Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Season 50 Featured Game No. 5...Los Angeles at Milwaukee...Plus Golden Extras

Los Angeles 92, Milwaukee 60

Big One destroys Milwaukee

MILWAUKEE -- In a season replete with massacres, the visiting Los Angeles Big One delivered the most massive beating of Season 50, smashing first-place Milwaukee 92-60 on the Greyhounds' own home court. 

This was the eighth "slaughter rule" game already this season and the fourth in a row on the schedule. Comparatively speaking, there were 9 such games total all last season...and we haven't even hit the halfway mark yet this campaign. 

The destruction delivered by L.A. makes them 4-1 for the season and puts them temporarily in first place in the West Division. It was the first time all season that a West team has beaten an East team in five cross-over contests thus far. It was the third win in a row for The Big One.

The Big One, using its excellent guard tandem of Great Gruncle Terry and Flufferton Springs, got out of the gate quickly to a 25-14 first-quarter lead and were never threatened.

Milwaukee, now 3-2,  drops out of first place in the East.

POINTS PREVENTED BY TEAM

Los Angeles...13

Milwaukee.......4

TOP INDIVIDUALS IN POINTS PREVENTED

1. Quick Tink, Los Angeles ... 6

2. Lothario Fartlek, Milwaukee...4

3. Great Gruncle Terry, Los Angeles...3


PLAYER OF THE GAME
After playing for Milwaukee for one season, GREAT GRUNCLE TERRY of Los Angeles made his first trip back to the Midwest a memorable one, burning his former team for 20 points, a game-high 6 assists, 2 blocked shots, 3 rebounds and 1 steal. He owned Fatty McButterpants. The seventh-year point guard was 7 for 12 from the floor and uncharacteristically launched 7 treys, popping in 4 of them. He was 2 for 2 from the foul line. This performance locks him in for his fourth All Star Game appearance.

Other 20-plus GVP performers
-- The other half of L.A.'s dynamic guard duo, Flufferton Springs, led all scorers with 22 points while handing out 3 assists and grabbing 2 rebounds. Going head-to-head with another fine rookie, Thomas Thomas Thomas, it can safely be said that Springs got very much the better of that battle. He is a cinch for the All Star Game with his 19.2 per game scoring average, which is second in the league.

-- Another dominant performance by an L.A. player was by center Quick Tink, who won the battle of pivots with Lothario Fartlek with a 12-point game that included a game-high (tied) 3 blocked shots, 3 rebounds and 2 assists. The 6-8 fifth-year center led everyone in the game with 6 points prevented, holding Fartlek to just 4 points.

-- Having another excellent season is second-year Los Angeles forward Crentis Dentist, who took apart Entha Shortzone, the Milwaukee forward who was having an outstanding campaign. Dentist held Shortzone to 2 points while scoring 12. He blocked 3 shots to tie for high in the game, stole a game-high 2 passes, grabbed 3 boards and had 1 assist. 

-- The only Milwaukee player to get on this GVP list is 12-year power forward Ape Con Myth, who dominated his Los Angeles opponent Turk Attaturk. Myth used his 6-10 patented short jumper to amass a team-high 21 points while tying for team-high in rebounds with 5. He added 3 assists. 


MBA Standings … Season 50

EAST DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA…..3-1

CHARLESTON…… 3-1

MILWAUKEE…….. 3-2

DALLAS…………...2-2

OKLAHOMA CITY 1-3

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES…..4-1

SAN JOSE………..3-1

GILLETTE……….1-3

SACRAMENTO….1-3

SEATTLE…………0-4

 

Next Game:  Do we smell another slaughter rule game coming up? It’s quite possible. The last time Charleston met Oklahoma City, the Mountaineers put a “hondo” on the Lariats with a 103-72 whooping. This game is in Oklahoma City.


MOUNT RUSHMORE OF EACH FRANCHISE




Fifth in a Series
BASED ON NUMBER OF AWARDS GARNERED BY A PLAYER WHILE PLAYING FOR THIS TEAM.

Milwaukee Greyhounds

CAPPY GAMBOL, Hall of Fame guard

DAN MANN, Hall of Fame guard

HRUNDI V. BAKSHI, Hall of Fame guard

LINUS MANDRAKE, guard


2nd Golden Bonus: 👎

The 10 Lowest-ranked players in MBA History

No. 6


In the cutpile from Season 33 through Season 40, 6-8 forward Gunga Galunga's was the 12th son of a Lama who's only notable brush with fame came in the movie Caddyshack, where groundskeeper Carl Spackler invokes his name in a golf story. Spackler, who caddied for the Lama's son once, asked for payment on some good golf advice he gave him. 
Galunga replied "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness."
"So," Spackler noted, "I got that goin' for me. Which is nice."























