Featured Game No. 8...Milwaukee at Charleston

Charleston 78, Milwaukee 63 

Mountaineers take down another contender

CHARLESTON -- After besting Philadelphia in their previous game, the Charleston Mountaineers played their most complete game of Season 46 in defeating the visiting Milwaukee Greyhounds, 78-63. They now have a solid grip on the second playoff spot in the East.

Charleston (now 5-3 with a league-best 3-game winning streak) was led by outstanding games from Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo and Flip Testerton, two lame-duck stars playing their last season for the Mountaineers.

Milwaukee (now 4-4) had its 3-game winning streak snapped and has lost both regular season games to Charleston.

As in their previous meeting, neither team cracked the 50 percent shooting mark, but Charleston made up for it with a barrage of 3s and free throws,

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Seven-year jumping jack FLIP TESTERTON  of Charleston captured his fourth POG of the season with another strong performance as he bids for his second All-MBA star in this, his final campaign. The 6-5 forward, vying for league leadership in rebounds, pulled down a game-high 7 to go with his 26 points as he completely dominated Faku Sosume of Milwaukee. Testerton was 8 for 16 from the floor, potting 2 of 4 from beyond the arc and slamming home 2 dunks. They kept putting him on the line, and he responded with an 8 for 9 night at the stripe. He also had 2 blocked shots, 2 assists and finished second in most points prevented with 5.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Retiring Charleston point guard Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo became just the third MBA player this season to reach 30 points in a game, as the 10-year 3-point specialist lit it up for exactly 30. The league's top 3-point shooter the past two seasons put on a show for the hometown fans in this one, hitting the first 6 treys he attempted on the way to a 7 for 8 inferno-of-a game from deep. He dominated Fatty McButterpants. In addition to all that scoring, Boligrafo pulled down 5 rebounds and had 1 steal.

-- Big Ape Con Myth was the lone standout for Milwaukee in this game, scoring a team-high 20 points. Myth led a serious charge by the Greyhounds in the third quarter, but it went unsustained for lack of support. Myth also pulled down 3 rebounds and finished with 4 prevented points, tops for his team. He put the hurt on his man, Frog Morton.

POINTS PREVENTED

Charleston...15

Milwaukee...6

POINTS PREVENTED LEADERS

1. J.J. Gargantuan, Charleston...8

2. Flip Testerton, Charleston...5

3. Ape Con Myth, Milwaukee...4

NEXT UP: The bracket concludes with an important cross-over between playoff contenders Oklahoma City (4-3) and Philadelphia (3-4). It will be Poodle "Stix" Jackson Day for the retiring forward favorite for the home team Phobia. 

Featured Game No. 7...Sacramento at Oklahoma City

 OKLAHOMA CITY 83, SACRAMENTO 63

LARIATS AMBUSH RIVER DOGS

OKLAHOMA CITY -- In the biggest upset of Season 46 thus far, the Oklahoma City Lariats totally took control of the game in the second half to shock the previously unbeaten Sacramento River Dogs, 83-63.

Oklahoma City stayed within a point of the heavily favored R-Dogs in the first half, then unexpectedly punished them in the second half, taking over second place in the West Division in the process.

Oklahoma City is now 4-3, while Sacramento, it's 6-game win streak snapped, is now 6-1.

PLAYER OF THE GAME

Nine-year veteran forward PETER PIZZA , the longest tenured Lariat, turned the game Oklahoma City's way with a tremendous third quarter on the way to a game-high 23-point night. He dominated his more illustrious opponent Pap Smearz, going 11 for 12 from the field with a slam and a trey, with his only miss being one of the two 3-pointers her took. The 6-11 Pizza Man also pulled down 5 rebounds, had 1 blocked shot and distributed 2 assists in the huge win.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Second-season Oklahoma City point guard Flip Phelps registered the second triple-double of his short career, totally out-playing Great Gruncle Terry of Sacramento. Phelps scored 12 points, had a game-high 5 assists and yanked down 5 boards for the Lariats.

-- Oklahoma City's rookie center Chochky Galumpkus took full advantage of a couple of long force-rests for his opponent Tree Fiddy and out-did his man in every instance. The 7-1 Galumpkus scored 15 points, grabbed 2 boards, had 1 assist, 1 steal and 1 blocked shot to help secure the win.

