Season 56 Featured Game No. 6...Dallas at Milwaukee...Plus a Hall of Fame Centers Spotlight

 DALLAS 66, MILWAUKEE 64

DEMONS HANG ON FOR WIN

MILWAUKEE -- In yet another game where the last shot determined the outcome, the Dallas Demons (now 5-1) escaped Milwaukee's trap with a 66-64 victory. 

Trailing throughout the game but never really out of it, Milwaukee (now 3-3) put on a furious comeback down the stretch only to lose on a desperation full-court shot at the buzzer by Greyhounds forward Scobee Bryant that nearly secured a home team victory. It took three rolls to determine that the longshot attempt did not go in. 

This barn-burner featured fierce defense by both teams, with Milwaukee players preventing 17 Dallas points and the Demons preventing 16.

It also marks the third consecutive game that an opponent has taken the four-time defending champs from Dallas down to the wire, with Oklahoma City having first lost to Dallas by 3, then turning around and beating them by 4.

Points prevented by quarter

Dallas...........1...4...7...4...Total=16

Milwaukee...3...6...4...4...Total=17

Tops in points prevented

1. Juzan Djinn, Dallas...10 points prevented

2. Itstha Bishop, Milwaukee...5 points prevented

PLAYER OF THE GAME

28 GVP...Fourth-year Milwaukee guard ITSTHA BISHOP has no awards on his card, but in that respect, he may be one of the most under-the-radar stars in MBA history. The 6-foot shooting guard has led Milwaukee in scoring every season since joining the league, peaking with a 20.3 ppg average last season that tied for the scoring title. In this game, despite getting his shot blocked 5 times by shut-down defender Juzan Djinn, who prevented 10 of his points, Bishop managed to come away with a game-high 23 on 10 of 19 shooting. Additionally, he stopped 5 opponents' points from hitting the scoreboard with tough D of his own. Bishop was 2 of 6 from deep and 1 of 1 from the foul line while pulling down 3 rebounds and topping his team in assists with 2. He had more than double the points of the next-highest scoring Milwaukee player and most definitely kept the Greyhounds in contention throughout the game.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

26 GVP...Dallas center Biggus Dickus...16 points...6 rebounds...2 assists...1 steal...1 blocked shot.

23 GVP...Dallas point guard Vicious Hick...13 points (3 treys)...6 rebounds...4 assists.

22 GVP...Dallas small forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano...16 points...3 rebounds...2 assists...1 block.

21 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...11 points...4 rebounds...4 assists...2 blocked shots.

21 GVP...Milwaukee small forward Scobee Bryant...10 points...6 rebounds...3 blocked shots...2 steals

20 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame two guard Juzan Djinn...10 points...5 blocked shots...3 rebounds...2 assists.

MBA Standings … Season 56

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….5-1

PHILADELPHIA………4-2

MILWAUKEE………..3-3

OKLAHOMA CITY…..2-3

CHARLESTON………. 1-5

 

WEST DIVISION

SAN JOSE…………5-1

GILLETTE…………4-2

LOS ANGELES….3-2

SEATTLE………….2-4

SACRAMENTO… 0-6

 

NEXT UP:  Another important game, Oklahoma City at Los Angeles, closes out bracket No. 6. The Lariats would be in the thick of things with a cross-over victory here, and Los Angeles needs a win to keep pace with Gillette for the second playoff spot in the West. 

GALUMPKUS 12TH HALL OF FAME CENTER

By earning his 7th All Star Game appointment, Chochky Galumkpus, now of Seattle, becomes the 61st member of the MBA Hall of Fame and the 12th center to join the august company of pivots. The 7-1 Galumpkus, now in his 11th season, has played for three different franchises...two stints with Oklahoma City, one stretch with Dallas and now Seattle...and has been a star in every stop.

Here are the Hall of Fame centers in reverse order of their induction season:

Season 56...Chochky Galumpkus (first center to make the exalted status in 8 seasons)

Season 48...Tree Fiddy

Season 44...J.J. Gargantuan (still active, but retiring after this season)

Season 35...Max Payne

Season 33...Tom "the Bomb" Kondla

Season 25...Jonny Cockaroo

Season 23...Bart Pitbull

Season 17...Mable Reed

Season 16...Diamond Dallas Paige

Season 16...Rip Slamjam

Season 10...Big Bill Rustler

Season 8....Alex Pal

 

Season 56 All Star Game

 EAST 99, WEST 72

MORE EAST DOMINANCE 

DALLAS -- The big boy bullies from the East flexed their muscles once again in this 56th MBA All Star Game, crushing the West 99-72 to improve their overall supremacy in this contest to 36-20; a third straight triumph.

