Semifinals Game 2...Sacramento at Charleston

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTERS

Sacramento...5...5...2...2   Total=14

Charleston....4...6...6...4    Total=20

TOP PLAYERS IN POINTS PREVENTED

1. J. J. Gargantuan, Charleston 8

1. Great Gruncle Terry, Sacramento 8

3. Cat Timol, Charleston 6

CHARLESTON 60, SACRAMENTO 57

MOUNTAINEERS AIN'T DEAD YET

CHARLESTON -- The Charleston Mountaineers used a stifling defense that included 20 points prevented and 12 blocked shots to win 60-57  before a roaring throng at home and send this entertaining Semifinal series to a conclusive Game 3. 

The two top defensive teams in the MBA were on display here again in Game 2, with Charleston showing a little more teeth and warding off elimination by holding the West Division champs to just 41 percent shooting. 

Charleston, which shared the league leadership in blocked shots with Dallas, came within 2 of the playoff record for one game. 5-10 Cat Timol blocked 6 shots for the victors.

PLAYER OF GAME

Retiring long-range sharpshooter LAPIZ LAPIZ BOLIGRAFO of Charleston overcame the defensive excellence of his point-guard opponent Great Gruncle Terry to lead all scorers with 20 points in this gigantic Mountaineers win. The 10-year veteran was 8 for 13 from the floor, bombing away at a 4 for 7 clip from 3-point range, grabbing 2 rebounds and leading everyone with 3 assists. His back-to-back treys to start the fourth quarter were daggers in the heart of the River Dogs and gave the home team the cushion it needed to secure victory.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- All-MBA forward Flip Testerton,  the other retiring starter on this Charleston club, also played like someone who did not want to see his career end just yet. The 6-5 jumping jack pulled down a game-high 8 rebounds while scoring 10 points, getting 2 assists and 1 blocked shot. 

-- Sacramento point guard Great Gruncle Terry,  the POG of Game 1, nearly repeated that status in this loss. In addition to tying for most points prevented in the game (including two would-be 3s by Boligrafo), Terry led his team in scoring with 15 points, pulled down 6 rebounds, had 1 assist, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot.

-- After getting shut out in Game 1 by the defensive genius of J.J. Gargantuan, Sacramento center Tree Fiddy came back to post an 11-point game, despite the ongoing resistance by his opponent, who tied for most points prevented in the contest. Fiddy also pulled down 6 rebounds, dished out a team-high 2 assists and blocked a team-high 2 shots.

-- 10-year veteran R-Dogs forward Pap Smearz led his team in rebounds with 7, scored 13 points and had 1 assist in the losing effort. 

NEXT UP: Expect points to be at a premium again as the two Semifinalists return to Sacramento for the third and deciding game to see who meets Dallas in the Finals. 

 

Semifinals Game 2...Dallas at Charleston

DALLAS 79, OKLAHOMA CITY 65

DEMONS SWEEP THEIR WAY INTO FINALS

OKLAHOMA CITY -- As expected, the Dallas Demons advanced without a playoff blemish to the Season 46 Finals, the first for the franchise since Season 42 and the first since Hall of Famer Chip Battoe joined the team four seasons ago.

They did so with a 2-0 sweep of Oklahoma City, who they beat fairly handily in Game 2 on the loser's home court, 79-65. 

Having upheld their end of the confrontational bargain, Dallas now awaits the winner of the Sacramento vs. Charleston series, which everyone expects to be the River Dogs, for a Finals Series that has been brewing since Day 1. 

The last time Dallas won the championship (they've won three) was in Season 28. This will be their eigth Finals appearance. This is their third straight playoff appearance, breaking through to the Finals after two tough losses in the Semis in a row. 

Using a revamped stating lineup, the Oklahoma City Lariats put up a bit of a battle in Game 2, thrilling hometown fans with an early lead, then slowly succumbing to the might of the Demons. 

The game took its worst turn for the home team when its MVP of the past two seasons, forward Anurag Dickshit, went down with an early second quarter injury that took him out of the action for the rest of the game.

It was also in that second quarter when Meat Pants Masterson came off the Dallas bench to score a majority of his 16 points, a contribution that should not go unnoticed.

