Retirements, free agents reshaping look of the MBA

Twenty-three MBA players, 12 of them starters and all but two having started at one time or another in their career, have opted for free agency for Season 39. Add the 11 players (3 starters) who retired following the conclusion of Season 38, and fans of the league will experience real roster shake-ups when action begins again.

We have no idea how talented the league's rookies will be since they have not yet been created, but here's a really early look at the team rankings based purely on how their rosters now stand, with the draft, improvements and players getting older and worse, yet to come.

1. Charleston Mountaineers (5-5 last season): Only backup defensive guard specialist Azher Merchant retired. They lost three to free agency, with forward Tea Time Typhoo being their biggest loss. But team catalyst Beezow Doo-Doo Zopitty Bop Bop-Bop returns from injury to a team that can still field its entire starting lineup from opening day of last season when they were preseason favorites.

2. Dallas Demons (7-3 last season): Nobody retired and the two guys they lost were both seldom-used back-ups. Steady point guard Bootlace Barnaby returns from injury. Stars Lemon Jell-o and Gulemon Mon-Mon had great seasons but could be getting old. Still, Demons positioned beautifully for the draft with no glaring needs.

3. Milwaukee Greyhounds (6-4 last season:) Lost great defender (but erratic offensive player) Puddles Pondhopper on defense. But Greyhounds were only team to escape free agent declarations. Can currently plug in Krabe Forest for Pondhopper, but should be able to do better.

4. Chicago Gale (7-3 last season:) No retirements, but defending champs hit hard by free agency. Lost top two scorers on team; playoff MVP forward Art Vandelay and point guard Ginger Vampire as well as solid back-up forward Pap Smearz. Still have Hall of Famer Max Payne, defensive genius Poppy Poppalucco and shot-blocker Stu Gatz.

5. Oklahoma City Lariats (7-3 last season:) Lost great defensive substitute guard Boo Radley to retirement. Lariats were decimated on their front line, losing all three staters to free agency. The only reason they're rated this high is because they retained two-time scoring champ and two-time regular season MVP Naf Naf, who, going into his third campaign, is as good a starting point as there is in the league.

6. Sacramento River Dogs (3-7 last season): Lost Isoceles Traingle, good defensive guard off the bench, to retirement. Two losses to free agency, but they retained all five players who finished the season in the starting lineup. Plus, they have one extra draft pick, courtesy of trade last season with Milwaukee.

7. Seattle Stampede (1-9 last season:) No retirements, but one of their two losses to free agency was All-MBA guard Yipeekayee Masterfalcon, who was the third-best scorer in the entire league. But everyone else is back. And the West is currently pretty weak.

8. Philadelphia Phobia (7-3 last season:)Lost backup guard Ted Hose to retirement, then got hammered in free agency by the loss of three starters. Among those was the biggest free agent announcement, shooting guard T.Kanes Masterson, who was second in the league in scoring, and his running mate at guard Mel A. Noma. Add forward Bruce Hammer, the team's second-best scorer, and the Phobia are looking at a major revamp.

9. San Jose Fighting Amigos (5-5 last season:) Lost both starting forwards to retirement and another, Shag Bark, to free agency. Still, if they pick up one or two good forwards they can be right back in the playoff hunt.

10. Houston Iguanas (2-8 last season:) No retirement losses, but both starting guards, including team's top scorer Jitter Bugg, declare for free agency. Undermanned at center, they need to draw three solid starters in draft.

RATING THE FREE AGENTS
Depending on which team gets them, I'd say 20 of the 23 free agents could be of help to one or more franchises out there. Here's one man's rating of them, best to last.