The season for the last-place, win-less Sacramento River Dogs got even worse, as their lone All Star selection, Satan Israel, was injured in the third quarter and will be forced to miss the next three R-Dogs games.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

49 GVP...In one of the most powerful All Star Game performances in the history of the league, Philadelphia's fourth-year forward PHILLIP MIANUS put on a show to be remembered. The 6-8 Mianus, who has made his mark in the league mainly on defense, exploded for a game-high 32 points, the most by anyone since Didger A'doo scored 34 way back in Season 36. Mianus remained a defensive force in this game as well, registering a game-high 4 steals that tied the single-game total set by Hall of Fame guard Great Gruncle Terry of Milwaukee in Season 49. Mianus also led everyone in blocked shots with 7. He was 15 for 16 from the floor, his only miss coming from beyond the arc where he was 1 for 2. He accented those baskets with 3 slams and also went 1 for 1 from the foul line. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

30 GVP...Dallas small forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano...22 points...4 blocks...3 rebounds...1 steal...tops in points prevented with 8

26 GVP...Seattle Hall of Fame center Chochky Galumpkus...19 points...5 rebounds...2 assists. 

23 GVP...Dallas point guard Vicious Hick...21 points (5 treys)...2 rebounds.

22 GVP...Milwaukee center Johnny Bananas...14 points...7 rebounds...1 assist. 

20 GVP...San Jose retiring shooting guard Vinny Zazeech...13 points...4 rebounds...3 assists.

Tops in Points Prevented

1. Pete "the Steakman" Marzano...8 points prevented

2. Juzan Djinn...5 points prevented

3. Turk Attaturk...4 points prevented

Team Points Prevented

West...9

East...20...showing off their smothering D.

Special Notes

-- In his 5th and final All Star Game, retiring San Jose guard Vinny Zazeech, tied for the tallest guard in MBA history at 6-8, was forced to play forward due to an in-game injury to Eddie Creamer and Satan Israel.

-- Juzan Djinn, one of the greatest All Star Game performers, moved into 7th place in ASG scoring with a total of 107. He also broke an ASG tie for the number one career assists total with Percy Faith. He now sits atop in that category with 21. Djinn also added to his already No. 1 spot in career ASG blocks, adding 4 more for a grand total of 22, six ahead of the second-place guy, Curley Hogbottom.

-- The MBA's newest Hall of Famer, Chochky Galumpkus moved into 8th place scoring all time in the ASG with his total of 106 points, right behind Djinn. Galumpkus also tied Bart Pitbull for 6th place in ASG rebounding with 26. 

Next up: Regular league action begins anew with Gillette (3-2) at Seattle (2-3). The Humps, behind POG Blob Dylan, bested the Stampede in their first meeting this season 72-63.   

Season 56 All Stars revealed...plus Season Leaders at halfway point

ALL STAR NOTES

-- Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan breaks the tie with Max Payne by making his 12th All Star Game roster, the most in MBA history. The 19th-year player will be retiring following this season.

-- Gargantuan is one of 4 West All Stars who will be retiring after this season, and thus, will be playing in their final All Star Game.

-- Point guard Maboroshi No Hotcake of Gillette is the lone rookie starter in the game and just one of two rookies to make the All Star Game. The other is Famichiki Whiskey of Charleston.

-- There are two former All Star Game MVPs in this upcoming contest...Juzan Djinn of Dallas and Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose.

-- Three teams placed three starters on the All Star rosters, but Dallas is the only one with three players starting in the game.

-- The only active Hall of Fame player who failed to make the game this season is forward Crentis Dentist of Oklahoma City. The other three all made it, including the newest member Chochky Galumpkus.

-- Four of the 10 starters are making their first ASG starts.

-- The West roster is much older than the East. Five of the 10 West stars are older than the oldest East star.

-- The lone player with a 20-plus GVP left off the team is Milwaukee guard Itstha Bishop (20.5), who has yet to put an award on his card despite being a big-time scorer for three and a half seasons. He tied for the league lead in scoring last season.

-- Every MBA team has at least one representative in the game.

-- The East, which has won 4 of the last 5 ASGs has a 35-20 overall advantage.

-- There are three first-time All Stars. Only one, center Brother Jasper of Philadelphia, is not a rookie.

This season's game is in Dallas....past All Star Games in Dallas were:

Season 9...East 92, West 64...MVP of game was guard Uncle Bob Masterson of Philadelphia who was also the top scorer with 27 points.

Season 18...West 93, East 82...MVP was Dallas guard Joey Two-Tomes, who led all scorers with 28 points.

Season 30...West 75, East, 74 on a buzzer beater...MVP was center Max Payne of Dallas...top scorer was Cheetos Jones of Philadelphia with 23 points

Season 36...East 85, West 53...Co-MVPs were Chicago guard Didger A'doo and Houston rookie forward Vic Hitler...Hitler was top scorer with 19 points.

Season 49...West 83, East 76...MVP was forward Doo-rag Dripp of Sacramento...top scorer was Jesse Shershot of San Jose with 20

Note: For the first four of these games hosted by Dallas, the Demons were in the West Division before changing to the East in Season 40

MBA SEASON LEADERS AT THE HALFWAY POINT

Season 56 Featured Game No. 5...Los Angeles at San Jose...plus bonus

 

LOS ANGELES 90, SAN JOSE 89

BIG ONE STUNS AMIGOS IN COMEBACK

SAN JOSE -- Down 13 with 48 time units remaining, the Los Angeles Big One (now 3-2), spurred by a series of treys from retiring point guard Dick Papers, gave the home team San Jose Fighting Amigos (now 4-1) its first loss of the season 90-89. The win moved L.A. into second place ahead of Gillette, thanks to the division wins tie-breaker.

It was the first true barn-burner of the season and split the season series between the teams.

