Season 52 All Star Game

EAST 91, WEST 73

EAST THE BEAST ONCE AGAIN

SAN JOSE -- Despite the presence of three Hall of Fame players in the West starting lineup, the East prevailed easily 91-73 in this 52nd All Star Game. They now lead the series 33-19.

Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan of Sacramento's 2 rebounds in this game tied him for fifth place all time in All Star Game rebounds with Hall of Fame center Bart Pitbull. Both have 26. The all-time leader in that category is Diamond Dallas Paige with 45. 

MVP OF THE GAME

36 GVP...As correctly predicted by Dave Masterson, Philadelphia's first-time All Star D. FENESTRATION took MVP honors. The fourth-year forward follows teammate Ehhy Table's MVP of the All Star Game last season. The 6-7 do-everything Fenestration posted a game-high 26 points, grabbed 5 rebounds, tied for team-high with 3 assists, blocked 1 shot and accounted for his team's only steal. He was 12 for 15 from the floor and 2 for 3 from the foul line in his ASG debut. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

31 GVP...Perhaps the league's finest two-way guard, Juzan Djinn of Philadelphia delivered a triple-double while frustrating Hall of Famer and league scoring leader Jesse Shershot into a low-percentage shooting game. The third-year man scored 17 points, snared 7 rebounds and tied for game-high in blocked shots with 5, adding 2 assists for good measure.

28 GVP...Sacramento's shining star rookie forward Kevin Duran-Duran did not disappoint in his first All Star Game, leading the West in scoring with 20 points and in rebounds with 4. The 6-9 newcomer also doled out 3 assists and had 1 steal.

22 GVP...Silky smooth rookie guard Kopi Luwak of Dallas showed off his superb offensive chops in the East victory. Despite being guarded by Great Gruncle Terry, the 6-2 Luwak scored 14 points, had 5 rebounds and tied for team-high in assists with 3. 

22 GVP...Third-year Gillette forward Billie "Be-bop" Bauer celebrated his first All Star start with 14 points, 3 rebounds, 3 assists, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot. 

21 GVP...Oklahoma City center Chochky Galumpkus had to really work, but managed to score 17 points against Hall of Fame defender J.J. Gargantuan, adding 2 assists, 1 rebound and 1 blocked shot. 

20 GVP...Hometown hero Jesse Shershot was shadowed most of the game by defensive master Juzan Djinn, but the Hall of Famer used volume shooting to put in 19 points despite the harrassment. He added 1 board. 

NEXT UP: We start the second half of the season with the FEATURED GAME of bracket No. 6 as third-place Oklahoma City travels to second-place Philadelphia. The Phobia had an easy time with the Lariats in their earlier meeting, besting them 80-63 behind the POG performance of D. Fenestration.

 

Season 52 All Star Rosters, League Leaders, All Star Game facts...plus Newest Hall of Famer

Season 52 All Star Game Rosters

--first appearance of critics' favorite D. Fenestration of Philadelphia

-- Sheetrock Hudson of Charleston is the only repeat starter for the East from last year's star team

-- Half of the two all star rosters, i.e. 10 players, are first-timers in the Star Game

-- Last season's All Star Game MVP, Ehhy Table of Philadelphia, did not make it back to the game. Thus, this guarantees there will be a new ASG MVP this season.

-- The East leads the series 32-19

-- Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan of Sacramento is making his 10th All Star Game appearance, tying him with Uncle Bob Masterson and Momadou Zongo for second-most appearances ever. The most appearances ever belongs to Max Payne, with 11. It is Gargantuan's first ASG appearance since Season 47.

-- The West All Stars have a Hall of Fame backcourt in the starting lineup in Great Gruncle Terry and Jesse Shershot. Add Gargantuan to that starting lineup and the West has three active Hall of Famers in its starting lineup. 

