Season 57 Free Agents

DEMONS LOSE 2 SUPERSTARS

The prayers for breaking up the five-time defending champion Dallas Demons have apparently been answered as both All-MBA starting guards Vicious Hick and Juzan Djinn declared themselves free agents for the Season 57 draft.

Hick was the league-leading scorer and regular season MVP in Season 56 and Djinn, a Hall of Famer on track to become the best player in league history, was the Playoff MVP.

Seventeen players in all declared for free agency, with 8 of those players being starters. That means that, adding the 16 rookies, there will be 33 players in the upcoming draft...enough for three full rounds, with three teams getting a fourth player.

Only two teams; last-place Sacramento and Philadelphia, escaped unscathed in the free agent declarations. 

Six of the league's 10 teams lost valuable starters, with San Jose matching Dallas with two starters lost.

Dallas added the all-time championship ring winner Al A. Orden for a total of three free agents lost. Milwaukee and Gillette also contributed three. 

Three superb starting centers will be available in the draft as Hall of Famer Chochky Galumpkus leaves Seattle, Blob Dylan leaves Gillette (for the third time...they got him back twice) and Johnny Bananas departs Milwaukee after one season.

No matter what the caliber of incoming rookies, this upcoming draft will be well worth watching, thanks to the stars leaving their respective teams.

 

A LOOK AT LAST SEASON'S PREDICTIONS

Both Dave and Tyler got two correct in individual honors predictions. Each selected Juzan Djinn for All-MBA and Famichiki Whiskey for Rookie of the Year.

 ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS(from Dave)

Guard...Hall of Famer Juzan Djinn of Dallas

Guard...Rookie Famichiki Whiskey of Charleston

Center...Chochky Galumpkus of Seattle

Forward...Satan Israel of Sacramento

Forward...Hall of Famer Crentis Dentist of Oklahoma City

 

ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS (from Tyler)

Guard...Juzan Djinn, Dallas

Guard...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles

Center...Biggus Dickus, Dallas

Forward...Satan Israel, Sacramento

Forward...Erik A. Crocidale, Seattle

 

Actual All-MBA team

Guard…Juzan Djinn, Dallas

Guard…Vicious Hick, Dallas

Center…Poop-Rupiah 3000, Oklahoma City

Forward.Eddie “the Milkman” Creamer, San Jose

Forward.Piping Plover, Charleston

 

MVP Predictions

Center Chochky Galumpkus of Seattle (Dave)

Guard Pinky Toe of Los Angeles (Tyler)

 

Actual MVP

Vicious Hick, Dallas

 

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

Guard Famichiki Whiskey of Charleston (both Dave and Tyler)

 

THE STEAKMAN MAKES HALL

 

Marzano gets "sneak" induction

While adding championship rings to the Dallas Demons individual cards, it was surprisingly determined that five-year forward Pete “the Steakman” Marzano has achieved Hall of Fame status.

The 6-8 defensive specialist has five championship rings, three all star game honors, a Season 53 All-MBA foil star and a Season 53 regular season MVP award, adding up to the required 10 to gain Hall of Fame status.

He snuck up on us, admittedly.

Marzano becomes the 62^nd member of the MBA Hall of Fame, joining Chochky Galumpkus as the Season 56 entries into the vaunted ranks.

He will join teammate Juzan Djinn as one of four active Hall of Fame players for Season 57, the others being Galumpkus of Seattle and Crentis Dentist of Oklahoma City.

This induction into the Hallowed Hall is the first time since Season 44 when J.J. Gargantuan and Colquit Croix went in, that more than one player has achieved Hall of Fame status in the same season. Strangely enough, Dallas got their hands on Marzano when Sacramento traded “the Steakman” to the Demons for Hall of Fame center Gargantuan.

The 10 most recent Hall of Famers are:

Season 56…Pete “the Steakman”Marzano and Chochky Galumpkus

Season 55…Pap Smearz (via veterans committee)

Season 54…Juzan Djinn

Season 53…Crentis Dentist

Season 52…Great Gruncle Terry

Season 51…Dr. Marcus Brody (via veterans committee)

Season 50…Jesse Shershot

Season 49…Doo-rag Dripp

Season 48…Tree Fiddy

Season 56 Their Place in the MBA Universe

 

Season 56 Playoffs Summary with MVP and stat leaders

-- Third Playoff MVP honor (in last 5 seasons) ties him for most ever with Cappy Gambol and Stu Nod

-- Jumps from 12th most-honored player of all time to tied for fifth with Uncle Bob Masterson...both with 21 awards...four players ahead of him are 1. Curly Hogbottom (25 awards) 2.Naf Naf (23) 3.Max Payne 22  3.Chip Battoe (23)

-- He now ranks 9th all time in playoff scoring with 513 points. First is Dan Mann with 768.