Papers hit what turned out to be the game-winning 3-pointer with 11 ticks left, then forced Vinny Zazeech into losing the ball on the dribble on the Amigos' final possession.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

32 GVP...He wouldn't have been in the starting lineup had Philibuck Davia not been injured, but second-year forward BIG "BLUE" BOTTLE took advantage of his opportunity and delivered the first POG of his career. The 6-8 Bottle played both forward positions in this game thanks to foul trouble to Turk Attaturk. Bottle ended up with a team-high 20 points on 9 of 12 shooting that included 2 for 2 from the foul line. Additionally, he topped everyone in the game with 4 blocked shots, including a key swat-away on L.S. Island late in the game. Bottle also led his team with 5 boards and topped the Big One in assists with 3. Is it back to the bench for the blue one once Davia returns after the All Star Game break?

Other 20-plus GVP performers

31 GVP...San Jose forward L.S. Island...21 points...6 rebounds...2 assists...2 blocked shots.

28 GVP...Retiring San Jose guard Vinny Zazeech...21 points...6 rebounds...1 assist.

24 GVP...Retiring San Jose Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan...14 points...4 rebounds...4 assists...2 blocked shots.

21 GVP...Retiring Los Angeles point guard Little Dickie Papers...17 points (5 treys)...3 rebounds...1 steal. 

21 GVP...San Jose power forward Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer...14 points...5 rebounds...1 assist...1 steal. 

MBA Standings … Season 56

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….4-0

PHILADELPHIA………3-1

MILWAUKEE………..2-2

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-3

CHARLESTON………. 1-4

 

WEST DIVISION

SAN JOSE…………4-1

LOS ANGELES….3-2

GILLETTE…………3-2

SEATTLE………….2-3

SACRAMENTO… 0-5

 

NEXT UP:  Milwaukee visits Philadelphia as the two playoff contenders square off for the second bracket in a row. Philly bested the Greyhounds72-64 in their last go-round, with Phillip Mianus leading the way for the Phobia. The winner of this game goes into the break in second place. 

BONUS

Triple double leaders into Season 56

ALL TIME LEADERS

17… Great Gruncle Terry, Hall of Fame guard (1 quadruple-double)

16…Jimsy Redfern, forward

11…Chip Battoe, Hall of Fame forward

11…Tom “the Bomb” Kondla, Hall of Fame center

9…Beezow Bop-Bop, Hall of Fame guard

9…Marcus Pettis, guard

8…Max Payne, Hall of Fame center

7…Wawa Wewa, forward

7…Tug Hershorts, Hall of Fame forward

7…J.D. Jedreat, forward (1 quadruple-double)

7…Diss Reflexia, Hall of Fame center

ACTIVE TRIPLE-DOUBLE LEADERS

6…Juzan Djinn, Hall of Fame guard

4…Ehhy Table, guard

4…J.J. Gargantuan, Hall of Fame center

4…Chochky Galumpkus, center

3…Dick Papers, guard

3…Leonard Pinth Garnel, forward

3…Vicious Hick, guard

Season 56 Retirements announcd

-- 52 players eligible for retirement...18 retired...34.6 percent

-- Team most impacted by retirements...San Jose Fighting Amigos...which makes the most sense since they currently have the oldest roster and the oldest starting lineup. Lost three players and two starters. Currently in first place and unbeaten in their division, this championship window, however slight because of Dallas, is probably slamming shut after this season.

-- Others hit hard were Los Angeles and Gillette.

-- Untouched by retirement: Dallas, Philadelphia, Charleston and Sacramento. 

-- Biggest Name to Retire...San Jose Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan...Not only is he the oldest player in the league, currently in his 19th season, Gargantuan is still a major contributor on a contending squad. He is tied for 19th place for most awards in history; he is currently in third place for all time points scored in MBA history, just 13 points behind Ching-Chong Chung, whom he will surely pass in the next six games. Along with Chung (2,016 points) and Mamadou Zongo (2,606), Gargantuan (currently at 2,003) is just one of three players to exceed 2,000 points in his MBA career. He is tied with fellow Hall of Fame center Max Payne for All Star Game appearances with 11. 

 

MVP and rookie of the Year Rankings after 4 brackets

 MVP Rankings

1. Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn of Dallas...30.6 GVP plus 5 for first-place team=35.6

going for third straight regular season MVP and fifth overall counting his two playoff MVPs

2. Guard Vicious Hick of Dallas...27.1 +5= 32.1

3. Power forward Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer of San Jose...26.2+5=31.2

4. Center Blob Dylan of Gillette...27.1+4=31.1

5. Small forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano of Dallas...24.3+5=29.3

 Rookie of the Year Rankings

1. Guard Maboroshi No Hotcake of Gillette...21.6 GVP

2. Power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho of Charleston...20.7

3. Guard Famichiki Whiskey of Charleston...18.9

Next Up: Retirements...57 players up for retirement...20 from cut pile

Season 56 Featured Game No. 4...Dallas at Charleston

 DALLAS 78, OKLAHOMA CITY 75

DEMONS ESCAPE AMBUSH

OKLAHOMA CITY -- The Dallas Demons (now 4-0), trailing for three quarters, finally took the lead from the surprisingly gritty Oklahoma City Lariats (now 1-3) and hung on for a 78-75 victory, the team's 17th in a row dating back to last season.

This was the closest the four-time-defending champions have come to losing since the last time they played Oklahoma City in bracket 9 of Season 55 when they escaped with a 79-76 win.