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Monday, March 14, 2022

Season 50 Featured Game No. 4...Los Angeles at Sacramento...with Golden Bonus Extras

 Los Angeles 87, Sacramento 80

BIG ONE BAGS A BIG ONE

SACRAMENTO -- Utilizing the two-pronged passing attack of the top two assist men in the league, the Los Angeles Big One (now 3-1) out-gunned the home team Sacramento River Dogs (now 1-3) 87-80. 

The win puts the L.A. team in first place in the West by half a game.

There were some wild swings in this game, which saw L.A. sprint to a sizeable 25-14 lead in the first quarter and hold it by 9 at the half. 

But Sacramento, led by Wardy Joubert's 10-point third quarter, took the lead at the end of the third, 64-60.

The final stanza was nip and tuck all the way to the home stretch where the lead changed hands seven times until L.A. scored three consecutive buckets to gain a 5-point advantage.

The R-Dogs got within three with 10 ticks left, but rookie sensation Flufferton Springs of The Big One slammed the door with a long trey, followed soon after by a medium jumper that sealed the deal with 5 left in the game. 

Two blocked shots near the game's end by L.A.'s Crentis Dentist helped keep Sacramento at bay.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Los Angeles...0...9...2...6   Total=17

Sacramento....0...4...4...2   Total=10

Five players tied for tops in points prevented with 4 each...Great Gruncle Terry, Quick Tink and Crentis Dentist of Los Angeles and Tree Fiddy and Wardy Joubert of Sacramento.


PLAYER OF THE GAME
Now averaging 18.5 points per game, Los Angeles rookie sensation FLUFFERTON SPRINGS started and ended strong in this game as the crack shot southpaw delivered a game-high 29 points while also assisting on a game-high 6 buckets. The 6-foot Springs was a smoking 12 for 14 from his two-guard position, rippling the cotton 3 of 5 times from deep and going 2 for 2 from the foul line. He got his team off to a big lead with a 13-point first quarter and had 19 points by halftime. He then hit two big buckets near the end of the game to help L.A. seal the deal. He also added a steal and a blocked shot. This was his second POG this season, tying him for the most with Chochky Galumpkus of Dallas.

Other 20-plus GVP performers
-- Former Sacramento favorite Great Gruncle Terry made his first trip back to the Dog Pound as a member of Los Angeles and punished his old team with a 21-point performance that included 5 assists, 4 rebounds and a blocked shot. He tied for most points prevented in the game and lorded it over his opposite, Junior Dabas. "He had us waiting in the lobby," screamed his old coach, Frankie Pantangeli of Sacramento.

-- Enjoying the finest campaign in this, his fifth season, Los Angeles center Quick Tink led everyone with 5 rebounds while scoring 17 points, adding 1 assist and playing defense that included tying for the top spot in points prevented.

-- Sacramento's veteran shooting guard Buddy Flakes was outstanding in defeat, nearly matching his opposite, Springs, bucket for bucket. Flakes led the way for Sacramento with 26 points while pulling down 3 rebounds and handing out 1 assist.

-- River Dog power forward Wardy Joubert III, among the league scoring leaders, did not disappoint with a 16-point effort that included a game-high 2 steals. He tied for team-high in rebounds with 4, blocked 1 shot and tied for most points prevented in the game. 

-- Now in his 10th campaign, Hall of Fame Sacramento forward Doo-rag Dripp had his best game of the season with 15 points. He tied for team-high in rebounds with 4 and blocked 1 shot. 

MBA Standings … Season 50

EAST DIVISION

MILWAUKEE……. 2-1

DALLAS…………..2-1

CHARLESTON……2-1

PHILADELPHIA…..2-1

OKLAHOMA CITY 1-2

 

WEST DIVISION

LOS ANGELES…..3-1

SAN JOSE………….2-1

GILLETTE…………..1-2

SACRAMENTO….1-3

SEATTLE……………0-3

 

Next Game: The league’s lone winless team, Seattle, travels to the home court of defending champion San Jose. The Fighting Amigos can regain first place in the West  with a win.


Season 50 Golden Anniversary Bonus

MOUNT RUSHMORE 

OF EACH FRANCHISE

FOURTH IN A SERIES...BASED ON NUMBER OF AWARDS GARNERED BY A PLAYER WHILE PLAYING FOR THIS TEAM.