-- Al A. Orden now has the most championship rings in history with 7. He's also in 9th place for most playoff games, having participated in 40. Max Payne holds the record with 51 games.

NEXT UP: Season 56 retirees assigned their places in the MBA universe

Season 56 Finals ... Game 3...Milwaukee at Dallas

DALLAS 88, MILWAUKEE 68 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

DEMONS WALK IT HOME

DALLAS -- The Dallas Demons swept through their third straight post-season, concluding with their biggest offensive output of the playoffs; an 88-68 victory over Milwaukee that secured the team's record-tying fifth title in a row and 10th overall.

As is their custom, the champs detonated their opponent in one of the quarters, scoring a scorching 34 points in the second to break open what had been a 19-19 deadlock after the first.

Head coach Buzzy Bazinski, who has known nothing but championship seasons since coming aboard five campaigns ago, used just six players, resulting in the only Slaughter Rule game of the post-season...and that came on a last time unit bucket by Vicious Hick.

This marked the 16th consecutive playoff victory for the franchise, which now looks ahead to a record-breaking sixth championship next season. This current title ties the record for most in a row held by Philadelphia.

Break up the Demons! That's the battle cry for the rest of the MBA.

The visiting Greyhounds did manage to have one of their players tie a playoff record, as Milwaukee guard Ehhy Table doled out 10 assists in the losing cause. He joins a list of four others who shared the mark previously. They are:

Season 5...Bullet Bob Sixgun of Charleston against Philadelphia

Season 28...Tubes Mullard of Houston against Seattle

Season 50...Hall of Famer Great Gruncle Terry of Los Angeles against Philadelphia

Season 51...Flufferton Springs of Los Angeles against San Jose

PLAYER OF THE GAME

38 GVP...MVP of the Playoffs the past two seasons, Dallas point guard VICIOUS HICK waited until the final game to deliver the highest point total for a single contest as he bombed Milwaukee for 30 points. The league's leading scorer during the regular season got to 30 on the final time unit, a medium jumper that kicked sand in the face of Milwaukee, making it a 20-point win, and thus, a Slaughter Rule Game. The All-MBA guard went 10 for 18 from the field, hitting 6 of 10 from downtown and going a perfect 4 for 4 from the foul line. He swooped in for 6 rebounds and added a pair of assists. He was trailing teammate Juzan Djinn for Playoff MVP honors entering the game, and as of this writing it's unclear whether he has enough to get his third in a row. If he pulled it out...the third-year man would be the MBA's newest member of the Hall of Fame. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

32 GVP...Dallas forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano...23 points...4 rebounds...2 steals...2 assists...1 blocked shot.

26 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...15 points...7 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal...1 blocked shot.

26 GVP...Milwaukee forward Scobee Bryant...17 points...4 rebounds...4 assists...1 blocked shot.

22 GVP...Milwaukee forward Zippy Wunderslug...18 points...3 rebounds...1 steal.

21 GVP...Dallas center Biggus Dickus...12 points...4 rebounds...3 blocked shots...1 steal...1 assist.

21 GVP...Milwaukee substitute guard Rabbit Munchers...13 points...4 assists...2 steals...1 blocked shot...1 rebound.

NEXT UP: Tallying of the Post-Season stats and leaders and naming of the Playoff MVP.

Expecting a victory, the Demonettes cheerleaders sang a specially composed song by superfan Al Insignificant following the championship clincher. It went a little something like this:

Title: "Demons Dynasty"

(Victory Anthem of the Dallas Demons)

Dallas Demons, hear the roar!
Champions now, forevermore!
Blood, sweat, fire—we ignite,
Five-time kings, shining bright!

🏀 Verse 2:
From the first tip, we take control,
Breaking records, crushing goals.
No surrender, no retreat,
The Demons can’t be beat!