Unlike past scenarios, where once Dallas takes the lead in a game and blows the other squad away, Oklahoma City stayed close throughout the fourth quarter, cutting a 6-point lead down to 3 with 8 ticks left in the game. Then, giving Dallas forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano all the room he wanted from beyond the arc, Oklahoma City readied for the rebound. But, of course, Marzano, whose 3-point percentage in his four seasons has been 0.0, 0.0, 7.7 and 7.1, nailed the trey to sew up the victory. 

PLAYER OF THE GAME

35 GVP...The best player in the MBA took control of this game in the fourth quarter and captured his third POG of the season. We're talking, of course, of Hall of Fame guard JUZAN DJINN, who hit everything he put up in addition to blocking a key would-be bucket down the stretch. The seventh-year man missed half the first quarter due to a force-rest because of his age. But he still finished with a game-high 27 points, scoring from all four zones and dominating his man Barfly Gigglewaters. The 6-2 Djinn was 11 for 14 from the floor, potting 2 of 3 treys and all 3 of his free throws. Additionally, he tied for team-high in rebounds with 5, blocked 2 shots and registered 1 steal. While Djinn now has three POGs, nobody else in the league currently has more than 1. He's currently scoring at a 21.3 ppg clip, second highest MBA scorer, with the first being guard running mate Vicious Hick at 22.8 ppg.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

27 GVP...Dallas small forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano...16 points...5 rebounds...4 blocks...2 assists. 

25 GVP...Dallas point guard Vicious Hick...19 points (including 5 treys)...4 assists...2 rebounds. 

25 GVP...Oklahoma City center Poop-Rupiah 3000...15 points...6 rebounds...3 blocks...1 assist. 

24 GVP...Oklahoma City Hall of Fame small forward Crentis Dentist...17 points...4 rebounds...2 steals...1 assist. 

23 GVP...Oklahoma City point guard King Czardines...17 points...5 assists...1 rebound.

MBA Standings … Season 56

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………4-0

MILWAUKEE………..2-1

PHILADELPHIA………2-1

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-3

CHARLESTON………. 0-3

 

WEST DIVISION

SAN JOSE…………3-0

GILLETTE…………2-1

SEATTLE………….1-2

LOS ANGELES….1-2

SACRAMENTO… 0-3

 

NEXT UP:  Philadelphia at Milwaukee, both 2-1, in the first of two straight games against each other to conclude the first half of the season. Both are vying for that second playoff spot in the East.

Season 56 Featured Game No. 3...San Jose at Seattle...bracket summary...plus bonus

SAN JOSE 60, SEATTLE 51

AMIGOS REMAIN UNBOWED

SEATTLE -- The visiting San Jose Fighting Amigos (now 3-0) won a huge Western Division defensive contest, besting their preseason rivals from Seattle (now 1-2) 60-51.

The game was a defensive struggle, with both clubs shooting just 46 percent, with the visitors pulling away in the fourth quarter, which they won 20-10.

Seattle was missing its point guard for most of the second half, as Bellybutton Inquisition suffered an injury that had him on the bench for the remainder of the game.

PLAYER OF THE GAM

25 GVP...Looking to break a record he shares with fellow Hall of Fame center Max Payne for most All Star Game appearances, San Jose pivot J.J. GARGANTUAN put another POG in the books with a clutch performance against future Hall of Fame center Chochky Galumpkus. Gargantuan, the MBA's oldest active player in his 19th season, was picked up to be the rim protector San Jose badly needed with the team's first random pick in the draft. San Jose marks the fourth different franchise to take advantage of his varied talents. In this game, the 6-8 Gargantuan tied for game-high in rebounding with 7, scored 12 points on 5 for 12 shooting (2 for 2 free throwing), tied for game-high in assists with 3 and established a game-high  with 3 blocked shots. He seems to have plenty left in his tank.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

22 GVP...Seattle two guard Hilbee Juggleboy...13 points...5 rebounds..2 blocked shots...1 assist...1 steal.

21 GVP...San Jose point guard Donny Dupons...11 points...3 steals...3 rebounds...2 blocked shots...2 assists. 

BRACKET 3 SUMMARY

East Division...every team changed their place in the standings...Dallas, now alone in first, out-lasted Philly and Milwaukee in the undefeated status by laying a hondo on the Phobia, who dropped from second to third. Milwaukee also lost to drop from first to second. Oklahoma City's win over Charleston had them trade places in the standings, with the Mountaineers buried in the cellar and wondering what the fuck happened.

West Division...The only change came with Los Angeles beating Sacramento as the teams switched places from fourth to last.

BRACKET 4 

Bracket 4 kicks off with a FEATURED GAME between mighty Dallas and Oklahoma City on the Lariats' home court. The Demons are looking for victory number 17 in succession, which would be one off their own record. This is their fourth consecutive road game and nobody has come closer than 16 points to these monsters.This is their third Featured Game this season. They deserve to be in the spotlight. 

BONUS...COMPARING THE DYNASTY TEAMS

Comparing the current-day Dallas dynasty (4 straight titles…shooting for 5^th in a row) and Philadelphia’s five straight championships, beginning with Season 29.

PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA

Season 29…8-2 regular season (5-3 in playoffs)

Season 30…7-3 (5-2)

Season 31…8-2 (5-1)

Season 32…7-3 (5-2)

Season 33…8-2 (5-1)

 

Through first four titles in a row, the Phobia was 50-18 combined regular season and playoffs for a win percentage of .735.