LOS ANGELES BIG ONE

(previously the Houston Iguanas)

LINK LENNEX, Hall of Fame forward

DR. MARCUS BRODY, guard

BART PITBULL, Hall of Fame center

VIC HITLER, forward

                                                                                         


2nd Golden Bonus: 👎

The 10 Lowest-ranked players in MBA History

No. 7
Although his bloodlines can be traced all the way back to the Revolutionary War, where his ancestry is maybe, kinda, sorta traced to the guy with the wooden teeth, none of those genes translated to anything approaching basketball athleticism for Washington Hudson. We are talking some serious white man's disease here, folks. At his rookie combine in Season 29, Hudson's jumping ability was listed as the worst ever for a forward and had to be measured with a micrometer. He could pass and dribble okay and had a decent shot, but the 6-6 forward was abused by opponents with his flat-footed attempts to score down low. Thus, Hudson was sent across the river to the cut pile, where he lay dormant for eight seasons, earning the back-of-the-card distinction "Entire Career In The Cut Pile."







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Monday, March 7, 2022

Season 50 Featured Game No. 3...San Jose at Charleston...with Golden Bonus Extras

Charleston 69, San Jose 53

Charleston stops Amigos cold


CHARLESTON -- The Charleston Mountaineers applied their defensive vice in the person of rookie guard Splash Gordon, who squeezed the offensive life out of reigning MVP Jesse Shershot on the way to a 69-53 cross-over victory over the defending champion San Jose Fighting Amigos (the third in a row for the East).

The teams came into the contest as the top two scoring teams, but defense ruled the day, especially for Charleston (now 2-1), which held San Jose (now2-1) to the lowest point total of any team this season.

It didn't help that San Jose losts star forward Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer to injury just before the half, as he was leading all players in GVP at that point.

POINTS PREVENTED
San Jose.....10
Charleston 21

TOP PLAYERS POINTS PREVENTED
1. Splash Gordon, Charleston 12
2. Papa "Pupa" Popcorn, Charleston 5
3. Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer, San Jose 4

TURNOVERS CAUSED
San Jose 4
Charleston 1

TOP PLAYERS IN TURNOVERS CAUSED
1. Lupalin Greenbeard, San Jose 2

PLAYER OF THE GAME 
The guy who Charleston was missing to injury in last season's playoffs, PAPA 'PUPA' POPCORN, dominated Twinkles Spatula of San Jose and led the charge on the backboards for his team with a game-high 9. (Charleston held a 35-23 advantage on the glass). The biggest man in basketball, the 7-2 Mountaineer scored 15 points and blocked a game-high 2 shots while finishing second in the game on points prevented with 5. He added 1 assist. He was 7 for 12 from the floor and 1 for 2 from the foul line. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers (none from San Jose)
-- Getting the nod to start for the first time this season, Charleston point guard Don Barzini rewarded coach Bill Rustler's decision with a game-high 19-point outing that included 5 rebounds. He was head and shoulders better than Cremeofsum Yunguy.

-- Fresh off his POG performance, Charleston's veteran forward Frog Morton rippled the cords for 16 points while snagging 5 rebounds. He added 1 blocked shot. 



MBA Standings … Season 50

EAST DIVISION

MILWAUKEE……. 2-0

PHILADELPHIA…..2-0

CHARLESTON…… 2-1

DALLAS……………1-1

OKLAHOMA CITY 0-2

 

WEST DIVISION

SAN JOSE………....2-1

LOS ANGELES…..1-1

GILLETTE…………..1-1

SEATTLE……………0-2

SACRAMENTO….0-2

 

Next Game: Somebody comes out of this game a winner and gets back in the West hunt, as Sacramento (0-2) travels up the coast to Seattle (0-2). 


Season 50 Golden Anniversary Bonus

MOUNT RUSHMORE 

OF EACH FRANCHISE

THIRD IN A SERIES...BASED ON NUMBER OF AWARDS GARNERED BY A PLAYER WHILE PLAYING FOR THIS TEAM.


Charleston Mountaineers

J.J. GARGANTUAN, Hall of Fame center

JONNY COCKAROO, Hall of Fame center

BEEZOW BOP-BOP, Hall of Fame guard

BENNY GUMM, Hall of Fame guard

                                                                                                                                              

2nd Golden Bonus: 👎

The 10 Lowest-ranked players in MBA History

No. 8

As a youngster, Kent Powers was All-State in basketball-mad Indiana, where he was captain of the state championship team from Crowbar High. The success continued in college, where he starred at Austin Peay. More accolades were predicted at the MBA level, but alas, drugs became a problem, then an obsession. From Season 11 through 18 he waited, curled up near the bottom in the skid-row of MBA envelopes. There were rumors that an MBA franchise actually reached out to him at one point, but that Powers was unwilling to leave his heroin contacts in the cut pile.  Ah, what might have been for the once BMOC. 