Since winning it all in consecutive seasons in Seasons 41 and 42, the Lariats have been in the playoffs four of the past five seasons but have been unable to get over the first-round hump to return to the Finals.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

The behemoth 7-2 Dallas center GOTOO GROT again captured POG honors for the second straight time, dominating play against the twin 7-foot tandem centers of Oklahoma City. As he did in Game 1, Grot led everyone in scoring with the same total of 19 points, going 8 for 10 from the floor and 3 for 3 from the foul line. The fourth-year giant also matched his Game 1 rebounding total with a game-high (tied)  7, distributed a pair of assists, registered 1 steal and blocked 1 shot. 

Other 20-Plus GVP performers

-- Other than Grot, the only other player in the game to accumulate 20 GVP was last-second Oklahoma City starter Goodbar "Muddy" Masterson, who tied Grot for rebounding honors with 7 while scoring 10 points, dishing 2 assists and getting 1 steal. 

NEXT UP: Sacramento looks to complete its Semifinals sweep of the Charleston Mountaineers in Charleston. The home team is hoping to get at least one more victory with this bunch before its fans with two starters bowing out after this season.

 

Semifinals Game 1...Charleston at Sacramento

SACRAMENTO 66, CHARLESTON 58

R-DOGS 'D' CHEWS UP CHARLESTON 

SACRAMENTO -- The MBA's top two defensive teams grappled and grinded for four quarters tonight, with the Sacramento River Dogs and its 'No. 1 stopper' badge of honor emerging victorious, 66-58 in the first game of this semifinals match-up.

The home team River Dogs harrassed the hell out of Charleston, limiting them to just 42.6 percent shooting. Charleston was almost as audacious defensively, holding Sacramento to 15 points under their season scoring average.

Charleston was very much in the contest right to the end, trailing by just 3 points with 6 time units remaining and needing a stop. Sacramento snuffed the Mountaineers' hopes with a quick bucket on a pass from Great Gruncle Terry to Doo-rag Dripp down low that sealed the deal.

The winners got a good game off the bench from Cremeofsum Yunguy, who contributed 12 points.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Sacramento's stalwart point guard GREAT GRUNCLE TERRY was his reliable self in this playoff opener and the key to the win. The third-year leader directed the attack with a game-high 7 assists while playing excellent defense. The 6-5 Terry scored 13 points, grabbed 4 rebounds and blocked 1 shot. He was 5 for 13 from the floor (2 for 6 from deep, including 1 dunk) and 1 for 2 from the foul line. He's the alpha in this pack.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMANCES

-- The top scorer on Sacramento all season long was the high-point man for both teams in this game. Doo-rag Dripp piled up 18 points for the victors, also leading both teams in blocked shots with 2 while pulling down 3 rebounds and swiping 1 steal.

-- Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan of Charleston was a defensive madman all game long, shutting out Sacramento's fine center Tree Fiddy and lending a hand on numerous other occasions to thwart other River Dogs would-be scorers. The 9-year pivot also led everyone in rebounds with 9 while scoring the most points (13) for the losing team.

NEXT UP: Oklahoma City returns home to try and fend off elimination against highly favored Dallas after getting smoked in Game 1. After failing to advance beyond the semis the last two seasons, the Demons have their eyes on their first Finals in the four-season Chip Battoe era.

Semifinals Game 1...Oklahoma City at Dallas

DALLAS 102, OKLAHOMA CITY 63

Demons destroy Lariats

DALLAS -- Any thoughts of a possible upset were erased by a Dallas first quarter that put them up by a country mile, 35-17. From then on it was a record-book game, with the home team Demons being urged on by fans hoping to see their team enter either the playoff annals for points scored (110) or the all-time scoring mark of 118.

   Despite a relentless attack that had the visitors reeling, Dallas fell short of both targets; and a further check of the records showed that they came closest (missing by two points) to establishing a new playoff record for biggest massacre (40 points) set by Charleston way way way back in Season 8 over Houston.