Add the fifth title and they were 63-21…a winning percentage of .750

 

DALLAS DEMONS

Season 52…9-1 regular season (5-1 in playoffs)

Season 53…8-2 (5-2)

Season 54…10-0 (5-0)

Season 55…9-1 (5-0)

Season 56 (partial) 3-0

 

Through first four title Dallas was 56-7 combined regular season and playoffs for a win percentage of .888.

Add the three more wins and that total is 59-7…a winning percentage of .894. 

 

Season 56 Featured Game No. 2...Dallas at Charleston

DALLAS 83, CHARLESTON 67

TOO MUCH HICK IN DEMONS WIN

CHARLESTON -- Dallas point guard supreme Vicious Hick was a perfect 8 for 8 from 3-point range as the four-time defending champion Demons squashed the hopes of Charleston early and went on to win their 15th consecutive game, 83-67.

Charleston staged its biggest rally in the fourth quarter, halving an 18-point deficit to come within 9 points with 24 time units remaining, but one time unit later, Hick canned another long one to dash the faint hopes of the Mountaineers.

The Demons are now 2-0, while Charleston fell to 0-2.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

38 GVP...Third-year Dallas point guard VICIOUS HICK was virtually un-guardable on the way to a game-high 32-point performance in which he bombed away at will with an 8 for 8 effort from beyond the arc. The 32 points exceeded the previous Season 56 high by San Jose's Eddie Creamer, who netted 30 in his lone game this campaign. Anytime there was a scintilla of a chance for Charleston to get back into the game, Hick would calmly bury a deep trey. For the game, he was 12 for 15 from the floor, while dishing 2 assists and tying for game-high in rebounds with 5. He accomplished all this while missing 41 time units to a first quarter forced rest. This may well be the year he gets that first All-MBA foil star.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

25 GVP...Dallas forward Pete "The Steakman" Marzano...17 points on 7 of 7 shooting...4 rebounds...3 blocked shots...1 assist...2nd in turnovers caused with 3

25 GVP...Charleston rookie shooting guard Famichiki Whiskey...22 points (4 treys)...2 RBs...1 assist

21 GVP...Dallas Hall of Fame guard Juzan Djinn...10 points...5 assists...4 blocked shots...2 rebounds...tied for tops in points prevented with 5.

21 GVP...Charleston rookie power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...16 points...3 rebounds...2 blocks

21 GVP...Charleston small forward Piping Plover...12 points...5 rebounds...3 assists...1 steal...tops in turnovers caused with 4.

20 GVP...Charleston point guard Kopi Luwak...12 points...4 rebounds...3 assists...1 steal. 

Dallas prevented 12 points while Charleston prevented 8.

Dallas caused 7 turnovers while Charleston caused 6.

Tops in preventing points

1. Juzan Djinn of Dallas with 6

1. Nick Kenpoop of Dallas with 5

3. Grand Demur Fuyacho of Charleston with 4

Tops in causing turnovers

1. Piping Plover of Charleston with 4

2. Pete Marzano of Dallas with 3

MBA Standings … Season 56

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………2-0

PHILADELPHIA………1-0

MILWAUKEE………..1-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..0-1

CHARLESTON………. 0-2

 

WEST DIVISION

SAN JOSE…………1-0

GILLETTE…………1-0

SACRAMENTO… 0-1

LOS ANGELES….0-1

SEATTLE………….0-1

 

NEXT UP: Oklahoma City at Milwaukee. It’s been a while since the Greyhounds have been favored in this match-up, but they hold the upper hand in their first home game of the season. Starting off 2-0 would go a long way in soothing the “We-might-have-to-move-the-franchise” blues the team has been facing for a few seasons now. In fact, a win would put them in first place all alone thanks to the division wins tie-breaker.

Season 56 Featured Game No. 1...Dallas at Seattle

 

DALLAS 83, SEATTLE 62 (Slaughter Rule Enforced)

DEMONS STOMP STAMPEDE

SEATTLE -- The anticipation of two contenders knocking heads in their season openers faded quickly as the four-time defending champion Dallas Demons took control early and held on for a Slaughter Rule 83-62 cross-over road triumph at Seattle.

The home town Stampede did manage to raise the hopes temporarily in the third quarter when they cut Dallas' 21-point advantage to just 8, but they never got that close again.

Dallas now has 14 consecutive wins, closing in on its own record of 18 straight, which was only interrupted by a loss in their second game last season. That's 31 wins in 32 games.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

29 GVP...Hall of Fame Dallas guard JUZAN DJINN got his seventh season off on the right foot, capturing POG honors with a game-high 21-point performance, despite being guarded by the fine defender Hilbee Juggleboy, whom he smoked. Djinn, who actually had to sit for a while for the first time due to his age, is coming off back-to-back MVP campaigns and, aside from the forced rest, shows no signs of slowing down. He was 7 for 13 from the floor, draining 3 treys in 7 tries while going a perfect 4 for 4 from the foul line. The 6-2 star also grabbed 5 boards, blocked 2 shots and added 1 assist. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

27 GVP...Seattle center Chochky Galumpkus...16 points...6 rebounds...3 blocks...1 steal...1 assist.

25 GVP...Dallas forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano...19 points (7 for 7)...5 rebounds...1 block.

