Friday, June 7, 2013

Answering Fly Davia

CUT PILE HEROES AND OTHER FUN FACTS

To answer the queries of Phil Davia, Dog Dirt Davis is a relatively young 7-seasons old; Jebediah "the Reverend" Wacknut is 9 and the Davia favorite Buck-Buck Bagaak is currently in his 11th season (the last five of which has been spent in the cut pile.)

To further respond to cut-pile inquisitor extraordinaire Davia, the player with the most cut pile time at present
is the center Pug Mahone, who has spent 14 full seasons in the cut pile and parts of others in his 20-season “career.”
He did spend parts of six other seasons in the league on someone's squad, but only one entire season on anyone's roster since joining the league way, way, way back in season 9. That was Season 16, which he spent with Houston, getting in 9 games and producing a 1.8 points per game average on 50 percent shooting.

If you’re looking for someone who has never seen the MBA light of day, we present guard Jalapa Valley, who is currently in his 14th consecutive cut pile season and will return to add to that string next campaign. It is the longest anyone has ever spent in the cut pile without ever seeing actual action. It will be interesting to see if Pug Mahone or Jalapa Valley will eventually claim the all-time title, since both are still “active.”

Thirteen other players who have retired from MBA non-action did so without stepping on an MBA table. They are:

Frank “Free Drinks” Meridien (6 seasons)
Tico Ticotac (6)
Silvio Banian (6)
Orville Gibson (6)
Skip Dingles (6)
Rudy Shmegangas (7)
Buddy Sorrell (7)
Epi Phone (7)
David Skywalker (8)
Kent Powers (8)
Wa-Wa Chuckles (9)
Stumpy Stewart (11)
Grumbles Williamson (11)

2 comments:

MBA said...

from Phil Davia

Brilliant presentation! I am going now to read the post again, I enjoyed it so much.
But first, another glass of Sauvignon Blanc!

The "Cut-Pile" is the true underground of the MBA. It is a Kafka inspired sub-world of despair, it's residents lying in a world without recognition. A dirty package containing cards of futility, yes their condition seems futile and without hope. But, in the mind of every filthy resident there is hope, a faint light in the crease of an envelope and the legend of the one who escaped. A. Cyan.

MBA said...

I am sorry that I failed to use "reply/all".
A.Cyan, considered a reject and never given a chance, scores 17 in his first game after years of inactivity. Then promptly retired.
Why, MBA, why? Jalapa Valley is a HERO !!!!!!!!