   But the MBA's highest scoring squad was still awesome in its efficiency and balance, with 6 players scoring between 15 and 19 points on 68.9 percent shooting as they romped to a convincing Game 1 playoff victory.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Fourth-year Dallas center GOTOO GROT used his overwhelming 7-2 size and jumping ability to post game-highs in both points (19) and rebounds (7) while tying for game-high in assists with 3. The big man was 8 for 11 from the floor, including a slam and a tip try over the diminutive 5-11 Hurricane Furrwizard of Oklahoma City that threatened to take the little guy's head clean off. 

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Before fouling out, 11-season Dallas point guard Louie Subgum dominated his man Flip Phelps with a 15-point game that included 2 blocked shots, a steal, 2 rebounds and 2 assists.

-- Dallas shooting guard Bingo Bango scored 16 points, pulled down 3 boards, tied for game-high with 3 assists and had 1 steal.

-- Demons' power forward Tiger Masterson, who has been playing dead for the first seven seasons of his career, continues to make his eighth season an unexpected coming out party. He killed Peter Pizza of Oklahoma City, checking off every statistical column with 17 points, pulling down 3 boards getting 1 assist, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot.

-- Hall of Fame power forward (and MVP for the fourth time this season) Chip Battoe of Dallas had one of his lesser great games, scoring 16 points, handing out 1 assist, getting 1 steal and leading everyone with 4 blocked shots. 

-- Forward or backward, however you say his first name, Dallas substitute guard Otto Palindrome played brilliantly off the bench for the victors, scoring 15 points and adding 3 rebounds, tying for game-high with 3 assists and getting 1 steal. 

-- Oklahoma City's rookie center Chochky Galumpkus was the sole bright spot among starters in this annihilation. The 7-1 pivot was a perfect 7 for 7 from the field on the way to a team-high 14 points while also leading him team in rebounds with 5. He added 1 assist.

NEXT UP: Charleston(6-4) looks to steal Game 1 against Semifinal favorite Sacramento (9-1) at the Dog Pound. The teams had a playoff preview cross-over contest late in the regular season, where the River Dogs emerged with a 81-70 win; Potus Obama the Player of the Game for the victors.

Featured Game No. 10...Milwaukee at Philadelphia ... plus bonus

Philadelphia 70, Milwaukee 66 (Colquitt Croix Day)

PHOBIA WINS; MOB PUMMELS REFS

PHILADELPHIA -- Fans in the City of Brotherly Love, known for booing the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus at their respective parades, rioted early in the fourth quarter, nearly dismembering the three-man referee team when they disqualified Philadelphia's Hall of Fame guard Colquitt Croix on fouls early in the fourth quarter of his last game...ON HIS DAY. 

Bottles were thrown onto the court beginning in the second half, when the beloved Croix, who barely played at all in his final MBA appearance due to fouls, picked up foul number four early. Then, the dark, orgiastic Philly fan fraternity rushed the court, 7 time units into the fourth quarter, when Croix was whistled for his fifth foul on a drive by Milwaukee's Lannigan Lord Hobo.

The three zebra-clad officials did not hesitate, immediately sprinting for the exits, but all were caught and suffered some degree of bodily harm before the drunken and tumultuous mob could be quelled by outside police forces called to the scene, billy clubs beating down on the rioters and blood spewing everywhere. 

Three new refs were recruited from the city's high school ranks, the game continued, and Philadelphia won 70-66. 

It was, however, an ugly chapter in MBA history. Maybe the ugliest.

Philadelphia and Milwaukee both ended their seasons with 5-5 records for the second season in a row. This time, however, Philadelphia got the third spot in the standings and Milwaukee the fourth, the opposite of last season.

PLAYER OF THE GAME 

Second-year 7-2 Milwaukee center PAPA "PUPA" POPCORN finished his sophomore campaign with a bang, tying for team-high in scoring with 16 points, pulling down a game-high 7 rebounds, blocking a game-high 3 shots and distributing 2 assists for his first POG this season. Except for a 2-game injury, it's been a good season for Popcorn, who made his first All Star Game. The first pick in the Season 45 draft (and the first prime pick) was 8 for 12 from the floor in his battle with Chutcher Mouthchair of Philadelphia.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Sixth-season Philly forward Santo Thomas dominated Ape Con Myth of Milwaukee, scoring 14 points, grabbing 4 boards, dishing a team-high 3 assists, swiping 1 steal and blocking 1 shot. 