21 GVP...Dallas point guard Vicious Hick...16 points...4 rebounds...1 assist.

21 GVP...Dallas power forward Nick Kenpoop...10 points...7 rebounds...2 blocks...1 assist...1 steal.

MBA Standings … Season 56

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA……..1-0

DALLAS………………1-0

CHARLESTON……….

MILWAUKEE………..

OKLAHOMA CITY…..0-1

 

WEST DIVISION

SAN JOSE…………

GILLETTE…………

SACRAMENTO…

LOS ANGELES…..

SEATTLE………….0-1

 

NEXT UP: Milwaukee at Charleston. I don’t think that the Mountaineers have ever held the overall edge against Milwaukee, but a win here will give them just that. The teams (both originals) have played a total of 106 games with each winning 53 to this point. Charleston is favored over an improved Greyhounds team.

Season 56 Preview

 Although many changes have been made to the 10 MBA squads, it appears that the same four teams that made the playoffs last season are favorites to get back to the post-season in Season 56. Dallas, shooting for a historic fifth consecutive championship, is the overall favorite once again. But, of course, anything can happen in the topsy-turvy world of the MBA.

THE EAST

Dallas and Charleston look like playoff repeaters. But can Milwaukee stay out of the cellar and away from a 50 percent roll for changing cities? Third through fifth place are toss-ups.

1. DALLAS DEMONS...4-time defending champs...9-1 last season, 5-0 in playoffs

Winners of 30 of their last 31 games and their last 13 in a row indicates the pure dominance of this team. Lost longtime power forward Satan Israel to free agency but replaced him with promising second-year man Nick Kenpoop in trade with Charleston. Dallas runs the mini-gauntlet right out of the gate, opening the season with road games at Seattle and Charleston, both considered to be their top opponents. The guard tandem of Hall of Famer Juzan Djinn and Vicious Hick is one of the best of all time. 

2. CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS...6-4 last season, 2-3 in playoffs, losing in Finals to Dallas

Youngest roster and starting lineup in league has been revamped to include concensus choice of top rookie, shooting guard Famichiki Whiskey and 6-10 power forward Grand Demur Fuyacho, a top three rookie who will give Charleston much-needed rebounding. Moving Kopi Luwak to the point should increase his scoring, and small forward Piping Plover is coming off back to back All-MBA seasons. Toppling Dallas, however, is a tall order, despite the obvious improvements to the Mountaineers.

3. PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA...5-5 last season, fourth place

Lost both starting guards from last season (Dick Papers to Los Angeles and Splash Gordon to retirement). Johnny Jazzhands as a starting guard sets off warning bells. But the front line of center Brother Jasper and forwards Leonard Pinth Garnel and Phillip Mianus (the latter a newcomer) is solid.

4. MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS...2-8 last season, last place

Can they stop the unhealthy trend of three consecutive last-place finishes, all with 2-8 records? Front line totally revamped and should score more, but lost defense with J.J. Gargantuan leaving, and only Los Angeles yielded more points last season.

5. OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS...5-5 last season, third place

Window of contending seems over. Worse at two spots in starting lineup. Could maybe rise to third.

Tyler picks

1. Dallas

2. Charleston

3. Milwaukee

4. Oklahoma City

5. Philadelphia

THE WEST

Seattle and San Jose look like the class of the West, with the last three spots up for grabs. But this division always comes up with at least one surprise team every season.

1. SEATTLE STAMPEDE...7-3 last season, first place, 0-2 in playoffs

Had the best regular season defense last season and improved it with addition of top defending power forward Kevin Duran-Duran via trade with Sacramento. Ranked sixth on offense, and adding only Duran-Duran (9.6 ppg last season, 53.4 %) doesn't seem to help there. But that is a strong front line with Duran-Duran, center Chochky Galumpkus and third-year star Erik A. Crocidale. They get tested immediately with a season opening cross-over at home against mighty Dallas. 

2. SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS...7-3 last season, second place, 0-2 in playoffs.

By far the oldest roster in the MBA. They need to win now. Toward that end, added much-needed rim protector in ancient Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan via free agency and talented but untested forward L.S. Island in trade with Philadelphia. Can guard Vinny Zazeech and forward Eddie Creamer repeat their All-MBA seasons of last campaign? Point guard Donny Dupons is also a key.

3. LOS ANGELES BIG ONE...1-9 last season, last place

Added two solid veterans to starting lineup in guard Dick Papers and forward Turk Attaturk. They join the explosive guard Pinky Toe and defensive center Chat Bot as starters. Power forward, 6-10 Philibuck Davia is a question mark.This team should be able to avoid last place, and could even get second.

4. GILLETTE HUMPS...6-4 last season, third place

Only one newcomer added to the roster, but he's very promising. Rookie guard Maboroshi No Hotcake replaces veteran Joey Shamadu, Jr. to run the point. But weakness at forwards will be hard to overcome.

5. SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS...2-8 last season, fourth place

League's worst offense replaced power forward Kevin Duran-Duran with Dallas stalwart Satan Israel, but they will struggle to get out of the cellar.