-- This ASG appearance by Jesse Shershot gives him 15 awards on his card, tying him for 15th place all-time in the Hall of Fame with Doc Watson and Cam Bodia. Shershot moves past Cheetos Jones, Dan Mann and Colquitt Croix in the rankings.

-- This will be the final All Star Game for Great Gruncle Terry of Los Angeles. It will also be the first and last All Star Game appearance for Buddy "Stankpig" Pigglesworth of Sacramento. Both will be retiring.

-- Three rookies made it to the game this season, with two making it as starters.

-- One of the three rookies in the game, Kopi Luwak of Dallas, was not even deemed "excellent" in pre-draft scouting reports. He is currently leading the way for Rookie of the Year honors.

Recent All Star Games 

This Season's Game will be players in San Jose.

League leaders at the Halfway Mark

Great Gruncle Terry ... 57th Member of the MBA Hall of Fame

-- One of the greatest defensive guards of all time and one of the most impactful

-- A record six-time league-leader in assists who led every team he was on in that department.

-- In eight seasons thus far, led four teams to championships from his point guard position -- two in Sacramento and two in Los Angeles. In five of those seasons, his teams won their division and his teams made the playoffs in every season but two.

-- He led his team in blocked shots five times. One of the times he did not lead his team in blocks was the season he blocked a career-best 25 shots for Milwaukee.

-- Did not even make the All-Rookie team his first year, losing out to Fatty McButterpants and Lannigan Lord Hobo; but he was the only one of that special rookie trio of guards to make the Hall of Fame. 

-- Enjoy him while you can...this is his ninth and final season.

Ten Most Recent Hall of Famers

Season 52...Great Gruncle Terry...guard...Active

Season 51...Dr. Marcus Brody...guard (by veteran's committee)

Season 50...Jesse Shershot... guard ... Active

Season 49...Doo-rag Dripp... forward

Season 48...Tree Fiddy... center

Season 47...Dis Reflexia... center (by veteran's committee)

Season 46...Baba Brinkman... forward (by veteran's committee)

Season 45...Chip "the Crip" Battoe...forward

Season 44...J.J. Gargantuan... center ... Active...and Colquitt Croix... guard

Anybody care to make a prediction on which Division will win the game or who will be the Game MVP?

I'm predicting the West...with D. Fenestration as my pick for MVP. 

NEXT UP: The 52nd MBA All Star Game

 

Season 52 Retirements

 

-- Spicey "Chicken" Choop-Choop's long residency in the cut pile comes to an end after 11 long seasons...never having seen the light of day (or the tabletop lamp) in the MBA. He was the longest "active" member in the cut pile, but fell well short of the record 16 consecutive seasons served by Jalapa Valley.

-- 18 players retired, meaning that the MBA will be two players less next season, since 16 rookies join the league every season. Six of the 18 players were starters.

-- Amazingly, half of the franchises suffered zero retirements.

-- Two-time defending champion Los Angeles was the hardest hit team, losing four players, including two starters, one being Great Gruncle Terry, the most accomplished new retiree, who led Los Angeles to its two most recent championships and Sacramento to two others.  

-- Sacramento lost three players, including both starting guards.

-- San Jose lost three players, including starter Otto Palindrome, who, in the tradition of MBA retirees,  is having the best year of his career.

-- Milwaukee lost two players, including starting forward Entha Shortzone.

-- Seattle lost two bench guys.

-- Gillette, Charleston, Dallas, Philadelphia and Oklahoma City all escaped without a retirment. Note that four of this quintet are from the powerful East Division.

-- 8 guards, including 4 starting guards, retired.

-- 8 forwards, including 2 starting forwards, retired.

-- just 2 centers, neither a starter, retired.

