We have no idea how talented the league's rookies will be since they have not yet been created, but here's a really early look at the team rankings based purely on how their rosters now stand, with the draft, improvements and players getting older and worse, yet to come.
1. Charleston Mountaineers (5-5 last season): Only backup defensive guard specialist Azher Merchant retired. They lost three to free agency, with forward Tea Time Typhoo being their biggest loss. But team catalyst Beezow Doo-Doo Zopitty Bop Bop-Bop returns from injury to a team that can still field its entire starting lineup from opening day of last season when they were preseason favorites.
2. Dallas Demons (7-3 last season): Nobody retired and the two guys they lost were both seldom-used back-ups. Steady point guard Bootlace Barnaby returns from injury. Stars Lemon Jell-o and Gulemon Mon-Mon had great seasons but could be getting old. Still, Demons positioned beautifully for the draft with no glaring needs.
3. Milwaukee Greyhounds (6-4 last season:) Lost great defender (but erratic offensive player) Puddles Pondhopper on defense. But Greyhounds were only team to escape free agent declarations. Can currently plug in Krabe Forest for Pondhopper, but should be able to do better.
4. Chicago Gale (7-3 last season:) No retirements, but defending champs hit hard by free agency. Lost top two scorers on team; playoff MVP forward Art Vandelay and point guard Ginger Vampire as well as solid back-up forward Pap Smearz. Still have Hall of Famer Max Payne, defensive genius Poppy Poppalucco and shot-blocker Stu Gatz.
5. Oklahoma City Lariats (7-3 last season:) Lost great defensive substitute guard Boo Radley to retirement. Lariats were decimated on their front line, losing all three staters to free agency. The only reason they're rated this high is because they retained two-time scoring champ and two-time regular season MVP Naf Naf, who, going into his third campaign, is as good a starting point as there is in the league.
6. Sacramento River Dogs (3-7 last season): Lost Isoceles Traingle, good defensive guard off the bench, to retirement. Two losses to free agency, but they retained all five players who finished the season in the starting lineup. Plus, they have one extra draft pick, courtesy of trade last season with Milwaukee.
7. Seattle Stampede (1-9 last season:) No retirements, but one of their two losses to free agency was All-MBA guard Yipeekayee Masterfalcon, who was the third-best scorer in the entire league. But everyone else is back. And the West is currently pretty weak.
8. Philadelphia Phobia (7-3 last season:)Lost backup guard Ted Hose to retirement, then got hammered in free agency by the loss of three starters. Among those was the biggest free agent announcement, shooting guard T.Kanes Masterson, who was second in the league in scoring, and his running mate at guard Mel A. Noma. Add forward Bruce Hammer, the team's second-best scorer, and the Phobia are looking at a major revamp.
9. San Jose Fighting Amigos (5-5 last season:) Lost both starting forwards to retirement and another, Shag Bark, to free agency. Still, if they pick up one or two good forwards they can be right back in the playoff hunt.
10. Houston Iguanas (2-8 last season:) No retirement losses, but both starting guards, including team's top scorer Jitter Bugg, declare for free agency. Undermanned at center, they need to draw three solid starters in draft.
RATING THE FREE AGENTS
Depending on which team gets them, I'd say 20 of the 23 free agents could be of help to one or more franchises out there. Here's one man's rating of them, best to last.
1. T. Kanes Masterson, 6-3 6th season guard from Philadelphia
2. Art Vandelay, 6-7 6th season forward from Chicago
3. Yipeekayee Masterfalcon, 6-4 5th season guard from Seattle
4. Reckless Abandon, 6-8 4th season forward from Oklahoma City
5. Ginger Vampire, 6-4 8th season guard from Chicago
6. Walter Sobchack, 6-7 3rd season forward from Oklahoma City
7. Tea Time Typhoo, 6-8 3rd season forward from Charleston
8. Bruce Hammer, 6-8 6th season forward from Philadelphia
9. Jitter Bugg, 6-0 5th season guard from Houston
10. Sven Marquardt, 6-9 4th season forward from Houston
11. Hodor, 6-8 4th season center from Oklahoma City
12. Pap Smearz, 6-8 3rd season forward from Chicago
13. Linwood Boomer, 6-9 7th season center from Sacramento
14. Mel A. Noma, 6-1 3rd season guard from Philadelphia
15. Bob Kittle, 5-11 3rd season guard from Seattle
16. Cy O'Nara, 6-6 8th season forward from Charleston
17. Abe Binder, 6-7 8th season forward from Oklahoma City
18. Snarkey Comment, 6-3 5th season guard from Houston
19. Achtu Meinlieber, 6-3 7th season guard from Sacramento
20. Shag Bark, 6-9 6th season forward from San Jose
21. King Schmeckpepr, 6-11 3rd season center from Dallas
22. Baba Brinkman, 6-6 2nd season forward from Dallas
23. Verbal Kent, 6-2 4th season guard from Charleston
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