Tyler picks

1. Seattle

2. San Jose

3. Los Angeles

4. Gillette

5. Sacramento

ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS(from Dave)

Guard...Hall of Famer Juzan Djinn of Dallas

Guard...Rookie Famichiki Whiskey of Charleston

Center...Chochky Galumpkus of Seattle

Forward...Satan Israel of Sacramento

Forward...Hall of Famer Crentis Dentist of Oklahoma City

ALL-MBA PREDICTIONS (from Tyler)

Guard...Juzan Djinn, Dallas

Guard...Pinky Toe, Los Angeles

Center...Biggus Dickus, Dallas

Forward...Satan Israel, Sacramento

Forward...Erik A. Crocidale, Seattle

MVP

Center Chochky Galumpkus of Oklahoma City (Dave)

Guard Pinky Toe of Los Angeles (Tyler)

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

Guard Famichiki Whiskey of Charleston (both Dave and Tyler)

ACTIVE HALL OF FAMERS ENTERING SEASON 56

17 awards…Juzan Djinn, Dallas guard

14 awards…J.J. Gargantuan, San Jose center

13 awards…Crentis Dentist, Oklahoma City forward

 

ACTIVE PLAYERS CLOSEST TO THE HALL

9 awards…Chochky Galumpkus, Seattle center

8 awards…Kopi Luwak, Charleston guard

8 awards…Pete “the Steakman” Marzano, Dallas forward

7 awards…Satan Israel, Sacramento River Dogs forward

7 awards…Biggus Dickus, Dallas center

7 awards…Al A. Orden, Dallas forward

6 awards…Eddie “the Milkman” Creamer, San Jose forward

5 awards…Flufferton Springs, Philadelphia guard

5 awards…Vinny Zazeech, San Jose guard

5 awards…Vicious Hick, Dallas guard

5 awards…Johnny Bananas, Milwaukee center

 

TEN OR MORE SEASONS ENTERING SEASON 56

19 seasons…J.J. Gargantuan, San Jose center

16 seasons…Al A. Orden, Dallas forward

14 seasons…Hurricane Furrwizard, Los Angeles guard

13 seasons…Chai Walla, cut pile guard

12 seasons…Eddie “the Milkman” Creamer, San Jose forward

12 seasons…Phillip Mamouf-Wifarts, cut pile guard

11 seasons…Nicholas Pickles, cut pile forward

11 seasons…Charles “F.P.” Pompeo, cut pile guard

11 seasons…Ray “Big Ticket” Natuzzi, cut pile guard

10 seasons…Joe Momsawhore, San Jose guard

10 seasons…Dick Papers, Los Angeles guard

10 seasons…Jospah Gecan, San Jose forward

10 seasons…Tootie Heathcliffe, cut pile forward

10 seasons…Itsaka Numdrum, cut pile guard

10 seasons…Vito Andolini, Oklahoma City forward

NEXT UP: The Season opener, with Oklahoma City at Philadelphia

The first bracket's FEATURED GAME follows, with Dallas taking on Seattle in a battle of preseason favorites to win their respective divisions.

Season 56 Improvements/Regressions

Summary: Individually speaking, there wasn't a great deal of change, either plus or minus, to MBA players this season. It appears that free agents did the most improving overall.

-- Turk Attaturk, Los Angeles forward acquired in free agency from Philly, improved to a 5 against the pass, which will make him a tough defender on the edge for The Big One. 

-- Milwaukee guard Itstha Bishop, who tied for the league lead in scoring last season, improved against both the pass and the dribble to 2s on each, making him a tougher defender.

-- Phillip Mianus, acquired in free agency from Oklahoma City, improved his passing to a 5, making his move to small forward more palatable, while also going from a 3 to a 4 against the dribble.

-- Second-year San Jose point guard Donny Dupons improved three times. He's now a 4 against the pass and has a block on 8 against the shot. The third improvement was going from a 0 to a 1 on offensive rebounding, so, no big whoop there.

-- San Jose's newly acquired Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan, entering his 19th season, is showing his age a little more, having lost a point against the dribble and the pass, where he is a 0 and a 1, respectively. However, he can still alter shots with the best of them. 

-- Seattle picked up Karma Chameleon from Sacramento in free agency, and the offensive-minded guard upgraded twice against the shot, adding a deny on 5 and upping his forced miss on 11 to a block.

-- Seattle's All-MBA center Chochky Galumpkus, on the verge of the Hall of Fame, has added passing to his already impressive card. After getting a career-high 2.6 assists per game last season, he upped his passing ability from a 7 to an 8.

Demons regress: The four-time defending champs from Dallas fared the worst in improvements this season. Of the 8 players up, 7 either got slightly worse or remained the same. Guard Vicious Hick is now a zero against the dribble and center Biggus Dickus went from a 6 passer to a 5. But overall, the regressions were negligible. The good news for the rest of the league is that the Demons players did not get even better than they have been. 

 

Season 56 Rookie Game

 ROOKIES 70, CUT PILE 57

HO-HUM ROOKIE WIN

In what was expected to be a Season 56 Rookies Team blowout, the MBA newcomers never really got untracked on the way to an unimpressive 70-57 victory over a gallant, no-talent team of Cut Pile Boys.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

29 GVP...Gillette rookie guard MABOROSHI NO HOTCAKE bombed in 3 long ones on the way to a game-high 21 points in this victory in which he dominated Bobby Blumpkin. The 6-2 Hotcake was 7 for 12 from the field (3 for 5 from deep) while posting a perfect 4 for 4 from the foul stripe. He also pulled down 5 rebounds while tying for team lead in assists with 3.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

27 GVP...6-10 Dallas rookie forward Grand Demur Fuyacho...19 points...5 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 block

23 GVP...Fresh to the cut pile, center Harry "Big Stink" Merdaio...16 points, 5 rebounds, 1 block, 1 ast.

Cut Pile Boys prevented 9 points

Rookies prevented 6 points

Top player in points prevented...Cut Pile Boy Spastic Colin with 5

Season 56 MBA Draft

LOS ANGELES

Looks like they improved enough to get out of the cellar, drafting two veteran starters in guard Dick Papers and small forward Turk Attaturk. Rookie center Otzi Bolzano seems like a capable backup.