-- The Lariat's top scorer on the season, Anurag Dickshit, contributed 16 points from his forward post, tying for game-high in rebounds with 6, recording a game-high 3 steals, blocking 1 shot and dishing 2 assists as he dominated Doo-rag Dripp of Sacramento.

-- As the only Sacramento starter to not get dominated by his opponent, Sacramento shooting guard Potus Obama scored a team-high 16 points, grabbed 2 rebounds, handed out 3 assists and tied for the league leadership in steals with his 10th of the season.

NEXT UP: A huge-ass virtual game is on the horizon between East Division playoff hopefuls as Charleston (3-3) travels to Philadelphia (3-3). It feels like a must win for the Mountaineers, who lost their earlier game with the Phobia 68-61, despite a POG performance by Charleston's Cat Timol.

WEST DIVISION STANDINGS

1st -- Sacramento 6-1

2nd --Oklahoma City 4-3 (division wins tie-breaker)(up from 3rd)

3rd -- Seattle 4-3 (down from 2nd)

4th -- Los Angeles 2-5 (up from last)

Last -- San Jose 1-6 (down from 4th) (4-game losing streak)

Featured Game No. 6...Sacramento at Seattle...with Bonus

SACRAMENTO 98, SEATTLE 62

RIVER DOGS RAVAGE SEATTLE BY 36

SEATTLE -- The Sacramento R-Dogs made dog food out of the second-place nags who are the Stampede, destroying Seattle on its own home court 98-62 in a game that was never in doubt.

This featured game pitted the top two teams in the West Division standings and a hopeful home team that was on a 3-game win streak. But the previous 81-57 drubbing Sacramento (6-0) gave young Seattle the first time out paled in comparison to this trouncing, which completed the season sweep.

Sacramento sub forward Cherry Challenge Payne had a chance to get the River Dogs to 100 points on the last time unit of the game, but he missed a short jumper. No team has reached the century mark this season.

This was the seventh game the new slaughter rule was put into effect.

Seattle is now 4-2 and still in firm possession of second place in the West.

PLAYER OF GAME

Sixth-season River Dogs forward DOO-RAG DRIPP scored a game-high 22 points in the win and pulled down a game-high (tied) 7 rebounds to capture his second POG of Season 46. All five Sacramento starters scored 12 or more points in the win, with Dripp going 9 for 12 from the floor and humiliating fellow All Star Pietro Destroyer of Seattle in the process. Dripp also registered 1 dunk and was 4 of 6 from the foul line. The 6-7 Dripp led everyone in the game in blocked shots with 3 and prevented a game-high 8 points.

Other 20-plus GVP performers

-- Third-year Sacramento point guard Great Gruncle Terry led his team in assists with 3, pulled down 5 rebounds and scored 12 points in his usual solid game.

-- Sacramento shooting guard Potus Obama scored 18 points, grabbed 3 rebounds, tied for game-high in steals with 2 to add to his league-leading total and dished 2 assists. He caused enough havoc defensively to lead everyone in caused turnovers with 4.

-- Longtime Sacramento center Tree Fiddy, going against fellow West All Star center Seven Castanza, scored 17 pointsk, had 4 rebounds, 2 blocked shots and 2 assists while preventing 4 points defensively.

-- 10-season veteran Sacramento forward Pap Smearz scored 19 points for the second time this season against Seattle, grabbing 3 boards, tying for most steals in the game with 2 and finishing second in points prevented with 5 and also second in turnovers caused with 3,

-- The only Seattle player to get a mention in this space did so the hard way. Second-year point guard Don Barzini scored just 5 points on 2 of 9 shooting, but distributed a game-high 7 assists, which puts him into a league-leading tie in assists with Sacramento's Terry. The 6-2 Barzini also hustled up a total of 7 rebounds which tied for game high in that category, and added 1 steal.