1. T. Kanes Masterson, 6-3 6th season guard from Philadelphia

2. Art Vandelay, 6-7 6th season forward from Chicago

3. Yipeekayee Masterfalcon, 6-4 5th season guard from Seattle

4. Reckless Abandon, 6-8 4th season forward from Oklahoma City

5. Ginger Vampire, 6-4 8th season guard from Chicago

6. Walter Sobchack, 6-7 3rd season forward from Oklahoma City

7. Tea Time Typhoo, 6-8 3rd season forward from Charleston

8. Bruce Hammer, 6-8 6th season forward from Philadelphia

9. Jitter Bugg, 6-0 5th season guard from Houston

10. Sven Marquardt, 6-9 4th season forward from Houston

11. Hodor, 6-8 4th season center from Oklahoma City

12. Pap Smearz, 6-8 3rd season forward from Chicago

13. Linwood Boomer, 6-9 7th season center from Sacramento

14. Mel A. Noma, 6-1 3rd season guard from Philadelphia

15. Bob Kittle, 5-11 3rd season guard from Seattle

16. Cy O'Nara, 6-6 8th season forward from Charleston

17. Abe Binder, 6-7 8th season forward from Oklahoma City

18. Snarkey Comment, 6-3 5th season guard from Houston

19. Achtu Meinlieber, 6-3 7th season guard from Sacramento

20. Shag Bark, 6-9 6th season forward from San Jose

21. King Schmeckpepr, 6-11 3rd season center from Dallas

22. Baba Brinkman, 6-6 2nd season forward from Dallas

23. Verbal Kent, 6-2 4th season guard from Charleston

NEWEST HALL OF FAMER NAMED...AMA SPIKIE

Ama Spikie named to Hall of Fame

Ama Spikie, the 6-8 center who played his entire 9-season career with the Philadelphia Phobia franchise, was named by the veteran committee as the 41st member of the MBA Hall of Fame.


Spikie enters the Hallowed Hall as the tied for 32nd place all time among all MBA players.

A four-time All Star Game selection, Spikie was the starting center for the entire run of Philadelphia's five consecutive championship seasons, which began in Spikie's rookie year.

He is the 10th center to be named to the Hall of Fame, and at 6-foot, 8-inches, ties Tom "the Bomb" Kondla as the smallest pivot man to achieve this distinction.

An outstanding defender, Spikie is just the 13th Hall of Famer to have played his entire career with one franchise.


Active Hall of Famer Max Payne of Chicago added a fourth championship ring to his total of 14 awards, moving him up to a tie for 14th all time player in the rankings, passing Tommy Zoop, Guru Gannon and Raisin Sport.


The other active Hall of Famer, Hrundi V. Bakshi, remains 5th all-time in the MBA rankings.











Hall of Fame Rankings
1. Curly Hogbottom 6-10 Forward Seasons 16-24 (9) 25 awards
2. Uncle Bob Masterson 6-2 Guard Seasons 4-13 (10) 21 awards
3. Sagittal Occlusal 6-8 Forward Seasons 25-32 (8) 19 awards
3. Cappy Gambol 6-6 Guard Seasons 1-7 (7) 19 awards
5. Boone Doggle 6-10 Forward Seasons 23-31 (9) 18 awards
5. Mamadou Zongo 6-4 Guard Seasons 15-31 (17) 18 awards
5. Hrundi V. Bakshi 6-7 Guard Seasons 29-? (10+) 18 awards STILL ACTIVE
8. Link Lennex 6-7 Forward Seasons 7-12 (6) 17 awards
8. Stu Nod 6-3 Guard Seasons 6-17 (12) 17 awards
10. Diamond Dallas Paige 6-11 Center Seasons 12-18 (7) 16 awards
10. Jonny Cockaroo 6-9 Center Seasons 18-29 (12) 16 awards
12. Doc Watson 6-2 Guard Seasons 9-17 (9) 15 awards
12. Cam Bodia 6-6 Forward Seasons 15-25 (11) 15 awards
14. Cheetos Jones 5-11 Guard Seasons 28-34 (7) 14 awards
14. Dan Mann 6-1 Guard Seasons 5-13 (9) 14 awards
14. Max Payne 7-0 Center Seasons 26-? (13+) 14 awards STILL ACTIVE moved up one rank.
17. Tommy Zoop 6-6 Guard Seasons 18-24 (7) 13 awards
17. Guru Gannon 6-7 Forward Seasons 11-17 (7) 13 awards
17. Raisin Sport 6-9 Forward Seasons 1-13 (13) 13 awards
20. Bill Rustler 6-9 Center Seasons 1-10 (10) 12 awards
20. Rip Slamjam 6-11 Center Seasons 5-19 (15) 12 awards
22. Ching-Chong Chung 5-10 Guard Seasons 26-37 (11) 11 awards
22. Tom Kondla 6-8 Center Seasons 28-33 (6) 11 awards
22. Shucks Oyster 6-4 Guard Seasons 17-22 (6) 11 awards
22. Gato Do Mato 6-11 Forward Seasons 30-36 (7) 11 awards
26. Joey Two-Tones 6-3 Guard Seasons 18-23 (6) 10 awards
26. Soul Duran 6-3 Guard Seasons 3-8 (6) 10 awards
26. Bart Pitbull 7-2 Center Seasons 17-23 (7) 10 awards
26. Shooter Flatch 6-7 Forward Seasons 19-25 (7) 10 awards
26. Alex Pal 6-11 Center Seasons 5-10 (6) 10 awards
26. Doug Fresh 5-11 Guard Seasons 1-15 (15) 10 awards