 

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Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Season 50 Featured Game No. 2...Los Angeles at San Jose...plus Golden Bonus extras

 

San Jose 88, Los Angeles 81

DEFENDING CHAMPS HOLD OFF BIG ONE

SAN JOSE -- The reigning MBA title holders from San Jose used 11 3-point baskets to hold off the charging visitors from Los Angeles 88-81 in a spirited back-and-forth contest.

The win makes the Fighting Amigos 2-0, while Los Angeles is now 1-1.

L.A. led by two points, 68-66, going into the fourth quarter, but the defending champs from San Jose delighted the first home team crowd of the new season by methodically pulling away by 10 points halfway through the final stanza.

The Big One trailed by 9 at halftime, but put together a 30-point third-quarter, spurred by center Quick Tink and the passing of its guard tandem, Great Gruncle Terry and rookie Flufferton Springs, who set up one L.A. score after another. 

Tink's offensive assault was, however, turned back three times in the fourth quarter by San Jose pivot Twinkles Spatula, who stopped three buckets with big defensive plays.

And with Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer and San Jose controlling the boards (28-17), the Amigos choked off any semblance of a Los Angeles comeback down the stretch.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

I guess second-year forward CRENTIS "THE" DENTIST didn't mind being moved from power to small forward. Playing his first game at that position, the 6-6 Dentist wento off for a game-high 29 points on 13 of 16 shooting (including 1 for 3 from deep and 2 for 2 from the foul line). Showing off his newly-discovered quickness, Dentist stole a game-high 3 and pulled down a team-high 7 rebounds in the losing effort. He got off to a remarkable start, scoring the first 10 points of the game for L.A., accumulating 18 points by halftime. He pretty much smoked Lupalin Greenwood both offensively and defensively.


Other 20-plus GVP performers
-- Despite being hounded by L.A. defensive stalwart Great Gruncle Terry, San Jose point guard Cremeofsum Yunguy managed to score 13 points and ripple the cords for 4 3-pointers. The oldest rostered player in the MBA (14th season) also led his team in assists with 3, pulled down 3 rebounds and swiped 1 pass.

-- Reigning league MVP and scoring champ Jesse Shershot of San Jose lit up rookie guard Flufferton Springs for a team-high 28 points, knocking down 6 3-pointers. The three-time All-MBA guard had 18 points by halftime. He added 1 rebound and 1 assist.

-- Sixth-year San Jose power forward Eddie "the Milkman" Creamer was the overlord of the backboards in this game, squelching many an offensive thrust by Los Angeles with a game-high 12 rebounds. The 6-9 Creamer also used his inside power to put in 11 points (3 slams) while adding 2 assists and 1 steal.

-- Fifth-year center Quick Tink of Los Angeles played outstanding ball in the third quarter to get his team into position for a win. Tink scored 19 in the game, grabbed 3 boards and added 1 block, 1 steal and 1 assist to his totals. 

MBA Standings … Season 50

EAST DIVISION

MILWAUKEE……. 2-0

PHILADELPHIA…..1-0

DALLAS…………...1-1

CHARLESTON…… 1-1

OKLAHOMA CITY 0-2

 

WEST DIVISION

SAN JOSE………….2-0

LOS ANGELES…....1-1

SEATTLE…………..0-1

GILLETTE………....0-1

SACRAMENTO…...0-1

 

Next Game: Sacramento (0-1) visits Gillette (0-1 ) in the kind of early-season game that neither wants to lose. The victor will be tied with Los Angeles for second place in the West.


Season 50 Golden Anniversary Bonus

MOUNT RUSHMORE 

OF EACH FRANCHISE

SECOND IN A SERIES...BASED ON NUMBER OF AWARDS GARNERED BY A PLAYER WHILE PLAYING FOR THIS TEAM.


San Jose Fighting Amigos

SAGITTAL OCCLUSAL, Hall of Fame forward

JESSE SHERSHOT, guard

PIPPI PIPPISTRELLI, center

JOHNNY FARTPANTS, forward

                                                                                         


2nd Golden Bonus: 👎

The 10 Lowest-ranked players in MBA History

No. 9


I'm quite sure there will be some MBA pundits who will voice the opinion that early MBA center David Skywalker was not as bad as "all that." But let's face it, the 6-9 Skywalker, who came into the still-fledgling league in Season 4, never got a serious look from any of the MBA franchises, despite the fact that he was a good leaper, was fast and could ball-handle. At least that's what friends kept telling him...so he hung around in the cut pile, waiting for his chance for 8 seasons without ever getting the call. He finally sought refuge in the retired players envelope, where he rests to this day. This was a young Tyler Masterson name, meant to honor his buddy Dave Payne. Despite the repellent "career" by Skywalker, Tyler and Dave are still friends.




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