Season 57...Feature Game No. 9...Oklahoma City at Dallas on Pete Marzano Day

DALLAS 70, OKLAHOMA CITY 61 (PETE 'THE STEAKMAN" MARZANO DAY)

DALLAS SWATS WAY TO WIN

DALLAS -- Oklahoma City (4-5) shooters had to feel like houseflies as the Dallas Demons (now 8-1) swatted away a record 18 shots on the way to a 70-61 victory that secured home court for them for the entire playoffs.

The previous record was 15 blocked shots, held by three teams:

-- Season 27s Seattle team vs. Charleston

--Season 49s Seattle team, also against Charleston

--Season 53s Dallas team vs. this same Oklahoma City franchise

Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn led the way with 6 blocks, center Biggus Dickus had 5, forwards Nick Kenpoop and Hall of Famer Pete Marzano each had 3 and substitute guard Wrinkly Tinkly Toe added 1. 

The Demons, who prevented 15 points by Oklahoma City, held the visiting Lariats to 40.3 percent shooting, including an 0 for 17 goose from beyond the arc. Just why the Lariats, who came into the contest a woeful 21 percent from three, decided to bomb away is a mystery, unless one considers that they might have been sick of having their shots blocked back into their faces.

It was a close first half, but the Demons broke it open in the third quarter, then led by as many as 18 before finally settling for the 9-point triumph.

Tyler needs to replace Wrinkly Tinkly Toe with a cut pile guard for the final game of the regular season due to injury. Could be important for some poor cut pile slob, in that it could involve a championship ring for his card.

Points prevented

Oklahoma City 9

Dallas 15

Tops in points prevented

1. Oblio Assbag, Oklahoma City 7

2. Biggus Dickus, Dallas 6

3. Pete Marzano, Dallas 4

PLAYER OF THE GAME

32 GVP...One of the greats in the history of the MBA, Hall of Famer JUZAN DJINN of Dallas, was having a tough season coming into this game, averaging a season-low 11.8 points per game. He left the contest averaging 12.8, still his low-water mark but more confident in his game as the playoffs approach. The 6-2 Djinn tied for game-high in scoring with 21 points on 7 of 13 shooting, going 2 for 4 from deep and 5 for 5 from the foul line. His 6 blocked shots led everyone in that department, and he pulled down 3 boards while assisting twice. The eighth-year man probably won't be getting any regular season honors, but the three-time playoff MVP may be ready to seize the post-season by storm yet again.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

26 GVP...Dallas point guard Mini Carfartt...21 points...3 rebounds...2 assists.

26 GVP...Oklahoma City guard Bellybutton Inquisition...18 points...5 rebounds...3 assists.

21 GVP...Oklahoma City point guard Oblio Assbag...8 points...4 rebounds...4 assists...3 steals...2 blocks...tops in points prevented.

20 GVP...Dallas center Biggus Dickus...10 points...5 blocked shots...4 rebounds...1 assist.

FANS BID ADIEU TO "THE STEAKMAN"

Retiring Hall of Fame forward Pete “the Steakman” Marzano was honored at halftime for his brief (six seasons) but brilliant MBA career.

  Originally drafted by Sacramento in Season 52, he was acquired in a trade by Dallas for Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan. It was, for the Demons, a most fortuitous exchange. The fact that Dallas’ run of five consecutive championships coincides with Marzano’s arrival to the franchise is proof positive of his effectiveness in the Demons lineup.

 Oft-times compared with that bastard NBA league’s defensive wizard Draymond Green, “The Steakman” has turned off the offensive spigot on many an opponent, specializing in steals and especially blocked shots. And although he has never been a huge scorer, the 6-8 Marzano has delivered many a clutch hoop for the Dallas dynasty. Coming into this season he’s averaged between 12.2 per game to a career-best 16.5 ppg during his MVP campaign of Season 53. This season he’s at 13.3 per contest. He’s led the league in steals once and blocked shots once, while leading his club in steals three times and blocked shots twice. He’s never been below 20 blocked shots in any season.

