EAST DIVISION
Last Season: First place, 10-0 (5-0 in playoffs) repeat Champions...first team to ever run the table
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Season 43
Last Title: Last season
Biggest Additions: Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan as free agent
Biggest Losses: Starting guard Louie Subgum (to free agency) and starting forward Tiger Masterson to retirement. Subgum tied for most assists on team and led team in steals with 9. T. Masterson scored 13.2 ppg.
Summary: Two-time MBA defending champion has league's oldest roster and starting lineup, but still has enough firepower to be a major contender for third straight title. The addition of Gargantuan sends the gigantic Gotoo Grot to the bench and gives Demons the only two active Hall of Famers. Paired with 5-time regular-season MVP and fellow Hall of Famer Chip Battoe, Dallas will be nigh impossible to score on down low. The big question is how much drop-off they will have with loss of Subgum and Jolly Mon Singh, who has never started in five seasons, taking his spot at the point. 16-game win streak entering season.
1st-- OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS (picked 1st by DM, 2nd by TM)
Last Season: Last place, 2-8
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Last season
Last Title: Season 41
Biggest Additions: Rookie point guard sensation Handsy Joe Potatoe and shooting guard Hurricane Furrwizard (who returns to the team after one season with Charleston)
Biggest Losses: Starting point guard and top assist man Red Reparee to retirement
Summary: After spending entire existence in the West Division, Lariats switch to East where, thanks to a superb draft, they become instant contenders. Despite trading half their draft picks, Oklahoma City was deemed by Tyler to have the best draft of any club. With their two remaining picks, they snagged the prize of the draft, Handsy Joe Potatoe with the first prime pick on their first roll, then got his running mate at guard, Hurricane Furrwizard, with the second-to-last selection on a random pick. Adding these two to an already-solid front line makes Lariats dangerous.
3rd-- MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS (picked 2nd by TM, 3rd by DM)
Last Season: Second place, 5-5 (0-2 in playoffs)
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Season 46
Last Title: Season 18
Biggest Additions: Rookie back-up guards Luca Brasi and P.D. Jazz
Biggest Losses: Nothing of consequence
Summary: Milwaukee, coming off its first playoff appearance in six seasons, will be the only team in the league to go into battle with the same starting lineup as the previous campaign. Sixth-ranked offensively and fifth-ranked defensively with this crew last season was good enough to sneak into the post-season, but adding a contending Oklahoma City team while subtracting a win-less Kansas City to the division will make things rougher. Big lineup was second in MBA in rebounds.
Last-- CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS (picked 4th by DM, last by TM)
Last Season: Third place, 5-5
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Last season
Last Title: Season 42
Biggest Additions: Center Quick Tink, guard Cha-Cha Bamba, both free agents, rookie forward Muscle Shoals.
Biggest Losses: Ten-season starter and Hall of Fame bullwark at center J.J. Gargantuan and starting guard and top assist man Hurrican Furrwizard to free agency. Starting forward, pure shooter Faku Sosume.
Summary: After collapsing in the second half and missing the playoffs last season, Mountaineers lost three starters and appear to be on the verge of their first losing season in 13 campaigns. The Gargantuan Era is over.
Last-- PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA (picked 4th by TM, last by DM)
Last Season: Fourth place, 4-6
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Last season
Last Title: Season 43
Biggest Additions: Solid journeyman forward Bougainvillea Hedge
Biggest Losses: Lost three starters, biggest being center Chutcher Mouthchair, as well as guard Brownie McShytles and forward Santo Thomas...all to retirement.
Summary: Hard to imagine perennial champions even competing for a playoff spot in a division which just got tougher. Holdovers Wawa Wewa and Little Dickie Papers will be hard-pressed to keep team out of the cellar.
WEST DIVISION (ALL PICKS ARE UNANIOUS)
Last Season: Third place, 4-6
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Last season
Last Title: Season 25
Biggest Additions: Targeted free-agent forward Vito Andolini and highly-touted rookie center Lothario Fartlek
Biggest Losses: Back-up guard Freddy Chepuzzo lost to free agency
Summary: Before being de-railed by a season-long injury to star center Hunk R. Down, the Fighting Amigos were firing up points at a tremendous rate. Led by Rookie of the Year and All-MBA point guard Jesse Shershot, San Jose was a viable contender early. This season they went out and got one of the two excellent rookie centers, Lothario Fartlek, who will back up Down, who has gone down to injury two straight campaigns. Plus, they now have what they consider to be a true small forward in second-year prime pick Vito Andolini, moving Lupalin Greenbeard to capable backup. Lotta talent here and lotta depth.
