Free agent summary: Not much talent is testing the free agent market this season, with only three starters opting to enter the draft. The best of these is San Jose point guard Cremeofsum Yunguy, who will be entering his 15th season. Only 10 total free agents, with 7 coming from Dave teams. Once again, hapless Gillette loses the most players to free agency, including starter Helmut Nudels and the last original franchise player Hi-Ho "Trailus" Bootwhip. Three teams, Seattle, Dallas and Charleston, lost nobody. The champs from L.A. lost a starter in forward Turk Attaturk, but he was the most expendable among The Big One starters. Add the 16 rookies to the 10 free agents and you have 26 players in the draft, meaning every team will get three picks except for the four playoff teams, who will each get two. (There are some exceptions due to trades made last season).
SEASON 51 ROOKIES
This is a fine rookie crop this coming season, with at least one very good player at every position and about 11 of the 16 pretty much assured of making an MBA squad. Forwards seem to have the most depth. Here's the way I (Dave) rank them going into the upcoming draft.
Grade A players
6-9 center Johnny Bananas
6-0 guard Lefty Scavenger
6-8 forward Satan Israel
Grade B players
6-8 guard Vinny Zazeech (ties for the tallest guard to enter the MBA...other Julio Ganatra
Grade C players
6-7 forward Buba Lipa
5-9 guard Fuck Mountain
6-6 guard Ol' Roy
6-8 forward Zippy Wunderslug
6-7 forward Idna "The Lazax" ValSid
6-7 forward Dark Urine
6-7 center Izzy Mandelbaum
Grade D players
6-7 center Juan Fellswoop
6-5 forward Anthony "Fish Face" Finseca
Grade F players
6-2 guard Anthony "Coldcut" Gabagool
6-5 guard Jake "Next Door" Koors
6-10 forward Rattles Ithome
The Rookie Game
(free agents vs. the rookies)
The Rookies outlasted the Free Agent players in a double-overtime thriller by a score of 88-84.
PLAYER OF THE GAME
6-7 rookie forward BUBA LIPA was outrageous in this game, especially on the boards where he gathered a game-high 12 caroms. Lipa, who accumulated 42 GVP, also tied for high scorer in the contest with 23 points on 10 for 16 shooting, with many coming on offensive rebound putbacks. He was 1 for 2 from deep and 2 for 4 from the foul line with a trio of dunks. Additionally, he led everyone with 4 blocked shots and topped his team with 3 assists. He also snatched one of the two steals by the rookies.
Other 20-plus GVP performers
29 GVP--Cremeofsum Yunguy, free agent guard, 23 points, 4 assists, 1 steal, 1 rebound
27 GVP--Bouganvillea Hedge, free agent forward, 18 points, 5 rebounds, 4 assists
25 GVP--Satan Israel, rookie forward, 18 points, 7 rebounds
22 GVP--Dead Dreadmore, free agent center, 16 points, 6 rebounds
21 GVP--Fuck Mountain, rookie guard, 16 points, 4 rebounds, 1 block
21 GVP--Turk Attaturk, free agent forward, 8 points, 7 assists, 2 steals, 3 rebounds, 1 block
The Season 51 Draft Order
(prime picks can change)