POINTS PREVENTED BY QUARTER

Sacramento...4...5...8...2   Total of 19

Seattle...........0...2...2...5    Total of 9

TOPS IN POINTS PREVENTED

1. Dripp, Sacramento 8

2. Smearz, Sacramento 5

3. Fiddy, Sacramento 4

TURNOVERS CAUSED BY QUARTER

Sacramento...3...3...4...3  Total of 13

Seattle...........0...0...1...1   Total of 2

TOPS IN TURNOVERS CAUSED

1. Obama, Sacramento 4

2. Smearz, Sacramento 3

3 with 2 each

NEXT UP: San Jose (1-4), missing two starters to injury, travels to Oklahoma City (2-3) where the Lariats hope to pull within a game of second-place Seattle in the West. Oklahoma City edged them 73-69 in their first meeting with the POG being OKC's Anurag Dickshit.

BONUS

A LOOK AT RETIREMENT AGES

During the most recent spate of retirement announcements, franchise owners wondered what the most frequent age of MBA players is when they hang it up.

Well, I'm not about to go through every guy who's ever donned a notecard, but I did use the 48 members of the Hall of Fame who have either retired or announced their retirements to come up with the following information.

8 players have retired after their 6th season

13 players after their 7th

2 players after 8th

8 players after 9th

4 players after 10th

2 players after 11th

3 players after 12th

3 players after 13th

0 players after 14th

2 players after 15th

1 player after 16th

2 players after 17th

That means the mean number of seasons completed by an MBA Hall of Fame player is 9.25 seasons.

The mode for Hall of Famers is retirement after their 7th season.

Whether that sample group would reflect the rest of the league is unknown. I'm guessing yes.

 

46th MBA All Star Game

EAST 88, WEST 80

CROIX SHINES IN ALL STAR FAREWELL 

PHILADELPHIA -- The stage was set for Hall of Fame Philadelphia point guard Colquitt Croix and he did not disappoint. Playing before his adoring home fans in his last All Star Game, the 6-2 hoops genius led his East teammates to an 88-80 victory, their fourth consecutive All Star Game victory. 

It would not, however, be an All Star Game without a key injury. With just 9 time units remaining in the entire game, Los Angeles guard Dr. Marcus Brody re-injured the same part of his index card that kept him out of six regular season and one playoff game last season. This injury will be for three games. In his stead, Philly picked up Anass Rammer from the cut pile. Ouch!

ALL STAR GAME MVP

Philadelphia favorite COLQUITT CROIX saved his seventh and final All Star Game appearance for his best performance in the spotlight game. Croix tickled the twine for a game-high 26 points on 9 of 18 shooting, bombing home 5 treys in 12 attempts and plopping in 3 of 4 from the foul stripe. Even more impressive than his scoring numbers was the game-high 7 rebounds that he corralled. He also tied for game-high in assists with 4, one short of an All Star Game triple-double. A fitting conclusion for a star playing against the best in the league.

Other 20-plus GVP performances

-- Milwaukee's third-year shooting guard Lannigan Lord Hobo scored 18 points, grabbed 3 rebounds, tied for game-high with 2 steals and dealt one assist in the win.

-- It took 8 seasons for him to get here, but Dallas forward Tiger Masterson showed he belonged with a 20-point game that included 5 rebounds and a steal.

-- In his final All Star Game, retiring Charleston forward Flip Testerton had a typical Testerton game. Although scoring just 9 points, he filled up other stat columns with 4 boards, 3 assists, a game-high 2 blocks and tied for game-high in steals with 2. 

-- Second-year San Jose shooting guard Mister Methane did not have a great shooting percentage game, but still managed 16 points while getting 2 rebounds and 3 assists.

-- Seattle's third-year center Seven Castanza contributed 18 points, 4 rebounds and 1 blocked shot.

-- Six-year Sacramento forward Doo-rag Dripp banged home 16 points while pulling down 4 rebounds and tying for game-high in steals with 2.

-- Los Angeles point guard Dr. Marcus Brody came into the game in the second quarter and began matching Colquitt Croix's scoring prowess. It was Brody's shooting that got the West within 3 points of the lead halfway through the final quarter. Unfortunately, the injury that kept him out of a number of games for the Big One last year, showed up again in the waning moments of this game. Still, he ended with a team-high 20 points (including 4 treys), 1 rebound, 3 assists and 1 steal.

Following the compiling of All Star Game stats, the second half of the season will begin with bracket No. 6, which includes a pair of first-against-second place teams squaring off right out of the gate.

-- FEATURED GAME: Sacramento (5-0) at Seattle (4-1). Seattle is hoping to ambush the powerful River Dogs, who humiliated them 81-57 behind Tree Fiddy and Pap Smearz's co-POG performances in Sacramento.