VETERANS COMMITTEE SELECTIONS
32. Marshall Stax 6-7 Forward Seasons 7-13 (7) 9 awards
32. Mable Reed 7-1 Center Seasons 6-16 (10) 9 awards
32. Tarjetas Indice 6-7 Forward Seasons 9-17 (9) 9 awards
32. Ama Spikie 6-8 Center Seasons 29-37 (9) 9 awards (MOST RECENT)
32. Bub Wright 6-5 Forward Seasons 1-7 (7) 9 awards
32. Tug Hershorts 6-11 Forward Seasons 25-33 (9) 9 awards
38. Silo Chamberlin 5-10 Guard Seasons 1-6 (6) 8 awards
38. Benny Gumm 6-0 Guard Seasons 19-31 (13) 8 awards
38. Oscar Mudcat 6-6 Guard Seasons 1-8 (8) 8 awards
38. Rowdy Ron Clutch 6-7 Forward Seasons 1-9 (9) 8 awards

Chicago's Art Vandelay wins Playoff MVP honors

Fifth-year Chicago Forward Art "the Architect" Vandelay earned his first MVP award, getting named the MVP of the Season 38 playoffs.

The announcement comes on the heels of the Chicago Gale's recent championship, a playoff campaign during which the 6-7 Vandelay was both the second-highest scorer (17.6 ppg) and second-highest rebounder (5.9 per game).

Vandelay outdistanced T.Kanes Masterson of runner-up Philadelphia in the voting 25.7 to 23.2. Chicago point guard Ginger Vampire was third with 21.7.

"The Architect" now has nine awards on his MBA card, one short of Hall of Fame status.
He is the 12th forward to win Playoff MVP honors and the first since Boone Doggle of Philadelphia won the honor in back-to-back seasons in 30 and 31.

Vandalay joins three previous Chicago winners of the Playoff MVP award...they are:
* Forward Cole Dreadlock, Season 2
* Guard Doc Watson, Season 16
* Guard Didger A'Doo, Season 35

MBA Finals Game 5 in Philadelphia

GALE COMES ALL THE WAY BACK TO WIN ELUSIVE THIRD TITLE

PHILADELPHIA -- It took a record-setting comeback for the ages and 22 seasons to do it, but the Chicago Gale, finally captured its third MBA title, winning a wild and wooly Game 5 on the home court of the sports' most dynastic franchise, 73-70.

To do so, the visiting team had to first overcome a 2-0 series deficit in which they lost both games to Philadelphia by 11 points. At that point, they seemed incapable of mustering even one win, let alone three in a row, a feat no team had ever accomplished in the previous 37 seasons of this hallowed league.