--

Season 52 Featured Game No. 5...Dallas at Sacramento

SACRAMENTO 86, DALLAS 71

R-DOGS WHIZ ON DEMONS

SACRAMENTO -- "No team starting Pigglesworth is a viable contender."-- Tyler Masterson

With that bulletin board material posted prominently in the Sacramento River Dogs' lockerroom, Buddy "Stankpig" Pigglesworth and the R-Dogs proceeded to dismantle the previously unbeaten Dallas Demons 86-71, proving in the process that these young index cards from Texas are, in fact human and beatable.

The game featured the top two defenses in the league, but while Dallas struggled to overcome the ball pressure of Sacramento (now 5-0), the Saluting Dog exploded for 68.5 percent shooting that led to a 20-point halftime lead.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

36 GVP...Sacramento's rookie power forward KEVIN DURAN-DURAN dominated last season's All-MBA and Rookie of the Year Satan Israel, holding him to 9 points while scoring a game-high 28 of his own. The River Dogs went to the 6-9 rookie constantly in the first half to build their huge lead, as Duran-Duran continuously beat Israel down low. He was 13 for 15 from the field and continued his league-leading free-throwing with a 2 for 2 day. Additionally, KDD led his team with 4 rebounds, tied for team-high in blocks with 2 and handed out 2 assists. He's a shoo-in for the All Star Game.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

29 GVP... Fired-up Sacramento shooting guard Buddy "Stankpig" Pigglesworth dominated...yes, dominated...All-MBA defensive stalwart Juzan Djinn in this game. The Stanky One rippled the cords for 24 points, including 4 for 4 from beyond the arc, while tying for game-high in steals with 2 and pulling down 3 rebounds. "Viable" enough?

22 GVP...One of four excellent rookies in this game, Dallas point guard Kopi Luwak had his usual team-high in points, scoring 17, while assisting 2 times, grabbing 2 rebounds and recording 1 theft. He made Freddy Chepuzzo stink, showing he is an All Star for sure.

21 GVP...In a battle royale of centers, Sacramento's Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan battled the hot new kid on the block, Biggus Dickus, to a standstill. Gargantuan scored 10 points, handed out a game-high 5 assists, tied for team-high in rebounds with 4 and in blocked shots with 2. 

21 GVP...Sacramento small forward Crentis Dentist contributed 14 points, 2 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 steal and tied for team-high in blocks with 2.

20 GVP...Although he scored just 6 points against one of the great defensive players of all time, rookie center Biggus Dickus contributed mightily otherwise, leading everyone in both blocked shots (3) and rebounds (7). Additionally, the 7-footer led his team with 3 assists and accounted for 1 steal.

MBA Standings … Season 52

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….4-1

OKLAHOMA CITY…..3-1

PHILADELPHIA………2-2

CHARLESTON………..2-2

MILWAUKEE……….. 1-3

 

 

WEST DIVISION

SACRAMENTO…5-0

SAN JOSE………….1-3

SEATTLE…………..1-3

GILLETTE………….1-3

LOS ANGELES…..1-3

 

NEXT UP:  With the second playoff spot in the West totally up for grabs, the next game on the schedule, Gillette at Seattle, will put one of these 1-3 teams squarely in the post-season picture as we head into the break.

 

 

Season 52 Featured Game No. 4...Charleston at Dallas

Dallas 75, Charleston 59

YOUNG DEMONS SPANK CHARLESTON 

DALLAS -- After a competitive first half in which the visitors from Charleston led by five at the break, the Whiz Kids from Dallas stepped on the accelerator in the second half and buried the would-be challengers for a 75-59 victory.

The second half saw Dallas, now 4-0, crush the Mountaineers 39-18 as they held their opponent to a 10-point third quarter, followed by an even better 8-point fourth.

Amazingly, the poised victors did not turn the ball over even once the entire game.

Meanwhile, thanks to excellent defense plus poor long-range shooting, Charleston shot itself out of the game with a 1 for 20 effort from beyond the 3-point line.