 He’s the player every opponent loves to hate…”the Steakman,” Pete Marzano.

MBA Standings … Season 57

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS…………………8-1 (Clinched Playoff spot) (Clinched first place)

PHILADELPHIA………4-4

OKLAHOMA CITY…..4-5

CHARLESTON……….4-5

MILWAUKEE………..2-6 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES….6-3

GILLETTE…………6-3

SEATTLE………….6-3

SAN JOSE…………2-7 (eliminated)

SACRAMENTO… 2-7 (eliminated)

NEXT UP: Bracket 9 ends with Philadelphia at Milwaukee as the Phobia seeks to claim second place in the East while the Greyhounds still entertain a slim chance to get out of the cellar. Philly snuffed out Milwaukee earlier this season 67-44. Both the teams that the Phobia were tied with entering this bracket, Oklahoma City and Charleston, lost, leaving second place up for grabs.

Season 57, Featured Game No. 8...Charleston at Dallas on Biggus Dickus Day...plus Hall of Fame bonus

DALLAS 85, CHARLESTON 80 (Biggus Dickus Day)

CHAMPS FIRST TO CLINCH PLAYOFF SPOT

DALLAS -- As if there was any doubt, the five-time defending champion Dallas Demons (now 7-1) became the first MBA team to clinch a playoff spot in Season 57. The Mighty Demons used 12 blocked  shots, 8 steals and 63.9 percent shooting to outlast a strong-willed Charleston Mountaineer (now 4-4) club.

Most appropriately, Dallas center Biggus Dickus led the way in the clinching game on what had been declared as his day. 

The visitors from Charleston, who dropped from second to third place with the loss, got off to a sparkling start and led 25-18 after one quarter. But the veteran champions from Dallas never panicked, and by halftime led by three and held off a late Charleston fourth-quarter charge to get the victory.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

29 GVP...Honored at halftime as "the greatest center in franchise history," Demons retiring mainstay BIGGUS DICKUS  put an exclamation point on that distinction with his fourth POG of the season, tying him for the league lead in that department with fellow center Poop-Rupiah 3000 of Oklahoma City. As was noted in the ceremony, Dallas began its string of championships the same season that Dickus first joined the team and they have not stopped winning since. Five championship rings and four All Star Game appearances have the 7-footer just one award shy of Hall of Fame status. Another ring would do the trick. This season, his best as a Demon, is typical of the Dickus touch. He has always been among the top centers in the game, but has been beaten out for the All-MBA foil star by someone having a better campaign every season. This year he is battling 3000 for the right to wear foil. As a gesture of their love for the big lug, Dallas gave away autographed codpieces to the first 10,000 fans to attend Biggus Dickus Day. As for the game itself, the big guy led his team in scoring with 20 points, hitting his first 10 shots before finally missing in the fourth quarter. He led everyone in the game with 6 rebounds and was one of four Demons to lead in blocked shots with 3. He is currently averaging 18 points per game, far and away the best scoring season of his career.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

26 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano...18 points...3 rebounds...3 blocked shots...1 steal...1 assist.

26 GVP...Charleston rookie small forward Cheech Aborte...18 points (4 slams)...4 rebounds...2 blocked shots...1 steal...1 assist. 

24 GVP...Retiring Charleston point guard Kopi Luwak...21 points (4 treys)...2 rebounds...1 assist.

22 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame shooting guard Juzan Djinn...12 points...3 blocked shots...3 rebounds...3 assists...1 steal.