🚀 Bridge:
History’s ours, the banners fly,
Legends forged beneath the sky.
Demons never back away—
We own the court, we run the play!

🎶 Final Chorus:
Dallas Demons, hear the roar!
Champions now, forevermore!
Blood, sweat, fire—we ignite,
Five-time kings, shining bright!

 

Season 56 Finals Game 2...Dallas at Milwaukee

 DALLAS 66, MILWAUKEE 62

DEMONS 'D' WINS SQUEAKER

MILWAUKEE -- The Mighty Dallas defense slowly increased the pressure as this game progressed, coming up with 15 points prevented in the second half and delivering its best effort (8 points prevented) in the final quarter on the way to a 66-62 road win.

That puts the four-time defending champs one win away from a fifth consecutive MBA championship, which would tie with Philadelphia for the most titles in a row.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Dallas...2...2...7...8...Total of 19 points prevented

Milwaukee...2...4...2...0...Total of 8 points prevented

Top Points Prevented Players

1. Juzan Djinn of Dallas...7 points prevented

2. Johnny Bananas of Milwaukee...6 points prevented

The back-breaking bucket for Dallas came with 6 ticks remaining as the Demons All-MBA point guard Vicious Hick drove to the short zone where he shook all defenders and canned the shot that gave his team a 4-point lead.

This was a game that demonstrated the versatile dominance of Dallas, a team that again finished first in the league in offense and second defensively. Despite shooting just 49.1 percent from the floor, the Demons hunkered down to hold Milwaukee to a paltry 38.2 percent accuracy, blocking 11 shots along the way. 

Meanwhile, Milwaukee yakked up 68 shots, and despite its low shooting percentage, the high-volume strategy served them well almost to the very end. 

Milwaukee started the game like gangbusters, shooting out of the gate with an 11-0 start that had Greyhounds fans on their feet howling like harpies.

But the result that followed was a familiar one...the fourth defeat of the season at the hands of Dallas, and the 15th consecutive playoff triumph for the Demons over the past three seasons.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

33 GVP...Milwaukee small forward SCOBEE BRYANT did a number on Pete Marzano of Dallas, scoring 19 points on 8 of 12 shooting (3 of 4 from deep) and hauling down a game-high 8 rebounds. The third-year man tied for game-high in assists with 3 and in steals with 2, adding a blocked shot to his final GVP total.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

31 GVP...Milwaukee substitute guard Rabbit Munchers...20 points (3 treys)...5 rebounds...3 assists...2 steals...1 blocked shot.

26 GVP...Dallas center Biggus Dickus...16 points...7 rebounds...2 assists...1 blocked shot.

24 GVP...Dallas point guard Vicious Hick...20 points (4 treys)...3 rebounds...1 assist.

21 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...10 points...4 rebounds...4 blocked shots...2 assists...1 steal...tops in points prevented with 7

NEXT UP: Back to Big D where Demons faithful can watch their team win a fifth consecutive title. 

Season 56 MBA Playoffs...Finals Game 1...Milwaukee at Dallas

DALLAS 76, MILWAUKEE 62

DEMONS KEEP ROLLING

DALLAS -- Make that 14 consecutive post-season wins for the Dallas Demons, who opened the Season 56 MBA Finals with a decisive 76-62 win over the Milwaukee Greyhounds.

As is often the case, the victorious outcome for Mighty Dallas hinged on the four-tme defending champions dominating one of the four quarters. In this case, it was the third, in which they broke open a 1-point halftime lead with a 22-11 third-quarter surge.

Both teams came into the game riding 4-game winning streaks, and for a while it looked like the upstarts from Milwaukee might be able to hang. But once Dallas got its offense untracked in the second half (with Vicious Hick hitting all four of his treys) it was all over.