-- San Jose (1-4), still playing without star center Hunk R. Down, visits Oklahoma City (2-3), which looks to even its record and get back into the West playoff picture.

-- This one's huge, with unbeaten Dallas (5-0), minus injured Hall of Famer Chip Battoe,  playing second-place Philadelphia (3-2) in the City of Brotherly Love.

-- Milwaukee (2-3) is hoping Dallas topples Philly, because they have an excellent chance of catching the Phobia with a victory at win-less Kansas City (0-5).

-- Charleston (2-3) can also even up its overall mark with a cross-over win at Los Angeles (1-4), whose best player, Dr. Marcus Brody, was just lost to injury.

Season 46 at the Half...Stat leaders and All Star Game roster announcement...with factoids

 

ALL STAR GAME FACTOIDS

** Hall of Fame guard  Colquitt Croix of Philadelphia is tied for 6th place all time in 3-point buckets made in the All Star Game with 14. This will be his last appearance and it will be played on his home court in Philly.

** Forward Pietro Destroyer of Seattle, also playing in his last All Star Game, is just 2 assists away from tying All Star Game leader Percy Faith in ASG assists. Destoryer has 18...one behind Uncle Bob Masterson and 2 behind Faith's 20.

**Both Croix and Destroyer have made the All Star Game seven times in seven seasons, good for a 9th place tie all time.

** Croix has earned 6 All Star Game starting assignments. tied for fifth-most all time with Naf Naf, Diamond Dallas Paige, Gulemon Mon-Mon, Soul Duran, Ching-Chong Chung, Tommy Zoop and Saggittal Occlusal. Topping the list are:

9--Curly Hogbottom

8--Mamadou Zongo

7--Boone Doggle

7--Uncle Bob Masterson

**Center Tree Fiddy of Sacramento has appeared in 6 All Star Games...tied for 22nd most appearances.

**No rookies made the All Star Game this season. The closest to making it was Freddy Chepuzzo of Kansas City, who was the only 20-plus GVP player in the league to not make the team. His 20.4 GVP would have been enough for him to start for the West.

**Getting closer to Hall of Fame status with this ASG appearance are: Pap Smearz (9th award), Tree Fiddy (8th), Pietro Destroyer (8th...but retiring) and Dr. Marcus Brody (6th).

**There are 9 first-time All Stars this season. Four of the 5 starters in the West are first-time All Stars. There are a total of 5 West first timers and 4 for the East. The one first-timer starting in the East is forward Tiger Masterson of Dallas, who makes his first ASG team in his 8th season in the MBA.

**Last appearances are being made by retiring players Colquitt Croix, Pietro Destroyer and guard Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo of Charleston.

**The oldest All Stars this season are both in their 10th season: forward Pap Smearz of Sacramento and Boligrafo.

**Every MBA team is represented in this ASG, including second-year team Kansas City, which gets its first All Star in the card of second-year forward "Hi-Ho" Trailus Bootwhip.

**Conspicuous by their absence:

-- All-MBA guard last season, Potus Obama of Sacramento...the only R-Dog starter to not make the team.

-- Last season's ASG MVP, guard Fatty McButterpants of Milwaukee, who registered a triple-double in the S45 game and has made the team in both his first two seasons.

-- Wawa Wewa of Philadelphia, who was edged out of his first appearance by Ape Con Myth of Milwaukee due to a poor performance in his last game.

-- Kansas City rookie guard Freddy Chepuzzo who looked like a lock but then had two sub-par games in a row.

-- Oklahoma City's highly touted rookie center Chochky Galumpkus, who has been a buster thus far.

-- Hall of Fame center J.J. Gargantuan of Charleston, who had made the ASG all 8 of his seasons in the league.

-- Third-year forward Frog Morton of Charleston, who, thanks to being shut down by Chip Battoe in two games this season, never came close to the ASG this season after starting his first two seasons.

-- Shooting guard Bingo Bango of Dallas, who has appeared in 3 ASGs and will be retiring.