21 GVP...Dallas point guard Mini Carfartt...15 points...4 assists...2 rebounds. 

21 GVP...Charleston center Flatfoot Floogie...14 points...5 rebounds...2 assists.

MBA Standings … Season 57

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………7-1 (Clinched Playoff spot)

PHILADELPHIA………4-3

CHARLESTON……….4-4

OKLAHOMA CITY…..3-4

MILWAUKEE………..2-6 (eliminated)

 

WEST DIVISION

SEATTLE………….5-2

LOS ANGELES….5-3

GILLETTE…………4-3

SACRAMENTO… 2-5

SAN JOSE…………1-6 (eliminated)

NEXT UP: The stage is set for Philadelphia to push past Charleston into second place. The Mountaineers lost to Dallas, and the Phobia are hosting a banged up Oklahoma City team that is missing two starters. This is the first of two remaining meetings between these teams. Should Oklahoma City somehow overcome its injuries and beat Philly, three teams in the East would be 4-4 going into the final two brackets.

BONUS

Thirty seven of the 57 rookie classes in MBA history have produced at least one of the 60 players to gain the exalted Hall of Fame status. 

Not counting the first season's class of rookies, where 8 Hall of Famers came out of the six original teams (everyone was a rookie that season), the following seasons used 16 rookies to come up with multiple Hall of Fame players.

Season 5 (three)

Center Alex Pal

Center Rip Slamjam

Guard Dan Mann

Season 18 (three)

Guard Joey Two-Tones

Guard Tommy Zoop

Center Jonny Cockaroo

Season 6 (two)

Center Mable Reed

Guard Stu Nod

Season 7 (two)

Forward Marshall Stax

Forward Link Lennex

Season 15 (two)

Forward Cam Bodia

Guard Mamadou Zongo

Season 17 (two)

Center Bart Pitbull

Guard Shucks Oyster

Season 19 (two)

Guard Benny Gumm

Forward Shooter Flatch

Season 25 (two)

Forward Tug Hershorts

Forward Sagittal Occlusal

Season 26 (two

Guard Ching Chong Chung

Center Max Payne

Season 28 (two)

Center Tom "the Bomb" Kondla

Guard Cheetos Jones

Season 29 (two)

Center Ama Spikie

Guard Hrundi V. Bakshi

Season 30 (two)

Guard Lemon Jell-o

Forward Gato DoMato

Season 34 (two)

Forward Art Vandelay

Guard Beezow Bop-Bop

Season 37 (two)

Forward Pap Smearz

Guard Naf Naf

Season 38 (two

Center J.J. Gargantuan

Forward Baba Brinkman

Season 43 (two)

Forward Chip "the Crip" Battoe

Guard Dr. Marcus Brody

None of the 14 rookie classes since Season 43 have yielded multiple Hall of Fame players.

For the record, here are the eight players from Season 1 who had Hall of Fame careers

Rowdy Ron Clutch

Oscar Mudcat

Silo Chamberlain

Bub Wright

Doug Fresh

Bill Rustler

Raisin Sport

Cappy Gambol

 

 

 

Season 57 Featured Game No. 7...Milwaukee at Dallas...with a couple of bonuses tacked on

DALLAS 96, MILWAUKEE 91

DEMONS OUTLAST GREYHOUNDS

DALLAS -- They came into the game ranked as the two top defenses in the MBA, but before it was all over Mighty Dallas (now 6-1) was forced to put up its highest point total of the season and 70 percent shooting before finally nailing down a 96-91 victory over last-place Milwaukee (now 2-5).

It started out like a laugher for the first-place Demons, who sprinted off to a 32-20 first-quarter lead that eventually ballooned to 19 early in the second quarter.

But the gritty Greyhounds, who dropped a 1-point decision to Dallas earlier this season, put together a 50-point second half that saw them tie the game early in the fourth before finally going down in a relentless offensive show by both teams.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

34 GVP...Enjoying the finest season in this, the finale of his career, Dallas center BIGGUS DICKUS nailed down his third POG of the campaign (the second in as many games against Milwaukee) with a game-high 22 points. The stalwart 7-footer also tied for game-high with 6 rebounds and led everyone with 3 blocked shots, while handing out 3 assists. He was 11 for 13 from the floor, and every time Milwaukee drew close getting the ball to  Dickus in the post led to a big bucket. He's now tied for the most POGs this season and is averaging 17.7 points per game as the leading scorer for Dallas, far eclipsing his best scoring season of 13.5ppg three campaigns ago. He upped his scoring game at a time when last season's leading scorer Vicious Hick defected to Los Angeles and Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn is suffering through his least effective season.