And in this, the "all-the-marbles" contest, the Gale fumbled and bumbled its way into a 10-point deficit at the end of the first quarter, and as in past efforts, a championship was evidently, not to be.

But a pair of Hall of Famers, the great 7-foot behemoth Max Payne and Chicago head coach Uncle Bob Masterson would not be denied. With Masterson, who had captured three titles in his brilliant playing career for none other than Philadelphia, exhorting his charges and an exhausted Payne putting on an MVP of the Game performance for the ages, the Gale began coming back in the second quarter.

After being out-rebounded as a team 10-5 in the first quarter, Chicago, led by Payne, buckled down and dominated the boards from that point on. At the half, the deficit had been cut to three. And going into the fourth quarter, Chicago held a precarious 2-point advantage, courtesy of a Payne put-back near the end of the third.

The fourth quarter was a nail-biter, with Chicago jumping out to a 5-point lead courtesy of a 3-point play from Art Vandelay.
Then.....well, here are some of the highlights as the time units ticked down:
-- Chicago point guard Ginger Vampire increased the lead to 7 points on a short jumper with 39 time units remaining.
-- With 36 time units left, Vampire hit Chicago's only 3-point shot of the game, burying a deep trey despite the forced miss by defender Mel A. Noma...Gale now led by 8.
-- With 26 time units left, Philadelphia's big lefty power forward Davis Phillips hit his second 3-point shot of the game to pull the home team within 5 points as the crowd screamed and stripped to its underwear.
-- Following a pair of uncharacteristic point-blank misses by Chicago's Payne, Philadelphia's Noma buries a medium jumper with 21 time units left to bring the Phobia within 3 at 71-68.
-- Chicago two-guard Poppy Poppalucco pops in a short jumper after shaking loose of T.Kanes Masterson, giving the Gale a 5-point lead with 17 left.
-- Poppalucco then blocks a medium shot (it was good) by Masterson and the Gale gets the ball with 15 left.
-- Payne, feeling all of his 13-seasons, misses, wills his way to the offensive rebound, then misses again...Philly gets the board and Masterson scores on the subsequent fast break. The Chicago lead is now 73-70 with 9 time units left.
-- A Poppolucco miss is rebounded yet again by Payne, who is first denied, then fouled by Diss Reflexia. Chicago retains possession.
-- Payne's chance to salt the game away down low is blocked by Reflexia and Philly has the ball with 2 time units left, trailing 73-70.
"At this point," Masterson later related, "all I could think of was 'no foul.'"
-- But with 1 time unit left, Payne fouls Reflexia setting up a chance for a game-tying trey on the final time unit.
-- Thankfully for Chicago, the only inbound pass available was to Reflexia, who had not made a trey all year. He heaved it...CLANK...and Chicago had its long-awaited mother-freaking title.

Index cards were flying everywhere as the Gale reserves stormed the tabletop and shuffled themselves in with the likes of Gatz and Vandelay.

In the locker room afterward, blueberry pie, a favorite of Hank Davia, the last man to center a Chicago championship effort in Season 16, was served and thrown about the room.

Purple lips abounded.

Players took turns going in and out of the venerable cigar box, which was brought out for just this celebration. And why not? The last time Chicago had won a championship, the date was December 29, 2002. That was many rolls of the cubes of chance ago. You do the math.

Meanwhile, Philadelphia, which has won an unbelievable total of 15 championships, has to settle for a second consecutive runner-up finish. Some day they will take solace in yet another unlikely challenge in a season in which they split a record 8 meetings against the club that eventually eeked out the last win.

