Season 53 Featured Game No. 2....Philadelphia at Dallas

 DALLAS 88, PHILADELPHIA 71

DEMONS DUMP PHILLY FAST

LOSE SATAN ISRAEL FOR REST OF SEASON TO INJURY

DALLAS -- It was a bittersweet win for The Whiz Kids from Dallas (now 2-0) as they easily disposed of the visiting foes from Philadelphia 88-71, but lost the services of excellent power forward Satan Israel for the remainder of the season.

The injury occurred with 32 ticks left in the first quarter and comes on the heels of Israel's injury last season that kept him from participating in the team's championship playoff run.

A positive note for Dallas is that they won the entire thing without Israel last season and can likely do so again. 

He was a unanimous preseason pick to make his second All-MBA team in Season 53.

(Note to Tyler...you need to pick up a forward to the cut pile.)

PLAYER OF THE GAME

29 GVP ... Outstanding Dallas two guard JUZAN DJINN has started Season 53 like he expects to be league MVP, to say nothing of All-MBA (which he was not predicted to do by either MBA owner). The fourth-year star followed his opening game 22-point effort with a game-high 24 points against Philadelphia, dwarfing his opposite Flufferton Springs in the process. The 6-2 Djinn was 11 for 13 from the floor (showing what he could accomplish percentage-wise by ignoring the 3-point shot) and 2 for 2 from the foul line. He added 4 rebounds and a blocked shot to his GVP total.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

28 GVP...Second-year Dallas point guard and last season's Rookie of the Year Kopi Luwak drilled his first five 3-point attempts (eventually settling for 6 deep buckets) on the way to his second 20-point game in as many outings. Luwak distributed the rock at a high rate as well, tying for game-high in assists with 6 while also adding 2 rebounds.

28 GVP...Super-sub Al A. Orden, one of the league's oldest players in his 13th season, answered the call brilliantly once more with the injury to Israel. The veteran forward dominated his man, Wawa Wewa, causing him to foul out while Orden scored 15 points and hauled down a game-high 7 rebounds. He also led everyone in steals with 2 and came within one assist, with 4, of a triple-double. The 6-8 Orden, who has played his entire career with Dallas, tied for causing the most turnovers in the game as well.

22 GVP...Philly point guard Ehhy Table bounced back from a disappointing performance in the team's opener, scoring a team-high 17 poiints, adding 2 rebounds, 2 assists and 1 steal. 

20 GVP...Dallas' second-year forward Pete "the Steakman" Marzano was a force near the hoop, slamming home three buckets on the way to an 11-point game that also saw him tie for causing the most defensive turnovers. He grabbed 5 rebounds, tied for game-high with 2 blocked shots, assisted 1 time and stole 1. 

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Philadelphia...4...6...2...2   Total=14

Dallas.............2...4...2...0   Total=8

TOP PLAYERS POINTS PREVENTED

6...Biggus Dickus, Dallas

6...Taco Toosdae, Philadelphia

6...D. Fenestration, Dallas

TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTERS

Philadelphia...0...0...3...2  Total=5

Dallas.............2...4...0...1  Total=7

TOP PLAYERS IN TURNOVERS CAUSED

3...Pete Marzano, Dallas

3...Al A. Orden, Dallas

2...Eh Table, Philadelphia

MBA Standings … Season 53

EAST DIVISION

DALLAS………………….2-0

OKLAHOMA CITY…..1-0

PHILADELPHIA………1-1

CHARLESTON………. 0-1

MILWAUKEE……….. 0-1

 

WEST DIVISION

GILLETTE…………. 2-0

SACRAMENTO…1-1

LOS ANGELES….. 1-1

SAN JOSE………….0-1

 SEATTLE…………..0-2

NEXT UP:  Cross-over with two of Dave’s teams as San Jose visits Oklahoma City. The Fighting Amigos don’t want to start another season 0-2 and the Lariats need a victory to keep pace with Dallas and ahead of Philadelphia. Should be an interesting contest.

Season 53 Featured Game No. 1...San Jose at Sacramento

 SACRAMENTO 82, SAN JOSE 71

R-DOGS JUMP AMIGOS EARLY IN BIG WIN

SACRAMENTO -- So much for San Jose going unbeaten in the regular season as the home team River Dogs of Sacramento hung a 31-point first quarter on the visitors and coasted to an opening day 82-71 win.

The only downside for the victors was the first quarter loss of guard Flip Phelps who was 2 for 2 from deep in the first quarter and then felled for three games to injury (Hurricane Furrwizard was picked up in his place).

PLAYER OF THE GAME

24 GVP...Couldn't blame this loss on the new acquisition to the San Jose lineup, 6-8 guard VINNY ZAZEECH. Playing the point, the third-year man led all scorers with 22 points, hitting his first five 3-pointers before finally missing one. He was 7 for 11 from the floor (slamming one home), 3 for 6 from the foul one and pulled down 2 rebounds in an excellent Amigos debut.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

21 GVP...Sacramento's rookie shooting guard Karma Chameleon held up very well in his first MBA contest, tying for team-high in scoring with 15 points, tying for team-high in rebounds with 5 and adding 1 assist.

21 GVP...Fifth-year forward Crentis Dentist of Sacramento tied for team high in scoring with 15 points, grabbed 2 boards, assisted 1 time and blocked 1 shot. He also got out of the blocks very well toward defending his steals title from last season, swiping a game-high 2 steals.

21 GVP...San Jose mainstay Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer scored 15 points, pulled down 4 rebounds, assisted 1 and stole 1 in the loss.

