers with 20, but the effort was not enough to keep pace with the frantic scoring attack of the Phobia.
Doodledoo returns for Game 4, which the Amigos will have to win on Philadelphia's home court in order to stay alive.

PHOBIA TIES SERIES; AMIGOS LOSE TOP SCORER
PHILADELPHIA--Injuries and fouls hampered the San Jose Fighting Amigos down the stretch and the defending champion Philadelphia Phobia prevailed in Game 2 action to even the series with a 64-59 win. The victory sets the Phobia up nicely for Game 3, since San Jose leading scorer Cock A. Doodledoo will be out with an injury that is expected to last just that one more game.
Doodledoo, who led all scorers with 14 points at the time, went down with a badly swollen left ankle early in the third quarter and his team trailing 33-31. Despite the loss of their brilliant two guard, San Jose hung tough thanks to the clutch shooting of replacement Yip Silcati (10 points) until team leader the second-leading scorer Saggital Occlusal (team-best 15 points) fouled out halfway into the fourth with Philly ahead 54-53. From there, the Phobia ground down their diminished opponents for the five-point triumph.
The Phobia was again led by Hall of Famer Boone Doggle, whose versatility shined throughout. The 6-10 small forward scored 15, pulled down 5 rebounds, dished out four assists, blocked two shots and registered one steal. Meanwhile, his teammates provided balanced scoring, with three other Philadelphia players scoring in double digits. Doggle was designated Game MVP, the third time he has been so-named in five playoff contests.
Following the game, San Jose signed rookie cut pile guard Cookieland Jenkins to a one-game contract.

AMIGOS STAY HOT, WIN FINALS OPENER BY 10
SAN JOSE--Dominating the backboards and playing outstanding defense, the San Jose Fighting Amigos took over the finals opener in the second quarter and held on for a 70-60 win on their home court.
Philadelphia threatened momentarily to close the gap near game's end, mounting a comeback after leading scorer Cheetos Jones fouled out and going on an 8-0 run to close within four before the Amigos pulled away for the final margin of victory.
All five San Jose starters played admirably, with Funsy VanSlochum holding Jones to half his regular season point total, Cock A. Doodledoo and Saggital Occlusal ripping the cords for 20 points each, rookie L.B. Damned continuing his major offensive contributions with a 7 for 7, 15-point day and 16-year veteran Achilles Heel leading all with 9 caroms.
Occlusal and fellow Hall of Famer Boone Doggle of Philadelphia, garnered co-MVP honors for the game, with Doggle netting a game-high 21 points.
This marks the second meeting of the season between the two clubs; the Fighting Amigos also registering a 66-62 regular season win over the Phobia, who was missing Jones at the time.
Also of note, San Jose's Ed Masterson moved into third place all time in playoff games played with 41. The all-time leaders are as follows:
1. Raisin Sport...44
2. Cam Bodia......43
3. Ed Masterson...41 (active)
4. Slats Southpaw.40
4. Momadou Zongo..40 (active)
6. Stu Nod........38
6. Oscar Mudcat...38
8. Dan Mann.......37
8. Uncle Bob Masterson..37

AMIGOS RETURN TO FINALS
MILWAUKEE--For the second season in a row, the San Jose Fighting Amigos will do battle with the mighty Philadelphia Phobia in the best of five championship series.
The Amigos earned the trip (their fourth finals appearance in six seasons) with a convincing 81-66 road win over Milwaukee, eliminating the Greyhounds for the second season in a row.
As he did last season, shut-down defender Cock A. Doodledoo hounded the league's leading scorer Hrundi V. Bakshi into a state of submission, holding the two-time regular season MVP to just two points while scoring a game-high 23 of his own.
Rookie small forward L.B. Damned had another superb offensive showing, registering 21 points for the Amigos for the second consecutive contest.
Last season's finals between Philly and San Jose went the full five games. The Phobia had home court advantage last season, but this time around the advantage goes to the Fighting Amigos.
Philadelphia, representing the East, and San Jose, representing the West, each finished in second in their respective divisions during the regular season.
Should be a good one.

PHOBIA HANGS ON TO CONTINUE TITLE DEFENSE
DALLAS--For the second year in a row the Philadelphia Phobia eliminated the Dallas Demons in a decisive third game of the semifinals, winning 59-57 in a contest befitting its significance.
Philadelphia got unlikely heroics from the usually role-playing Zingo Mamaluke, who led the victors with 19 points, including 13 in the third quarter and a short jumper that gave his team a four-point lead with time running out.
The final points came from Dallas stalwart Hacksaw Rooney, who again led all players in scoring with 21 and kept his team in the contest throughout. Subbing for the injured Hall of Famer Mamadou Zongo throughout the series, Rooney, playing in his last season, missed a fast break basket with four ticks left that would have tied the game.
A lynch mob (or was it a congratulatory crowd) was awaiting Rooney outside the locker room as we went to press.
Philadelphia,already holding a record 11 titles, now awaits the winner of the next game between San Jose and Milwaukee to contest the MBA championship.

L.B. DAMNED, SAN JOSE EVENS SERIES
SAN JOSE--Rookie small forward L.B. Damned registered game-highs in points (21) and rebounds (9) in leading the San Jose Fighting Amigos to a 65-54 win over the Milwaukee Greyhounds, evening the semifinal series and sending it to a decisive third game.