PLAYERS OF THE GAME

32 GVP...Rookie forward RAY "THE STEAKMAN" MARZANO captured the second POG of his young Dallas career with a dominant effort over Charleston veteran Sheetrock Hudson. The 6-8 Marzano scored 19 points on 9 of 13 shooting (1 for 1 from the foul line), grabbed 5 rebounds, blocked 3 shots, handed out 3 assists and led everyone in the game with 2 steals. He also led everyone in turnovers caused, with 2. Traded from Sacramento for Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan, Marzano is making the deal look more than even.

32 GVP...Third-year Dallas guard JUZAN DJINN overwhelmed Splash Gordon of Charleston. The 6-2 defensive specialist personally accounted for 9 points prevented, tops in the game, by blocking all three of Gordon's "made" 3-pointers on the way to the first triple-double of his career. Last season's All-MBA player tallied a ridiculous game-high 10 rebounds, blocked a game-high 5 shots, tied for team-high in assists with 4, registered 1 steal and scored 12 points. He was 6 for 13 from the floor. This was his first POG this season. Out of the six excellent guards to come out of the rookie class of Season 50, Djinn has emerged as the best of the lot.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

29 GVP...Looking like the early Rookie of the Year pick, Dallas point guard Kopi Luwak led the second-half barrage for Dallas, ending with a game-high 22 points, 3 rebounds and tying for team-high with 4 assists. He dominated Vinny Zazeech.

21 GVP...Second-year center Johnny Bananas of Charleston played the most complete game for the losers, scoring 12 points, hauling in a team-best 5 rebounds, blocking a team-best 2 shots and doling out 2 assists. 

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Charleston...2...4...0...2...Total=8

Dallas..........2...6...2...5...Total=15

TOP PLAYER IN POINTS PREVENTED

Juzan Djinn, Dallas...9

three other players had 4

TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTERS

Charleston...0...0...0...0  Total=0

Dallas..........0...1...0...2   Total=3

TOP PLAYERS IN TURNOVERS CAUSED

1. Ray Marzano, Dallas 2

2. Juzan Djinn, Dallas 1

MBA Standings … Season 52

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….4-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..2-1

PHILADELPHIA………2-1

CHARLESTON………..2-2

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-3

 

 

WEST DIVISION

SACRAMENTO…4-0

SAN JOSE………….1-2

SEATTLE…………..1-3

GILLETTE………….1-3

LOS ANGELES…..1-3

 

NEXT UP:  The MBA’s only win-less team, Milwaukee, travels to Philadelphia, where the Phobia expects to break the 60-60 lifetime record against the Greyhounds, which would give them a winning career mark against every franchise.

Season 52...Featured Game No. 3...Los Angeles at Dallas

DALLAS 87, LOS ANGELES 57

WHIZ KIDS ROLL OVER DEFENDING CHAMPS

DALLAS -- It's early, but it's time to nickname the uber-talented Dallas quintet whose oldest starter is just entering his third season and features three rookies, two of whom are bona fide competitors for All-MBA. Newcomers Kopi Luwak and Biggus Dickus join last season's All-MBA players Juzan Djinn and Rookie of the Year Satan Israel, giving coach Naceg Gecan a four-some where it could be argued that any of the four are the best player on the team. 

We're calling them the Whiz Kids, ala the youthful 1950 Philadelphia Phillies who surprised everyone by winning the National League pennant and the early 1940s University of Illinois basketball team, which also dominated despite youth.

Oh, by the way, these new Whiz Kids defrocked two-time defending champion Los Angeles (now 1-2) in this cross-over game 87-57. 