Other 20-plus GVP performances

27 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...16 points (3 slams)...6 assists...4 rebounds...1 blocked shot.

24 GVP...Milwaukee point guard Ehhy Table...Triple-double (5th of career)...14 points...5 rebounds...5 assists.

24 GVP...Milwaukee shooting guard Itstha Bishop...19 points...4 assists...1 rebound.

23 GVP...Milwaukee rookie center Dave Cowhand...16 points...6 rebounds...1 assist.

22 GVP...Dallas point guard Mini Carfartt...19 points (3 slams)...2 steals...1 rebound.

21 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano...17 points...2 rebounds...2 assists.

MBA Standings … Season 57

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS…………………6-1

CHARLESTON……….4-2

PHILADELPHIA………4-3

OKLAHOMA CITY…..2-4

MILWAUKEE………..2-5

 

WEST DIVISION

SEATTLE………….5-2

LOS ANGELES….4-3

GILLETTE…………4-3

SACRAMENTO… 2-5

SAN JOSE…………1-6

NEXT UP: Bracket 7 concludes with Charleston at Oklahoma City as the Mountaineers hope to improve their grasp on second in the East while the Lariats struggle to stay out of the cellar. Charleston, behind the POG performance of rookie forward Cheech Aborte, won their last meeting 78-71.

BONUS #1

 

Talent in the middle abounds

For the last number of seasons the center position in the MBA has provided the most concentrated talent of any in the league. This season is no exception, with 7 of the 10 teams boasting pivots who are averaging 20-plus GVPs. Here is their current ranking.

n         Third-year 6-9 Oklahoma City center Poop-Rupiah 3000…27.6 GVP…20 ppg…9 blocks…100 percent from the foul line (11 for 11) … 83.1 percent shooter.

n        Retiring sixth-year 7-foot Dallas center Biggus Dickus…25.8 GVP…team and career best 17.7 ppg…4.7 rpg…10 blocks

n        Third-year 6-11 Charleston center Flatfoot Floogie…24.4 GVP…13.5 ppg…league-leading 7.7 rebounds per game…team-best 2.2 assists per game…74 percent shoorter…100 percent at line.

n       7-1 San Jose Hall of Fame center Chochky Galumpkus in his 12^th season…22.8 GVP…team-best 16.1 ppg…4.6 rebounds per game

n       Retiring 6-9, sixth-year pivot from Los Angeles Chat Bot…22.0 GVP… league-leading 26 blocked shots…12 ppg…4 rebounds per game…2 assists per game

n       6-11 Philadelphia center Blob Dylan…21.0 GVP…14.7 ppg…3.6 rpg…12 blocks

n       6-8 Gillette center Brother Jasper…20.7 GVP…15.6 ppg…4.7 rpg.

 

Add Hooza Goodboi, the 7-1, second-year center for Seattle who was on his way to a 20-plus GVP season before being felled by injury. Laughing Boy Lasso has proven a solid replacement.

Oklahoma City is so deep at center that two-time All-MBA player Johnny Bananas sits the bench.

It’s no coincidence that the teams lacking competitive pivots…Milwaukee…Sacramento…are struggling to stay relevant.

All of this talent and just two centers remain in the cut pile

 

BONUS #2

Longest Playoff Droughts

5 Seasons…Philadelphia Phobia

2 Seasons….Sacramento River Dogs

2 Seasons…Los Angeles Big One

2 Seasons…Oklahoma City Lariats

1 Season…Charleston Mountaineers

1 Season…Seattle Stampede