Philadelphia 70, Milwaukee 66 (Colquitt Croix Day)
PHOBIA WINS; MOB PUMMELS REFS
PHILADELPHIA -- Fans in the City of Brotherly Love, known for booing the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus at their respective parades, rioted early in the fourth quarter, nearly dismembering the three-man referee team when they disqualified Philadelphia's Hall of Fame guard Colquitt Croix on fouls early in the fourth quarter of his last game...ON HIS DAY.
Bottles were thrown onto the court beginning in the second half, when the beloved Croix, who barely played at all in his final MBA appearance due to fouls, picked up foul number four early. Then, the dark, orgiastic Philly fan fraternity rushed the court, 7 time units into the fourth quarter, when Croix was whistled for his fifth foul on a drive by Milwaukee's Lannigan Lord Hobo.
The three zebra-clad officials did not hesitate, immediately sprinting for the exits, but all were caught and suffered some degree of bodily harm before the drunken and tumultuous mob could be quelled by outside police forces called to the scene, billy clubs beating down on the rioters and blood spewing everywhere.
Three new refs were recruited from the city's high school ranks, the game continued, and Philadelphia won 70-66.
It was, however, an ugly chapter in MBA history. Maybe the ugliest.
Philadelphia and Milwaukee both ended their seasons with 5-5 records for the second season in a row. This time, however, Philadelphia got the third spot in the standings and Milwaukee the fourth, the opposite of last season.
PLAYER OF THE GAME
Second-year 7-2 Milwaukee center PAPA "PUPA" POPCORN finished his sophomore campaign with a bang, tying for team-high in scoring with 16 points, pulling down a game-high 7 rebounds, blocking a game-high 3 shots and distributing 2 assists for his first POG this season. Except for a 2-game injury, it's been a good season for Popcorn, who made his first All Star Game. The first pick in the Season 45 draft (and the first prime pick) was 8 for 12 from the floor in his battle with Chutcher Mouthchair of Philadelphia.
Other 20-plus GVP performers
-- Sixth-season Philly forward Santo Thomas dominated Ape Con Myth of Milwaukee, scoring 14 points, grabbing 4 boards, dishing a team-high 3 assists, swiping 1 steal and blocking 1 shot.
-- Philadelphia's other sixth-season forward, the intrepid Wawa Wewa, evidently loves to play Milwaukee. In his first meeting he scored 18, and in this one he rang up a game-high 17 points. The defensive stopper also had 1 rebound 1 steal, 1 blocked shot and 1 assist.
-- Third-year Milwaukee guard Lannigan Lord Hobo sewed up his second consecutive All-MBA foil star with a 16-point performance that tied for team high. Moved to the point guard position where he was pitted directly against the other All-MBA guard Colquitt Croix, Hobo proceeded to overpower the Hall of Famer with continuous drives to the basket. The 6-6 Hobo also pulled down 6 rebounds and tied for game-high in assists with 4. He finished the season second in scoring behind Croix with an average of 18.6 ppg to Croix's 19.6. He finished second last season as well with an 18.5 per game mark.
-- Moved to the two guard position for this game, Milwaukee's Fatty McButterpants responded with a 13-point performance that included 3 rebounds and a tie for game-high in assists with 4.
COLQUITT CROIX HONORED
Hall of Fame Philadelphia guard Colquitt Croix, the latest in a long line of spectacular back court magicians for the most successful franchise in MBA history, was honored at halftime in this, his final game before the Philly faithful. In his seven campaigns, all with the Phobia, the former Rookie of the Year was All-MBA (including this season) four times, MVP of the Playoffs once, a 7-time All Star Game participant and was a major player in bringing home the Season 43 championship. After finishing second in the league scoring five times, he finally captured his first scoring title this season. He also led his team in assists three times, led the league in steals once and free-throwing twice. A multi-skilled talent offensively, he also excelled on defense. He will be missed by the entire MBA.
His three spins on the Random Prize wheel netted the following:
1. A SMARTPHONE HOLDER...because the beloved guard has been known to swerve off the road while attempting to converse while driving. (Only his fame in Philly has allowed him to escape multiple tickets.)
2. A ZIPPO LIGHTER...engraved with the names of all of the members of the Season 43 championship team. Croix promised that he would take up cigarette smoking to honor that bunch.
3. A MUG. Engraved with his favorite saying. "Don't half-ass anything. Always use your full ass."
BONUS: Answer to quiz no one guessed on:
The All-MBA team containing all Hall of Fame players that has the most total awards is:
Season 27
Guard Mamadou Zongo of Chicago (18 awards)
Guard Ching-Chong Chung of Milwaukee (11 awards)
Center Max Payne of Dallas (22 awards)
Forward Boone Doggle of Charleston (18 awards)
Forward Sagittal Occlusal of San Jose (19 awards)
NEXT UP : Los Angeles (3-6) at Sacramento (8-1). This game is important for Sacramento, which must win by 17 or more points in order to claim home court advantage throughout the playoffs. A win by less than 17 means Dallas will win home court advantage throughtout the playoffs. The last time L.A. and Sacramento played the R-Dogs won 70-53. Coincidentally, that was a 17-point win.
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