**There are 10 players on this season's ASG roster who also made last season's ASG. 

**The West has five different starters this season than they did last season.

** The players who have won more than one ASG MVPs:

3--Tommy Zoop

3--Uncle Bob Masterson

2--Naf Naf

2--Smoky Talisker

2--Cheetos Jones

2--Boone Doggle

2--Cappy Gambol

2--Didger A'Doo

**The only player in this game to win ASG MVP is Colquitt Croix.

**The East has won 28 of these Star contests and the West has won 17. The East has won the last 3.

**Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo, making his second and last ASG, made his first ASG 8 seasons ago.

Featured Game No. 5...Oklahoma City at Sacramento...plus bonus

 

Sacramento 93, Oklahoma City 82

River Dogs vanquish stubborn Lariats

SACRAMENTO -- The Sacramento River Dogs overcame a strong challenge from visiting Oklahoma City to secure a 93-82 home win and go into the half time break with a perfect 5-0 record.

The game Lariats stayed within striking distance of the R-Dogs throughout and made a big push in the fourth quarter to get within one point of the lead. But Sacramento got huge buckets down the stretch from Pap Smearz and Potus Obama, both of whom were somewhat somnambulant until then.

Sacramento boasted the top defense in the MBA coming into the contest, but Oklahoma City was outstanding offensively, shooting 64.2 percent, with all five starters providing a balanced attack. 

But the River Dogs, the second-best offensive team in the league, bettered that mark with a scorching 75.9 percent shooting night. 

Oklahoma City goes into the break 2-3.

PLAYER OF GAME

Eight-season veteran center TREE FIDDY of the victorious River Dogs registered his third POG of the season, tying him with Flip Testerton of Charleston and Colquitt Croix of Philadelphia for most this campaign. Fiddy gave highly touted rookie center Chochky Galumpkus a good going over, especially in the first half when he burned the newcomer for 21 of his game-high 25 points. The 6-8 Fiddy was 11 for 12 from the floor (including a slam), scoring mainly down low against his 7-1 opponent. He was a perfect 3 for 3 from the foul stripe, making him 7 for 7 for the season. He added 2 assists. He goes into the break averaging 19 points per game, currently tied for second in the league in scoring and is a cinch for his sixth All Star Game and in pursuit of a second foil star.

OTHER 20-PLUS GVP PERFORMERS

-- Ten-season veteran forward Pap Smearz of Sacramento came on strong at the end of this hard-fought contest, ending with 14 points, 4 assist, the only steal of the game, 1 block and 1 rebound. A fifth All Star Game seems imminent.

-- Sixth-year forward Doo-Rag Dripp of Sacramento continues to have a fine season and will land in his third All Star classic. In this game the 6-7 Dripp scored 18 points, pulled down 3 rebounds and tied for game-high in blocked shots with 2. He just added that defensive ability to swat shots away this campaign.

-- Oklahoma City's second-year point guard Flip Phelps was a key to keeping the Lariats a threat in this game. Phelps tied for game-high in assists with 5 while scoring 13 points and pulling down 2 boards. His 3 for 3 shooting from beyond the arc did nothing to harm his second-in-the-league status from deep.

-- Power forward Peter Pizza of Oklahoma City scored 14 points, tied for most blocks with 2, grabbed 2 reboun ds and dished 3 assists, doing gallant battle with Pap Smearz all game long.

NEXT UP: Seattle (3-1) at Los Angeles (1-3) ... the up and coming Stampede can get a stranglehold on second place in the West and knock the defending champions seemingly out of contention with a road win here.

BONUS: RETIREMENTS ANNOUNCED

Here's a list of the players who announced their retirements, which will take place at the conclusion of Season 46.

Analysis

-- Two teams, Sacramento and Oklahoma City, escaped without any retirements. The Lariats are a young team in a rebuilding stage, but the River Dogs ran the gauntlet with some very key older players.

-- Hardest hit teams were Philadelphia and Charleston. Philly lost one of the great guard of all time in Colquitt Croix and Charleston is the only team to lose two starters, both key members of the Mountaineers.

-- Cut pile losses include the oldest current player in the game, center Wayan Garuda, who has been in the league since Season 31. 

Ranking the retirees by awards they have thus far won we have: 

Colquitt Croix...12

Pietro Destroyer...7

Bingo Bango...4

Poodle "Stix" Jackson...3

Wayan Garuda...3

Flip Testerton...2

Lapiz Lapiz Boligrafo...1

the rest have 0