-- Philadelphia's other sixth-season forward, the intrepid Wawa Wewa, evidently loves to play Milwaukee. In his first meeting he scored 18, and in this one he rang up a game-high 17 points. The defensive stopper also had 1 rebound 1 steal, 1 blocked shot and 1 assist.

-- Third-year Milwaukee guard Lannigan Lord Hobo sewed up his second consecutive All-MBA foil star with a 16-point performance that tied for team high. Moved to the point guard position where he was pitted directly against the other All-MBA guard Colquitt Croix, Hobo proceeded to overpower the Hall of Famer with continuous drives to the basket. The 6-6 Hobo also pulled down 6 rebounds and tied for game-high in assists with 4.  He finished the season second in scoring behind Croix with an average of 18.6 ppg to Croix's 19.6. He finished second last season as well with an 18.5 per game mark.

-- Moved to the two guard position for this game, Milwaukee's Fatty McButterpants responded with a 13-point performance that included 3 rebounds and a tie for game-high in assists with 4. 

COLQUITT CROIX HONORED

Hall of Fame Philadelphia guard Colquitt Croix, the latest in a long line of spectacular back court magicians for the most successful franchise in MBA history, was honored at halftime in this, his final game before the Philly faithful. In his seven campaigns, all with the Phobia, the former Rookie of the Year was All-MBA (including this season) four times, MVP of the Playoffs once, a 7-time All Star Game participant and was a major player in bringing home the Season 43 championship. After finishing second in the league scoring five times, he finally captured his first scoring title this season. He also led his team in assists three times, led the league in steals once and free-throwing twice. A multi-skilled talent offensively, he also excelled on defense. He will be missed by the entire MBA.

His three spins on the Random Prize wheel netted the following:

1. A SMARTPHONE HOLDER...because the beloved guard has been known to swerve off the road while attempting to converse while driving. (Only his fame in Philly has allowed him to escape multiple tickets.)

2. A ZIPPO LIGHTER...engraved with the names of all of the members of the Season 43 championship team. Croix promised that he would take up cigarette smoking to honor that bunch.

3. A MUG. Engraved with his favorite saying. "Don't half-ass anything. Always use your full ass."

BONUS: Answer to quiz no one guessed on:

The All-MBA team containing all Hall of Fame players that has the most total awards is:

Season 27 

Guard Mamadou Zongo of Chicago (18 awards)

Guard Ching-Chong Chung of Milwaukee (11 awards)

Center Max Payne of Dallas (22 awards)

Forward Boone Doggle of Charleston (18 awards)

Forward Sagittal Occlusal of San Jose (19 awards)

NEXT UP : Los Angeles (3-6) at Sacramento (8-1). This game is important for Sacramento, which must win by 17 or more points in order to claim home court advantage throughout the playoffs. A win by less than 17 means Dallas will win home court advantage throughtout the playoffs. The last time L.A. and Sacramento played the R-Dogs won 70-53. Coincidentally, that was a 17-point win.

Featured Game No. 9...Sacramento at Charleston

Sacramento 81, Charleston 70 (FLIP TESTERTON DAY)

R-Dogs efficiently best Mountaineers

CHARLESTON -- The Sacramento River Dogs (now 8-1) dealt the playoff hopefuls from Charleston (now 5-4) an efficient 81-70 loss in this cross-over win, putting a damper on Flip Testerton Day for the home team Mountaineers. It also put an end to Charleston's 3-game winning streak.

The R-Dogs, with its first-string team intact and as fast as ever for the third consecutive season, were never really threatened by the above average  Charleston squad after the first quarter. 

The eight wins already achieved by Sacramento exceed the 7 that the River Dogs had in their Season 44 championship campaign. They have a chance to tie their best mark ever (9-1 in Season 15) with a victory in their final game against Los Angeles.

The win puts the cross-over tally at 5 wins for the East vs. 4 for the West.