PHOBIA SURVIVES SLOG-FEST
PHILADELPHIA--The defending champion Philadelphia Phobia led big early, then hung on at game's end to win 55-50 to send this semifinal series to a third and deciding contest.
Left for dead entering the final quarter, the Dallas Demons, trailing by 11, got within three points of Philadelphia in this low-scoring contest before game MVP and Hall of Famer Boone Doggle potted a trey late to seal the deal.
Hacksaw Rooney of Dallas, the hero of Game 1, did not score from the field until late in the third quarter, but still ended up leading his team in scoring with 13.

GREYHOUNDS CRUSH AMIGOS IN GAME 1
The Milwaukee Greyhounds turned the tables on the league's best defensive team in Game 1 of this best of three semi-final, holding San Jose to just 39 percent shooting on the way to a 70-48 victory.
It was over early, with defensive star Cock A. Doodledoo of the Fighting Amigos picking up early fouls and subsequent bench time and league MVP Hrundi V. "The Party" Bakshi responding with a 20-point first half.
Only 13-year MBA veteran Achilles Heel (in his first playoff game ever) performed well for the losers, who now face early elimination at home in Game 2.
Meanwhile, in addition to "The Party," Milwaukee got big games from game MVP Heater VanMeter (18 points, game-high 7 rebounds, three assists, a steal and a block), and forward Chi CityMaine (14 points, 5 rebounds, 2 steals and 7 blocks).
CityMaine ate up rookie forward L.B. Damned of San Jose, with his block total coming within one of the playoff record.

DALLAS LOSES STAR, WINS GAME 1
DALLAS--It was a bad-news, good-news kind of game for the Dallas Demons. The home team lost leading scorer and Hall of Famer Mamadou Zongo halfway through the first quarter for the remainder of the playoffs, but still managed to capture Game 1 of the best-of-three against defending champion Philadelphia by a 82-77 score.
The heroics in this one belonged to 11-year veteran Hacksaw Rooney, who replaced Zongo and had the game of his career, scoring 35 points in an effort that fell just three points shy of Dan Mann's all-time playoff scoring mark.

SEASON 30 REGULAR SEASON

The same four teams that made the playoffs the previous campaign will return to the post-season again in Season 30. Milwaukee (8-2) and defending champion Philadelphia (7-3) were the class of the competition in the very tough Eastern Division, while Dallas (9-1) and San Jose (8-2) rose easily above the competition in the West.
Houston and Oklahoma City were major disappointments, each finishing last in their divisions, despite having high expectations in the pre-season.
The Dallas Demons pulled a first in league history by keeping its entire roster from the previous campaign with not a single personnel change. Proved to be the right move.






HONORS

Long, sharp-shooting Milwaukee guard Hrundi V. Bakshi (aka The Party) captured his second consecutive MVP of the League honor in as many seasons while again leading the league in scoring with a 22.5 ppg clip.
Rookie of the Year honors went to Charleston point guard Lemon Jell-O, a 6-1 do-everything leader for the Rebels who proved capable in all areas of the game and kept a young Charleston team competitive in every contest.
The first-team All-League Team was both young and experienced, with all five members making the honor squad for at least the second time. This group may be one of the best in the history of the MBA, with Hall of Fame forwards Sagittal Occlusal of San Jose and Boone Doggle of Philadelphia being joined by the sesational third-year center Tom "The Bomb" Kondla and scoring machines Bakshi of Milwaukee and Cheetos Jones of Philadelphia who finished one-two in MBA scoring for the second consecutive year.






POST SEASON MATCH-UPS

It's a four-way toss-up in this post-season. Any one of this quartet could emerge a champion without surprising. Truth be told, this could be the strongest group ever to make the MBA's final four.

Milwaukee Greyhounds vs. San Jose Fighting Amigos--In a classic rematch of round one from last season, Milwaukee pits its the No. 1 offense in the league against San Jose's traditionally stingiest MBA defense. The Amigos' Cock A. Doodledoo shut down "The Party" from Milwaukee last post-season on the way to winning the post-season MVP award. But Milwaukee shored up its rebounding deficiencies of Season 29 by adding stalwart rookie forward Gato DoMato. The 6-11 rookie sensation led the league in rebounding and finished runner-up in Rookie of the Year voting. Meanwhile, Sagittal Occlusal regained his scoring touch this campaign and finished second in MVP voting while leading the way again for San Jose, which finished runner-up to Dallas while being the only team to take the Demons down.

Dallas Demons vs. Philadelphia Phobia--This one is also a rematch from last year's early round, won by Philly in three games. Philadelphia again features the tallest and best forward combo in the league with Boone Doggle and Tug Hershorts. The defending champs went out and corralled Cheetos Jones, who again ran rampant with a 20.4 per game average. The Phobia's only three losses came in the three games that Jones missed due to injury. Meanwhile, Hall of Famer Mamadou Zongo and 7-0 center Max Payne had arguably the best seasons of their career. Zongo, in his 16th season, scored 19-per game, matching a career-high. Payne also had his best scoring year at 16.7 while playing spectacular defense. It should be a corker of a series.