Season 38 Preview

Predicted finish of MBA teams following draft, improvements and trade.

WEST DIVISION

1ST--OKLAHOMA CITY LARIATS: (9-1, 1-2) Although they lost one of their most important players in defensive stalwart guard Lemon Jell-o, the Lariats are still fully loaded with young talent and should capture their fifth consecutive West Division title. Simon Barsinister taking Jell-o's place is an acknowledged step down, but Hodor's addition at center will strengthen the team's one weak spot from a season ago. They still have the league-leading scorer Naf Naf at guard and his All-MBA teammate Walter Sobchack at forward. Reckless Abandon is set for a break-out year as well.

2ND--DALLAS DEMONS: (3-7) The infusion of all-time steals leader Lemon Jell-o and promising rookie point guard Bootlace Barnaby will most assuredly end the three-season string of last-place finishes by Dallas. Center Naceg Gecan, the top player at his position last season, has also improved his defense to go along with his potent 18.8 scoring pace and league-best (tied) rebounding ability. The forwards are somewhat questionable, but Dallas is primed for post-season.

3RD (tied)--SAN JOSE FIGHTING AMIGOS:(3-7) The aging franchise received a much-needed shot of youth in the persons of rookie guard Guy "the Eye" Clark and center Pippi Pippstrelli. Both will be instant starters, Clark being a superb shooter and Pippstrelli a defensive stalwart and rebounding machine. With some luck they could challenge Dallas.

3RD (tied)-- SACRAMENTO RIVER DOGS: (3-7) The R-Dogs replaced half its roster, and only point guard Patchy Fogg will remain a starter from last season's lineup. Sacramento traded Milwaukee third-year great Danke Shame for four-time all star game shooting guard Steve Carter, two decent rookie forwards and the Greyhounds first draft pick next season.

LAST -- SEATTLE STAMPEDE: (6-4, 5-1) Champs will plummet. Loss of playoff MVP center Dis Reflexia is a brutal one.


EAST DIVISION

1ST-- CHARLESTON MOUNTAINEERS: (7-3, 0-2) After playing without Hall of Fame center Max Payne in a painful first-round playoff elimination, the Mountaineers let Payne go, added rave-worthy rookie pivot J.J. Gargantuan and are poised to nail down their third consecutive East Division title. Only Oklahoma City has a younger starting lineup, and the Mountaineers have good, tested depth. With Bop-Bop, B. Quiet, Buck Naked and Jesus Moron Joseph all in their prime, Charleston is looking to navigate the tough East and nail down their second championship in three seasons.

2ND (tied) -- CHICAGO GALE: (5-5) Hit hardest by retirment with the losses of starting guards Didger A'doo and Hall of Famer Ching-Chong Chung, the Gale seems to have weathered the storm...at least on paper. Steady point guard Ginger Vampire will move seamlessly into the lineup, and rookie Chief Keef seems like a solid two-way player as his running mate. All-MBA forward Art Vandelay will be joined up front by the exciting aquisition of Hall of Fame center Max Payne.

2ND (tied) -- MILWAUKEE GREYHOUNDS: (5-5) Looking to get off a four-season .500-record snide, the Greyhounds fired coach Raisin Sport, replaced him with Fly Davia, and traded their team MVP of the past three seasons, Steve Carter, along with two rookies and a draft pick, to get defensive stalwart Danke Shame. They also created quite the buzz in Milwaukee by bringing back one of the great MBA players of all time, Hrundi V. Bakshi, who started his Hall of Fame career here. Enough? Time will tell.

4TH – PHILADELPHIA PHOBIA: (6-4, 3-4) Picked for last, they surprised all with a finals appearance last season. They added free-agent superstar center Dis Reflexia, but will go into this campaign without retired defensive great Gabba Penton at forward. Will Reflexia and two-time All-MBA guard T. Kanes Masterson be enough?

LAST – HOUSTON IGUANAS: (3-7) Strong at forward with Vic Hitler and Harold Arlen, they lost Hall of Fame guard Hrundi V. Bakshi in the free agent draft and got nothing to replace him. Seem destined for last.