A couple of interesting stats....Dallas did not even attempt a free throw...and the Demons out-assisted Milwaukee 15-2.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

26 GVP...He came into these Finals as the leader in the Playoff MVP race, and with this performance Dallas Hall of Fame two guard JUZAN DJINN seems well on his way to capturing his third such honor in a career that will likely put him at the top of the pyramid as far as guards are concerned, with a real chance to be the best player ever. In this game he shut down the top Milwaukee scorer Itstha Bishop while scoring 18 points on his own. Djinn went an efficient 8 for 13 from the floor, going 2 for 3 from deep. He added 4 assists, grabbed 3 rebounds and blocked 1 shot. Now in his seventh season, the 6-2 star has racked up 19 career awards, having passed such luminaries at his position as Jesse Shershot and Stu Nod this season. He is currently tied with guard greats Cappy Gambol and Hrundi V. Bakshi with only Uncle Bob Masterson (21 awards) and Naf Naf (23 awards) ahead of him. A Playoff MVP and championship ring would tie him with Masterson and place him 5th All Time in the Hall of Fame rankings behind golden gods Curly Hogbottom (25), Naf Naf (23), Max Payne (22) and Chip Battoe (22).

Other 20-plus GVP performers

25 GVP...Dallas point guard Vicious Hick...22 points (4 treys)...3 rebounds.

24 GVP...Milwaukee power forward Zippy Wunderslug...17 points...7 rebounds.

20 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...6 points...6 assists...5 blocked shots...3 rebounds.

20 GVP...Dallas small forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano...14 points...3 rebounds...2 assists...1 blocked shot.

20 GVP...Milwaukee point guard Ehhy Table...15 points (3 treys)...3 rebounds...2 steals. 

NEXT UP: The Finals move to Milwaukee for Game 2 where the Greyhounds hope to halt the ridiculous playoff winning streak of Mighty Dallas.

 

Season 56 Playoffs Game 2...San Jose at Milwaukee

MILWAUKEE 87, SAN JOSE 79

GREYHOUNDS SWEEP TO FINALS

MILWAUKEE -- The Milwaukee Greyhounds broke open a highly charged offensive contest in the fourth quarter, holding visiting San Jose to just 10 points on the way to an 87-79 SemiFinals Series sweep and a berth in the MBA Finals.

Both teams shot a sizzling 60 percent in the back-and-forth contest, but the Greyhounds guards potted 7 treys, including 3 from substitute Rabbit Munchers, and the home team went to the foul line for 22 free throws compared to just 4 for San Jose. 

The Milwaukee Finals appearance against four-time defending champion Dallas comes after three consecutive last place finishes for the rejuvenated Greyhounds. The last time they were in the Finals was Season 52 against the same Dallas franchise they will be up against in Season 56. That was the first of four titles for the Demons, but Milwaukee took them to the 5-game limit, winning a pair before finally bowing.

Dallas returns three starters (Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn, forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano and center Biggus Dickus) from that series, while Milwaukee has totally turned over its starting lineup, returning only backup center Lothario Fartlek.

The Finals teams ranked first and second in offense during the regular season, with Dallas second in defense and Milwaukee sixth.

Dallas is favored, although MBA experts predict at least one game to go Milwaukee's way. This will be the third time these franchises have met in the Finals, with Dallas winning both previous times (Seasons 20 and 52).  Dallas has won 9 championships while Milwaukee has won 7. The Greyhounds hold the distinciton of having the longest current title drought in the MBA, with its last championship in Season 18. They have been back to the Finals five more times since Season 18 and are hoping that this sixth time will be a charm.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

33 GVP...Two-time All-MBA center JOHNNY BANANAS sent San Jose Hall of Fame pivot J.J. Gargantuan off into retirement with a boot in the butt in the last contest of the latter's career. The sixth-year Milwaukee star destroyed Gargantuan with a game-high 24 point effort that included 5 thunderous slams. The 6-9 Bananas, in his first season with Milwaukee, was 11 for 16 from the floor (0 for 2 from deep and 2 for 5 from the foul line) while corralling 6 boards, assisting 2 times and blocking 1 shot. Dallas center Biggus Dickus will have his hands full with Bananas, and vice-versa.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

27 GVP...San Jose point guard Donny Dupons...21 points...3 rebounds...2 steals...1 assist.

25 GVP...San Jose power forward Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer...17 points...7 rebounds...1 assist.

24 GVP...Milwaukee shooting guard Itstha Bishop...21 points...2 rebounds...1 assist.

24 GVP...San Jose small forward L.S. Island...20 points...4 rebounds.

20 GVP...Milwaukee forward Scobee Bryant...12 points...7 rebounds...1 steal.

NEXT UP: Game 1...MBA finals...Milwaukee at Dallas

Dallas won both regular season meetings between the two...66-64 and 90-81.

This will be the fifth consecutive season in which two East Division teams squared off in the Finals.