Last Season: First place, 9-1 (2-3 in playoffs)
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Season 45
Last Title: Season 44
Biggest Additions: Guard Freddy Chepuzzo
Biggest Losses: Glue guy power forward Pap Smearz to retirement
Summary: The title-opportunity window is closing for the perennial contenders who finally lost a piece of their starting lineup that they have held intact for four consecutive seasons. The R-Dogs have been in the finals three of the past four seasons, with one title, have finished i first in the West three times in that span and are coming off back-to-back 9-1 seasons. They should still make the playoffs with longtime backup James "Cherry Challenge" Payne replacing Smearz, but they are not as strong as they once were.
3rd-- Seattle Stampede
Last Season: Fourth place, 3-7
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Last season
Last Title: Season 37
Biggest Additions: 6-10 power forward Charles Broccoli
Biggest Losses: Team's top rebounder and shot blocker last season Stu Gatz
Summary: Good defensive team got better with addition of top rookie forward Broccoli. They will be hard to score on again, but, like last season when they finished last i scoring, will struggle to put points on the board. Broccoli will fit right in defensively and on the boards, but he's not expected to be a big-time scorer. A solid third ahead of L.A. and Gillette.
Last Season: Secod place, 8-2 (0-2 in playoffs)
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Season 46
Last Title: Season 45
Biggest Additions: Rookie guard Oblio Assbag, rookie center Juji Mufu
Biggest Losses: Defensive guard stalwart Norma Conquest to retirement and starters forward Tomm Foolerie and center Jonk Vanderdonk to free agency.
Summary: Decimated by retirement and injury, the Big One returns two starters to last season's playoff squad, albeit a great one in All-MBA guard Dr. Marcus Brody who led the league in scoring. Rookie guard Oblio Assbag joins rebounding fiend Sheetrock Hudson in a lineup that could surprise.
Last Season: Last place 0-10 (as Kansas City)
Last Time Missed Playoffs : Last season
Last Title: Never
Biggest Additions: Rookie center Swordfish Willie Shingles, veteran 7-foot forward Tomm Foolerie, backup center General Horseplay, rookie forward Spiritu Sanctus
Biggest Losses: Team MVP and top scorer Bouganvillea Hedge to free agency
Summary: New city, new name, new division, but expect the same results. Lost top player two consecutive seasons. This guy Shingles might be someone to build on. But it's 13 straight losses and counting.
Predictions note:
Last season, Tyler and Dave both picked 3 of the 4 playoff teams, both missing on Los Angeles.
Last season both Tyler and Dave picked 3 of 5 All-MBA players...both were wrong on Lannigan Lord Hobo at guard (it was Dr. Marcus Brody), Dave was wrong at center, picking Tree Fiddy of Sacramento and Tyler was wrong on forward, picking Sheetrock Hudson of L.A. (it was Doo-rag Dripp)
MBA Veterans (10 or more seasons)
15th—Shag Bark, Dallas (oldest rostered player)
15th—Buzz Kill (cut pile)
13th—Louie Subgum (cut pile)
12th—Cremeofsum Younguy, San Jose
11th—J.J. Gargantuan, Dallas (Hall of Famer) (oldest starter)
11th—Baskets Weaver, Philadelphia
11th -- Peter Pizza, Sacramento
10th -- Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee
10th -- Tree Fiddy, Sacramento
10th -- Indo Kazak (cut pile)
ACTIVE HALL OF FAME PLAYERS
Chip Battoe, Dallas (20 awards)
J.J. Gargantuan, Dallas (12 awards)
HALL OF FAME WATCH (5 or more awards)
9 awards—Tree Fiddy, Sacramento
8 awards -- Dr. Marcus Brody, Los Angeles
6 awards -- GoToo Grot, Dallas
6 awards -- Doo-rag Dripp, Sacramento
5 awards—Lannigan Lord Hobo, Milwaukee
5 awards—Potus Obama, Sacramento
LONGEST CONSECUTIVE GAME STREAKS
100 games—J.J. Gargantuan, Dallas (record is 120 by Raisin Sport)
70 games—Wawa Wewa, Philadelphia
60 games—Potus Obama, Sacramento
60 games—Doo-rag Dripp, Sacramento
NEXT UP, Season 48 kicks off:
Los Angeles at Seattle...first of back-to-backs of similarly talented teams
Gillette plays first game under new name at Sacramento...then they play them again...rough schedule
Milwaukee at San Jose in meaningful cross-over with pair of playoff-expectant teams
Charleston at Philadelphia
Featured Game: Oklahoma City and its rookie guard Handsy Joe Potato looks to end two-time defending champion Dallas' record 16-game winning streak.
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