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Los Angeles...4...10...0...2  Total=16

Dallas.............4....0....1...4  Total=9

Top Individuals in points prevented

1. Great Gruncle Terry, Los Angeles 5

2. Pete Marzano, Dallas 4

2. Reed Lemur, Dallas 4

PLAYER OF THE GAME

32 GVP...7-foot rookie center BIGGUS DICKUS of Dallas had the best game of his young career, dominating Swordfish Willie Shingles of Los Angeles. The rookie prize of the Season 52 draft, Dickus scored a game-high 24 points on 12 of 18 shooting (0 for 1 at foul line) while pulling down 7 rebounds. The big guy also led his team in blocked shots, swatting away 3. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

28 GVP...Prize rookie point guard Kopi Luwak passed the acid test that was defensive genius Great Gruncle Terry with absolute aplomb. Luwak picked on Terry so often that he came up with the first triple-double of his career. The 6-2 point guard scored 15 points, including 3 long bombs, registered a game-high 8 assists and snagged 5 rebounds.

27 GVP...The old man of the Demons, third-year star Juzan Djinn, filled up the stat columns thusly...16 points, 7 rebounds, 2 blocked shots and 2 assists. He destroyed Flufferton Springs.

25 GVP...Los Angeles rookie forward Vuil'Raith Cabal led L.A. in scoring with 20 points and tied for team-high in rebounds with 4. The 6-10 Cabal also blocked 1 shot.

25 GVP...Second-year wunderkind forward Satan Israel contributed 17 points, 3 rebounds and 1 assist despite fouling out.

MBA Standings … Season 52

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….3-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..2-0

CHARLESTON………..2-1

PHILADELPHIA………1-1

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-3

 

 

WEST DIVISION

SACRAMENTO…3-0

SAN JOSE………….1-2

SEATTLE…………..1-2

LOS ANGELES…..1-2

GILLETTE………….0-3

 

NEXT UP:  Philadelphia locks horns with first-place Oklahoma City in a test of early-season strength for the two playoff contenders in the bloody, bloody East Division battleground.

 

Season 52...Featured Game No. 2...Philadelphia at Dallas

 DALLAS 73, PHILADELPHIA 67

Young Demons outlast Phobia

DALLAS -- Shooting an efficient 61.7 percent, the fresh-faced whippersnappers from Dallas took their record to 2-0, answering their first big challenge of Season 52 with a 73-67 win against visiting Philadelphia. 

Philly, thought to be Dallas' main challenger in the East, suffered an early blow when point guard Dick Papers went out with a first-quarter injury and never returned. (He's back next game.)

PLAYER OF THE GAME

27 GVP...Traded straight up by Sacramento for Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan, rookie forward PETE "THE STEAKMAN" MARZANO of Dallas blended strong defense with offense and rebounding to help secure this big win. The 6-8 Marzano scored 14 points on perfect 6 for 6 shooting (including a dunk) while going 2 for 2 from the foul line. He also pulled down a game-high 7 rebounds, tied for game-high in blocked shots with 3, dished 2 assists and accounted for 1 steal. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

26 GVP...Second-year forward (last season's All-MBA and Rookie of the Year) Satan Israel of Dallas led everyone in scoring with 22 points, dominating a fine defender, D. Fenestration, in doing so. The 6-8 star also grabbed 4 boards.

24 GVP...Dallas' oldest starter, third-year guard Juzan Djinn, locked horns in mortal combat with his fellow Season 50 draft class standout Ehhy Table in a game-within-a-game. Djinn held his own with 15 points, 3 rebounds and 3 assists while tying for most blocked shots in the contest with 3. 

24 GVP...Philadelphia two-guard Ehhy Table led his team in scoring with 17 points, despite having to contend with the defensive madness of Juzan Djinn. The 6-5 third-year man tied for game-high in assists with 4 and snagged 3 rebounds.

MBA Standings … Season 52

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….2-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-0

CHARLESTON………..1-1

PHILADELPHIA………1-1

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-1

 

 

WEST DIVISION

SEATTLE…………..1-0

SACRAMENTO…1-0

GILLETTE………….0-1

LOS ANGELES…..0-1

SAN JOSE………….0-2

 

NEXT UP:  Oklahoma City hopes to stay unbeaten in the East as the Lariats travel to the Midwest to face Milwaukee.