THE ROOKIES

Bound for Greatness
6-8 center J.J. Gargantuan will start for Charleston
6-9 center Pippi Pippstrelli will start for San Jose
5-10 sharpshooting guard Guy “the Eye” Clark will start for San Jose

Solid Futures Ahead
6-8 forward Bill Cull will start for Sacramento
6-9 forward Du-Du Dadinga will start for Sacramento
6-1 guard Bootlace Barnaby will start for Dallas
5-11 guard Chief Keef will start for Chicago

Good Looking
6-9 forward Peter Pizza will sit for Oklahoma City
6-10 center Matthew Scott Chemers will back up fellow rookie Pippstrelli in San Jose
6-4 guard Baskets Weaver will play off bench for Seattle


Questionable, but hanging on
6-6 forward Baba Brinkman chucks his way onto the Dallas bench
6-5 forward Mimsy Borogrove makes Sacramento roster
6-5 forward Baldy McGrindy will be nailed to Seattle bench
6-7 guard Dustin Hirsch has size for Philadelphia

Directly to the cut pile
6-2 guard YourMajesty Lumpkins drafted and cut by Seattle
6-9 forward Parker Wellington drafted and cut by Houston

Season 38 Free Agents Announced

The Season 38 Draft is already assured of being an exciting one, as no less than eight starters, including both active Hall of Famers, will be included with the 16 rookies in this season's draft.

It could be a short stay at the top for the defending champion Seattle Stampede, which lost two of its famous "Three Amigos," the most damaging being last season's playoff MVP, center Dis Reflexia, who is among the top centers in the league, if not THE top center.

Also taking big hits in the free agent department were Houston (Bakshi), Charleston (Payne), Oklahoma City (Jell-o)and Dallas (Shame), to say nothing of San Jose, which lost its MVP, center George Gershwin.

FLY DAVIA NAMED NEW COACH OF MILWAUKEE
The Milwaukee Greyhounds have announced the firing of Raisin Sport as coach and the hiring of first-time coach Fly Davia.
The Greyhounds have had four consecutive 5-5 seasons and have the longest streak (six seasons) of not making the playoffs in the MBA. On the other end of the spectrum, they also boast the longest consecutive string of seasons without posting a losing record (nine).
Weird combo, eh? We'll see how Davia does.
One thing Milwaukee has going for it is they are the only MBA team to have no retirements and no players lost to free agency. Seemingly, they can only get better in the talent department.
Raising Sport has been head coach since the second half of Season 23. He has compiled a regular season record of 76-69 which included East Division first-place finishes in Seasons 30 and 32. He has had four playoff appearances at the helm, getting to the finals in Season 32. But he could never get Milwaukee, which has the second-most titles withe seven, a championship. At one point this franchise was dominant with Philadelphia, but their last championship was in Season 18.

Season 38 Free Agents Announced

The Season 38 Draft is already assured of being an exciting one, as no less than eight starters, including both active Hall of Famers, will be included with the 16 rookies in this season's draft.

It could be a short stay at the top for the defending champion Seattle Stampede, which lost two of its famous "Three Amigos," the most damaging being last season's playoff MVP, center Dis Reflexia, who is among the top centers in the league, if not THE top center.

Also taking big hits in the free agent department were Houston (Bakshi), Charleston (Payne), Oklahoma City (Jell-o)and Dallas (Shame), to say nothing of San Jose, which lost its MVP, center George Gershwin.

FLY DAVIA NAMED NEW COACH OF MILWAUKEE
The Milwaukee Greyhounds have announced the firing of Raisin Sport as coach and the hiring of first-time coach Fly Davia.
The Greyhounds have had four consecutive 5-5 seasons and have the longest streak (six seasons) of not making the playoffs in the MBA. On the other end of the spectrum, they also boast the longest consecutive string of seasons without posting a losing record (nine).
Weird combo, eh? We'll see how Davia does.
One thing Milwaukee has going for it is they are the only MBA team to have no retirements and no players lost to free agency. Seemingly, they can only get better in the talent department.
Raising Sport has been head coach since the second half of Season 23. He has compiled a regular season record of 76-69 which included East Division first-place finishes in Seasons 30 and 32. He has had four playoff appearances at the helm, getting to the finals in Season 32. But he could never get Milwaukee, which has the second-most titles withe seven, a championship. At one point this franchise was dominant with Philadelphia, but their last one was in Season 18.