MILWAUKEE

Improved slightly with addition of veteran forward Scobee Bryant. Getting two-time, but often-injured All-MBA center Johnny Bananas will help offensively, but he will be replacing Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan, who was the best defender on a team that finished last in defense.

SACRAMENTO

League's worst offensive team lost top scorer Karma Chameleon but picked up Dallas mainstay Satan Israel at forward. Rookies Shtoink (guard) and Mac Arnold (forward) seem capable but don't appear to be difference makers. Rookie center Xandiloquence Bizarre the Ab3rd is an okay backup. 

PHILADELPHIA

Got solid third-year man Leonard Pinth Garnel back, who will pair with free agent Phillip Mianus for a strong defensive forward tandem. Did not address the loss of retired two guard Splash Gordon and thus appear to be worse than last season's 5-5 club.

OKLAHOMA CITY

Their biggest get was the massive and highly rated rookie center Hooza Goodboi. But he will be sitting behind last season's team MVP and league Rookie of the Year Poop-Rupiah 3000. They still have holes at forward and two guard, so three seasons of playoff contention seem to have come to an end.

GILLETTE

Needed a starting forward and drafted three guards. Reliable scoring guard Joey "Joe-Joe" Shamadu Jr. returns to the fold after testing free agency waters, but he may be replaced by rookie guard Maboroshi No Hotcake, who can match him in long-range shooting but is a better rebounder for a team that sucked in rebounding last season.

SAN JOSE

Surprise playoff team from last season addressed their need for a rim-protecting center by snagging ancient but still effective free agent Hall of Famer J.J. Gargantuan. Longtime Oklahoma City starter, guard Handsy Joe Potatoe adds depth to starting guard tandem. Small forward position, as of now, will be filled by someone from the cut pile draft. 

SEATTLE

Retirement of forward Frog Morton will change the dynamic of the Stampede's starting lineup, as neither rookie forwards Zuzus Petals or Ken L. Koff (cut) will fill that gap. Picked up a real scorer in free-agent guard Karma Chameleon, who was Sacramento's top point-getter and team MVP. It will be interesting to see if he replaces Hilbee Juggleboy in the starting lineup. Seattle made their bones on defense last season and Juggleboy was one of their toughest defenders.

CHARLESTON

He lasted until the 29th pick in the draft, and when the next big thing, rookie guard Famichiki Whiskey was finally snagged by the Mountaineers it made last season's finalists a stronger contender to four-time champion Dallas.  Whiskey can fill it up and also plays superb defense at the two guard spot. Paired with Kopi Luwak at guard, he gives Charleston a potent offensive backcourt. Rookie guard Skibidi Hooper adds solid depth and even more defense coming off the bench. Superb draft for having just two picks.

DALLAS

Despite losing longtime starting power forward Satan Israel to free agency, the four-time title defenders are still the team to beat. They picked up the top rookie forward, 6-10 Grand Demur Fuyacho with their first prime pick. He will fight for the starting spot left vacant by Israel with Venial Sinn. Dallas also added rookie guard Wrinkly Tinkyly Toe, brother of star L.A. guard Pinky Toe. Though not a standout like his bro, this Toe adds more depth to a deep Dallas bunch. The Demons first pick from the Charleston trade for Kopi Luwak was negligible. Rookie forward Big Ben Pettis was cut, and later picked up by Charleston.

Note...just four rookies of the 16 did not make a team this season.

NEXT UP

The Rookie Game this season will pit the newcomers against the Cut Pile.

The Cut Pile boys will be:

Starters...

Guard Bobby Blumpkin

Guard Itsaka Numdrum

Center Harry "Big Stink" Merdaio

Forward Spastic Colin

Forward Idna "The Lazax" Valsid

Subs...

Guard Old Man Mahoffer

Guard Swifty Twitch

Forward Ed "Horsehead" Henderson

Forward Ichie Boobies

Center Dave "Uncle Dunk" Tesh

The rookies squad, based on Tyler's rankings, will be

Starters...

Guard Maboroshi No Hotcake of Gillette

Guard Famichiki Whiskey of Charleston

Center Hooza Goodboi of Oklahoma City

Forward Grand Demur Fuyacho of Dallas

Forward Mac "the Whack" Arnold of Sacramento

Subs...

Guard Skibidi Hooper of Charleston

Guard Wrinkly Tinklyly Toe of Dallas

Forward Zuzus Petals of Seattle

Forward Big Ben Pettis of Charleston

Center Otzi "The Frozen Hunter" Bolzano of Los Angeles

Last season's Rookie Game, also against the Cut Pile, was a massacre in favor of the Rookies, who prevailed 81-53. Los Angeles rookie Big "Blue" Bottle was the Player of the Game with 19 points, 7 rebounds, 3 steals and 1 blocked shot.