Points Prevented by Team

Sacramento...7 (5 of those came in the first quarter)

Charleston....8  (4 of those came in the final quarter)

Points Prevened Leaders

1. Flip Testerton, Charleston, 4

2. Great Gruncle Terry, Sacramento 3

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Sacramento shooting guard POTUS OBAMA did a number on Cat Timol, taking the smaller guard for a game-high (tied) 21 points while holding him to 7 points below his average. The 5th-year veteran was 9 for 15 from the floor, including 1 for 3 from deep, going 2 for 3 from the foul liine. The 6-5 Obama also pulled down 2 rebounds, distributed 4 assists and swiped a game-high 2 steals. He went into the game in a three-way tie for the steals crown which he has captured twice before, including last season. 

When Obama plays like this, the R-Dogs bark their loudest.

Other 20-Plus GVP performers

-- Vying for his second All-MBA center star, the pride of the Sacramento franchise, Tree Fiddy took a big step by putting together a great game against defensive genius J.J. Gargantuan of Charleston. Fiddy, having the best scoring season of his 8-year career, was unbowed in scoring 18 points while pulling down a team-high 6 rebounds. The 6-8 Fiddy added 1 blocked shot and 1 assist.

-- 10-season Sacramento star forward Pap Smearz stepped to the offensive forefront with a 21-point performance that tied for game-high. The 6-8 bedrock  also had 3 rebounds and 1 assist.

-- Charleston's 10-season point guard Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo led his club in scoring, following up his recent 30-point performance with 19 against Sacramento. Boligrafo, who will be retiring after this season, added 2 rebounds and 2 assists.

-- Charleston forward Frog Morton successfully fought the urge to take even one ridiculous 3-point shot, the result being a perfect 7 for 7 shooting night for 14 points. The third-year man excelled on the boards wth a game-high 8, adding 1 blocked shot and 1 assist.

-- Still confounding hoop fans with his amazing leaping ability in this, his final season, 6-5 fan favorite Flip Testerton did not disappoint the home town crowd ON HIS DAY.  Testerton played both ends of the court in his all-out style, leading everyone in points prevented, pulling down 7 rebounds, scoring 14 points and adding 1 assist and 1 blocked shot.

FLIP TESTERTON DAY

Appreciative Charleston fans paid halftime tribute to 7-season veteran Flip Testerton, who will be retiring from the tabletop following this season. A freakishly good rebounder for his size, the 6-5 forward has led three different teams in five different seasons in the rebounding department and is again leading his team this season. Always seemingly in the hunt for a rebound title, Testerton is right there again this season, trying to wind up his career with his first clear boards championship. The two-time All Star Game selection, who captured an All-MBA star with Charleston two seasons ago, is again very much in the picture to get a second in this, his swan song. Not an overly gifted shooter, Testerton led his team in scoring his All-MBA season and is again leading them via sheer force of will this campaign. He's also topped his team in blocked shots and free throw percentage. He started his career with Sacramento, improved nicely for two campaigns in Milwaukee and blossomed into a force in Charleston. Google his name...that's right, his fame is that great.

Three spins on the Gift Generator for Testerton netted:

1. Personalized Socks- Set of 5 Pairs...with the words "Testy is Besty" emblazoned on each sock.

2. Beer Cap States Map of West Virginia (lest he forget)...(this one made him teary-eyed)

3. Ocean Reel Salt and Pepper Mills...to signify what a "grinder" the Flipster was throughout his playing career. 

West Standings

1st -- Sacramento River Dogs 8-1 

2nd -- Oklahoma City Lariats 5-4 

3rd -- Seattle Stampede 4-5

4th -- Los Angeles Big One 3-6 (up from last)

Last -- San Jose Fighting Amigos 2-7 (down from 4th)

NEXT UP: It will be Bingo Bango Day in Dallas as the powerful Demons (7-1) try to snuff the playoff hopes of visiting Philadelphia (4-4).

 

SEASON 46 HOME STRETCH PREVIEW

RANKING THE TOUGHEST ROAD FOR PLAYOFF CONTENDERS

IN THE WEST: Seattle and Oklahoma City (Sacramento has clinched)

--Oklahoma City has the tougher remaining schedule with games against Seattle and powerhouse Dallas in a cross-over. 

--Seattle has Oklahoma City and lowly San Jose. 

The showdown game between Seattle and Oklahoma City right off the bat will probably settle things. Seattle needs to win both of its games because the Lariats have the division wins tie-breaker sewed up with a win against the Stampede.