20 GVP...Sturdy San Jose power forward Charles Broccoli hauled down a game-high 6 caroms, scored 13 points and registered 1 assist in the loss.

NEXT UP: Plenty of tickets remain for the Los Angeles Big One's home opener. They take on the Gillette Humps to start the Season 53 campaign.

Season 53 predictions...schedule...improvements...trades

EAST DIVISION 

1. Dallas Demons (1st...8-2, 5-2)...Defending champs are one year older and one year better by improvements. Still the league's youngest starting lineup, the Whiz Kids added two solid rookies (guard Dominus Vobiscum and forward Philibuck Davia) for bench strength and center Izzy Mandelbaum. Overwhelming favorite also further secured the future by obtaining a prime pick from Charleston next season for center Johnny Bananas. Stars at every position with deep bench. Another title is expected.

2. Philadelphia Phobia (3rd...5-5) ...Missed the playoffs in the rugged East last season and will be in a scramble with Oklahoma City for the second spot this season. Just two roster changes, the most important being shooting guard Flufferton Springs who allows Ehhy Table to move to the point where he is more effective. Front court kind of aging, with both forwards and center suffering regressions.

3. Oklahoma City Lariats (4th...5-5)...Probably Dave's best overall team, but being in the East makes playoffs a real challenge. Should improve on last season's worst team defense with additon of rookie forward Phillip Mianus. Tied for top offense last season, and that's with an off year by Handsy Joe Potatoe.

4. Charleston Mountaineers (Last...5-5) Finishing last with a .500 record is brutal. Lost top scorer Vinny Zazeech so probably won't top league (tied) in scoring again. Two newcomers, guard Freddy Gooch and rookie forward Piping Plover, in starting lineup.

5. Milwaukee Greyhounds (2nd...5-5, 4-3) Picked last in Season 52 also, but ended up one victory away from a championship. Don't count them out. Added Hall of Famer J.J. Gargantuan and sharpshooting guard Itstha Bishop.

WEST DIVISION 

1. San Jose Fighting Amigos (2nd...5-5, 0-2)...Finally got some guard help in Vinny Zazeech (17.1 ppg) to help perennial All-MBA Hall of Fame guard and defending MVP Jesse Shershot, Team looking for fifth consecutive playoff berth. Window closing on Shershot era and shot at another title. Oldest overall roster in the league. Need best overall record in order to get home court advantage throughout the playoffs and keep Shershot away from Juzan Djinn in majority of Finals match-ups. A West powerhouse.

2. Sacramento River Dogs (1st...6-4, 0-2)...Lost both starting guards (including top scorer Stankpig Pigglesworth at 15.5 ppg), but should actually be improved in backcourt with acquisitions of Flip Phelps and rookie Karma Chameleon. Seven of 10 players on roster are new to the team, including rookie 7-foot center China P. Strength is forwards with Kevin Duran-Duran and Crentis Dentist.

3. Seattle Stampede (3rd...5-5) Half the roster is new, including two new starters, rookie guard Bellybutton Inquisition and veteran forward Frog Morton. Deep bench makes them a playoff threat. They start the smallest guard combo we've seen in a long time, 5-9 Fuck Mountain and 5-11 Inquisition.

4. Gillette Humps (4th...4-6) Added big piece to build on in rookie center Blob Dylan. A lot will depend on how second year guard Joey Joe Joe Shamadu Jr. performs at the point guard spot. On verge of playoffs.

5. Los Angeles Big One (Last...2-8) Two seasons removed from back-to-back titles, their roster now resembles an expansion franchise.

ALL MBA PREDICTIONS

FROM TYLER

Guard...Jesse Shershot, San Jose

Guard...Itstha Bishop, Milwaukee

Center...Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

Forward...Satan Israel, Dallas

Forward...D. Fenestration, Philadelphia

FROM DAVE

Guard...Jesse Shershop, San Jose

Guard...King Czardines, Oklahoma City

Center...Chochky Galumpkus, Oklahoma City

Forward...Satan Israel, Dallas

Forward...Sheetrock Hudson, Charleston

MVP PREDICTIONS

Tyler....Jesse Shershot, San Jose

Dave...Jesse Shershot, San Jose

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR PREDICTIONS

Tyler...Itstha Bishop, Milwaukee

Dave...Phillip Mianus, Oklahoma City

HALL OF FAME WATCH (10 awards needed for enshrinement)

17 awards...Jesse Shershot, San Jose (active Hall of Famer)

13 awards...J.J. Gargantuan, Milwaukee (active Hall of Famer)

9 awards...Crentis Dentist, Sacramento

7 awards...Chochky Galumpus, Oklahoma City

6 awards...Frog Morton, Seattle

5 awards...Juzan Djinn, Dallas

5 awards...Flufferton Springs, Philadelphia

5 awards...Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer, San Jose

5 awards...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia

5 awards...Sheetrock Hudson, Charleston

CONSECUTIVE GAMES

120...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia .... will break the record of 120 he currently holds with Hall of Fame forward Raisin Sport when he plays first game of Season 53.

90...Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee

MOST SEASONS PLAYED AMONG ACTIVE PLAYERS

16...J.J. Gargantuan, Hall of Famer now on Milwaukee

16...Peter Pizza, now in cut pile

15...Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee

13...Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia

13...Al A. Orden, Dallas (all with Dallas)

13...Bougainvillea Hedge, Seattle

NEXT UP: Season 53 opener with defending champion Dallas at Seattle in a cross-over.