20-PLUS GVP PERFORMANCES
-- Chicago point guard Ginger Vampire came up huge in the clutch with a game-high 20 points, 4 assists and 2 rebounds.
-- Championships follow around Chicago's Hall of Fame center MAX PAYNE like rats do the Pied Piper. Payne, despite a horrendous shooting day, pulled down a game-high 11 rebounds, scored 14 points, stole 2 passes and blocked 1 shot while holding Reflexia to just 10 points. He was truly MVP of the Game, bringing a long-sought championship to Chicago in his first year with the team. The title is the fourth of Payne's career and he has now won a ring with all four of the franchises he has played with, an unprecedented accomplishment. His last three rings came in the last four seasons for three different clubs. In Season 35, he won with Oklahoma City. In Season 36 he won with Charleston. And in Season 38 he won with Chicago. (He was injured for the playoffs in Season 37 with Charleston. He won his first ring in Season 28 with Dallas). The legend is still growing.
-- Chicago small forward Art Vandelay was again rock solid for the champions with 15 points and 6 rebounds.
--Philadelphia shooting guard T.Kanes Masterson was held below 50 percent shooting by Poppy Poppalucco, but still put in 17 points, had 2 rebounds, 2 assists and 1 steal.
--Phobia power forward Davis Phillips' 10-point, 5-rebound first quarter got Philly out of the gate fast. He ended with 19 points and 8 rebounds, both team highs.



NEXT UP: POST SEASON STATS, THE PLAYOFF MVP AWARD AND HALL OF FAME ANNOUNCEMENT.

Season 38 MBA Finals Game 4

GALE RUNS ROUGHSHOD OVER PHOBIA AGAIN

CHICAGO -- We're going to a Game 5 final showdown contest.

For the second game in a row, the Chicago Gale came screaming out of the gate, grabbing a huge early lead and coasting to a win against their opponents from Philadelphia.

This time Chicago delivered the first 10 points on the way to a 81-60 victory that tied up this championship series at two games each, setting up a title match in Philadelphia.

The big hero for Chicago was power forward Stu Gatz, who returned from a 7-game injury and had the best game of his two-season career. Gatz led both teams in scoring and rebounding, and the Gale, once thought dead in the water after two straight losses to start the series, seems ebullient with hope.

It didn't seem to matter much that Chicago point guard Ginger Vampire, the previous game's MVP was totally ineffective and fouled out, because Gatz was there to spearhead this particular triumph.

The Gale's vaunted defense, best in the East in Season 38, was intact again with Gatz's return to the lineup, holding Philly to just 47.3 percent shooting.

And now we go to Game 5 for all the marbles.

20-PLUS GVP PERFORMANCES
--T.Kanes Masterson of Philadelphia again led the offensive charge for the Phobia, scoring a team-high 18 points. But with Chicago's Poppy Poppalucco continually hounding him, Masterson was forced to put up 18 shots, shooting just 39 percent for the contest, in order to get those points. He also pulled down 4 boards and had 1 assist.
--Bruce Hammer returned to scoring form for the Phobia in Game 4, getting 14 points, grabbing 4 boards, assisting 2 times , registering 1 steal and 1 blocked shot.
--Poppy Poppalucco of Chicago shadowed Masterson all game long while scoring 12 points of his own and tying for game-high honors in assists with 4. He also tied for most blocked shots with 2 and delivered 1 steal.
--Hall of Fame Chicago center Max Payne, looking to become the first MBA player in history to win four championship rings with four different teams, had another stellar game with 14 points, 3 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot, holding Diss Reflexia's offensive output down in the process.
--STU GATZ returned to the Chicago lineup with an MVP of the Game effort that included game-highs in both points (25) and rebounds (9), adding 2 blocks to that total. Gatz hit his first 11 shots before finishing 11 for 13 for the contest. (The playoff record is 12-for-12).
--Art Vandelay came through with his usual fine scoring output, netting 16 points, grabbing 6 boards and registering 1 assist.

PLAYOFF NOTES
The championship finale will be the first Game Five since Oklahoma City bested Chicago in Season 35 and just the third time the Title Series has gone the distance in the past 10 campaigns.

ASTOUNDING FACT
No team has ever lost the first two games in the finals and come back to win the Championship. Chicago could be the first.