IN THE EAST: Another three-way race between Philadelphia, Milwaukee and Charleston (Dallas has clinched)

-- Philadelphia, with games against Dallas and Milwaukee, has the toughest road.

-- Charleston has the second-toughest remaining slate against Sacramento and Kansas City, but goes into the stretch with the most wins and most division wins of the trio of contenders.

-- Milwaukee has the easiest schedule with Kansas City and Philadelphia, but even if they match Charleston in wins and division wins, they lose out in head-to-head with the Mountaineers.

THE RACE FOR THE ALL-MBA FOIL STARS (GVP)

Guards

Colquitt Croix, Philadelphia 27.3

Lannigan Lord Hobo, Milwaukee 26.6 (All-MBA last season)

Cat Timol, Charleston 25.8

Forwards

Chip Battoe, Dallas 28.4 (All-MBA last season) (front-runner for fourth MVP)

Flip Testerton, Charleston 25.7

Anurag Dickshit, Oklahoma City 24.7 (All-MBA last season)

Tiger Masterson, Dallas 24.3

Doo-rag Dripp, Sacramento 23.5

Center

Chutcher Mouthchair, Philadelphia 24.3

Tree Fiddy, Sacramento 23.5

Seven Castanza, Seattle 23.0

GoToo Grot, Dallas 22.8 (All-MBA last season)

 

LEADERS NOTES

-- Hall of Fame Philadelphia guard Colquitt Croix is going for his first scoring title in this, his seventh and final season. He has finished second in scoring five times.

-- The Assists Title goes down the home stretch in a 3-way tie with last season's winner Great Gruncle Terry of Sacramento looking to repeat and Philly forward Wawa Wewa, the only forward ever to win the assists race, trying to win again. 

-- Another 3-way tie is featured in the steals department where Potus Obama of Sacramento is looking for his third title in four seasons. 

-- Unless he goes suddenly cold, Colquitt Croix seems to be comfortably ahead to get his first 3-point title. (Remember, he had to contend with Naf Naf for many seasons).

-- Despite missing games to injury, Hall of Fame forward Chip Battoe of Dallas is comfortably ahead to win his fourth consecutive blocked shots title, which would be the most titles in a row in this department. Raisin Sport, Tom Kondla and Jimsy Redfern all had three in a row. Sport holds the record that Battoe will tie (4) for most blocked shots championships.

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR RACE

It's a two-way race with the following pair of rookies.

Guard Freddy Chepuzzo of Kansas City 19.1 GVP who appeared to be a clear winner at one point.

Center Chochky Galumpkus of Oklahoma City 17.3 who has been mounting a late charge.

UPCOMING BRACKET (NO. 9)

-- We start off bracket 9 with a bang...Seattle (4-4) at Oklahoma City (4-4) in a game that will likely determine which of these teams finishes in second and goes to the playoffs. Seattle, behind center Seven Castanza, bested the Lariats 85-77 in the first meeting, but is in the midst of a 3-game losing streak. The Lariats are looking to sneak in to the post-season for the second year in a row.

-- San Jose (2-6) at Los Angeles (2-6)...both teams are getting back their best players...center Hunk R. Down for the Fighting Amigos and guard Dr. Marcus Brody of Los Angeles. This game will probably determine who stays out of the cellar, which is big for San Jose since it would be their second such finish in a row. L.A. won the first meeting 64-59 with Norman Conquest sharing POG with Mister Methane of San Jose.

-- FEATURED GAME: Giant cross-over pits West division champs Sacramento (7-1) against East's current second-place team Charleston (5-3). An upset by the Mountaineers is unlikely, but it would pretty much sew up a playoff spot for them if they can pull it off. It will be Flip Testerton Day in Charleston.

-- Philadelphia (4-4) at Dallas (7-1)...Simply put, Philly has to win to stay in contention. It would be a big upset. Dallas won their previous meeting 84-71 despite a big game by Phobia center Chutcher Mouthchair. It will be Bingo Bango Day in Dallas.

-- Kansas City (1-7) at Milwaukee (4-4)...The Greyhounds need to win out to have a shot at the post-season. They should not take this game lightly. In their last meeting, Milwaukee won by 4, thanks largely to POG Lannigan Lord Hobo.

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